12 replies to this topic

[krisk]

Hello gorgeous.

Yes you, and only you. You're one of a kind you know? So voluptuous and keen, so shiny and desirable.

How are you doing on this fine evening? I'm assuming awesome because that's all you can be. Yeah I call 'em how I see 'em, and you my friend are one fine muggloving son of a gun. Yes, you are one DAMN FINE specimen. You were put on this earth to make us all jelly. So incredibly jelly.

And it's because of you and your gaming fetish that I am here. You are one of fine taste and should be given only the best.

That's where I come in with a solution that will definitely excite you beyond your wildest dreams.

I am here, offering a fantastic game. A game unlike any other. Check this ♥♥♥♥ out yo.

First off, let's look at the title.


Look at that. That font, that color scheme. So confidant. So bold. Comic Sans? Please, this is furthest from that abomination to fonts all over the world. Also you won't find any cheap, lazy Blue/Orange combination here, my friend. The Orange/Gold/Black is meant only for those who have a fine taste for the finer things in life.

Now let's look at some amazing features of the game.

WHO ARE YOU? --Click here to view--

Are you bored with being that one boring bald marine? Or that annoying HERO who has to do the right thing and nothing but? Or that frustrating Jack of All Trades, Master of None? Well be sad no more, my beloved. Look at what I can make you now.

Do you prefer the silent killer type? Are you one to sneak around, a deadly breath on the gust of life? Are you one to clear a battlefield with only a few flicks of the wrist? Floating assassin by night and day?

Well, I've got the job for you then.

YOU SNEAKY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! HOW'D YOU DO THAT? OH MAN YOU SILENT BASTARD. OH ♥♥♥♥.


WAIT WHO'S THERE?! TOO LATE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! BOOM IN YO FACE, TERRORIST SCUM.


oh you don't prefer to play a sneakster? You prefer to jump off buildings guns blazing? Oh you, such a tiger in the battlefield (amongst other places, dohoho)

LOOK UP, YOU FOOLS! YEAH THAT'S ME, RAINING DOWN HELL ONTO YOUR PARADE.


MEET MY FRIENDS, "SUCK IT" AND "YOU'RE ♥♥♥♥ED!" FUUUU


NOT THERE, DUMBASS.


MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.



oh you're not as crass and ruthless as that? Not a thirst for violence do you? You prefer the intellectual's way of life? Fancy a splash of whiskey, a good book, and a nice expensive cigar to go with your Kung-Fu and gadgets?

I've got the perfect role for you. You prefer the fancy things in life, and for that, you are one classy son of a ♥♥♥♥♥.

WOAH ♥♥♥♥, LOOK AT YOU, YOU BE KUNG-FU STYLAN ON THEM DRUG LORDS.


AFTER YOU'RE DONE WITH THAT, WHAT'S THIS? OH GOTTA HAX DIS COMPUTER RIGHT HURR. NO PROB. HOLD MY STONES.


AFTER THAT YOU GET A WHEELBARROW, GRAB YOUR STONES, PUT ON YOUR SEXY TUX AND ATTEND A DINNER PARTY.
: "U JELLY?"


Speaking of a tux, you're one for style aren't you? Your taste doesn't just extend to your art of war - it also extends to your art of wardrobe.

Look at you, you stylish ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ~


IT'S HARD BEING THIS GOOD LOOKING.

Now you're wondering, but what about my skills? What specifically can I do? What can specialize in? I'm a badass, aren't I?

Well, baby you ain't kidding.

CUSTOMIZATION --Click here to view--

Looking for a hands-on customization of your skills? Look no further.

Your skills get broken down into parts, so you can pick and choose and make yourself be the beast you know you can be. Or the sly smooth mugglelover we all know you are. Or both~

Now that you've got your best gear on, and your form is limber, what of your guns?

Gotta have your guns.

THE GUNS --Click here to view--

Looking for guns? Well you get the best, and the best is full-access to the BLACK MARKET.

Yeah, that market.

Now you're all set, and ready to kick some ass.

Tough life for a warrior, gets quite lonesome even.

JUST KIDDING, YOU GET DAT ASS TOO. I WON'T SHOW YOU THO, IT'S A SURPRISE.

Enjoy this preview, of the badass cast you get to meet (and perhaps hump!) if you do take on my mission.



I know you want to meet them, and I can give you that opportunity.

And that is that, as they say.

I'm offering this amazing game, Alpha Protocol, for something from the Steam Halloween Sale!

