Hello there! Welcome to my blog. This is where I will be posting daily day-to-day posts at the end of every one of my days. You guys should do it too, for memories! Feel free to comment or PM me about anything, I'll be sure to reply!

First off, I guess I should start an introduction. My name is Kara, I am African-American and Irish (slang: Black & White) and I am 16 years old. I live in New York, and grew up with Sakura~Kitsune whom you all know and love She is basically my neighbor as well (only a building away!). I go to a school where they teach English and Chinese so if you ever hear me talking about something at school, then you'll know it better *nods* I have a few siblings so if you get names mixed up, it's fine. I also love music and many other things (art, videogames, writing, reading, you name it) and my boyfriend is Dart Tension whom you older members will know *smiles* If there's anything else I didn't mention here, well, you'll find out in my blog

So now I will be starting my first post~

November 8th/9th, 2008 (12.22 A.M.)

I woke up this morning at around 10. I was really surprised that I had slept for almost 12 hours, a little bit ashamed of myself actually, but I'm glad I got all of the sleep I haven't been able to sleep lately because I have a bit of an OCD . . . If I don't get to say goodnight to certain people, then I sleep worse because I don't know if they're having a good night or not. I talked to my loved one two nights ago though after a very long time, so I was able to get all of my sleep that I've been missing

My computer is right by my bed (I have a laptop) so I just picked it up and started listening to music. There's this song my younger sister Bria has had my addicted to in the past day, called 'If You're Not The One' by Daniel Bedingfield. I have no idea why but I just turned it on! Then I decided to go through some songs from Faun that I downloaded last night before putting them in my iTunes. Another OCD I have is deleting things for space. I deleted quite a few songs today

I played Tetris for a bit once I had my songs in order and I got like, my best score EVER! It was 94050. I felt like screaming My general score is between 60,000 and 68,000 so I was very happy

After that I did my internet runs, which is basically what I do everyday on the internet Of course, I came right over here to H&E, posted in the Gamer's Lounge, went to my profile . . . and it said that my sister's ex-boyfriend had visited it. I have not spoken to him in over a year, so it brung back alot of memories. Even worse, my ex-boyfriend is his cousin. So I got around to asking why he had visited, he said he was going to ask me how to delete his account. I didn't know how (psh, why would I know? I love this place! ) but then, while listening to some songs, I really started thinking about my ex.

Not in an 'I miss you' way, either. It was like . . . Man, sorry guys but I'm about to rant. When I was with this guy from May until December 2007, things got sexual right away. And he was my first boyfriend, so I did it and didn't really think he was pressuring me. I'm still a virgin, but let me just say . . . I've done every other thing on the sexual spectrum - I was barely 15. So here comes my rant.



Alright . . . Sorry about that Afterwards I cleaned my room while blasting the Silent Hill soundtracks Mary Elizabeth McGlynn/ Melissa Williamson has an amazing voice. Her voice plus Akira Yamaoka's music makes me want to headbang while cleaning XD

Then I started writing this REALLY awesome Sci-fi story while chatting with my internet sister Kittine and Saku~Kit of course I've only written one chapter, really just a random idea of mine, but I'm sure I'll get something cooking with mah best sister-partner eventually (yes, she's who you think she is) *thumbs up*

I also played this horror flash game called 'The House', and DAMN! It was one of the best, most scariest flash-games I have ever played. Now, I LOVE horror games, but damn, it's different on flash since you have your headphones on and all you can do is click yourself away XDDD I also played this other one called 'Something's Amiss,' and it was AMAZING. It was one of the things that inspired me for my story - a girl does not know anything about herself except she is a project. It didn't inspire me directly, since in mine, a girl wakes up in a white room, but I'm sure I wouldn't have thought of it without playing the game *smiles*

Do you ever feel like that sometimes? That if you never did this one specific thing, you wouldn't have completed something else? I feel like that alot of the time. When I stay home from school, I usually work on a song, and sometimes they come out like WAY better than my usual, so I get so grateful that I stayed home from school it's quite silly

Let's see, what else did I do . . . I watched The Misadventures of Flapjack for the first time, and hell, that show is CREEPY, like, disturbing XD BUT!

I LUVZ BUBBY THE WAEL!!!

I also watched Chowder XD I love that show! He's so adorable. I don't watch TV in general but if it's on, I'm sure to catch them *winks*

So I think that's all of my day! I hope that you guys enjoyed hearing about it, and like I said earlier, you can comment or PM me about it if anything! See you tomorrow night!

-Kara

Hey guys! It's November 9th at 10.20 PM. I should be asleep right now

My day was pretty good! I woke up with the HUGEST writing urge ever. I pretty much wrote stories with Keyonna all day *high fives* It was so fun. I have a feeling that we're going to finish our first story by the end of this year, because all I want to do write now is WRITE WRITE WRITE! I think I'm gonna start looking for a publisher for us when I'm 17 In the meantime work on our other stories when we're doing that, so just in case we get turned down . . . we still have those *winks*

That's basically what I did all day. I re-edited alot of the first part to the story (which we have divided into fourths) and added pieces of new chapters and a whole new chapter as well. I can't wait until we're done, we'll probably post it up here for all of our H&E family to see

Because I was writing all day, though, and yesterday too, I didn't have time to do my homework I don't mind though. This is another one of those times where I think, 'Because I did this, then I got this accomplished.' Well, actually, because I DIDN'T do it, but whatever XD I finished it about twenty minutes ago (I go to sleep at 9.30, mind you, but True Blood was on, my only sleeping exception [besides Andy-love of course *swoons*] so I stayed up). But I still have to shower and get my hair done Lucky that we have no school on Tuesday, I'll take a nap tomorrow as soon as I get home however I do have to read two books by Wednesday and some homework that's also do on Wednesday, Kindred by Octavia something . . . and What I Saw and How I Lied by Judy something. I don't mind at all, since I love reading, but I just want to write so much! And the fact that I'm sleeping over Keyonna's tomorrow too . . .

