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Naruto: The Demon Within by Bryon

AU NaruSaku Epic Revamping

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#1 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 27 October 2020 - 07:16 PM

Hey, guys, it's Bryon here. After talking in Derock's Writing Discussion topic about his own story and what he's doing, how I have been working on revamping my fanfic from years ago, Naruto: The Demon Within,  plus Chatte discussing her own fanfiction too... well, it's gotten me to wanna do a discussion thread of my own for The Demon Within.

 

To begin with, Naruto: The Demon Within was begun back in 2004 by me and my friend Kurt when we had been reading Naruto during the Sasuke Retrieval Mission, around the time Naruto and Sasuke were getting ready to throw down in the Final Valley, beginning around the time during Sasuke's flashback to his motivations of wanting to kill Itachi, and we just kinda rolled with it from there with our ideas based on what we knew at the time, even improvising some stuff. We mostly did this as a fun kind of talking RP that we would do since high school.

 

But as years passed, we kinda ignored it, until I wanted to go back and do some revamping after having not written it for a long time, as well as the ending influencing me to do it at the same time too. We kept a lot of the same ideas we had going on back in '04, though we also began to work on some new stuff too to evolve things.

 

•[Premise]•

 

The basic premise of TDW is simple; it's a similar approach to the main canon, but it diverges in a lot of things, such as past events, and even the present. The biggest example is the Final Valley battle with Naruto and Sasuke. Rather than it being where Naruto loses and Sasuke gets away to go to Orochimaru so he can get power to surpass Itachi and Naruto due to his hate and jealousy for them, and his own inability to see his own weakness, it ends in a draw with Naruto and Sasuke both taking each other out, and returning to the village when Kakashi finds them after the fight, which also does a number on the Final Valley too.

 

So after arriving back in the village, more chaos ensues, and leads to events where Naruto begins his own training since he doesn't go with Jiraiya out of the village, Sasuke is recruited into the Foundation by Danzo since Danzo can sympathize with his jealousy but also wanting to hope he will die in a mission so Itachi can't use him as a bargaining chip because of Danzo's involvement with wanting the Uchiha clan slain, and Sakura training under Tsunade.

 

The main part of the story takes place 3 years after these events, where the Leaf Twelve (now known as Super Rookies or the Dirty Dozen) are prominent and raised to the rank of Chunin (though Shikamaru is a Special Jonin and Neji is a full-on Jonin), and it involves various battles with all kinds of foes; Orochimaru and the Sound Village, the Akatsuki, actual demons and other beings outside of the perception of humans as well as Madara Uchiha.

 

But the story also involves aspects such as Naruto's role as a Jinchuriki, his bonding with Kurama, etc. and the bonds he makes to become the kind of person he wants to be, as he aims to become a Hokage of his own way, without needing others to influence him.

 

•[Character changes]•

The biggest thing in this to set it apart from main canon is how some of the characters are. In the case of the big three of Team Kakashi, it's really shown. Even if Naruto has a lot of some of his old mannerisms with elements of how he could be in Naruto: Shippuden, he's actually grown pretty significantly in TDW's canon to where he's a pretty good fighter and shows he can be one heck of a leader if he's made it to being a Chunin. He also is motivated to become Hokage for the purpose of protecting what's precious to him, having also had to do some of his own hard work in addition to asking for some help from others like Iruka and Guy. He'd also have a different English voice in my head, as if to show how he differs from canon.

 

With Sasuke, initially, he's in a much darker place when the story begins, due to how his anger, hatred, and jealousy over the three years from the prologue and the first few chapters to where the actual story takes place, thanks also to the things he's done in the Foundation and Danzo making him more vicious that he isn't about killing anyone for his job or those who stand in his way for that matter. He also is motivated most of all initially to kill Naruto as payback for what he did, and due to his jealousy at Naruto's growth three years ago, though his ego makes him assume he's still the stronger.

