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Mine and Ria's Take on The Last


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#1 LuckyChi7

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 04:34 AM

You guys may know this, but I've decided to work with my cousin Ria on an alternative take on The Last based on an idea that I shared with her. I tell you we were talking about it for almost an hour on how we're going to get things set. It'll be on a similar bases of Road to Ninja, not really set in that universe, more so a moral message. Everyone can agree that based on everything we've been getting there is no moral message with The Last, and based on how screenings are going. That definitely speaks a lot when it comes to premiere, but moving that aside I hope you guys will enjoy this script we've come up with. In case anyone is curious there will be 1 scene released every Friday just to keep the creative flow running, and so we've got time for other things outside the Naruto fandom. The only thing Ria and I can say is that we've got the ending for the script, but it's just a matter of how we're gonna get to that ending. I've mentioned it before, but Ria is indeed a NH/SS shipper, but she's not one of those trolls or haters that bash out at the NS fandom. She's a very sensible NaruHina and SasuSaku shipper, and believe me she hates where the series (after 699 and 700) and The Last has taken as much as the rest of us do. 

 

 

 

The first scene is already complete, let us know what you think

 

https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version


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#2 NaruSaku fan in Kentucky

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 04:50 AM

I liked it so far. You made NS early already? I like that.

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#3 trang95

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 05:10 AM

Bravo! Good thing that you got started with it. This BS movie needs to get something else.

I really like the fact that you let Naruto introduce the story, makes things much more interesting when he and not some kind of stranger is narrating it. It'd be nice of course to include some visuals from the past fights for people who haven't seen the movie yet.

When Naruto sees Sakura, maybe Naruto can also shortly talk about Sakura?

For instance, while Naruto talks to her, he could do an inner monologue:" This is Sakura-chan ... blabla ... And now she's my girlfriend!"

Yes, Hinata and Hanabi are actually not only interacting but training together!

 

Can I maybe already ask whether we will find out how Naruto and Sakura got together?


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#4 LuckyChi7

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 06:19 AM

I liked it so far. You made NS early already? I like that.

 

Tell you the truth, Ria was one that came up with the idea considering this takes place two years after the Naruto VS Sasuke fight. Considering that much time passed by she told me it would make sense for them to already be in a relationship in the beginning as  oppose to hey two years have passed by and they still haven't become a dating couple. Ria thought it would be almost similar to what's going on with The Last (real one) with Naruto and Hinata who didn't make a move on one another until the movie. So then we both thought let's just have Naruto and Sakura already be in a relationship. 

 

 

 

Bravo! Good thing that you got started with it. This BS movie needs to get something else.

I really like the fact that you let Naruto introduce the story, makes things much more interesting when he and not some kind of stranger is narrating it. It'd be nice of course to include some visuals from the past fights for people who haven't seen the movie yet.

When Naruto sees Sakura, maybe Naruto can also shortly talk about Sakura?

For instance, while Naruto talks to her, he could do an inner monologue:" This is Sakura-chan ... blabla ... And now she's my girlfriend!"

Yes, Hinata and Hanabi are actually not only interacting but training together!

 

Can I maybe already ask whether we will find out how Naruto and Sakura got together?

 

Haha I tell you it was a back and forth process of three hours when it came to this scene alone. We were both trying to figure out if this was an actual movie how would it open up. Ultimately we thought it would be cool to introduce this with Naruto's introduction something we kinda picked up after re-watching Road to Ninja together. A first time watch for Ria might I add, and she loved it. 

 

When it came to Naruto having an inner monologue about Sakura being his girlfriend it was actually something Ria wanted to throw in, but I thought it would be best if use the show don't tell method. So I gave her free liberty to show that Sakura's his girlfriend, and she just threw through in the line "I've always been there ..." and stuff. That I thought was actually fine so we decided to leave it at that.  

 

We both knew somehow this scene was gonna end with Hinata and Hanabi, but it was just matter of how it was going to happen. Ria came up with the idea of having them interacting and I came up with the idea of them training together. That's when we decided to merge the two ideas together and end the scene the way it did. 

 

 

As far your question goes about how Naruto and Sakura got together, yes there will be an explanation. Ria and I are currently thinking about how that's going to be introduced in the script.  


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#5 NaruSaku fan in Kentucky

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Posted 06 December 2014 - 06:22 AM

Can't wait till next chapter. I wonder if you're gonna make Naruto struggle to propose to Sakura cause I can see him doing that.

Edited by NaruSaku fan in Kentucky, 06 December 2014 - 06:22 AM.

