20 replies to this topic

[xxRomanceGirlxx]

Basically in the name. There's always a heap of arguments on which type couples work better together or "attract"  better in real life or fiction so I figured we use this type of debate for the big 3. Are they an example of an "opposites attract" couple, "similar attract", or maybe even a little bit of both? But mainly what do you think is the type NS falls under?

 

I was talking to my psychology teacher about this subject the other day on which worked better for relationships. He told me there's not a true answer because it really just depends on the type of person. Some people work better with people like them, some work better with people that are different.

 

Eventually that made me think back on how NH/SS fans always argue "opposites attract" work better because their pairings are obviously that type of theme. So I guess with them being opposites attract and it's success depends on the people, what makes you think that in these cases opposites attract will not work for NaruHina and SasuSaku? What makes NS, no matter what category they fall under, work better?

 

As for myself the answer was always obvious---NaruSaku clearly seem like a similars attract couple--- but after some thinking, I realized there's also some differences between them. Sakura's more realistic, Naruto's not. Sakura's smarter. Sakura worries more, Naruto's optimistic. Naruto's more playful, Sakura's a little more serious. So I guess it's also possible it could be both.

Edited by xxRomanceGirlxx, 25 August 2014 - 12:27 AM.

[KnS]

Interesting topic, RomanceGirl.

 

In my opinion, the most important component of any relationship (romantic, friendship, family) is common values.  If two people hold the same values -- honesty, willingness to be selfless, respect, open-mindedness, faith, compassion, etc. -- then it matters less if they are similars or opposites in terms of their idiosyncratic differences.

 

This is where SS is a complete failure.  Sasuke displays little evidence of having any core values in common with Sakura -- or anyone else, for that matter.  The things that matter most in life to Sakura are not on Sasuke's radar.

 

At least with NH we know that, while Hinata is not a well-developed character with an expansive display of personal values (other than her obsessive worship of Naruto-kun), we do know that she is a nice person.  We know she is docile and submissive, and would likely be willing and able to submerge whatever identity she has in order to be overshadowed by a partner with a stronger personality.

 

While NH might technically work in the values sense, it's difficult to imagine Naruto not being bored out of his skull with a girl who is neither capable nor really willing to challenge and correct him in the ways he requires.

 

NS has neither of these issues.  Naruto and Sakura appear to share all the values that matter most to both of them, and yet they are strong enough within themselves to expect and bring out the best in each other.  Life for them would not be dull or unhappy.

 

NH is less hopeless than SS, but in my opinion neither pairing would ever have what it takes to live a long, harmonious life together.  But NS does.  

[questdrivencollie]

I agree, both. I've never thought either "opposites attract" or "similars attract" was meant to be a cookie cutter guide to realistic relationships. 

[Khaleesi]

Both can work, but both can fail too. It really doesn't matter if they are similars or opposites. What matter is if they have the same certainly things in commun. Such as goals, dreams, ethics, etc. and that they don't have break deals. Imagine someone that is similar to you in a lot of things, past, interests, hobbys, taste, but...it's part of MRA's? Or imagine someone that you think completes you, that haves all the skills that  you don't have and is impresive, but... thinks if a father and his daughter love each other can be couple, and thinks that is open-mindness?

[BlazingDynamo]

This topic is really confusing?

[xxRomanceGirlxx]

Just to let you guys know, this thread isn't about which "type" works better completely. It's also about which kind NaruSaku falls under and how it reflects on SS/NH---an "opposites attract"couple---and their respective differences.

Edited by xxRomanceGirlxx, 25 August 2014 - 01:12 AM.

[Khaleesi]

NaruSaku is kind of opposites, actually. But they are similar on the right things. How we all said, we didn't answer specifically, but we did answer what you wanted. As of we said you can tell what applies to SS or NH or NS. 

[questdrivencollie]

In regards to that, I'd agree with what you've written. They do seem to be a mix. Though I hadn't thought about it before and assumed they were entirely "similar".

 

Would add that some of the differences you specified add more to the theory of Sakura being like Kushina.

