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#1 BakeNeko-Chan

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Posted 20 November 2013 - 05:14 PM

So, I'm kind of doing a rewrite of the Pein arc in my NaruSaku fic, Succor, and I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with Nagato. I am completely scrapping the mass revival and I also don't want to simply kill him off when all is said and done, so what are some ways I could go about it? And how might Naruto have to deal with possible consequences if perhaps he let Nagato live? Any ideas/advice are very welcome and appreciated. :smile:


Edited by BakeNeko-Chan, 20 November 2013 - 05:15 PM.


#2 KnS

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 06:08 AM

So, I'm kind of doing a rewrite of the Pein arc in my NaruSaku fic, Succor, and I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with Nagato. I am completely scrapping the mass revival and I also don't want to simply kill him off when all is said and done, so what are some ways I could go about it? And how might Naruto have to deal with possible consequences if perhaps he let Nagato live? Any ideas/advice are very welcome and appreciated. :smile:

 

When you say you're completely scrapping the mass revival, do you mean just that part -- in other words you intend to leave Kakashi, Shizune, etc., dead for the rest of your fic?



#3 tricksie

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 03:06 PM

So, I'm kind of doing a rewrite of the Pein arc in my NaruSaku fic, Succor, and I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with Nagato. I am completely scrapping the mass revival and I also don't want to simply kill him off when all is said and done, so what are some ways I could go about it? And how might Naruto have to deal with possible consequences if perhaps he let Nagato live? Any ideas/advice are very welcome and appreciated. :smile:

The Pein arc is interesting because there are two "villains" there, but one gets the lion's share of the focus. 

 

In your story you could focus on Konan to carry the plotline instead of hinging it all on Nagato. Konan is alive (so right of the bat, Konan>Yahiko) and she's still a thriving, able-to-self-protect fully human (Konan>Nagato). Without Konan to protect Nagato and carry out his orders, Nagato would never have succeeded in his plans. Konan makes different decisions than her two teammates and is driven by more emotional motives rather than straight vengeance.

 

I don't know the ins and outs of your story, but you could use Konan's activities or interventions to get your plot where you want it to be, without drastically tipping the whole naruto universe on its head. 

 

There's a lot to play around with with the Pein arc. Nagato could be too weak to revive everyone. Then Konan and Nagato may retire to some temple out there to live out their days, functioning as some type of temple oracle for those who seek another way. Lots to play with. Hope this helps!!



#4 BakeNeko-Chan

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 04:29 PM

 

When you say you're completely scrapping the mass revival, do you mean just that part -- in other words you intend to leave Kakashi, Shizune, etc., dead for the rest of your fic?

 

Yes, Shizune and others will definitely remain dead, but I may play around with who is actually killed, not sticking strictly to canon depending on whether I might have other uses for them. With Kakashi I'm not sure if I may or may not have a purpose in keeping him alive since I don't know yet how far the fic will end up going, but I do have plans for Hinata, so she will live as in canon.

 

The Pein arc is interesting because there are two "villains" there, but one gets the lion's share of the focus. 

 

In your story you could focus on Konan to carry the plotline instead of hinging it all on Nagato. Konan is alive (so right of the bat, Konan>Yahiko) and she's still a thriving, able-to-self-protect fully human (Konan>Nagato). Without Konan to protect Nagato and carry out his orders, Nagato would never have succeeded in his plans. Konan makes different decisions than her two teammates and is driven by more emotional motives rather than straight vengeance.

 

I don't know the ins and outs of your story, but you could use Konan's activities or interventions to get your plot where you want it to be, without drastically tipping the whole naruto universe on its head. 

 

There's a lot to play around with with the Pein arc. Nagato could be too weak to revive everyone. Then Konan and Nagato may retire to some temple out there to live out their days, functioning as some type of temple oracle for those who seek another way. Lots to play with. Hope this helps!!

 

Thank you for your feedback. You actually kind of confirmed some of my own thoughts on the matter, Konan is definitely a big factor to consider, and you're right that there's a lot to play around with. I will probably end up writing it at least a couple different ways to see what works best, because sometimes you just don't know until it's all written out to look over and critique. Again, thank you very much!



