This is a slight necropost; for that, I apologize.
As a rule, I keep every review I receive, good or bad, but I do
advertise that I lampoon flames. (And I do--mercilessly, even, though on boards, never in A/N). After the first thousand or so reviews, I think you start to get a little jaded. I categorize them into four basic types and I welcome all of them:
1) Flames. Oh joy! Someone cared enough to send me a bag of dog poo in the mail. At least someone cares. *sniff*
2) Questions. "How is so and so going to deal with this?" "Why is so and so acting strange all of a sudden?" "Why is it that so and so is here, when three chapters ago, you wrote that she left for a four-month cruise?" Um, oops? Particularly with a multi-chapter piece, they give me a gauge of how readers are responding to what I'm trying to do.
3) "Great job, write more." "Update soon." "Go on." "Don't stop." It's a ping, letting me know that a reader is there. These kinds of reviews make me want to continue writing. (And face it, they do pad your review count. We all peek at the number of reviews before we start to read a story; a 20-chapter 100k word story with 1000 reviews has a better chance of being good than an equivalent story with 12 reviews).
4) The rare review from a reader who cares enough to analyze your story in depth and offer serious, constructive criticism. Even when blunt, these are the kinds of reviews that make you want to become a better writer. Here's an example of one for one of my Harry Potter stories that I found particularly good:
I suppose you've earned a review by now and a few times over. And you seem to be able to sort out the pointless discouraging flames from the poorly worded attempts at helpful criticism, so bear with me. I mean no harm.
There were so many excellent ideas in here, in particular the runescriving and the sort of character you've made Dumbledore into. The potential for true greatness is there. But this is so far from the kind of story I'd ever want to read again.
I think too many angst writers get hung up on torturing the hero that they take things for granted. Quite simply, for a lot of this story I could not even begin to understand why Harry was any part of this. Especially knowing no good would come from it.
Being a wizard, going to Hogwarts, having anything useful or worthwhile? With this much kitten piling on, I'd have packed my bags and left a long time ago. It's like someone offering you a hundred thousand dollars to stand in a room and not leave for two weeks. First they fill it with a layer of kitten up to your knees. Then toxic refuse that burns your skin. Next comes flesh-eating beetles. Then it's the blood of your raped and murdered mother. Then the awful people that picked on you in childhood get to stand over you and piss on your head.
And quite frankly, I just don't see the point. To me, logic dictated a long ass time ago, that it wasn't worth staying. The parts of the magical world that held wonder and amazement and promise have all been sullied and ruined your interpretation of canon. The so-called friends are not treating you friendly. The voices of authority are offering no encouraging words, only trying to prepare you for more of this.
Fleur's character held no warmth or interest for me at all. I suppose it should be noted though that anytime I encounter the rape of a protagonist in a fic, I almost always stop reading. It's just an awful concept that the majority of authors cannot comprehend. I stop watching porn when there's unexpected bloody visceral gay male sex, and I stop reading fanfic when there's rape used as any sort of plot device. It's an interest-killer for me.
But I saw how discouraged you were in DLP threads and decided to go ahead and read the rest.
As I said though, this wizarding world isn't worth saving in my eyes. These people should be free to save themselves, but if I were Harry, I would have left the country even if it meant losing magic. And with as inhuman as you made Fleur, I found the idea of Harry leaving her exceeding easy.
I don't care for fluff, but it might have helped. I just don't see Fleur and her love as any sort of help or solution for Harry. And in point of fact, she exacerbates the problem immensely. She was to me, at no point in this fic, likable. I could sympathize with her, pity her, feel grateful for her help, but I never liked her. She stayed at a distance. And with as many problems and complications a relationship between Fleur and Harry would be, I just can't see it working.
With as tortured as Harry is (and killing Sirius offscreen was just twisting the knife for the sake of twisting), having to deal with the politics, the blood-lines and all that being an apprentice to Dumbledore requires... It sounds awful. If Fleur wanted to escape it all too, to abandon her abusive violent father, to leave behind her oppressive and closed-minded mother, that I can understand. But we see nothing other than Fleur passively accepting her station in life as an object of her fathers to be bartered with.
That's the root of the problem. There is nowhere near enough good to offset the bad. I'd rather see Harry die at Voldemort's hand, then beat him and live in this world you've created.
But the way Harry basically accepts things as they are, I'm left with no characters I like. Dumbledore as a master of manipulation is a very intriguing character. And he'd make an interesting opponent and ally, but all there are here are ugly shades of gray and a Harry I shake my head at more than empathize with. And no reason to fight for what Harry (or the readers) believe is right. Instead of a triumph over adversity you're left with enduring never-ending torture.
And that's why I rarely read angst (of which your fic was dripping with).
If you want to compare to jbern, he's got that same kind of realism and shades of gray, but there's also sarcasm, wit, likable characters and good guys helping the story's protagonist. You managed to make even the "good guys" like Sirius, Remus, the twins, seem like friendly acquaintances that I won't miss much when they're gone.
But even jbern's stuff is too angsty for me to read in sporadic updates. I wait until they're finished usually, so that I know there's a light at the end of this agonizing and dark tunnel.
You have created some fascinating characters, interesting situations, and unique takes on magic. Just no events that I read and smile, and no characters I'd root for. It's only because those parts are so good, that the lack of enjoyment in reading in the story stands out. Because it is all there, the potential for greatness. Just maybe try and put a little more 'good' in there to offset the gut-wrenching despair and frustration of the 'bad'.
And definitely pat yourself on the back for coming up with an idea, writing the story, and seeing it off all the way to its conclusion. This isn't the most satisfying of conclusions as it's a storyline basically begging for continuation, but your plan was to write about Harry's fourth year, apprenticeship, the Triwizard Tournament, and rebirth of Voldemort. And to that end, you've completed it. Take a bow. It's an extremely rare thing to find and I appreciate it.
It's also good to see you recognizing your limitations and that you plan to write out almost the entirety of the story before posting it. Whether posting and writing it as you go is truly beyond you, I'm not so sure. As long as you keep your eyes on where you're going and what you're doing, sometimes getting a little feedback as you go, can inspire you to write more and faster. It's the authors who don't know where they are going that end up getting stuck.
I look forward to more from you, whether you continue this storyline or not. I think you've probably learned a lot about writing fanfic from the WBA sections of DLP, and how people have responded to your story. If you want a vote, I'd prefer to see what other sort of world you can create rather than furthering the storyline in this one. But it's up to you.
Congrats again and thanks for writing, posting, and sharing.
I wouldn't trade it for a thousand "Good job" reviews. (That it was written by one of the most accomplished writers in the fandom didn't make the pill any easier to swallow, but I sure as heck wanted to improve after reading this).
About the only kind of review I really prefer not to receive is the anonymous reviewer who asks questions. *Thwap* I just want to whack them with the cluebat.
Edited by Kunai Poetry, 04 March 2009 - 05:38 PM.
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