227 replies to this topic

[Khaleesi]

 
Long story short. My friend dated a host, or that's what she wants me to believe. (I think she's just been taken advantage from him, but who cares.) Anyways, the host, my friend, and I went out once to eat dinner. When my friend went to the bathroom, this guy sat next to me, whispered to my ear saying, "how do you like guys" while his hand touched my legs, went on my shoulder and YUCK! I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYMORE I DO NOT WANT TO REMEMBER!

So, was he bisexual? Was he gay but wanted to keep the appearances? Oh. I'm imagining what happened next   Poor you. Just tell me you punched him or something. Did your friend say something or just laugh? Sorry, I'm made of curiosity. I won't ask you more if it makes you uncomfortable

 

Well if that were the case, there should have been girls approaching me. Which there weren't.

Or maybe I attract "gays only" HAHAHAHA........oh dear *cries*

I believe is  a thing of the gender. I think girls tend to be more respectful about these kind of things. They know what is to be harassed is. Boys are taught that they own the world. But...it seems that you look defenceless. Are you a tiny teeny baby with a cute but bitter expression?  Hehe, so don't worry, you can be good looking for woman too but I doubt they will just jump to you as men do. Except if they are just looking for sex and you will be like "Can't touch this."

Edited by theunburnt, 08 January 2015 - 04:57 PM.

[Naruko]

Long story short. My friend dated a host, or that's what she wants me to believe. (I think she's just been taken advantage from him, but who cares.) Anyways, the host, my friend, and I went out once to eat dinner. When my friend went to the bathroom, this guy sat next to me, whispered to my ear saying, "how do you like guys" while his hand touched my legs, went on my shoulder and YUCK! I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYMORE I DO NOT WANT TO REMEMBER!

Well I couldn't resist replying to that. Lmao. That guy was just ridiculous. And he was dating your friend, kitten. Now you know how we feel. Even if I like men, I feel disgusted when someone tries to force things like that. If a conversation can't happen, I sure won't be interested in any way. Ugh. Did he harass you? Omg.

 Well if that were the case, there should have been girls approaching me. Which there weren't.

Or maybe I attract "gays only" HAHAHAHA........oh dear *cries*

Girls are taught not to do it. Guys are "supposed" to take the iniative, I know, it's kitten, but it's reality. A guy can't say that he is not attractive to women because they don't approach him. First of all, you seem to be a very difficult person to approach. Also, you're INTJ, right? Your type doesn't usually notice when people are hitting on you (except for extreme cases like the ones you just mentioned) lmao. And second, unfortunately, a lot of women think that approaching a man means you are being too "easy" and it will make you less interesting. kitten too but things are more complicated for us when we're interested in someone. How many times have you seen a girl suddenly asking for a guy's phone number?

[Khaleesi]

Girls are taught not to do it. Guys are "supposed" to take the iniative, I know, it's bullsh**, but it's reality. 

I believe it's different there? I thought women are the ones who confess °^° The so called "kokuhaku". But idk

[Naruko]

I believe it's different there? I thought women are the ones who confess °^° The so called "kokuhaku". But idk

Well I'd like to know more about their culture, but aren't the women there quite reserved? Like the loyal japanese wife that ramen mentioned? I just supposed that their thoughts on approaching men wouldn't be any different because ramen said that that man that approached him wasn't being normal at all (someone that confesses without knowing the person), so maybe they confess, but don't take the initiative when it comes to socializing and showing interest? Tbh, I don't know, I'm just supposing.

Edited by Naruko, 09 January 2015 - 02:48 AM.

[Khaleesi]

Well I'd like to know more about their culture, but aren't the women there quite reserved? Like the loyal japanese wife that ramen mentioned? I just supposed that their thoughts on approaching men wouldn't be any different because ramen said that that man that approached him wasn't being normal at all (someone that confesses without knowing the person), so maybe they confess, but don't take the initiative when it comes to socializing and showing interest? Tbh, I don't know, I'm just supposing.

idk.

and I want to correct myself I didn't mean exactly "the women are the ones who confess" but "it's not weird if they do it/it's something normal". 

as how you said, it's probably just a thing about confessing and not socializing in general

[narusaku256]

This is turning out to be an educational thread for me o_O Naruko and Unburnt are teaching me things >_< Great though. As it is....I needed some enlightenment and answers to some questions and reasons for some answers XD Thank You Naruko and Unburnt xD I'd appreciate if I get more info on the subject you are talking about

[Naruko]

This is turning out to be an educational thread for me o_O Naruko and Unburnt are teaching me things >_< Great though. As it is....I needed some enlightenment and answers to some questions and reasons for some answers XD Thank You Naruko and Unburnt xD I'd appreciate if I get more info on the subject you are talking about

 

Oh, no problem! Lol I didn't think I was being helpful, I'm glad. Anything, you can ask me via pm. 

[ramenanmitsu]

Super Duper annoying day at work.

My female colleague sent a message to everyone in our office today who are around 20-30 years old.

'Hello everyone.
As you all know Ms. O in the general affairs department always come thirty minutes earlier than working hour to clean around the office. We are always taking advantage of her kindness and therefore I thought we shall clean in her stead and help her! From now on, I'll make a paper card on who is coming on what day to clean. For each person it will be two times a week.

Do you agree?'

Everyone other than me sent they agree. Why? Because that's typical Japanese behavior. If you don't agree to help someone in need of help, you're going to be thought as a heartless ass.

As for me? I ignored the message. There's no way I'm going to send "I disagree" when everyone can watch my move. But there's no way I'll send agree either to this message asking for people to make a choice when there actually isn't any choice. That manipulative kitten made a situation no one can refuse.

So I ignored and wished those "volunteers" who agreed good luck.

The next day I found out I was in the cleaning person's list and that I had to come to office thirty minutes early to clean up two times a week.

So I sent a message PERSONALLY to this manipulative kitten.

My message:
"Dear A-San,

Hi, this is ramenanmitsu.
Sorry, since I really didn't follow up with your e-mail message, I don't understand about this cleaning list. Could you please make it clear for me? What time should I come? Since I live one hour and a half from office, early morning is a bit hard for me, can't I clean during work hours? And how much overtime pay do we receive for this?"

A-San's message

"Dear ramenanmitsu,

Clean up is something we should do as volunteering. It's not something we ask for overtime pay......

But until now, Ms. O has always worked hard for us. So we should help her instead of taking advantage of her!

And you cannot clean during the office hours. It will be noisy for people. "

My message
"Dear A

Thank you very much for your reply!
Sorry, I thought of this as one of the tasks.

You are right. Cleaning is what people should actively volunteer instead of being forced. In this case, since I didn't say that I will do it, please take me off the cleaning list.

Also regarding to Ms. O coming before office hours to clean, have you talked to the president about this? Did you ask him to hire a cleaning lady? According to the labor law, coming to office early for cleaning is counted as labor time and therefore it's usual to receive overtime pay. Making other people also work overtime without payment is not the the way to help Ms. O and solve this problem.

Thank you and best regards"

A's message
"Alright.

But since everyone is actively going to clean and they will wonder why you're not doing it, please send a message to everyone writing the reason why you're not cleaning."

Me: *ignores message to assess the situation"

2 hours later

A's message to everyone
"Dear everyone,

Since ramenanmitsu doesn't want to clean I am very sorry but I had to change the cleaning list.

Again, I'm very sorry for this everyone."

Me: .......She said it's voluntary work and yet when I refuse she's trying to shame me in front of everyone........*writing message to my lawyer friend asking for advise. Once I receive it I'll send it to the human resources department.

Edited by ramenanmitsu, 27 January 2015 - 12:54 PM.

[Change]

Why couldn't she just change the cleaning list...

Also that was a kitten move calling you out like 

[ramenanmitsu]

Why couldn't she just change the cleaning list...
Also that was a kitten move calling you out like 

I know right? In Japan you have to stay with the crowd. (Which I never do) This is a very low-level "power harassment". In other companies the situation is a LOT worse so lucky me.

[Change]

I know right? In Japan you have to stay with the crowd. (Which I never do) This is a very low-level "power harassment". In other companies the situation is a LOT worse so lucky me.

So you have to stay in the crowd because you have to be polite...oh boy
Like how worse?

[Khaleesi]

If she's being a manipulative b*tch, then do the same.

 

"Dear everyone,

I feel like I need to explain myself for what you've heard about this situation from A-san: I live too far from here and it is really impossible to me to come here that early. Not only that but I take care of my mother who have suffered from some illness that made her be hospitalized for monnths*. We all go home late so I'm sure you are aware of our situtiation here. Now, it took me 1 hour and half to get there and when I'm home I have to take care of my mother. If I'm not at work, I'm helping her. So, I ask for your comprehension. 
Furthermore, I didn't volunteer to be part of the list but A-san included me anyway. Didn't she even ask for my reasons? I understand what is happening to Ms. O but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be happy with us helping her in first place if it's being inconvenient for us. That's why in cases like this are required volunteers. Are you a volunteer? If the situation is actually inconvenient to you, please speak up right now. Ms. O deserves a genuine help. What would she say if she hears about this? Will she really accept it? I really doubt it.

Now, if you are in a better situation and want to help, then great! I wish you the better of the luck. A-san had the heart to notice Ms. O situation first so I believe she is the best one for the job. A genuine help is what really matters.

 

I am very sorry for this situation everyone. Thank you for your comprehension. "

 

When you talk to the crowd, you have to appeal at their feelings. Not only compassion and guilt but you need to make them identify with your situation. You are not fighting for your independence, you are stealing their souls from the control of A-san. Who leads the crowd is the winner.

 

Oh, and I was forgetting about this: The next weeks they will observe you, so you need to act like you were tired, worried and kitten. At least in front of these people.

Edited by theunburnt, 27 January 2015 - 11:32 PM.

[ramenanmitsu]

@TheMagicConch
In some companies the boss will force the employee to do what he doesn't want to do and if he refuses the boss will scream at him in front of the whole office. My company isn't like those typical traditional companies so I don't have that kind of problem.

@theunburnt
That kind of approach isn't going to work. It will escalate into an unnecessary fight over messages. People will be fed up and annoyed that they've gotten involved in this feud between us.

Instead I asked my friend who's a lawyer and he said that this would be considered as "power harassment" defined by the minstry of labor. So I sent a message to the HR manager and will talk to her about it today.

[Khaleesi]

>:c I'm mad.

But yeah, your friend is right. I'm just dramatic.

Good luck.

[Change]

@ramen

Oh I see, that's very unprofessional on the bosses part tho. Such matters should be discussed in private, unless it's that bs excuse of "showing an example"

>:c I'm mad.

But yeah, your friend is right. I'm just dramatic.

Good luck.

You're not dramatic, you just don't let people talk to you like that. 

[Khaleesi]

You're not dramatic, you just don't let people talk to you like that. 

I am dramatic but if that happens to me I wouldn't care of what they would think or what they could say about me in first place. Then I would do what Ramen's friend told him to do. 

[Change]

I am dramatic but if that happens to me I wouldn't care of what they would think or what they could say about me in first place. Then I would do what Ramen's friend told him to do. 

Hmm, you sound remind me of my good friend. 

"I have worked for many bosses and let me tell you, never let somebody try to step over you, if you must talk back to that person than let it be"

But of course, what Ramen is doing is the best thing possible. 

 

Ramen I think you handled this situation very well

[ramenanmitsu]

Sorry for my late update. That incident became a large matter that even the company president held a meeting.

So what happened was, later that girl sent a message to everyone, pasting the conversation between me and her. In her message she wrote, "if you want to know why ramenanmitsu isn't participating please read the below."

That was a kitten move.

I sent that message to the HR department and then the executives held a meeting. In the end, the executives unanimously came to the decision that what I said was correct. The girl was made to move at the far end seat of the office. Nobody hated me for being honest. Maybe some were even grateful that I said something they were too afraid to say.

But I was still pissed at her attitude. If she's going to attack people just because they don't agree with her, she should just join the ISIL and bomb the hell out of other people. So I briefly planned to destroy her.

To be continued.

[ramenanmitsu]

1. I took a screenshot of the message she sent to everybody.

2. I reserved a meeting with a mental clinic. I was planning to act like a person in depression. Because if you are diagnosed by the doctor as having depression AND the reason is work, the government is strictly going to check the company. My sister, my uncle, my aunt from both sides have been diagnosed as depression. I thought acting as one shouldn't be so hard.

3. I planned to call my lawyer so I can sue her/the company for "putting me under depression and making it impossible for me to work" and gain cash.

Well everything was going fine and dandy until my surrogate father called me(he's not my real father. He's a successful businessman who treats me like I'm his real kid. In reality, he treats me better than his real son. He teaches me a lot about his business and make me help his company sometimes so I can learn about business. Anyways, I admire him).

So I told him that I planned to destroy this kitten. Then he got angry.

Him: So if you stoop down to their level are you going to be satisfied? I always thought you were the guy who never cared about the kitten people put you through and continuously aim higher. These people never mattered to you. What's wrong with you now?

Ignore the people who try put people down for having different opinions. That's not how a business works.

Me: *annoyed*

The next day I still thought that what my surrogate father said was too idealistic and that he didn't understand me. I worked feeling annoyed and unsatisfied. But then I got called by my boss and that changed my feelings completely.

He said that the project I worked on was very successful and that he was very glad with the results I made during work. I was very happy to hear that because during that time I consciously made an effort to make the quality of my work more higher so to step myself up. The boss realized!

And then at that moment I realized that's the only thing I aim for. To be more competent. All the other troubles seemed very insignificant, stupid and a waste of time. There are more important things. And for me, being competent and recognized is more important than being liked.

Later that day, the HR asked me if I had any requests towards that girl. I replied I had no requests and I don't care about that case anymore. The HR was surprised. But that's okay, that girl is only like a mosquito to me.

In the end, everything went very well for me at work. My concentration has heightened, the reports I made are praised, and people ask me out a lot to have dinner or lunch.

Edit: the only complaint I have right now is that I have to live in the hotel during weekends because there is too much work and that I literally cannot sleep even for an hour from Saturday to Sunday.

Edited by ramenanmitsu, 04 February 2015 - 01:58 PM.

[Khaleesi]

*claps* 

I understand your feelings of revenge, but I agree with your surrogate father this time. Mostly because I think you did humilliate her and you got praised. Your plan was nice, tho, lol. You really are an interesting person.

Good luck, Ramen.

 

And, WHEN and IF you have time someday in the distant future, can you read this manga? http://mangafox.me/m...v01/c001/1.html I would like to to know what you think of it.