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Derock's WIP Naruto-redemption fic(s)

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#41 Chatte

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Posted 13 October 2020 - 09:14 PM

Good news! 

 

I got some names of my main villain. I have two or three names:

 

Villain name is

 

Also, Chatte will love this info:

 

Character hidden promotion

 

Ooooooooooh, I SO LOVE THIIIS!

Whoaa, can't wait to see more about the seer. Is she taken after Hotaru/Sailor Saturn? :D

 

Also, interesting villain name and the connection with The Tale of the Bamboo cutter.

 

I'm actually gonna have to create some villains myself, as well.

 

I mean, I have the Otsutsuki nevertheless, but like... actually create new ones because I don't want to use everything we have in canon about them on my story. 

 

Need my own tweak. 

 

Whoaa, but so excited about that lil' spoiler.

 

Me with my story I realized that Kaika Saisei is the perfect name I could've given it. The base is Kaika though, because it really stands for all I am planning to do with it.

 

I've also started organizing all the info on the three act structure since that's the structure overall.

 

I'll have Naruto's generation - kids generation and last but not least, grandkids generation.

 

Most of all I want to portray correctly the way I plan on changing the shinobi system and how that transpires to the newer generation.


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#42 Derock

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 01:29 AM

 

Ooooooooooh, I SO LOVE THIIIS!

Whoaa, can't wait to see more about the seer. Is she taken after Hotaru/Sailor Saturn? :D

 

No, not Saturn/Hotaru.  But, she is based on one of the Outer Soldiers, and some essences of Sailor Mars/Rei.  :P


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#43 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 06:25 AM

 

No, not Saturn/Hotaru.  But, she is based on one of the Outer Soldiers, and some essences of Sailor Mars/Rei.  :P

 

Interesting :smile:

 

 

Ooooooooooh, I SO LOVE THIIIS!

Whoaa, can't wait to see more about the seer. Is she taken after Hotaru/Sailor Saturn? :D

 

Also, interesting villain name and the connection with The Tale of the Bamboo cutter.

 

I'm actually gonna have to create some villains myself, as well.

 

I mean, I have the Otsutsuki nevertheless, but like... actually create new ones because I don't want to use everything we have in canon about them on my story. 

 

Need my own tweak. 

 

Whoaa, but so excited about that lil' spoiler.

 

Me with my story I realized that Kaika Saisei is the perfect name I could've given it. The base is Kaika though, because it really stands for all I am planning to do with it.

 

I've also started organizing all the info on the three act structure since that's the structure overall.

 

I'll have Naruto's generation - kids generation and last but not least, grandkids generation.

 

Most of all I want to portray correctly the way I plan on changing the shinobi system and how that transpires to the newer generation.

Sounds like you got some cool ideas going for you here, Chatte :D



#44 Chatte

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 08:14 PM

 

No, not Saturn/Hotaru.  But, she is based on one of the Outer Soldiers, and some essences of Sailor Mars/Rei.  :P

Then it has to be Pluto. xD

 

 

Interesting :smile:

 

Sounds like you got some cool ideas going for you here, Chatte :D

Ooh, I do actually.

 

As of now I have the following things covered:

 

spoiler

Edited by Chatte, 14 October 2020 - 08:14 PM.

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#45 Derock

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 09:06 PM

Then it has to be Pluto. xD

 

 

You know, it could be interesting. Pluto has ties to time and space so I may reserve that to someone.  But it ain't her. 

 

The seer


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#46 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 10:20 PM

 
You know, it could be interesting. Pluto has ties to time and space so I may reserve that to someone.  But it ain't her. 
 

The seer


Huh. What you mentioned about Michiru so far does give me some vibes for sure of Rose, Menat, abd Chizuru, especially Chizuru, with the mirror reminding me of the Mirror of Yata, one of Japans three imperial regalia.

#47 Derock

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 11:42 PM

Huh. What you mentioned about Michiru so far does give me some vibes for sure of Rose, Menat, abd Chizuru, especially Chizuru, with the mirror reminding me of the Mirror of Yata, one of Japans three imperial regalia.

 

Yep. I think I may incorporate the Yata Mirror as her moveset, similar to Chizuru, mixing with Rose's Soul Power, scarf and all.

