Sayaka-sama

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Muzzle

Before she could even finish blinking, he was crouching defensively in the far corner of the room.

"Kiba," Sakura chided, "Cut that out and get over here. It'll only take a few seconds."

He glared ardently at the syringe lodged between her svelte fingers.

"Sod off. I'm not getting a shot, woman."

"Kiba, all people are due for their tetanus shots every ten years, and you're just about due, so could we please get this over and done with?"

"Over my bloody carcass."

Sadly for Sakura, being under Hippocratic Oath meant barring back any and all urges to beat her assigned patient into submission -no matter how willing she was to do so. So it took a hard bite to the inside of her cheek before she could calm down enough to walk to the far side of the examination room and crouch in front of the gruff Chuunin before her.

"Now, now," she whispered softly, the corners of her lips elevating, "I promise I won't make it hurt, okay? And if you're a good boy, I might even reward you with a lollipop afterwards." Smiling slightly, she offered her right hand. "Come on, Kiba. It's not the end of the worl-"

The blunt tip of his fangs pushed down gently -yet firmly- on the flesh of her fingertips.

She blinked.

"Kiba, did you just bite me?"

He grinned slyly.

"Maybe."

------

AN: There there, Kiba. I used to bite my doctor too.

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Gravity

Christ, I don't think I've heard her break for air yet...

It was inevitable, he noticed. Every morning, it would be either Naruto or Sai who would chime in their two cents of the day and get Sakura rolling on one of her notorious rants, and it proved to be quite tedious and complex to get her to stop once she got fired up.

Twelve minutes, now. Twelve minutes.

And all because Sai called her "Mommy".

"For the millionth goddamn time, Sai, would you stop calling me that?! I swear, if it's not hag, it's something remotely similar to it. You think this is clever, you little s***head? Hey! Wipe that damn smirk off your face!..."

And so on and so forth.

And it needed to end.

He cast a wayward, speculative glance her way before he returned his gaze to the small book in his hands.

Out of nowhere, a light bulb lit up.

He flipped a few pages back, back towards the third chapter.

He found it.

With a quiet snort, he recalled that he couldn't tear his eyes away from this page for a good six minutes when he first came across it. Quite well illustrated, he believed. And very accurate in... proportions, if he had to hazard a guess.

And it was in color.

Perfect.

This ought to shut her up.

With his signature stealth, he crept towards Sakura's back, his thumb carefully marking his designated page.

Just a little further...

"...I so swear, I'll kick this boot so far up your ass, you'll be sneezing s*** for the rest of the year..."

A little further...

The spine of the book expanded, sunlight spread on the pages as he opened it behind his back.

He leaned in towards her ear.

"Hey, Sakura."

She jumped. "Er, yes, Kakashi?"

The cocked smile on his face was evident even under the censorship of his mask.

Before she could contemplate his hidden expression, he held something up.

"Could you keep yourself occupied with something more... stimulating?"

Sai chuckled. Naruto gaped in silence. Sakura, he imagined was going to pop any second now.

She simply blinked, a bored glaze in her eyes.

Huh?

Slowly she wrapped her dainty fingertips over the book's spine and pushed down, which left nothing now between her and a rather confused Hatake Kakashi.

"Kakashi."

"Hm?"

"I take it this was supposed to surprise me?"

Damn. "To an extent, yes."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You do realize that I'm a medic, right?"

"Yes."

"And that it's part of my profession to see some of my patients naked?"

"Uh, yes." He didn't like where this was going...

"Sometimes on a weekly basis?"

He coughed. "I suppose that could happen..."

"And half the time, I'm faced with people I couldn't care to see naked."

He paused for a bit before he spoke again. "Oh."

There was no phasing this kid anymore it seemed.

From their spot on the railing of the bridge, Sai and Naruto unanimously shuddered.

"In fact, I'm not sure if you noticed, but..."

She pried the book from Kakashi's hand, flipped it around, and pointed to a certain spot on the page with a precise index finger.

"The kittens here lack..." She searched for a second before she smiled deviously.

"...gravity."

And on that note, she snapped Icha Icha Tactics shut, placed it back in Kakashi's hands and turned on her heel before walking away.

He simply stood there, slowly drinking in her words before he flipped the book open again, discreetly back to the infamous page, and he studied it ardently for a minute while Sakura wrapped up her argument.

They don't look that wayward...