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#1 ciardha

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Posted 08 February 2007 - 01:34 AM

I've been writing fanfic in various fandoms for well over 10 years, but this is my first Naruto fanfic. I've been posting the chapters on my live journal and the narusaku community there in earlier draft forms but have finally had the first three chapters beta read. They are up on fanfiction net now.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3382150/1/

Feedback welcome. smile.gif
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

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#2 Kazama-san

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Posted 08 February 2007 - 06:30 AM

i thought it was good...i'd like to see longer chapters XD
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#3 ciardha

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Posted 08 February 2007 - 07:02 AM

I can't promise longer chapters, but the wedding arc is going to be several chapters. smile.gif Chapter 4 is done, but I'm waiting to hear back from my beta reader.
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#4 Derock

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Posted 08 February 2007 - 09:18 PM

Your fic is getting good... keep on writing :thumbs:

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#5 jmf

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Posted 08 February 2007 - 11:00 PM

i liked it was very good.

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#6 Tobi_Uchiha

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 02:10 AM

Nice Fanfic XD I´m waiting to see what happens next in the wedding biggrin.gif Will you write also about their honeymoon??? O_O

#7 GoNeKr@zY

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 07:56 AM

Interesting story indeed. Can't WAIT to read the rest of the wedding arc biggrin.gif

#8 ciardha

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 07:32 PM

QUOTE (Derock @ Feb 8 2007, 04:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your fic is getting good... keep on writing :thumbs:


Thanks! It's been a lot of fun writing it.

QUOTE (dark shaman @ Feb 8 2007, 06:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i liked it was very good.


Thank you. smile.gif
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#9 ciardha

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 07:58 PM

QUOTE (Tobi_Uchiha @ Feb 8 2007, 09:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nice Fanfic XD I´m waiting to see what happens next in the wedding biggrin.gif Will you write also about their honeymoon??? O_O


Heh. Well due to Fanfiction net rules the "sexy stuff" can't be posted there, but no such rules apply on livejournal so I might do a short piece on my blog. It won't be a lemon, but if you are familiar with shoujo manga for teen girls like Yuu Watase's Fushigi Yuugi, Ayashi no Ceres, etc... that's about the level of "sexy" I write in my fanfic. Don't know how "hot" guys find that kind of writing, doesn't seem to be their sort of thing as very few guys in fanfic or professional writing do it, but it's really hot to a quite large percentage women and the majority of professional women writers and fanfic writers do write sexy scenes that way. (focusing on the intense emotional/spiritual bond that making love with a person you care deeply sends through you, along with the lust and phsyical pleasure.)

QUOTE (GoNeKr@zY @ Feb 9 2007, 02:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Interesting story indeed. Can't WAIT to read the rest of the wedding arc biggrin.gif


Heh. I like writing funny/sexy/romantic wedding stories, so expect that in this arc. smile.gif
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#10 ciardha

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Posted 12 February 2007 - 05:29 PM

I'm kind of hesitant to post my next chapter unbetaed, but I haven't heard back from my beta reader yet and she's getting ready to go on vacation for two weeks so I'll just link to my live journal draft of chapter 4 for now. I'm eager to get working on chapter 5. smile.gif

http://ciardhapagan....com/197969.html
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#11 murdoc

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Posted 12 February 2007 - 06:16 PM

Your fic is awesome. It's the first time I read a NaruSaku fic that actually tells what happened in the wedding, most NaruSaku fic only say that they got married but they never explained the event.

I loved that Sakura showed her feelings to Naruto before Sasuke came back, but I'm still thinking what actually happened when he came back. Did Naruto think that Sakura might still have romantic feelings for Sasuke? Was Sakura confused about her feelings for the Uchiha, or was she completely over him?

Try to put a little more NaruSaku fluff. It feels like there is more SasuSaku friendship in the fic than NaruSaku fluff.

