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Responces to Despair of the Kunai


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#1 ABrokenRomeo

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Posted 25 February 2006 - 04:59 PM

Please put all creative/uncreative comments in here happy.gif My first question to reviewers: Did you like the point of view? It's sort of an experimental one I think, the writing style is experimental too.
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#2 ABrokenRomeo

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Posted 15 March 2006 - 04:50 PM

Not that the some 50 people that read this topic care enough to reply, but please do this time. New Chapter is up and I'm looking for helpful comments on it, or just comments saying you like or hate it.
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#3 JoHamSandwich

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Posted 15 March 2006 - 06:32 PM

The whole 'emo' Naruto is from that one fanfic 'Sorrow and Sadness'... I don't like emoness on Naruto...like the whole cutting your hands up to ease up pain. But hey, it's your fic, and write it as how you want it.

On the other hand, your story's very interesting. I noticed that Naruto doesn't like Sakura, so it isn't a NaruSaku...which is what Sorrow and Sadness was. As long as you don't kill Naruto off, I think it's great...I'd like to see him overcome this phase that he has right now.

There's some grammar errors, like Sensei, or truly...that's all I remember from just reading it. It's not that annoying, but I'm the type who tries to pick out anything that's wrong. XD

In conclusion, interesting story, and keep it up.

#4 Vespar

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Posted 19 March 2006 - 03:28 PM

Ah, an interesting piece!

From the (very) limited experience I've had in reading this genre, I can say some are written in too fast a pace or too slow; without enough substance to warrant either (probably because they were mostly one-shots). So far, your rhythm is pretty set and there isn't much fault to be found that some tweaking here and there can't fix.
Aside from the redundant 're-read it for the trivial mistakes', I apologise as I can't offer any real critique; being that I haven't read enough, nor even delved into attempting to write it.

Good work and keep it up! I'd like to see where you go with this!




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