#5 tricksie

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 04:38 PM

 

Yes, Shizune and others will definitely remain dead, but I may play around with who is actually killed, not sticking strictly to canon depending on whether I might have other uses for them. With Kakashi I'm not sure if I may or may not have a purpose in keeping him alive since I don't know yet how far the fic will end up going, but I do have plans for Hinata, so she will live as in canon.

 

 

Thank you for your feedback. You actually kind of confirmed some of my own thoughts on the matter, Konan is definitely a big factor to consider, and you're right that there's a lot to play around with. I will probably end up writing it at least a couple different ways to see what works best, because sometimes you just don't know until it's all written out to look over and critique. Again, thank you very much!

 

If you're changing up a lot of the finer details, then you could certainly be more merciful than Nagato with who lives and dies. Kill of Shizune if she doesn't have any further use in your story, but leave Kakashi to survive if he does. 

 

I will never kill off Jiraiya in my stories, and I wonder now, if Kishimoto had it to do over again, if he would have offed him at what has ended up being the half-way point in the manga. Some characters are worth resurrecting.

 

Writing it out and taking it for a test drive is a great way to go, and I do it often. Helps you determine plot and whose point of view tells the best story. 

 

Can't wait to see what you come up with!!



#6 Nate River

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 06:00 PM

I think one thing you will want to watch out for is to avoid turning Naruto's opposition into nothing but faceless mooks. Kishimoto does this with Kyuubi. It's easier to marginalize, minimize and discredit the nameless and faceless. I feel the ongoing debate regarding Obito suffers from this issue. The audience, I think, will have a much easier time gravitating to the side of the people they already care about. Even if you spend a lot of time developing a good OC to serve as the face of your victims, I'm not sure it will be enough. If it were me, I would try to find someone close to Naruto, while also being careful to avoid having them behave in such a way as to instantly discredit themselves (see Ei v. Naruto for a good example on what not to do).

As a practical matter, I think if Naruto lets him walk, many of the rookies will stand with Naruto even if they hate the decision. They've done so, despite issues with Sasuke because ultimately he has succeed and been proven right (if only by cheating) and in the case of Nagato, who else was going to beat him (a decent point).

If Kakashi/Shizune die then people they care about are dead and the Rookie solidarity might fracture because they are bearing direct costs as opposed to mooks bearing all of it. So, I think you might want to think about leaving them dead, or at the very least, find ways to transfer the death and destruction to those close to Naruto, so that they are in the same position as the angry villagers, regardless of which side they stand with.

Also, if Shizne remains dead...how does Tsunade react? It's easier (emotionally) for her to stand with Naruto when the village demands blood if she lives, but she has more credibility when doing so if Shizune dies. I think letting Nagato walk is the type of thing that could create a fissure where people would start demanding his expulsion and run him out of town. If you go there though, be careful because that plot line has such an bad history in fanfiction.

Would Naruto let him walk? The manga is written to where I think you can make the case that Naruto credibility let him walk or capture him and turn him over the military/criminal justice system (whatever they have). Of course, if that system decides to execute him anyway or lock him away for ever, I don't see it meshing with Naruto's beliefs. In addition, don't forget Rain has an interest in him and that unlike Obito, Nagato has a legit grievance against Konoha for what Konoha's outhouse for all evil deeds (Danzou) did. That's not why Nagato went there. He was after Naruto, specifically.



#7 BakeNeko-Chan

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 06:44 PM

Thank you Nate, that gives me a lot to think about and consider.



#8 tricksie

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 07:26 PM

Hey, don't underestimate the Faceless No Jutsu of the Hidden Mook Village. They are quite a populus village if you go by fanfic standards. They may be taken down in battle, but the village just keeps churning out more and more mooks.

 

 

:chuckle:



#9 BakeNeko-Chan

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Posted 01 April 2014 - 07:19 PM

Yup, back again, only with a different topic for advice this time.