Below is a collection of all the games that are on sale in the Halloween Sale:


A list of the games I'm looking for:

OH GOD I MUST HAVE PLS GIB
Bioshock ($4.99 USD)
Bioshock 2 ($4.99 USD)
F.E.A.R Collection ($6.79 USD)

I'M TOO MUCH OF A ♥♥♥♥♥ BUT I STILL WANT
Amnesia: The Dark Descent ($4.00 USD)
Penumbra Collector Pack ($4.99 USD)

KIND OF WANT
Terraria ($4.99 USD)
RE5 ($9.99 USD)
Killing Floor Complete Pack ($10.17 USD)
S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Bundle ($8.74 USD)

WTF IS THIS? MAYBE WANT:
Sherlock Holmes versus Jack the Ripper ($4.99 USD)
Scratches - Directors Cut ($3.40 USD)
Dracula Origin ($4.99 USD)
Painkiller Complete Pack ($4.99 USD)
Dark Fall: Lost Souls ($4.99 USD)

OH GOD I'M SO WEAK
Nancy Drew: Curse of Blackmoon Manor
Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake
LIMBO


post if you're interested and I'll exchange info with you! REMEMBER you need STEAM to do this trade with me! (Oh and monies bahahha)

However you've gotta make your choice soon! The Steam Sale ends on the 31st!

also my thread is like PLEASE KILL ME IT HURTS TO LIVE



TYVM FOR YOUR TIME!

Edited by krisk, 31 October 2011 - 06:35 AM.

[JoHamSandwich]

I can't believe you posted this.

Anyway. Not getting you anything, but you should take out RE5. They have that on PSN + all the other RE games.

[peanutbutter126]

Dammit, Alpha Protocol looks like my kinda game and the stuff on sale is so cheap that I wouldn't mind picking up something to trade with you! Unfortunately, I don't have Steam and it looks like new accounts need some sort of six month 'cooling down' period before games can be traded or something D: I do have F.E.A.R on disc though I found it terrifying >.>;

[krisk]

I can't believe you posted this.

Anyway. Not getting you anything, but you should take out RE5. They have that on PSN + all the other RE games.

go pls debbie downer
oh man I can't believe your post is the first one in my kickass thread hurr, it kills the mood and seems abit mean. all my effort is shat upon, greeat

anyway thanks for that info, I'll keep that in mind. :l


not that RE5 was anywhere near my "high-demand" lists, but thx

Dammit, Alpha Protocol looks like my kinda game and the stuff on sale is so cheap that I wouldn't mind picking up something to trade with you! Unfortunately, I don't have Steam and it looks like new accounts need some sort of six month 'cooling down' period before games can be traded or something D: I do have F.E.A.R on disc though I found it terrifying >.>;

SIX MONTHS?

was it? I don't think so? I mean Gaben wants your money, so i don't know why he'd put a waiting period on buying games.

You can create an account just to try it out! AND ADD ME ON STEAM, WE CAN BE FRANS.
also I've got two copies of AP here, so I can save you one!

up to you, pam-bam.

Edited by krisk, 30 October 2011 - 08:57 AM.

[peanutbutter126]

SIX MONTHS?

was it? I don't think so? I mean Gaben wants your money, so i don't know why he'd put a waiting period on buying games.

You can create an account just to try it out! AND ADD ME ON STEAM, WE CAN BE FRANS.
also I've got two copies of AP here, so I can save you one!

up to you, pam-bam.

Alrighty, Steam downloaded and account made just for krisk actually I'm avoiding study >.>

I'm pretty sure you can buy games straight away, but trading could be an issue. I had a quick glance at the FAQ over here and it says this:

"Only gifts that are purchased on trusted accounts can be traded immediately; otherwise there is a 90-day cool down before the gift can be traded. Any account that has made any valid purchase from the Steam Store more than 90 days ago is considered trusted. This is to ensure that all games traded are valuable, and help prevent fraudulent purchases for the purpose of trades."

Okay, so it wasn't six months. Tis three - I told you I'm terrible at math! But could three months still be a problem D:

But if you don't mind the wait, I could pick up a game now and hold onto it for those super duper long months (meaning I am likely to forget all about it if not reminded!) If you want to go about it that way, tell me what game you want and I'll get it for you

Ze ball has been kicked back down your court, krisky

[Paradox Jast]

All you had to do was ask.

[Black Rose]

OH MY GOD.
*is having a gaming orgasm* I WANT ALL OF THESE. NOW.

(No money or permission though)
And krisk, thanks for making me go crazy once more.
Edit 1: AND YOUR SIGGY. Wow.
Edit 2: For a reason I can't explain krisk reminds me of GLaDOS

Edited by Black Rose, 30 October 2011 - 11:57 AM.

