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#81 Paradox Jast

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Posted 08 March 2010 - 01:35 PM

Yep, and I replied! =P


I had to go to work though, so I kinda lost track of which reviews I replied to and which I didn't...

#82 tricksie

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Posted 08 March 2010 - 02:27 PM

Read your story and luv it! Don't get too bummed about the high view count but lack of reviews.

It is really hard to get people to act on anything - reading is easy, reviewing is hard. A rule of thumb (don't know who's thumb!) is something like less than 10 percent of any group will be the ones participating, making decisions and generally keeping things going. The other 90 is along for the ride.

So take heart. Though some days it may not feel like, you're still at the top of the pile. You have fans who await your writing, and an outlet where you can reach as many people as you like. And as a reader, when I see a review count of 600+, I know it's got to be good. There is so much on fanfic that I don't read - that I see your story, and a very few of the others, as an oasis.

Also, thanks again for your critique of my little fanfic a month or two ago. I've reworked a lot of it, focused more on show, not tell, added tons of descriptives, and I hope to be posting it soon.


.....And why haven't I reviewed yours - or anybody's - yet? Just now found out I didn't have to be logged in to review. Duh. I honestly thought you would have to have an account to be able to review, so I never even tried. Just figured I'd have to click through a login screen.

Hmmmm, now perhaps it's meant to encourage non-authors to review, but it opens the door to flames, trolls, etc., nasty people who will hide behind their anonymity. Plus you could really manipulate your review count that way (which I wonder is what is going on when I read a terrible story with a high review count).

Writing online is a tricky thing. On one hand you get instant feedback, good and bad. On the other hand, you also get to see how many looked, and for how long. That's pretty damn frustrating. Did they like it? Not like it? Yeah, I could go on and on. At any rate, getting a reader or a user involved in your creation is one of the hardest things a writer or designer will ever face. And every single one does. It's sucks, but you're not alone.

Maybe strive for quality reviews over quantity. Move from black-and-white page counts to a more structured review system. Ask your readers specific questions about your work and see what they respond to. Is the character dark; is the pacing ok; do you think a character would...? Even if you have it already planned out, throw it out there for readers to chew on. Build in a little quiz - if a reader can guess something you've drawn on for inspiration or are going to be adding to upcoming chapters, you'll send them a preview of the next chapter. Yeah, a little gimicky, but if it was a story I loved, I'd be down with it.

One last thing, I remember you posting you worked in a bookstore. I've been reading Julia Cameron's "Right to Write." It is the best book as far as moving past creative blocks that I've ever seen. I think it's one of those magical books that becomes different things to different people. Check it out - she talks specifically about why we write, that ultimately we do it for ourselves alone. It's easy to get lost from that creative wellspring in the vast vaccuum of the internet.

all the best ~ keep up the great work!

#83 Paradox Jast

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Posted 08 March 2010 - 03:15 PM

Yeah, I've been thinking about a lot of the things you mentioned. Then again, I've been thinking quite a lot about reviews and what exactly they mean. But I don't really think I'd be writing if I didn't feel that others enjoyed my work. Writing makes me feel... productive, in a way. It's the sort of productivity that isn't limiting, either. No one can tell me when to stop, I'm the master of my domain.

I'm glad to hear you're working on your story. Sometimes even the smallest critique or suggestion can go a really long way when writing a story. But another thing I've learned from the reviews I recently received... I think the way you write determines the kind of crowd you're likely to attract. Proper sentence structure, grammar, good descriptions, a plot that flows... those things will get you the more 'cultured' readers. I can't think of another way to describe it without insulting anyone. lol

That's not to say even the uh... juvenile? can't enjoy the story...

As for reviewing anonymously... You can only leave anon reviews on fics for authors that allow them. Some authors do not. Of course there will be those that will flame, even I've gotten several, though mine have been rather mild in my opinion. But there is also the option for an author to delete a review if it is blatantly ignorant or disrespectful.

I used to do polls for the story, but I gradually weaned away from doing it. The adding Kushina poll completely changed the dynamic for the fic and what I had originally planned, especially when people started telling me they were reading the fic because they wanted to see more of her! Again, what I have learned from reviews is that I probably have one of, if not the best written Kushina in any story anyone has ever read.

I had mentioned that I was going to have her fade a little more into the background a few chapters ago... I'm still recovering from that backlash. tongue.gif

All that said... I'm completely flabbergasted by the responses I've received so far. Even the tongue-lashings about my begging have been rather mild compared to what I was fully expecting to receive.

Now... I'm more humbled than anything else. My 'beg' paid off better than I ever thought it would... and it got lurkers to leave me messages that have given me plenty more ideas to boot.



