Candleguy

K

 

So the last time I was on tumblr for more then a minute in the last few weeks, there were gender bender NaruSaku fanart going around. Some of them were pretty nice and surprisingly while I was away from tumblr I couldn’t escape my narusaku-ness and was struck by inspiration. And this is the by product of such inspiration.  

 

I ran into trouble with this one in the sense that yes there is Naruko for the female version of Naruto in fanon and canon. To my knowledge there wasn’t any name for make Sakura. Someone suggested Sakurai and so I went with that. I didn’t change anyone else’s name though (besides Sasuke-Sasuko) but you assume they are gender flipped.

 

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Sakurai rediscovered "himself" in the cafeteria of the Konoha hospital. For someone who had imagined that he was at peace with himself this discovery came as a complete shock. To be fair to Sakurai he had not been in the right state of mind at the time. This unexpected moment of judicious awareness had come on the heels of a rather tense series of events. Naruko had returned to the village drenched in her own blood.  In the heat of battle she'd been hit by a blow that not only wounded her but disrupted her chakra thereby severely limiting her healing abilities.  It had been a injury grievous enough to deeply concern Tsunade and Sakurai had gotten the news of it while  he was in bed. Hinata was the one who had woken him up with the news; and the two made for quite the sight, shoulder to shoulder at the break of dawn, sprinting towards the hospital.

 

Without much help from  Naruko's innate healing abilities or the healing powers of sage arts it took ten hours of intensive care to save Naruko's life. Sakurai who had been exhausted by the end of the procedure promptly sprawled himself on the floor of his office and  fell asleep. Sai had shaken him awake the next day and declared, with a tone as flat as the floor Sakurai was sleeping on, "She's gone." 

 

It had taken an unfortunate amount of time for Sai to clarify his statement as one meaning "she has gone missing from her room." After giving Sai a tongue lashing that would have flayed a softer women's skin, Sakurai had then gone on the hunt for the missing heroine.

 

He found her in the cafeteria. She was instructing the staff like a head chef-no like wise old master dictating to his pupils the finer points in the art of cooking ramen. Naruko was apparently so enthralled in her task that she failed to register Sakurai's presence until he slapped the back of her head.

 

"What are you doing?!" Sakurai asked. 

 

Naruko grabbed the back of her head and groaned. "I was hungry" 

 

"I am running around the hospital looking for you and you're in here making lunch?"

 

Naruko turned to face him. 'Would you rather I had left the hospital and gone to the ramen stand?"

 

"That's not the point!"

 

"I know how it looks" Naruko announced.  "But I didn't order anyone to make me ramen, the staff offered to hel---"

 

"Idiot! You just had major surgery! You are supposed to be in bed!"

 

She smiled brightly, then grinned, "I feel fine, I am pretty sure my healing abilities are back--"

 

At that point Naruko had lost Sakurai. His reflection in a large stainless steel pan that hung from the ceiling now commanded his attention. Through the corner of his eyes Sakurai saw "himself" smiling fondly at Naruko, the relief on "his" face was raw and real. The startling thing was that this reflection did not reflect how he thought he should have been feeling. He was annoyed wasn't he? Frustrated with his friend. Where was the tension in his jaw? The throbbing vein clearly visible in the middle of his forehead?

 

"I woke up this morning feeling-"

 

Sakurai turned his attention back to Naruko. He remembered his teammates covered in blood, sucking in tiny gulps of air. He remembered the chill that had gripped him when he first saw Naruko's wound. He remembered the way his throat had clenched like a fist this very morning, when Sai had made that mind blowing breach of common sense.  

 

He sighed. "Listen, if you go back to bed and allow your body to recover normally, like a sane person, I will personally go to ichiraku and get you lunch and dinner every day until you are discharged." 

 

 

Delight sparked in Naruko's eyes, "seriously?" 

 

 

Sakurai nodded "Yeah, seriously." 

 

 

Naruko bit her bottom lip. "I can eat a lot of ramen y'know."

 

 

"I've known you long enough to get a good sense of how much ramen you can hold down. I'll eat the bill, if you go back to bed."  

 

 

Naruko faced him head-on, eyebrows furrowed "I want to agree, but I don't want to cheat you Sakurai-chan, there's really no reason for me to go back to bed because I feel fine."

 

 

"You are not fine!" Sakurai snapped.

 

 

"But I am."

 

           

 

"You're just too audacious to realize that it's miracle for you to be even standing upright this soon." 

 

 

"Sakurai you-" 

 

 

Unfortunately Naruko's thought was interrupted by the large quantity of greenish fluid being ejected from her mouth with considerable force onto the floor and Sakurai's boots.

 

 

"I might not be as fine as a I thought I was" Naruko wheezed eventually, her face taking on a sudden shade of pale.

 

 

Sakurai took a half second to mourn his newly bought boots before willing professionalism to take over.  "Your immune system has been weakened and as expected this has enabled toxins to come in and disturb your constitution." 

 

 

"Uh-huh, hey I think you might have to carry me back to my room," Naruko said as she wobbled on her feet. 

 

 

"Carry you?"

 

 

Naruko took a step and tipped forward. Moving swiftly Sakurai reached over hooking his arms under her armpits and catching her.  

 

 

She rested her head against his shoulder,  "Sorry about the boots, I'll buy you a new pair I promise."

 

 

Quietly Sakurai picked her up in his arms and  glanced over at the pan. He saw "himself" again. This time he was red-faced, flustered and visibly confused. 

 

 

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Sakurai walked into Naruko's hospital room at just about dawn the next morning. As he had figured Naruko was fast asleep. He had gotten no sleep, as a 80/20 split of worrying about Naruko and being puzzled over the sudden appearance of a distinct "self"  respectively had keep him up all night. Still he was a professional shinobi and a medic trained by the legendary Tsunade, he could go two or three days without sleep and still perform complex surgeries. 

 

So he felt perfectly professional and steely rational as he swept her blonde wet hair from her forehead and laid his palm against her clammy skin. She didn't feel hot. The fever may have already broken. He caressed her pallid cheek with his fingertips.  Yes the fever had indeed broken. Naruko was clearly on the road to recovery he mused while tucking a few more loose strands of hair behind her ears. 

 

And then, without warning, Naruko inhaled sharply, like a sigh going in reverse, and her eyes fluttered open. Caught off guard Sakurai stared down into light blue eyes so shiny he could see himself reflected in their depths. 

 

His first instinct was to scold "himself"

 

Wha...Don't look at her look like that people will get the wrong idea!

 

But he opted for taking two stumbling steps away from the bed instead.  

 

"Good morning," He said, as a preemptive strike against the awkward silence he felt incoming.

 

"Morning" Naruko replied in a hoarse voice so low she could barely be heard.  She smiled at Sakurai "You can say it now."

 

"Say what?'

 

"I told you so."

 

Sakurai grinned. "Why would I say that?"

 

"Because you have a thing about being right."                                              

 

"I definitely don't have a thing about being right" Sakurai shot back. 

 

"I guess you're right about that."

 

Sakurai nodded in acknowledgment of the concession but realized quickly that he'd been tricked when snorts of laughter forced themselves out from between Naruko's lips. Indignant Sakurai rushed back towards the bed and took Naruko's right cheek between his thumb and pointer finger.

 

He squeezed and said, "I see how it is, first you throw up on me then you mock me."

 

"I was kidding, I'm sorry!" Naruko cried out.                         

 

Sakurai released Naruko and she immedly caressed her pinched cheek and pouted. 

 

"I thought medics were supposed to heal their patients not harm them."

 

"I can do whatever I want as long as you I heal you back to full health afterwards."

 

Naruko shook her head. "Sakurai-chan when you say things like that it makes you sound evil." 

 

"If I was so evil I would not have saved your life" Sakurai said with a harumph. 

 

"Ah yeah, I haven't thanked you for that yet."

 

"Please it's only fair. You're always running around playing hero saving the village-the world, it's about time you gave someone else the chance to save the day."

 

Naruko laughed. "Maybe I have been selfish."

 

"Yes, yes you have, very very selfish."

 

Naruko bowed her head. "Alright then, my health is in your hands. Please take care of me."

 

“I'll take care of you,” Sakurai whispered. He then reconsidered his words. “I mean, I'll make sure you're taken care of.” 

 

Naruko smiled at him. “Good.”  

 

"Okay," Sakurai felt another wave of awkwardness coming on so he knew he needed to make a quick exit.  "I'll be back later-to check on you later."

 

Sakuraiiavoided her gaze as he hurried out. He couldn't risk see "himself" again in her eyes since he wasn't sure how he would react to such weirdness. He had an early diagnosis for the problem however, clearly he was still feeling residual effects of the stress and shock of the previous day.   It was a bit of a jab to his pride as a medic to have his composure so thoroughly rattled, but it was understandable, he had to pull his dear friend back from the brink of death. Such an incident had occurred before but it wasn't exactly an experience that was suddenly easier to manage the second time around.  Things would be easier now once he had the diagnosis because Sakurai knew the treatment, he just needed some rest. 

 

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The medic's nap as it was so called had been a wartime invention but it immediately became an invaluable tool for any dedicated medic. It was Sakurai's go-to technique during any busy period. Whenever he needed a quick nap he would go to sleep at his desk with his head resting on his wrist until his hand fell asleep and the tingling woke him up, usually around fifteen or so minutes after the nap started.  It was in essence a natural alarm clock without the tempting snooze button. 

 

Sakurai had cleared the surface of his desk and was moments away from shutting his eyes when someone knocked on his door.

 

"Come in" he called out blinking sleep from his eyes. 

 

A dark-haired young man entered the room. When he saw Sakurai, he smiled warmly. "Hey, sorry to interrupt."

 

It took Sakurai a few more blinks to recognize Hinata. Sakurai stood up from his desk, greeted the Huyga and offered him a seat. 

 

As Hinata sat down across from Sakurai, he said, “You look exhausted. Maybe you should go home and get some sleep?” 

 

“I'm fine. There's still a long way to go until I am comfortable with Naruko's recovery."

 

Hinata raised his eyebrows. "Is there a problem?"

 

"No, she-I am just being cautious" Sakurai sighed.   

 

And just like an awkward silence flooded the room as they both started at each other. Sakurai's fingers tapped a soft rhythm against the shiny surface of his desk.  Hinata swayed back and forth in his seat as he were being rocked by a gentle breeze. 

 

Eventually Hinata said, "For a moment there I thought...it was over."

 

Sakurai nodded, "I know, I felt the same way when I first saw the wound."

 

Hinata chuckled, "That's funny, we were both worried, but you know when she saw the wound it didn't shake her all. She wasn't worried a bit." 

 

Sakurai laughed, "well I think we can both agree that she is a...unique kunoichi."

 

"She knew you'd save her" Hinata said with whimsical tone.  "She literally said 'get me back to Sakurai-chan and he'll save me."

 

"Oh really?" 

 

Sakurai looked down, his reflection on the wooden desk scratched at the back of "his" head awkwardly.  A prideful grin was plastered on "his" face and blotches of red bloomed all along his cheeks.

 

"That was sweet of her to say" Sakurai continued. 

 

"She has complete and total confidence in you and your skills. I have to admit I was a little envious of that."

 

Hinata's words had inadvertently triggered Sakurai's memory. In the excitement and anxiety swirling around Naruko's injury Sakurai had forgotten why Naruko had been away. Hinata had invited Naruko to join his team on mission. Sakurai distinctly recalled hoping the mission would bring those two closer together. Sakurai turned his attention back to Hinata. Had they gotten closer, were they in the process of getting closer?

 

Awkward silence ensued, and persisted until Hinata made an uncomfortable throat-clearing sound.

 

"Anyway I just wanted to personally thank you."

 

"For what?" Sakurai asked.

 

"For saving Naruko's life."

 

"Ah yes well. It's my job I am a medic ." 

 

Hinata rose his arm outstretched, "an excellent medic."

 

Sakurai rose as well and took the hand that reached for him, "thank you."

 

They shared a stiff an awkward man–hug, and then another awkward moment of sharing clumsy but sincere smiles until Hinata found the courage to leave. When the Huyga was gone it occurred too Sakurai, not for the first time, that hinata was a good man. Indeed Naruko should be delighted to have such a devoted and amiable man infatuated with her. Certainly they would make a fine and adorable couple, and he would look forward to watching their progress.                                                        

 

Lost in thought Sakurai made the mistake of looking back down at his desk. There was jealousy on "his" face, jealousy mixed with regret. 

 

It was clear now that a simple nap wouldn't be enough 

 

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When Naruko slurped that first mouthful of the day, she broke into one of the biggest smiles Sakurai had ever seen. Sakurai sat on the chair beside the hospital bed and watched Naruko enjoying her lunch. Sakurai had been a witness to similar scenes many times before yet this had been the first time that he had been aware of the absurdity of it. This person in the hospital bed before him was one of the most-if not outright the most powerful person living today. And here she was being thoroughly satisfied by wet noodles.

 

Naruko caught him looking at her and an embarrassed smile flashed on her face. When she returned to her ramen she began slurping as daintily as she could. The gesture was so innocent that Sakurai couldn't help but laugh. And he kept laughing, until a tear slid from one eye.

 

"What's so funny?"

 

"Nothing" Sakurai coughed. "Finish your lunch. You have to get your strength up.” 

 

When it came to finishing ramen Naruko didn't need to be told twice. 

 

Sakurai watched Naruko take in a couple more mouthfuls before curiosity possessed him. "You never told me the story of how you got hurt in the first place. I mean how did someone as fast as you get hit?" 

 

She considered Sakurai's statement for a moment then waved her hand in the air dismissively.

 

"Well you are right  I am pretty fast. But it's not much of story to be honest. It was a battle and I just got hit."

 

Sakurai rolled his eyes. "Alright now that we've gotten the modesty out of the way. You can tell me whose life you were saving?"

 

That got a smirk out of Naruko.

 

"So....?" Sakurai asked.

 

"Well the battle was in a populated area. Eventually I was in the situation where I had to decide between dodging an attack and letting a family behind me get hit or deflecting the attack and saving them." 

 

Naruko shrugged and laughed, "turns out it wasn't a deflectable kind of attack."

 

Sakurai snorted, "well it all worked out in the end I guess."

 

"It did" Naruko said digging into her lunch. "The family was saved plus I'm not dead so I can keep enjoying ramen." 

 

Sakurai returned to his thoughts, every now and again stealing a glance at Naruko as she slurped loudly-having at last given up on decorum-the last of her lunch and leaned back, satisfied and refreshed.

 

"Sakurai-chan can I ask you question?" She asked, while putting her bowl to the side.

 

"Sure."

 

"How is that while I am getting better you are looking worse?"

 

Sakurai sat up straight in his seat. "What?"

 

"It's like your head is sinking into your body way past your shoulders and your forehead is as tense as I have ever seen it." 

 

Sakurai's jaw clenched. "Okay I admit over these last few days I've been looking a little ragged but there's no need to exaggerate."

 

"I am not exaggerating, you look like you've been run over by a parade of tailed beast."

 

"See right there, that's an extreme exaggeration!" Sakurai shouted with indignation. 

 

"Do you even sleep?" Naruko asked. 

 

Sakurai averted his gaze. "I've had a lot on my mind lately. Anyway a medic is trained specifically to function very well without much sleep. So you don't have to worry about your treatment."

 

"I am not worried about me," Naruko studied Sakurai curiously for some time before she disappeared in a flash of yellow and appeared suddenly behind Sakurai's chair.  "I owe you so let me help."

 

"Wait, what are you doing?" Sakurai cried.

 

"Just give me five minutes' Naruko said putting her hands on Sakurai's shoulders.

 

"Woah wait, I don't think--"

 

"It's okay, it's just a massage." 

 

With Sakurai's reluctant approval Naruko gingerly started kneading pressing her thumbs between his shoulder blades. He let out a sound low groan in his throat as Naruko moved her thumbs down his upper spine, finding the tight knots and working them loose.  

 

"Let me know if I hurt you." 

 

"Your hands are surprisingly...gentle for someone who might be the strongest person in the world" Sakurai sighed.  

 

When his body began to relax, Naruko said, "I think I know what your problem is."

 

 

"Yeah?" Sakurai said giving in to the wonderful chills rolling up and down his back.

 

 

"You miss Sasuko."

 

 

Sakurai squirmed under Naruko's touch but said nothing more.

 

 

"She'll be back soon, I'm sure of it" Naruko said reassuringly.

 

That was likely true Sakurai thought. She should be back eventually, right? 

 

 

"I'll wait as long as it takes." Sakurai blurted out, his voice far more defensive than he had intended to make it. 

 

 

'I know" Naruko said in the most neutral tone Sakurai had ever heard come from his teammate. 

 

 

For a while, they said nothing, but it was a strangely comfortable silence. 

 

 

"Hinata loves you" Sakurai said breaking the gentle quiet.                         

 

 

"I know" Naruko repeated.  Her voice betraying nothing. 

 

 

"What-are you going to do about that?" Sakurai asked. 

 

 

"Something, one day-I guess-when I'm ready."

 

 

Sakurai swallowed the lump in his throat. "You're not ready now?"

 

 

"Not as ready as I should be."

 

 

Sakurai scrutinized his sense of ease from hearing her words and when he considered the implications of it he barred it from his mind. Another thought took its place and it was no less distressing.

 

"What the hell!" Sakurai said springing out of his chair.  Then he pointed at the bed "you're still in recovery you are supposed to be in bed!" 

 

The initial shock written on Naruko's face from witnessing Sakurai's volcanic eruption from the chair faded easily into mirth. 

 

"I'm fine, Sakurai-chan."

 

"There's a recovery schedule for a reason. You promised you'd follow my instructions."

 

"Okay calm down," Naruko started to do a jig, swinging her hips from side to side and snapping her fingers with delight, "See." 

 

Sakurai wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, not allowing her to move, "Stop that don't over-exert yourself!" 

 

 

"You are medically obsessed you know that?" Naruko said softly. 

 

 

"That's what makes me good at it what I do. Now let me take care of you, like I promised." 

 

Slowly Naruko placed her cheek against his shoulders and she melted into his arms. He couldn't blame her for that, it had suddenly gotten so warm in the room.  Sakurai could not ignore the heat radiating between them, and the obvious fact that it had nothing to do with either of them suffering from a fever. He had no clue what was going to happen next. He wasn't even sure what was happening in the present. He was of the mind to leave it to the hands of fate when he felt Naruko stiffen like petrified wood in his grasp. 

 

"Something wrong?" Sakurai asked. 

 

"I just um-I'm sorry I just remembered that I'm not wearing anything but the hospital gown."

 

And just like that Sakurai became conscious of something he had only been dimly aware of.  The contours of her shape were fitted into his and he was cognizant of her softness now, the unyielding flesh. He could feel now without looking the shapeliness of her female frame.

 

Sakurai sprang backwards as if having touched a hot stove. "I'm sorry!"

 

Her face fiery red Naruko dove back into the hospital bed and beneath covers. 

 

"I'm sorry!" Sakurai blurted out again. 

 

"No it's my fault! I shouldn't have gotten out of bed like that!" Naruko cried.

 

They punched and counterpunched with hurried and sincere apologies until Sakurai managed to stumble out of the room into the hallway. Sakurai floundered and lurched through the halls of the hospital like a drunkard. Fortunately he managed to stop his forward momentum before anyone had taken notice of his unraveling state.  Unfortunately he stopped right in front of a mirror.  

 

And to Sakurai's great stupification "he" greeted him with a perverted grin and a thumbs up

 

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The sun woke Sakurai up at dawn, but he was in no rush to get out of bed. There had been a lot on his mind over the last week and as he had expected the situation wasn't much different this morning.  A week of thought hadn't given him any answers, so it seemed at last that perhaps he wasn't asking the right questions, he wasn't confronting the actual elephant in the room.  So rubbing his eyes Sakurai climbed out of bed and waddled over to the full-length mirror covering his bedroom wall. He massaged the base of his forehead, drew in a deep breath,  examined the bags under his eyes, and let the breath out slowly. 

 

"Okay why not when we were training together? Why not when she saved me from Gaara, why not when she came back after training with her godmother, why not when she saved the village from Nagato, why not when she saved me from Sasuko, why not when I held her heart in my hand during the war-why not after she saved the world-why not anytime in the last eight years-why now?"

 

He looked up and at his reflection in the mirror. His reflection stared back. Sakurai felt suddenly embarrassed. He stepped back from the mirror and stared down at his shaking hands. He looked up at the mirror and saw "himself" looking not at him but off to the side, somewhere past him. Sakurai followed "his" gaze to the bedroom window where sunlight streamed into the room 

 

Curious Sakurai eased his way to the window. He held out his hand, palm up, and when the sunlight struck his skin, he was assailed by two memories. They seemed to come to him simultaneously but intuitively Sakurai felt that the first triggered the second. The first thought that had come to mind was how he'd woken up this very morning with the sun streaming light through his eyes lids. Then he recalled storming into the cafeteria-flush with anger and lingering fear-he berated Naruko venting his frustration at her but then she simply smiled at him. That smile that had dawned on her face had filled the room with its radiance breaking through the clouds of his fear and anger and waking him up

 

Sakurai placed a palm against his forehead, "oh no, no, no."

 

He whirled towards the mirror. "If Sasuko were here, if Sasuko was right here in front of me I'd prove my love, I'd declare my love from the mountain-top so the whole world could hear!"

 

Sakurai's eyes darted across the room, looking for a picture of his love, a substitute upon to project his affection. He paused, no more substitutes, he needed to find Sasuko. He needed to go out into the world and find Sasuko and prove how much he loved her. 

 

He paused for a second time. He had no idea where she was. She hadn't contacted him in two years. Sakurai glanced around his room, it was suddenly empty yet somehow stifling, it was to his eyes in reality the loneliest room in the whole world. 

 

"I know what being in love feels like, I've been in love for years, I know what love is," he muttered softly to "himself."

 

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Sakurai's main objective for the next day was to discharge Naruko without looking her in the face. If he managed to accomplish such a feat with adequate success then the next step would be to extend the objective to the rest of his natural life. 

 

"You've still got small traces of the chakra poisoning in your system. So you chakra won't be functioning at optimal levels, your healing will still be somewhat limited but nowhere near as bad as it was before. You can for example, definitely take one or two more stabs wounds, than you could have the day after your surgery.  Just don't over do it, try to avoid getting hit-like most people have to do. Also your immune system is very vulnerable so you'll have to avoid germs, bacteria and poisons just like everyone else. At least for a little while, by the end of the month you'll be back to being a beast." 

 

"I'm a beast eh?" Naruko chuckled, as she held up her hair tying it into her trademark twin  ponytail. 

 

Sakurai turned away quickly and edged towards the window in Naruko's hospital room.  He started into the village scanning for something to focus on. He settled on the graying clouds in the sky. 

 

"Well you and Sasuko are the closest things I know to beasts without you know being actual beasts. But right now you are just a mini beast so I'd recommend you avoid missions for a week or two at least." 

 

"I can keep eating ramen right?"

 

"Yeah, but you know it might be a little bit healthier to break the pattern with a bowl of salad every now and then."

 

"There are vegetables in ramen" Naruko replied.

 

"Right" Sakurai sighed. "It looks like its going to rain so you should try and get home as quickly as possible."

 

"Getting home quick won't be much of a problem" Naruko said with a yawn. "Hey turn around."

 

Biting his lips Sakurai turned sharply on his heels and faced Naruko

 

"Ta-da!" She shouted pushing a brown paper bag into his arms. 

 

"What is this?" Sakurai asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice. 

 

"Your new boots, I promised to get you new ones remember?"

 

"When did you...Did you sneak out to get these?"

 

Naruko shook her head. "I have other friends Sakurai-chan, friends who visit me and get me things from outside."

 

Ignoring her obvious logic Sakurai reached inside the bag and pulled out a pair of boots. He eyed them with thinly veiled admiration and he caught himself hoping they fit. 

 

"They're nice-" He meant it too-well they more than nice, but to his mind saying so would further complicate the issue at hand. "-But I can't take this."

 

"Why not?"

 

Dropping the boots back into the bag Sakurai pushed the bag back towards Naruko, "The boots you barfed all over are fine, all they needed was a little cleaning." 

 

Naruko pushed the bag back towards him. "Ok well then those are your back-up boots and these are your nice boots."

 

"I can't accept this," Sakurai said pushing the bag back. 

 

Naruko shoved the bag firmly into Sakurai's torso. "Why not?"

 

"Like I said I already have boots!"

 

The bag leapt from Sakuraii's arms into Naruko's.

 

"These boots are better!"

 

And then back again. 

 

"A medic is not supposed to accept favors for treatment!" Sakurai shouted deflecting the back like a ping pong. 

 

Naruko backhanded the ball away from her arms. "This isn't payment this is a gift from a friend!" 

 

Sakurai allowed the bag to hit him in the chest and fall to the ground, "what if I don't want to be just friends?"

 

"What?" Naruko said with wide innocent eyes. 

 

"What?" Sakurai countered. 

 

"Are you saying you don't want to be friends anymore Sakurai-chan?"

 

"I didn’t say that. I did not say that, no, that's not what I said." Sakurai grimaced, "listen I haven’t been sleeping lately and I'm-"

 

Naruko picked the bag off the ground. "If you don't want it. I'll take it back."

 

"No" Sakurai snatched the bag from her arms. "I want the boots."

 

"It's okay, I shouldn't have pushed them on you," Naruko said plucking the back out of Sakurai's arms. 

 

Sakurai seized the bag from her, "no seriously I want the boots, I appreciate this gift."

 

Naruko deftly snagged the bag away from Sakurai, "you don't have to do this, if you don't like the boots-"

 

Sakurai interrupted  her by swiping the bag from her grasp.  "I love these boots alright! I love having you as my best friend! I love--"   Sakurai paused, and a thoughtful expression came over his face as he clenched the bag against his body.  He leaned over to Naruko and gently kissed her on her cheek, just two inches away from her lips. He then pulled away from her and gazed into the beautiful face he'd just kissed.

 

"Thank you for the boots" Sakurai nodded. He then walked away to the door of the room. "You should really get home before it rains.'  

 

Looking for a distraction Sakurai toured the hospital twice and by the time that he wandered back to his office rain was beating at his window.  He pulled his seat into a corner of the room and waited for the rain to stop because he didn't want to go out and get his new boots wet. 

 

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When the last lines of raindrops slid down the window pane Sakurai realized he knew for sure what he needed to do next.  First he would go home and get some sleep. Second he would wake up and start proactively living a lie that will last for the rest of his life. The consequence of this lie would mean he and Naruko would never have an honest relationship again. But Naruko wouldn't be aware of this so that problem was really his. Yes he would likely live in misery and sorrow for awhile but it was a price worth paying. A man who made choices lived by the consequences of those choices.

 

For the first time since being trained by Tsunade Sakurai stepped out of the hospital feeling very tired and empty. Outside he was greeting by a fresh wet wind and-to his shock-Naruko who stood waiting by the main entrance of the hospital.  Naruko was drenched to the skin, her jacket soaked through, her hair slicked back. Rain actually poured off every inch of her, dripping off her chin, her nose, and even her ears. It occurred to Sakurai as he looked Naruko over, if he weren't so worried about her health he would have found this to be a very arousing scene. 

 

A mischievous grin spread across Naruko's face upon seeing him. A knot appeared in his throat upon seeing that grin. 

 

"I thought you went home?!"

 

"I started to go home, and then I figured something out and I really needed to come back."

 

"So why are you standing out here?!" 

 

"I was waiting for you."                                                                                                              

 

Sakurai pointed to the entrance, "Why didn’t you wait inside?!"

 

Naruko offered the hospital a quizzical glance. "I- I guess I didn't think about that."

 

"You didn't think about that?!" Sakurai shouted

 

"I had a lot on my mind. I had to really work things out in my mind before-"

 

"Are you an actual idiot?!" Sakurai interrupted. "I told you about your weakened immune system and you stand out in the rain?!"

 

Naruko blinked at the furious medic.  "Did you almost kiss me on the lips in there?"

 

A violent flush swept over Sakurai's face as he stammered for words. "What, I your kiss" Then he resorted to quick angry gestures. "That's what you waited-in the rain-to ask me? Am you crazy?"

 

"Am I crazy?"

 

Sakurai backed away, a string of lectures about personal responsibility and being mindful of one's health tumbled from his lips, and Naruko followed. He backed a little this way and he backed a little that way. And every step Naruko followed, and followed again.  The dance continued until Sakurai stepped into a large puddle with muck around the edges. Sakurai winced knowing he likely muddied his new boots already, he looked down and noticed his reflection in the disturbed water 

 

Their eyes met, "he" nodded sagely at Sakurai and Sakurai stared at "him" like "he" were nuts. But when he glanced up Naruko he met her expectant eyes and he felt the hammer blow of seven words once said on a snowy afternoon a few years ago.                                   

 

"I've been saying to myself again and again 'this is not what you want.' But I am less and less able to fool myself" Sakurai muttered.

 

"What does that mean?" Naruko asked. 

 

"It means I wanted to kiss you."

 

 

Naruko was quiet for a moment. "So why didn't you?"

 

 

Sakurai rubbed at the back of his neck and sighed, "I think it's too late and I think you deserve better." 

 

 

Naruko snorted. “I thought I was supposed to be the idiot Sakurai-chan.” 

 

Sakurai chuckled, "no, I am the idiot, I've always been the idiot." 

 

 

Naruko grinned, "maybe, but it hasn't stopped me from loving you yet."

 

 

"Oh" Sakurai responded. 

 

 

Naruko's grin faded from her face and her expression became solemn. "You've been in love with Sasuko for years."

 

 

"Sasuko is gone and she's taken my love with her."

 

 

"She'll be back, someday."

 

 

"And I'll welcome her back as a friend."

 

 

"That make me a little sad" Naruko said blinking her misting eyes. "But only just a little sad." 

 

 

Sakurai scanned the immediate area, noting that there wasn't anyone else in listening distance.  "So what happens now?"

 

 

Naruko shrugged, "I don't know, it's been a long time since I thought there would ever be a 'now'."

 

 

"hmmm can I kiss you?" Sakurai asked. 

 

 

Naruko gave him a cooked grin. "Can you?"

 

 

"I think I can" 

 

Sakurai started towards Naruko and she pushed her dripping wet hair back from in front of her face. Sakurai smiled at this as he moved closer, soon enough they were standing in front of each other staring into each other's eyes. He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the mouth then pulled back a bit. He hovered for a moment over her lips before he looked at her. She'd closed her eyes and now she licked her lips, savoring the kiss.  Sakurai laughed and kissed her again and again, each time pushing back every excuse he had ever had that had kept him from kissing her years ago. 

 

Eventually, he felt her frantically tapping against his chest. He let up on the kisses and looked at her. 

 

"What's wrong?"

 

She answered by sneezing in his face.  

 

 

"I'm so sorry" Naruko said wiping at her dribbling nose. "The rain must have..."

 

 

Quietly Sakurai wiped at his face with this tip of his sleeve. Then he draped his right arms around Naruko. 

 

 

"I told you so" he sighed. "Let's get you inside and get things better before it gets worse."

 

 

He directed them towards the hospital. "At least you didn't throw up on me this time."

 

 

"Thank goodness, those boots are expensive" Naruko sniffed loudly before sneezing once again. "Hey Sakurai-chan are you doing anything this Saturday?"

 

 

"Assuming you haven't gotten us  both sick?"

 

 

"Yeah"

 

 

"I don't know, am I doing anything?"

 

 

"We could have dinner or something"

 

 

"Ramen.." Sakurai guessed. 

 

 

"I'd love to," Naruko answered.

 

 

On their way back to the hospital Sakurai glanced deeply at every puddle he could lay his eyes on. He looked in each excited and happy, he grinned and his reflection grinned right back at him. "He" was gone. Which was for the best since he was in love with a girl who hated people who lied to themselves. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well I hope you like it, some Wed evening (U.S EST) rom-com for your consideration.

 

As always let me know what you think.

Originally posted on tumblr here: http://bodegacowboy....chasing-the-sun

 

Disclaimer: This is a lemon okay? Those of you who don't know fanfic terminology this means there is sex involved. There will be a sex scene. I just needed to wrap a story around it to legitimize myself as an artist .

 

Also its an affair fic so y'know if that bugs you then please don't read it and get your feelings hurt.

 

I don't condone cheating in real life and if cheating occurred in canon I'd go "hey that 's a little weird for kid's story and out of character"

 

What do you need to know for this fic? Its canon based, by that its mostly tries to be "canon" with a few of the more unnecessary details tossed out, for example I didn’t bother dealing with SaiIno so that doesn’t exist.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Seventh woke up with one of the worst hangovers he had ever experienced

This was saying something since over the last few years he had come to know a handful of intense hangovers. He was currently sprawled out on his back on what he had first imagined was grass but upon closer inspection appeared to be carpet. Next to him lay two empty bottles of sake.

Remarkably the words of Naruto’s godfather managed to burst through the haze of confusion.

If you ever find yourself waking up in a strange place after a night of hard drinking you need to immediately try and remember three things. Where you should be, what you were doing before you blacked out and who you should be waking up with. Don’t even move until you can answer at least two out of three of those questions.

Though it felt as if a dozen galloping horses had been running through his head, Naruto willed himself to concentrate. Bits and pieces of his long term memory resumed functioning and what he remembered brought a smile to his face.

He was in Amegakure. He was in their recently built Imperial hotel, and he was here because these were historic times. He was here for the first ever chunin exam completely sponsored by the United Shinobi Forces.  The chunin exam was now a multinational biennial examination featuring hundreds of genin gathered from every shinobi village that was a current member of the ever-growing shinobi alliance. And if that wasn’t impressive enough it also doubled as a Kage summit.

The Kages of each nation would come together to discuss worldly matters while the youngsters of their villages attempted to advance in the ranks.

It was an unprecedented event and undeniably a significant step towards peace talks on a continental scale.  

And it was all his idea.

Naruto sat up and grinned. He had spent a tremendous part of his first years as Hokage working diligently to convince the others Kages and daimyos to support this exam.

His grin widened when he recalled the grand festivities of the opening ceremonies. All his hard work had paid off.

So why had he had been black-out drunk again?

The reason for his current wretched state broke the surface of his consciousness. His grinned faded.

Oh no

He groaned loudly conscious of the fact that each individual Kage had the luxury of having an entire floor to themselves. No one was likely to hear his hangover pains.

Naruto picked himself off the hotel room’s kitchen floor. Stumbled into the living room area and plopped himself on the comfy couch there.

Drawing in a deep breath Naruto thanked his lucky stars that the Kages had voted against bringing their families to the summit for safety reasons. Hinata for sure would not have been pleased to see him a state.

“This is not exactly Kage behavior” He told himself.

Then again granny drank like a fish and she did a great job. I should ask her for tips on how to handle my drinks better.

A knock on the hotel room door reverberated through his entire body.

“Who is it?!” Naruto called out as he massaged his forehead.

“It’s Sai.”

“Come in!”

The door swung open and Sai quietly entered the room.

“Good morning, are you feeling alright?” Sai asked when standing before Naruto.

“How drunk was I last night Sai?” Naruto groaned.

“Very”

“In public?”

“No you restrained yourself to the hotel for the most part.”

“Good.” Naruto studied his friend and current bodyguard. He pointed at the notebook Sai held in his hands.

“What’s that?”

“This is Sakura’s journal.” Sai replied.

Naruto stared in horror at the book.

“Why did you have that?” He said with his voice cracking.

“You ordered me to take it from her room.”

Naruto hung his head in shame.

Sai shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “May I ask you something?”

“Go ahead” Naruto said bracing himself

“How did you know she had this journal?”

“She told me she started writing in a journal after Sarada started in the academy.”

“I see. So this is a prank? I noticed you and Sakura had regained your past playfulness."

Naruto ran both hands across his face. "You noticed that huh?"

"It is my job to pay attention."

“Well you are right. It’s a prank gone horribly wrong” Naruto said solemnly.

“It is a very brave prank” Sai said.

“Sai from now on don’t take orders from me when I am drunk.”

Sai considered this for a moment. “So if you are drunk and we are attacked and you order me to save your life I should not follow those orders.”

Naruto sighed. “Okay let’s revise that. If I am drunk and I give you an order that could get us both killed, like stealing Sakura’s personal things for example, don’t just follow those orders blindly, use your better judgment.”

Sai nodded in acquiescence. “I understand. So what do I do with this? I’m sure she will notice that it’s missing by now”

Naruto held his hand out. “Give it to me. I’ll give it back to her.....when y’know the prank is done.”

Sai hesitated.

“I won’t tell her you helped me.”

Sai let out a sigh of relief and handed the notebook over to the Hokage. Naruto casually placed the book beside him on the couch and quickly dismissed Sai from the room.

When Sai’s footsteps had receded from earshot Naruto glanced guilty at the journal. If he had been in the right state of mind he would have never ordered the journal to be stolen. But he had and since it was already here.

He had a question that needed answering so his desire for answers overcame his shame.

Naruto picked up the journal and quickly scanned its interior. He noticed that each page was dated so he quickly skimmed to the latest entry. According to the date listed Sakura had jotted it down last night.

Naruto began to read

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feb 16: 7:30pm

“What do you want Uchiha-san?” Naruto slurred to me when I entered his room.

I suppose “Uchiha-san” was supposed to hurt me but he was the one who flinched at his own words. As if he had tossed explosives at me but was standing too close to the explosion to avoid the sharpnel.

Naruto groaned loudly and put his face into his hands. He pressed his palms against his eyes until he saw pink dots.

So stupid...so embarrassing...I am the Hokage of the Leaf...I am a father.....What the heck am I doing?

Every fiber in Naruto’s being told him he should close the journal now march to Sakura’s room and beg for her forgiveness.

He would ask for forgiveness.....after he had validated his suspicions

With a specific date in mind Naruto returned to the journal.  

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

October 9th 12pm:

Nothing really could shatter the relative peace of my daily routine like the Hokage showing up at my front door.

Under most circumstances such an event would call for bowing or the recitation of oaths and other such expressions of loyalty and subordination. I am however one of the few people in any village who is fortunate enough to be able to greet the Kage of the Leaf at the door with a warm hug. I led him to the kitchen where I served him tea as if he were a neighbor stopping by for the latest gossip

We chit-chatted a little about our families Sarada and Boruto specifically. During the first pause in the conversation Naruto asked me to once again be a part of a historic event.

According to Naruto the medical staff that will treat injured genin during the exam will be a collation of different medics from different villages. And apparently my Hokage had it in his mind to suggest to the alliance that I lead the medical team.

I wasn’t sure what to say so I just said the obvious, besides the occasional emergency I hadn’t done any consistent medical work in years. Naruto then casually hinted that the council had mentioned the same thing when he had suggested my name as head representative of the village’s medical corps. He actually grinned mischievously as he implied that I was being slighted by the village elders.

Naruto admittedly had played a good hand. I was sufficiently annoyed at being looked down upon but it wasn’t enough to entice me back to active duty. I had stepped away from being an active kunoichi to raise my daughter. Naruto was asking me to spend a seventeen days away from my child.

“If you believe your skills have diminished it’s fine....” he had said flagrantly adding fuel to my fire.

I replied rather indignantly that I was as sharp as I had ever been. However Naruto Tsunade or even Shizune would be better fits at this time.

He said nonchalantly, “They are better fits if you say no.”

At that point I thought I had been saying “no” just in a very polite way. The problem that I saw however was that though inactive I was still a kunoichi and Naruto despite our history was my boss. So refusing outright was in all likelihood insubordination.

As if reading my mind he said, “I am not ordering you to do this. I came here personally to ask you to do me a favor as a friend and not the Hokage. I wish to rely on your...”

He paused I suppose he was searching for the right word. He looked me in the eyes and said “expertise.”

I said yes despite the maternal guilt. My parents would watch over Sarada while I was away, she would be fine until I returned.

Now I do not regret agreeing to leading the alliance medical staff but I do regret what happened immediately after I had agreed to help.

I walked Naruto to the door and just as he had finished saying goodbye I kissed him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto glared dumbfounded at the journal.

That was it? That’s all she had to say about it?

Naruto thought back to the kiss. The problem was that the kiss had been too good. No that wasn’t right, saying it was good immediately created comparisons with the kisses he had shared with his wife. The first time he had kissed Hinata he thought that was good as well. No good wasn't the right word, good wouldn’t have affected him the way that it had. This kiss it had a lot of weight to it a lot of history attached to it.

It just fit.

It was exactly how he had used to imagine kissing Sakura would feel. It was something undefinable, it was, it was,

Us, it was just us

Even now he could taste her on his lips.

