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[Blayze]

Voiceover (Narrator): For every show, there is a plot. For every plot, there is a protagonist. For every protagonist, there is a beginning. For every beginning, there is a highly irritating voiceover during the very first episode. This is the story of that voiceover. What? Shut up or I'm fired? Okay... it's not like you need me for any other episodes. LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA L-

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Captain Implausibile - Episode I - The Phantom Moron
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Voiceover: Hi. My name is Spike. To most people, I'm just an ordinary guy. But I have a secret. A dangerous secret. It all started about a month ago. I was sat in front of my computer, while a voiceover similar to this one could be heard.

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*Flashback*
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Voiceover: Hi. My name is Spike. I'm just an ordinary guy. Earlier today I got fired from my job. But who cares? Not me. I had Subway for lunch.

Pop-up: Congratulations! You have been chosen as the target of a Superhero Upgrade!

Spike: What the? Well, this makes a change from porn spam. Okay, I'll bite.

*mouse click*

Voice: By clicking the pop-up, you have waived all your legal rights. Transfer will now commence.

Spike: Huh? Why can I hear a voice? Legal rights? Oh, this doesn't sound good.

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Technical Fault Screen
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Text: We'll be back on the air in just a second...

Spike: Should I be bleeding from there? I shouldn't, should I?

Advert: Baby Cookies: The delicious tastes of chocolate chip and infant blood, COMBINED!

Spike: COME BACK, SPLEEN! DADDY NEEDS YOU!

Text: Currently, there is a scene of horrendous and extremely graphic violence going on.

Spike: Will nobody staunch the bleeding? I feel faint...

Text: Please sit back and relax while we attempt to restore functionality to the protagonist.

Spike: MY ARMS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM? GIVE THEM BACK!

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Back to our regularly scheduled madness...
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Spike: Ugh... it's like my entire body has a hangover...

Pop-up: Thank you for accepting this Superhero Upgrade. Please be aware that we cannot be sued under any circumstances.

Spike: I'm gonna go smack my head against the door a few times... it can't make this feel any worse...

*Spike walks over to the door and headbutts it*

*smack*

*door turns blue and explodes*

Spike: What... the... HELL?

Voice: Congratulations, Spike! By clicking the pop-up, you allowed us to legally implant trace elements of anti-matter into your body!

Spike: Anti-matter... but wouldn't that be bad for me?

Voice: Not at all! We at Reject Superheroics Ltd have never lost a client... well, not after the Gravity Man and Suction Girl 'incident'... but that only resulted in a hefty fine... anyway! We have given you the powers of implausibility!

Spike: Impulse Titty? You've given my manboobs desires?

Voice: No, implausibility! You now have the power to make the totally unexpected happen! And seeing as how it would be totally unexpected for your body to survive after being infused with anti-matter, you're quite safe.

Spike: So I'm... a superhero now?

Voice: Yes. I mus-

Spike: YES! Let evil-doers all over the world tremble at the name... uh... the name... ah! Tremble at the name... CAPTAIN IMPLAUSIBLE!

Voice: Uh... I'm already regretting giving him the power...

Spike: End credits, ACTIVATE!

Voice: Great. He thinks this is a TV show or something. You watch, there'll be no-

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Credits
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Original Concept: Paul
Storyboard: Paul
Liability: None

Voice: Well bugger me! This IS a TV show! Look ma, I'm on TV! Damn, no physical form...

Copyright Paul Watkins 2004. Distributed in Tenchicolour.

Voiceover (Spike): So now you know the beginning of this little story. Or rather, you know all that we want you to know at the current time. When or if there are plot twists that require flashbacks into the past before this point, you'll get to see them.

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Preview
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Voiceover (Spike): Next time, on Captain Implausible! Death Of A Door-To-Door Salesman!

Voiceover (Voice): Where does he get these crappy rip-off episode titles from?