11 replies to this topic

[Soflateam]

Why hello thar!

*Points to name at the top left corner of this post*

As you can see, my name is Soflateam. I've been lurking these boards for quite a while now, and only posted a couple of things. *Looks down and shuffles feet* I am ashamed of myself.

*Looks back towards the growing crowd of Heaven & Earther's and smiles*

Anyways, I would like your opinions on this new story of mine! The first piece of creative writing I have ever written!

*Points to linky*

Legends in the Making

It's a NaruSaku romance/adventure story containing the following:
1. Hopefully cute and fluffy NaruSaku scenes (I'm trying!)
2. Eventual butt-kickin' of all of their enemies
3. Possible Ino involvement!
4. Some comedy? (I try to be a funny guy, but I don't always succeed)

It's an AU, so it's not all exactly canon, but don't ya worry! Hopefully I made it interesting enough to not need the canon influence! :thumbs:

I'd most definitely appreciate it if you could take a minute and review if you were to read it. I'd love any tips and constructive criticisms I can get in order to improve on my writing.

*Looks around the crowd for a moment*

Umm, have any of you seen my sanity? I heard we were supposed to leave it at the door, but when I did, the door went poof! and disappeared. Probably a way of trapping us here, but that doesn't matter, this place is awesome!

*Walks over Kishi's house and directs him to the forums, and then points him to the smiley below*



See Kishi?! That is what should be going on in the manga right now!

(Err, yeah. I've had quite a bit of caffeine just now. Was trying to stay awake long enough to finish chapter 5 of my story.)

Edited by Soflateam, 06 May 2008 - 08:22 PM.

[Gnosismaster]

I hope that it ends up NaruSakuIno.

[catsi563]

Its good stuff solfa Im a NaruSakuIno fan myself lots of fun with that trio.

[Vyse]

Oh.. I just reviewed this a little while ago! Quite the awesomesauce you served there!

[Soflateam]

Thanks for the reviews, and comments, guys!

I've already got quite a few ideas for the next chapter, now I just need to tweak 'em and get to writing! (Yeah, yeah, I work fast, can't ya tell?)

And Vyse, you are correct. Us men can be perverts sometimes (It might be a reason to why I like Ino so much. I like the way she looks.)

I'm still debating NaruSakuIno, but, I've put a lot of thought into it so far (I've been thinking since I first came up with the plot a few months ago) and I've determined I most likely will make her part of it, but not until later in the story. There needs to be sufficient development first.

On a side note: Does anyone else ever get those PMs from fans of another pairing? I've gotten three just today from NaruHina shippers badmouthing my pairing choices (Which is shown on my profile.)

*sigh* Better get used to 'em I guess. (Although they are creative. One even told me that NaruHina is cannon because when Naruto's lineage is released, Hinata will gain him through the clan restoration act. Is there even such a thing?)

Eh, got off topic a bit. Anyways, I should have the next chapter out in a day or two. Just a matter of motivation on my part.

[catsi563]

They happen. Best to ignore them, and if you respond at all respond nicely. Its better to avoid getting into long winded rants.

I base my pairing choices off of my own feelings and enjoyment. And I even thanks to Mizuras NaruSaku manifesto have empirical evidence to back my choice up =^__^=

As to hinata getting naruto by virtue of a clan restoration act thats about as ludicrous as most of the NaruHina fics out there.

Ive not gotten any such messages myself personally regarding In your Eyes and In your arms. but then again In your Arms makes such a compelling argument for NaruSaku that I cant see anyone actively challenging it with even a remotely viable argument.

[Vyse]

Don't worry about pm's and flames.. I get them all the time! I've recieved everything from praise to death threats since I first started posting on that site, so I don't really care anymore. Sometimes they're funny (this one guy claimed he would hack my computer and fill my hd with illegal pr0n), and other times it might be a little disturbing like the one guy who told me he... groomed his moose (rated P for pervert) while reading my fic. There's crazy people reading your fics, but in the end its always your choice what to do next so don't mind them.

I actually got request from a NaruHina shipper today for me to change the pairing in one of my fics to NaruHina, and I found 20 videos on Youtube of a baby laughing and sent him the url's in my reply. I think that should be enough to understand that I lol'd at his insolence!

[Jenskott]

On a side note: Does anyone else ever get those PMs from fans of another pairing? I've gotten three just today from NaruHina shippers badmouthing my pairing choices (Which is shown on my profile.)

*sigh* Better get used to 'em I guess. (Although they are creative. One even told me that NaruHina is cannon because when Naruto's lineage is released, Hinata will gain him through the clan restoration act. Is there even such a thing?)

The WHAT? That is the most preposterous argument I have ever heard. So now Naruto will not end up with Hinata because he loves her but because an imaginary law will force him to it?

It sounds to the unbelievablingly sexist "Sasuke will wed Sakura because he needs a functional womb!" SasuSaku argument, or a bad fanfic plot. Actually, sometimes harem fics use that plot: Tsunade forces to Naruto to marry several women for restoring his clan.

Sincerely, it sounds stupid -and more important, demeaning- to me. Obviously, it doesn't mean someone else can't enjoy them.

Now... I'll be sure to check your history. Regarding NaruSakuIno, I'm torn about it. Part of me thinks it can ruin the story, but other part of me is very fond of NaruSakuIno, and wants reading more fics with them.

The trouble is very few threesome fics develop the relationship believably.

To be believable to me, a NaruSakuIno fic must deal with the current characterizations and answer the next questions: Why would Ino fall in love with Naruto? Why he would chase her right when he's has one chance with Sakura? Why would both girls share one man when they utterly refused doing so earlier? And why would they fall in love with each other?

Unfortunately many NaruSakuIno fics hook up the three of them all of sudden, without build-up or development and with little explanation. Or else the author changes the history altogether (replacing Ino with Sasuke in Team 7, for example), which is lazy.

My favorite NaruSakuIno fic currently is Mind of Others by Traekor (you can find the link in the Recommendations section) why it answers those questions and deals with the troubles that relationship would bring, without changing the history or the characterizations Kishimoto has stablished so far. I Will Believe by Willson is also good, but it changes the history using the "different teams" plot cliché to build the relationship.

Again, I like NaruSakuIno, but I'd wish reading more good fics using that threesome (right like I like reading NaruSaku fics, but many of them are crap. The rubbish always outnumbers the good stuff in all fandoms, and the corn is often mixed with the chaff).

[Soflateam]

I'll have to agree with you on the demeaning part when it comes to these clan plots. I've seen stories where Sakura is forced to marry Sasuke so she can have his babies. Then theres the ones where, like you said, Naruto/Sasuke is forced by the Hokage to marry multiple women and breed like a rabbit. It's not fair to the women.

I'm a very indecisive person, but once I make up my mind, it usually stays that way. It's one reason I'm so stuck on this Ino thing, and I'd rather try and figure it out before I get too far into the story. Not only so I can build up the story to fit it better, but because some people don't exactly agree with the trio, so I'll give them a warning if it'll happen.

Your post gave me a lot more food for thought. I have read those stories you mentioned multiple times, but I went back this morning and reread them.

Mind of Others' way of handling the relationship was believable, and it made sense. It makes me doubt that I'd be able to come up with a viable reason to build the foundation of the NaruIno relationship.

Your questions made me think the most. I only had an answer to two of them, and the answers weren't all that great if I were to be honest with myself.

My problems lie in building up Naruto's interest, I believe. Building up Ino's interest in Naruto would be a lot easier than building up his interest in her. With that problem, two of those questions you had asked go unanswered.

The sharing part would be tricky, also. But I believe it would still be easier than building up Naruto's interest. By the point in the story the NaruIno relationship would start, there would have been many changes with Sakura and Ino, bringing them to a very close friendship. (Teammates should be very close, they do go through sticky situations with each other, after all.)

All in all, I'm not entirely sure I could succeed in building a believable relationship. As much as I'd personally like to include Ino in the relationship, I also don't want to ruin the story by just throwing her in as part of it.

*Sigh* It's a pity all of the friends I know that are into Naruto are SasuSaku/NaruHina shippers or I'd be able to bounce ideas back and forth with 'em. They won't help me with this cause they don't think Sakura is right for Naruto. (I don't think they care for romance, either.)

[Jenskott]

Seriously? Neither of mine friends who are on Naruto think there will be NaruHina/SasuSaku. Neither of them is a shipper, but all think Naruto and Sakura will eventually get together.

Heh. I remember this conversation between two of them during the beginning of "Second Sasuke Rescue" arc in the anime: "Is already Sakura dating Naruto in the manga?", "No. And... actually there's people who thinks Naruto will hook up with Hinata", "Are you joking? Is there people who thinks seriously that?".

Now, I agree building up Ino's interest would be relatively easy. She isn't SO shallow like fandom would want us believing. She realized Sakura's worth when the rest of her classmates bugged her. She also could realize what kind of boy Naruto is. After all, there's one precedent for one Sasuke fangirl discovering Naruto's worthiness.

Another gripe I have with several NaruSakuIno fics is the way they deal Sakura/Ino's relationship. You don't wake up one day and then you realize you are homosexual/bisexual, specially if you have always liked the opposite gender. However, Sakura and Ino make just that in a lot stories. To justify it, a lot authors use the "sometimes they experimented when they were children" excuse, so it doesn't seem so forceful and abrupt.

But that's lazy, and if you think about it, it can be downright creepy. They were twelve when the manga started. They broke up their friendship when they were kids. Are you telling me they made out when they were young kids?

I think it would be more proper stating they loved each other since they were children (not sexually or romantically), but they hadn't realized because they spent their early teens fighting at each other. And right now circumstances are forcing them to face what they mean to each other.

By the way, they were friends, then became rivals, and now they were rebuilding their friendship. I think it would be a good idea explaining because they would be willing complicating further their relationship by becoming lovers, right when they were mending it.

[Leney]

I think with the NaruSakuIno (bisexual) threesome, you can try making the center of the pairing Sakura instead of Naruto. Sakura has a good connection with both Ino and Naruto in canon so it wouldn't be to awkward.

[Soflateam]

I've updated it with Chapter 6 - Testing


I'm not completely satisfied with the chapter, but I wanted to release it before I went on the one week break I'm taking. (Explained in the AN)

Hope you guys enjoy it, at least! :thumbs: