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#1 Selun_chen

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Posted 24 October 2006 - 02:41 PM

Rokudaime smile.gif

Created by Selun_chen.
Beta-reader + "co-worker" CauseIambetta(this guy needs credit)

I have made a thread here to update or paste interesting things about the fiction.
It was his fault his blood was on his hands, and so was her leaving him too. What does a certain Hokage do when his whole world is starting to crumble before him.

Summary of the story so far.
Sakura has returned to Konoha after a six-year absence, carrying not only a student, but a past that would make most people break. Surprisingly, Tsunade is gone and Naruto is now in charge, but she returns on a dramatic point in history. The Rock has decided to attack Konoha to get information. When they finally do attack Sakura heals the Tsuchikage before Naruto, making her a traitor of the village of Konoha.
If that wasn't enough it is revealed that her student Tohru is the future medic of Akatsuki, which means that Sakura has been held captive for several years.
Before anyone knew what happened, the council had in secret planned on throwing Naruto of the Hokage-position by using Sakura as a tool. Now Shikamaru, Sakura and Naruto is on the run from the new Hokage and the world who wants nothing more than Naruto's head on their plate.
However, as Tsunade would say "Don't underestimate him"


So, here is the story. Please enjoy... smile.gif

I just felt like making a thread like this. (maybe it can help me with my shortterm-memory X3)

Chapter 11:
There is a secret that most powerfull men would die to know of. A weakness that the Rokudaime posseses that causes Sakura grief and worry. It isn't easy being on your own either, when the person closest to younow acts like a total stranger, and with a kid who admires them both. Shaking ANBU off was never an easy task to begin with either.

Cha Ne!

#2 causeiambetta

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Posted 24 October 2006 - 02:46 PM

hells yeah.

#3 MagusKyros

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Posted 24 October 2006 - 03:09 PM

Drama++
A NaruSaku Manifesto - A presentation on the NaruSaku pairing using the manga.


#4 DasDeke

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Posted 24 October 2006 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (Selun_chen @ Oct 24 2006, 09:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Rokudaime smile.gif


So, here is the story. Please enjoy... smile.gif

Chapter 11:
There is a secret that most powerfull men would die to know of. A weakness that the Rokudaime posseses that causes Sakura grief and worry. It isn't easy being on your own either, when the person closest to younow acts like a total stranger, and with a kid who admires them both. Shaking ANBU off was never an easy task to begin with either.

Cha Ne!


tongue.gif Tease!!!

#5 Selun_chen

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Posted 24 October 2006 - 08:37 PM

Chapter 11

smile.gif

I have finally made Chapter 11, it might be surprising, and has defiantly more drama than most of the other chapters. The secret might be different from what most people think.

And of course, half of the ideas goes to my ever so friendly beta-reader "causeiambeta".

Chapter 12:
As they sit there by themselves, the familiar "Rookie 9" arrives along with the Sound ANBU. Before nobody realised anything, they now have to face the choice. Serve Konoha, or serve the *real Hokage*. Tsunade had also done something that not everyone approve of, what has it to do with Naruto? And how long will Shikamaru stay on both Gaara and Temari's blacklist?And lastly, what will Sakura do concerning her own feelings?

Cha ne! smile.gif

#6 JoHamSandwich

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Posted 25 October 2006 - 09:31 AM

Chapter 11 was a great chapter Selun-san! I can't wait for the next chapter! =D

#7 Selun_chen

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Posted 09 November 2006 - 08:17 PM

Thank you Johamsandwich!

Anyway, I finally kicked my beta-reader and litterally begged him to start betaing - might seem rather cruel.

chapter 12

finally! chapter 12, I say in the authors note that this is like a ...blah blah blah chapter - it is just - nothing - nothing new that hasn't already been in some way revealed.

Chapter 13

Naruto and Sakura arrive to the border of the Rock country, and Sakura has a hard time figuring out if they get closer or futher apart. It doesn't help that living together seemed like a harder task than they could have imagine. Naruto is haunted by a past he does not treasure and Sakura begins to worry about her own future...