Wait....this might be a good thing.

It occurred to him then that he may have been looking at things from the wrong perspective. If the kiss was meaningless to Sakura he could accept it as a fluke. It would be okay, all he had to do was confirm for sure that the kiss meant nothing. Then things would go back to normal.

He continued reading skimming quickly through any entries that did not appear to offer any clues to the answer he was seeking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dec 9th:  9:30pm

I’ve tried to keep from dwelling on it. But its officially been a month since I kissed Naruto. The odd thing is that I am still not sure if anything has really changed.

After the kiss when Naruto wordlessly stumbled out the door I was afraid that our friendship was at risk. And my fears multiplied as the days went by without any word from him. But as I think deeper on it the last time I had anything close to a meaningful conversation with Naruto was during Sarada’s birthday party earlier this year. And before that was Boruto’s birthday party. We were two adults who only seemed to converse during our children’s birthdays or village holidays. Perhaps nothing changed and we’ve simply fallen back to our usual routine.

I had briefly considered walking over to his office and apologize. But I thought better of it. Maybe it was better to simply let it fade into history. Maybe that’s what Naruto is doing letting it fade.

For now though the kiss still lingers with me.

In its wake I felt sensual, womanly, I suppose that’s the effect a good kiss could have on a person

But I felt immensely guilty as well.

I suppose that’s what a good kiss from someone who is not your husband could have on a  person

Naruto’s face went successively from a look of surprise to astonishment, from astonishment to joy, from joy to shame, from shame to worry.

He closed his eyes drew in a deep breath. when he reopened his eyes he began flipping through the pages, he had another specific date in mind

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jan 26: 9pm: The road to Amegakure

Naruto insisted on everyone leaving at the same time. His bodyguards, his administrative staff, the genin, would be spectators, everyone marched out of the village in unison creating the effect of a mini-parade. Villagers cheered on our departure and the faces of the genin glowed with pride and excitement .

Instant morale.

Being Hokage wasn’t just about being strong you needed to understand people. It seemed Naruto had a firm grasp on that concept

Speaking of Naruto I have yet to speak with him since our last encounter. I am not sure if he’s avoiding me or I am avoiding him. All of our communications in the last few weeks have been via messengers or emails from his secretarial staff.

I am not sure if he is avoiding me or if he is just busy.

On a more positive note I used most of the day to refresh my friendship with Sai. To be honest things started out a little rough as he had greeted me this morning with what I suppose he considered a compliment

“I’ve noticed that you’ve lost a lot of weight. I am very impressed since you had Sarada and stopped being on active duty I never thought I’d see you this thin again.”  

I gave him a friendly tap against the skull with my fist. Our conversations from then on were much more amiable.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jan 27th 2:37 pm:

Met with Naruto, finally, unexpectedly.

I was walking along the road so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn’t noticed his approach. It was an eerie coincidence because I was thinking about him one moment and then suddenly I felt a masculine presence at my side. Time and old age had yet to work their magic on Naruto’s speed.

He greeted me with practiced stoicism as we walked shoulder to shoulder. “Sakura I would like to converse with you.”

Momentarily caught off guard by his statuesque stiffness I hesitantly agreed. I looked around the nearest shinobi was well out of earshot. This was as private as it was going to get.

I turned to Naruto and stared forward his eyes on the road. He was at that moment essentially The Seventh.

Of the many brief but complaisant conversations I’ve had with Sasuke in the last two years was about the changes in Naruto. I asked if he had noticed that Naruto was less boisterous, less energetic. Sasuke had noticed, but it was he claimed the unfortunate cost and burden of leading men.

“Nothing stays the same forever Sakura.”

From a practical standpoint I knew Sasuke had been right about Naruto, some change was to be expected but how much was too much?

“I wanted to thank you for coming Sakura. This is the first time you’re spending time away from your daughter and I know that can be hard.”

I told him that I missed her a ton. And that I knew if she were here right now she would have likely told the Hokage to his face that this whole procedure was silly.

I mimicked Sarada’s voice

“Everyone walking to Amegakure like this is silly, why does the Hokage where that hat it’s silly, mama you’re silly.”

I looked over at Naruto to see that he had quirked half a smile. And just like that we were friends again.

I asked him then if he had cried the first time he had left for a summit and had to say goodbye to Boruto and Himawari.

He cleared his throat. “I may have teared up a little.”

The strongest Kage in the world tearing up over his children. I found the image sweet and I told him that. Visibly embarrassed he quickly changed the subject.

“I simply wanted to say that your village thanks you for your service.”

I replied that if the village was ever in any serious need I would be glad to offer my services however if I were to be honest I was going to Amegakure because he asked.

“I am doing you a favor remember? Now if can you do me a favor, please stop it with that too-serious face. I am finding it very distracting.”

Naruto snorted and looked off for a moment. When he turned his attention back to me he had a familiar playful smile on his face.

“You know Sakura one day you will notice that I am your boss.”

I informed him quickly that I had no problem having him as my boss. I simply preferred he talk to me with his normal face.

He conceded the point and carried on.

“I was just trying to say I am glad you came.”

I let out a laugh and revealed a bit of insight that had dawned on me since we left the village. I told him that I knew for sure that part of the reason he had dragged me out of my home was so he can brag about this grand historic event.

Naruto’s face shone with childish delight. “Why would I brag about this? It wasn’t all my idea.”

I explained my reasoning to him. The exam was mostly his idea and it’s not what people expected from him. Of course if there were a super strong tyrant out there people would expect him to go out and punch someone in the face. This was different, this was about ideas, culture, diplomacy, this was proof that he was not just a near limitless source of chakra.

I looked over at Naruto to see that he could hardly suppress a grin.

I continued. “I can see it clearly now. We are going to get to this huge event and you are going to point at the crowd and say Sakura “this is my baby.’ Then I am going to say Naruto you are the coolest guy. Because that's what you want to hear me say.”

He laughed, it was a contagious laugh and so I laughed too. I pleased by the return of his carefree laugh. It had been awhile. Eventually the laughter had to settle, and that’s when things turned serious. It was actually my fault since I noticed that he wasn't getting enough sleep.

“There are shadows beneath your eyes. And you seem restless” I said to him.

“There has been a lot on my mind recently” Naruto declared.

It was an open secret that Naruto and Shikamaru had spent the better part of the entire year leading up to the exam burning candles at both ends in the Hokage office. The fruits of their labor were dozens of revolutionary proposals to present to the other Kages.

His voice lowered to just a cut above a whisper.

“Work has kept me up most nights. But you know what hasn’t helped me sleep either? That kiss.”

I felts some color coming to my cheeks coming but I suppressed it. I think. I hope I did.

“You should be angry at me” I told him.

“I am not mad at you. I am just confused.”

“You shouldn't be confused.”

“I shouldn’t be, but I am.”

“Please don’t be confused it shouldn't have happened.”

“It shouldn’t have, but it did.”

“You shouldn’t even think about it”

“I shouldn’t but I do.”

That was the totality of our conversation about this kiss give or take one to two minutes of awkward silence in between each statement.

We didn’t even look at each other. Which worked out for the best since we immediately noticed that we were rapidly catching up to the  group walking ahead of us.

As softly and quickly as I could I reiterated that it had been a mistake and that I was sincerely sorry that it had happened.

Naruto cocked his head to the side and looked at me questioningly. His eyes were searching. For what I don’t know.

“Don't worry about it. Let's just consider it a private joke between friends.”

“A joke?” I asked.

“A private joke, something we can laugh about it later.”

I agreed to these guiltless terms.

He nodded to me. “I should go, let us speak on this matter on another day.”

The Seventh had returned and he quickened his pace to break away from me.

“Try and get some rest tonight.” I called out to his back.

Naruto slowed his pace and turned to me. He chuckled softly. “Jiraiya used to say there is no rest for the wicked Sakura. But maybe he should have said there is no way to rest with wicked thoughts.”

This time I believe color did rise to my face but luckily Naruto had already turned away likely grinning like a fool.

I saw then that his intent was to tease me about the kiss likely for the rest of our lives.

He was a monster but we were still great friends.  

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto sighed, he had been joking but some jokes still held a grain of truth.

That stupid kiss. It had burned him for weeks now. How many nights had he shamefully awoke hard with desire and stunned at the good fortune that he hadn’t called out Sakura’s name while his wife slept.

He wasn’t proud about it. But there were times when the ache was overbearing and he reached out to Hinata to satisfy the need. Their lovemaking would be furious then, fiery and explosive. But it wouldn’t ever fully satisfy the desire. That lingered like a minor burn crying out for a soothing salve.

Naruto sighed again and kept reading.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Jan 28th 2 AM: The road to Amegakure

Can’t sleep

Why did that idiot have to say that?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jan 31: 10:30 PM: Amegakure : Imperial Hotel

The eve of the first ever Allied Shinobi Chunin Exams was an exciting one for good and bad reasons.

Being a part of the Hokage’s inner circle landed me in party full of diplomats, Kages, and pure blooded nobility. Luckily I had assumed the entire event would be one long party so I had packed the proper attire for formal and informal celebrations.

For the party I reacquainted myself with an old classic. A short strapless black dress with open toed shoes that was simple but elegant enough for this sort of affair. I flitted from conversation to conversation like a social butterfly but all the while I kept an eye out for Naruto.

He had been stalking the other side of the room with a seemingly paradoxical look of predatory stoicism on his face. He held the posture of a shinobi of great importance, relaxed enough to be approachable without subverting the objective fact that he could the entire room if came to that. It wasn’t until Gaara joined his company that the usual gentle light returned to his eyes.

Besides Gaara the only person Naruto seemed to really have a report with was the man who consistently appeared by his side to refill his champagne glass.

I would have to keep an eye on that.

It was actually when Naruto had looked up from the bottom of an emptied glass that he caught me in a stare.

His mouth spread into a pleased grin and I could feel mine do the same. We maintained eye contact from across the room until some VIPs invited themselves to Naruto’s personal space. He greeted them and I turned away to search for a bite to eat.

I did feel the pangs of maternal guilt throughout the night and I tried to embrace it as punishment for leaving Sarada behind. But in the end it was impossible to fight the creeping sensation that I was having a good time. Especially when I was pulled into a group of high ranking medics from Amegakure. Initially they picked my brain about Tsunade’s methodology but it soon became a fascinating discussion on current breakthroughs in medical research.   

It was an enjoyable conversation though I was the only female in the group and the only one in our mini party with a ring on my finger. It didn’t really surprise me at all when the occasional subtly suggestive remark was floated in between talks of medicine and anatomy. Most of them tested the wasted the waters but I deflected their inquiries with grace and politeness.

They were harmless.  

The real troublemaker arrived forty minutes into the conversation.

“Excuse me gentlemen may I speak to my head medic for a moment.”

The medics scattered like lowly bureaucrats before a lord at the sight of Naruto’s presence.

“Well I didn’t mean for them to take off like that” Naruto said sheepishly.

Though to me he appeared to be rather pleased with himself.

When he turned to me and I asked, “Your head medic? I thought I was working for the Alliance”

He smiled, “no you’re still mine-the village’s medic I am simply showing you off.”

“Oh like a pony’ I retorted.

“A prized pony.”

A question occurred to me then but I kept it to myself until we were in a less public setting. Instead I asked what Naruto wanted to talk to me about. He replied without looking directly at me that he simply wanted to know if I was enjoying the party.

As I was explaining that I was enjoying it more than I expected his eyes flickered suddenly. I sensed him look me over more than than I saw the total movement of his eyes. That kind of subtlety could have helped Naruto graduate at the head of the academy.

As I was trying wrap my mind around the implication of this. He excused himself politely but abruptly from my company.  

When he rejoined Gaara and melted back into a crowd of diplomats I assumed that would be the last I saw of him that night.

I was wrong. Because when I returned to the floor of my hotel a few hours later I found him waiting just outside my door.

“I left early” he said answering the obvious question in the air.

“And you came here.”

“No, I went to my room first.”

I sniffed. “And then you pigged out on some ramen?”

“How did you know?” he asked.

I told him that I smelled it on him.

I then noticed a piece of noodle that lingered in the corner of his mouth. I reached out to wipe it away but then I realized how much of an intimate gesture that would have  been. This sudden onset of self awareness paralyzed me and my hand just hovered in the air between us.

I pointed to his mouth, "You've got some noodle on your lips"

“Oh” Naruto swiped at his mouth and I willed my hand down to my sides.

I let him know that he should really cut down on the ramen,

“But it’s delicious.”

I shook my head and wondered aloud how is was it that Naruto had mastered senjutsu training but he didn't have the discipline to keep a healthier diet.

“It’s really simple Sakura, I wanted to master senjutsu.”

“So what’s your question?” I asked him.

“Why did you kiss me?”

I let out a long slow breath before I answered. “You caught me at a bad time.”

He eyed me skeptically.

Words simply flowed out of my mouth. “I had been up earlier than usual. Sarada was asleep, she wasn’t going to wake up for another hour. The house is bigger than it looks Naruto. Sometimes it echoes.”

I waited for Naruto to reply but he remained silent. He was wearing the face of the Hokage again.

“I was lonely. It was a mistake” I added.

“Okay” He said dispassionately. “I understand.’

I had a question for him.

With my voice tinged with irritation I said  “I’ve been thinking about it since it happened. When you broke up the enjoyable conversation I was having with the Amegakure medics. Were you just looking out for Sasuke’s wife?”

He cringed, breaking his Hokage face. Then immediately denied my accusation.

“Are you sure you don’t feel obligated to protect the virtue and honor of your best friend’s wife.”

Naruto cleared his throat. “I admit I noticed some of them flirting with you. I admit that. But imagine this, I do nothing, one of them gets fresh, all of a sudden I hear “shannaro” right before I see a Amegakure medic being transported across the room with a broken jaw via your first. Alright now Amegakure demands you be arrested, I decline their request, they declare war on us I have to declare war on them. They attack us our defense obliterates their forces. Losing the war affects their economy and they fall into a depression. If I was protecting anyone here it’s Amegakure.”

It was a deflection but it was a very amusing one. It was enough to sway me towards forgiveness. Whatever Naruto’s intentions were I was at the very least sure they came from a good place.

“So I can assume you are not here watching my door like a guard dog for Sasuke’s sake?”

He sighed. “No, that was the last thing on my mind.”

“Good. And I can take care of myself.”

He put his hands in the air as if to surrender. “I know, I know. I am sorry if it came across that way.”

I nodded in acceptance of his apology. “But Naruto, wouldn’t fighting a war over me extend the cycle of hatred?”

He thought about this. He actually paused to consider this.

“I guess there are exceptions to the rule.”

“Doesn’t your office support pacifism?”

“Sakura it’s closer to a non-aggression principle.”  Naruto then gave me a cheeky look that seemed to say I’ve come a long way. Are you impressed?

I was impressed for the record.

“Alright Naruto if by chance I punch a foreign ally I give you permission to allow me to be arrested, ok? If I happen to break decade long peace treaties feel free to just let me go.”

He paused.

“I don’t think I can let you go.” And he quickly tagged on, “As a Hokage I have an obligation to protect my people.”

There had been something about the tone of the first half of his statement that had an immediate affect on me. Goosebumps ran up and down my flesh so I responded with a general but true statement about how loyalty to his people was what made him a good leader. I then slipped my key into the door and unlocked it just do something other than stare awkwardly at Naruto.

I heard him say over my shoulder because as I was at that moment trying not to look at him. “You looked beau-nice tonight.”

I quickly turned to face him. Not sure why now that I think about it.  

“Well you are just being kind.”

His eyes softened. “No I am not.”

“Well thank you, I guess its not bad for a mama huh? You also looked nice tonight, very handsome actually. If I were single well.....I mean..If we were both single...y’know...maybe. Who knows right? If things were completely different than how they are now....”

He looked at me clearly confused as if I had broken the married man and married woman’s neutral compliment pact.

“Sakura are you alright?”

I told him I was fine. Which was technically the truth. I was physically very healthy.

“May I ask another question?”

I nodded to him.

“Why is it that I am having a hard time believing you?”

“About what?”

“The kiss.”

He took a half step forward me. My instinctual response to this was to lean my back against the door for support. Of course it popped open and I stumbled backwards inside. I floundered for about three stumbling steps before I caught myself with as much grace as I could muster. I looked up at Naruto and asked, as if it was what I had in mind all along, if he wanted to come inside to talk.

He consider it quietly for a long, long, long time.  Then he smiled before slowly backing away for the doorway, apologizing and announcing that it was best for him to go get some sleep.

I readily agreed I recommended a minimum of eight hours.  

I didn’t let go of my breath until Naruto was gone and I had locked the door .

Overall I suppose, despite the very clear and present danger I had faced at this event. I had a good time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With the journal in hand Naruto paced the living room of his hotel. He remembered the night of the party very well. The kiss had been the catalyst of course. That had been the source of the leaks that left him in a consistent state of emotional confusion. The party however was where the dam had burst and his emotional unraveling had truly begun. .

He actually had never seen Sakura looking as lovely as she did that night. or maybe he had, maybe she had looked as lovely at her wedding. Then, he had simply felt legitimately happy for his friends and there was nothing more to it. There was definitely something more going on now something more than friendly.

He had spent the initial moments of the party disoriented, like a man suddenly regaining his sight after being blind for fifteen years. Rather than being drawn to her like a month to a flame Naruto had deliberately stayed to one side of the room to avoid her. His tactic had worked until the Amegakure medics arrived to the scene. When they had surrounded Sakura, when she had happily become lost in the conversation and lost to the room. He felt something he had not felt in a long time.

At first it had manifested in amusement.

These guys are pretty lucky that Sasuke isn’t here

As the conversation continued it became impatience.

Talking for so long to another man’s wife those guys are pretty lucky I’m not Sasuke

As the conversation continued it became irritation.

If I were Sasuke, I would be using my eyes to ignite things from across the room by now

And then.

If I were Sasuke....

The visual came to him immediately, he saw himself henging into Sasuke taking Sakura by the hand, leading her away from the wolves and back to their room. Where he would breathe her in, taste her. Touch her like she wanted to be touched until he could feel her essence coursing through his blood.

Naruto stopped the visual now as he had then with a vigorous shake of his head as if he were a wet dog.

He had been jealous, passionately jealous. And next thing he knew he had been standing right beside her in front of a hotel door. Him smelling of ramen and her of sweet perfume.

The moth had been drawn to the flame and he had been burned into cinders.

Naruto knew one thing. When a husband is jealous over his wife, he worries that he might be losing her. Sakura was not his wife. How could he be worried about losing something he never had?

That’s what I need to find out.

Naruto returned to the journal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feb 01: 10:30 AM:

In the morning I watched Naruto give a speech to genin. I had not expected to be a part of that moment. I’d simply decided to stop by and greet the Leaf academy students before they set off for Amegakure’s version of the Forest Death. I gave them a few quick and easy medical tips. Some advice that could potentially help if they happened to be injured and waiting for an Allied instructor to pull them from the arena.

As I was about to leave Naruto arrived and he went to work quickly.

Initially it started as one might expect, you represent the village now, make your families proud, you are the future of Konohagakure. The genin of course gave Naruto the kind of attention one would give a living legend. But he really grabbed their hearts and minds when he told them a fable once told to him by Jiraiya.

It was a tale about a race of sage birds who dwelled deep within the darkest rainforest in the world.  Generations earlier the sage birds had secured this rainforest as their native homeland because of its abundance of resources and lack of natural predators. The sage birds had everything they needed in the rainforest except consistent sunlight.

So even though the top canopy of the rainforest blocked over ninety percent of the sunlight from the sage birds they learned to thrive on the forest floor. They lived peacefully and comfortably and without the need to fly.  After a few decades the sage birds had stopped teaching flight and soon enough most of them had forgotten this ability altogether.

There however came one sage bird who loved the sunlight. On the rare occasions that a stream of light managed to reach the forest floor this bird bathed in it’s warm touch. When he heard tales of how his people used to fly he began to dream of soaring above the trees and being embraced by the delicious rays of the sun.

This bird studied under all the sage elders, he unearthed the lost histories of his people, he rediscovered the ability of flight. And as soon as he was physically able to do so the sage bird took off into the air and burst through the canopy.

Unfortunately a storm had been brewing over the rainforest and the sage bird once again found himself shielded from the light. This time not by leaves but by ever growing dark clouds. Distraught but not deterred the sage bird realized he only knew two things for sure. One that beyond those storm clouds awaited the warming glow of the sun. Two the sun on his feathers was what made him truly happy. With the dreams of gliding between sunrays in his heart the sage bird soared right into heart of the storm.

