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I'm embarrassed about my fanfic. *_*


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#1 Exact

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 02:56 PM

I wrote a short fanfiction; Sakura's POV (chapter 1) and then Naruto's POV (chapter 2). 

 

It's short, but it's very angsty (at least I think it is) and rated M due to touchy subjects (rape).

 

I wrote it because I wanted to see how far I could go (how much feeling I could write in a story).

 

So I'm embarrassed to ask, but if anyone likes to read angst/rated M/touchy subjected stories, could you please read mine and perhaps tell me what you think? What I could do differently? What I could add to it?

 

 

A couple comments for my fanfic think I went a little too far, lol... but isn't that what makes a good story? when it can make someone feel uncomfortable and upset?

 

Should I delete it? or work on it?

 

Please read under your own discretion. 

 

Here's the link: https://www.fanficti...e-Land-of-Irony

 

Thanks :)

 

 


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#2 Konohakitten

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 04:58 PM

I don't see why you'd be embarrassed or even think of deleting your story. I read it, and I loved it. I didn't think it was going to far, believe me I have read things that have gone, way, too, far. It was well written and I couldn't stop reading. If I were you I would work with it and add on to it because personally I wanted more. I was upset that wasn't another chapter, lol. You should have seen my face when I read the end, I was like....no it can't end like this! So yeah don't be embarrassed, be proud. It had a wide range of feelings and you succeed at making a great story.


Edited by Konohakitten, 03 June 2014 - 04:59 PM.

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#3 Liu bie

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 05:21 PM

I think you just did the after from a Naruto doujin +18 call  Inniku Koushin.


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#4 Exact

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 05:26 PM

I think you just did the after from a Naruto doujin +18 call  Inniku Koushin.

Huh? Please don't tell me my story was already done before? 

 

Do you have a link?

 

EDIT: lol... Silly me googled it... gosh, that's pretty...uhhh detailed... 

 

I don't know what to say. 


Edited by Exact, 03 June 2014 - 05:30 PM.

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#5 Exact

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 05:28 PM

I don't see why you'd be embarrassed or even think of deleting your story. I read it, and I loved it. I didn't think it was going to far, believe me I have read things that have gone, way, too, far. It was well written and I couldn't stop reading. If I were you I would work with it and add on to it because personally I wanted more. I was upset that wasn't another chapter, lol. You should have seen my face when I read the end, I was like....no it can't end like this! So yeah don't be embarrassed, be proud. It had a wide range of feelings and you succeed at making a great story.

Thanks!

 

I'm coming up with ideas to either continue the story or make them longer. 

 

Some of my ideas seem to connect with what I already wrote/doesn't contradict anything, etc. 

 

And I really appreciate you reading it and taking the time to reply with your kind words! 


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#6 Helena

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 05:38 PM

Hi Exact!

 

A couple comments for my fanfic think I went a little too far, lol... but isn't that what makes a good story? when it can make someone feel uncomfortable and upset?

 

That's exactly what I think too. When people get uncomfortable reading your stories is because you are doing a great job writing it. So you shouldn't feel disappointed about it. 

 

I say go for it and improve your skills :)

 

PS: I haven't read your fic yet because I'm at work now, lol. :)


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Can't wait!


#7 BakeNeko-Chan

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 05:59 PM

I wrote a short fanfiction; Sakura's POV (chapter 1) and then Naruto's POV (chapter 2). 

 

It's short, but it's very angsty (at least I think it is) and rated M due to touchy subjects (rape).

 

I wrote it because I wanted to see how far I could go (how much feeling I could write in a story).

 

So I'm embarrassed to ask, but if anyone likes to read angst/rated M/touchy subjected stories, could you please read mine and perhaps tell me what you think? What I could do differently? What I could add to it?

 

 

A couple comments for my fanfic think I went a little too far, lol... but isn't that what makes a good story? when it can make someone feel uncomfortable and upset?

 

Should I delete it? or work on it?

 

Please read under your own discretion. 

 

Here's the link: https://www.fanficti...e-Land-of-Irony

 

Thanks :)

 

 

 

I have not read your fic, but I'll try to give some advice as best I can. 

 

I think the only one who can decide if you've gone "too far" is yourself. When dealing with touchy subjects (like rape) people are prone to extreme reactions. However if they've been thoroughly warned about the subject matter and read anyway, I don't think they have any right to really complain -- they chose to read, knowing what the story contained and in that case it's really on them. Writers can't please everyone and we have to take the criticism with the praise. But, you also have to enter into writing about these more sensitive topics with an awareness of possible reader reactions and keep that in mind when deciding how to approach it.

 

For example, a fic I'm currently working on for the series Soul Eater, deals with the topic of adultery. In that series the main character's father cheats on her mother and this leads to divorce and has a strong effect in shaping the main character's view of men in general and leaves her resentful of her father. While the subject in never delved into too deeply in the manga, I found it very relatable on a personal level and decided to explore it in a fic, partially as a cathartic exercise. Since I'm writing from the main character's perspective as a young child, I've tried to keep in mind the way the situation would appear through her eyes, and at the same time not making her father out to be the "bad guy", but a flawed human being.

