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Alternative endings?


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#21 Win-chan

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Posted 13 November 2014 - 06:57 AM

I have a few Naruto fanfics. I only have one right now that is alternate ending. I'm planning on writing two AE fics, one that takes place after 699 and is probably just going to be a little shorty (IDK man, maybe it'll be a one-shot collection or something) and then another one that takes place after 700 and basically tries to fix everything Kishi screwed up. So the characters are kinda OOC, but it's only because Kishi screwed them up so much and I'm attempting to be true to the character/screwed up character etc. 

 

AE fic (starts out kinda depressing but it'll change):  https://www.fanficti...819696/1/Undone

Cute one-shot: https://www.fanficti...xy-Jutsu-Fiasco


SHINACHIKU

 

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#22 Smiter

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Posted 13 November 2014 - 11:07 AM

is there a way to post a story online here, without just putting a link like to fanfiction for exemple?

 

You can try making your own story blog:smile:

 

 

If anyone starts on one, post it here please :o I'm totally ready to read anything that's not OOC Kishi's.

 

Oh, same here.  It took me some time to work my way through all the shock, confusion and anger at Kishimoto's terrible ending, but now I'm ready to read and write fanfics again.  I hope I can begin work on my own AE fanfic this weekend.

 

A story that lasted 15 years and hooked so many people really deserved a better ending than what it got.



#23 Paperman

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Posted 13 November 2014 - 12:06 PM

Anybody who wants to write an alternative, please post it (or the link) here. I will gladly read and review. 
 
I also found this story by 'the general girl'. The writing is very well-done. It's an ending to an ending.

 

https://www.fanficti.../amo-amas-amant


Edited by Paperman, 13 November 2014 - 12:06 PM.


#24 LuckyChi7

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Posted 13 November 2014 - 08:56 PM

Here is my alternative take on 699, if  you guys want me to write an alternative version of chapter 700, just let me know: 

 

 

https://www.fanficti...e-of-A-Lifetime


Edited by LuckyChi7, 13 November 2014 - 08:56 PM.

4e26f1bc8d604925166ad9bb2f431f5cc8eb6385

 

 

THAT'S WHAT HEROES DO, THEY SAVE PEOPLE!!


#25 Konohakitten

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Posted 13 November 2014 - 09:11 PM

I decided I would rewrite chapter 699, the OOC moments needed to be fixed. I'm not sure if I'll tackle 700 since I still have a bad taste in my mouth when I think about it, but who knows. Also this probably won't be on my FF.net account. I'm not going to put myself in the position were I'll get unwanted hate, maybe I'll post it later on once everything dies down. Until then you all can enjoy it here.


 

 

What could have been

Edited by Konohakitten, 13 November 2014 - 10:00 PM.

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#26 NaruSaku fan in Kentucky

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Posted 13 November 2014 - 09:27 PM

I decided I would rewrite chapter 699, the OOC moments needed to be fixed. I'm not sure if I'll tackle 700 since I still have a bad taste in my mouth when I think about it, but who knows. Also this probably won't be on my FF.net account. I'm not going to put myself in the position were I'll get unwanted hate, maybe I'll post it later on once everything dies down. Until then you all can enjoy it here.[/size]

Sakura's eyes filled with tears when she saw the condition of her two teammates, neither one of them was moving, and there was blood splatter carelessly on the floor. She stumbled towards them in a frenzy, but no matter how fast she tried to run it seemed like reaching them would never happen. She skid along the floor and without haste she started to heal what was left of their arms. She couldn't believe what they had done to one another, the two of them were simply ridiculous at times. A weak gasp for air and cough suddenly caught her attention. She turned to look over at Naruto who was starting to open his eyes. He slowly turned his head towards her direction and smiled. Her eyes widen, how could he be smile at a time like this?[/size]

"Thanks Sakura-chan, I'm sorry about all this. I don't want you to think that I don't listen to you when you give me lectures on getting hurt. I know I can be careless, and I know that I'm not an ideal patient, but I have my reasons."[/size]

"..."[/size]

'I'll never forget the the scolding you gave me when I broke my arm while using my Fūton Rasenshuriken for the first time on Kakuzu, you and Baa-chan we're ready to add more broken bones to my body, but I don't blame you. I know I can difficult."[/size]

"That's an understatement Naruto," muttered Sakura.[/size]