And he was never seen or heard from again.

After the story Naruto announced that there were a number of morals to the tale. It was likely a cautionary fable against impulsive foolish behavior, against impatience, against arrogance. On a deeper level it could be seen as a story about being greedy or simply an observation of human nature and how people are never content or satisfied with what they have. Naruto conceded that all of these wise interpretations were valid. However when he had first heard the story from Jiraiya he had not considered any of that. He actually admired the bird, he thought it was courageous for the bird to risk the dangers of the storm for his dream.

Naruto had grinned broadly at the genin. He told them how as an adult he can see now that either interpretation held some validity since the lines between courageousness and foolishness, selfishness and selflessness can easily blur.

“What if I told you that the life of a sage bird was far less than that of a human. What if I told you the sage bird spent most of his life learning how to fly. And he knew he only had weeks left to live, no days? Would it change the way you think about the story? Would it change the way you think about the Sage Bird?”

He continued by telling the genin that there would be a moment during the exam where they will think to themselves it was ok to quit now. That they could just try again later. That the two years until the next exam would go by quickly.

Naruto went on to say depending on the situation this could be the most reasonable point of of view in the world. But they assume, and it was admittedly a reasonable assumption to make, that the exams would be around in two years. That they would be around in two years. Sometimes he said whether you know it or not you only get one chance.

“If you get that chance, the opportunity to be be happy to fulfill a dream...”

He paused.

“Some birds may be okay singing and dancing on the forest floor. That’s fine, that can be a happy and fulfilling life for many birds. But if you are the type of bird that dreams of the sun. You may find that to get to its warm embrace you have to face the rain. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth the risk.”  

The genin departed for the first of two phases of the exam with gallantry and vigor in their hearts. It was ironically the Hokage that lingered tentatively in their wake.  I followed him for a little bit as he walked about aimlessly around the campus grounds. When there was a comfortable distance between us and the bodyguards I matched his pace and nudged him playfully with my shoulder.

I told him how similar we were in many ways. I got that kind of bittersweet feeling every time the exams come around as well.

“It just means we’re getting old” I joked.

He appeared surprised by my presence for a moment. Then he chuckled warmly.  “It might be something a bit more than that.”

I asked him to elaborate. He shook his head and mentioned that it was no big deal.

Naruto then craned his head back, looked up into the sky and I said. “You know Sasuke really should be here with us.”

I couldn’t disagree with him.

Despite the currently flawed state of my marriage and the currently awkward status of my relationship with Naruto, there would always be an “us” in some way or some form.  “We” would always exist

I suppose neither of us had anymore to say about my husband so we continued walking.

“Sakura, you think I’ve changed don't you?” Naruto asked after a few quiet minutes.

"Why would you say that?” I asked back.

“It must be obvious. I know the way I look at some things has changed.  When I was younger I would try and break every single rule if it got me some attention. Then I felt like there wasn’t a rule I wouldn’t break to protect my friends. Now, well life can be so complicated. I am starting to think-”

He glanced at me, unemotional.

“-I do think that maybe the only way to keep it simple is to keep to the rules.”

Not knowing exactly how to respond I said,  "Funny how things change"


Impassively, Naruto studied my face,“So you do think there's been a significant change?"

"I think your priorities have changed a lot but your heart is always in the right place.”

Naruto looked at me in an odd mixture of surprise and hurt mingled with appreciation. I can only assume in hindsight that this had been the first time anyone had acknowledged Naruto’s change, at least to his face.

“I couldn't be the Hokage and still be....I had to mature to become the kind of man a Hokage should be be.”

“Oh you've matured? I hadn’t noticed.” I said teasingly.

He looked at me with amusement in his eyes. “I am mature I read books now.”

I asked him what kind of books did he read.

“Literature” he said a grin forming on his face.

“Oh what kind of literature?”

“The classics.”

“Like what?”

He glanced up into the air. “The Lighthouse on the Mountop. Its not a well known book but its classic.”

I laughed out loud. “You just made that up.”

He chuckled. “Sakura do not be jealous that I am more well read than you are.”

“You are not” I challenged. “Who is the author of The Lighthouse on the Mountop?”

“Questioning your Hokage is an arrestable offense” He replied.

“I am sorry Hokage-sama” I said wiping tears of laughter from my eyes.  

After a quiet moment Naruto turned to me with a smirk on his face and said, “What did you do to me?”

I asked him what he meant by that. So he leaned in close and whispered conspiratorially. “Ever since you kissed me my mind has been cluttered with unnecessary thoughts.”

Abruptly Naruto’s stomach collided with my fist.

“That’s the kind of joke you want to crack in public?” I whispered back to him.

Naruto half laughed, half coughed as he bent over at the waist. He quickly turned away from me and towards the approaching bodyguards. Continuing to laugh-cough Naruto waved them back to their original positions with one hand while massaging his gut with the other.

When they were back in place Naruto returned his attention to me. Still trying to catch his breath, he plopped down on the ground to collect himself. I did likewise. I sat facing him

Naruto continued laughing “You know how long its been since someone hit me?”

“I didn’t hit you that hard.” I said now slightly embarrassed.

He laughed again and I was suddenly struck by nostalgia.

“Naruto don't change too much okay?”

“That is a  promise I can't make.” He pointed to his hat. “I had to redefine myself to be worthy of this hat and I’ll have to improve myself further to keep being worthy of it.”

He sighed and smiled at me.

“Some things may change Sakura, but you will always be sorta scary to me.”

I scoffed. “And you will always be an idiot to me.”

He grinned. “That’s fine. I don’t think I mind that at all”

It was one of Naruto’s better grins. It flashed and reflected in the Amegakure sun and I was suddenly infused with a vibrant energy that I think will carry me through the rest of the day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feb 05: 11:30 AM:

Naruto and I have fallen into some strange kind of routine. At least “routine” is the only word I can think of at the moment to describe these successive encounters.

We see each other frequently but between the summit meetings and him monitoring the progress of the exam we barely utter more than a few phrases to each other.

Maybe I am being too generous calling them actual encounters. Especially if the majority of them consist of us simply passing by each other as we head off in opposite directions. He would be the Seventh then, surrounded by important people chattering in his ear. They would stop at seemingly random intervals and Naruto would then make some concise authoritative statements to no one in particular. The moment he stopped talking the chatter would start up again.

Whenever I get close enough to this cavalcade Naruto’s eyes would abruptly cut towards me and I’d see a smile dance at the corners of her lips.

I don’t know why but I don’t say “hello”, I don’t wave, I simply meet his gaze. And in the time it takes to draw in a breath he is back to the Seventh and I turn away.

The discreetness of the entire exchange is odd. I’m not sure how to describe the tangible undercurrent of these moments.

Is it it residual awkwardness from the kiss? Why would it manifest itself like this? But the fact is each of these random seemingly banal moments somehow leaves me simultaneously terrified and elated.

I am a grown woman, a wife and a mother, what is wrong with me?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

All of it came vividly to Naruto’s mind. Their laughter, their easy conversation, the warm, secret glances they had exchanged.

He could remember it all without much effort.

Naruto stared at the journal. He wondered if he would have to order Sakura to destroy it.

With the damning evidence down on paper it all seemed obvious.

He kept reading.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feb 07: 10:30 AM:

I am not sure how concerned I should be about what just happened.

I was making the rounds in the emergency room when I saw Sai seemingly patrolling the area. The moment he caught sight of me he rushed over.

“He seems very upset” was all he said before gesturing for me to follow him.

“He” of course was Naruto.

Sai brought me to the the featured restaurant in the hotel where found Naruto sitting alone in VIP section clicking away at his laptop.

I mentioned to Sai that Naruto didn’t seem all that upset.

Sai shook his head,  “Do you know what he hates the most when he is working? When someone breaks his concentration.”

Sai pretended to trip and knocked a lone glass from an empty table to the ground. The glass shattered against the ground breaking the quiet stillness of the restaurant. Naruto’s head snapped up and his blue eyes blazed with shadowed intensity. When his eyes focused on us they immediately warmed.

Naruto generally wore his heart on his sleeve. But the more passionate versions of his emotions rarely broke through the surface.  For as long as I had know Naruto people’s first impressions of him was that he was an overly emotional kid. But if you paid attention you’d realize he knew how to govern his passions and master his emotions' to an enviable degree. If he wanted you to know he was angry you would see his frustration. If he didn’t want you to know he was sad you’d see a smile. What he expressed emotionally was completely contingent on what Naruto felt really mattered in any given situation.

After Sai helped a staff member clean up his mess. Naruto beckoned us to his table.

“You guys are just in time for lunch” He said.

We joined Naruto at his table and we ordered. As we ate I couldn’t help but notice that Naruto was being unusually quiet.  I pointed this and other subtle signs of his frustration out to him but Naruto deflected my observations.

As we neared the end of the meal Sai blurted out what I had been dancing around. "Naruto are you okay?"

A look of caution blossomed on Naruto’s face. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You seem upset”

“I am fine” Naruto said, looking at me but addressing both of us.

Before either of us could respond Naruto gestured to a passing waiter who was carrying a tray of drinks. He then asked if either of us wanted a drink.

“A little early for that don’t you think.” I remarked.

He laughed and told me that just now I sounded like Shikamaru. This did not deter him from ordering a cup of wine.

“You should watch yourself with the drinks Naruto.”

“Your concern is noted” He said after taking a big mouthful of wine.  

By the time we had finished lunch Naruto had confided in us. Well he told us as much as he could considering that what was discussed at Kage summit's was supremely confidential. Factions had sprung up among the Kages, mini alliances within the Alliance. Some of the new Kages from the more recent villages had decided that it was in their best interest to curb Naruto’s influence on the shinobi world. So they undermined his proposals forcing him to have to present them again after adding significant concessions.

“When I was just strong enough to save their lives they loved me. Now that I have ideas that may change their lives they are scared of me. And all I want to do is offer them a better chance at a lasting peace.”

“Some people want peace on their own terms” Sai said to Naruto.

It was very profound point. Unfortunately Sai continued to talk.

“Have you considered that your influence can reach beyond the Kages, to their council, to their people? With your status as a living legend many shinobi would prefer to be in your shadow rather than that of a Kage who is clearly inferior to you in strength. You can create factions in their village setting up the foundations for a coup d'etat. In two years time at the next summit meeting you reveal to the Kages that they can either submit to your will and stay as figurehead rulers of their village or they can face the humiliation of being stipped of their power by their village council.”

Naruto leaned back in his seat. “I had not considered Sai probably because I am not Danzo. Sometimes I forget that you used to be in ROOT.”

“I am just saying the easiest route for everyone would be to either single handedly or with Sasuke’s help wipe them all out in a magnificent display of power at the next summit, except for the Kazekage of course, then you declare yourself the Kage of Kages and have Sasuke as your--”

I interrupted Sai with a kick to his shins from beneath the table.

“Sai’s just trying to help” I told Naruto.

Naruto nodded patiently. “I know but Sai’s not that far away from what some people actually think I am capable of. That’s the frustrating thing about politics it's still a war just without bloodshed.”

Immediately after our lunch we were dismissed by the Seventh. Sai and I loitered at the table for a moment but Naruto’s focus was now completely on his laptop. We’d gotten as far as the entrance before I doubled back to Naruto’s table.

Upon reaching him I jumped right into narration. I told Naruto a brief story about Tsunade’s work ethic. Whenever Tsunade was working on a difficult project and things weren’t really clicking for her she’d end the night by saying “I have not failed I've actually discovered five hundred ways that won't work.: The night after if things still didn’t go well she’d say I have not failed I've actually discovered five hundred and one ways that won't work. She'd keep on going like that until she found the way that worked.”

Naruto tilted his head away from the screen just enough to show that he acknowledged my presence.

“I know you will find the right way Naruto because I still believe in you.” I blurted out to him. “Well I’m sure a lot of people probably still believe in you. I am definitely not claiming that I hold exclusive belief in you Naruto, I just wanted to remind you that I am still amongst those who still believe in you.”

Naruto turned away from the screen a smile slowly making its way across his lips.

"Thank you Sakura-c..." He swallowed his words, cleared his throat, swallowed again.

“Sakura being around you makes me feel very nostalgic.”

It was strange the way he said that—It did not come across as something he viewed as a positive.

“Thank you Sakura. You may go now.”

Once again I found myself in Naruto’s presence with nothing meaningful to say to him. I left and reconnected Sai outside the restaurant.

After talking it over for awhile. We have agreed to keep an eye on him from now on.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Feb 08: 9:00 AM:

Naruto (and the mass of people surrounding him) just stopped by the medical labs. All the medics and technicians stopped to stare at the legend as he walked towards me.

He asked me about the genin. I revealed that as of today no one had suffered any permanent injuries, and there were no casualties either.

He found this to be excellent news. Though of course he would have already known this because I had sent a report saying the same thing to him the night before. Naruto read all my reports before going into a summit meeting.

I caught his eye and added to my news that I was a little concerned about him. By the looks of it I did not think he was getting enough sleep.

He smiled, narrowing his eyes playfully “I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. Sleep is a luxury for a Kage”

I raised my fist. “Naruto if you insist on not getting adequate rest. I’ll put you to sleep myself.”

Naruto chuckled, and then following his cue the rest of the room chuckled. It was as if he had made the joke.

“I will definitely take that into consideration. I am sorry to have concerned you, but I will be fine.”

“Of course you will be fine sir, you are the strongest man I know” I said.

After then was gone leaving a buzz of excitement in his wake.

A young medic from Takigakure approached me tentatively and asked “You can call your Kage by his first name?”

I hope the next time Naruto wants to tell me he is okay he’ll not drop by the medical labs. It took me ten minutes to get everyone back to work.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feb 09: 8:00 AM

You never wake up in the morning hoping to have an emotionally exhausting day.

It all started when I made a startling discovery in the emergency room. The moment I had a break in my shift I made a beeline for Naruto’s room. Only to find a line waiting outside his door. Luckily I was only there for a few minutes when Sai stepped out of the room to inspect the line. As the head of Naruto’s personal guards he could just about walk in out of Naruto’s room at will. I let him now I had an urgent message to deliver and Sai did not hesitate to usher me through Naruto’s door to the dismay of the others on the line.  

“He’s being fitted for a custom robe right now, it’s a gift from the Amegakure council, but since you say it’s urgent...”

Sai led me through Naruto’s bedroom door, without bothering to knock. We walked in on a scene featuring two geriatric women fussing over the Hokage. Ignoring our sudden presence in the room they stretched cloth measuring tape across the width and length of his body.

Oh and Naruto was dressed only in his boxers.

Surprise flashed on his face when he was saw me but he reined it in with impressive swiftness. Then he addressed us as if were a normal occurrence for people to burst into his room.

“Is something the matter Sai?”

Sai related quickly that I had some urgent news for him. But by the time Naruto turned to me I had completely lost my train of thoughts. Or I should say my train of thoughts had left me behind, and a new breath stealing train of thoughts had taken its place.  

“What is your news Sakura?” Naruto asked.

I told him that I had two questions for him first.

“Are you wearing silk boxers?”

He nodded, embarrassment briefly coloring his face.  

Silk boxers, form fitting, obviously a wife’s gift to her husband. Hinata had gone shopping for these boxers and picked them out knowing his exact measurements, knowing for sure what looked good on him. These thoughts simply bloomed in my mind as pure facts rather than speculation. Exposed to these facts I should have been amused or indifferent to them but I found myself in a confusing state of ambivalence.

I went on to my next question.

“If you spend most of your time in your office how is that you are in better shape now then you were during the war?”

Naruto’s eyes shone with sudden mischief when he looked at me. He explained that it wasn’t enough to simply train one's mind for politics. The village head had to be in top physical shape at all times. So his exercise routine was as vigorous now as it had ever been.

When one of the elderly tailors wrapped a measuring tape around Naruto’s right arm. He flexed and his arm confessed to the room that it was indeed heavy with well defined muscle.

The old woman hanging on his arm cooed playfully while Naruto locked eyes with me.

“Not bad for a papa” Naruto said with a grin.

At that moment an odd comparison came to my mind. Sasuke and Naruto’s body matched their personalities fairly well. Sasuke was agile, wiry, lean, elusive. Of the two Naruto’s overall body had a bit more mass, he was sturdy, sinewy, unyielding, dependable.

“I have to say I am very impressed by how you’ve kept so fit” Sai said abruptly bringing me back down to earth.

Naruto gave Sai a look that seemed to express surprise at the fact of Sai still being in the room. He tentatively thanked Sai for the compliment and returned his attention to me. “The message Sakura?”

I glanced at the old women. Naruto took the hint and they were politely escorted out of the room a moment later. When they were gone I asked Naruto if it had been necessary for him to have been measured while in his boxers.

Seemingly confused by the question Naruto replied that the old women had insisted so it must have been necessary.

I kept my thoughts about that to myself of course.  There were more pressing concerns that moment anyway.

I informed Naruto that at that moment there was a genin team in the emergency room that had been deemed too injured to continue on with second stage of the exam. The genin team claimed that they had lost their scrolls to a team from Kirigakure who entrapped them in a poisonous mist.

Naruto frowned but noted that Kirigakure had some reputation for poisons techniques.

“Was it an unnecessarily lethal dosage?”

I told Naruto that they hadn’t been poisoned the way they thought they had been poisoned. They had instead been attacked with a nerve agent.

Naruto asked if I doubted the genin’s story.

I did not. Indeed there was enough traces of the poison on them to say they had been attacked by a poison mist technique. But their symptoms had not matched what should have happened when they got hit by a technique such as the one they been attacked with. What they had described was C-rank technique that caused coma like paralysis within seconds of exposure.  But before that one's lips and tongue deaden, then comes dizziness and vomiting, followed by numbness and muscle paralysis.

“It’s a bit of process.” I said to Naruto.

Naruto then asked the obvious. “What happened to the genin?”

I explained.

The genin had remembered salivating profusely then losing consciousness and then coming in and out of sleep dimly aware that most of their muscles had gone completely numb. I checked their clothing and found a very small concentration of a unique toxic compound that was not found in any known poison mist technique in use. The genin had somehow been tagged with the substance beforehand.

“So the poison mist was a coverup. To mask the actual attack. Those kids were being experimented on?”

“It looks like that.” I said solemnly. “It would have taken some time for the substance to seep from their clothes onto their skin. The poison mist attack was probably timed to match up with that”

I added to the bad news. “These genin might experience some long term effects, most of which will psychological.”

Then I added some more. “This is new Naruto, I’ve never seen this before. And in larger doses it has the potential to be devastating on a battlefield.”

“This was developed after the war?” Naruto inquired.

“I would think so.”

I saw something flash in Naruto’s eyes, something caught between hurt and anger. Then as quickly as it came it was gone. “Can antidotes be created?”

I hesitated

“In your opinion” Naruto added.

I answered sincerely. “I haven't looked into it too deeply but I have some ideas. There are other poisons that may actually be used as a countermeasure since they block acetylcholine receptors that...”

Naruto put his hand up. “You can keep the technical details Sakura. When we get home you can lead a research team to develop antidotes for this or any future surprises Kirigakure may have.”

I hesitated again. “I...”

Naruto grinned. “You’re great Sakura. You’ve brought some very critical information to my attention. I was right to put my confidence in you.”

I told him that I was honored and flattered but I’ll have to decline. I would share my thoughts with Tsunade and Shizune but I reiterated that I was committed to raising my daughter full time.

“And that is admirable. It is truly is. But maybe some kind of schedule can be worked out.” Naruto said.

I asked who would take care of Sarada while I’m working.

“When Sasuke comes back...”Naruto started

I cut him off. “When Sasuke comes back he won’t stay. He doesn’t stay.”

“In time.....I’ll talk to him.”

There was an unspoken “again” at the end of that statement. But I found myself wondering in a morbidly amused way what could Naruto possibly have said that Sasuke couldn’t see for himself when he said goodbye to his wife and child every few months?

I rattled off some obvious truths to Naruto. As hard is it might have been to believe I was not the wounded bird in my marriage. Sasuke needed to go out to find himself, and he needed to come home to a stable family to reset. He needed to find the answers out there, answers that couldn’t be found at hom.

“Alright, that’s a separate issue. We’ll address later. Here’s what is going on right now! I can’t help but feel that you are wasting something special. You are special Sakura.  One day you will wake and notice this but it’ll be too late!”

