14 replies to this topic

[AHK]

So I had a second draft of a paper I'm writing for a class due today, and I get to class, and the kid next to me whips out a paper that looks like a friggin' book. I ask him how many pages it is, and this guy says 17 pages (the final draft is supposed to be between 17 and 20 pages). I ask three girls sitting behind me how many pages they have, and they all say 13.

 

At this point I'm just sitting here like this:

 

While these kids wrote encyclopedia's for a draft, I'm sitting here turning in a 6 page second draft. Pretty sure I'm the only one who turned in anything under 10 pages, dunno whether to be proud of my accomplishment or whether I should cry and drown myself in rum

 

Anyway, while laughing at myself internally, I decided to check to see if there was a thread specifically like this where people can just share funny stories and laugh at each others pain a bit. I didn't find one and was inspired to create this. I thought it would be cool to have a thread like this, where you could go specifically to just laugh at something, which really helps after really long days or when you're stressed or down and stuff, or when failure mangaka's release another ridiculously frustrating interview etc. Laughter is the best medicine and all!

 

With that said, anyone else have any of these fail/wtf/awkward moments recently? Or not so recently? Don't be shy!

Edited by AHK, 29 October 2015 - 06:37 PM.

[sushi.]

I was an exchange student and had a guide with English as his 2nd language. He was informing our whole class on an animal in the jungle, and when he started talking about the teeth, he said 'teeths' instead. Everybody just heard 'kittens' ofc and it became a running joke troughout the trip x)

[AHK]

My friend is in a fantasy football league. A couple of weeks ago he was playing one of his friends, and during the week leading up to the game, my friend wrote a keylogger, put it on a usb, went over to his friends house, and got his friend to show him his roster. His friend was unaware that the usb was plugged into the computer, so he didn't know that he basically gave my friend access to his fantasy team.

10 minutes before the game, my friend changed the other guys' lineup and benched all his good players. Even with that, my friend got beat by 35 XD

[narusaku256]

I came drunk on my apartment one fine night and my roommates were all watching a movie. They knew I was drunk real bad. My body language and the things I spoke revealed it all XD They kept asking me stupid questions and making fun of me XD I was seated on my bed and just yelled outta nowhere, "Fuccckkkk you alll you kittens!!!!" and fell flat on my face on my pillow and went to sleep XD

The next day I woke up, I was on my bed, half outside our room XD The only thing inside the main door was the portion of my body below my torso XD The rest half, it was outside XD And just when I opened my eyes, our sweeper was giving me an awkward look XD I woke up in a shock and just glanced everywhere...I was like..."Dafaq!!! Where the hell am I?" And there came one of my roommates saying, "Oh! Good morning! It sure is cold outisde right? I guess you must have slept just fine!" I was like..."The hell dude You just don't do that " and jumped outta my bed and started swearing at them all XD God! They laughed their asses off that day XD

Edited by narusaku256, 30 October 2015 - 11:57 AM.

[sushi.]

^I also have a drunk story , but I didn't get busted. Just almost.

yolo story -

When I was on a school trip on the other side of the world(China) and me and a couple of my friends were out just seeing the town. And then it got late and we saw this nightclub. We weren't allowed to drink at all, and had to be back at the hotel at 11pm. But we went into the club, and I bought one tequila and thought that was enough because I risked getting sent home if the teachers saw me drunk. But we befriended this big group of friends there, and they tried to buy us a lot more, so I was like kitten it. We got drunk and eventually we had to go back to the hotel to check in, but we promised the group we'd be back. I managed to pay off the sober act, but barely. x) After the teachers thought we were gone to sleep, we sneaked out the backdoor ninjastyle, and came back to the same club and we had some more drinks with our new friends. I wanted to leave not too late, but my friends stayed out all night actually. So it's their fail moment! XD I had to help them the next morning, they had like the worst hangover and couldn't wake up, and that was the day that we going home. The trip back - the train, air port, plane, and everything was kinda stressful to say the least.

 

When you're going out drinking, you'll do better if you have one friend that is not completely wasted. I think I got busted in the end tho, because the backdoor we used on the way out was closed when I got back, so I had to go to the front. Some of my classmates were out smoking, and it's obvious to me now that they noticed. And also my other friends and my roommate, but whatevs they weren't teachers

Edited by sushi., 30 October 2015 - 09:07 PM.

