124 replies to this topic

[KonaKonaFan]

Catsi speaks words of wisdom. If she says no, just be satisfied with friendship.

[Smiter]

Don't use lines!

Just relax, and don't try to pretend to be someone you're not. The general guidelines when dating anyone are: Relax, show good manners, treat him/her with respect, show interest in him/her as a person (hobbies, work/study, likes/dislikes etc.) and try to avoid making him/her uncomfortable.

Cat's post is a pretty good summary of things, so keep them in mind.

There are no lines for this situation. none of which that dont come off as forced or cliched.

Dont buy into Hollywood or TV sitcom cliches or ideals, they're not realistic nor well written for that matter half the time.

the Best line you'll find is quite simply. Hi would you like to get lunch (or whatever coffee dinner movies etc)

it really and trully is that simple.

Also dont make the mistake of thinking that you have to get her alone to ask her out. It shows more courage for her if your willing to talk to her and ask her out irregardless of what other may think then if you constantly try and get her alone.

think of it from this perspective. Might she not think that you're embarrassed to aks her out?

Be bold and direct.

Nothing says that you have to get married and have babies within 6 minutes of meeting each other. Simply ask her out theres no pressure, no tricks, no special lines.

Just simple self confidence and boldness ((both of which women find very attractive in a man)) also dont fall into the leaning against a wall, or hands in your pockets, or looking every where but at her routine.

Look directly at her, stand up straight ((Dont slouch)) and ask her directly. if you do so you'll do fine.

if she refuses thank her for her time, and let her know you're there if shed like a friend.

She will appreicate the honesty and boldness and you might be surprised at the end results.




I reiterate my earlier advice. if she says no then she says no.

It isnt the end of the world, and it wont be the end of your's/. Ive asked out many a girl and been told no many a time.

I can trully say that I have no regrets and have no what might have beens in my life.

And thats the worst thing. Having this girl be a "What might have been", a "What could have been", A "What if id only".

Failure happens in life. this is an inevitable and oftne painful fact.

But it is not failure that defines us It is how we deal with that failure that makes us trully successful.

[theorangehokage]

OMG! Thank you everyone ! .. But what if she likes another guy? Because i see her flirting with this guy named alex ): ..

Edited by theorangehokage, 19 February 2011 - 03:23 PM.

[KonaKonaFan]

What I said last post. If you ask her out and it turns out she likes another guy, just be friends.

Edited by KonaKonaFan, 19 February 2011 - 05:02 PM.

[theorangehokage]

Okayy.. Neww problemm ):

I recently was meeting up with this girl, we was getting well close, then one day she went to a party and was well off of me, didnt really wanna speak, didnt wanna meet and i started getting paranoid that she might do something because the last week or so was so romantic, i thought it was near set in stone that we would get together. Well the next day i thought i would ask her out. She said she didnt want to feel like she was leading me on but she still likes her ex and them too were talking last night and her ex is trying to get back with her. I get upset and i made a joke, she gets angry with me about it and i get upset and start saying a load of bull and now she hates me. I put on skype depressive statements and i was just in one of those states.

I ask for forgiveness later that night on skype. She then blocks me. when my friends speak to her, she says she doesnt even want to be my mate, and gets angry with them. I know it seems like im being treated like kitten, but im in love with this girl, i cant get all the happy moments we had together off my mind and i love everything about her, it actually hurts not bein able to be atleast friends.

I need this girl back! even if its just as friends, please, i need Advice, i just dont know what to do, i get abusive and flip out because i realised that what i did was wrong. I need her, it hurts.

Edited by theorangehokage, 19 February 2011 - 11:57 PM.

[Greed-Sama]

Okayy.. Neww problemm ):

I recently was meeting up with this girl, we was getting well close, then one day she went to a party and was well off of me, didnt really wanna speak, didnt wanna meet and i started getting paranoid that she might do something because the last week or so was so romantic, i thought it was near set in stone that we would get together. Well the next day i thought i would ask her out. She said she didnt want to feel like she was leading me on but she still likes her ex and them too were talking last night and her ex is trying to get back with her. I get upset and i made a joke, she gets angry with me about it and i get upset and start saying a load of bull and now she hates me. I put on facebook depressive statements and i was just in one of those states.

I ask for forgiveness later that night on Msn. She then blocks me. when my friends speak to her, she says she doesnt even want to be my mate, and gets angry with them. I know it seems like im being treated like kitten, but im in love with this girl, i cant get all the happy moments we had together off my mind and i love everything about her, it actually hurts not bein able to be atleast friends.

I need this girl back! even if its just as friends, please, i need Advice, i just dont know what to do, i get abusive and flip out because i realised that what i did was wrong. I need her, it hurts.

Move on. I'm telling you from a guy who chased someone for five years. You can't force anything. If you try and go after her you will only make it worse. If she really wants to be your friend she'll come back on her own.

So again advice: Move on and ignore it.

[theorangehokage]

... the way you write it, it makes it sound easy .

[Greed-Sama]

... the way you write it, it makes it sound easy .

It's not. Not even close. But it's the only way. I promise. If you try and chase after her, you'll come off way to strong and literally scare her off, and you don't want that do you.

Yes it'll be painful if you really care, but that's exactly it. You want her to be happy, not yourself.

[catsi563]

Because painful as it is.

it really is that easy. Or more appropriately Simple might be better to say.

All you can do is ask her for forgiveness state you're sorry only once and that you want to be her friend again. if she doesnt respond or responds negatively then thank her for her time and what friendship you shared and let her know you're there if she needs you.

After that walk away and move on. All you'll do by hanging on is make things worse for you, and scare or otherwise push her further away.

one thing though. Dont ignore or trivialize your feelings or memories. they are a part of you and what you shared and thus are important.

That said dont dwell on them or live in the past. If you did something together that you enjoyed, then continue to enjoy it. Dont let the fact that it was a shared enjoyment kill your own fun.

Edited by catsi563, 19 February 2011 - 10:52 PM.

[theorangehokage]

So, she is gonna be at the mall i hear... should i go talk to her now?

[TheBerserkMoogle]

I don't see why not.

[theorangehokage]

well she is with friends also .. or shud i wait until tomorow when i see her at library?

[Davidos]

I would suggest let it chill for atleast the weekend until she is cooled down abit.
I had a girl I was once liked get mad at me aswell. Its best to let it rest for a while and don't bring up the subject at all.

[theorangehokage]

oh truee... davidos, i was thinking about that but then the thought " what if i wait too long? will i lose her? " came to me..

[Mik3]

Thats up to her. You oughta wait and let it burn and then approach her when the times right. And go do something to keep you busy and pass the time till then. Don't give yourself the opportunity to over analyse things.

[Davidos]

Best advice I could give you then is just tell her you are sorry for what you said without any excuses and if she won't accept your apology.. to be honest she isn't worth it then trust me...
Your better of with someone who will equally respect and would care for you.

[theorangehokage]

*sighs* ... so.. tell me please... is this what letting go feels like .. if so,, i really dont like it...

[catsi563]

waiting a week should be sufficent for all heads to cool down, then approach her in a public place where she will feel safe and not crowded. that way she knows you're sincere and shell be comfortable.

[theorangehokage]

But, like.. she is almost 90% of the time around friends.. the only time that she isnt is study hall.. but its like dead silent in study hall....

[Davidos]

I would think if she is with her friends ask her if you two could talk somewhere privately.
Just don't try to be too pushy its really bad in these kind of situations and it will lead to stuff you will regret again.