 

And with Sakura, while she has grown a lot too, what her biggest changes are is that after Sasuke tried to kill her in the prologue, she actually is shaken around him in the first few chapters until she lets out her annoyance at him, but Naruto helps her feel more at ease with that, and that her feelings now are way different than the supposed love she had for him beforehand, and that she continues to work hard with Tsunade so that she can be able to help Naruto avoid nearly dying, and to also stand up to Sasuke and help him as a friend.

 

And for something fun to close off the start of this topic, I present some art someone did of my redesign of Naruto on Tumblr a while back. I gotta say, this captures what I was shooting for! 

 

j9EjgO3.jpg



#2 Illnevergiveup3

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Posted 27 October 2020 - 11:46 PM

where can I read it?


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#3 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 28 October 2020 - 01:42 AM

where can I read it?

 

https://www.devianta...ologue-86335210

 

Here! I'm planning to put it on Fanfiction.net soon too, but I've only done a little of it  Just the prologue as I work at a snail's pace on the rest of it.



#4 Chatte

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Posted 28 October 2020 - 10:46 AM

Omg Bryon, I'm sorry, I haven't had the time to read the prologue, but from what I read here in the introductory phase, I have to say, WOW! Amazing take.

 

This added with that we discussed in Derock's thread really makes me want to see where you are going to be taking this since we have some elements in common, but at the same time so different.


Edited by Chatte, 28 October 2020 - 10:46 AM.

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#5 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 28 October 2020 - 08:25 PM

Omg Bryon, I'm sorry, I haven't had the time to read the prologue, but from what I read here in the introductory phase, I have to say, WOW! Amazing take.

 

This added with that we discussed in Derock's thread really makes me want to see where you are going to be taking this since we have some elements in common, but at the same time so different.

 

Thanks, Chatte ^_^ I've been trying all I can, even if I've been working at a snail's pace for this. Though I know that I got some cool ideas of what I wanna do that me and Kurt have talked about too, and that it's gonna be all about execution for it.

 

I had been thinking too of some interesting original Jutsu ideas we had as well as ways the Super Rookies would expand on their fighting styles from the end of the beginning of the story, to where the main story kicks off.

 

A good example is that for Sasuke, he'd actually learned to control his Curse Mark more impressively, like he did with Orochimaru, as well as learning Kenjutsu and assassination arts from the Foundation, especially Danzo, even managing to copy some Jutsu from their agents with his Sharingan, as well as improving his power and speed.

 

With Naruto, I wanted to do some basic stuff, taking a nod from Goku in the latter end of Dragon Ball as well as through Dragon Ball Z and Dragon Ball Super as well as Lee and Guy (thanks to the idea I had of him talking to Guy about some ways to help him in his training with weights on, but not just on the level of Lee and Guy immediately, since he wouldn't have done it as long, and even talking to Iruka about better concentration methods. The idea is the prologue inspires Naruto to want to become even stronger, and that's also my way of showing he isn't just gonna be pumped full of power without really much else in growth going for him.

 

In the case of Sakura, besides her chakra manipulation for her enhanced strength and her amazing skills in medical Ninjutsu and learning the Summoning Jutsu as well as Tsunade's Reverse Yin Seal but not deploying it until much later on, I'd want her to pick up Jutsu due to her nature affinities, in addition to improving her Taijutsu so she would be able to fight if necessary. I imagined it being like seeing Tifa from Final Fantasy VII in action when she does so.

 

I wanna figure out the best way to word it for the members of Teams Asuma, Kurenai, and Guy, but I know I got some ideas of how I want to handle their character development, their growth in combat, and much more as things go.



#6 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 30 October 2020 - 06:20 PM

So after a few days, and waiting on some replies to be polite, I did actually get some ideas regarding ways I'd want to develop some of the other characters in the Super Rookies or Dirty Dozen (formerly the Leaf Nine and Team Guy) in TDW. I do remember some ideas I really had, but also some new stuff to come to mind.