 

I just realized that Masashi never incorporated the Yasakani no Magatama in the plot.  (Although with the Uchihas and the Otsutsukis as part of their designs).


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#48 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 02:53 AM

 

Yep. I think I may incorporate the Yata Mirror as her moveset, similar to Chizuru, mixing with Rose's Soul Power, scarf and all.

 

I just realized that Masashi never incorporated the Yasakani no Magatama in the plot.  (Although with the Uchihas and the Otsutsukis as part of their designs).

 

I know what you mean regarding the Magatama of Yasakani. Perhaps he had some ideas but didn't follow up on them due to time and also pressure from his editors. The way it feels with the Mirror of Yata, there can be a lot of ways to do something with it, just like with Kusanagi, and how Orochimaru's is said to be much stronger than Sasuke's can be in many ways, and even the Magatama of Yasakani could have lots of potential for it. Look how it's been used in The King of Fighters with Iori's backstory as well as the ties to Orochi and how he has his purple flames as well as the power of Orochi in his veins.



#49 Derock

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 03:14 AM

 

I know what you mean regarding the Magatama of Yasakani. Perhaps he had some ideas but didn't follow up on them due to time and also pressure from his editors. The way it feels with the Mirror of Yata, there can be a lot of ways to do something with it, just like with Kusanagi, and how Orochimaru's is said to be much stronger than Sasuke's can be in many ways, and even the Magatama of Yasakani could have lots of potential for it. Look how it's been used in The King of Fighters with Iori's backstory as well as the ties to Orochi and how he has his purple flames as well as the power of Orochi in his veins.

 

What's even funny about The King of Fighters is this:

 

On SNK AllStar, their recent game app on Android and iPhone devices, there are background stories via journals on certain characters when you are unlocking and increasing their weapons. Mai has so many references about Naruto, it is not even funny. Andy kept asking topics such as Genjutsus and the Uchiha fire blowing jutsus when they were younger, and Mai gave him "What kind of BS are you talking about?" look before she fell in love with him.


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#50 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 06:38 AM

 

What's even funny about The King of Fighters is this:

 

On SNK AllStar, their recent game app on Android and iPhone devices, there are background stories via journals on certain characters when you are unlocking and increasing their weapons. Mai has so many references about Naruto, it is not even funny. Andy kept asking topics such as Genjutsus and the Uchiha fire blowing jutsus when they were younger, and Mai gave him "What kind of BS are you talking about?" look before she fell in love with him.

 

Oh, my God, that's hilarious!! X-D But I guess given Andy grew up in America that he'd only know about ninjas from stuff like manga, movies, anime, and more. Just the idea of that is HILARIOUS! :smile:



#51 Derock

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 06:43 PM

 

Oh, my God, that's hilarious!! X-D But I guess given Andy grew up in America that he'd only know about ninjas from stuff like manga, movies, anime, and more. Just the idea of that is HILARIOUS! :smile:

 

Yeah, the whole section on Mai's journals were so hilarious that she had to explain to Andy how the techniques actual work (and not to mention her famous skimpy outfit).  Interesting enough though, she did reveal information about real Genjutsu techniques which include dangerous drugs and herbs that will make real hallucinations. I want to incorporate how those situations work in the Naruto-verse when I reached and begin working on the New Timeline. It can get interesting to see regular made Genjutsus versus real Genjutsu that no powers involved.

 

Also, I officiate my villain name as

Villain

 

Like Hazama from Blazblue, the man has such a foul mouth! The name calling will be in full blast whenever he gets pissed. I also giving him some M. Bison/Vega (Dictator) from Street Fighter and Saiki from King of Fighters XIII vibes. The scary thing is that he's near immortal/God territory so our heroes may have problems facing him.


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#52 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 09:18 PM

 

Yeah, the whole section on Mai's journals were so hilarious that she had to explain to Andy how the techniques actual work (and not to mention her famous skimpy outfit).  Interesting enough though, she did reveal information about real Genjutsu techniques which include dangerous drugs and herbs that will make real hallucinations. I want to incorporate how those situations work in the Naruto-verse when I reached and begin working on the New Timeline. It can get interesting to see regular made Genjutsus versus real Genjutsu that no powers involved.