#8 MagusKyros

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Posted 10 November 2006 - 12:05 AM

Eh, don't you think Sakura was being too much of a....how shall I say, an ass in chapter 12?
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#9 Selun_chen

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Posted 19 November 2006 - 08:15 PM

Selun_chen here. I am writing a small - thing - something. Because I curios to know if someone is willing to read chapter 13 and give there oppinion on it. Why you ask? Because I get the feeling that I am doing something wrong in this chapter - and I would like to get another oppinion beside my beta-reader's.

PM if you would like to.




QUOTE (MagusKyros @ Nov 10 2006, 01:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Eh, don't you think Sakura was being too much of a....how shall I say, an ass in chapter 12?


Oh - I don't know - I guess it is up to the point of view(personally I don't like Sakura in Roku at all - but I just can't change her like that - I am trying to make her sweeter....X3 sorry if you got...turned off by it)

#10 MagusKyros

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Posted 19 November 2006 - 08:26 PM

No, I'm not turned off by it, but you'd think she would be a little (or a lot) softer on Naruto considering what they've been through together. She was even considerate of his feelings after the time skip; probably because she knew then how hellish his life was.

Other then that, your story is pretty good.
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#11 Derock

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Posted 19 November 2006 - 10:41 PM

Well this is a very good chapter.

There were a lot of emotions and a huge argument which almost letting to killing themselves.

A big +++ for a drama story. :thumbs:

The chapter is fine as it is. Just check your spelling and grammar before posting it on FF.net.

Anyways, I love reading the story, my second favorite. (First favorite is Hands of Destiny by Genesis which I totally recommend everyone to read because that fic is the Best NARUSAKU story ever written!)

Keep up the good work!

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#12 Selun_chen

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 07:22 AM

QUOTE (kenson @ Nov 19 2006, 11:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well this is a very good chapter.

There were a lot of emotions and a huge argument which almost letting to killing themselves.

A big +++ for a drama story. :thumbs:

The chapter is fine as it is. Just check your spelling and grammar before posting it on FF.net.

Anyways, I love reading the story, my second favorite. (First favorite is Hands of Destiny by Genesis which I totally recommend everyone to read because that fic is the Best NARUSAKU story ever written!)

Keep up the good work!

Oh - I have read Hands of Destiny ...Somehow I didn't think so highly of it, maybe that is just me XD the only story I was really amazed about was Loophole! my favorite story ever!

QUOTE (MagusKyros @ Nov 19 2006, 09:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No, I'm not turned off by it, but you'd think she would be a little (or a lot) softer on Naruto considering what they've been through together. She was even considerate of his feelings after the time skip; probably because she knew then how hellish his life was.

Other then that, your story is pretty good.

I dunno how to really defend that -because I hate defending somehow. Well, I can say it like this - Sakura is now 23, for six years she has been hunted by Akatsuki. She returns to find Naruto Hokage, which means he has managed to suceed without her, while she has continued to live in her past. Now that sounds really pathetic - but Sakura is rather cold after the death of Sasuke. She wants to be kind towards Naruto, (chapter 13 proves that) - but she has a hard time expressing it towards him, so she tends to be rather rough on him. Because she is just as stubborn as him.

I read the time-skip .... and I have taken those things into consideration.

#13 JoHamSandwich

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE (kenson @ Nov 19 2006, 02:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well this is a very good chapter.

There were a lot of emotions and a huge argument which almost letting to killing themselves.

A big +++ for a drama story. :thumbs:

The chapter is fine as it is. Just check your spelling and grammar before posting it on FF.net.

Anyways, I love reading the story, my second favorite. (First favorite is Hands of Destiny by Genesis which I totally recommend everyone to read because that fic is the Best NARUSAKU story ever written!)

Keep up the good work!


I totally agree with you. I admit that they're OOC, but then again, they are a bit OOC in the fic. keep up the good work.