 

INO

 

First up we got Ino. With her, I want to take some of what she showed to do in Shippuden, such as learning medical Ninjutsu by asking Tsunade for that, though Shizune would have worked more closely with Ino, and expanding on the Yamanaka Clan's Mind Transfer and Mind Possession Jutsu as well as gaining things like their telepathy. But I also had thought of her becoming pretty good at some other Ninjutsu, making use of her hair in battle similar to what she did against Sakura in the Chunin Exams, or like Millia Rage from Guilty Gear for those of you familiar with it. In terms of her personality, she still has a lot of her same personality, but her biggest development is learning the valuable lesson, "Don't judge a book by its cover", which plays into my wanting to have her and Choji becoming a couple in the story.

 

SHIKAMARU

 

Lemme tell you, with Shikamaru's combat abilities expanding, Kurt and I had some wild ideas in the day of stuff he could do, like sinking into a shadow and using it to move around, or making a move like Shadow Ball from Pokémon. I know like many characters in this series, some video game original Jutsu for Shikamaru came to mind for him, as well as stuff he can use to help create shadows or expand them. But the biggest stuff I am doing for his character is developing him as a person.

 

Often in canon, I had felt Shikamaru relied too much on his brains and not trusting his gut instincts enough, which I felt was especially shown in the Hidan and Kakuzu stuff when he had basically felt he had to "replace" Asuma after his so-called "mistakes" leading to his death, so in TDW, I wanted him to realize while it's OK for him to be the smartest guy in the room usually, being a good ninja doesn't mean you shouldn't also trust your gut and heart when making decisions, especially if someone you fight could be able to outpace even your own intelligence.

 

Besides my own feelings on that, I also thought of Thomas/Thoma from Digimon Data Squad, and how he had a similar hard time near the end of the series against Nanami, who was just as much of a genius as he is, and to beat her, he had to stop using his brain and think outside of the box, and be reckless like Marcus/Masaru could be. I like to think in that same vein that perhaps Naruto helps Shikamaru think that way a little more than just to rely on his brains alone.

 

CHOJI

 

Choji is someone that has been fun to think on. Besides his being able to enter his Butterfly Mode without putting himself at risk, and improving his Expansion Jutsu in all its forms, as well as his Taijutsu. I had imagined Choji picking up some techniques like Sumo to make use of his size, as well as ways to use his chakra to make powerful bursts in the ground and across it for long range attacks. he also gains a good bit of confidence story-wise when he ends up spilling the beans in the heat of battle about how he feels for Ino, and that he grows more as he forms a relationship with her for that matter too.

 

Choji still would get upset if someone calls him "fat" but he also would have gotten more focused so he can turn that anger and annoyance at it into focus in battle.



#7 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 01 November 2020 - 08:39 PM

Now this next bit, I'm thinking is the most significant considering it involves Team Kurenai, and I know Hinata is one of those hot topics of how her basically doing NOTHING made her so popular and such. And it's tough for me, since I do like the potential Hinata had before the series ruined her just to please the loud minority of fans out there.

 

KIBA

 

With Kiba, I have kept a lot of the same things he shows in his brief appearances in Naruto: Shippuden, such as his better sync and teamwork with Akamaru as well as his scent of smell being improved to help with tracking. In terms of other ways I had worked on him is he grows to tap more to his family's wild side, due to Kurt and I thinking from stuff like the Doubled-Headed Wolf Jutsu around the time of the Sasuke Retrieval Mission arc that the Inuzuka clan could do some other cool stuff, like using special food pills to make themselves like werewolves.

 

That also means he'd have some methods of fighting making use of teeth and his fingernails like claws. I also imagined Kiba with a style of Taijutsu similar to Yamcha's Wolf Fang Fist in Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, to fit with the Inuzuka clan's connections with dogs and wolves further. I figure he may know some other Jutsu here and there, but tends to rely on his family's Hiden Jutsu due to their nature and how they work with him and Akamaru the best. The help he'd acquire from this comes from an original character in the story, Kiba's uncle Ken Inuzuka and his dog partner Kiba (yes, Kiba is named after the dog. XD Cue Indiana Jones jokes!)