"I know, but hey look I can make it up to you."[/size]

"By doing what?!" Snapped Sakura, "By bleeding to death?!"[/size]

Naruto winced at the sound of her tone.[/size]

"Sakura-chan why do you have to be so mean? I'm missing part of my arm for crying out loud," whined Naruto.[/size]

"You have yourself to blame Naruto."[/size]

"Come on Sakura-chan, you can’t be mad at me, especially since I finally did it."[/size]

"Did what you idiot?!"[/size]

"I kept my promise, I brought Sasuke back," beamed Naruto.[/size]

Sakura froze when she heard those words. That sentence was one she never thought she’d hear. Her mind replayed that faithful day so many years ago when she placed such a huge burden on Naruto’s shoulders. Yet he smiled and reassured her that he would indeed keep his word. He would keep that promise to bring Sasuke back to her, it was his promise of a lifetime. Sakura remained silent, she didn't know what to say. Instead she reluctantly looked over to Sasuke who was now looking right at her. His stone cold eyes were tired, and defeated. The hatred that emanated from them was nowhere in sight now, but Sakura wasn't about to let her guard down.[/size]

“Sakura I..”[/size]

“Stop talking, I need to concentrate.”[/size]

“....”[/size]

Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, and the emotions that were consuming her were overwhelming. However she did her best to push everything a side. She needed to make sure that these two did indeed survive.[/size]

Infinite tsukuyomi was released and the entire shinobi world was greeted with victory. Some rejoiced, while others tried to grasp the fact that the reality they were shown was just a dream, Hinata was one of them. She looked over at Naruto who was talking with his team. She sighed as she remembered what she had been shown a few moment ago, and it saddened her. Even though the day was saved she couldn't help but feel alone. Before she could put much more thought into it she felt someones arm around wrap around her and she was brought closer into Kiba’s side hug.[/size]

“Keh just look at Naruto will ya Hinata. How in the world is he gonna be Hokage with just one arm?”[/size]

“Naruto has only lost part of his arm Kiba and even then I’m sure he can still beat you.”[/size]

“What the hell Shino?! I thought we were on the same team,” snapped Kiba[/size]

“We are.”[/size]

“Then why the hell are you being such a jerk?”[/size]

“I’m not being a jerk, I’m just pointing out a fact.”[/size]

“God you're unbelievable,” muttered Kiba. “I’m still going to be Hokage though, mark my words.”[/size]

“I believe you Kiba-kun,” whispered Hinata.[/size]

“You see now this is what a teammate, and a friend does Shino.”[/size]

“A friend shouldn't lie just to make their comrade feel happy, I’m actually doing you a favor by…”[/size]

“Yeah yeah yeah whatever Shino.”[/size]

Hinata smiled as her two teammates continued to argue. To others it would seem that they were indeed fighting, but Hinata knew better. It was just playful banter, and as strange as it sounds it always made her feel safe. She couldn't help but remembered how Neji made her feel and now she had the opportunity to make sure that his death wasn't in vain. With her teams help she would become even stronger so that she could uphold and lead her clan into a time of equality and peace.[/size]

Over the next few days everyone tried to pick up where they left off. It took Naruto and everyone from Konoha a few days to return back home, but the journey was well worth it. It was good to finally be home. However there were those who never got to see their loved ones coming home, the war did indeed claim so many. The amount of funerals and services seemed never ending. All the rookies paid their respects to their fallen comrade Neji and all of them showed Hinata that she was not alone.[/size]

Sakura and Kakashi stood outside the gates of the village. Sasuke had been pardon by Konoha but he wasn't safe from those who chose to capture him. With that said he decided to wander the land so that he could learn how to look at life in a different way. Sakura felt awkward, she wasn't sure what to tell him, but she indeed had to tell him something, she had no idea when she’d see him next. Instead of telling him how she felt she decided to try and stall.[/size]

“Sasuke-kun you can’t leave just yet. Tsunade-sama is almost done constructing your new arm.”[/size]

“I shouldn't stay any longer,I need to get going. Thanks for everything Kakashi.”[/size]

Sasuke started to turn to leave and Sakura could see that it was now or never.[/size]

“Wait Sasuke-kun I wanted to tell you that I …”[/size]

“I don’t love you Sakura,” said Sasuke. He slowly turned around so that he could face the girl who was always following him. He looked at with those eyes of his, and Sakura couldn’t help but crumble.[/size]