#12 ciardha

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Posted 12 February 2007 - 10:00 PM

Thank you. I put a lot of thought into what kind of wedding ceremony would Naruto's world have. smile.gif I figured it would involve some sort subtle final test before the actual ceremony to make sure the couple really desired marriage and if they could withstand temptation. The ceremony, itself, would be laden with ninja symbology and clan joining symbology. (I'm facinated by history, anthrolopoloy, literature, and the evolution of language and have a bit of an background in this- back in my college days I was an English major- focusing on world literature and linguistics/History Minor- focusing on ancient near eastern (Egypt and Asia Minor in particular) and Asian cultures (Japan and China in particular) I still enjoying researching these subjects (no surprise I'm a librarian wink.gif

I have future chapters dealing with the night before they leave for the sucessful rescue of Sasuke and the days right after that will both deal with Sakura telling Naruto that she loves him, that she cares for Sasuke but what she had thought was love was a childish crush. I also have a vague idea about a fluffy narusaku chapter that takes place some time in between the events in chapter 2 and the rescue/final battle with Orochimaru chapter, in that chapter she actually tells him she loves him. He thinks she's going to beat the heck out of him because (manga/anime cliche scene warning wink.gif he saw he bathing naked, accidently. It doesn't end like the standard scene, the way Naruto is afraid it will, it's not going a lemon either though- sorry wink.gif
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#13 murdoc

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Posted 12 February 2007 - 10:14 PM

Cool, I'll be waiting for those events. As long as Sakura doesn't try to be with Sasuke

(even though he's gay)
when he gets back I'll be happy. I hate fics that she goes to Sasuke first and then after realizing that she doesn't love him she goes to Naruto after breaking his heart in the first place.

It's okay if you don't wanna make NaruSaku lemons in this fic, but at least try to imply (in the right time) that at least they did it. Especially in their wedding night where it'll be the first time for both.

#14 Tobi_Uchiha

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Posted 12 February 2007 - 10:29 PM

Hehehe I didn´t mean that kind of stuff....I think I asked wrong, I rather mean how would Naruto and Sakura´s reaction be when they found out that She´s pregnant with their first child (Cute) hehe...I don´t know if you plan to write about Sakura´s first pregnancy, I believe it´d be interesting to read wink.gif

#15 ciardha

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Posted 13 February 2007 - 03:03 AM

QUOTE (Tobi_Uchiha @ Feb 12 2007, 05:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hehehe I didn´t mean that kind of stuff....I think I asked wrong, I rather mean how would Naruto and Sakura´s reaction be when they found out that She´s pregnant with their first child (Cute) hehe...I don´t know if you plan to write about Sakura´s first pregnancy, I believe it´d be interesting to read wink.gif


I have one planned that does take place late in her first pregnancy. smile.gif
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#16 ciardha

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Posted 13 February 2007 - 03:47 AM

QUOTE (murdoc @ Feb 12 2007, 05:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Cool, I'll be waiting for those events. As long as Sakura doesn't try to be with Sasuke

(even though he's gay)
when he gets back I'll be happy. I hate fics that she goes to Sasuke first and then after realizing that she doesn't love him she goes to Naruto after breaking his heart in the first place.

It's okay if you don't wanna make NaruSaku lemons in this fic, but at least try to imply (in the right time) that at least they did it. Especially in their wedding night where it'll be the first time for both.


Have no fear, even in point of time that chapter 2 takes place she knows she has deeper feelings for Naruto than she does for Sasuke. (Frankly I think Kishimoto pretty much made that clear when they encountered Sasuke. Sakura came at Sasuke full bore when she thought he was going to kill Naruto. She was bound and determined to "use her powers to stop Sasuke". Yamato blocked her and took the stab Sasuke aimed for Sakura) This right on the heels of Yamato making the statement Sakura did not refute in any way, in fact her face showed a sort of stunned realization. She's still sort of confused about what the feelings are in the chapter 2 flashback- something along the line- "Is this what real love feels like?" It's not like what the myth of love they were told as young children.

Oh there's definitely going to be "sexy stuff" wink.gif in my story, just more along what is in shoujo manga for teen girls (a lot more than what you see in boys manga for the same age, by the way) it's just not the lemon style you see in men's manga, but intensely romantic lovemaking (take a look at Yuu Watase's Fushigi Yuugi or Ayashi no Ceres for well written examples. In many shoujo manga for girls aged 10-18 there are scenes where 16 year old girls make love with their similarly aged boyfriends, and lots of kissing and "near miss" decidely sexual scenes before that.)