By then was infuriated by the parth the conversation had taken.

“I don't need you to save me from myself Naruto. How weak do you believe me to be?”

Sounding tired Naruto said, “Sometimes Sakura there is a pretty large difference between what you assume about my motivations and what my motivations actually are.”

I snapped at him. “Does Hinata wake up every morning to this lecture about being a full time mother?”

“Apples and oranges” Naruto growled.

“How do you figure that?”

“We’re talking about two different people. What makes her happy might not make you happy, what you makes you happy might not make her happy.”

“And you think you know what makes me happy?” I shouted at him.

“I know what used to make you happy and that used to be medical ninjutsu.”

“Maybe you are not the only one who has changed Naruto!”

It was then that Sai chimed in.

‘Sakura is right you’ve both changed to some degree. Yet you’ve changed in very similar manners. You two have found additional meaning in sacrifice, Naruto has sacrificed his personal time including time spent with his family to dedicate himself to being a Hokage. Sakura has sacrificed her desire to practice with medical ninjutsu to dedicate herself to her daughter. Similar ideals two different destinations.”

I locked eyes with Naruto for a moment and then we both turned to Sai.

“Sai you’re still here?” Naruto asked.

“Should I have not been?”

I knew exactly what Naruto was feeling. I had been so focused on the conversation I had completely forgotten that Sai had been in the room. I replayed the conversation in my head almost in a blind panic. I was terrified that something intimate might have been said in Sai’s presence.

Naruto asked Sai if he had overheard the entire conversation.

“Was that supposed to be a private moment?” Was Sai’s reply.

Naruto’s face was then suddenly caught in some odd transitional state in between being himself and panicking and being the Seventh and taking it in stride.  

"Anyway Sakura, thank you for informing-me-about the um critical data that we talked about before" he stammered.

With as much most rigid formality I could muster I managed to squeak out some form of “it was my pleasure Hokage-sama.”

Naruto cleared his throat before announcing that he would definitely have a long talk with the Mizukage at the next meeting about this travesty. After that we were quickly dismissed from the room.

As we stood outside of Naruto’s hotel room Sai turned to me with a very pleased look on his face and said; “I enjoy when we as a group have these frank and introspective discussions. It implies a closeness in our bond that I am truly fond of.”

At that point I was too emotionally spent to contemplate what Sai may or may not have picked up on or thought he picked up on during that conversation. I simply agreed with him and called it a day.  

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Feb 10: 6:00 AM

I had a dirty dream last night.

I haven’t had a dirty dream in a long time.

I am a grown woman, married, with a child. My days of dirty dreams should be long behind me. Yet it seems I had underestimated the lingering effects of seeing Naruto in his clingy boxers would have on me.

In the dream I was wearing the same black dress that I had worn at the opening ceremony except that I was now matching it with knee-high black leather boots. I strutted right into the Hokage’s office like I owned the place and no one in the receptionist's area had the nerve to say anything to me. When Naruto saw me come in he looked like he was ready to jump up from behind his desk.  

I brought a lone finger to my lips gesturing for him to be still and be silent. I quietly locked the door behind me and then I sauntered over to him. With one sweep of my hand I knocked Naruto’s laptop, his lamp and most of his papers off his desk. I laid down on top of it with my right leg bent and my left extended.

Naruto wordlessly placed his hand on my knee and ran his fingertips slowly along the inside of my thigh. I moaned softly when he leaned forward and kissed me on the side of my neck. I shivered when his fingers found their way beneath my dress traced along the edges of my panties. They patiently took the scenic route towards my core. I called out his name and responds Naruto kissed my neck again and bit gently into my skin.

I reached out and pulled his face roughly to mine. His hand slid into my panites.

He whispered my name into my mouth slowly and with promise just as fingers slipped inside me.

And then I woke up.

With my heart pounding and my breathing ragged I leaped into the shower. I spent a while in the shower.

I am not sure how I will able to look Naruto in the eyes today.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Putting the journal to the side, Naruto marched to the kitchen, poured himself a cup of ice water, and then proceeded to dump the ice water over his head.

He had never stopped being physically attracted to Sakura. Growing close to Hinata had not made Sakura less appealing to him it didn’t make her hideous. But it became a distant attraction like seeing a painting of beautiful woman. He could objectively say she was beautiful but had not felt the pull, the desire to be with her for years.

But then the kiss and suddenly it was like recalling specific details of a once vague memory.

The attraction returned. No it hadn’t simply returned. It had returned with a vengeance.

The attraction of his youth, simply wanting to get a kiss for her or peep at her nude body carried with it an underlying innocence. All of that was a product of wanting to get to know her, to get close to her.

His attraction had been limited by experience.

When you knew how it feels to have a woman’s body press against yours, when you’ve felt the heat of woman’s excitement, when know firsthand how the female body can soften and sigh and accommodate you, the feeling of her body clicking with yours and what it means to get lost inside her......

It made attraction a very different beast.

Now he wanted to posses her body and soul.

Naruto swiped at his wet forehead with his arms.

He wondered if Sakura made love with her eyes closed or did one see her eyes cloud with desire. Did soft moans escape her lips or did she cry out in ecstasy at the to of her lungs.

He poured himself another glass of ice water, dumped it over his head, and returned to the journal.  

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Feb 11: 10:00 PM

I’ve spent the day looking Naruto directly in the eyes whenever I see him. If I look anywhere else I flashback to him in his boxers.  

Not looking forward to sleeping tonight.  If I have another dirty dream I might wake up feeling guilty. If I don’t have another dirty dream I might wake up disappointed.

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Feb 12: 11:30 PM

Some things are so unexpected that no one is prepared for them.

Since the start of the exams its been a rare treat for Naruto Sai and I to be free for an entire evening. Tonight an opportunity had presented itself. We were even lucky enough to have Gaara join in and turn our trio into a quartet.

As we shared food and drinks in the hotel restaurant we covered every predictable topic under the sun. We covered the success of the exam so far and its potential future. We spoke of the everyday triumphs and disappointments of our individual lives or the amusing ups and downs of our children's lives.

I found it adorable how Naruto’s eyes lit up when he spoke of Himawari and Boruto. He was a proud papa.

Thankfully we didn’t delve too deeply into specific topics about our spouses or our respective marriages. I suspected this was mostly out of respect of their absence. Eventually we moved to more familiar grounds, the past. Or more specifically the chunin exam Naruto, Gaara, and I had participated in. Gaara ended up apologizing to us over his actions for about the hundredth time since we had become friends. A few gulps of wine made Gaara insistent so the only thing either us could do was gracefully accept his apology as if were the first time either of us had heard it

Then things got unpredictable.

Near the end of the dinner Gaara aglow from his last cup of wine glanced across the dinner table at me and then Naruto. Sighing contently he announced, “Shukaku and I were a little surprised that when we heard you married Hinata, Naruto. You had fought really hard to protect Sakura during our fight both of us thought you’d two would get together.”

Naruto was seated to my left and I turned to him just as he turned to the right. We stared at each other in silence. I waited for him to comment but I suppose Naruto had been waiting for me to comment because Gaara’s statement was met by absolute silence. The quiet lasted long enough to disregard Gaara’s statement as if neither of us had heard him.

But then Sai jumped, “That is interesting because at one time I had once believed Naruto held strong feelings for Sakura.”

Naruto sighed and addressed the table.

“I still do have strong feelings for Sakura....just not in the way you once thought of Sai. Life is complicated. There was a confusing mix of emotion, angst, anger and hormones flying around our team and when you are young you think you were feeling one thing and it isn’t until you get a little older that your realize it might have been something else.”

Sai seemed to consider this. “So you are saying your feelings weren’t real?”

“Sakura and I discussed it and we concluded that my feelings at the time may have stemmed from something other than love.”

“Unlike Sakura’s love for Sasuke” Sai added.

“My feelings were not as big as her love”

Naruto then laughed good naturedly. “So its easy to see why Sakura never considered me.”

Despite my better judgment I also jumped into the conversation.

“That’s not true. I did consider you. I mean it did cross my mind occasionally.”

“Really?” Sai added.

Naruto turned back to me. His eyes were as steady as his voice.

“Sai, I think Sakura is just trying to spare my feelings. I appreciate it but I knew how you felt about Sasuke.”

He stared right into my eyes as he talked. I met his gaze because it never occurred to me to look away.

“Sasuke was-is the only love I’ve known that is true. But I did consider Naruto.”

I was addressing the table as well but I didn’t break our eye contact.

“Naruto was the strongest of the three of us not just in a physical sense. In the sense of keeping himself together. Naruto is sweet and kind and he just naturally tries to take care of those around him. I did consider Naruto but...”

I paused.

My brain might have been in overdrive but my mouth was still way ahead of it. I wasn’t sure what I should say next but the words formed in my mouth before they registered in my thoughts.

“He didn’t need me.”

I broke our eye contact and stared down at my hands. It took my moment to regain the courage to look back up at him.

“I guess I wanted to be needed.”

I barely heard Sai's voice over the sound my blood, rushing to my ears. “Interesting, Sakura you actively helped Naruto and Hinata come together. Did you think Naruto needed Hinata?”

I didn’t answer Sai I stared into Naruto’s eyes with such intensity the only color I saw was blue.

“Hinata needed me.” I had heard someone say.

And it took me a half a second to recognize it had been Naruto’s voice. He broke our eye contract and turned back to the rest of the table and dispelled the tense atmosphere with a jovial smile. Naruto was one of those rare people who could alter moods with the twitch of his lips and and the twinkle in his eyes.

“In the end it all worked out for the best. We’re both with the loves our lives, we’re still friends, everyone is happy.”

Sai nodded. “They do say true love like cream in homogenized milk will always rise to the surface. ”

“I am not sure anyone has ever said those exact words Sai but the sentiment is sweet” I laughed.

The entire table followed into laughter.  No one laughed with more enthusiasm than Gaara whom right before Sai’s quotation had a guilty, embarrassed look on his face. Obviously he had no idea that his casual statement would have opened up such a can of worms. He eagerly accepted this lighter tone.

The conversation shifted to safer grounds as we snacked on dessert. After the cake and icecream our little party broke up for the night. In the process of bidding everyone goodnight I let it slip that I was going to the medical labs to pick up some notes I had left behind.   

Now the sequence at the restaurant was quite an emotional experience for me. But that turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg. What happened next was for better or worse was the emotional highlight of the night.

In the lab there were a handful of medics and technicians looking over some equipment. No one who be really surprised to see me there during the night shift hours. I went to my office and waited for the inevitable knock on the door. It came about fifteen minutes after my arrival.

I took in a deep breath before calling out that the door was open,

Naruto eased into the room and shut the door quietly behind him.

“I’d like a word with you.”

I had figured he would he would. I waited for him to say something else but he simply studied me.

“There was no reason for me to lie this time” I said anticipating his thoughts.

He didn’t respond. but I noticed his breathing was irregular. It was relatively shallow and swift, not usual from someone with Naruto’s level of fitness or his demeanor. Most people wouldn’t have noticed this but as a medic it was harder for me not to notice. He was, I realized eventually making a failed attempt to relax himself and regain his composure. He must have caught on to the fact that I had noticed something because he quickly turned his back to me.

What I could not tell by his breathing was if he was angry or simply hurt. Was he going to yell at me or cry? Or rather would he hold himself together and as the Seventh stoically march off to bed.  

I stepped closer to Naruto  and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Nothings changed Naruto” I said to him.

He laughed softly with his back still turned to me. “Yeah what you said at dinner alone shouldn’t have changed anything.”

He turned around slowly and looked straight into my eyes almost devouring me with his hunger. The impact of his gaze on me was so intense that I took a half step back.

“But then I think about that kiss and I can’t help but think tha--.”

He cut himself off mid sentence and he let his eyes roam around the office.  

“Why did you come to your office instead of going to your hotel room?”

“I figured you would want to talk. I thought I’d save us the trouble of having to explain you knocking on my door during the night.”

“You thought you’d save us teh trouble?”

He smiled.

“Am I that predictable Sakura?”

“It depends on the situation. You’ve got a history of impatience. When you get your mind to do something, you tend to just go and do i--”

Naruto interrupted me by pulling me close and giving me a long lingering kiss. I suppose if he wanted me to shut up that was one way to get me to do it. He broke the kiss and pulled back. I think now that he was gauging my reaction. I was a little too stunned to speak but my body knew exactly what to say. I arched closer to him and Naruto dove in for seconds.

This kiss was an explosion compared to the last two kisses.  Urgency replaced sweetness when his lips covered, well I should say claimed my own. An anything but tentative tongue brushed past my lips and eagerly explored the world beyond. Once I got over my initial shock  I responded with equal ferocity knocking the Hokage hat right off his head as I drove my fingers into his blonde hair. Then like a river meeting sea I simply flowed into him.

Instinct and need drove me to edge both of us towards my desk. I was just about to push Naruto on top of a pile of injury reports when I heard heavy footsteps in the lab outside the door. Somebody coughed and we froze. Naruto’s hands stalled on the last knotted button on my dress and my fingers stilled on the waistband of his pants.

We stood there for a minute, holding on tightly, breathing each other in. The footsteps faded away.

I think I made a noise between a giggle and a sigh right before I said, “That should not have happened.”

“I shouldn’t eat ramen, I shouldn’t drink, I shouldn’t  kiss you. Sakura why is all the bad stuff so addictive?”

I lowered my voice to raspy tone. “In my professional medical opinion I think you just have an addictive personality, You get a taste of something good and you just want and more.”

Naruto grinned wolfishly. “I think you're right doctor I just can’t help myself.”

Heaven help me I giggled again when our lips met for a third and fourth time.

When the chuckles subsided Naruto pulled back we just looked at each other, neither of us saying a word. I reached out and gently caressed his face, outlining his whiskers with my fingertips. In the silence of the room the moment passed and reality settled in for both of us.

“I think we’ve crossed a line.” Naruto said.

We released our grips on each other. A part of me wanted to continue but I was mostly relieved that things would not escalate any further.

Naruto glanced at the desk I followed his gaze. I believe it dawned on us both at the same time what would have potentially happened had we been in a less public area.

I apologized to him.

Naruto shook his head, “Don’t be sorry Sakura, I should be better man than that.”

In the moment of silence that followed we readjusted our clothing, smoothed out our hair and buttoned what had been unbuttoned. All these actions occured beneath a shared cloud of guilt and shame.

When he was back to respectable form with his hat on and his spine straight Naruto drew in a deep breath and said with a bashful grin, “The trouble is I really, really enjoyed that.”

Then he left. No more words were exchanged, no secretive touch, no discreet eye contact-no goodbye smooch.

I took a moment then to assess my self. I waited for guilt, and shame to engulf me. And they came in time. I felt shame when I thought of Sarada and the kind of woman I wanted to be in her eyes. I felt guilty when I thought about the vows that I had made an promises I had already broken if not physically but mentally.  I regretted that my life had reached a point where the kiss of a man other than my husband would leave a song humming in my veins.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ah that second kiss....that didn’t help the situation at all.  

Naruto recalled that during the kiss a tendril of Sakura’s hair had caught his lips and he reached to release it, and their hips had aligned as he had done so.

Sakura had been pushing up against him, and it was then that it had dawned on him that it might actually be happening. And it that moment in time he had wanted nothing more than for it to happen. It was like losing himself to Kurama the way he had lost his senses.

And when they had been forced to stop his raging passion had been replaced by raging disappointment.

In the aftermath of it all while he was in his room and with reason returned to him. He found himself overwhelmed by guilt. He considered talking to his wife. Coming clean to Hinata, letting her know what had happened, how he felt.

He wanted to tell the truth.

But what had been the truth? What could he tell her? Was it lust, love? When did he fall in love with Sakura? When did he have time to fall  in love with his busy schedule?

He didn’t call. He was supposed to make her happy, supposed to keep her happy, that was his role as a husband. Hinata was his wife not Sakura. He had an obligation to her, she was his wife, the mother of his children, his greatest fan.

He hated to disappoint her.

Naruto had no intention of breaking up his marriage. However in a moment of clarity that night when his lust for Sakura had abated he found that he still longed to be by her side. And the temptation to go to her room and simply be with her was a real one.

He was in love  

Naruto laughed as he flipped a page in Sakura’s journal he was in the same position that he had been close to two decades ago. Of his feelings he was sure of Sakura’s he could not be certain.  And he wouldn’t assume, no he didn’t assume then, he wouldn’t assume now.

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Feb 13: 12:30 PM

Infidelity is an ugly word.

An even uglier act

Nothing good can come from it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feb 13: 10:30 PM

There were times while Sarada was at the academy that I would lay down in bed and think to myself. There must be more to love than this.

If I were to find something more in the arms of someone other than my husband would that really make me a monster?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feb 14: 3:30 PM

If I can just keep everything contained to my private thoughts. Then it isn’t all that bad. If it’s all a fantasy than I haven't betrayed anyone.

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Feb 15: 12:30 PM

Sai came to me while I was on my lunch break.

“He’s upset again.”

We got to Naruto’s hotel room just as Gaara was stepping out. The Kazekage closed the door behind him with a heavy sigh.

I threw questions at him. I managed to only get two vague and cryptic answers out of him, which was a considerable victory considering that the summit meetings were heavily confidential.

“The summit meetings have been a little tense lately.”

“The further we get from the war the easier it is for idealism to be replaced by everyday.”

That was it. It wasn’t much but it shed a little light on what I could expect from Naruto’s mindset. We entered the hotel room to find Naruto scolding his laptop.

“I needed the revision yesterday! Not today, not tomorrow, not next week, I needed it yesterday!”

Shikamaru’s voice came through speakers. “I’ll try and get it to you tonight.”

“Don’t try, get it to me Shikamaru! Get me that revision because I am drowning here and you are supposed to be my lifeboat!”

Naruto slammed the lid of the laptop shut.  He turned to us his eyes wild with passionate fury.

“What do you want?” He grunted.

Before we could say anything Naruto cut us off with a wave of his hand.

“Actually no, I am headed out. I need some air.”

Sai stepped forward. “Are you leaving the hotel? It’ll just take a moment for me to gather the other guards.”

Naruto shook his head. “I am going out alone.”

“But the Alliance has set rather definite regulations about--”

Naruto interrupted Sai with a spat.

“If there is someone out there who is strong enough to kill me Sai what can you or the rest of the guards possibly do against him? I’d have to protect you! You guys would actually be burdens to me. You are useless Sai to me, can’t you see that?!”  

I slapped Naruto across the face with my open hand. It wasn’t something I consciously thought about doing. It just happened and I heard Sai gasp.

“Ask me again if I think you’ve changed.” I said to Naruto.  

The Seventh stepped back. He was hurt, he was humiliated. But mostly the slap had startled him. He put his hands up toward his face and looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes. I’ve hit Naruto so many times over the years and I think this was the first time I had ever truly hurt him.

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, I was hurting for both of us.

After a moment he closed his eyes and when he reopened them he offered me and Sai an oddly composed stare.

“Anyone who is still in this room when I get back will be stripped of their rank.”

He stormed out of the room leaving me and Sai.

"I suppose we should just give him some space for now" Sai mused.

He was surprisingly unfazed by what just happened. I took a bit of confidence from that. I left the room feeling that Sai was probably right.

Originally posted on tumblr

 

Okay this story is based off a prompt that was suggested by an anon....I think. This anon (if it wasn't an anon I apologize) suggested a Christmas fic. Well it was a specific Christmas scene but I did a general Christmas fic, notably without the scene the anon suggested. Tbh this a bit of a rushjob. This story really grew out of control and the story that was in my head would not have been able to be put out by Christmas. 

 

P.S I don't know how the Japanese who celebrate Christmas actually celebrate it and unfortunately I didn't have time to research. So this Christmas story is pretty much an American. Christmas story.
 

That sad I hope you enjoy it despite all that.

 

Edit: Almost Forgot Merry Christmas!

 

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There was a point in Naruto’s life when he had hated Christmas even while though he consistently dreamed of what a perfect Christmas would be like.

 

The memory of that period in his life played back in Naruto’s mind as snow wafted down from the sky onto his hat. He lingered on the memories until he spotted Sakura stepping through the exit of Konoha General Hospital.

 

She hurried out of the hospital with her hair still tied up and carrying two large red sacks in each hand. Out of immediate sight Naruto studied her profile. He liked how she looked with her hair tied up he thought to himself.

 

Then again he also liked her with her hair down.