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#6 LuckyChi7

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Posted 08 December 2014 - 06:06 PM

Just to give you guys an update about the script, we stated how there will be a new scene come out every Friday. However, This week will be an exception. Ria and I were talking it over last night and we decided to release scene 2 on Thursday instead because Finals are coming up next week, and all of our attention needs be there. Keep in mind, this will only be an exception for this week, the scenes will continue it's normal weekly friday releases with Scene 3 on Friday, December 19th. 


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#7 trang95

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Posted 09 December 2014 - 03:09 AM

Just to give you guys an update about the script, we stated how there will be a new scene come out every Friday. However, This week will be an exception. Ria and I were talking it over last night and we decided to release scene 2 on Thursday instead because Finals are coming up next week, and all of our attention needs be there. Keep in mind, this will only be an exception for this week, the scenes will continue it's normal weekly friday releases with Scene 3 on Friday, December 19th. 

Even better ^^ Looking forward to it.


Edited by trang95, 09 December 2014 - 03:10 AM.

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“The country? The skies? You can have them! I'm busy enough protecting what's in front of me. I don't know how many times I failed to protect what I wanted. I have nothing left, so at least if something has fallen at my feet, I'll pick it up."
- Sakata Gintoki, Gintama

 


#8 LuckyChi7

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Posted 11 December 2014 - 09:00 AM

I know you guys have been waiting patiently (hopefully :sweat: ), 

and here is the new scene/chapter to the script:

 

https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version


Edited by LuckyChi7, 11 December 2014 - 09:01 AM.

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#9 trang95

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Posted 11 December 2014 - 10:57 AM

I know you guys have been waiting patiently (hopefully :sweat: ), 

and here is the new scene/chapter to the script:

 

https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

lol, didn't think you would upload it at this kind of time.

Now honestly, I have zero knowledge about the Hyuga's techniques, so I'll just talk about the characters themselves.

Hiashi: It's a good idea to bring in early on the tension that exists b/w Hinata and her father to remind the audience once again that Hinata has yet to convince him that she is strong enough to become a sucessor. Maybe you could describe Hanabi's reaction though when Hiashi mentions her sister to possible become the successor. The anime episodes 389/390 gave me the impression that she really wished to become the sucessor from the bottom of her heart. It would be weird not to see some kind of nervosity or displeasure reflected in Hanabi's face towards Hiashi's explanations. You gave Hinata her moment after all when Hiashi talked with Hanabi.

HanabiXHinata: I like how they talk and communicate with each other through their facial mimic ^_^ one question though:" I was wondering. Did you want to spent time with me." You probably did a mistake with the tense. Yes, I am a stickler ;)


Edited by trang95, 11 December 2014 - 10:58 AM.

G . I . N . T . A . M .A

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“The country? The skies? You can have them! I'm busy enough protecting what's in front of me. I don't know how many times I failed to protect what I wanted. I have nothing left, so at least if something has fallen at my feet, I'll pick it up."
- Sakata Gintoki, Gintama

 


#10 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 11 December 2014 - 04:51 PM

I was thinking about this, and I am very curious to see what else you do for everyone, Lucky Chi, you and your cousin :)



#11 LuckyChi7

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Posted 19 December 2014 - 07:31 PM

Well guys I'm back with the next scene, I know it felt like a long wait, but here it is: 

 

https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

 

 

 

 

@Bryon 

 

Oh don't worry you'll be in for a surprise for what we've got planned for this script. 

 

@trang

Whoops thanks for noticing, I didn't realize that till after I checked back on the script. Usually Ria and I would double check, but we were both pretty exhausted that night so we kinda skipped over some of the grammer. It was one of those nights  :sweat:


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#12 NaruSaku fan in Kentucky

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Posted 19 December 2014 - 07:39 PM

Nice chapter dude. Can't wait till next chapter.

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#13 trang95

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Posted 21 December 2014 - 02:52 PM

I like the newest chapter, but I gotta say, I was surprised when you let Naruto decide to fight against Hinata. Looking forward to the next chapter ^_^


G . I . N . T . A . M .A

tumblr_nd8f3hq6MN1qawpjto1_r2_500.gif

 
“The country? The skies? You can have them! I'm busy enough protecting what's in front of me. I don't know how many times I failed to protect what I wanted. I have nothing left, so at least if something has fallen at my feet, I'll pick it up."
- Sakata Gintoki, Gintama

 


#14 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 21 December 2014 - 04:28 PM

@Bryon 

 

Oh don't worry you'll be in for a surprise for what we've got planned for this script. 

