227 replies to this topic

[ramenanmitsu]

Anyways, I need to say this out.

it was the night of December 27 last year....

I went clubbing with my friends. Me, my Korean best friend and three of my girl friends. We were dancing and having fun (I can't dance so I was more like standing). Then suddenly one of my girl friend spotted a "good looking guy" and wanted to get close to him. My Korean friend helped her and brought the "good looking guy" to our table. My girl friend was trying hard to strike a conversation with him which he politely replied. Then he locked eyes with me and asked if I was that girl's boyfriend. I replied no. Then the "good looking guy" smiled and said, "I'm very relieved to hear that. Now I can seriously ask you out." The problem was he looked at me while saying it. I waited for three seconds until I was able to blurt out, "me?"

"Yes. The moment I met you it was love at first sight."

"Thanks."

"Can you please be my boyfriend?"

"I'm very grateful for your feelings but sorry, I'm not interested in dating."

"Then can you at least have one night with me?"

Then my Korean best friend who is also a bastard started holding my shoulders tightly and cry out, "Can't you see how sincere he is!? Are you going to reject him! How cruel! Don't you think so girls?"

To which all my girl friends replied with, "yeah!" "totally!"

I wanted to cut their heads off because I KNEW they were having fun with this situation. So I did the only thing I could. I ran.

Was there any other way I could've overcome that situation? I really feel bad for the guy who confessed his love to me but staying there would have made MY situation worse.

Edited by ramenanmitsu, 03 January 2015 - 06:25 AM.

[Khaleesi]

 

Did you run? Don't you have your leg bad or something? Anyway. In my opinion, that dude was actually awful. No means no. And asking you for a relationship right away? Pushing you to accept him? You shouldn't feel bad at all. I would have reacted way differently. Your friends shouldn't have do that either...

[ramenanmitsu]

 
Did you run? Don't you have your leg bad or something? Anyway. In my opinion, that dude was actually awful. No means no. And asking you for a relationship right away? Pushing you to accept him? You shouldn't feel bad at all. I would have reacted way differently. Your friends shouldn't have do that either...

Even if I have a broken leg, I healed quite a bit so I can actually walk and run a little (although it hurts later) as long as I have this wooden "soegi" attached. I use my left foot to move forward and drag my injured right foot. But dance is a huge no-no because I have to use both my legs with equal power. So I could only stand.

Thanks. Actually, I feel much better. I felt bad for running away when that guy was being honest and being brave coming out with his feelings. Because it's really difficult to express you're homosexual in such a conservative company like Japan.

My friends do those kind of kitten stuff all the time to each other. I don't enjoy when I'm involved in it though.

Edited by ramenanmitsu, 03 January 2015 - 06:51 AM.

[Khaleesi]

Even if I have a broken leg, I healed quite a bit so I can actually walk and run a little (although it hurts later) as long as I have this wooden "soegi" attached. I use my left foot to move forward and drag my injured right foot. But dance is a huge no-no because I have to use both my legs with equal power. So I could only stand.

Thanks. Actually, I feel much better. I felt bad for running away when that guy was being honest and being brave coming out with his feelings. Because it's really difficult to express you're homosexual in such a conservative company like Japan.

My friends do those kind of kitten stuff all the time to each other. I don't enjoy when I'm involved in it though.

Probably I'm way evil to think about his feelings but that counts as harassment. And probably because I was born as a woman I have to deal with that kind of kitten every kittening time. 

And, yeah, I was thinking that you maybe felt like that because he was a guy saying you that, but even so that doesn't excuse him. 

My friends would have kick him out of there, not literally, but they don't stand that kind of things. I believed you were more strict about the things that bothers you, but this was an awkward and probably weird situation for you anyway.

[ramenanmitsu]

Probably I'm way evil to think about his feelings but that counts as harassment. And probably because I was born as a woman I have to deal with that kind of kitten every kittening time. 
And, yeah, I was thinking that you maybe felt like that because he was a guy saying you that, but even so that doesn't excuse him. 
My friends would have kick him out of there, not literally, but they don't stand that kind of things. I believed you were more strict about the things that bothers you, but this was an awkward and probably weird situation for you anyway.

I see. So that's how it is. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, I feel like I shouldn't feel harassed or something. But yeah, if that guy was doing the same thing to a female friend who isn't interested, I would've actually try to cut in and help. It's really interesting how this kind of gender stereotypes ended up giving me some kind of a distorted view.

[Khaleesi]

I see. So that's how it is. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, I feel like I shouldn't feel harassed or something. But yeah, if that guy was doing the same thing to a female friend who isn't interested, I would've actually try to cut in and help. It's really interesting how this kind of gender stereotypes ended up giving me some kind of a distorted view.

That's how sexism works. It affects everyone. I recommend you to talk about this with your friends. Internalized sexism is not always noticed. But it's your decision. 

Later.

[Khaleesi]

Hey, Ramen. I want to ask you something. Can we talk?