 

His absolute favorite however was sure to come any second now.

 

Sakura placed the two sacks down and swiftly reached for her hairband. For the briefest second her hair remained suspended in air, defying gravity, before drifting down to her shoulders.

 

Ah, there it is The Transition.

 

It was then that Sakura spied him. She grabbed both sacks and hurried across the street where Naruto waited with a grin.

 

“You’re late.” She growled. “Taking after your predecessor I see.”

 

Seemingly unmoved by her irritation Naruto continued to stare at her. He looked to her as a man being very pleased with himself.

 

“Are you just going to stand there smiling goofily at me or we going to get movi--?”

 

Naruto reached out and took her face in his two hands. He held her face gently for a moment and then he kissed her lightly on the lips.

 

“I missed you,” he said when the kiss broke.

 

Sakura blushed furiously. “It’s only been five hours. Anyway this is no time for public displays of affection we’re behind schedule.”

 

Tomato-faced Sakura began marching down the street. Her feet crunching on the ankle deep snow.

Sighing contently, Naruto took up after her

 

“You don’t need to come with me Sakura.”

 

“I don't need too but I want too,” She said without turning towards him.

 

Naruto nodded to himself. “I understand, you must love me a whole lot.”

 

She chuckled. Then she stopped and turned to face him “Naruto I--”

 

She found empty space where Naruto should have been. Sakura turned to her left to see Naruto engaging the slumping form of an elderly man.

 

“Excuse me gramps, I just thought you should know my wife really loves me.”

 

“I would hope she did Hokage-sama” The old man responded.

 

A broad grin spread on Naruto’s face. “It is a nice feeling.”

 

The elderly man nodded sagely. “I know the feeling well, in fact my wife and I have been together for--”

 

“Excuses us sir-” Sakura said appearing abruptly beside Naruto. He winced when she grabbed him by the ear. “--I apologize but the Hokage has some pressing concerns to address this afternoon.”

 

Still latched on to his ear Sakura pulled her husband away from the conversation.

 

“Why do you do things like that every time we go out in public?”

 

“Because it's fun” He answered.

 

She dragged him back to the red sacks, picked them off the snowy ground and shoved them both into his chest.

 

“If you are going to be silly you can hold these.”

 

“That’s no problem.”

 

“This is your idea so I don’t know why you aren’t taking this seriously.” Sakura shook her head, “Luckily for you I accounted for your lateness.”

 

“I knew you would, that’s why I married you, for that reliable brain of yours. Just like you married me for my reliable body.”

 

She smirked. “Heaven and Earth huh?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Finding it difficult to remain annoyed at her husband Sakura simply smiled and started to walk away.

 

With the sacks in hand Naruto rushed forward until he was matching her pace.

 

“Did you tell Ino we’re probably going to be late for the party?”

 

“I did and it didn’t seem to faze her. She was too busy putting the finishing touches on the preparations.”

 

“Good I am looking forward to it. I’m glad I hired her as the party planner.”

 

Sakura eyed Naruto skeptically.

 

Naruto knew what she was thinking. “The party is coming out of my pocket not the taxpayer’s you know that.”

 

“Being incorruptible doesn’t necessarily mean you are sane Naruto. Oh and it’s coming out of our pocket mister.”

 

Naruto chuckled, “Oh right we’re married, I almost forgot. ”

 

“Still,” Sakura continued. “No one throws a party like Ino. And I suppose a memorable party is always good for shinobi morale.”

 

Naruto offered her a knowing look.

 

“I never said it was a bad idea” she explained.  “It’s a good idea just an expensive idea.”

 

They walked along shoulder to shoulder in silence for a beat or two before Naruto eventually asked, “So what was the first place on my list again?”

 

“The Orphanage” She replied.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

After much fussing and hollering with the help of his staff Iruka managed to complete a most difficult task. He corralled all the orphans into the recreation room and seated them in four rows of six. Then with the skilled expertise of an experienced instructor he captured their complete attention.

 

Visibly excited he addressed the crowd, “Everyone we have a very special guest visiting us this afternoon.”

 

He paused for dramatic effect.

 

“Children please show some Christmas appreciation for Santa Claus!”

 

Iruka gestured towards the door of the recreation room just as it flung open. A bearded figure cloaked in red and carrying a red sack exploded into the room.
 

“Ho Ho Ho children! Merry Christmas!”

 

Iruka clapped happily. The rest of the audience however met Santa’s exuberance with silence and bewildered stares.

 

The sound of Santa’s heavy breathing filled the room.

 

A young boy in the front row raised his hand. Iruka called on him.

 

“That’s the Hokage sensei.”

 

Santa dropped his sack in surprise. “Hokage? I’d love to meet him. But I am not he, I am Santa Claus!”

 

“No you’re the Hokage,” said a girl from the middle rows. “You’re like the most famous shinobi in the world....sir.”

 

“Iruka-sensei introduced us to you at your induction ceremony-” Said another child.

 

“--Also I saw Uzumaki Sakura standing outside from this window, she’s famous too....and she’s his wife and I bet she’s standing in the hallway-” Added another child.

 

“---The entire village was invited to their wedding remember?” Said another.

 

Sakura poked her head sheepishly into the room. “Hello children.”

 

“--Santa always appeared in the stories as an old man man. This santa is clearly in his early thirties just like the Hokage---”

 

The boy in the front row cleared his throat. “Santa only comes at night, it’s two o'clock in the afternoon sensei.”

 

“And Santa is not real” Came a voice from the back row.

 

“This plan was not very thought-out” Naruto whispered to himself.

 

“Bravo children! This was a test!” Sakura said suddenly. “The Hokage was testing you on your awareness and your ability to think critically!”

 

She winked at Naruto, and he immediately pulled down his fake beard.

 

“Of course, it was a test and you’ve all passed! I am very proud to know that the future of the village is the hands of such vigilant and sharp shinobi!”

 

Praise from the Hokage was not lost on the children. Unabashed delight lighted most of the faces of the room.

 

Sakura quickly gathered the sack in her hands.

 

“It’s not just parise you are getting the Hokage has brought gifts for you all!”

 

A massive cheer went up from the children as a majority of the room rushed Sakura. She and the gift bag were swamped in a matter of moments.

 

Naruto watched on with quiet approval as his wife was caught in an avalanche of adolescence.

 

“That did not go as planned” Iruka said as he sidled up beside Naruto.

 

Naruto glanced at Iruka. “The important thing is that it worked out in the end.”

 

The Hokage looked around the room taking in the immediate vicinity.

 

“I’ve been meaning to ask how is everything here? Is the staff working out?”

 

“Everything is excellent, you’ve given me more than I deserve Naruto.”

 

“So you are happy with your new circumstances?”

 

“It’s a dream come true” Iruka beamed. “And you, are you happy with your new position?”

 

“It’s a dream come true” Naruto replied with a smile.

 

“Good, good. So Naruto, I suppose you will be spending the holidays with the Haruno family again this year”

 

Naruto shook his head. “Sakura and I are gonna spend the holidays together for the first time.”

 

“Ah youth” Iruka clucked. “A newlyweds first Christmas alone is like a second honeymoon.”

 

Naruto paused as his thoughts drifted to his first honeymoon. He smiled to himself stupidly for a moment before regaining his composure and shaking himself out his stupor.

 

“I-it’s not about that, it’s about making new traditions and...Iruka please stop smiling...”

 

Iruka placed a hand in the air. “Naruto-I understand.”

 

“I just can’t have you smiling while we are talking about that part of my married life. Iruka I look to you like a big brother but I just cannot accept that.”

 

“I understand, let’s just change the subject.”

 

Naruto let out breath. “Thank you. Anyway Iruka I’m curious what does Christmas mean to you?”

 

Iruka gestured towards the children “Simple, we’re not alone. This is the one thought that comes to my mind every Christmas.”

 

“I see.”

 

“Were you expecting a different answer?”

 

Naruto patted his former instructor on the shoulder. “Nope, that’s exactly what I expect--”

 

The Hokage stopped and peered over Iruka’s shoulder. A young boy stood across the room where the eyes had landed. The boy stared forward with a pained look on his face but when his eyes met Naruto’s his expression changed and he hurriedly looked away.

 

“Who is that?”

 

Iruka followed Naruto’s gaze. “That is Hideki unfortunately his circumstances are very similar to--”

 

“I know” Naruto interrupted. “I can see it and I can feel it”

 

Naruto excused himself from Iruka’s presence and made his way towards the boy.

 

“It’s Hideki-chan isn’t it?”

 

Hideki offered Naruto a rigidly formal bow and it made Naruto laugh.

 

“Well you’ve definitely got me beat on manners.” Naruto said stopping just short of being within arm’s reach of the child. A calculated attempt not to invade the boy’s personal space.

 

“Hideki-chan don’t you want a gift?”

 

Hideki glanced tentatively at the gift bag and then Naruto. “Why are you doing this?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I do this?” Naruto asked.

 

Hideki hesitated. “You’re the Hokage.”

 

“That’s true, but I was also an orphan.”

 

“I know that, everybody knows that.”

 

“That’s true too, that’s one of the parts of the story no one forgets. No one seems to remember how bad I was in school but being an orphan always sticks.”

 

Naruto sighed.

 

“Hideki-chan what does Christmas mean to you?”

 

The boy was clearly taken aback by the abrupt question. However he recovered quickly by feigning a shrug, “I don’t know, family stuff. It's got nothing to do with me.”

 

“Christmas might always be about family but family isn’t always about blood. This is something I’ve learned on my journey to becoming Hokage. Family is who you care about and who cares about you. Do you have people you care about?”

 

Hidek’s eyes flittered back and forth across the room but he didn’t respond.

 

Naruto glanced over his shoulder at Iruka. “You know what sensei would say if I asked him whom he considered to be family?”

 

Naruto turned back to Hideki. “He would say everyone in this room is my family. If you ask me well I’m the Hokage, so this whole village is my family. You are my family.”

 

Naruto reached out with his hand, his palm hovered over Hideki’s head for moment as Naruto anticipated the boy pulling away. Hideki however did not move and remained motionless as Naruto patted him on the head.

 

“You’re right Christmas is about family so I’m here to celebrate a little with my family. So get over there and get yourself a gift before all the good stuff is gone.”

 

Naruto felt as if the air stilled around him as waited for Hideki’s response. Without another word the boy stepped from beneath Naruto’s hand, brushed past him and headed slowly in the direction the gift bag.

 

When he was four or five steps away from Naruto, Hideki suddenly turned towards him.

 

“Can I become Hokage someday?” He said breathlessly

 

Naruto grinned. “If I can, I don’t see why you can’t,”

 

The boy smiled back at him. “If I become Hokage do I get a pretty wife too?”

 

“Ah well see becoming a Hokage is the easy part, the wife part well you might have to be born  with a little luck for that.”

 

Naruto watched amused as the boy turned and sprinted towards the bag of toys. He continued surveying the scene until Sakura appeared before him.

 

He looked over his disheveled wife sympathetically.“The day was actually saved by your quick thinking Mrs. Claus.”

 

“Well like you said you did marry me for my brains.”

 

Sakura patted down her ruffled hair, brushed some dirt off her clothes, and then smiled.   

 

“We will put some more thought into this next year.”

 

Naruto smiled brightly at his wife. “Of course.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“It was kind of nice being around all those tiny hands and tiny faces” Sakura remarked as they trudged hand in hand through ankle deep snow.

 

“Uh-huh” Naruto said absently with his eyes on the drifting powder and the white landscape.  

 

“I had a little chat with this girl, I think her name was Hana.”

 

Sakura paused. “Hana is pretty name dontcha think?”

 

“Uh-huh,” Naruto muttered,

 

A flash of irritation caused a vein to throb in Sakura’s forehead. But a quick glance at her husband eased her anger.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked.  “You seem unusually...melancholy for this of year.”

 

Naruto turned to her. “Sakura we are married right?”

 

“Last I checked.”

 

“And there shouldn’t be any secrets between husband and wife right?”

 

“That would be the ideal situation.”

 

Naruto drew in a deep breath and let it out. “I spent a few years in my early childhood hating Christmas.”

 

Sakura considered this for a moment. “I can understand why you would have been resentful of the holiday.”

 

“Resentful is nice word....I felt like the day itself was being unfair to me. It’s a strange thing as a kid to feel like you are being bullied by a holiday.”

 

Sakura lightly squeezed his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

 

‘By the time we became close my perspective on things had changed a lot.”

 

“Do you have have lingering feelings of resentment?”

 

“No, I like Christmas, I like it a lot. Still when I was lonely I didn’t think it was fair now that my life is amazing well.....” He trailed off.

 

“Are you trying to make Christmas fair for other people Naruto?”

 

Naruto laughed softly. “That sounds silly.”

 

“It sounds exactly like something the kind of man I would marry would do.”

 

Snow was falling around them but the warmth in his wife’s eyes would have been enough to convince Naruto of the onset of an early summer.

 

“Does it?"

 

"It does, But I hope he would understand that he can't make it fair for everyone."

 

“But if he were Hokage then he would also understand he had the power to make it fair for some.”

 

“I suppose that's true.”

 

They walked in silence for a little while.

 

"Sakura, what does Christmas mean to you?”

 

She thought it over.

 

“Christmas is not just a day Naruto, it’s a feeling, it's like love, you are in love when you feel like another person’s happiness is more important than your own. Just imagine that feeling but apply it to an extended scale, your friends and family, your village, humanity.”

 

“Sakura you are a real romantic,’ Naruto grinned.

 

“Is that a problem?”

 

“No, not at all” He said to her.  “I like the way you think.”

 

xxxxxxxx

 

The last stop on the list brought Naruto and Sakura to a home at the edge of the village. He rapped lightly against the door and when it finally swung open a middle-aged woman gaped openly at the sight of him.

 

“Hokage-sama is it really you?!”

 

“Kato-san I apologize for dropping in so abruptly on but if it’s possible I would like to have a moment of your time.”

 

Kato Chiaki stood, staring at Naruto, her chest heaving.

 

“Kato-san?” Sakura said softly.

 

“Come in come in,, its freezing out there,” The woman said snapping out of her daze.

 

She ushered them quickly into the living room.

 

“I apologize for the mess. If I had known the Hokage was coming, and bringing his wife, I-I would have moved to a better house.”

 

“It’s fine” Naruto said quickly. “Your house is beautiful Kato-san, very cozy.”

 

Chiaki waved her hand in the air dismissively. “Oh you are just saying that.”

 

“Hey I am the Hokage I am not allowed to lie.”

 

“Well expect to his wife,” Sakura said. “Which is why Kato-san I would be eternally grateful if you would ask my husband, what actually happened to the chocolate cake for two I bought last week.”

 

The group's laughter broke the tension of the moment. Chiaki asked Naruto and Sakura, “Would you like some tea?”

 

“I would love some” Naruto said.

 

Chiaki gestured to the couch. “Please have a seat.”

 

Naruto and Sakura did as their host suggested. They waited silently in the living as Sakura held Naruto’s hand securely between her own palms. Eventually with a pot covered in a padded tea cozy Chiaki carried the tea and napkins like treasure to the living room. She set the pot down on her coffee table and took her place in a seat across from the couch.

 

Naruto and Sakura beamed at her as they plunked napkins from the table and spread it across their laps. Chiaki then poured the tea and passed the first cup with slightly trembling hands to Naruto.

 

“Beautiful day out” Sakura said as she was handed her cup and saucer.

 

“Yes perfect for this time of year” Chiaki replied.

 

Naruto sipped from his cup. “This is delicious,” he said sincerely.

 

“Thank you Hokage-sama.”

 

“Naruto took another sip, then a third.  He sighed contently and then said, “Kato-san the reason I am here is because I wanted to talk to you about your son Akihiro.”
 

“I see.”

 

Naruto finished his tea and set down his cup. “When I became Hokage I promised that I would concentrate all my efforts in combating injustice and maintaining peace not just in Konoha but around the world. Peace is fragile however, that is why there will always be a need not just for shinobi but honest and brave shinobi, who are willing to fight for peace. I would fight every battle if I could but that is unfortunately impossible. Your son...”

 

Naruto hesitated as he considered his words carefully.

 

Chiaki studied Naruto for a moment, “My son was a shinobi, he was ready to die, and as the mother of a shinobi I was prepared for such an event.”

 

Naruto nodded. “Yes Kato-san I see you are a very brave and strong woman. I cannot go into much details since it is a matter of national security however I need to tell you that I had gotten bad information and so it is my fault I personally sent your son to--”

 

“Akihiro was always a cheerful boy very dreamy and thoughtful,” Chiaki interrupted. “You should have seen his face the day you became Hokage, he was so excited. He told me ‘This is a man who will change the world, this is a man I would die for.’”

 

Sakura placed her hand gently against Naruto’s back.

 

He glanced at her appreciatively before looking back towards Chiaki. “He did not die for me Kato-san he died for his friends and family. Your son went into a very difficult situation willingly to protect the village by my definition he is a hero.”

 

“Hokage-sama, you honor me with your visit. But you do not need to apologize to me.”

 

“Yes, yes I do.’

 

“My son died for his beliefs, and the thing he believed in the most was you. It would do his memory a great honor if you would simply continue to be a strong leader for this village.”

 

Naruto started to retort but he was halted by the combination of sorrow and pride in the woman’s eyes.

 

He bowed his head to her. “Of course Kato-san. I will definitely honor you son's memory.”

 

“My brother is a hero?”

Every head in the room turned to the source of the question. Though by the tone if it, it was more of a demand than a question.

 

No one said another word as a very young girl slowly entered the room and walked over to Naruto, stopping in front of him.

 

Chiaki stood up. “Hokage-sama please excuse this impudent figure that I must shamefully acknowledge as my daughter Aki.”

 

“You said he was hero?” Aki asked Naruto.

 

“Impudent child you are speaking to the Hokage!!”

 

Naruto looked at Chiaki. “May I?”

 

She nodded consent.

 

Naruto brought his attention to the young girl. “Your brother is a hero. I know this Christmas will be hard without him. It'll be a sad Christmas. But without your brother’s help there would be many sad Christmases for many other families.”

 

“H-he helped save Christmas?” Aki asked with a teary smile

 

Naruto nodded to her. “Yeah he did.

 

Hearing his words, the girl lunged at him, she draped her arms around the neck, knocking him back into the couch. Naruto instinctively patted the girl on the head as she sobbed into his shoulder. He closed his eyes and sat there quietly for a moment.  

 

“My, my” Chiaki said as she wiped swiftly at her eyes. “It seems that the Hokage is very good with children.”

 

“It seems so” Sakura agreed with a smile.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Naruto held the completed list in his hand. Snow accumulated slowly on the piece of paper that listed off names and places he had committed himself to visiting this Christmas eve. It was a list of people he knew for sure would be having a troubled Christmas, some of the troubles were even caused directly by decisions he had made as Hokage.

 

“Your parents would be proud” Sakura said.

 

“They have to be proud their my parents.”  

 

“I am proud of you” The warmth in her voice matched the pride in her eyes

 

“You have to be proud. You’re my wife.”

 

“For now, I don't know how much longer I can put up with your snoring.”

 

They held each other’s stare.

 

“Thank you Sakura-chan” Naruto whispered, his spirits lifted.

 

She smiled. “Well, it looks like they’re ready to attack.”

 

“Oh?” Naruto said as he handed Sakura the list. “It’s about time, they’ve been following us for a half hour now. Is it Sarutobi Miria?”

 

Sakura slipped the list into a pocket. “And her band of wannabe delinquents. That girl has got plenty of nerve.”

 

“I like her” Naruto said as he handed Sakura the red sack he was holding. “She has spunk.”

 

Sakura frowned, “Naruto when it comes to misbehaving children you need to have a firm hand.”

 

Naruto eyed his wife curiously.

 

“Anyway it looks like they are about to make their move” Sakura said as she placed the sack down by her feet.

 

She squinted. “Move a little to the left.”

 

Naruto did as he was told and a second later a pair of snowballs slammed against the back of his head. Naruto waddled like an oversized penguin before crashing to the ground.

 

Sakura drew in a deep breath.

 

"Naruto! No!” she yelled.

 

She rushed over to his body and fell to her knees.

 

"Naruto!" she screamed.

 

She rolled him over just as a half dozen or some pre-teens rushed to her.

 

"I-is the Hokage okay?" Miria asked panic in her voice.

 

Sakura placed two fingers against the side of Naruto’s neck. "His pulse is fading."