[krisk]

AGH sorry if you waited on my reply, pammy! I went to sleep because I heard my mom shuffling around (so skurred of her) before replying!

I left this tab open so it would be one of the first things I'd get to!

Alrighty, Steam downloaded and account made just for krisk actually I'm avoiding study >.>

I'm pretty sure you can buy games straight away, but trading could be an issue. I had a quick glance at the FAQ over here and it says this:

"Only gifts that are purchased on trusted accounts can be traded immediately; otherwise there is a 90-day cool down before the gift can be traded. Any account that has made any valid purchase from the Steam Store more than 90 days ago is considered trusted. This is to ensure that all games traded are valuable, and help prevent fraudulent purchases for the purpose of trades."

Okay, so it wasn't six months. Tis three - I told you I'm terrible at math! But could three months still be a problem D:

But if you don't mind the wait, I could pick up a game now and hold onto it for those super duper long months (meaning I am likely to forget all about it if not reminded!) If you want to go about it that way, tell me what game you want and I'll get it for you

Ze ball has been kicked back down your court, krisky

WTF YOU MADE AN ACCOUNT ARE WILLING TO WAIT 90 DAYS (what gaben, really?) FOR MEEEE.

you know what? since you're one of the few people to express WANT for this game (it's weird, it's like everyone's played it already), AND you've done so much already AND are willing to wait so long for something like this, I'll totally gift it to you for free. Think of it as a OMG PAM IS BACK LET'S GIVE HER STUFF! gift.

but only if it's okay with you, and you know you're interested in this game. I value good, genuine interest in video games. AND I ONLY GIB AFTER YOUR EXAMS ARE FINISHED. (I value a good, genuine education too )

if not this game, I can GIFT YOU SOMETHING ELSE OMG.



BUT ONLY AFTER EXAMS.



morever, if not this game, in particular, I'll buy you something else from another sale! There are SOOO MANY SALES (FFU MY WALLET) so if you're willing to wait, I'll buy you something from the Thanksgiving Sale or the Christmas Sale! CHRISTMAS DO IT. I WANT TO BUY EVERYONE EVERYTHING ON CHRISTMAS HHNNG.

Pam-wam, make a wishlist and I'll use it as a reference guide during the sales.


OR again, if you want this game REALLY REALLY WANT, I'll keep a copy of Alpha Protocol with me for you until you finish your exams



BALL. YOUR COURT. WHAT ARE WE PLAYING EVEN? IDK YOUR TURN DOHOHOH

All you had to do was ask.

oh but.

I but.

it seemed that you. BUT

okay i will.

OH MY GOD.
*is having a gaming orgasm* I WANT ALL OF THESE. NOW.

(No money or permission though)
And krisk, thanks for making me go crazy once more.
Edit 1: AND YOUR SIGGY. Wow.
Edit 2: For a reason I can't explain krisk reminds me of GLaDOS

OH MY GOD SO MANY DELICIOUS REFERENCES.

D'AW ROSIE, just wait till you get your first credit card. IT'LL BE LIKE HEAVEN

and don't worry, Steam usually has sales up the wazoo every year for every season!

oh gosh, you're welcome.


edit 1: OMG MY SIGGY. YOU KNOW IT'S A GIF RIGHT? THE ONE WITH MY BF? there's a surprise if you wait long enough (which I'm presuming, since it's you know ~him~ you did)

edit: LUL that's a new one. well, I like glados so I guess i'm okay with it. ty ty ty ty ty ty

Edited by krisk, 30 October 2011 - 05:49 PM.

[peanutbutter126]

AGH sorry if you waited on my reply, pammy! I went to sleep because I heard my mom shuffling around (so skurred of her) before replying!

I left this tab open so it would be one of the first things I'd get to!

Daww, krisk is scared of her mummy! ... Actually, I'm terrified of mine too, and scurried to bed as well. So all good!

WTF YOU MADE AN ACCOUNT ARE WILLING TO WAIT 90 DAYS (what gaben, really?) FOR MEEEE.

you know what? since you're one of the few people to express WANT for this game (it's weird, it's like everyone's played it already), AND you've done so much already AND are willing to wait so long for something like this, I'll totally gift it to you for free. Think of it as a OMG PAM IS BACK LET'S GIVE HER STUFF! gift.

but only if it's okay with you, and you know you're interested in this game. I value good, genuine interest in video games. AND I ONLY GIB AFTER YOUR EXAMS ARE FINISHED. (I value a good, genuine education too )

if not this game, I can GIFT YOU SOMETHING ELSE OMG.