[Naruko]

Anyways, I need to say this out.

it was the night of December 27 last year....

I went clubbing with my friends. Me, my Korean best friend and three of my girl friends. We were dancing and having fun (I can't dance so I was more like standing). Then suddenly one of my girl friend spotted a "good looking guy" and wanted to get close to him. My Korean friend helped her and brought the "good looking guy" to our table. My girl friend was trying hard to strike a conversation with him which he politely replied. Then he locked eyes with me and asked if I was that girl's boyfriend. I replied no. Then the "good looking guy" smiled and said, "I'm very relieved to hear that. Now I can seriously ask you out." The problem was he looked at me while saying it. I waited for three seconds until I was able to blurt out, "me?"

"Yes. The moment I met you it was love at first sight."

"Thanks."

"Can you please be my boyfriend?"

"I'm very grateful for your feelings but sorry, I'm not interested in dating."

"Then can you at least have one night with me?"

Then my Korean best friend who is also a bastard started holding my shoulders tightly and cry out, "Can't you see how sincere he is!? Are you going to reject him! How cruel! Don't you think so girls?"

To which all my girl friends replied with, "yeah!" "totally!"

I wanted to cut their heads off because I KNEW they were having fun with this situation. So I did the only thing I could. I ran.

Was there any other way I could've overcome that situation? I really feel bad for the guy who confessed his love to me but staying there would have made MY situation worse.

LMAO I'm sure you were hell of uncomfortable with that situation! I know how it is! And friends do never make it better

But wow that guy was just... so direct! :o Is that normal for Japanese? I mean, don't you try to pull a conversation before saying those things or something? Or did that good looking guy sound weird for you too?

[ramenanmitsu]

Hey, Ramen. I want to ask you something. Can we talk?

  
Sorry I didn't notice! Yes we can talk!

LMAO I'm sure you were hell of uncomfortable with that situation! I know how it is! And friends do never make it better
But wow that guy was just... so direct! :o Is that normal for Japanese? I mean, don't you try to pull a conversation before saying those things or something? Or did that good looking guy sound weird for you too?

I'm not a social guy so I don't know how to handle these kinds of situation.....

It's not normal at all! I've never seen someone so blunt especially in Japan. We rarely say what we think!

[BakeNeko-Chan]

Anyways, I need to say this out.

it was the night of December 27 last year....

I went clubbing with my friends. Me, my Korean best friend and three of my girl friends. We were dancing and having fun (I can't dance so I was more like standing). Then suddenly one of my girl friend spotted a "good looking guy" and wanted to get close to him. My Korean friend helped her and brought the "good looking guy" to our table. My girl friend was trying hard to strike a conversation with him which he politely replied. Then he locked eyes with me and asked if I was that girl's boyfriend. I replied no. Then the "good looking guy" smiled and said, "I'm very relieved to hear that. Now I can seriously ask you out." The problem was he looked at me while saying it. I waited for three seconds until I was able to blurt out, "me?"

"Yes. The moment I met you it was love at first sight."

"Thanks."

"Can you please be my boyfriend?"

"I'm very grateful for your feelings but sorry, I'm not interested in dating."

"Then can you at least have one night with me?"

Then my Korean best friend who is also a bastard started holding my shoulders tightly and cry out, "Can't you see how sincere he is!? Are you going to reject him! How cruel! Don't you think so girls?"

To which all my girl friends replied with, "yeah!" "totally!"

I wanted to cut their heads off because I KNEW they were having fun with this situation. So I did the only thing I could. I ran.

Was there any other way I could've overcome that situation? I really feel bad for the guy who confessed his love to me but staying there would have made MY situation worse.

 

I totally would have run too. I would have been completely mortified in such a situation as yours, because I hate being put on the spot and I am not good at dealing with people. If someone approached me in such a forward manner I'd be afraid of hurting their feelings but also a little pissed off that they don't seem to get it when you say "I'm not interested in dating." When you say you're not interested, you mean you are not interested. It really irritates me when people don't seem to understand or push or say "you'll change your mind, you'll see."

 

Lol, I'm rambling now.

[Naruko]

  
Sorry I didn't notice! Yes we can talk!
I'm not a social guy so I don't know how to handle these kinds of situation.....

It's not normal at all! I've never seen someone so blunt especially in Japan. We rarely say what we think!

 

Not even all social guys do  that person was really, reaaally blunt, I'd be in shock. And I'm social    But hey, you should feel flattered  

[ramenanmitsu]

I totally would have run too. I would have been completely mortified in such a situation as yours, because I hate being put on the spot and I am not good at dealing with people. If someone approached me in such a forward manner I'd be afraid of hurting their feelings but also a little pissed off that they don't seem to get it when you say "I'm not interested in dating." When you say you're not interested, you mean you are not interested. It really irritates me when people don't seem to understand or push or say "you'll change your mind, you'll see."
 
Lol, I'm rambling now.

Haha, thanks for sympathizing with me. I kind of got over it but I'm still A bit wary to go to clubs. Which I never really liked to go in the first place if it weren't for my friends dragging me.