 

SHINO

 

For Shino, he does keep a lot of that mysterious air, but I don't plan to push him to the background. One aspect I wanted to show is how he feels like an outsider sometimes given the nature of the Aburame clan and their Parasitic Insects, and how sometimes he wouldn't feel very human compared to the others of the Super Rookies. He also works on his aloof attitude slightly, and opening up to the others.

 

What I also work on with him to an extent character-wise is his not very often seen ego. He may not underestimate his opponents, but you see in the Chunin Exams and his fight with Kankuro that Shino has a bit of an ego to him, or his being upset that he was away when the Sasuke Retrieval Team was formed and wasn't able to come along, plus that it also shows in Shippuden when he feels personally insulted Naruto didn't recognize him due to how he looks. So what I aim for is for him to NOT think about only things he would want to do 

 

Plus the other aspect for him is to focus on other things he can do besides overreliance on his Parasitic Insects, like maybe using some style of the Summoning Jutsu for him, and other ways than offensive and defensive methods for the Parasitic Insects, like to heal people in some ways when Sakura and Ino can't use their medical Ninjutsu, even if he can't do as full of a restoration. He also would become better skilled with Taijutsu just in case he couldn't rely on his Parasitic Insects only.

 

HINATA

 

HOO BOY...  :ermm: This is the one that I feel needs the most attention considering how many say Hinata and her obsessive fans ruined EVERYTHING when the ending for the series came out and she and Naruto ended up together, even if there was no rhyme or reason, even no logic to it all! But it's not that I hate Hinata. I like her, don't get me wrong, but I feel her obsession with Naruto (and yes, it's obsession, not love) hinders her a lot.

 

The biggest thing I thought of for TDW with Hinata is gonna be something that "Show, don't tell" even if I may tell a bit about it is her being rejected by Naruto, and how even if it hurts for a while, she ends up getting to know the real Naruto, since let's face it, in canon, she knows NOTHING about the real Naruto, and that she wants to become stronger too. That something isn't just heartbreak, it's about motivation to really be like Naruto, so she doesn't hold anyone back.

 

That help comes from her aunt, another OC, Sango Hyuga, and Hinata in turn grows a lot as a ninja and a person. She still can be quite shy, but she actually can hold an ACTUAL conversation with Naruto without passing out for one thing, as well as being more confident and vocal. Her Gentle Fist approves a great deal, and she can also do the 8 Trigrams 64 Palms without needing an extra push, as well as her having developed the Protective 8 Trigrams 64 Palms as her own way to grow as someone who is part of the head branch of the Hyuga clan.

 

I also would see her using some principles of the Protective 8 Trigrams 64 Palms in some of her Gentle Fist strikes for some added ranged Jutsu besides the 8 Trigrams Air Palm for one thing too as well as what she can do with her Byakugan, even if she still wouldn't be there with what Neji could do.



#8 Chatte

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Posted 05 November 2020 - 12:39 AM

Oooh I like that part of Hinata and the aunt aspect!

 

Is she gonna be like... Neji's mom or? Aunt on whose side? :D


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#9 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 05 November 2020 - 06:41 PM

Oooh I like that part of Hinata and the aunt aspect!

 

Is she gonna be like... Neji's mom or? Aunt on whose side? :D

 

The idea I had for Sango is she's a third sibling for Hiashi and Hizashi. She is tied to the brothers as the younger sister, who had the "fortune: to also be in the Main House, though she had hated how their father, the former head of the Hyuga clan, then Hiashi, treated Hizashi, even if she didn't always show it. She herself is partnered with the aforementioned uncle for Kiba, Ken Inuzuka, as well as Sukai Hatake, Kakashi's cousin from his dad's side of the family, the son of Sakumo's younger brother Taiyou and his wife Sweet (And yes, it is her name ^_^), who had been a team for a long time years ago, around the time of the 3rd Great Shinobi War.