Examples: Minato was more optimistic, while Kushina tended to worry (from what we have been shown). From what we have been shown, Minato was more playful, while Kushina appeared to be more serious/grounded.

Edited by questdrivencollie, 25 August 2014 - 01:35 AM.

[Win-chan]

Well, I think that it's a mixture of both, for sure. I think that as far as personality goes, opposites often can go well together, and similar personalities can have a hard time working together, especially if the two people in question have very dominating personalities. For example, if two people are extremely competitive, stubborn, opinionated, and confrontational, it would be hard to make a relationship work. They'd constantly be competing with one another, stubbornly refusing to compromise when there's a disagreement, and if they're both confrontational, even if they agree on a lot, there will always be things they disagree on and that will only add tension to their relationship. However, put them together with an easygoing, open-minded, peaceful individual, and they're going to be more able to mesh. The easygoing personality won't feel threatened by the other's competitiveness, their peacefulness won't add fire to confrontation, etc. It will be like putting two puzzle pieces together. Now that being said, I think that any two personalities can go together and work if the two people involved really love each other and REALLY work at it, but I can see opposites attracting, depending on the personality type. 

 

However, I think it's a little of both. Where similarities come in, I think it's extremely important for two people in a relationship to have similar beliefs, morals, hobbies, and even passions. The happiest couples I know are the ones that are best friends, and friendships are usually formed because of similar interests. I myself would like a man who holds my same values, appreciates music, and enjoys stories (whether book, movie, TV show) because those are things that are very important to me.

 

As for Naruto and Sakura... I'd say they are both aggressive types, but in different ways. Naruto's excitable and enthusiastic, whereas Sakura's more realistic and disciplined (sometimes). Naruto's more willing to let small things slide and to not get worked up all the time, whereas Sakura's going to have a temper outburst. I don't necessarily see them as opposite or the same... they have some similar traits and some different traits. Definitely not night and day difference, but not the exact same either. It seems, though, the Kishimoto has tried to draw differences between them as they're heaven and earth. Sakura's supposed to be more intelligent and book smart, where Naruto's very physical and hands-on. You can see their differences as Naruto's always learning new powerful jutsu while Sakura learns chakra control and medical ninjutsu. So, I'd say they're just a mixture :)

Edited by Win-chan, 25 August 2014 - 01:43 AM.

[xxRomanceGirlxx]

@theunburnt:

 

Well, actually, the SS/NH/NS comparison is optional. We've written our opinions on them a thousand times, but I thought it might be a little fun to spin it with the "opposite attract" or "similars attract" argument with a NS comparison instead of just complete opinions and how much we dislike it. I don't think we've often done that before. My psychology teacher inspired me to make a thread like this after a "opposites attract/similars attract" discussion in class and I thought this might be interesting.

 

Not that any of you have to. I'll write further input about this topic and the comparison of the ships, but I'd like to see if there'd be more people to add to discussion first before I put in mine. If not, then I'll type it soon.

Edited by xxRomanceGirlxx, 25 August 2014 - 02:11 AM.

[talkNOjutsu]

I think the similarities in people are what attracts the most.

[questdrivencollie]

@theunburnt:
 
Well, actually, the SS/NH/NS comparison is optional. We've written our opinions on them a thousand times, but I thought it might be a little fun to spin it with the "opposite attract" or "similars attract" argument with a NS comparison instead of just complete opinions and how much we dislike it. I don't think we've often done that before. My psychology teacher inspired me to make a thread like this after a "opposites attract/similars attract" discussion in class and I thought this might be interesting.
 
Not that any of you have to. I'll write further input about this topic and the comparison of the ships, but I'd like to see if there'd be more people to add to discussion first before I put in mine. If not, then I'll type it soon.

I'm interested, but that doesn't mean I'll have anything of value to add to the discussion.

[ns.Believe.It]

Opposites do not attract. This only applies in science and not for humans. Most of the times if there are cases of opposites attracting, it'll be for shallow reasons and this attraction won't be strong. All relationships are based off in a somewhat similar way. When humans look for friends they tend to go for ones that are similar to them in personality and life-style. We never form strong bonds of friendship with people who are vastly different from us. Yes, we might find them intriguing and even admire the better qualities they have over us but that would be about it.The differences will over-shadow this and the friendship would be forced. 