[Anthony]

I have one drunk story as well to tell, cringe alert boys n girls

 

So basically it happened this summer, we gathered at a friend's place and the host poured us some glasses of wine if I recall correctly. Fast forwarding a few minutes, he brought a second bottle of red wine and they had each drunk one glass while I kittening sneaked out and drunk it by myself (pretty sure we had some vodka before all that as well, and I ate a lot of stuff as well; those didn't mix with eachother at all) Halfway through being wasted as kitten, I remember spilling the wine glass over my tee shirt and I was like, well kitten. The next thing I know I start kitten talking everybody and they made me rest in my friend's room. They didn't drank too much so they were okayish, but I was a goner at that moment. They were laughing so damn hard and then they went back to the living room to chill. Well, here comes the bad part, I tried sitting up but I immediately fell on my back and I had the sudden urge to throw up; hence why I wanted to stand up. As soon as I tried walking once again I fell and I threw up on my buddy's bed. They rushed so fast when they heard me and carried me to the bathroom, made me sit on my knees and instructed me to throw up in the toilet. Guess what? Even when I was literally hugging the toilet I still missed it and they took me outside. God, thank kitten the apps block has an elevator because I wouldn't have been able to go down the stairs, honestly. We stayed outside for 5 to 10 minutes and I couldn't vomit so I spat out as much as I could and tried to breathe as much cold air as I could. It was a hard task to stay awake, nevertheless. As soon as we entered the apartment I directly went to the bathroom and started throwing up again. I then blacked out and then woke up one hour later in the kittening bathtub, window opened and I remember telling my friend that was trying to take care of me that I felt really cold and that my back hurt. The host friend then came in and told me to suck it up because I am a spoiled retard and that I shouldn't drink like that.
When we had to go in the morning, my friend told me that I kept on blabbering stuff the entire night and I was insulting them a lot. That aside, there was a newly formed couple that I didn't really like so I started kittening them and then asked the girl if she does anal. Nonetheless, my homies had one of the best laughs in their lives!

Edited by tonyblu, 10 November 2015 - 11:26 PM.

[sushi.]

so many words here are changed to kitten lol x)

 

anyway, this isn't a drunk story, but I was going out the other day and I thought I saw my mom across the street. But it wasn't her, just an old stranger. When I saw her, I yelled "OH NOOO! Not you!" and looked straight at her, because my mom is sorta embarassing in public. I just tried to play it cool

 

In my defense it was dark outside.

[narusaku256]

Funny how the best laughter stories happen when people are drunk I have loads to share

So there was this one night where me and friends planned for a house party at my friend's bunglow. It's like...8 kms from where I live. I had returned home from my Uni for vacations and was seeing my buds after like...4 months straight. So knowing me real well, my buds knew what I needed to hit it running XD So they were like, "We are planning a house party at xyz's bunglow and you....yes you god forsaken m otherf ucker, you are coming!" I was like...atleast let me confirm whether I don't have any other plans XD But they were all like...we don't care bro...you are hanging out with us today. Keep those plans for tomorrow. So I finally agreed(Well, how couldn't I?) XD

We set off at around 10 in the night, brought all the stuff that we needed. And it seemed to me that they really had planned some serious s hit! You name it and we had it(No drugs btw) One of my friends, he is an EDM artist and #1 in the city at that. Even he had brought his console to play along. THAT FREAKIN' BUNGLOW WAS STUFFED WITH EVERY DAMN THING NEEDED FOR A PARTY! The moment we arrived at the bunglow, I was like, "We are in for some serious s hit! Let's get wasted tonight! We f uckin' own it today!!!!! Let's make this kitten...count! No holds barred!!!" We knew we are gonna have one heck of an hangover the next day XD After setting it all up, we started the party at around 11:30 or so...and BOOM! We hit it! We were like, 8 people btw

We were all so kittenin' drunk we had no clue what was going on but yet, we still continued drinking, continued dancing and playing fifa, poker(No real money) and stuff XD until when we noticed one of our friends was missing. I just asked one of my friends, "Dude! Seen this guy in a while?" And he was like, "No kitten! Go look for him on the terrace. He might have crashed there drinking XD Oh! And both of you, make sure you guys don't fall off! And especially you. With all your antics after you get drunk, I am sure you'd think you are flying and off you go from the terrace!" I just looked up the terrace and he wasn't there...I searched every room in the house and he was nowhere to be found. I told all of 'em and then we began the hunt. All rooms checked, guy is still missing. So we just encountered a washroom which was locked from inside. We all were pretty sure it'd be him. We banged the door, no response. Screamed his name, still nothing. So we just told our owner-friend to bring the keys and unlock the washroom. He unlocked it, we went inside and there He was! That guy....he was sleeping on the toilet seat, puking once in a while and when I went to wake him up, he was like, "Oh! Am I dead already? Is it heaven? But wait....how come you are here then? If you are here then I am pretty sure it ain't heaven!" I was like, "This m otherf ucker is going to pay for this " and all my friends laughed their asses off We carried him outside and put him on bed. And the best part was, he joined us again after 1 hour High as f uck but still The house party ended at around 9 in the morning and then we all went home and slept. Gosh! The hangover was too much to handle

Edited by narusaku256, 22 November 2015 - 11:41 AM.