Anyway so right now I'm feeling all blegh because I really need a shower. And I just found out from Mommy to leave my hair in and we'll just do it tomorrow . . . so that means you must help, Keyonna! Have fun untangling knotted, nappy black-and-white hair! XDDD just joking. But I'll post up a picture tomorrow night when it's done! (I swear it's not tangled at all *giggles* )

What else did I do today? Hm. Watched Dane Cook vids, watched 4PlayerPodcast vids, showed my friend the copy of Midnight Sun on the internet for her to read. Read some of the above homework books, thought about Andy . . . There's not much to say. Regarding him, well, I miss him, but you guys all knew that *is embarrassed*

Today though I was thinking about it, and even though I do plan to marry him in December 2010, I think I shouldn't. I MEAN, I WILL MARRY HIM IN 2010 IF HE ASKS, but, we'll most likely be still living with my parents by then (I'll be almost 19!) So unless I save enough money to move out by then, I really don't plan on getting married and going home to my parents and sister I mean, I am absolutely grateful that we can stay with them as long as we need, but unless we have some time to ourselves the first few days then I really want our own place before we get married. Know what I mean?

Anyway lolz I guess I should stop rambling about him . . . I could go on and on forever and ever if I wanted to. I actually want to put up this list I have of all of the reasons I love him but I have a feeling that it will make you guys sick of us XD Well, I'll put it up anyway, in a HUGE spoiler



Sorry about that everyone Sometimes I just need to let out all of my feelings when he's not around, and I think this is a good idea since he'll be able to read it someday Hopefully only 5 more days until we are reunited again!

Enough of my poetry! Now I think I will begin the countdown to the day we meet.

585 more days until the day that nothing will do us part!

And that is how I will end my blog tonight *smiles* Goodnight everyone!! Talk to you all tomorrow!!

I'm sure you really do love him, and he sounds like a nice guy, but I'd reccomend that you don't rush into things.

I'll be honest, I never had a relationship like the one you have, but I've known a young couple since high school. They went to college for 1 year, then dropped out and got married. Shortly after, they had two kids, and just recently they split up. The fact is that getting into a committed relationship before you're 20 can be difficult to keep; trust me, the two of you will still be figuring things out about yourselves, and you're very likely to change over that time period. Also, getting a job even with a degree is the biggest pain in the world; it would be tougher when the two of you are trying to support one another. While I don't know exactly where kids fall into this plan of yours, once you have them they require LOTS of attention; it would make work and education almost impossible.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, and if anything I said offended you, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to let you know my own personal observations on marrying young, and try to give you a heads up on what to expect if the two of you hook up that soon. The choice is yours, just make it wisely.

Hehe no, I'm not offended at all. I'm very happy that you threw in your opinion I know exactly what you mean. I've been super committed to two other relationships before (ones that I mentioned in an earlier post on this thread) and things well, totally went a 360. I went from liking girls to being with a guy, and well, I don't think I can mention some other things. But things do change when you're committed. But I do have complete faith in this relationship more than anything else in my life. Everything about this is right, not well, messed up like my others were and I was just blind because of 'love'. This is true bonafide affection (to me, atleast).

For us, well we're not going to drop out of college. We are so tight up about college it's probably sad. XD if I actually posted my thoughts about my college future it would probably be it's own post XD I am very serious about my education. Lolz and about kids. I don't want kids until I'm done with school and financially stable enough for them, I know this for a fact because my older sister got pregnant as soon as she went to college and now is at home 24/7. Same thing for his mom, sorta, so we both know first hand.

So thank you for what you said, I totally and completely understand and appreciate it Feel free to say anything and everything you'd like; that goes for everyone!

584 more days!

Hi, all! It's November 10th and 'Wo mang de bu ke kai jiao.' That is Chinese for 'I am as busy as a bee.' Well lolz I'm not really. Just really happy

I stayed up until about 1 AM yesterday reading 'What I Saw and How I Lied' by Judy . . . Blunder? Something like that. Anyway, the book is so good. I would finish it tomorrow but I have to read up to page 65 in Kindred and write a double-entry journal about it so that's my plan for tomorrow (and read afterwards! )

So I woke up this morning at 6.05, got dressed very quickly, and then read a little bit while waiting for my dad to drive me to the ferry *nods* The way to school was pretty normal, I just read and got deeper in the book *winks* I get driven to, then take a half-hour boat ride, then a bus, and then walk to school. All in all, that's about 1.5 hours. Just telling you so my readers will know *smiles*

I got to school at 8, *is thinking of anything specific to say* well my teachers teach in both languages, so my Chemistry teacher asked me to translate a sentence she said and it was awesome since I got it right and she said I sounded cute *squeals* Everyone else was really surprised. Outside of the Chinese classroom we usually aren't asked to speak so it was great

XD I'm trying to think of anything else. I took a U.S. History exam that I was absent for on Wednesday due to what we all like to call Obama Day . . . Then I helped tutor until 4 o'clock after that afterschool. When I got home Kit was waiting for me on the flagpole in front of my building so we went upstairs and played Soul Calibur 4 for a bit, Mirror's Edge Demo, and the Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm Demo too. We also found some REALLY FUNNY PICTURES of us when we were little! Oh man. I'm gonna post up one tomorrow and with a 'Now' picture so you guys can see how much we haven't/have changed XD

So now I'm at her house! Andy was actually texting her earlier today, so she let me text him for two hours or so, and he called me too for an hour. It was really nice *smiles* It wasn't like a one-sided-third-wheel couple thing, either. When we're all together it's very . . . fun and psychotic XD So we all had some GREAT laughs. I really love my best friends (/sister, /boyfriend) I wish you guys could meet them some day. Well, you guys know them, so you know what I'm talking about

We're gonna play Fatal Frame later tonight and Phantasy Star Online Episode II, hopefully level up quick (our specialty!) and kick some ghosty arse X] And maybe watch a movie! So I'm gonna let her log back onto her computer now, so I'll talk to you guys later XD Goodnight all! *smiles sweetly*

-Kara

583 more days. Can they come any slower?

Hi everyone. It's November 11th and well, as optimistic as I am . . . I'm really upset. And I really need somebody to talk to. Keyonna is not at the computer right now and others are away . . . atleast others that I can talk to. I'm so . . . upset. Angry.

I already poured my heart about it since mentioned friends came back . . . but my heart still hurts. Basically my parents are a part of a forum which I'm also a part of. My dad stopped talking to this lady on a thread and instead they talk on the profile comments, so my mom is taking it like hugely. It's pissing me off because she's like accusing him indirectly and I'm like 'Are you serious? It's comments! EVERYBODY CAN SEE THEM.' But they still kept on going at it.

