20 replies to this topic

[MonkeysTotallyRock]

Okay, so, my story is true freedom. Not really popular, but oh well. I need major help. So basically, here's the deal:
Naruto------------loves/likes------------
------------loves/likes------------ Sakura
BUT
Hinata-----------------loves------------------Naruto
Naruto----------------starting to like------------ Hinata
OC character------------------likes----------------Naruto
Naruto--------------------------likes-----------------OC charater
the problem is -- sakura thinks the OC character LOVES naruto, but she doesn't. only likes him. so, sakura acts all wierd. naruto, being the dumbhead as he is, doesn't know why she acts all weird. OC character, doesn't know sakura thinks OC character loves naruto.

ON TOP OF ALL THIS
jiraiya and tsunade bet
jiraiya--------------- naruto ends up w/sakura
tsunade------------ naruto ends up w/hinata or OC character
SO
kiba/kakashi PULL STRINGS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR JIRAIYA
kiba/shino/kurenei PULL STRINGS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR TSUNADE
KIBA -- ON JIRAIYA'S SIDE -- DOUBLE AGENT

now, i need some ideas... and help for scenes when they try to force naruto with someone. complex, i know.

[Illjwamh]

Well, in a situation like this, Tsunade could very easily abuse her position by sending Naruto out on a lot of missions with Hinata.

The Kiba aspect is a nice touch. In fact, I think it could potentially be the most interesting part of the story if you play it right. Having him simultaneously provide Jiraiya's side with information while coming up with doomed plans for Tsunade's side would be great to watch. But you also have to make sure he doesn't do anything malicious. Since I'm assuming you've put him where he is because he wants to be with Hinata himself, you have to make sure none of his machinations will hurt her in any way. And he could also be the shoulder for her to cry on when plans go awry, so to speak.

This layout is a virtual goldmine for story ideas and character development. Resist the urge to write a lot of gags (one or two here and there never hurt anybody) and go for the serious approach and it could be fantastic.

[gamerman_007]

Oh i read your story before. Its good.
You could do something like kiba and naruto are walking, and kiba is leading naruto to where sakura is bathing, etc. That would be humorous.

[MonkeysTotallyRock]

haha. yeah, it would scare the hell out of naruto seeing sakura so "exposed" but it would be funny. oh, and Illjwamh, i can't do that cuz they're already on this mission, and this is like half year long mission, you know. well, may be not that big, but it's big.

[Memories]

Isn't there a problem with Tsunada backing both Hinata and the OC character. Tsunada is a smart woman that knows to win she'll have choose one while leaving the other as Plan B. Two would divide her resources. Choosing that you can decide what type of plans Tsunada and her elves would use for that character. And in turn Kiba would supply that to his team or ruin it himself.

The idea of Sakura being observed by Naruto taking a shower dosen't do anything for her . It is funny . The plan is to get the two together not have Naruto back panting after her like a lovesick puppy .

The ideas for scenes is the hardest thing, but they don't need to be complicated, simple will do just too. Describing an idea may be complex though.....

An example: Kiba tells Naruto that he's been training with Hinata, but she needs to train with someone who has a completely different fighting style and brain. Of course Naruto is like "Sure, I'll help Hinata." The idea is for them to spend the day together talking and getting close together with their bodies. Of course it never happens since Kiba tells Naruto the wrong day to come.
Kiba then gets Sakura to follow Akamaru into the training area Naruto is. Kakashi then puts a lock down on that area with the excuse of testing equipment making Naruto and Sakura....and Akamaru spend all day and night in the woods or wherever together. A lot of things could happen good and bad maybe even something as funny as Naruto walking up on Sakura bathing in the river. Making them have to cuddle for warmth and in their heads having some internal conflict esspecially with Sakura.

That was just an thought.
Simple in my head, not so much when describing it.

[gamerman_007]

That's a good one right there.

[Memories]

By the way MonkeysTotallyRock, that chibi is most likely the cutest I've ever seen.

[DazeDreamer]

Yeah I agree the chibi is cute! So kawaii! Anyway yeah I read your fanfic (as you know) Anyway welcome to Suggestion 101 buddy! Okay first:

Kiba casually walked over to Naruto. "Heeeey Naruto," he started off, "So..whatcha doin?"

Naruto looked at Kiba with an eyebrow raised. "Uh....Kiba...I'm carrying firewood." he replied obviously holding a pile of firewood in his hands.

Kiba slightly panicked. "Thaat's great. So um....what do'ya think of Kira-chan?" he asked him slyly.

Naruto looked suprised. "Kira-chan? Oh she's great! I really like her!" he smiled.

Kiba panicked. "B...But what about Sakura?" he asked nervously.

"Eh? Sakura-chan? What about her?" he asked being oblivious as usual. Unfortunatly Naruto only focused on fighting, a little manners, and fighting(again) during the 2 and 1/2 year training. Although his habits slightly changed, he at least wasn't as loud as before. (Keyword: SLIGHTLY)

"Well don't you like Sakura?" Kiba asked hoping he'd say yes. His worries were not in vain.

"Of course I like Sakura-chan! I love her!" he smiled as hee thought about Sakura.

"Oh!" Kiba sighed in relief, "Then what bout Kira-chan?" he asked.

"I thought I already said that." Naruto said confused.

"Well...I mean..how do you see Kira. Do you...ya know...Like LIKE her?" he asked.