 

Also, I officiate my villain name as

Villain

 

Like Hazama from Blazblue, the man has such a foul mouth! The name calling will be in full blast whenever he gets pissed. I also giving him some M. Bison/Vega (Dictator) from Street Fighter and Saiki from King of Fighters XIII vibes. The scary thing is that he's near immortal/God territory so our heroes may have problems facing him.

 

Well, it sounds nuts so far. I can also imagine that your villain is gonna be as powerful as Kronika in a lot of ways too, besides being like Bison or Saiki. It makes me think of my fanfic and how I was thinking of the involvement with Madara as the main antagonist overall, since I wouldn't want to keep the idea of Obito being alive and acting as the Darth Maul to Madara's Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious.

 

The basic idea I had is while Madara uses the Akatsuki for his ends to collect the Biju for the Infinite Tsukuyomi so he can become a god effectively (driven mad by his power and feeling betrayed by Izuna when he wanted peace between the Senju and Uchiha, as well as the Uchiha in turn betraying him when they chose Hashirama to be Hokage, even as he went along with it, but showed his true colors outside of the Leaf Village), is that he has a set of true followers that are consisted of many Nukenin and those wronged by the world as a whole that he has brought in as his followers to help him in ending humanity's mistakes by becoming a god with the Infinite Tsukuyomi and ending war, poverty, and all that, but also not seeing he takes away free will too.

 

As for how Madara survived, I had thought of that. He actually in his old age used what he did to make Zetsu (I only would use Kaguya in backstory elements as well as showing more ideas to Hagoromo, Hamura, Indra, and Ashura) to make himself a cloned body. However, his cloned body's unique state couldn't handle the enhanced power of his Rinnegan (which would awaken in only a select few descendants of Hagoromo or Hamura thanks to their sharing Kaguya's blood, and her having had all three Great Dojutsu) so he had to use eyes from other Uchiha he either hunted down, or those he could take from the Leaf Village (he also plays a part in leading Itachi to commit the massacre rather than Itachi choosing to do it himself).

 

There's so much to talk about for The Demon Within I feel I'm gonna need to do my own discussion thread on it. XD



#53 Derock

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 09:53 PM

 

Well, it sounds nuts so far. I can also imagine that your villain is gonna be as powerful as Kronika in a lot of ways too, besides being like Bison or Saiki. It makes me think of my fanfic and how I was thinking of the involvement with Madara as the main antagonist overall, since I wouldn't want to keep the idea of Obito being alive and acting as the Darth Maul to Madara's Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious.

 

Yeah, his goals will be a bit similar to Kronika. I forgot about Palpatine, though I'm not a hardcore Star Wars fan.  I remembered reading your fanfic when we had the library here. There were some good fics that we had to get rid off...  :cry:


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#54 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 05:38 AM

 

Yeah, his goals will be a bit similar to Kronika. I forgot about Palpatine, though I'm not a hardcore Star Wars fan.  I remembered reading your fanfic when we had the library here. There were some good fics that we had to get rid off...  :cry:

 

No kidding! And I know that I got called a Cliffhanger Bastard and a Magnificent Bastard for my work in TDW :) It's why I'm doing what I can to rework it and tell the tale again.



#55 Chatte

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 12:35 PM

 

You know, it could be interesting. Pluto has ties to time and space so I may reserve that to someone.  But it ain't her. 

 

The seer

 

Oooh, why haven't I thought about Michiru, damn!! But pleased to find out. Can't wait to see such character!!

 

As for your villain, it's so interesting heheh... You're taking this the 'earth' road, i'm taking this the heaven (spiritual universe) road.

 

And likewise, Naruto (and Karin by default since she's an Uzumaki) are the keys of him fulfilling his plans. Well, he doesn't know about Karin tho, but she'll have a role.

Sasuke will also be targeted in a way.

An important key to all of this though, will be of course, Sakura. She's going to be doing some things that not even these gods can, and that's the reason they target Naruto and Sasuke. 

 

Also lol, I agree with Bryon, as much as we talk about our stories, we kinda need to make our own threads cuz we've spammed yours enough, heh.