So I mentioned about some things that's happened to me and Andy and she said that it's not the same because I don't know him. That only made me hurt harder. Because cheating is cheating regardless of whether it's online/over the phone or in real life or not . . . because that is our real life. So I'm hurt about that and hurt that my parents have the nerve to even fight over comments!

Anyway . . . My day was pretty good. I woke up with Kit curled up next to me and I think we looked like kittens. I waited for her to wake up for like an hour so in the meantime I was going to play Phantasy Star but turns out my sister totally f* up my memory card. So I can't even create characters because as soon as I make saved data it says they're corrupted. So we played Fatal Frame I and watched a Dane Cook video instead. Also chatted with her awesome mom. We watched Family Guy last night, the one with Lois becoming a model.

Then I went home, found out I left more than half my stuff at her house so I had to run back which was really funny, then started reading Kindred, and here I am now.

. . . I'm sorry I'm so dead today guys ;_; That really ruined my mood . . . I mean I never let things get to me and I'm such an optimistic but I feel so horrible in my chest right now . . . I have never described this feeling to anyone but Andy because he is the only person I knew who felt it as well. But I feel that I need to write about it here.

It feels like I'm choking a bit. Well not choking but it feels very, very tight at the base of my neck, and my heart hurts but not in a heartbreak way. In an . . . 'I can't believe this' way. And I start feeling nauseous sometimes and then if I get worse I throw up . . . I don't cry often, but this is what happens when I do. I'm so positive it's stupid . . . I love my positivity but I think that's why I'm so upset right now.

. . . I don't know what else to say. I'm tutoring a friend right now. I guess I'll post again tomorrow. I'm sorry, I should be caring about you guys instead.

-Kara

aww, Kara-chan. Hope your day will go better, if not, there is still H&E Family here if you need anyone to talk with ^^

Oh Mel! I'm doing better right now, I guess it was just a one day thing I'm fine, thank you so much I'm doing so much better today, thanks

582 more days.

Ugh . . . I'm not even sad anymore. Just really angry. That's why I'm not asleep right now, again. Me and my dad were just watching Family Guy and Dead Space and Silent Hill videos inbetween commercials and my mom comes out of nowhere like 'Your girl is asking for you on the forum, you better go talk to her.' I am so mad. And then I asked my dad to buy me Shadow of the Colossus because mine broke, and Kuon, because it's only $9, and she's like 'You already GOT your own game. You're not allowed to get one until Bria does.' Mind you all, Bria NEVER asks for games. She doesn't play them! And Mommy doesn't even pay for my games because she's not a gamer! Daddy does! Ugh . . . I'm so angry. Yesterday plus today was not a good combination. Plus I saw an old ex of mine today. And funny because today is an anniversary of mine too with Andy . . . the day that I told him I liked him.

Well, I guess I should stop talking about that. I did write an essay on The Revolutionary War and accidentally titled it the Civil War! XD it was funny. I didn't do much today, finished 'What I saw and How I Lied' by Judy Blundell (FINALLY GOT THE NAME RIGHT) and advanced on Kindred by Octavia E. Butler. Gonna restart Twilight tomorrow in homage to the movie . . . played some Mirror's Edge, about to save in Parasite Eve (speaking of which I chatted with Fallen_Angel today and he's also a PE fan very quiet person though).

And that's my boring day! No, to tell the truth, what's been happening is really squashing my . . . talkativeness. My parents are such great people and they're fun and successful and still so young with videogames and music and all that and I can't believe they're serious about this. It pisses me off to no end, guys. I'm sorry to keep bringing it back up. Goodnight everyone! I'm sorry this was such a short blog.

Sweet dreams

-Kara

581 days!!

Hi everyone! I'm feeling so much better since the past two days. I hope I haven't worried, saddened, or annoyed you guys

Let's see, let's see, let's see . . . Kara's day. My day, my day, my day. Well, last night I talked to the ex who I saw yesterday, which was pretty weird. I told him that I didn't want to be friends and that was pretty much it. I went to sleep at 12ish, woke up ate 6.30 (which is 25 minutes late) but I had a substitute for Chemistry, so when I got to school I was fine *nods* My best school friend Ceci wasn't here, so I hung out with a usual crowd. It was fun, my school's full of nice people *smiles*

At lunch I ate celery with ranch dressing, and alot of people asked me if I was eating because it had negative calories. Psh! Like I care about calories. I eat all I want, when I want, and still remain a good figure (and that's because I spend atleast 4 hours of my day travelling *winks*)

I finally got to do some tutoring today, with this really nice girl named Luneia (I think that's how you spell it). She was really the only person listening to me or my teacher. A group of four who I know and actually asked me for help didn't listen at all, which really lowered my spirits *frowns* The dean also asked me to work in the Chinese class and help teach them as well, the 10th graders, but ah, if these kids don't want to learn, then I won't force them, but I will try to give them a want and appreciation. I mean, I didn't like Math OR Chinese in 9th grade myself, but they grew on me and now I love them (especially Chinese!! )

In a way to show them how much they can learn by the school alone, while in Math I said to my teacher:

Me: 如果我们班上做 Geometry 的话, 为什么我们现在做 Algebra 吗? (If we're doing Geometry in class then why are we doing Algebra right now?)

and my teacher said back (in English XD) 'For the regents.'

The kids were all like 'Woah. That was like so cool.' So I think if I use more examples of 'cool' things I know from school, I think it will inspire them too. What do you guys think? I really hope it works *smiles*

So then I come home from school right? AND EVERYONE GOT VIDEOGAMES BUT ME. I mean, I don't mind, since all of the TVs are full now, but damn! XD Daddy got Call of Duty 5, Bria got Tales of Symphonia 2. Next will be some PS2 games for me . . . YES I AM A PS2 FANGIRL. I love my PS2 like it's my own baby. BECUZZLE IT IZ MAH OWN BABEH

Sorry, random moments ftw! XD anyway XD I'm just watching Daddy play now. Gonna go in the shower (YES, IT'S SO EARLY!) and go to sleep AT LIKE 9.30-9.45! WOOT! LOTS OF SLEEP! And tomorrow will be a good day since I barely have homework and get to talk to my dear boooyfriend~~~ AND IT'S OUR 11 MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Not to mention . . . ONE WEEK UNTIL TWILIGHT

XD okay, okay . . . I should go shower now. XD goodnight everyone!!

