HikariNoKoe15

Those are really good! You have amazing photoshop skills, you know. I wish I could use it that well.

First of all, I would love to be a beta reader. Most- scratch that- all of my friends who write stories have me edit them at one point or another. I reckon I'm pretty good at it.

And, by the way, the synopsis of your story so far is rather vague, and you'll need to clear things up as it goes along.

Hope you read this! (not quite sure what I mean by that, but ok...)

The way to go about writing is to read, not to keep writing, silly!

When you see something about a story that you like, figure out how that person did it (I'm talking structure and phrasing, not characters and plot, here) and emulate, or try to put it in your own words.

Never surrender!!! :thumbs:

Let me be (hopefully!) the first to congratulate you on a job well done- I know that many out there have a hard time with their first works, myself included.
:thumbs:

And now for the suggestions.

It's really good to see a first timer with excellent grammar skills already in place. For better vocabulary, however, which is always a plus, use a thesaurus to find alternates for words that seem to pop up again and again (other than articles, of course). For instance: Kiss=smooch=peck=ravishing of the mouth, depending on how you want it expressed.

A stable and believable plotline is difficult for those who don't start out with one before jumping into the drafting. Know where you're going to go with things, and enlist others to see if where you went makes sense.

A fanfiction that moves too fast probably has too little substance. Have phrases in there that express moments of silence, or just a snapshot in time. Use vivid and detailed descriptions to give a vibrant picture for your reader.

The best way to know how to write a good fanfic- by far- is to read one!! If there is someone whose writing you admire and think is close to perfection, take a look at the things they use; their structure and phrasing is probably what you adore so much.

.....

:o



Holy. Crap.

I got all the way through that, and realized that I sound like a book. A really crappy self-help book. Please kill me if you see it too. Please.

That last one there is quite the adorable pairing. I wonder if krisk's tongue got stuck to her pole.



oooh. That sounded dirty. :devil: