I'm just going to go strait to the question: Do girls like quiet guys?
To be honest, I'm almost 20, I've had one girlfriend in my life, and she was...well...we had known each other since we were in pre-school. Unfortunately, though, after we graduated from high school, we went to separate universities in pursuit of different careers. I haven't talked to her for the better part of....two years now at least.
Through most of my life I was...bullied to put it simply. I never had much of a connection to anyone other than a few people who I could just barely call my friends. I was probably the most hated kid in elementary school. Every time I tried to greet someone, they'd tell me to go away or to bug somebody else. I don't know why I was disliked so much. I don't know what I did to make everyone practically hate me so much they wouldn't even look at me. It kinda just...happened.
During recess, I would always just sit against the wall by myself, or just sit on a swing or on the slide away from everyone else. No one ever asked me to play with them, and every time I asked I was 'rudely' turned down. A lot of the bigger kids would push me around, knock me on the ground, and kick sand in my face. Eventually, it got to a point I tried to take my own life. Three times I attempted...three times I failed.
My parents were never really much help, and less can be said about the teachers or school staff. I'd beg my dad to home school me or let me move to another school. He'd get mad, swat me, and tell me to toughen up and stand up for myself. Easier said than done.
At the end of my fifth grade year, I finally convinced my dad to let me go to a different school. At first I was excited. A new start. A new chance to make friends and turn my life around. Turns out I couldn't have been any more wrong. All throughout my sixth grade year, I was beaten in the locker rooms by the other boys, teachers would fail me for no reason, and I was practically made a fool in front of everyone while my coach tested my...need for more brain power. I wasn't the smartest in the class, granted, but I wasn't the dumbest either...even though the people at this school would tell you other wise.
I went back to my original school the next year. Things got better for a while because I was a returning student to a school that barely had enough kids to keep its doors open. For once...I felt like I was accepted. People came up with nicknames for me such as D-Rut (My name being Dalton Reutlinger) among other things. I tried out for basketball, was one of the fastest on the team. I played a lot of dodge ball with a lot of the other kids. A lot of people were in agreement that I was the best player. And also, my grades had never been higher. My science teacher instantly took a liking to me, and we became pretty close friends. In fact, I'd say he was the father I never had.
Then one day, the following year, one of the new kids became jealous of me and started a fight with me. I defended myself out of self-defense, but for some reason I was labeled the person at fault. I was suspended from school for a few days, and when I came back...my world fell to pieces. I was right back at square one. People didn't want anything to do with me, they didn't want to talk to me, hell, they didn't even want to talk to me. Every time we got a new student, I never got the chance to really get to meet him because the others would say there wasn't any reason to hang out with me or get to know me.
I wasn't long after that I became a loner. I gave up on trying to make friends, I gave up on trying to do new things. I feared going to parties, I feared going out to meet new people, even after I graduated from high school and went to college for a while. I just have this...constant fear of being rejected for no reason like I was throughout most of my childhood. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know who I ticked off enough for them to make everyone hate me so much.
I've never really spoken of this to anyone before, but I have to get an answer. I'm tired of being a loner. I'm tired of living in constant fear of rejection! Just once I want to know what it's like to actually have a conversation on my cell phone, whether it be texting or talking. I need a friend. I need someone I can call and ask how their day went at work, or someone I can give a hard time without them getting mad at me. I want to have a reason to leave my house on Friday or Saturday night and hang out somewhere and not have this constant feeling that I'm alone in this world.
Well, maybe it'll change in the near future. My parents are thinking about setting me up on a blind date. But I feel so disconnected from everything that I may as well not even know what a date is. How do I go about a blind date? Do I take her to see a movie, or do I take her to a restaurant (nothing expensive) and just get to know her? I can keep a conversation going so long as I'm spoken to first, I'm a nice guy, I'm pretty shy as you can imagine, I can be funny if I see an opportunity, I'm a hard worker , and I don't think I'm...terribly ugly.
I don't ask for much from a woman. Good sense of humor, decent looking, has a nice personality, likes to laugh, fun to be around, and if we end up getting married...house work, cooking, and taking care of the kids (if we have any). I guess those are technically a woman's job, right? Don't want to come off as sexist or anything.