As for that book, I'll definitely look to see if we have it on our shelves when I go into work tonight. Thanks for the recommendation.

#84 Insurrection

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Posted 09 March 2010 - 01:48 AM

Stories like yours deserve the number of reviews you get, 661 is a lot. People like what you write because this story has a flow, it's really good. I'll come out to saying though I haven't reviewed your story because I'm just lazy. The whole reviewer subject is confusing to me because you could read a story that seems great but only has 8 reviews and then you can read one with bad grammar and spelling and it could have over 500. Sometimes it makes you as an author wonder, but to me, you don't have that problem.

#85 tricksie

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Posted 09 March 2010 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE (Paradox Jast @ Mar 8 2010, 04:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But I don't really think I'd be writing if I didn't feel that others enjoyed my work. Writing makes me feel... productive, in a way. It's the sort of productivity that isn't limiting, either.


Yup. At the end of the day, I feel great if I've written something (or drawn something, I should say as well). There are lots of things that I could do with my time. But if I use those hours creating a new little story, as opposed to watching a movie, I feel so fulfilled. It makes you want to write more!


QUOTE
I'm glad to hear you're working on your story. Sometimes even the smallest critique or suggestion can go a really long way when writing a story. But another thing I've learned from the reviews I recently received... I think the way you write determines the kind of crowd you're likely to attract. Proper sentence structure, grammar, good descriptions, a plot that flows... those things will get you the more 'cultured' readers. I can't think of another way to describe it without insulting anyone. lol


Good writing gives you a credibility that you won't miss till it's gone. And that credibility comes from proper grammer, sentence structure, etc. (Imagine if you read a newspaper article and it was full of typos. If the editing was that slack, then you probably wouldn't put too much faith in the content either.) So yeah - it's not insulting. Good stories attract good reviewers. Anybody can write a crummy story, it takes time and patience and *gasp* hard work to write something worthwhile. And ultimately you have to love what your doing to stick with it.

QUOTE
I used to do polls for the story, but I gradually weaned away from doing it. The adding Kushina poll completely changed the dynamic for the fic and what I had originally planned, especially when people started telling me they were reading the fic because they wanted to see more of her! Again, what I have learned from reviews is that I probably have one of, if not the best written Kushina in any story anyone has ever read.


That's interesting. I could see how a heavy push for a certain character could cause you to move from your vision for the story. An unexpected benefit if it works out, or an unexpected snag if you end up hating the character or plot afterwards. But what a great look into how people are receiving your story (sounds like it was the unexpected benefit side of the double-edged sword!), and now you have this wonderful dynamic which is so rarely featured! And it is a great story, that aspect is just an added benefit.

QUOTE
As for that book, I'll definitely look to see if we have it on our shelves when I go into work tonight. Thanks for the recommendation.


Cool - I've been reading it chapter by chapter, here and there, and it really recharges your creative battery. I had been wrestling with the "Why am i doing this?" part of writing, and the book really speaks to that part of you as an author. It says "Shutup. Just keep doing it!" lol

#86 catsi563

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Posted 09 March 2010 - 06:13 PM

on the note of Kushinas appearance. i too would like to see more of her. but that doesnt mean I want to see her every second paragraph either.

your portrayal of Kushina is one of the better ones ive read, andshould be continued and now imho has become an integral part of the story. I would hate to see her fade into the background which to me would be a sign of laziness.

its a balancing act that a writer needs to do with a character like hers. where you need to make the most of a characters appearances without overexposing them, and not let a good character with a lot of potential fade into the background.

the quality of kushinas appearances is what would be important for me.
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#87 Hak

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Posted 14 March 2010 - 06:49 PM

PJ, I started to wonder if you have an updated map of WPC available somewhere?
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#88 Paradox Jast

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Posted 15 March 2010 - 04:13 AM

Nah, there is no updated one yet. I've been meaning to work on it, buuuuuut yeah. I keep getting sidetracked, among other things. lol

I'll see about getting a new one out sometime in the near future.

#89 ShippudenGirl

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Posted 15 March 2010 - 11:33 AM

No updates? shamefulcry0js.gif I can't wait... I love your story! ^*

#90 Chesh

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Posted 15 March 2010 - 01:31 PM

I'm refusing to follow your story on FF.net. (Mainly due to it being blocked at work and i want to read the updated version.)

So i am extremely grateful that you have uploaded it to our Library here.

I'm not reading on FF because i prefer the waiting and the anticipation of whats going to happen each chapter. I'm only at what Chapter 15 and i think youve written 26 Chapters on FF. However it want this story to last me a while.

I look forward to your next update in the Library.
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#91 Paradox Jast

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 04:01 PM

Ack, sorry sorry, got caught up playing FFXIII for a few days. Whoopsie.

But I'm back and continuing work on the next chapter.

I'll post up the rest of the story in the library here when the edits on chapter 16 and 17 are done. Then all the big edits will be complete! Wheeee....

#92 ShippudenGirl

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Posted 20 March 2010 - 10:25 PM

wow.png Yay!

#93 Paradox Jast

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Posted 20 March 2010 - 10:30 PM

Chapter 27 is done, and sent to Denim to beta. Should have it posted later tonight if he can get to it. If not, then tomorrow night at the latest. I'll also be posting review replies (kinda like a Q&A) as well as 'further information' about WPC. The AU setting, world, characters, political climate, stuff like that. I'm working on the next map, but with my horrid skills, who knows when that will get done.

#94 ShippudenGirl

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Posted 20 March 2010 - 10:54 PM

QUOTE (Paradox Jast @ Mar 20 2010, 11:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Chapter 27 is done, and sent to Denim to beta. Should have it posted later tonight if he can get to it. If not, then tomorrow night at the latest. I'll also be posting review replies (kinda like a Q&A) as well as 'further information' about WPC. The AU setting, world, characters, political climate, stuff like that. I'm working on the next map, but with my horrid skills, who knows when that will get done.


Yay!... Again 111189.gif

I wanna read it D:

*cough* Wanna give a little sample of the chapter *cough* pictureem0.gif Sorry, so so curious xD

#95 Paradox Jast

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Posted 20 March 2010 - 11:05 PM

Don't read if you don't wanna know! Ch 27 --Click here to view--
The woman with dark purple hair frowned, and leaned back in her chair as she folded her arms under her chest. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to Sakura... or your mother about this before you go asking others for help?"

Naruto slowly turned his piercing gaze on her, and it sent chills down her spine. Her first thought was that it looked haunted, but eventually chalked that up to the way the bright moonlight played about his face, making his blue eyes seem like they were glowing. Upon further consideration, she realized that he was simply giving her one of his serious looks.

"I already tried to talk to Sakura-chan, but like I said... she told me to wait and see if anything else happens. With how friendly Natsumi-chan was to her, though... she's probably surprised about it and still trying to come up with her own answers. As for my mom, I was planning on talking to her again, after I forget what she said earlier. I don't know if she was being serious or playing around. Sometimes it's hard to tell."

Yuugao found herself chuckling, and Naruto frowned at her briefly before turning to look out the window once again.

"So the Fire Princess is all over you because of that mission? I remember you telling me about it... but you didn't seem annoyed by her antics then."

Naruto shrugged, but didn't reply. Yuugao could tell by how brief and tight the shrug he gave was that he had more on his mind than he was letting on. Naruto's body language, she found out long ago, was very easy to read. Seeing that he was leaning forward slightly and his side was exposed, she smirked a little. Reaching her hand forward, she lightly dragged her fingers along the side of his abdomen. He was only wearing his mesh shirt, so she got the desired response. He immediately shot straight up in his seat, then turned and gave her an exp​ression that was a mix between a scowl and a grin, as if he couldn't decide which he wanted to do.

As far as Yuugao knew, she was the only one who knew that Naruto was ticklish, and where his ticklish spot was. It worked wonders when he was younger, and apparently still worked now.

"Come onnnn Naruto-kuuuun. Tell your oneechan everything. You know how much I love gossip! I promise I won't tell Sakura-chan."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her antics. "You won't?"

Yuugao looked away from him, and made it so that when she crossed her fingers he could see it easily. "Nope, not a word to anyone, especially Sakura-chan."

After hearing her brother figure let out an exaggerated sigh, she giggled and turned to look at him once again. He was pouting at her, as he usually did before he opened up.


#96 ShippudenGirl

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Posted 20 March 2010 - 11:10 PM

Owwweeeee!!!! I'm so curious now! wow.png

He-he, what did Naruto-kun do? pictureem0.gif Oh how that "Princess" annoys me, makes me think of my sister. Can-not-wait! He-he sorry I'm hooked on your fanfic heheelq7.png

#97 Paradox Jast

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 01:33 AM

Review Q&A:

I apologize in advance for leaving some of these vague, but I think it can be understood why I have to. These answers are being posted after the posting of Chapter 26. Chapter 27 will be posted this weekend.

Q: Harem?

A: Short answer, no. Long answer - Watch out for Natsumi. She'll be a bit thorny in both Naruto's and Sakura's side, but there may be a rose there somewhere. Natsumi has been planned from way back, so she's not a recent development as many might think. (Hint: Check out Chapter 6 again if you forgot. A year and a half ago!)