 

It's not the same topic, but both are 'touchy' ones to tackle. Rape in particular is a tough one. I can't tell you how many times I've come across fics that promote rape as an okay thing and it's no surprise with the way modern culture as become so passive to the idea of rape that to many it doesn't seem like a big deal. It should never be made out to be okay or acceptable, and those that do are the ones taking it "too far" (I'm not saying that's what you did; like I said, I haven't read it.) But it is possible that maybe the readers who felt you'd gone too far felt that maybe you had not dealt with the subject matter respectfully enough? I'm only guessing. :sweat:

 

One of my favorite novels -- which deals with the subject of rape and depression -- is Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson. When I read this book for the first time in my teens, it had a profound effect on me in shaping my outlook on the world, in a very positive and eye-opening way. But many still criticize the book as "child pornography and promoting rape". It does no such thing, but instead shows the very real and devastating effects rape has on the victim.

 

The thing to keep in mind, I think, is that rape is a very real, very horrible crime that isn't about sex, but power. It objectifies the victim and it's not something they heal from emotionally very easily. Try to make sure you are treating the subject matter with the respect and seriousness it deserves, and I think you'll do just fine. :smile:



#8 narusaku256

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 06:18 PM

It hurt right here or rather it pierced right here.....that's all I'll say. Good job with writing. Though I do wish things should have been a bit different, but yes it did manage to hit the right place.

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#9 questdrivencollie

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 06:44 PM

I thought it was well done and see no reason to take it down. 


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#10 Liu bie

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 07:39 PM

Huh? Please don't tell me my story was already done before? 

 

Do you have a link?

 

EDIT: lol... Silly me googled it... gosh, that's pretty...uhhh detailed... 

 

I don't know what to say. 

Hehehe... That is why could not give you the link becuse is very detailed. When read your fanfic I remembered that  your story shows what happen after Sasuke raped Sakura in that doujin.  . Even I do not like too much the tragedy, I enjoyed your story and don't be embarrassed, this one more story to encourage me  to make my first  fanfic one day I hope.


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#11 Iwantbuns

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 08:47 PM

Haha.. I love fanfiction like this xD Angst is the best, in my opinion. Some people might not like that kind of stuff, but don't let other people's opinion bother you. If YOU are satisfied with what you wrote, than that's all that you need. Sure you could use some improvement here and there, but it's freaking fanfiction. You can write whatever the heck you want.

 

And plus, the fanfic was actually genuinely pleasing to read. So you should totally continue it :) Unless you don't want to. It's your choice ^^'


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Why do people NOT ship these two? I just don't get it.

Probably cause they hate Sakura. When she's probably the most developed female character in the whole show.

I respect Hinata, but Sakura deserves some too.


#12 questdrivencollie

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 01:29 AM

There are things I like and don't like about angst, but I do definitely find fics dealing with dark themes and situations interesting and a good read. And I prefer happy endings, but at this point I'm more or less used to not-so-happy endings. Character deaths in fanfictions used to tear me up emotionally, but now it's not such a big deal, although it still is sad to me.


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#13 nikki1314

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 05:33 AM

That Was Really Good, I've seen far more worst :D


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Kishi: Honey, I’m home! 

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#14 sakuraharunorealfan

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Posted 08 August 2014 - 03:27 AM

theres nothing 2 be embarrased about 


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#15 dylanrivers10000

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 05:33 AM

only thing that is wrong is the chidori ending


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#16 dylanrivers10000

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Posted 11 August 2014 - 02:58 AM

Why do I have the last word/comment

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#17 Nate River

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Posted 11 August 2014 - 04:13 AM

I agree with others, you shouldn't be embarrassed or remove it. You don't improve if you don't write or have the courage to let others read it.

That said Sexual Assault has a rather infamous history in fanfiction, so it's definitely be judicious in it's use. It's bad reputation is because of it's attachment to "Knight in Shinning Armor" stories (with disfavored members of a love triangle being the offender and, thus, eliminating the competition) and as a tool to enhance drama.

Personally, speaking I didn't like it's use here because I can't see Sasuke doing it. Sasuke is a terrible person, but his violence is a means to an end. He's never gone out of his way to physically harmed someone just because he could, especially not that way. Even Karin, he stabbed her because she was in the way and he didn't value her enough to care that she got struck too. I think if he wanted to use Sakura to jerk Naruto around he'd have just killed her or stabbed her. If you want to use something like this, it must be believable for your character to do it.

The other things that struck out to me: I thought you were a little too liberal with the f-bomb and be careful about certain descriptors. The way you used "fake" confession came across as a fandom description rather than a word Naruto would himself use to describe it.

It didn't work for me, but you shouldn't get discourage. Always keep writing.




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