It kind of made me realize that those surprise events they show on TV, where the guy does a surprise proposal to the girl and asks her to marry him in front of the whole audience, is really not a kind thing to do to a girl. Well obviously the situation is different to mine because in this case the girl and the guy are dating. But still, just because you're dating doesn't 100% prove that the girl wants to marry you and you're pressuring her to say yes. And if she says no, the audience will feel sorry for the guy, and feel negatively towards the girl.

  

Not even all social guys do  that person was really, reaaally blunt, I'd be in shock. And I'm social    But hey, you should feel flattered  

I should feel flattered that I attract guys? Lol. Actually, this isn't my first time. I had a host that liked me and chased me around. Geez, that was terrible.

[ramenanmitsu]

Call me crazy. I love Amy Dunne.

[六道仙人]

Call me crazy. I love Amy Dunne.

 

oh, did you see that movie? I just seen it yesterday... Great movie, but that woman.... is just totally crazy  it's the first yandere I have ever seen in the movies...

[ramenanmitsu]

Beware spoilers of GONE GIRL

oh, did you see that movie? I just seen it yesterday... Great movie, but that woman.... is just totally crazy  it's the first yandere I have ever seen in the movies...

She's crazy but isn't she just awesome!? I'm so tired with all these old era Japanese 時代劇 females in which they're just one-dimensional women listening and following their husbands and people are admiring how loyal they are. It happens in Hollywood movies too where the women are just shown as supporters. Like wtf, these women are boring as hell!

But then I saw Amy and wow! I'm instantly charmed by her patiently playing her part one whole year, being smart enough to plot the whole scheme and the guts to actually execute the plan. Like whoa! I know people might call her evil, but I don't care about their morality when judging how much I like them. We need more crazy people like her. Of course NOT in the real world. I'd rather dive in the Antarctic Ocean than meeting this type of woman.

[六道仙人]

yeah, I kinda agree with you. On the one hand I find her crazy and on the other one I'm fascinated from her not ordinary crazyness.

Anyway that actress, Rosamunde Pike, totally deserves the oscar for this role.

[Khaleesi]

 

But hey, you should feel flattered   

?

So he should feel flattered to be liked by women too? I never understood this sentence. 

.
I should feel flattered that I attract guys? Lol. Actually, this isn't my first time. I had a host that liked me and chased me around. Geez, that was terrible.

Dammit. I couldn't resist. I want to know about that 

 

yeah, I kinda agree with you. On the one hand I find her crazy and on the other one I'm fascinated from her not ordinary crazyness.

Anyway that actress, Rosamunde Pike, totally deserves the oscar for this role.

She's crazy but Yandere is not a good term for her. She's a psychopath.

Lmao, this reminds me of Hard Candy. A friend that I made watch Code Geass told me to watch that movie so we are in the same boat (?) He told me that I reminded him of her and when I watched the movie...well. That kid sure is hardcore. But I was wondering if that's how the world sees me, lol.

You shsould definetely see it! You will like it (:

[Khaleesi]

@ramenanmitsu

I'll send you a message later.

[Naruko]

 
?
So he should feel flattered to be liked by women too? I never understood this sentence. 

  I should feel flattered that I attract guys? Lol. Actually, this isn't my first time. I had a host thaty liked me and chased me around. Geez, that was terrible.

Not exactly because it's a guy. But usually this "love at first sight" thing is purely based on physical attraction. That means the person found you attractive lol it doesn't matter if he's a guy. The gay guys I know are pretty much selective. So basically that person was saying "You are good looking". I could be wrong though, but you could see it as a compliment so it wouldn't be so disturbing.

[ramenanmitsu]

yeah, I kinda agree with you. On the one hand I find her crazy and on the other one I'm fascinated from her not ordinary crazyness.
Anyway that actress, Rosamunde Pike, totally deserves the oscar for this role.

 
Exactly. She's so hot and elegant. Definitely made the list for my top ten favorite actress.

Dammit. I couldn't resist. I want to know about that 

 
Long story short. My friend dated a host, or that's what she wants me to believe. (I think she's just been taken advantage from him, but who cares.) Anyways, the host, my friend, and I went out once to eat dinner. When my friend went to the bathroom, this guy sat next to me, whispered to my ear saying, "how do you like guys" while his hand touched my legs, went on my shoulder and YUCK! I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYMORE I DO NOT WANT TO REMEMBER!

 

Not exactly because it's a guy. But usually this "love at first sight" thing is purely based on physical attraction. That means the person found you attractive lol it doesn't matter if he's a guy. The gay guys I know are pretty much selective. So basically that person was saying "You are good looking". I could be wrong though, but you could see it as a compliment so it wouldn't be so disturbing.

Well if that were the case, there should have been girls approaching me. Which there weren't.

Or maybe I attract "gays only" HAHAHAHA........oh dear *cries*

Edited by ramenanmitsu, 08 January 2015 - 03:22 PM.