She started to cry, it was so childish but it’s all she could do. Kakashi winced when he saw what was unfolding before him and he slowly backed away to give both his former students some privacy.[/size]

“Sasuke-kun….” [/size]

“I meant what I said Sakura, I never loved you, at least not the way you loved me. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about, that’s not true. You’re my teammate, my friend, and you're part of my family. I severed my bonds Sakura, I thought they made me weak, but I was wrong. The way I felt about you, Naruto, and Kakashi made me strong, not weak, unfortunately  I learned that a little too late. I’m sorry for everything, but words really can’t mend all the wrong that I’ve done. You need to let me go, even I know that I’m not good for you, nor do I deserve you.[/size]

“....”[/size]

“I’ll be seeing you later Sakura, oh and do me a favor will ya.”[/size]

“....”[/size]

“The next time Naruto asks you out for Ramen, go with the idiot, ok. Unlike me he loves you, and he does deserve you.”[/size]

With that said Sasuke left and even though tears were running down Sakura’s face she some how felt a little bit lighter. She watched as Sasuke and Naruto shared a few words. She noticed Naruto handing Sasuke something and the sun made the object shine. It was then that she knew what it was that Naruto had handed him, and she felt that it was very fitting. After that Sasuke left and Naruto made his way towards Sakura. Together they watched Sasuke walk further and further away.[/size]

“He really is a jerk,” said Naruto. “Just look at him trying to be all dramatic with this exit of his.”[/size]

“Yeah well I don’t think he’d have it any other way.”[/size]

“I guess, but it always makes him look like a show off.”[/size]

“....”[/size]

“So are you ok?”[/size]

“I think so, why?”[/size]

“You’ve got dry tears on your cheeks, did Sasuke make you cry?”[/size]

“Yes, but I needed to hear what he had to say to me.”[/size]

“I don’t get it, you wanted him to make you cry Sakura-chan?”[/size]

“No you goof, I needed him to tell me that he never loved me, at least not like how I loved him.”[/size]

“Oh...I’m sorry Sakura-chan.”[/size]

“It’s alright Naruto, Sasuke-kun gave me closure. I finally know now how he really feels about me, and now I can move on with my life.”[/size]

“So you’re alright then?”[/size]

“Yeah I am,” said Sakura as she smiled at Naruto. She took Naruto's hand into her hers and interlaced her fingers with his. Naruto blushed as he watched her. “Come on Naruto lets go.”[/size]

“Where are we going?”[/size]

“Well we have a few hours to kill before your procedure with Tsunade-sama so I’d figure we’d go get something to eat.”[/size]

“Oh alright but, I um, don’t have any money on me. Carrying my wallet around during the war was pretty pointless,” laughed Naruto nervously.[/size]

“It’s alright Naruto it’s my treat. I’m sure Teuchi and Ayame are going to be thrilled to see their favorite customer.”[/size]

“We’re eating at Ramen Ichiraku? Really?”[/size]

“Yeah I mean you did save the world after all. I think it’s only fitting that you get to eat at your favorite restaurant.”[/size]

“That’s awesome, but I have a problem. I’m right handed Sakura-chan and I..”[/size]

“I’ll feed you you idiot, now come on.”[/size]

“Thanks Sakura-chan.”[/size]
“No, thank you Naruto, for everything,” said Sakura as she gently squeezed Naruto’s hand.[/size]
 
 
Why was an ending like this so hard Kishi?! No romantic ending, just everyone being in character, and loose ends being closed.
f5657ea6e8a5225a9c0c692817d5bf5c-micdrop That was beautiful. Damn these onions.

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#27 JG111580

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Posted 24 November 2014 - 03:21 AM

Alright, nearly finished. I only have edit and link the beginning to the original narrative and it will be complete. It starts around 662. I have 50 typed pages right now. Anybody have any suggestions for the best way to post it? I would like to do it a piece at a time to build suspense and not burn anyone out.  



#28 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 24 November 2014 - 03:37 AM

Alright, nearly finished. I only have edit and link the beginning to the original narrative and it will be complete. It starts around 662. I have 50 typed pages right now. Anybody have any suggestions for the best way to post it? I would like to do it a piece at a time to build suspense and not burn anyone out.  

A piece at a time sounds good :)






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