[Lid]

Yeah I have plenty of drunken stories, one I remember fairly well happened in my first year at Minnesota State. My roommate and I went across the river to Fargo, N.D. to a street called Broadway which has a bunch of bars lining the street. It's kind of the major party section for the college students in that metro area. We decided to go to one of the bars and my friend unfortunately decided to get a couple pitchers of Coors Light (which I can't stand)  .

 

Regardless, I start chugging and we were there most of the night. Things were OK until I started getting up to leave. Started feeling woozy, not too great. We walk out the door and as soon as I get to the exit I start to stumble and throw up onto the sidewalk. It didn't stop, I stumbled to the side of the building and it continued. 

 

So my roommate and another friend helps me into a car, but before going back to the dorms they decide to stop at Taco Bell.   We get inside and there I was, hanging on to the porcelain throne at Taco Bell puking. Not one of my proud moments. Eventually after they got some tacos, we went back to the dorms, roommate helped me to my bed and I passed out. 

 

Yeah, drinking is fun woo.

[Hanabi]

once i got my butt stuck in a folding chair and my dad had to help me out.

 

another time i was going to ride a reverse bungee ride, that would shoot up in the air like a catapult

 

like this 

 

i was so hyped for the ride that i couldn't eat or drink beforehand. and when it was our turn, the attendants asked us to place our shoes in the shoe box.. my mind was blank as i stood inside the shoe box... they all laughed at me...

Edited by Hanabi, 30 November 2015 - 05:00 PM.

[Anthony]

if somebody wants to dwelve into the new year's stories, I'm in

[sushi.]

I called my boss' mom fat on accident. He was like 'so you know x, right?' so I said 'oh you mean that blonde fat lady on my highschool?'
And I didnt mean anything negative by that, I don't think the f-word should be an insult, I was just trying to confirm the right person For the whole day, he picked on me and made me take out the trash and other kitten things.

Edit; it's monday and he's still picking on me. xD

Edited by sushi., 11 January 2016 - 04:19 PM.

[narusaku256]

I called my boss' mom fat on accident. He was like 'so you know x, right?' so I said 'oh you mean that blonde fat lady on my highschool?'
And I didnt mean anything negative by that, I don't think the f-word should be an insult, I was just trying to confirm the right person For the whole day, he picked at me and made me take out the trash and other kitten things.

You deserved that JK XD

[trang95]

Not really a story about me, but my parents:

You always hear about those insane Asian parent tropes, right? Older Asian women can't drive. Eating spaghetti with chopsticks. Asians letting their kids become anything they want (hat is doctor, lawyer, or engineer) and blablabla. I always thought my parents belonged the more normal spectrum. Guess I was wrong -.-

A few days ago, our dog Mina was sick and had some really, REALLY bad diarrhea. So my father and mother took a quick trip to PetCo to buy some medicine for our dog. When they came back, they said that didn't purchase any medicine and would be waiting for the doctor to arrive at the store tomorrow b/c "da vet is too expensive, my dear." I was like, "fine, do whatever you want." A little bit later, I saw my dad rolling some rice and sausage into a ball around a  green tablet. "I thought you didn't buy any medicine for Mina", I said. But when I took a quick look at the container with the green tablets, I saw some Vietnamese instructions on there... Turns out it was some stomach pain medicine for humans that my parents bought for very cheap on their last trip to Vietnam- cause, why not? That's gonna work, right? Sure... I was asking my dad if he was out of his mind, but he was like:" Geez, if the medicine works for humans, it's gonna work on animals, too. What's the difference? We both eat, digest, and poop. Everyone knows that! It's common sense!"

Yeah, cause the last time I took anatomy and biology humans and dogs were still two different species with two different stomachs. I dunno about you guys, but once my parents have decided on something, they go through with it as if their freaking lives depended on it. Needless to say, my dog ate the whole thing. Had to stop my parents from giving Mina a second tablet right after the first one or else they'd drug her to death for all I know. I was trying to see what kind of ingredients were in there- oh wait, it was in Vietnamese, and my reading and writing skills for that language might teleport me back all the way to elementary school.

 

Well, the good thing is, our dog is ok, now. She eats, drinks, runs, and poops three times a nicely.

 

Sorry, if I've ruined anyone's appetite, but my parents' common sense just really surprises me sometimes.

Edited by trang95, 11 January 2016 - 04:30 AM.

[narusaku256]

if somebody wants to dwelve into the new year's stories, I'm in

You can always share your stories

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On a side note, all this place lacks is a small campfire in the middle, so logs around that to sit upon, starry sky with the moon gleaming it's white light and some remote area/a forest! One hell of a set to share such stories!

Edited by narusaku256, 11 January 2016 - 11:28 AM.