I've never written any kind of fight scene before, so I feel a bit stuck on how to approach it. It's a little outside my comfort zone to be honest, but I don't want to just avoid it simply because it's new territory and if any of you writers out there can maybe give me some tips that would be great. :smile:



#10 Konohakitten

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Posted 01 April 2014 - 07:25 PM

Yup, back again, only with a different topic for advice this time.

I've never written any kind of fight scene before, so I feel a bit stuck on how to approach it. It's a little outside my comfort zone to be honest, but I don't want to just avoid it simply because it's new territory and if any of you writers out there can maybe give me some tips that would be great. :smile:

 

I'm currently writing a big fight scene myself and I personally secretly fear them too. What always helps me is watching actual fight scenes from Naruto. Or I'll ask my husband to play some of the Naruto games so that I can see the moves. Once I see which ones I want to use it's easier to describe the fight. I hope this helps.


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#11 tricksie

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 02:33 PM

/\ I'm currently writing a fight scene too! lol

 

So, I definitely second what KonohaKitten said! I watch anything with fight scenes. The Bourne Identity series (all of them); Electra with Jennifer Garner and Cat Woman in the most recent Batman (for girls); some of Keanu Reeves movies' (Matrix, and some of his other action ones), the last two Star Treks and some of the most recent Tom Cruise movies. Basically any sci-fi-ish movie with good fight scenes.

 

And truthfully, I don't watch too many realistic ones (although I'm a die-hard Bruce Lee fan), because the fight scenes I want to write are action-packed, one-sided, over-the-top, high impact ones. So the adrenaline pumping fights in those movies above work best for me. Lots of high-paced movement, change of scenery and use of available objects. That just doesn't happen in traditional fight movies.

 

Oh yeah, and Daniel Craig as Bond. Crazy-good fight scenes!

 

Second, I think the biggest thing you can do to help any fight scene, big or little, is to make sure the stakes are established. Make sure the reader knows what the main character is fighting for, and especially what will happen if he loses and/or what he stands to lose. That makes each punch, each kick, each smack, that much more excruciating, without you having to write a bunch of florid description. The reader knows what's at stake. 

 

So I guess what I'm trying to say is it's now just how you choreograph the fight itself but how you frame it for the reader.

 

Another good piece of advice I read was to treat women and short/slight men as more dangerous than the big, thick brawlers. Because women and shorter/slighter men know the deck is stacked against them in a fight, so they are going to go all out. They are more likely to be vicious fighters who give your main character a run for his money (or vice versa if your MC is a girl, she will still be fighting long after others would have given up), than the big guy who pops his knuckles and makes a lot of the threats before he whales on him.

 

Anyway, do a google search or pinterest search for writing fight scenes. There's lots and lots and lots of stuff out there. Some more detailed than others, but you're sure to find something to help you get started. You're definitely not alone in wading into how to write a fight scene that packs a punch!  :th_yeah: lol - I couldn't resist!  :lol:



#12 BakeNeko-Chan

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 06:22 PM

Thanks, Konohakitten and Tricksie for your responses. Some very good advice. :D

 

One of my big concerns in the fight I'll be writing soon (Naruto vs. Pein) is trying to keep things interesting and not just robotically rehash the fight. That's been a challenge for me in general right now until I get past this part and into the divergent storyline I have planned. I could have made things easier for myself and just skipped over all this stuff, but I worried that the story might lose something if I did, so I tried to only choose parts that can work to my advantage in foreshadowing and exploring conflicts and emotions within characters and inserting my own original material where I can. I don't how well I've succeeded, but I've tried.

 

Writing fight scenes seems to present a whole different set challenges though and it's a little intimidating. I'm just trying to not let myself feel too overwhelmed. And I've started another Naruto fic (probably a bad idea while I'm still working on this one, but it just won't leave me alone) that I expect to have a few fight scenes so I'll need to be doing my research. :lol:


Edited by BakeNeko-Chan, 02 April 2014 - 06:24 PM.


#13 somilmish

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 05:43 PM

I am a bad person for even suggesting this, but you could have pein kill kurenai.

The result of this being Shikamaru being disenchanted, and becoming cold. You can have something more (choji killed?) .. this will lead him to go to tobi... meanwhile, you can let nagato live...
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