-Kara

P.S. THIS WEEK IGN AND GAMEDAILY ARE ACCEPTING QUESTIONS BECAUSE THEY'RE INTERVIEWING NINTENDO OF AMERICA, SO I SENT THEM MY QUESTIONS REGARDING FATAL FRAME IV'S LOCALIZATION. IF ANYONE WANTS TO HELP ME GET MY GAME OUT HERE, PLEASE DO SO BY GOING TO CAMERASLENS.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION

Goodnight!

579 days - Oh my, I skipped a day! (November 14th, 2008)

Hi everyone! I'm so sorry that I skipped a day, I fell asleep last night before I remembered to post. So I'm going to tell you about my yester-day and just re-post tonight for today's post Now I hope I didn't fry anyone's brains with that

Anyway so yesterday I woke up, got ready for school, you know, the normal. Mommy had to go to Manhattan with me so she rode the ferry with me and we talked about a few things, like Twilight, how did it go when I talked to my ex, how I'm gonna be late because she took so long to get dressed It was fun XD She told me that I was gonna get $200-$250 for Christmas because I didn't ask for anything, so I'm gonna go internet-clothes shopping with those as soon as I get my money *squeals* I haven't went clothes shopping in a long time!

Then I went to school, had Chemistry, English, Geometry, Health, U.S. History, then after lunch I had Chinese. We all played Bullsh** at lunch, it was so fun because I kept on winning Luckily, when I had one card left, the kid before me kept on bullshitting everyone so even though they knew what card I had from always putting it down, I never got cards because of him So that's how I won.

Chinese was SO funny. Like omg. My friend Ceci was wearing a scarf over her mouth and this kid Darren called her a terrorist, so my teacher got mad and made them go to Ms. Man's (guidance counselor's) office. So we were all cracking up because they were just joking, and to make things even funnier, they erased 'terrorist' off of the incident paper and put 'he called me fat' so Ms. Man ended up giving them a WHOLE conversation on why Ceci is a pretty and nice girl and why you shouldn't call anybody fat. Oh man XD It was the best.

Then we were doing a worksheet and I answered alot of questions, but after seeing what the last one was, I bugged and REALLY wanted to do it. Because it said, "What afterschool activities does Andy participate in? For how long?" And I was like "PLEASE LET ME ANSWER I WANT TO ANSWER CAN I ANSWER NUMBER 9??? PLEASE??? I WANT TO ANSWER NUMBER 9!" And after I answered it (happily and in love ) everyone was like 'Awww' (because my school's very small, everybody knows everyone) and then this kid said something 'Aw look at Mrs. Rodriguez' and I was like 'You stereotypical bastard! IT'S CARDENAS!' and then I said in Chinese 'I am Mrs. Cardenas' just for the hell of it. XD it was fun. 我是恪小姐. (Yes, for any of those that can read it, I gave the last name myself I just choose what sounds like your name and has a nice meaning *smiles*)

Hmm then I rushed home so I could meet Mommy at the ferry again, and OMG. I bought a banana from a bakery and it had white icing on the tip, and she made a perverted joke to the point where I couldn't look at my banana anymore

XD yesterday was a funny day. Keyonna came over and we were watching Dane Cook again. XD he's the best X3 I also happened to find this site that's SO AMAZING. It REALLY teaches you Chinese. AND IT'S TOTALLY FREE. It's called chinese-tools.com, and they have a dictionary, things like games, LESSONS, and even pronunciation and sentences and phrases for you to learn! Even mini-quizzes! FOR FREE! So I spent alot of my time on there last night XD It was so fun! I tested myself on some old things so I always remember them, I'm about to do that once I finish my internet runs *squeals*

In the meantime me and Keyonna watched 4PlayerPodcast/AutumntheCuzzy on YouTube(WE LOVE YOU BRAD!) and I have a feeling that I'm loving Brad more than Cloud now XD Brad is so funny and crazy! Cloud is hysterical too, but Brad is like . . . he screams so much and says the most random things while playing games, we were dying last night XD You guys should check out their videos as soon as you can *nods* Keyonna stayed until like 11, which by then I was extremely tired and falling asleep on the spot, so that was when I shut off my computer. It was me and Andy's 11-month anniversary so I was a bit sad that we didn't speak, but that's okay. Because you know why?

MY DAY ISN'T OVER YET.

So I wake up at like 12.20 to Bria playing Tales of Symphonia II and for some reason I imagine a line of cellphones when I'm looking at mine and notice that it's lit up and says 'Andy's House' on the cover. So I open it up in a hurry and it was my dear lover of mine *squeals* I was so happy. He was too. We only talked for an hour and aren't sure of the next time we're gonna talk but he's gonna try to get XBox Live again so we can *smiles* It was so nice. We talked about our weeks and videogames and school and Scrubs, the first time we talked over the phone and how awkward we were even though we were already in love and dating, how much we missed each other and the economy (random I know) and our dogs and my cat and my family (which my dad said Hello to him and talked about CoD5 for like 20 seconds, that's all they ever talk about, but it's good enough for me *giggles*)

And then we were talking about sleeping and stuff. Usually when we speak it's nighttime, so we almost-always go to sleep right after we're talking (we both prefer the dark because it's more intimate to us, most of the time we've talked was spent during all-nighters because we never wanted to fall asleep, so of course we naturally became friends and fell in love at night). We also have this thing where we ask each other which way we want to sleep because we always imagine sleeping with the other, so yesterday I slept on my stomach (as in sleeping on top of him ) To you guys that's probably weird or totally out-there, but hey, it's one of our many ways of loving each other

And that was my day! I had a dream about Silent Hill Homecoming, which was odd, because well I was playing it in the dream and have never played it, but that's not the odd part. When I woke up and checked my e-mail, I had one from Amazon.com about purchasing the strategy guide Freaky, I know! But anyway, I'm done for now, so I'm gonna post up later tonight about my day today *smiles* Talk to you all later!

-Kara

577 days - I officially suck!