 

Somehow I can believe it thus far. :D



#15 LuckyChi7

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 01:51 AM

So as you guys know Christmas is coming up, and Ria and I were talking about this for about 20 minutes. We've got a special surprise in store for you guys on Thursday, instead of one chapter (scene) of the script you guys are gonna get two chapters (scenes) to the script. Which means Scenes 4 and 5 will both come out on Christmas.  


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#16 NaruSaku fan in Kentucky

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 01:59 AM

So as you guys know Christmas is coming up, and Ria and I were talking about this for about 20 minutes. We've got a special surprise in store for you guys on Thursday, instead of one chapter (scene) of the script you guys are gonna get two chapters (scenes) to the script. Which means Scenes 4 and 5 will both come out on Christmas.  

What a Christmas gift. Question, is Naruto thinking about proposing to Sakura soon?

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#17 trang95

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 02:40 AM

So as you guys know Christmas is coming up, and Ria and I were talking about this for about 20 minutes. We've got a special surprise in store for you guys on Thursday, instead of one chapter (scene) of the script you guys are gonna get two chapters (scenes) to the script. Which means Scenes 4 and 5 will both come out on Christmas.  

That's some good news :D


G . I . N . T . A . M .A

tumblr_nd8f3hq6MN1qawpjto1_r2_500.gif

 
“The country? The skies? You can have them! I'm busy enough protecting what's in front of me. I don't know how many times I failed to protect what I wanted. I have nothing left, so at least if something has fallen at my feet, I'll pick it up."
- Sakata Gintoki, Gintama

 


#18 LuckyChi7

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Posted 26 December 2014 - 05:49 AM

Hey guys sorry for the delay for the two awaited scenes, truth is Ria and I had to convert the first 3 scenes as well as four and five to a narrative story telling as a few people who were kinda butthurt about violating regulations for writing this in script format when it came to the review section. Which is why we decided to write them like a narrative, but also have that script sense at the same time. So if the grammar seems off in the narrative format just know it's because Ria and I are giving this the sense of a script because that's how we originally set it out to be. So you might have to re-read scenes 1-3 before reading scenes 4 & 5.  

 

Here are the links to Scene 4 & 5: 

 

Scene 4: https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

 

Scene 5: https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

 

I hope you guys all have/had a wonderful Merry Christmas  :happy: 


Edited by LuckyChi7, 26 December 2014 - 05:51 AM.

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#19 Bryon_Konoha_Ninja

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Posted 26 December 2014 - 05:02 PM

Hey guys sorry for the delay for the two awaited scenes, truth is Ria and I had to convert the first 3 scenes as well as four and five to a narrative story telling as a few people who were kinda butthurt about violating regulations for writing this in script format when it came to the review section. Which is why we decided to write them like a narrative, but also have that script sense at the same time. So if the grammar seems off in the narrative format just know it's because Ria and I are giving this the sense of a script because that's how we originally set it out to be. So you might have to re-read scenes 1-3 before reading scenes 4 & 5.  

 

Here are the links to Scene 4 & 5: 

 

Scene 4: https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

 

Scene 5: https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

 

I hope you guys all have/had a wonderful Merry Christmas  :happy: 

 

We sure will, Chi, and I hope you and Ria will continue to wow us with this! :D



#20 trang95

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Posted 26 December 2014 - 10:52 PM

Hey guys sorry for the delay for the two awaited scenes, truth is Ria and I had to convert the first 3 scenes as well as four and five to a narrative story telling as a few people who were kinda butthurt about violating regulations for writing this in script format when it came to the review section. Which is why we decided to write them like a narrative, but also have that script sense at the same time. So if the grammar seems off in the narrative format just know it's because Ria and I are giving this the sense of a script because that's how we originally set it out to be. So you might have to re-read scenes 1-3 before reading scenes 4 & 5.  

 

Here are the links to Scene 4 & 5: 

 

Scene 4: https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

 

Scene 5: https://www.fanficti...vie-Our-Version

 

I hope you guys all have/had a wonderful Merry Christmas  :happy: 

I liked the chapters. I don't really have anything to complain (although I felt like punching Hiashi in the face a few times, lol).

I kind of didn't understand what the problem was with the previous format tbh.


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“The country? The skies? You can have them! I'm busy enough protecting what's in front of me. I don't know how many times I failed to protect what I wanted. I have nothing left, so at least if something has fallen at my feet, I'll pick it up."
- Sakata Gintoki, Gintama

 





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