Well, maybe first time as a married couple, but decidely not their first time. wink.gif I'm wavering back and forth on whether they make love for the first time the night before they leave for the sucessful rescue of Sasuke. I'm leaning toward a near thing scene, but they decide to wait as a sort of "charm" to say they know they'll survive and suceed. Once they are sucessful they can take this big step.
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#17 Tobi_Uchiha

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Posted 13 February 2007 - 07:22 AM

Hehehe....I can imagine Naruto being all nervious when Sakura will deliver their first born child...I can see him doing all the breathing exercise as Sakura tells him that she´s the one who will have the kid, not him. biggrin.gif

I´m planning to put in my fanfic some slighty sex stuff...but this will be very light. (I don´t really like the lemon sotries XP ).

I hope you will update your story very soon...because it´s turning very inresting.

#18 murdoc

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Posted 13 February 2007 - 08:16 AM

QUOTE (ciardha @ Feb 12 2007, 10:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Have no fear, even in point of time that chapter 2 takes place she knows she has deeper feelings for Naruto than she does for Sasuke. (Frankly I think Kishimoto pretty much made that clear when they encountered Sasuke. Sakura came at Sasuke full bore when she thought he was going to kill Naruto. She was bound and determined to "use her powers to stop Sasuke". Yamato blocked her and took the stab Sasuke aimed for Sakura) This right on the heels of Yamato making the statement Sakura did not refute in any way, in fact her face showed a sort of stunned realization. She's still sort of confused about what the feelings are in the chapter 2 flashback- something along the line- "Is this what real love feels like?" It's not like what the myth of love they were told as young children.

Oh there's definitely going to be "sexy stuff" wink.gif in my story, just more along what is in shoujo manga for teen girls (a lot more than what you see in boys manga for the same age, by the way) it's just not the lemon style you see in men's manga, but intensely romantic lovemaking (take a look at Yuu Watase's Fushigi Yuugi or Ayashi no Ceres for well written examples. In many shoujo manga for girls aged 10-18 there are scenes where 16 year old girls make love with their similarly aged boyfriends, and lots of kissing and "near miss" decidely sexual scenes before that.)

Well, maybe first time as a married couple, but decidely not their first time. wink.gif I'm wavering back and forth on whether they make love for the first time the night before they leave for the sucessful rescue of Sasuke. I'm leaning toward a near thing scene, but they decide to wait as a sort of "charm" to say they know they'll survive and suceed. Once they are sucessful they can take this big step.


Cool, I'm really looking forward to all of this

#19 ciardha

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Posted 13 February 2007 - 09:20 PM

QUOTE (Tobi_Uchiha @ Feb 13 2007, 02:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hehehe....I can imagine Naruto being all nervious when Sakura will deliver their first born child...I can see him doing all the breathing exercise as Sakura tells him that she´s the one who will have the kid, not him. biggrin.gif

I´m planning to put in my fanfic some slighty sex stuff...but this will be very light. (I don´t really like the lemon sotries XP ).

I hope you will update your story very soon...because it´s turning very inresting.


Thanks. I don't really care that much for lemons either, it's emphasis is mechanics rather than intimacy. (Like the difference between a porn movie and a steamy romance novel wink.gif
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009

#20 ciardha

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Posted 25 February 2007 - 03:18 PM

Getting impatient about my slow beta reader, so here is a link to chapter 5, unbetaed in my live journal

http://ciardhapagan....com/209903.html

I'm still working on chapter 6's first draft, it looks like this arc will probably go for one more chapter after that. I had planned to jump back to the "home" period after that, but am feeling a stronger draw toward writing a flashback to the preparations for the rescue Sasuke mission (This weeks Naruto chapter inspired that switch in plans. Kishimoto is writing Naruto and Sakura the way I expected as the time for that mission drew near)
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971

When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono

Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009




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