 

She clawed violently at the snow near his head. “Who packed the snowballs with ice?”

 

Five young faces turned to Miria.

 

"I-"

 

"Ice is his biggest weakness!" Sakura wailed as she clutched Naruto to her body. “The smallest bit of ice against his body is fatal!”

 

"What-how-is-he's supposed to be the like the strongest guy in the world!" Miria sputtered.

 

The head of the boy standing beside Miria’s head snapped sideways.  

 

"What was that?" Another boy asked right before a cloud of white exploded in his face.

 

'That's what happens when you underestimate your Hokage” Sakura chuckled as he husband exploded into a puff of smoke.

 

“A clone!” Miria exclaimed. “When did he--?”

 

Before she could finish her thought a volley of snowballs slammed into her group.

 

"Where's it coming from?"

 

"There that blur."

 

"It's the Hokage!

 

“Where?”

 

Miria glanced about in confusion only to see Sakura untying the knot of the red sack revealing a pyramid of perfectly sculpted snowballs. She deftly scooped a ball up.

 

"Retreat!” Miria called out as snowball exploded on the side of his head. Another smacked her squarely in the chest, suddenly there was snow flying at her from every direction. Miria collapsed under a pile of snow as her gang was scattered to the winds beneath a barrage of snowballs.

 

Miria spat out snow and wiped snow from her eyes to find Sakura and Naruto standing over her.

 

“I surrender.”

 

“Sounds like she learned her lesson” Sakura stated.

 

“Merry Christmas Miria-chan” Naruto said.

 

Miria smiled up boldly at Sakura and Naruto.  “Merry Christmas.”

 

"Ah!” Naruto said suddenly. “Don't we have a Christmas party to go to?

 

XXXXXXX

 

Naruto peered at his friend over his plastic cup. "Can I ask you a question Shikamaru?"

 

“You asking me questions is part of the job you hired me to do so I suppose I don’t have a choice but to hear you out.”

 

“What does Christmas mean to you?”

 

Shikamaru snorted. “I don't know why I was expecting something serious.”

 

“It’s kind of serious, come on tell me.”

 

“To me it means people, other people than me, people who have time for such troublesome things, those people doing a little something extra for other people.”

 

“That's a very Shikamaru answer.”

 

Shikamaru raised his cup. “Well you did ask a Shikamru.”

 

Naruto turned his head. “What about you Ino?”

 

Imo smirked. “Well it’s the season of giving of course.”

 

“Then why does it seem like every year you take more than you give?” Shikamaru retorted.

 

“The love I spread returns to me ten-fold. It’s just unfortunate for you that snark doesn’t really get around.”

 

“I love you guys” Naruto sighed.

 

The three friends laughed until their laughter was eventually drowned out by the commotion of the party going on around them .

 

“So spending  the holidays with the in-laws again?” Shikamaru asked.

 

“Actually Sakura and I are gonna spend the holidays together.”

 

Ino and Shikmaru exchanged knowing smiles.

 

“What, what is that look?”

 

Shikamaru cleared his throat. “You know statistically the most common birthday in the Fire Nation, is September sixteenth, considering the average pregnancy lasts about about thirty eight weeks, if you are a little generous with the numbers that makes the most popular conception date in the nation on or around December 24th.”

 

Ino pointed at Naruto. “If there’s a bundle of joy delivered this fall, you tell Sakura I’m the Godmother. I don’t want Tsunade nosing in on my rightful territory.”

 

“Guys I--” Naruto lowered voice. “I don’t know if Sakura is even thinking about that yet...”

 

“Really?” Ino narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

 

“I think I would remember having a conversation that life changing.”

 

“Okay, look over there.” Ino pointed across the room. Naruto followed her finger to Sakura and Shizune who appeared to be in an animated discussion.

 

Naruto brought his cup to his lips. “So?”

 

“I am willing to be my life savings that at this very moment Shizune is detailing various intimate positions that may or may not increase chances of pregnancy.”

 

A spray of soda erupted from Naruto’s mouth onto the floor. “What? They could be talking about open-heart surgery!” he sputtered.

 

As he said this Shizune scribbled something quickly on a napkin and handed it to Sakura. Naruto watched as his wife took a glance at the napkin and turned beet red from the base of her neck to her forehead.  

 

Ino smiled triumphantly. “Mmm, I know Sakura’s a medical nerd but it takes more than talk of surgery to make a woman blush like that.”

 

Naruto turned to Shikmaru. “You think?”

 

“Don’t look at him for answers. We’re talking about love not war” Ino snorted. “Naruto Sakura’s a romantic unless she is forced to spell it out for you, you’ll have to feel for the vibe. The vibe tells all.”

 

The vibe?

 

Naruto was on the verge of asking for clarification when a obviously drunken Lee leaped onto a table in the middle of the room.

 

“Attention everyone!” He said while swaying on his feet. “Firstly I want to say I love everyone in this room. Secondly I love Christmas.  Thirdly and this is the real point I want to make ―A toast to the people who paid Ino to throw this great party the Uzumaki's.”

 

A thunderous cheer went up as Lee raised a cup in salute to Naruto’s general direction.

 

“Naruto my friend who has only been Hokage for eight months but he's already the bestest one ever,” Lee slurred.

 

Lee then raised his cup in salute to Sakura’s general direction. “And his beautiful and

charming wife Sakura, also my friend, who has saved my life um three no four times already!”

 

Another cheer from the crowd.

 

“Fourthly , let's dance!” Lee announced and as if waiting for his word the party music changed to a more uptempo tune.

 

Sakura strolled over and took Naruto by the arm. “Let’s dance.”

 

As she led Naruto to the dance floor. He noticed that he was smiled at, endearingly, these were not simply smiles of subordinates to a glorious leader, they all smiled as one might smile at a close friend.

 

Naruto felt himself strangely welcomed.

 

It wasn’t the first time he had felt as such amongst his friends. It wouldn’t be the last. And he knew it would never get old.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time the party ended the snow had stopped and the moon was hanging low. They were a few minutes into their walk home when Naruto turned to Sakura and said, “It’s not too late to head over to your folks place.”

 

Sakura laughed. “Right, so my father and I can watch you and my mom flirt until the New Year.”

 

“I never flirted with your mother!” Naruto exclaimed.

 

Sakura rolled her eyes. She then deepened her voice, “Oh okaasan let me help you with that!”

 

Then her voice lightened. “Oh Naruto you are such a good boy, and so strong and handsome. Sakura are you feeding him properly?”

 

Naruto glanced away sheepishly.

 

Sakura continued. “Oh okaasan let me clear the table. Oh handsome and dutiful you can learn something from your husband Sakura. Oh okaasan let me cook dinner. oh handsome, strong and he can cook, Sakura my daughter, have you thanked your lucky stars for landing this fish!”

 

Naruto sighed “I was told years ago that part of wooing the girl is impressing her mom.”

 

“Uh-huh who told that?Jiraiya?”

 

Naruto scratched at his cheek. “Well...”

 

“Ah so he is the one to blame for those holiday nights where I had to watch you two get giggly while washing the dishes. You are talking about me during all these giggling sessions aren’t you?”  

 

Naruto scratched at his cheek. “Well...”

 

“Of course you are. What, is she telling stories about when I wet the bed as a little girl, or the time I stripped naked in the playground as a toddler??”

 

“Sakura” Naruto grinned. “She told me those stories the first time you invited me over to meet your parents.”

 

Sakura tsked loudly. “It’s a shame but I'll have to kill one of you. Its going to be hard to choose between my husband and my mother but it has to be done.”

 

Naruto playfully placed his arm around Sakura’s shoulder. “I have a good time with your family. I'm just saying if you want too we can spend Christmas with them. I won't mind.”

 

“It’s okay” Sakura stated. “I actually just want to go home and get to bed.”

 

Naruto’s eyebrows went up to his hairline.

 

Bed..does she mean “bed” or bed?”

 

Realizing he had to extend the conversation to get a better feel for the “vibe” or whatever that may be, Naruto said, “Your family’s tradition was to unwrap one gift at midnight and the rest in the morning right?”

 

“That’s right.” Sakura answered.

 

“So if we take that tradition as our own I get to unwrap one of my gifts tonight right?”

 

Sakura glanced around, she noted that they were currently the only two people on the road. She beckoned for him to lean closer.

 

“You can unwrap a gift before bed.” She whispered into his ear. "And then I'm going to unwrap you.”

 

Naruto stumbled over his own feet.  

 

Sakura helped him regain his balance. Then she continued. “After that I am going to make love to you until Christmas morning. Then I'll let you sleep for a little while. Just for a little while. Eventually I'm going to wake you up with little kisses all over your body. Then we’ll make love again and again for the rest of the day."

 

“Oh--well” Naruto said as he straightened up. “That sounds like a good holiday plan.”

 

Naruto took her by the hand. He calculated it would take ten minutes to get to their house, maybe less if they picked up the pace. Sakura must have picked up on the his vibe because before he knew they were walking very briskly down the road.

 

Naruto looked at Sakura and they laughed.

 

By then they were running.

 

At some point Naruto had scooped Sakura up in his arms and they became lost in blur of expending chakra.

 

In his excitement Naruto would have likely kicked down the door to his own house down, if it hadn’t been for the package wrapped in tinsel and ribbons waiting for them by their front door.

 

“Who is it from?” Naruto asked as he placed Sakura down on her own two feet.

 

She picked the package up and examined it.

 

A smile came to Sakura’s face. “Its addressed to Mister and Missus Deadlast.”

 

Naruto laughed, “of course the wandering comedian, open it.”

 

Sakura tore through the package’s wrapping and discovered a dazzling five-pointed star that simply begged to be placed on a Christmas tree.

 

“It’s beautiful” Sakura said.

 

Naruto opened the door to the house and she followed him in. Sakura made a beeline for the living room and their Christmas tree. Swiftly they switched their star for the new one. Almost immediately it shone brightly in the room, and brought an unprecedented sense of cheer to the house.

 

Under the glow of the Christmas tree Sakura turned to Naruto and smiled.

 

And he understood then

 

At first he saw the children. A blond boy with green eyes and a blue eyed pink haired girl, they danced around the tree dragging a joyful Sakura along by the hand.

 

These were his children, their children, a potential future, possible memories to come.

 

He had stumbled onto the heart of Christmas quite by accident there in her smile. All the smiles of the day came to him after that, Iruka’s proud smile, Hideki’s cautious smile, Chiaki’s courageous smile, Aki’s teary smile, Miria careless smile, the smiles of endearment from all his friends, Sakura’s loving smile.

 

Each smile encompassed everything he didn’t have before, everything he had now, everything he may have in the future. Christmas day was a rare day where he had the opportunity to bring out all these smiles at once, and then perhaps even add his own.

 

Naruto closed his eyes and drew in a breath. When he reopened them Sakura had come to him. She kissed him gently and lovingly.

 

“Merry Christmas Naruto” She said when the kiss broke.

 

There was a point in Naruto’s life when he had hated Christmas even though he had dreamed about what a perfect Christmas would be like. While he knew in his heart a truly perfect Christmas would never come what he felt now was better than he could have ever dreamed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

So quick FYIs

The reason the story is called first Christmas is because it's the first time Naruto completely felt the Christmas spirit so to speak

Miria is not a total delinquent she's just rambunctious which I think is an interesting take on a pretty much blank character

The party scene should have been longer but alas I was short on time. I also imagined a scene where Naruto and Sakura visited a Temple and talked about his parents.

If the pacing of the story seemed off I apologize, i had to rush things. Also the cnetral theme may seems confused but I hope I was clear enough for it to be reasonable.

I think this is the right place for this. I wanted to make a kind of testing/feedback area, a place  to gauge people's opinions on certain kinds of things that I am thinking about fiddling with in any of my stories.

 

For example I am wondering do you guys think Naruto would still call Sakura "Sakura-chan" even after they are married?

Some fluff  I wrote on tumbl. If you like it let me know

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Naruto winced as Sakura gently probed his arm.

 

“So?” he muttered.

 

“Well, judging by your symptoms, which upon immediate inspection appear to be feverish conditions, pale skin, rapid breathing, and pain in your forearmarm. I would say it’s something of a systemic inflammatory response--”

 

She stopped when she saw that his eyes were glazing over.

 

--Your body thinks the cells in your arm are some kind of infection.” She continued.

 

Naruto frowned. “Why didn’t Tsunade ever mention that this could happen?”

 

“Well actually she did. I was there when she told you there was a ten percent chance this very thing could happen.”

 

Naruto ran his hand across his face. “Those few weeks after the war are kind of a blur to me.”

 

“Well it was just one big party in your honor. ”

 

Naruto cut his eyes from his arm to Sakura then back again. “So….?”

 

“Well you won’t die if that’s what you are worried about. Your body is too powerful to succumb to this. And the arm probably won’t lose any functionality. At worse you can expect to come down with some flu-like symptoms every now and then. That is until your immunity gets used to the new cells.”

 

“So that’s the good news?”

 

She smiled. “that was the bad news. The good news is that you have a medical expert as your friend. Whenever you feel sick come and see me and I’ll treat you. ”

 

Naruto took a moment to reflect on this. "Alright I feel a little off right now, what happens next?"

 

Sakura gestured towards her couch. “Simple, take off your shirt and have a seat.”

Confusion masked his face. “Really?”

 

She eyed her friend cooley. “Are you worried about me seeing you without  a shirt on? Even after I’ve pumped blood through your body by squeezing your heart with my bare hand.”

 

“I am not worried.” Naruto looked over at the couch. “Worried is not the right word.”

 

“Naruto” she sighed. “There’s nothing to be insecure about I am sure you have beautiful breasts.”

 

This forced a bark of a laugh from Naruto. He then caught her gaze for a moment before his hand slipped down to the waistline of his t-shirt.

 

It was an awkward fumbling walk to the couch for Naruto as he slipped his shirt over his head. Breathing heavily he tossed the shirt to the side and he plopped himself on the couch.

 

He drew in another sharp breath when Sakura stood over him and began to unravel the bandages on his arm .

 

“Thank you Naruto,”She said abruptly.

 

“For what?”

 

“I know you could have gone right to Tsunade for help. So thank you for trusting me.”

 

Naruto said nothing as Sakura removed the last bit of his bandages. He stayed silent as Sakura molded her chakra into her hands and went about running her palms along his arm.

 

“So Sasuke has been writing?” He asked tentatively

 

She smiled without pulling her attention away up from his body.  

 

“Yes, he has.”

 

“Good.” Naruto then sucked in a mouthful of air. “I think we should talk.”

 

Sakura agreed, with Sasuke back in a rational state of mind they needed to talk for the sake of their friendship.

 

Really they could have just gone on as if nothing had ever happened. But that didn't seem right, that wasn’t like them. Mistakes had been made, lies told. These things had to be resolved.

 

What would be said now would likely affect their relationship for the rest of their lives. So Sakura had to express herself eloquently, thoughtfully, kindly. She wanted to make things right.

 

It was as she was forming her thoughts into a cohesive and empathetic speech that Naruto dropped the bomb on her.

 

“I think I had feelings for you because I was competing with Sasuke.”

 

Her initial reaction was that it was quite possibly the stupidest thing she’d ever heard.

 

But she was a professional, she kept her concentration on healing. Soon enough Naruto’s body had regained its natural color and his heart rate had returned to normal. She wrapped his arm in fresh bandages and watched wordlessly as Naruto slipped his shirt back on. She sent him off in much better health than he had when he knocked on her door.

 

It was when he was gone, it was when she was sitting on her couch alone staring out into space, that she realized she was furious.

 

XXXXXX

 

The implications were obvious by the next morning. It was offensive really. She regretted not knocking his block off then and there. What he had said, what he had really been saying was that he had no reason to actually like her.

 

Such a statement was something completely different then him agreeing to move on, if moving on was what he needed to be happy she would have no problem encouraging him to move on. But if she took him at his word well there was never anything substantial to move on from. If Sasuke and Naruto had gotten along from the start would Naruto have never found anything appealing about her? Was that all that had attracted him  to her? Spite for Sasuke? So everytime he had asked her out he was trying to use her against Sasuke?

 

Of course with her new budding relationship with Sasuke it didn’t really matter whether or not Naruto found her attractive physically or otherwise. It was just that well, she had her pride did she not?

 

Indeed it was pride that prompted her the next day to bang against the door of Naruto’s house. She was there seeking either clarification or a duel. It was really up to Naruto what happened next.

 

Turned out he wasn’t home.

 

She would discover soon enough, from the Hokage of all people, that the world’s savior had impulsively decided to visit Sunagakure.

 

“He left in a hurry” Kakashi said. “It was very odd.”

 

xxxxxxxxx

 

It occurred to Sakura that Naruto had likely departed to escape her wrath which she had to admit was the right move. By the time Naruto had returned to the village Sakura had worked out her fury.

 

Though it had taken a few days. Her reputation was diminished a bit when her coworkers at the hospital walked into the bathroom to find her grinding her teeth in anger. And her finances were affected when she accidentally kicked a stone through the window of a bakery.

 

But eventually she had worked through her frustrations and after an intentionally vague discussion with Ino-

 

“Hey piggie you remember Akem from the Kirigakure corps well she wrote me a weird letter about a problem she was having.”

 

--Sakura settled on the the fact that she was letting her ego get in the way of the potential solution to a serious problem.

 

She had read once as a child “where there is love there is life.” As she grew older she added to the quote another simple truth. “Where there is life, there is suffering.” She knew very well the heartache love could bring and she would not wish that upon Naruto. If he felt that he had not really loved her, if his romantic affection for her had been the product of childish resentment. Then she would accept this, because it would mean Naruto would be happy, no one would suffer.

 

So when Naruto knocked on her door a month or so after she last saw him, she greeted him with a smile.

 

“Do I know you?” She asked.

 

“I think we went to the academy together,” Naruto answered.

 

“Oh now I remember.” She smiled, “Welcome back.”

 

“It’s good to be back.”

 

She led Naruto into her living room. “Let me guess, your arm is making you sick again?”

 

He nodded. “It’s taking a lot for me not to throw up on your rug.”

 

Sakura narrowed her eyes. “Naruto if you throw up on my rug I will kill you, then I’ll resuscitate you, and then I’ll kill you again.”

 

He chuckled. “Is it right for me to be more frightened of my medic than my sickness?”

 

“Shut up and get on the couch” she teased.

 

In a matter of moments Sakura was picking through his bandages.

 

“So how was Suna?”

 

“It was hot.”

 

“That remind me I’ve always wanted to ask Gaara how he keeps his hair looking so lustrous in all that humidity.”

 

“You like Gaara’s hair?”

 

“Trust me on this Naruto, Gaara’s hair is tremendous.”

 

“Oh.” Naruto said as she scratched at his scalp.

 

Sakura noticed this. “Are you thinking about doing something with your hair?”

 

“No-I don’t know-I was thinking about cutting it shorter.”

 

Naruto looked her in the face and then his own fell with disappointment.

 

“Maybe I won’t then.”

 

“What? I didn’t say anything!” Sakura exclaimed.

 

“Your face said something.”

 

“It did not!”

 

“It did!”

 

“Naruto” Sakura sniffed. “ I am sure anything you decide to do with your hair will turn out just fine.”

 

“Really?” Naruto asked, his voice laced with skepticism.

 

“I also think, well it’s just my opinion....but I think if you are going to do anything with your hair, you might be better suited with you hair a little longer-like your father’s.”

 

Delight sparkled in Naruto's eyes.

 

"It's just my opinion” Sakura repeated.

 

Naruto opened his mouth to reply but he stopped himself and simply sank further into the couch.

 

She waited but when it became apparent nothing further would be said she simply continued working in silence. No one spoke again until she was just about ready to end the operation.

 

“Sakura last time, I said something that you might have thought was--

 

"Offensive?" She interrupted.

 

“Yeah, I went over what I said after I left here and it...sounded wrong.’

 

As Sakura moved her hand across Naruto’s torso she could feel him staring intently at her. Instinctively she wiped a hand across her face as if something was there, it could have been sweat or even a bit of food.

 

There was nothing there.

 

“Naruto I understood what you were trying to say.”

 

“You did?” He said with relief in his voice. “I was worried you’d get mad.”

 

“I didn’t get mad,” She lied. “Like I said I understood what you meant to say.”

 

Sakura looked up just to see Naruto turn away as if the brightness of her would hurt his eyes.

 

She recalled immediately a snowy afternoon years ago when she had done something very hurtful to someone she cared about very deeply. She remembered Naruto’s words, they rang in her ears, they formed on her lips.

