RKRJ

First off, I'd like to say, hello fellow NaruSaku fans.
Second, I have expressed my hate of fics where Sakura makes Naruto leave the village, and it turns into a naruharem, by writing this short little ficlet. I hope you enjoy.

By reading this you agree that you will not be offended, and if you are you will stfu and leave.

A rly gud story

Author: HAY NARUTO LOL I AM MAKING A LITTLE THING AT THE TOP NO ONE CARES ABOUT
Naruto: rly lol.
ASGJAGJ@23424: IM A FRIEND OF THH AUTHOR OF THE FANFIC OKAY>
Author: sry 4 the delai! i had to go stick some kitten in my *sshole!!111

"F*ckn'demon! Go f*ckn' die!"

"No! Why are you like this! I never did anything to you!"

Another member of the mob stepped up and shouted, "You just die. You killed everyone! YOU!"

"I don't understand!" Uzumaki Naruto cried out, "up until now there has only been a
mild distaste for me! No one has ever beat me or hit me, unless they were mentally
unstable and also tried to kill other people!"

"STFU Naruto-baka, lol," Haruno Sakura said, "You hurt Sasuke-kun!"

"B-but - I'm suffering from chakra exhaustion and I'm missing half of my torso! He
shoved a Chidori through my chest and I gently pushed his face away , which knocked
him out! How was I supposed to know that would have happened?!"

"OMFG. NARUTO-BAKA! I ONLY LUV SASUKE AND NOT U LOL!" Sakura shrieked as she punched
Naruto as hard as she could. All of the aesthetically unappealing villagers with the
intelligence of apes started grunting and beating Naruto.

"FINE! IF THAT'S HOW IT IS I'LL LEAVE!"

Enter Tsunade. "But Naruto, what about your lifelong goal? A stupid b*tch and some
retards start beating you, and your whole personality changes?! And
shouldn't you be dead from blood loss by now?!"

"NO! TAKE YOUR NECKLACE!" Screamed Naruto as he hurled the necklace
of the Shodaime Hokage at Tsunade.

As Naruto hopped the fence of Konoha, which was strangely unguarded, Sakura only
thought one thing. "Oh my god... W-what have I done? I love Naruto-kun so much..."

"I'm such a b*tch," Sakura thought as she started shaking violently,
"Naruto-kun... come back to us in either 2, 2 1/2, 5, 7, or 10 years! I don't even
care if you are a member of Akatsuki or some other random organization of OCs!"

"Lolwut?"

"Foreshadowing."



______________________________________


10 years later.

Naruto Uzumaki, Daiben Kirabiyaka, and Phillip were standing outside the gates of
Konoha.

"It's been a while since I've been here..."

"Why are we here?"

"Lets go to the hokage tower. Maybe everyone will be gathered there for no reason, and I
can show how much I've chang- IT'S RAMEN!"

With that said, Naruto ran to Ichiraku ramen, sat down and said, "Hey old man it's me!"

"Who? Ayame do you have any idea who this is?"

"Nope."

"Oh come on it's me, Naruto! You guys were like a family to me, and would always cheer
me up when every I was raped and maimed by the villagers!!!"

Ayame, the waitress at Ichiraku, said, "Umm... you're that kid that wore orange, right?
None of that ever happened."

Naruto's expression became dark and he said, "If you're not with me... then you're
against me!"



Naruto ran to the hokage tower and burst in, only to find everyone in there for no reason.

"D-dobe! You're back and I love you!"

"N-Naruto! I'm sorry I didn't train you as much as I did this sl*t here," Kakashi said,
pointing to Sasuke, "but that was only because I l-loved you and I-I was scared! Be with
me!"

"N-n-n-n-n-n-a-r-u---"

"Naruto-kun I'm sorry for breaking your heart! I cut myself every day! Promise me that
you'll never leave me again! This is Sakura, by the way!"

"Naruto... ever since you beat me at the chuunin exams and showed me that fate wasn't
everything, I've loved you. Lets-"

"NO! NARUTO-KUN YOU HAVE FLAMES AND! YOUTH! I LOVE YOU!"

"Little gaki," Tsunade started, "I love you the most! You are so amazing lol. Choose me."

"RAWR!" Gaara rawred, "He's mine! I'll kill you all!"

"My name is Tenten."


"ENOUGH! MY NAME IS DAIBEN KIRABIYAKA AND I SAY STOP OR ELSE!"

Everyone's eyes grew wide. Ino stepped up.
"
IT MEANS 'PAY BY PROXY GORGEOUS!' I EVEN GOOGLED THAT SOOOOO...!"

"Even so, my name is Phillip," Phillip declared.

Everyone narrowed their eyes.

"YEAH, YEAH, I know what you're all thinking. My name is Phillip. You're all wondering
why my name isn't japanese. You're also wondering WHAT FANFICTION
AUTHOR would call his characters a common western name, right?"

"Now that we got that out of the way," Naruto exalted wistfully prettily,
"Our organization is called..."


________________________________________________________________________________
_______

"...Akatsuki"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!"

"Hey... how come Phillip yelled, and no one else acted surprised?"

"Well Naruto-kun... you ARE wearing Akatsuki cloaks," Sakura chimed in.

"Hrmmm..."

Naruto turned to Sasuke and said, "Hey Sasuke-teme, I'd like to fight you!"

Inside his mind Sasuke was panicking, 'omgomgomg how can I hurt Naruto-kun?
But then again I might get to touch him so I'm in '

"Fine, dobe, lets go to the training grounds."

Naruto took out a special kunai with seals on it. He threw it up in the air and made
an odd hand seal. He caught the kunai and started walking away very slowly.

"Right, let's go."

As they walked through the village everyone in sight, male and female, were looking at
Naruto with longing eyes.

Once they got to the training grounds, Naruto took off his shirt.

'omg i luv hem,' everyone thought.

Sasuke brought out his Mangekyou Sharingan. "Like this new Sharingan dobe?"

Naruto gawked. "Why do you have the Mangekyou? You specifically decided you
never wanted it, and that you were going to find power your own way!"

"Nope."

With that said, both rivals went so fast that no one could see them. Naruto won.

TO BE CONTINUED... oh wait, stories like this have no plot and are given up on.
THE END