#14 Selun_chen

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 08:37 PM

Thank you Kenson and Joham for the pre-view - I will not say that they are not OOC - because they are, and I hate appologizing so no long explanation why - I think it would be a 3 page long essay if I did do that. Anyway! back to topic.

Chapter 13 (really - I believe this is the only chapter I am very hessitant in posting ....damn, it is also the cursed chapter too)

chapter 14
"Sakura has always been sort of distant" his voice echoed through the room. "But somehow I can't help but notice how close you to are together"
Naruto and Sakura thought that the fight would have made them drift apart, but unexpected events forces both of them to rush things that should not be rushed. Sakura though never expected that a single letter from the Tsuchikage would tear her feelings up so much.


Sounds fluffier than it is...O-o

#15 Derock

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Posted 21 November 2006 - 04:48 AM

I knew what you going to do with this situation.

I just figured it out when you said there are three stages in this arc

First the fighting, next chapter is the healing, then (I assumed) the regain of trust...

I'm not so sure about your surprise... so i be taking guesses when you post your next chapter.

Update soon! smile.gif

EDIT: I almost forgot about this...

When reading the Sakura/Tohru mother/daughter moments, have you consider Naruto as the father figure of Tohru's life?

I'm seeing this a lot in your recent chapters and I think it is a very good idea of Naruto being the paternal figure to Tohru.

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#16 Sir Whirly

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Posted 21 November 2006 - 05:10 AM

dry.gif I was almost pissed at you. But I am not now. I do understand.


#17 Selun_chen

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Posted 21 November 2006 - 02:21 PM

QUOTE (Sir Whirly @ Nov 21 2006, 06:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
dry.gif I was almost pissed at you. But I am not now. I do understand.

uuuhm O.O how come? I understand why people would hate chapter 13 ...because I hate it too...

QUOTE (kenson @ Nov 21 2006, 05:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I knew what you going to do with this situation.

I just figured it out when you said there are three stages in this arc

First the fighting, next chapter is the healing, then (I assumed) the regain of trust...

I'm not so sure about your surprise... so i be taking guesses when you post your next chapter.

Update soon! smile.gif

EDIT: I almost forgot about this...

When reading the Sakura/Tohru mother/daughter moments, have you consider Naruto as the father figure of Tohru's life?

I'm seeing this a lot in your recent chapters and I think it is a very good idea of Naruto being the paternal figure to Tohru.

God are you smart! Well - the surprise is something completely unexpected - I even blew of my beta-reader by saying that.

and Yes - you can call the three strage arc those things you just said. But I will probably do it a bit differently...

^^

#18 Selun_chen

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Posted 27 November 2006 - 06:39 PM

I have the feeling that I am updating too much - oh well.

Chapter 14
Now - this chapter turned into, without the good will of mine, into a double chapter. 6100 words I think. There is a reason why it became that long, and I have spend all my spare-time on it, meaning I haven't been able to colour any illustrations for Roku.

I appriciate all feedback etc.

Chapter 15:
Naruto had the feeling that when she smiled at him, she meant it really. When they would laugh together, have fun together. It felt so surreal, because this was Sakura - and it could mean a lot of things. To Sakura it wasn't that easy - not with a letter in her hands, clutching it hard because to her she needed to make decisions...
And Sakura had the feeling she chose the wrong one this time.


EDITED - now with link

#19 Derock

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Posted 27 November 2006 - 08:22 PM

Please.Can't.Wait.Must.Read.Story.Now!

Just kidding... tongue.gif !

Is there any chance I get a sneak preview of the chapter?

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#20 Selun_chen

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Posted 28 November 2006 - 02:19 PM

QUOTE (kenson @ Nov 27 2006, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Please.Can't.Wait.Must.Read.Story.Now!

Just kidding... tongue.gif !

Is there any chance I get a sneak preview of the chapter?

Not this time X3 ...maybe next chapter - but if you read the next chapter all the fun for me would be ruined.




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