Hi everyone! XD I started making yesterday's post earlier but my computer overheated after I wrote a REALLY long post So I'll talk about both my days *nods and smiles*

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. Nothing special, LITERALLY. I planned out my Christmas list, watched walkthroughs all day, and thought about my dear lover. THOUGH I DID get to hear Beyonce's new soundtrack, and what I have to say : OMG. She FINALLY brung back what made Dangerously in Love so great, mixed it with a hint of the horrible B-Day soundtrack, and created something SO great. My favorite song is Halo, which you can find here :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPD4Ms9R3UM

I love it so much that I'm going to make a piano version over the week *squeals* I'll post that up here too *winks*

As for my Christmas list, I'm getting $200, so here's what I plan to get - a shrug, two pairs of shoes, a skirt, and lots of games They are these :

1. Tripp Long-Sleeved Lace-Up Shrug
2. Black Bow Mary Jane Heels
3. Tripp Black Ruffle Plaid Suspender Skirt
4. Black Patent Mary Jane Heels
5. Okami
6. Ico
7. Shadow of the Colossus
8. Kuon

Hehe, yes, I do have gothic tastes, and I do love rare videogames, SO DROWN IN WHAT IS KNOWN AS KARA'S VIDEOGAME COLLECTION

XD enough about that. Today I woke up, ate Perogis for breakfast (which have like no taste whatsoever, but you can't help yourself from eating them for some reason!!) Then I did my homework while chatting with my internet sis Kittine and Keyonna (WHO PULLED AN ALLNIGHTER O_O) while watching Bria beat Tales of Symphonia II (I am so surprised she actually beat it that I can't breathe ) Then I downloaded Halo (hehe) and listened to it for most of the day while remixing Yasunori Mitsuda's Battle with the Devil. It can be found here~ http://www.youtube.com/user/AyaKaraRemix with the rest of my other remixes, if you have any requests, just ask me!!! *winks* I'll be glad to do it.

So I talked to Andy, he signed on XBox, we're probably gonna talk over the week when nobody's home. He called me later that night and it was really funny and adorable, UGH I just love him so freaking much!! (That was an UGH of happiness). I feel like crying and running around the whole world and back into his arms because I love him so much. I can't describe how I feel. I just want to spread what I feel every single day and spread it around the whole world to every single person who needs it and even those who don't so they can be happy. The times that I get like this are the days when I talk to him, because those are the days where my feelings are able to be expressed and I get to hear his voice and he gets to hear mine and I can know his feelings and he can know mine and AH! I just love him so much. Andy, whenever you will read this, I just want to let you know:

I love you.

I'm watching True Blood right now and I can barely watch it because I'm thinking about him so much. I'm gonna have to watch it tomorrow sadly but right now I feel like . . . like sleeping and dreaming about him. That's how I feel *smiles sweetly* I'm not sure what else to say . . . Just thank you God. Thank you my family and all of my generations and Andy's family and all of his for creating both of us over time. Thank you H&E for being the huge link to bring us together. Thank you Keyonna for introducing us, thank you Nikki and Jess and Jose for being key points in realizing our feelings for each other, even though what you guys did wasn't exactly positive, it still helped.

I love you so much.

Goodnight everyone. I'm going to sleep after True Blood I promise to post tomorrow right before I go to sleep. I promise!

-Kara

Andy signed online later in the day so we got to talk and he called me as well *swoons* I love that guy so much *smiles*

576 days! Woot!

Hiii everyone How was all of your days? I'm doing pretty good today, nothing special. My phone is broken so I was waking up all night (it's also my alarm, so my body was pretty much waking up itself) but I'm fine. I'm about to go to sleep in 20 minutes or so

Today was just a plain day for me, went to school and came back home. I went to a library in Manhattan with my friend Sarah, which was really cool, because . . . well . . .

NOT TO BE IMMATURE, BUT THIS WAS TOO FUNNY.



COME ON. ADMIT IT. It was on the way to the bus from the library and I was like WOAH!!! and then snapped like a psycho ;D

XD what else did I do. I had shrimp alfredo which was too delicious to describe EVAR!!! Then got an email from Andy so I replied to that with all of my love and dealt with an ignorant person on YouTube. I wish YouTube could be better . . . apparently you are not allowed to report someone unless it is against you, not other members, and even if they have a very offensive video (they had the N word and the swashtika all over their page!) you CANNOT report them for that. I am really angry with YouTube right now.

Anyway, I have nothing else to rant about, but tomorrow I'm going on a trip to meet the author of What I Saw and How I Lied, so I'll tell you guys how that goes! Maybe take some pictures!!

Goodnight everyone!

-Kara

(I FORGOT MY NAME AGAIN???)

574 days . . . Dude.

I must seriously suck if I forgot to post AGAIN. Unfortunately my sister has put me into a bad mood. I was sleeping well and she decides to come into the room and throw everything from her bed on top of me and turn on the light and the TV and blast music on the computer. So now I'm awake, fatigued (WHICH IS UNFAIR BECAUSE I WAKE UP AT FREAKING 6 TO TRAVEL FOR 2 HOURS TO SCHOOL, WHEN HER SCHOOL IS LITERALLY. RIGHT HERE. 5 MINUTES.) and sad. Sad because I really, really value my sleep, because when I'm going to sleep and when I'm asleep it's finally the time where I don't have to think about anything.

I mean, in general, I don't really HAVE anything to think about, but during the day I'm either at school, holding up a conversation, writing a song, writing a story etc. And don't get me wrong, I love all of these things, but I just love when I have the time to just do nothing. I didn't even have homework today because I went on that trip (I'll talk about that later) and just got to really be lazy all day today, I did make a song though which came out adorable and cute, which I almost never strive for but it makes me smile.

My friend Rianti who's a videogame designer in Indonesia has given me my 4th project in the past year today. We always work together, she wants me to be her composer for her games when we actually get somewhere. For now all she does is submit our work to clients and all these other people to see what she thinks, also submits into contests and school projects and all of that stuff. It's really cool working with her, anyway today she asked me for a title screen theme, a victory theme, a loading screen theme (the one that came out adorably cute) and 6 city themes, all for a game about puzzles and exploration.

The trip today was really cool. I met many authors including Laurie Halse Anderson who wrote Speak, Judy Blundell/ Jane Watson, and a few others. I didn't take any pictures, but I got two autographs from two very nice authors. One of them even told me write until my hands catch on fire and she made me laugh alot, she was very cute I'll post up the autographs later.