 

In fact, I was gonna do stuff for Team Guy, but I plan to do something with this team, known as Team Yamcha.

 

SUKAI HATAKE

 

The idea Kurt and I had with Sukai is he had known Minato (back when we called him Kanoi before we learned his history) in the war, with the two becoming friends and Minato even asking Sukai to be one of Naruto's godparents. In Sukai's backstory, compared to Kakashi and how his father Taiyou was, they both are "geniuses of hard work" who didn't have Sakumo and Kakashi's natural talent, though Sukai took a while more to bloom, especially when his dad died in the war and his mom died eventually after, leading him to be taken in by Sakumo.

 

Hiruzen saw Sukai had a lot of talent and didn't want him to waste all that talent, which led him to take Sukai under his wing and teach him some things, which led Sukai to be very motivated and becoming strong. However, the day he became a Chunin was the day Sakumo had killed himself. Angered at his uncle's "teammates", Sukai actually had hit one of them, and he became a bit more reckless, but not becoming like Kakashi was in trying to prove himself by being a stickler to the rules. Sukai was more about reckless abandon a lot of times, since he had felt so alone, even as he had to look out for Kakashi here and there.

 

But meeting Minato helped Sukai start to feel better, and he became more jovial and playful in comparison. He also was someone who believed even a genius could be beaten by a nobody if that nobody worked hard enough, making many allies outside of his teammates, and even finding love with his wife Yuri, as well as joining the ANBU to become a Captain.

 

The night of Naruto's birth, Sukai was among the ANBU stationed where Kushina was giving birth, acting as bodyguards for her and Biwako. However, when Madara Uchiha, weakened as he was in his new body, had arrived, they stood no chance, which would lead Minato to step in, as well as Madara eventually extracting Kurama from Kushina's body, and controlling him to try to destroy the Leaf Village as part of his revenge against it as a whole. In the midst of that, Sukai jumped back into action, but when fighting the mind-controlled Kurama, Sukai was hurt horribly, even losing his right leg from the knee down and having to be in IC even after Minato and Kushina sacrificed themselves to seal Kurama into their son.

 

After a few weeks, Sukai woke up, but was in severe pain, also having learned that his wife and their unborn child had died in Kurama's rampage in addition to Minato and Kushina's demise. Frustrated at himself for failing the village, his friends, his family, and the man who believed in him, Sukai would leave the Hidden Leaf Village after gaining a unique prosthetic leg in place of his lost leg, trying to find himself. It took him 16 years, and training as a cat Sage with the Cats of the Hakurei Fields, but he had managed to find inner peace, before he would return home.

 

In battle, Sukai is unpredictable, and like Naruto, was often a prankster, but that attitude allowed him to make all kinds of interesting variants of Jutsu, such as a Shadow Clone using mini-paper bombs as confetti, or glue to trap his opponents. He also would fight side by side with his ninja cat partner, Buyo, being able to keep opponents off guard due to Buyo's deceptive speed for his size, as well as Sukai's own talents. Due to his friendship with Minato, Sukai had learned the Rasengan as one of his Jutsu, and he also can use the Summoning Jutsu from training under Hiruzen aka the Third Hokage to summon cats. His affinity with cats is even shown in that he had a cat mask when he was with the ANBU. Due to his ANBU training, he's quite skilled at stealth and assassination if need be, plus he also can fight well with a sword.

 

SANGO HYUGA

 

The third child of the previous head of the Hyuga Clan, Sango often was seen as a princess in the clan, though she had as intense of training as her older brothers Hiashi and Hizashi, though she could tell that Hizashi was slightly stronger, even if he had been placed in the Branch House. But even as it was, Sango loved both of her brothers. She would eventually join the Leaf Academy, and would be assigned to a team under Yamcha Kaburagi, meeting her teammates Ken Inuzuka and Sukai Hatake this way. However, Sango initially didn't think much of them, finding them to be boneheads and not as talented as she was. When a mission would happen where Sukai saved her though, as well as seeing his attitude towards her father and Hiashi, as well as the way the Hyuga clan's caste system was barbaric, it led Sango to be drawn to Sukai, even falling in love with him.