 

Aah can't wait to see where your story is heading. The Mars/Michiru combination totally spiked my interest. :D


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#56 Derock

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 04:43 PM

 

Oooh, why haven't I thought about Michiru, damn!! But pleased to find out. Can't wait to see such character!!

 

As for your villain, it's so interesting heheh... You're taking this the 'earth' road, i'm taking this the heaven (spiritual universe) road.

 

And likewise, Naruto (and Karin by default since she's an Uzumaki) are the keys of him fulfilling his plans. Well, he doesn't know about Karin tho, but she'll have a role.

Sasuke will also be targeted in a way.

An important key to all of this though, will be of course, Sakura. She's going to be doing some things that not even these gods can, and that's the reason they target Naruto and Sasuke. 

 

Also lol, I agree with Bryon, as much as we talk about our stories, we kinda need to make our own threads cuz we've spammed yours enough, heh.

 

Aah can't wait to see where your story is heading. The Mars/Michiru combination totally spiked my interest. :D

 

That's fine! Many of yours and Byron's ideas are interesting to read and can help inspire my own ideas.  

 

But yeah, I don't know but Michiru may become popular with the audiences. I have a design of her, though I'm having a bit difficulty on what colors, hair, etc. However, I was thinking, "This character will reach waifu status if I keep going". Now, if I was able to draw how I envisioned Natsumi and Michiru's designs and looks... (I could but I don't want to  :P )

 

But yeah, I envisioned someone that has clairvoyance/premonitions. Originally, Natsumi was going to have that power but I felt that was a bit too much but as she is tied to the supernatural, I gave her this "sixth sense" intuition. But the seer character (Michiru) was always there from the start because she has the major role on my epic upon discovering the villain's (Taketori) plans.

 

Now speaking of Karin, I can't reveal stuff about her and her connection to Naruto yet. All of that will be revealed in Part 2.


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#57 Derock

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 06:56 PM

You're taking this the 'earth' road, i'm taking this the heaven (spiritual universe) road.

 

Going to this quote, it is interesting that you mentioned that, Chatte. It had me thinking, "Okay, so why did Kaguya came to earth in the first place? What's her objective with the Chakra tree?" Or the questions had already answered in the canon? I'm sorry if I forgot about it because if it was mentioning mumble-jumble with the Uchiha tied to it and trying to bring the Hyuuga relevance at the last minute, I'd probably tuned it out when I was reading it.


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#58 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 07:10 PM

 

Going to this quote, it is interesting that you mentioned that, Chatte. It had me thinking, "Okay, so why did Kaguya came to earth in the first place? What's her objective with the Chakra tree?" Or the questions had already answered in the canon? I'm sorry if I forgot about it because if it was mentioning mumble-jumble with the Uchiha tied to it and trying to bring the Hyuuga relevance at the last minute, I'd probably tuned it out when I was reading it.

 

I dunno about Chatte, but the idea I had was Kaguya and the Otsutsuki clan won't be aliens,. but beings from another dimension (hey, I'm using actual demons in TDW!) and that the Divine Tree is meant to be Earth's source of the energy, as the Otsutsukis had tried to find it in other dimensions as well, but due to the power of Earth's chakra, Kaguya became power hungry and obsessed with consuming it all when it was spread among people by Hagoromo and Hamura's actions, which also in turn led to the birth of the Uchiha and Hyuga in the centuries to come, and the brothers would seal her away when she became one with the Divine Tree and its raw chakra corrupting her into the Ten-Tailed Beast.

 

That's the rough idea I got so far regarding backstory. I also had it that Naruto and Sasuke aren't Ashura and Indra's reincarnations, but they're their descendants. Naruto being more indirect, due to the nature of the Uzumaki clan as I am working on that aspect in my head and to share with my friend and co-creator of TDW, while Sasuke is more direct, and that he'd be, essentially, Madara's great-great grandson, which is why Kurama could sense Madara's maliciousness in him.