So we went back and had some pizza, and I found out the address of a videogame haven I stumbled upon a while ago from one of my pizza-mates (thank you so much dude) so he's probably gonna add me on MySpace later. I don't mind, but I have this thing with getting close to guys, I sorta stop myself from letting it happen. But I don't even try to. I just don't make friends with them like that.

Right now I'm having a pain inbetween my leg and crotch and I have no idea why. I've been sitting here tired for a half hour-45 minutes and it makes no sense that this is starting now I would be working on the rest of the songs but I am too . . . unable to do it right now. I mean, I've made great songs while half asleep, but having no inspiration because I'm tired and . . . not thinking about it? Not thinking straight? I don't know.

Random but I feel like talking about my YouTube buddy shootermen117. He is such an . . . honorable guy. Like, if you look in my e-mail, you'll notice that I have like over 9000 (overstatement) Youtube e-mails telling me he messaged me. We mail on a daily basis, like 10-20 times a day. Man . . . if any guy deserves an award for being the most . . . can't think of the word, but listen guys. He is 20 years old and he takes care of his younger sister for some reason. I never found out why but I think their parents might have passed. I asked him one time what is his dream for life, and he said, 'I just want my sister to be happy.' and we were talking about that, and everything he tells me, he always includes how he wants his sister to try this or have this and how he wants this for her and it's always something good. Like man . . . I have never met someone so dedicated to their siblings, especially from a brother to a sister. He's always asking me what he should get her for this day or such and such and it's really cute I really respect him for that, there really should be more people in this world that would go to no limit for their family.

I think I should play PS3 right now . . . I won free movie passes like 4 weeks ago and I didn't remember until today because of Twilight, but I can't use them unless the movie is 10 days old. So Mommy says I should go see Quantam of Solace with Daddy and just pay to see Twilight on Friday (because she knows like hell I will not wait until the 1st to see Twilight) although I SORTA already have promised 3 or 4 friends to use the tickets absentmindedly which isn't something I would normally do . . . Though I'm sure they'd understand.

JEEZ I'M SO TIRED. I'm sitting here re-reading things I'm writing and it's basically if I was half asleep and you were to ask me about my day! I just rant and don't sound interesting at all I really wish she hadn't woke me up.

Also for some reason when I woke up I thought Andy was sleeping with me. Random, I know. I remember one time I was falling asleep and I actually thought I heard his voice. When I told him he said he wished it happened to him, but trust me, he doesn't because then once you realize he's not there then it makes you miss him alot. I really can't wait until we're together, I know I say that alot but it's so true

It's 12.30 now and what pisses me off is that my whole family is still awake. I really can't believe them right now, because I know that I would never wake them up. And not to rant about this but my family always asks me to do anything because I am oldest and most responsible and the hardest worker and the smartest . . . and if I was asleep and they needed something they would wake me up first, or use my computer because it's in top shape, or text me for whatever. It's so unfair! Because now I'm sitting here awake rambling on a freaking blog making my life sound like it sucks when it doesn't, when in fact I could be asleep right now and dreaming of the random Sh*t that comes to mind that somehow mixes with Andy and be my cheery self. And now I'm laying with my eyes closed, head leaning on my couch as I type this. I am so tired, but I am the type of person who's body is used to just getting up once a day (I do not take naps) so this sucks for me so badly. I'm going to be so worn out tomorrow. And now I'm going to open my eyes for typoes because I'm putting this post to a close.

Yay. No typoes. The benefits of an internet boyfriend.

I really hope I'm never like this again. Right now I honestly sound like I'm bringing one of my story-characters out instead of being me. That's really . . . how angry I am right now that I'm losing sleep. Like I want to cry because it's so unfair. And here comes the anger tears . . . I really hope that you guys never have to see me like this again. Nor Andy to ever see me like this ever. You all know that I am NEVER like this . . . great, now I'm about to cry . . . I don't even know what's wrong with me right now. It's like this whole waking up thing really hurt me for no reason.

I have to go to sleep guys or do something. I can't stay on this computer forever. I'm really sorry that this post is up for you guys to read it, and I know this is true, don't convince me - that this was a waste of time. It was. I just did something totally inproductive for like an hour just to get out my feelings and I could care less if you guys read it, but it's like, you guys CAN read it. I'm not sure if you guys know what I mean, but it's like . . . basically I wrote this up here for my feelings, not so you guys can read it and feel bad for me or anything and post in reply to it. (Jeez, the side of my leg is really hurting . . .)

I need to go guys. I really . . . don't think I can stay here without writing the same things over and over. I'm gonna go play tetris.

-Kara

P.S. Me and Andy's year anniversary is coming up, I can't wait

That's what the blogs are here for. For you to express yourself, and any kind of feelings that you are experiencing not just the happy, cherry feelings all the time. I hope that you feel better later

Thank you Shauna Unfortunately I can't say I do, my computer is not working right now, which means every song I've made so far is gone. And I don't have back up because my family has never bought me a drive and I would spend hundreds of CDs saving them. My cousin is going to put my harddrive in a new laptop, which I would be happy about, but I have to have these songs by Monday. *sighs* Thanks Shauna. I really am going to try. Like really. I'm on Daddy's work laptop right now, but it doesn't enable downloads so I really can't make music . . .

Hey now! what are you counting down until D: I wanna know xD

XD until the day that I meet my boyfriend. Though I think that's a bit false since we're not EXACTLY sure, but basically it's counting down until his 18th birthday (and when I graduate )

By the way everyone I'm in a good mood again, just getting back up over that rough spell. Thank you everyone who supported me

E-dating?

Yeah! We met right here on H&E

I'm sorry for the long replies, as I've mentioned earlier my computer broke so I will make a post later today on how my week has been since the 22nd. Thank you everyone!

That must be cool I hope everything works out ^^ E-dating is an extremely emotional act. I will have you know when you two meet assuming you talk like everyday you will feel like you have known each other for 20 years xD.

XD thanks Gosu *hugs* It's true *smiles*

So how many days is it now? 556. It's December 7th.

Um, WOW. My life has been full with alot of ups and downs lately. I think I'm gonna have to divide my post of my happenings into sections LETS DO A TABOLACONTENTZ!