 

As she grew, Sango became more independent, more open to other aspects as well as learning of her own unique talents as a Sensor-Type ninja, made more effective thanks to her skills with the Byakugan. She would also help Sukai meet Yuri, his future wife, because all she wanted was Sukai's happiness, even if it wasn't with her, and feeling perhaps she couldn't bring herself to tell him how she felt fo rhim due to that. After the attack of Kurama when Naruto was born, Sango was hurt because she couldn't help Sukai or Yuri, and was bothered more when he had left the village. 

 

In the next 16 years, Sango would end up joining the ANBU to honor Sukai, as well as having a final falling out with her father and brother when she had left the Hyuga estate following Hizashi's death, because even if she had felt he chose to do what he did to save Hiashi, she felt that Hiashi would NEVER change the Hyuga Clan, and that to her, the way he was with Hinata as well as Hanabi after his wife had passed, she knew she didn't wish to be around him, but she has been able to talk with Hinata well, acting as a good voice for her, and helping her become stronger in her own way.

 

In battle, Sango fights in typical Hyuga fashion with a mix of Gentle Fist and the Byakugan, but she has expanded her repertoire beyond just that with other Jutsu, as well as her being unique in that she is a Sensor-Type ninja of the Hyuga clan. Her grace in battle allows Sango to be able to hold her own against tough opponents, as well as her picking up a sense of unpredictability because of Sukai.

 

KEN INUZUKA

 

The younger brother of Tsume Inuzuka (Kiba's mom), Ken is just like his nephew Kiba in his attitude and being in touch with his wild side, working with his partner, Kiba, to handle any situation. As a kid, his attitude and nature made him very hard to get along with, but his friendship with Sukai, even with their differences, made him happy, and feel like he belonged somewhere.

 

As he grew older, Ken became more wise and mellow, but could become feral in an instant in battle, especially when it came to protecting the people important to him, like his unrequited crush, Yoshi Inoue (whom Sukai joked Ken tended to "stalk" due to his desire to get her to acknowledge him), and he became a skilled master in techniques of the Inuzuka clan, using those to help in the incident with Kurama after Madara had unsealed him from Kushina's body. Though he couldn't do much damage, Ken kept fighting as hard as he could.

 

In the time when Sukai left the Leaf, Ken continued his work as a Jonin, and eventually, he was able to get Yoshi to see how much he felt for her, with the two marrying and having twins, Kotaro and Yoko. Ken also would be teaching his nephew Kiba and his partner Akamaru a few techniques he knew as well as training his and Yoshi's children in the ways of the Inuzuka Clan's techniques.

 

Like Kiba, but more refined and also simultaneously more feral, Ken fights side by side with his buddy Kiba the dog, as well as using claws and his teeth, along with some other Jutsu, such as the Summoning Jutsu and Reverse Summoning Jutsu to help him. He also is able to use special Inuzuka Clan food pills that allow him to take on a werewolf-like state, allowing him to enhance his strength, speed, and senses dramatically. His olefactory senses are very impressive, on par with the ninja dog partners of the Inuzuka Clan as well as his having great hearing too.



#10 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 11 November 2020 - 06:26 PM

Since I went into doing some OC's after discussing Team Kurenai's members of the Super Rookies/Dirty Dozen, now I'm gonna get back on track so to speak with my discussions on them, going into Team Guy now.

