16 replies to this topic

[Hefster]

http://www.destructo...20551.phtml#ext

I seriously sometimes wonder what people think

[True]

It's what we call the "Spice Girls method," where a woman acts as if she's all about female empowerment and ignores the irony that she was created by a room full of men to appeal to a room full of boys.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Good God I lol'd

[Sir Whirly]

2. Look as non-age specific as possible:
As a videogame female, your job is to be as attractive to as many men as possible, and since pedophiles buy videogames too, looking like a ten-year-old boy with huge kittens can't hurt. Japanese female game characters are masters of this, their faces carrying an ambiguity that can be attractive to anybody, which allows salarymen to be naughty pederasts without their wives suspecting a thing.
The perfect women will have completely androgynous faces to ensnare both straight and gay men, with the huge dewy eyes and small mouths of creepy, doll-esque children for the pervoids. Finally, a wazzo pair of jugs sprouting from the ribcage like a two balloons full of custard just to make sure nobody feels guilty about cracking one off over the videogame box art. Everyone's a winner.

Too much lulz.

[Vyse]

Hehehe, this cracked me up. Well written satire imo, and the sarcasm is laid on thick so even the most narrow minded feminist has to see that this is a joke-article, so he won't get punted to the moon (or worse). He more or less explained the stereotypical mindset of any female vg hero, and he made it funny to boot... great work I dare say. Not all of the laws were as funny, but my favourites were numbers 1, 4, 7 and 10.

It really does describe more or less every video game heroine, and I find it strange how I never really thought about their lack of clothing as a bad thing before now. Hmmm, strange and curious indeed! Oh well, nice find Hefster, thanks for sharing.

[Dormin]

Sad it's True...


Although I do like rule seven from time to time

[Derock]

Many of the rules are True and funny and they are based on stereotypes. Sooner or later, the "Golden" Rules will be broken.

[KungFuTruffle]

Hee hee, 'Marmalade.'

Yeah, that pretty much does sum up women in video games. Which is sad, because those are some pretty weak 'characterizations'. Giant bosoms do not a character make.

And put some freaking pants on, for God's sake! Who in their right mind goes wading through a swamp in cut off-cut off jeans? Ever hear of leeches? :rolleyes:

[Smiter]

That gave me a good laugh. XD

[Kyuudaime]

I like rule three.

[Mik3]

i bought a shirt with #10 on it

[Hefster]

Heh, glad you all enjoyed it. Personally I thought rule 1 hit's the nail on the head pretty well.

[psycho666]

Just because you're a member of the supporting cast doesn't mean you don't have rules to obey! The primary objective for all female supporting cast members in a videogame is that they must fall in love with the hero, but be a right nasty b*tch to him at the same time. Don't worry, it's character development, and nobody will think you're being a completely stupid twat who can't get her life sorted out.

It's important that you make the hero think you hate him, but get insanely jealous when he quite rightly takes an interest in a woman who isn't a stuck-up kitten. Yes, just like in Hey Arnold!. By the end of the game, however, your true feelings will be known, and he suddenly won't mind that you're an egregious kittenspanner with schizophrenic tendencies. It's how love works in real life, too.

I lol at this part, so True so True. Stereotypes will always be broken eventually though, until they themselves become the stereotype.

[Illmatic]

i bought a shirt with #10 on it

good suff, it's all pretty much True

[BlackLightning]

If you don't want fifteen year-olds drawing pictures of you with a massive d**k between your legs, then you don't want to be a famous female videogame character. It's simple as that.

Damn right...

[NuclearRaven]

Amen to this.

[AyaMoto74]

Sadly, this is True . . . But funny! The most hysterical part was about hentai, that was freaking hilarious. I don't think that part about the three stereotypes are True though, nor for the loving-the-hero character. What do you guys think?

[BlackLightning]

Sadly, this is True . . . But funny! The most hysterical part was about hentai, that was freaking hilarious. I don't think that part about the three stereotypes are True though, nor for the loving-the-hero character. What do you guys think?

2 words for that comment: Spot On