~Contents~
1. Self
2. Relationship
3. Family
4. Friends
5. School
6. Career
7. Randomness
(And no, this list is not showing my priorities in life. I just thought about them in that order)

~Self~
Okay first first FIRST. Self. Let's see. My emotions are finally going up that tall hill that they always do. I randomly tear on how much I'm in love and I'm back to smiling like a dork and telling everybody to be happy that they have such a life that they should value. Yup, I'm totally back to normal I haven't been cleaning my room lately but that's the only thing that's not right. Also I'm becoming very attached to a white hoodie of mine's . . . I think I've been forcing myself to believe it's Andy's

I've played Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time lately but I gave up on the Water Temple since I accidentally saved (and EVERYONE knows NEVER to save at the Water Temple) so I'm probably going to start all over next summer. Or go to another temple, get a key from it, and then continue with the temple XD I also beat Fatal Frame 2 again in like 4 hours (which is bad, I usually do in like 2) but I had fun.

ALSO. FATAL FRAME 4 COMES OUT IN 60 DAYS! *gazm* No matter how much I hate Wii, I REALLY want that game. That's like, my favorite series

And besides that I'm not sure what else to say. But I'm watching the vids for it right now *squeals*

I also listen to many remixes of Greensleeves and want to make a remix of it. Same thing for Mai by Yuki Kajiura. BUT I HAVE NO COMPUTER. BAJEEBUS.

Oh, last but not least : I slept over my friend Mel's on Friday, and I met her fiance, who told me that I am a vampire from the 16th century named Nicole who is the sister of Count D, and was reincarnated into a girl who even though dislikes being around much people and hates going outside, is very enthusiastic and has one of the biggest hearts out there. Her favorite color is also red. Me much?

By the way, he was serious.

SOOOO let's talk about my lover!


~Relationship~
I guess I'm jumping right into relationship already then! Wow. Well me and Andy have talked on the phone twice secretly in the past 4 days but it was for about 3 hours each time so I keep on apologizing just in case we get in trouble. We make our relationship harder without trying What's worse is that my mom is getting pissed though, she found out about some pictures that we shared and why Andy's family dislikes me, so it doesn't surprise me (though it hurts me) if our families end up getting into a huge argument soon. Today his mom might've guessed that he's been AIMing me from phone so . . . there goes another form of communication I wonder if they realize how much easier things would be if they just gave back the cellphone. There would be like, no problems.

Hm. Well we have been having some very deep conversations lately and not so positive, but that's fine. Another conversation that keeps coming up is whether he's going to come out here for college and we get married and live together ASAP or he stays in Arizona for college and we visit each other again and again, until it's over and he moves in and then we get married (A.K.A. about 21-24 years old). Personally I like the 2nd idea! I think it will honestly make things easier for us and financially we'll be great. He says he loves me too much though and wants to be with me ASAP. So we'll see Either idea I'll always love him and stay with him so it doesn't matter

OH. AND. ONE WEEK TILL OUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY BABY. F**k YEAH!!!!!!!!
~Family~
Family, Family, Family. Hm. Nothing much here. On Thanksgiving my godmother leaned on the table and it broke in half! And my dad has arthritis in his neck but I didn't know. What else. Oddly enough I just really bonded with my niece and now she knows like everything about me (and she's a year older than me). Also she told me how after you have your baby you still feel lonely. Lolz it was funny. I saw my oldest sister Melissa recently and she's 3 months pregnant but she doesn't look like it at ALL. I can't wait for her baby (and my own . . . )

Daddy's like level 60 in CoD5 so now we're wondering - WHERE THE HELL DID PRESTIGES GO? My dad (moonhead54) is like less than 100,000 on the charts. I'm like so surprised because I know he'll be number one pretty soon YEAH MAH DAD ROCKS.
~Friends~
Well, I already told you about the thing with my friend and her fiance. Ahh, nothing special with Keyonna lately, we've been working on new stories (WOOT MY PARTNER IN CRIME. BEST DUO EVAR.) I should read her blog and see what's up with her since I'm too lazy to ask her 'How are you? And by how are you I mean how's your life in school without me?' 8D

I hung out with my pals Ceci and Christian recently and we stumbled upon a store that has all of Tripp (Hot Topic) items for like, HALF OFF. AND THEY'RE REAL! If I ever have money I'm like, SOOO going up to 14th street and 6th avenue and exploring. We were in McDonald's too and this lady walked right up to the window and watched me eat, and Ceci was all like 'RAPE!' and I was all like 'Omg she's going to kill me after freaking me with my snack wrap' and then Christian goes 'What if she's a necrophiliac?' and then I choked in laughter to death. *grins*
~School~
Argh. School's been a mix of awesome an annoying. This kid Darren always competes with me over EVERYTHING and it's like just leave me the hell alone! It's like he's trying to prove he's smarter or better than me and comments over everything I say! And this kid Eric and Paul and they do the same and I just want to punch them (AND I'M NOT EVEN VIOLENT!)

In Math there's this kid I sit next to and tutor named Geoffrey who sounds like a 12 year old Andy. It makes me giggle. *giggles*

I gave up on tutoring the 10th graders since they don't seem to care. Said 10th graders broke a window in a classroom. WHY IN MY SCHOOL? My school got 3rd best in New York and 31 best in the nation and it's so quiet but we just got this one batch of horrible students who really seem like they had nowhere to go!

Thursday I went to Baby Buggy and helped out for charity by putting together clothes and shipping out shoes. Tuesday I'm going to a soup kitchen! I love helping people *smiles* this relates to school since I went with my Health teacher and a few others.

Speaking of Health we've been learning about sex lately, and like an idiot I smile and put my head down in class. I think it's because I didn't have a boyfriend when I took Health in middle school so now of course my mind goes back to him. I'm so silly
~Career~
Career? WHAT Career? I totally need a job. And as for my music and writing stuff, ahhh, well, I don't have a computer so I can't make a song. BUT. I've been writing on paper (stories) with Keyonna which has been so awesome. We've recently thought about this awesome sci-fi story even though we promised not to make anymore until Eye of the Snake and Asylum were finished. DAMN US 8D
~Randomness~
Well, the opening harp song of Zoolander is awesome.