 

The same applies to love. One can be initially attracted by some of the qualities the other possesses and fall in love because of those qualities but will that be enough? Over time we tend to change. The qualities which seemed attractive to us when we are 15 may not have the same effect on us when we are 25. We start to get bored and lose interest. What's worse is that we may find certain tastes to be conflicting. This could very well lead to disagreements and disruption in our lives.

Say for example a strict vegetarian falls in love with a non-vegetarian. Initially the quality that made them fall for each other seems very strong and they decide the difference in food-habit is minor and they can make it work. But later on in their lives, they may not feel the same and thus problems arise.

 

But one thing that never changes is our personality and way of life. People remain rooted in the same personality for their entire life. Sharing lives with people who are similar to us is easier and more enjoyable. So, love based upon similarities tend to be stronger, more stable and lasts for a long time. Only when people can be themselves, 100%,  will they truly be happy. And this is possible only with someone who is similar and not opposite to us.

Edited by ns.Believe.It, 25 August 2014 - 06:32 AM.

[Broken Figurine]

Similar is not "exactly the same" so the people in question will have points where they disagree, but overall they tend to be similar. That's the successful relationship. We tend to seek out people who are like us, and bond with people who share our opinions or at least are in agreement on some things we deem important. Think about it--do you 'like' comments that go against what you feel? 

 

Naruto and Sakura are similar in attitude, and they have some shared goals. They're also opposite in others, where she's more book smarts while he's more think on the fly. She's developed herself to becoming an exceptional medic while he's working to become hokage. However, they're both very proud and supportive of each other which I think is important. Also, what can happen in successful relationships is you begin to internalize your partner's goals, dreams and achievements as your own too. That sounds familiar to me. So on the points they're not similar, it's not causing as many conflicts. 

 

NaruHina and SasuSaku... I dunno. They're opposite in attitude, though I guess Hinata is trying with some success to adopt Naruto's ninja way, but they don't have any shared goals or interests that I can think of? Sasuke and Sakura were exceptionally good students but those are in their academy years, and Sasuke is the opposite of supportive when it comes to Sakura so... 

 

I dunno. I know in other manga sometimes "complete opposites" end up liking each other, such as the shy guy and the tsundere girl or something, but they usually find out that despite that they share a common value point. They're not usually bonding over their differences, but what they found they shared that's valued to them. 

[Kyaerai]

Does it matter, either way they are attracted to eachother ;P cx

[KonaKonaFan]

Alright, gonna bring my acting background into this. When it comes to portraying characters, there are ones that are considered high class, and ones that are considered low class. No, it's not what you think. High class characters are confident, extroverted, high energy, any combination of those, etc. They tend to be force of personalities. There is a wide spectrum of them, think from Naruto to Neji to Ino to Konohamaru. Low class characters are quieter, introverted, and may second guess themselves, or don't usually put themselves in the spotlight. Think Hinata, Gaara, Shikamaru, and Kakashi. Of course, there are people who don't necessarily fit into either, like Lee, but the spectrum is still useful for characterization purposes.

 

Now, in my mind, couples that tend to work out most often are low/low, then high/low (though that has potential for manipulation), then lastly high/high. No doubt, NaruSaku is high/high. Would NaruSaku work out irl? Honestly? I really don't know. The whole "he gets on my nerves and I love him" thing isn't necessarily as long lasting or harmonious irl as it's portrayed in fiction. Once again, it's the high/high thing. They usually have their own way of thinking and doing things, and will argue about it until they get their way. In that way, I believe NaruSaku is "similars attract". That's just my view of it, of course.

 

/ramble

[mangafan]

Its a bit of both. But what's most important is compatibility and chemistry. This is where NH and SS fail embarrassingly 

[Nostradamus]

In my country there's an old saying. It goes like this "Cei ce se aseamana se aduna." the rough translation would be "Those who are alike gather." basically it means those who are alike find other people like them and spend time with them.

It's true take a look at your friends. Even if they are not 100% like you (technically not even possible) they are like you. You and our friends have one or more things in common. Otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them.