BUT ONLY AFTER EXAMS.

morever, if not this game, in particular, I'll buy you something else from another sale! There are SOOO MANY SALES (FFU MY WALLET) so if you're willing to wait, I'll buy you something from the Thanksgiving Sale or the Christmas Sale! CHRISTMAS DO IT. I WANT TO BUY EVERYONE EVERYTHING ON CHRISTMAS HHNNG.

Pam-wam, make a wishlist and I'll use it as a reference guide during the sales.

OR again, if you want this game REALLY REALLY WANT, I'll keep a copy of Alpha Protocol with me for you until you finish your exams

KRISK-BAKA! The point was that I bought you something! D< What better way to make use of the spare change in my paypal? I was going to get you something anyway so you either pick from the Halloween sale or bargain on a good game in the Christmas sale Because that paypal credit is getting used up no matter what!

Yush, I quite like AP. I have trouble finding shooters that don't try to make me jump out of my seat in terror >.> Hold me a copy only if no one else is up for a trade, okay? :3 And how do I friend you on Steam? My mudkip avatar be lonely.

Ah, Christmas. That Secret Santa you organised years back was so much fun

BALL. YOUR COURT. WHAT ARE WE PLAYING EVEN? IDK YOUR TURN DOHOHOH

TENNIS. IMPOSSIBLE TARGET PRACTICE SPORT FOR KLUTZY PEOPLE. YOUR TURN!

[krisk]

Daww, krisk is scared of her mummy! ... Actually, I'm terrified of mine too, and scurried to bed as well. So all good!

I'M SO SCARED. I live at home now, pammy, and now she's crazy about when i sleep, how much sleep i get, how my curfew (CURFEW WTF) is slowly becoming earlier and earlier (1am? wut). she even wants me home the majority of the week.


TERRIFIED OF HER WRATH.

KRISK-BAKA! The point was that I bought you something! D< What better way to make use of the spare change in my paypal? I was going to get you something anyway so you either pick from the Halloween sale or bargain on a good game in the Christmas sale Because that paypal credit is getting used up no matter what!

Yush, I quite like AP. I have trouble finding shooters that don't try to make me jump out of my seat in terror >.> Hold me a copy only if no one else is up for a trade, okay? :3 And how do I friend you on Steam? My mudkip avatar be lonely.

Ah, Christmas. That Secret Santa you organised years back was so much fun


TENNIS. IMPOSSIBLE TARGET PRACTICE SPORT FOR KLUTZY PEOPLE. YOUR TURN!

D:

I.. I'll wait till Christmas, I'm sorry ;_;

BUT I'M STILL GIFTING FOR FREE! it's my game and i can gib it to pam for a hug if i want!


then it's settled, this game is reserved for you and only you for the price of one warm hug. and don't worry it's not scary. i recommend going the stealth route because the AI really does not know wtf is going on sometimes bhahaha

friend me here and I'll try to get back atcha asap: http://steamcommunit...regnantfromthis




OMG SEKRIT SANTA, GOOD IDEA. I am feeling so very festive this year, pammy. i think i'll try to do it again.


although i'll have to take a poll on the theme. if we make the theme more broad and general, like not necessarily NaruSaku (have they done it yet? wtf) we may have a bigger turn-out! so excite~

[krisk]

UPDATE:

guise i got skurred and bought some of the games I wanted, JUST NOW.

I'm not sure what time the sale ends today, and i didn't want to lose my chance. i got paranoid, weenie'd out and bought about 4 games by myself

LMFAO OKAY so some are crossed out. if luck has it I can still trade with someone (most likely Paradox at this point) for other games on here.


(or I may just tell him to wait till christmas because there will probably be MORE AWESOME GAMES available. brace for inevitable closing of my awesome thread, guise.)


TYVMFYT.




EDIT:

guise.



i bought more games.


WHAT A LOAD OF CROCK MY THREAD ACCOMPLISHED. i'm out X amount of $$$ and have gained nothing but a small acute feeling of self-loathing and a thousand more games I'll never play.

bloody fantastic


well, actually i found two ppl to gib these copies of AP too, so i guess it wasn't all for not.


xmas time, i will get that bargain



anywayz,



MODS, CAN I GET A LOCKDOWN ON MY THREAD HURR?

Edited by krisk, 31 October 2011 - 06:44 AM.

[JoHamSandwich]

Just wondering, but what did you buy out of your list?

[No WhereMan]

Krisk after reading this now, I have only two regrets.

1. That I already purchased Alpha Protocol on ps3 a few months ago
2. That I didn't read this earlier.


Oh my god, you are a delight to observe. I can't imagine what your household must be like. Thank you for providing an entertaining ride.