Two more pokeballs crashed to the ground and the fetid smoke exploded forth once more, Tsu clapping her hands over her nose and mouth again and staggering back, eyes watering.
Another gust of fresh air swept the place clean and the two ladies blinked at their new opponents.
There stood a fluffy white bear-type thing the size of a small dog, little purple bat wings sticking out of its back, its nose like a little red tomato upon its face and a matching fluffy pompom sticking out of its helmet. It twitched violently, one eye squinted closed and foam starting to froth up from the corner of its mouth.
Beside the berserk moogle was a giant deck of cards, on the back of each card was the image of a dog wearing a lobster suit, each card about a metre tall, the top of each card fitted with a helmet. There it stood, floating a hands-width above the ground.
"ANGUYEN, USE POKER FACE!" roared LID, pointing a fierce finger in the cards direction.
The deck of cards floated there and music started playing from nowhere at all, everyone staring.
"I'll get him hot," said the cards in a monotone voice, wiggling in place, "show him what I got..."
A mirror ball appeared from the void and the music was suddenly a lot louder.
"CAN'T READ MY," sang the cards, dancing in place, "CAN'T READ MY, NO HE CAN'T READ MY... POKER FACE!"
"She's got to love nobody" accompanied the berserk moogle, foam spewing out of his mouth like suds from a rogue washing machine.
"CAN'T READ MY," the singing was getting louder and louder. "CAN'T READ MY, NO HE CAN'T READ MY... POKER FACE!!"
Tsu and Yondy were clutching their ears, their entire heads throbbing with the music as it got louder and louder. The ground was pulsing at the very same beat as the music, cracks and breaks appearing in rocks and stones, no doubt the very same would happen to the heads of our two heroes
"P-P-POKER FACE! P-POKER FACE!" The deck of cards was doing the kind of dance that, had it been forced upon one to explain it through the time-old tradition of interpretive dance, one would have to include a half-cooked squid and a sequined g-string.
"Mu mu mum mah," the moogle spluttered through the foam, waving a lighter in the air.
"P-P-POKER FACE! P-POKER FACE!"
Collapsing and sobbing the names of classical composers into the ground, Yondy shot a hand out, fingers spread, and all fifty two helmets shot off the cards to clatter far away.
Tsu slapped a hand upon her temple and contorted her face at the deck, because everyone knows that if you touch your temple it activates your telepathic powers, and eye-contact accentuates it. Even if decks of cards don't have eyes.
In the deck's mind, it saw a pretty little girl-deck that it knew many a years ago, and had fallen madly in love with, and then the little girl-deck told the boy-deck something only he could hear.
The explosion of heart-wrenching sobs startled the moogle and he dropped his lighter, a spine-wrenching record-scratch ceasing the music and the mirror ball blinking out of existence once more.
The deck of cards sobbed its heart out to the little girl-deck in his mind, oblivious to the flames spreading from the fallen lighter and licking at his corners, his mind only on the pretty little girl-deck and nothing else.
Flapping his little paws at the flames, the moogle's fire-fighting attempts were worthless since he didn't have the hat and matching outfit. Anguyen the deck of cards went up in smoke and he exploded into a shower of ash and sparks, raining his particles down upon everyone as the flames on the ground flickered and went out.
"Fudge," said LID with a scowl.
Tsu staggered to her feet and brushed herself off before grabbing hold of one of Yondy's sleeves and wrenching the other girl to her feet also, Yondy's mask melting away into a cascade of paperclips, each one floating up to circle her helmeted head in a wide, glittering orbit.
Flicking some ash off his shoulder with a nonchalant flourish, LID straightened his posture and sniffed. "Berserk Moogle, use flamethrower."
"Flamewhat?" blinked Yondy.
A glow sparked to life deep in the moogle's throat and he opened his mouth, torrents of foam gushing forth, glowing brighter and brighter until-
All light and sound vanished from the universe for a second before a beam of fire exploded from the moogle's mouth in a deafening roar of flames and pure white light.
The fire crashed into a metal dome, under which Tsu and Yondy were crouching, Yondy's hands hand out to the metal, her fingers splayed as if jazz hands were the only thing that would keep the dome from melting.
"How are we going to get out of this one?" muttered Tsu, eying the metal around her as it began to glow, and the heat throbbed from it, into her skin.
"How should I know?" grunted Yondy as drops of molten metal dripped from the dome. "It's not as if I'm writing this bollocks."
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