Also I've been riding the train by myself all week and switching trains and I just feel so awesome. X] even though I've lived in NY my whole life, the train system is totally complex. It's an uptown-downtown thing but I'm sure once you know where all of the transitions are at you can get around X3

I SUCK AT PIANO NOW. So I'm gonna buy a new one when I get a job or birthday money or something.

My christmas list has changed too! By alot since I added movies and music to the mix and took away clothes, but this is what I'm getting:

Movies:
1. Juno
2. Silent Hill
3. Wicker Park
4. The Orphanage

Games:
1. Ico
2. Kuon
3. Shadow of the Colossus

Books:
1. The Hunger Games
2. The Good, The Bad, The Undead
3. Every Which Way but Dead

Music:
1. I Am . . . Sascha Fierce

Anyway . . . not sure about what else to write. Nice posting up here again! I'll try to post more often!

-Kara

507 days. It's January 23rd, 2009.

I am . . . in so much pain right now. I don't even know why I'm hurting this much. No, we didn't break up. And we didn't get into an argument. This is something a bit worse. And I know I haven't posted in forever but it's because I lost my computer 2 months ago and was actually posting here from school or my dad's computer when I had time, but that was very rare. And I'm all very sorry to anyone who has been wondering about me or anything.

I just talked to Andy's mom.

Like I said, I don't know why I'm feeling this way . . . But I'm going to post up the IM so you guys can see. I'm sorry if I break into another rant.
AM = Andy's Mom
Me = Me



And she hasn't IMed back in over an hour and I'm telling myself she's busy because I don't want to assume, but I can't help but think she's either ignoring me or she's thinking really hard about what I said . . . Which I'm sorry, but I really doubt the latter. I don't know what to feel right now . . . I honestly do feel like crying but I don't know why . . . I feel that I was very respectful and that not only was I being polite but the thing is . . . That's the real me. That's how I normally talk. And I honestly cannot take it if I'm being more mature than she is . . .

I want them to see the good person in me. The person that they don't know but think they do. I wish they could see me how Andy and the rest of the world sees me. It's like, out of all the people in the world, I never, ever, wanted to be accepted by so much until now . . . And I know my job in life is not to impress anyone but myself, but these are my future husband's parents. Imagine what they think about my parents just because of me?

. . . It hurts.

I don't want to post this up for people to bark about her but I just want to talk about my feelings. So just listen to me. You can talk, but I just need someone to listen.

Kara

503 days!! It's so close!

Wow, do I have something to tell you guys!! IT'S SO AMAZING. Like you guys don't even understand. This is huge!

Me and Andy will be together without having to hide it.

YEAAAAH!!!! So he emails my phone at 12.41 AM on Sunday night and I was asleep, so he emailed again and again (12.42, 12.49) saying KARA WAKE UP I HAVE GOOD NEWS ETC ETC so of course I wake up and jump on my computer and he tells me that his parents talked to him about me and him and how they can't stop him from being with me so basically . . . Next Friday he's going to be off punishment and sometime soon his mom will call my mom and they'll talk about the reasons why we were restricted from each other and ask if my mom will monitor me or not. Even though I don't exactly like that (because my mom does know why and I did tell Andy's mom myself that I told her, and the fact that I don't need to be monitored) hey, I'm not complaining!

Our relationship can finally go back to normal. I'm not sure if he's getting his computer back, but that would be a nice plus - if not, phone is all I need! Ugh I'm just so happy!! Yesterday I partied with Keyonna (Saku~Kit) with a carton of ice cream and craploads of sandwiches I CAN'T WAIT!!

Even better, there's a slight chance of his coming to visit this summer or some other time before high school ends . . . If that happens, I will be freaking ecstatic. I am sooo taking pictures and posting them on H&E (after all, we are together because of the you [and Saku~Kit, and Kishi, and Naruto . . . ])

So right now I'm just getting ready to go take my English regents, I'm just so hyper!! I'll try to keep my mind off of my happiness while I'm taking my test Wish me luck everyone!

I love Andy so much Thank you to he and everyone who's ever supported us, I really appreciate it the most over everything else Our relationship is finally . . . completely assured. Nothing literally can go wrong. I'm so happy! I love you Andy

I have to go get ready to leave now everyone, but I promise I'll be back on later See you all!

Kara

I'm really really happy for ya, kiddo

Long distance relationships really *are* hard to maintain, but once you have decided that you and that special someone *will* do all that you can to make it work, then it's truly worth any kind of troubles that may try to get in the way

Woa, I'm glad it work out for you. I know we don't talk much (if any) but i do at least know you're a nice person in H&E. hope everything goes fine for you.

PS:

my advice, don't. instead, keep the mood but not the thought. trust me it lets you study much easier.

Yeah Me and Andy have known for over a year that we were the special ones for each other, though we've just had alot of obstacles but now that they're gone, things are just . . . *sighs* I'm just really glad they got better and I appreciate that you guys have always been here for us

Lolz it was a joke. Usually I go into daydream mode when I'm happy. Don't worry, I took the test and totally rocked it (I don't study though but thanks! )

463 days until I'm with Andy!

Hi everyone! Tomorrow's my birthday, for those of you who didn't know. Right now I'm in a very horrible mood so I'm not going to say much. I'm just hoping that everyone is doing well and I'm sorry that I haven't been on recently.

All I'm going to say is that I love Andy and Keyonna very much. That is all.

Kara

happy birthday ^^

Thank you, Gosu!!

Lolz I'm going to post up my pictures now!!

Here's me looking like a big dummy xD my body looks very disproportionate but I'm holding all of the slices of cake



Here are my best school friends Ceci and Sarah who bought me the cake lolz. I didn't take any pictures of me at home or at dinner so sorry guys, I'll try to get some next time (but it's hard when the birthday girl's the only one with a camera LOLZ)



Lolz so yeah lolz. You guys already heard about my birthday, and to top it all off, ANDY CALLED ME!!! And he's going to his dad's house for Spring Break (which starts THIS Friday for him, mind you) so his dad will let us talk allll~ week long I'm so happy

Thank you to my H&E family who still celebrated for me even though I don't come on much, I appreciate it

AYAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!



8D





to the rhetorical question in your bday thread, YES


kbai

XD I know, thanks Krisk I was chatting to him last night when he told me he was reading my blog so yeah