"What?! Kira-chan?! No of course not! I only think as Kira-chan as a good friend... and a great sparing partner too." he added.

"Oh! okay...Welll...umm...bye!" Kiba yelled as he ran off.

Naruto's eyebrows were raised. "oooookay." he muttered as he shook his head and headed off to the campsite.

------------------
So whatcha think? Anyway hope ya update quicker and maybe I will too if I get the chance! See ya!

[MonkeysTotallyRock]

thank you! i saw it and i had to pick that for my avatar. itachi!!!
right, i see what you're saying. tsunade isn't that stupid... is she? well, i mean, she is the legendary sucker, or loser, or whatever... she has to dumb in gambling and betting for that, right? anyways, i'll fix the problem. well, i have some decent ideas now, so thank everyone! especially memories and narusaku fan for the chibi complement! yay!

[Memories]

I never understood why Tsunada was such a lousy gambler. I mean she smart and wise being one of the three legendary senin and a medical ninja and now the Fifth....Maybe she just dosen't have alot of common sense and/or luck....but she's going to be smart about this to show Jiraiya up.

And your welcome MonkeysTotallyRock...also thank you for the compliment in another post on my signature (I'm putting it here b/c otherwise I'll forget :o ).

[DazeDreamer]

I never understood why Tsunada was such a lousy gambler. I mean she smart and wise being one of the three legendary senin and a medical ninja and now the Fifth....Maybe she just dosen't have alot of common sense and/or luck....but she's going to be smart about this to show Jiraiya up

Yeeah I never got that either. But man that bet is steep! -low whistle- But I think that Tsunade's bet is the worst. -shivers- Anyway the only time Tsunade ever wins, is when something bad will happen. oh btw Memories, I love your signiture.

[Memories]

[QUOTE]Yeeah I never got that either. But man that bet is steep! -low whistle- But I think that Tsunade's bet is the worst. -shivers- Anyway the only time Tsunade ever wins, is when something bad will happen. oh btw Memories, I love your signiture.

Yea maybe that means she won't win this or if she does win Naruto will end up having to be nurse to health by Sakura falling back in love with her and she him. The Jiraiya will want his money back.

Thank you NaruSaku fan for the compliment. Ilike yours alot too(but don't tell anybody ....sshhhhh!!! )

[MonkeysTotallyRock]

haha. come on guys, this is a narusaku fic! of course tsunade's gonna lose... or will she?

[DazeDreamer]

Ah. That was a lame cliffy, (no offense at all!) Still it was funny! Especially when you put the little ninja smily. Anyway thx Memories! And update sooooooon MTR!! I looooooove your story!

Yea maybe that means she won't win this or if she does win Naruto will end up having to be nurse to health by Sakura falling back in love with her and she him.  The Jiraiya will want his money back. 

The Jiaiya? Heh. I prefer Naruto's name for him. Ero-sennin! Anyway yeah he might want a refund.. But Jiraiya didn't bet money. Oh well! Anyway it would be funny if Sakura and Naruto accidently figure out about the bet... Sakura would kill them.

[Memories]

Yea Sakura would totally kill Naruto ...and Ero-sennin ..and Kiba ...and Kakashi ...and well the list goes on :shamefulcry0js: . But "want his money back" doesn't neccessarily refer to money it could be..........................lol Jiraiya going on a diet then.....he'll then make Tsuanda go on one .

As for the winner.................it doesn't matter as long as getting there is twice the fun.

[MonkeysTotallyRock]

i'm trying, but i think i've run out of inspiration for this story... ugh... i'm thinking of a side story, related, about kakashi and kira's story, and may be one tsunade jiraiya... but man, this is one serious writer's block... ah, well, all my finals are done, so i'll try and write.

[uv12345]

i'm trying, but i think i've run out of inspiration for this story... ugh... i'm thinking of a side story, related, about kakashi and kira's story, and may be one tsunade jiraiya... but man, this is one serious writer's block... ah, well, all my finals are done, so i'll try and write.

I think the story would rock but it a little to spread out

[Onionhead Attacks]

I think I've read your story on ff.net. It's a pretty good story compared to all the new stories that are suddenly popping up out of nowhere. It sucks that you've suddenly got writer's block, but then again it happens to everybody.

Oh yeah, I have a little suggestion to make. I don't suggest making up stuff for the story as you write since that's where a lot of the chaos and confusion happens. Perhaps you should plan it all out completely and then continue writing. Unless you've already done that, then nevermind.

Anyway, I'm curious to see how this love triangle along with the bets will turn out. Good luck with your writer's block and your Jiraiya/Tsunade wins the bet scenario.

[Zahrn]

From what you described, it sounds like your story is more of a novel than a short story.

If I was working on this story I would do the following.

First, I would have the scenes only span a few days.
Two, while having Tsunade and Jiraiya bet, that isn't the point of the story. You need a theme. If Naruto is the main character of your story, then you need to give him something, something that he wants or a problem. Primal issues are usually the best. Ask yourself these questions: What does he want? What is standing in his way? How is he going to get it?
Three, you want to start your story as near to the climax as possible because this is a short story. You do not have a lot of time for exposition.
Four, limit your characters. The more characters you have the more deminsions your story has. List your characters and look to see if you truly need them.

[MonkeysTotallyRock]

wow. dude, you're like a pro. all right. finally some systematic advice. thank you. all right, yeah. okay, will do. thanks everybody.