 

NEJI

 

Neji is someone who is fun to work with, since while he can still be very serious, Kurt and I have been working with the ideas of him discovering some romance with Tenten, and I also imagined having him with something of a protective streak to Hinata, to make up for his mistakes of how he handled things with the mistreatment he and his father endured under his uncle and the rest of the Main House of the Hyuga Clan, but not on the comedic levels that Naruto SD: Rock Lee and his Ninja Pals did with that, that's for sure. In terms of story, when it comes to finding out Naruto is a Jinchuriki, Neji isn't upset from when they battled in the Chunin Exams, but he wants to face Naruto again, given he believes the most in Naruto out of many of the Super Rookies, along with Sakura and Lee after seeing what he can do, and what Naruto is capable of doing, like when he said that Naruto's eyes sometimes are better than his own.

 

Like Hinata, Neji improves on his Gentle Fist skills as well as his skills and honing what he can do with the Byakugan, as well as going out of his way to make new techniques to help him in action, using some techniques from some Naruto fighting games that help, like Last Resort: Eight Gates Assault to aim at the Eight Gates, even if that was harder for him to get, as well as his going to 8 Trigrams 361 Palms, showing his natural skills and hard work to be able to learn techniques of the Main House a well as to prepare himself for new challenges in the future.

 

LEE

 

For Lee, he works even harder to better strengthen himself to better handle the rigors of the Eight Inner Gates, even going further in how many he can use, even if he isn't able to reach the last two yet, as well as improving his speed and strength, increasing how much weight he has carrying on him, as well as having helped Naruto along with Guy to improve his own Taijutsu abilities, with the two forming a heck of a friendly rivalry as a parallel to how violent initially Naruto and Sasuke's rivalry is, especially in Sasuke's case.

 

Lee also does tend to have some good comedic moments in the story, with his having some interesting experiences going on in the series, especially in an arc Kurt and I are working on for as something of a nod to the Chunin Exams, but something totally different called the Kage Grand Prix, which involves all the other villages, both of the Great Five and the smaller ones, competing together. But I do show Lee's heroism as well as his altruistic attitude, and how he follows his own guidelines to become a stronger ninja, and that he hopes he can be able to become as good as Guy is.

 

TENTEN

 

For Tenten, besides her better control of her weapon skills, Tenten also improves her skills in close quarters combat with her weapons, in addition to having learned a few other Jutsu that can work in conjunction with her weapons skills, allowing Tenten to be able to shine very well. The most of her development is her improving her eyesight as well as her coordination involving her hands and her feet, so she doesn't end up in a rough spot as she did when fighting Temari or anyone else who can easily counterattack her weapons from a range.

 

She also does show some great moments where she will show herself as a leader, even if she's more of the voice of reason when it comes to some of the shenanigans and seriousness of her friends and teammates, so that she can keep them in check and be able to help Neji get relaxed, even if he is oblivious to how Tenten admires him and wants more from their connectgion.



#11 Chatte

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Posted 17 November 2020 - 12:41 AM

So when do you think you'll start with the actual writing? :D


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#12 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 17 November 2020 - 10:58 PM

So when do you think you'll start with the actual writing? :D


Im working on it, just wrapped up the third chapter and now onto #4

#13 Chatte

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Posted 20 November 2020 - 12:48 PM

Im working on it, just wrapped up the third chapter and now onto #4

Ooh so you mean you already wrote the first three chapters? Or just the general outline?

 

I also have the first 7 chapters quite clear in my mind, and the general outline for the first three.


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#14 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 20 November 2020 - 04:55 PM

Ooh so you mean you already wrote the first three chapters? Or just the general outline?

 

I also have the first 7 chapters quite clear in my mind, and the general outline for the first three.

 

I've written the prologue and the first three chapters so far, making a total of four. I just need to put up the other chapters.



#15 Chatte

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Posted 21 November 2020 - 07:34 AM

 

I've written the prologue and the first three chapters so far, making a total of four. I just need to put up the other chapters.

Ooh, I see, nice! Where are you going to be posting them?


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#16 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 22 November 2020 - 07:08 PM

Ooh, I see, nice! Where are you going to be posting them?

 

I'm thinking about putting it on Deviant Art like I did with the prologue.







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