It's a natural thing for people to spend time with other people that share same opinions, tastes, views, values, etc. as them.

Edited by Nostradamus, 28 August 2014 - 11:35 PM.

[Iwantbuns]

I can't believe I missed this topic. It's really interesting.

 

I'll be honest, I like the idea of "Opposites Attract". But that only works when there are similarities as well.

 

Personally, I don't like people that have my qualities (I don't know why). But I don't mesh well with people that are so different than me, that I can't even keep up with them, and feel the way they do. There has to be a sort of balance. Usually, when people are socializing, they don't spend too much time thinking about how they work - they just have to naturally work.

 

That's what NaruSaku has. Naruto and Sakura are very similar to each other - but they don't realize it. And they don't realize that the good qualities that they share, are one of the main reasons they admire each other. And then when they're interacting, you can see the differences. How Sakura is more mature than Naruto in certain aspects, and how Naruto is dense but more mature than Sakura in other aspects. But even when they're different, they sort of work together, and and help each other out, because they know each other that well. 

 

That's something NaruHina and SasuSaku don't have. They might be opposites, but there is no real attraction. It's never been shown in the series, for either of the pairs to actually work together well. For NaruHina, one side of the pairing, is oblivious to the other side. And then for SasuSaku, one side of the pairing doesn't give the other side, the time of day. 

 

Naruto and Sakura definitely don't look like they're opposites, but there are obvious differences. But another thing that's really special about NaruSaku is that they work together - but they don't even realize it themselves. I'd put NaruSaku in the similar's attract section. The reason I say this is because any pairing at all needs to have that, in order for it to work. It's the one thing that gets people to like each other or admire each other. The whole "being attracted to your opposite" is more like the cherry on top. Like "Even though the guy's different, I'm attracted to him". But the reason you're attracted to him is because he has qualities that you like, and it's similar to the way you see things.

 

"Opposites Attract" is just there for show. But a pairing would never work, without having "Similars Attract".

Edited by Iwantbuns, 14 September 2014 - 04:26 PM.

[Syn11]

Opposites do not attract. This only applies in science and not for humans. Most of the times if there are cases of opposites attracting, it'll be for shallow reasons and this attraction won't be strong. All relationships are based off in a somewhat similar way. When humans look for friends they tend to go for ones that are similar to them in personality and life-style. We never form strong bonds of friendship with people who are vastly different from us. Yes, we might find them intriguing and even admire the better qualities they have over us but that would be about it.The differences will over-shadow this and the friendship would be forced. 

 

The same applies to love. One can be initially attracted by some of the qualities the other possesses and fall in love because of those qualities but will that be enough? Over time we tend to change. The qualities which seemed attractive to us when we are 15 may not have the same effect on us when we are 25. We start to get bored and lose interest. What's worse is that we may find certain tastes to be conflicting. This could very well lead to disagreements and disruption in our lives.

Say for example a strict vegetarian falls in love with a non-vegetarian. Initially the quality that made them fall for each other seems very strong and they decide the difference in food-habit is minor and they can make it work. But later on in their lives, they may not feel the same and thus problems arise.

 

But one thing that never changes is our personality and way of life. People remain rooted in the same personality for their entire life. Sharing lives with people who are similar to us is easier and more enjoyable. So, love based upon similarities tend to be stronger, more stable and lasts for a long time. Only when people can be themselves, 100%,  will they truly be happy. And this is possible only with someone who is similar and not opposite to us.

 

That's the gist of any close relationship (be it frienship or any kind of romance). Even some researches show that people tend to choose those whose DNA is more similar to their own. Something about the biological purpose of preserving one's traits (speaking about life partners here). When antiNS guys tell us that Sakura and Naruto can be seen as siblings, they actually provide another heavy evidence  pro NS in nature.

 

Opposites do attract (sometimes) but they rarely form stable connections.

 

In fact, there should be similarities and differences between partners. And similarities > differences. The first thing brings mostly balance while the second is responsible for variety and dynamics (which helps keeping balance too). NS has it. Hurray!

Edited by Syn11, 16 September 2014 - 11:49 PM.