Q: Blue-haired Cloud nin? Moar?

A: She'll reappear eventually, yes. With much more details as well. I doubt you'd tell a random potential enemy your name if you weren't asked, would you? Let's just say she's crazy intelligent but good at acting innocent, which will eventually be found out.


Q: Why can Naruto kill without seemingly feeling any remorse?

A: It will be explained (or at least partially explained) in one of the upcoming chapters, full explanation will happen later than that.


Q: Naruto/Kakashi interaction?

A: Yes, though there will probably be more small scenes than big ones. Kakashi makes for a good 'comedic relief' character because of his nonchalant attitude about most things. But he does know how to take things seriously as well, which is good when Naruto needs someone with experience to fall back on.


Q: An insight as to what's going on in Konoha?

A: It's fairly quiet there, right now. Naruto will be making a return trip there soon(ish), with Sakura. Other than that, Tsunade will be getting a message soon.


Q: Naruto can be too OOC/matured too quickly/doesn't seem right/etc...?

A: Naruto is, of course, the hardest character to write in this fic. For what I had planned, he NEEDED to grow up, and do it at a relatively fast rate. It might seem unrealistic based upon the Naruto we have in canon, perhaps... but even the Naruto in canon has his moments of pure brilliance. He'd still have his airhead moments, but most of the time he was an airhead was in the downtime between missions in canon. It's not so easy to do that in a fanfiction, especially if you're trying to write a fairly serious story that doesn't revolve around comedy. Every once in a while I tried to toss in a little bit where people would be nodding to themselves going 'yup, that's Naruto', but as I've been writing him maturing more and more, the ability to do those kinds of things has also dwindled. Then it also seems like he does other things that would be completely OOC, like not prancing about like a little kid when he meets Sasuke again. His life was just turned upside down and sideways, literally. He got his mother back, found out about his father, Sakura said she's in love with him and she kissed him, he's been promoted twice and currently in charge of an up-and-coming outpost. That's a LOT of changes from canon when taken on at once, even if spread out through 26+ chapters it doesn't feel like it. He still recognizes Sasuke, remembers the promise, remembers that he considers Sasuke a friend. But on top of acting more mature, he -understands- that he has other responsibilities right now, and can't drop everything at a moments notice to bind Sasuke down. Also keep in mind that so far the period of time that has passed in this fic is just about a year, even if it doesn't seem like it. A year is enough time for a person to mature a considerable amount thanks to external stimuli.


Q: Lack of Suspense and/or Angst, going to change?

A: Short answer - If I had wanted it to be either one of those, I would have had the story sorted under Suspense/Angst, instead of Action/Adventure/Romance. Long answer - I'm sure Natsumi will be causing plenty of tension to last for a while, and I know that there are plenty of readers who are probably going to hate her. Since I created her as a foil for the main pairing of this fic, that's understandable. My task is going to be making her into a foil that people will hate, but at least understand. As for the Suspense, there will be more than enough of that once the War really gets going. So far there are just basic skirmishes and such, and we still don't know what's behind it. (Well, I do, but I can't say anything!)


Q: Tons of detail vs minimal detail in some scenes/about people?

A: I'll explain this further in another post. For a quick summary, the more I describe something, the more important it is to the story. If something doesn't get much detail given to it, think of it as only haven taken up a panel or three in canon, or seen for a couple minutes at most in the anime.


Q: Sage mode?

A: The major canon plot points will not be deviated from, so yes, Sage mode will be an eventuality. When Naruto goes to train, someone else will become the main character for a little while, perhaps?


Q: Kushina? Moar!

A: No worries, I've heard the outcries when I mentioned a while back that I'd be trimming back on her appearances. She'll be hanging around for the forseeable future. Not in every scene, because that would be annoying, but she'll be a visible presence.


Q: Uchiha fight?

A: It's coming, but it will be glossed over. More than that, I can't say.


Q: Jiraiya?

A: He's in (or around) Rain right now. More on him after the Uchiha have their moment.

Edited by Paradox Jast, 21 March 2010 - 01:39 AM.


#98 socermania2

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 02:46 AM

UCHIHA!?!?!

Don't go Kishi on us, pls.
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#99 Paradox Jast

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 03:05 AM

Hm, not to sure what you mean. If you mean insta-powerups, those aren't happening. Sasuke will never be a focus of this fic like he is in canon either.

#100 Codus N

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 03:18 AM

You know what? there are 2 people in this world that I would die to get my hands on their autograph. Barack Obama and you laugh.gif

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