 

“I don't know if it did but....I am sorry if what I said hurt you Sakura-chan.”

 

Sakura kept the words to herself, because as she had said she could understand.

 

She finished healing him, replaced his bandages and warned him to come back as soon as he began to feel ill.

 

Naruto paused in her doorway and she knew he was considering her warning. Then he laughed like someone who had just picked up on a subtle joke.

 

“I guess with this I shouldn't stray too far away from you.”

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

They don’t hang out much anymore. Well more specifically they did not hang out together anymore.

 

“That sounds good, we should ask Ino to come along. You know who really likes that restaurant Chouji....We have to bring Shikamaru it will really annoy him....Sounds great Sakura-chan I’ll go get Sai.”

 

She enjoyed spending time with all her friends so this was not a tremendous problem. And she couldn’t complain too much  they still had time together when Naruto came to her for his treatments which had over the past year had become a monthly ritual.

 

“Let’s play a game” Sakura said.

 

Naruto’s attention was currently on Sakura's hands. He watched captivated as she rubbed a special herbal coating of her own making over his freshly bandaged arm.

 

“Naruto.”

 

His eyes flickered up to her. “A game?”

 

“It’s called ‘Secrets. It’s a game Ino and I play when we haven’t seen each other for awhile. It’s sort of a game that can only be played between really close friends.”

 

There is a pause as the many implications of her words settled on both of them.

 

Naruto nodded his assent.

 

“It goes like this person A tells a secret about themselves that they don’t think person B knows.  If person B does know the secret then that’s a strike against person A. If you get three strikes then you lose.”

 

“Alright let’s play.”

 

“Good, you go first.” Sakura said quickly

 

Naruto bit down on his lip and thought for a long time. “I have a small tattoo.”

 

Sakura’s jaw dropped.  “I should have mentioned the point of the game of the game is to start off with little secrets and build your way up.”

 

“Oh....”

 

“How, when?!” Sakura exclaimed.

 

“When I went to Suna I was hanging out with Gaara and he just hands me a drink that tasted like juice.....The next thing I remember is waking up with a tattoo. I have no idea how it happened. I tried asking Gaara about it but he only smirks smugly at me.”

 

Sakura innocently tapped a finger against her chin. “Can I see it?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?!”

 

“Because it’s embarrassing!”

 

Her eyes scanned up and down Naruto’s bare upper body. There was one vital question that needed to be answered now above all others,

 

“Naruto, where...is it?” She asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

 

Naruto averted his gaze. His face was now as red as his mother’s hair.

 

“I’m sitting on it.”

 

Sakura laughed loudly. For a really long time.

 

“Alright, alright,” Naruto said as he shifted uneasily on the couch. “I think it’s your turn to tell a secret now!”

 

“Okay, okay....” Sakura said as she wiped tears from her eyes.  “Just give me a second.”

 

“Take your time” Naruto grunted.

 

It took more than a few seconds for Sakura to regain her composure.

 

“Alright,” she declared after catching her breath.  

 

“When we were at the academy I cheated on an exam. It happened because I was having a really bad week. My body had not readily adjusted to some of the taijutsu exercises yet so when we had a week of taijutsu drilling I just well.. and I was still getting teased at that point so long story short I didn’t have a lot of room for multiplication on my mind. When we got a math test at the end of the week I was not prepared at all and I had to cheat off a girl sitting in front of me. We got a C plus, worst grade I ever got.”

 

She topped her story with a wistful sigh and looked to Naruto for his reaction.

 

“Sakura you knew that-” Naruto said with a tilt of his head. “-The teachers didn’t really have a problem with cheating as long as you didn’t get caught.”

 

“Yes I did know that, and looking back on it for a first time cheater I did remarkably well. But still, back then I felt like I should have been better prepared, I let myself down.”

 

Naruto reflected on this for a moment.

 

"You should be proud of yourself now you are a very important shinobi to the village.”

 

A pleased smirk came to her face. “I can't lie, there is something a little satisfying about the village’s greatest success story telling me I’ve come a long way”

 

"I’ve got something else to tell you” Naruto said.

 

“What?”

 

“My story was way way better.”

 

“Hey, I’m just playing the game right!  I’m going to have better and better secrets  as we go along. We just started and you just gave away your best story!”

 

“Did I?”  A mischievous gleam came to Naruto's eyes.

 

He held her gaze.

 

Sakura swallowed a mouthful of air.  “I-I am done. You’re healed, for now”

 

Right,” Naruto looked past her at a clock on the wall. “It’s late I should go.”

 

"Sure.”

 

He rose off the couch and swiftly slipped his shirt back on. Sakura stepped to the side as he made a beeline for the door.

 

“Hey Naruto,” she called out after him.

 

He turned to her.

 

She paused. “I’ll see you later then?”

 

Naruto nodded and headed for the door.

 

XXXXXXXX

It was a rare event but in the two years after the war Sakura did manage to see Sasuke when his travels allowed him to wander within reasonable distance to the village. It was a pretty straightforward affair she received a letter announcing Sasuke’s location, she excused  herself from the village, they met up and they well they dated.

 

From the outside looking in, their dates were fairly magical by most dating standards.

 

She had yet to have what anyone one consider a "bad date" while seeing Uchiha Sasuke.

 

Sasuke was always very charming. He was also surprisingly witty. She found herself smiling in delight whenever he chose to dazzle her with his cleverness.

 

Naruto in contrast was no match for Sasuke’s clever tongue. Though if the truth be told Naruto did make her laugh, really, really hard sometimes, by just being himself.

 

Initially Sakura had done her best to avoid comparing them. She had concluded long ago where the difference truly lay.

 

She was very, very fond of Naruto but she had been passionate about Sasuke for a long time.

 

After all these years her passion had remained. And Sasuke reciprocated her passion.  

 

Well at least he tried.

 

Sasuke tried hard, he tried very very hard to please her. The consequence of this was that there were times, there were  numerous times where she felt as if he were auditioning.

 

He was auditioning for her even though she was already in love with him. Which while again seemingly romantic from an outside perspective was a bit disconcerting when she gave it some consideration.

 

She tried to explain the problem to him once. Or more specifically she tried to explain while not directly addressing the problem.

 

And to his credit Sasuke did listen intently to her as she explained while skirting the crux of the issue.

 

Though he listened as a cooperative actor listens to his director. It regrettably fell a bit short of the intimacy of lovers exchanging private thoughts.

 

For what it was worth Sasuke was for all intents and purposes perfect for the role. Rather than be disappointed Sakura resolved herself to do her best, she’d be perfect in her co starring role.

 

Unfortunately she had never felt perfect in the company of Uchiha Sasuke in the past and she wasn’t sure how to start now.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

In between treatments Sakura found herself thinking about him in some form everyday.

 

“That idiot” she would chuckle to herself at work when she recalled some absurd statement he had made.

 

“That idiot” she smiled to herself at work when she recalled some accidentally adorable statement he had made.

 

However it was now very apparent to her that outside of her treatment Naruto was avoiding her. Well he was avoiding spending any more time alone with her than was absolutely necessary.

 

She knew why he was doing it, she understood his reasoning. Naruto needed to work things out. In time they would be fine.

 

It would be best to wait. Her fondness for Naruto would hardly diminish over time.

 

“Sakura-chan.....you are looking at my butt aren’t you?”

 

“I am not!”

 

Naruto dragged his shirt over his head and turned to her.

 

“You don’t have the byakugan, my pants are not transparent, I don’t know what you’re expecting!”

 

“I wasn’t expecting anything!”

 

He stared at her.  “Sakura....”

 

“Naruto...” She countered.

 

“I’m not showing you the tattoo.”

 

A spike of irritation flashed through Sakura. “Maybe it’s not about the tattoo maybe you just have a nice butt have you ever considered that?!”

 

Naruto flung his shirt to the side. “Well you have a nice butt too but you don’t catch me staring at it!”

 

“I don’t?” Sakura challenged.

 

Naruto and Sakura gazed at each other as if one were seeing the other for the first time.

 

“I am just going to sit down,” Naruto muttered.

 

“Yes, right,” Sakura replied.

 

Establishing an aura of strict professionalism Sakura went about her work  She changed his bandages gathered her chakra and once again started the healing process.  

 

She was about halfway done when Naruto cleared his throat.

 

“So here we are we are two friends with great butts just hanging out.”

 

Sakura acknowledged the remark with a playful roll of her eyes. It was an awkward attempt to break an awkward silence. The savior of the world was a bit of a dork.

 

“Naruto do you have plans for later?”

 

He stared up at her, “Later?”

 

“After this...Let’s hang out, here, y’know, together. We could watch a movie or something or we could just talk.”

 

“You want me to stay?” Naruto asked softly.

 

“Yes” she said without a moment’s hesitation.

 

Sakura was right, her fondness for Naruto would not diminish over time but what she had not expected was that it would increase.

 

“That’s if you don’t have any plans” She added softly.

 

Naruto thought for a moment and she found herself holding her breath.

 

“Okay” he said eventually. “I’ll stay.’

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Sakura could only tune him out.

 

It wasn’t that she had a low opinion of Hinata, the opposite was actually true.

 

Sakura was absolutely happy for him.

 

She was absolutely positively happy for him, for the both of them.

 

But when Naruto talked about their dating escapades she just found it hard to concentrate.

 

She was not proud of her somewhat insensitive and arguably hypercritical behavior but she simply could not bring herself to listen to him speak about his relationship. Which is why as Naruto spoke she focused on her work or how she could possibly get him to shut up.

 

She could hit him, she mused. knock him right through the roof. Though that seemed highly irrational especially in light of the fact that she had just finished healing him.

 

She could kiss him, a voice in her head said.

 

That would shock him into silence.

 

That would shock her into silence as well.

 

“Sakura-chan.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“You are wrapping the bandages too tightly.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” She flushed a deep red. “Let me just get the coating and you can go.”

 

She made a move to turn away but Naruto gently caught her by the hand. “Is there a problem?”

 

“Naruto,” she hesitated, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you love her? Really?”

 

After what seemed like a week of silence Naruto said. “I need her.”

 

A moment passed, a second at most, where they studied each other's face.  Then Sakura smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

 

“That’s great!’ She exclaimed.

 

“You think so?”

 

“Of course I do!”

 

She pulled back and held his face in both hands. She suddenly felt a startling sadness. She knew with certainty that one day Naruto’s body would adapt to his arm. For aesthetic reasons his arm would always be bandaged. But Naruto would be able to bandage himself. With no further illness the treatments would stop, and if he had been avoiding her before, well needless to say a new whirlwind romance would certainly give him different priorities.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

Sakura blinked away tears.  

 

“I am so happy.”

 

She leaned forward and placed her cheek against his. “Naruto we’ve both found love. Can you believe it?”

 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

It had not taken long for Sakura to get the feeling that Sasuke was guessing what she wanted  to hear. More often than not he guessed correctly. He hinted at marriage occasionally, he talked of their future, he made it seem all mapped out, fated.

 

From the outside looking in, the relationship seemed to be progressing well, with or without her input.

 

Sasuke was a smart man, he payed attention to details, he’d learned her tendencies, he had deciphered her wants and desires. He was romancing her like he fought his battles, with clever tactics and supreme precision.

 

There wasn’t any malice or deceit in his actions. He was just doing what he thought would make her happy. The true genius of Uchiha Sasuke was that he could have made her happy without really sharing himself with her. He could have made her happy once just by being at her side. He could have made her happy, but things had changed.

 

Sasuke’s motivation was gratitude, not love. This saddened her but it wasn’t as crushing as she would have once imagined. If there was anything to be really upset about, it was the typical, absolutely, comically awful timing of her life-changing revelations.

 

XXXXXXXXX

 

Sakura held on tightly as Naruto convulsed and a vile green liquid erupted from his mouth. Most of the liquid landed in the toilet, some of it landed on her.

 

“Okay get it out of your system” She said soothingly.

 

She held him from behind as he purged again until he began dry heaving. When his stomach had apparently emptied Sakura patted him softly on the back as she held him closer. They both dropped to the bathroom floor covered in sweat and vomit.

 

“Sorry about your rug” Naruto said breathlessly.

 

“It's okay I was thinking about buying a new one anyway.”

 

He groaned. “No, I am going to buy you a new one. How much did It cost?”

 

She told him, Naruto sprang up stuck his head in the toilet and released the contents of his belly.

 

“That's crazy” He said when he sank back down to the ground.

 

“Good taste is an expensive virtue.” Sakura countered.

 

Naruto started to laugh, but the act hurt too much for him to continue. He paused to collect himself.

 

“You know what she said?”

 

‘Tell me what she said."

 

"She said once in awhile I should try and make myself happy instead of  trying to make everyone else happy.”

 

Sakura waited two breaths before replying. “Well you and Hinata are similar in this regard. Both of you can be very insightful.”

 

“But what kind of person doesn't want everybody to be happy?” He asked.

 

“I think the point is that there are times where it might be okay to be selfish Naruto.”

 

Sakura placed her forehead against his  back. His body temperature was rising and she recalled how he had stumbled through her door with his eyes bright with fever. She’d been treating him for three years now and this was the worst he’d ever been. His condition she guessed had been aggravated by stress.

 

She patted him on the back once again. “Just lay back, I’ll get you on your feet again. And then we'll figure out a way to get her back.”

 

“You think I can get her back?”

 

“If you apologize sincerely yeah” Sakura answered.  “That assumes of course, that getting her back is actually what you want.”

 

Sakura was greeted by silence. .

 

“I don't think I’m a good person” Naruto said eventually.

 

“Naruto, that might be stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say” Sakura scolded. “And I've known you for most of my life so I’ve heard you say a lot.”

 

“It wasn’t that stupid...”

 

She could hear the hurt in his voice.

 

“I’m sorry” she whispered. “Listen I am as familiar with self pity as I am with the human anatomy. Self-pity, it makes you do and say stupid things.”

 

Naruto responded was a few ragged breaths.

 

She continued, “What I am saying is...You’re beating yourself up for no reason.”

 

He chuckled. “Well since I couldn't talk myself out of depression I thought I’d beat myself out of it. That’s kind of how I solve my problems. It’s worked really well for me so far.”

 

And there it was, the warmth and optimism now lacing his voice was a world away from the tone dripping with angst that was with him a moment ago. Sakura smiled into his back, this sounded like the Naruto she knew.

 

“Still I don't think I was fair to Hinata” Naruto coughed.

 

“All’s fair in love and war Naruto.”

 

This seemingly meaningless and awkwardly delivered statement caused Sakura to cringe in embarrassment a nanosecond after it was out of her mouth.

 

If Naruto had heard it, he didn’t show any signs that he did.

 

“The funny thing about all this is I was trying to make myself happy. Just like your treatments I needed her to get something out of my system.”

 

Sakura listened to Naruto breathe for quite some time before she mustered the courage to ask her next question.

 

“Did you get it out of your system?”

 

He answered with a snore.

 

“Naruto?”

 

She peeked over his shoulder to confirm that he was asleep.

 

He was in a deep sleep.

 

With a heavy sigh she stood up and picked Naruto off the floor. She carried him off to her bedroom and set him down on her bed. She cleaned him off and then began to remove his bandages gently so not to disturb his sleep.

When Naruto’s condition stabilized, Sakura tiptoed to her writing desk and started pouring into a letter everything she’d felt for the past two years. By the time Naruto awoke in the morning the letter was already on its way to a far off destination.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Sakura was childishly delighted by his reaction. The candlelit living room threw him off a little but when he sniffed and discovered that the scented candles had filled the air with the fragrance of cinnamon spice, well that really knocked him off balance.

 

He had no idea what to expect when she handed him the letter.

 

He twirled the letter in his hand glancing at the front and the back before lifting his head towards the ceiling.

 

“Umm, it would be easier to read with the lights on”

 

“Oh” Sakura said as she realized she may have jumped the gun a little with the lights.  

 

She rushed over to the light switch and the room immediately brightened.

 

Naruto stared at the letter.

 

Sakura called out to him from across the room. “That’s a copy of a letter I sent to Sasuke four months ago and I got an answer back a few days ago.”

 

Naruto offered her an uncertain glance before he sat down on the couch. Sakura watched on quietly as he read through the letter. She continued watching as he read through it a second time.

 

“This--What did he write back?” Naruto asked cautiously.

 

“He’s actually more confused than heartbroken but he’s given me his blessing."

 

“His blessing?” Naruto said his surprise bordering on shock.

 

Sakura licked her lips very slowly. She then walked towards the couch doing her best to try and sway with each step.

 

In her best attempt at a sultry voice she said, “He’s giving me his blessing to pursue my interests.”

 

Naruto eyed her curiously as she made her way towards him.

 

“Now I can see from here that your breathing rate has increased and your eyes are losing focus. You might at this moment feel a little woozy and I bet your palms are getting sweaty. Maybe you feel a tightening in your chest. You might think you are getting sick again but the truth is I’ve secretly injected you with a slow acting aphrodisiac...”  

 

She reached out touching him gently on his right cheek. No chakra strictly skin on skin. He quivered beneath her touch.

 

“So just let me know when it kicks in,” she said throatily.

 

Naruto stood up, rising to his full height for and just a moment he seemingly towered over her. She saw the flicker of wariness in his eyes and she read between the lines.

 

Do not make light of my feelings Sakura-chan.

 

Cheeks reddened Sakura looked off for a moment then returned to meet his gaze.

 

“Okay then, let’s play a game Naruto.”

 

“Secrets?”

 

“Yeah, one hundred percent honesty. I am going to go first.”

 

“Sure.”

 

She took in a deep breath. “I've fallen in love with you Naruto.”

 

“When?!” he exclaimed.

 

“Everytime you came to see me for the past two years. So that makes--”

 

She calculated quickly.

 

“--Twenty four times, believe it or not I’ve fallen for you twenty four times. And I am sure it will happen again tonight, tomorrow night, and the night after that, and the night after that for the foreseeable future.”

 

Naruto stared open mouthed at her.

 

Sakura laughed to herself. “To be perfectly honest there were some moments when I was healing you that I was just fantasizing about biting my initials into your neck.”

 

This knocked the air from Naruto’s lungs harder than any blow he had ever received on the field of battle.

 

“Well that was two secrets actually” Sakura said with surprising serenity.

 

Naruto put a hand in the air. “Wait can-we-can we just go back for a second.”

 

“But it’s your turn,” She told him.  

 

He stared at her, “Is this a genjutsu?”

 

“No”

 

“But if this were a genjutsu you wouldn’t tell me the truth.”

 

“Naruto” she growled.

 

A grin spread on his face, “Well that sounded exactly like how Sakura would growl.”

 

It was Naruto’s turn to look away.  “Okay one hundred percent honesty. I haven’t felt any pain in my arm for three months. I’ve actually been pretending to be sick for the last two treatments.”

 

He looked back to Sakura only to see her smile and shake her head. “That’s not good enough, I already know that.”

 

“But that...” Naruto frowned. Then his eyes widened “That actually makes perfect sense.”

 

“I’ve just been clearing your skin for the past two treatments"

 

Naruto rubbed his hands across his now obviously smooth, supple, and blemish free face.

 

“Okay, that stuff about the rivalry with Sasuke. That wasn’t true. I mean obviously we had a rivalry but.....about my feelings for you I was lying about that.”

 

Sakura drew in another deep breath. “That’s strike two.”  

 

Naruto paused.

 

“I love you” he whispered.

 

Sakura smiled as she waved three fingers in the air. “Sorry Naruto but you los-”

 

As if a sudden thought had occurred to him Naruto reached out for Sakura and placed one hand gently on the back of her neck. Sakura closed her eyes as he pulled her close, she leaned in and their lips met. It was a soft and delicate meeting at first but the kiss was the unsealing of a lifetime of mostly unspoken promises. The heat of the kiss amplified their embrace to feverish levels until they were both breathless but still clinging to each other.

 

“Finally” Naruto gasped between breaths.

 

“I know” Sakura sighed her grin all encompassing. “It’s about time I got to see that damn tattoo.”

 

Naruto laughed into her hair. He held on to her tight and kissed her again. “I am not that easy Sakura-chan you’ll have to buy me dinner first.”

 

She laughed into his chest. “Does ramen count?”

 

“Of course it does. Of course it does.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well that's the end of that story I might have rushed it a bit and maybe the ending was a little lame but I think was pretty funny.

If you have any thoughts let me know