 

In a sense, I imagine the Otsutsuki clan, especially Kaguya, in terms of how they work to be like Verse in The King of Fighters XIV, in that they are beings born of many things and possessing a lot of power. I'd imagine if I did use Kaguya as the final enemy that she would have the voices of many dead people speaking through her like Verse does in KOF XIV in his special win quotes vs. Kyo, Iori, K', Shun'ei, Sylvie, Leona, Mature, and Nakoruru but using her own voice really, and that she would view those descended from her sons as "fragments" of herself, like Verse sees Shun'ei as since his power is born from Verse's birth after what Ash had done to stop Saiki in KOF XIII and thus also create a massive time paradox that allowed all that malice and anger to be born into Verse.


Edited by Bryon_Konoha_Ninja, 16 October 2020 - 07:18 PM.


#59 Chatte

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Posted 17 October 2020 - 06:47 AM

 

Going to this quote, it is interesting that you mentioned that, Chatte. It had me thinking, "Okay, so why did Kaguya came to earth in the first place? What's her objective with the Chakra tree?" Or the questions had already answered in the canon? I'm sorry if I forgot about it because if it was mentioning mumble-jumble with the Uchiha tied to it and trying to bring the Hyuuga relevance at the last minute, I'd probably tuned it out when I was reading it.

Haha, no worries. Basically those are some of the things I am answering in my plot as well. :D

 

 

I dunno about Chatte, but the idea I had was Kaguya and the Otsutsuki clan won't be aliens,. but beings from another dimension (hey, I'm using actual demons in TDW!) and that the Divine Tree is meant to be Earth's source of the energy, as the Otsutsukis had tried to find it in other dimensions as well, but due to the power of Earth's chakra, Kaguya became power hungry and obsessed with consuming it all when it was spread among people by Hagoromo and Hamura's actions, which also in turn led to the birth of the Uchiha and Hyuga in the centuries to come, and the brothers would seal her away when she became one with the Divine Tree and its raw chakra corrupting her into the Ten-Tailed Beast.

 

That's the rough idea I got so far regarding backstory. I also had it that Naruto and Sasuke aren't Ashura and Indra's reincarnations, but they're their descendants. Naruto being more indirect, due to the nature of the Uzumaki clan as I am working on that aspect in my head and to share with my friend and co-creator of TDW, while Sasuke is more direct, and that he'd be, essentially, Madara's great-great grandson, which is why Kurama could sense Madara's maliciousness in him.

 

In a sense, I imagine the Otsutsuki clan, especially Kaguya, in terms of how they work to be like Verse in The King of Fighters XIV, in that they are beings born of many things and possessing a lot of power. I'd imagine if I did use Kaguya as the final enemy that she would have the voices of many dead people speaking through her like Verse does in KOF XIV in his special win quotes vs. Kyo, Iori, K', Shun'ei, Sylvie, Leona, Mature, and Nakoruru but using her own voice really, and that she would view those descended from her sons as "fragments" of herself, like Verse sees Shun'ei as since his power is born from Verse's birth after what Ash had done to stop Saiki in KOF XIII and thus also create a massive time paradox that allowed all that malice and anger to be born into Verse.

Without revealing too much I am going to say that in this respect Bryon our stories are very similar.

 

I didn't go the alien path either, but the realms path, because in my story it's all about gods, goddesses and even higher beings as well as humans and the interconectedness between all of them in a way.

I also kinda went the same route with the descendants ways because that's the reason they reincarnate, cuz there's a blood connection at some point. 

 

There's a whole backstory there as well.

 

Heh, it's funny how we all kinda at some point share similar ideas, heheh.


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#60 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 17 October 2020 - 08:26 AM

Without revealing too much I am going to say that in this respect Bryon our stories are very similar.

 

I didn't go the alien path either, but the realms path, because in my story it's all about gods, goddesses and even higher beings as well as humans and the interconectedness between all of them in a way.

I also kinda went the same route with the descendants ways because that's the reason they reincarnate, cuz there's a blood connection at some point. 

 

There's a whole backstory there as well.

 

Heh, it's funny how we all kinda at some point share similar ideas, heheh.

 

Nice, and it is funny we got similar ideas :smile: I guess we're just simpatico! :D

 

But I see the Otsutsukis are basically humans in their universe in The Demon Within, but can live longer and are more powerful in the long run. Which is why some of their gifts had passed to humanity, like the three Great Dojutsu as well as some Kekkei Genkai and Kekkei Touta.






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