20 replies to this topic

[crazyefra]

Well, hello I'm here to get your thoughts on this to be my future fic. Tell me if I should continue or not.

The story --Click here to view--

It was said that the world would end but not this way. These things are not human, after all no one dies and gets back up but this happened and right now I’m the only one still alive. It was supposed to be a routine experiment just like the other ones but this time the corpse given to us by Orochimaru himself was very much alive. This thing was disgusting, it had spikes starting to grow from his back, it didn’t even have the pale color of a corpse instead it had a crimson red color all over the body like blood. This thing was bigger than any of us, almost reaching the roof of the lab and the only thing that was keeping this monster from eating us were the chains wrapped around its neck, wrists, and legs. We started to gather some blood samples, gathered some information on its weight and bone density. What happened next was just out of a horror… Oh my god they found me, please whoever finds this, make sure the world knows of this before it’s too…(static)
xxooxxx
Whirlpool country. October 10, 2012 (two hours after the outbreak).
Pain, that was the only thing going through Naruto Uzumaki’s mind. For you see today, even thought is his birthday, his life has changed from good to bad to worse. It all started after his dinner with his parents and girlfriend turned fiancée. The four were just going through the parking lot to their cars. During their walk they found themselves staring at a man, who had his back against them, with blood coming from his arm. Naruto’s father, Minato got close to the man
“Sir, are you okay?” asked Minato
The man didn’t respond, just stood staring at nothing. Minato looked at the others and saw their shocked faces. He turned around a little too late to see the man bite down Minato’s wrist.
“Dad!” said naruto as he pushed the man of off him...

I know its still incomplete and short but should I continue it this way or should I start it in some other way. Just give some advice.

Edited by crazyefra, 11 March 2010 - 12:10 AM.

[ShippudenGirl]

OH my gosh! I just saw Zombieland and this reminds me of it xD hehe... I can only guess that the fiancé is Sakura. I think it's good, you should continue, I'm curious!

[Cupcake-chan]

It's pretty good. Just remember to capitalize names and beginnings of sentences, and watch your commas. Excessive commas can make your viewers stop reading and no commas at all would turn your sentences into a run-on mess. But overall the plot is interesting. I can say that I haven't read any Naruto fandom concerning zombies.
I wonder who's Naruto's fiance...

[crazyefra]

Well thanks, but I'm sorry the fiancee it's not Sakura. She's going to appear but she won't meet Naruto until part 2 of the fic. Part 1 would show Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke's story on how they survived the outbreak. Part 2 is still forming in my mind.

Edited by crazyefra, 07 March 2010 - 07:51 PM.

[Gravenimage]

Efra this story is awesome so far I hope you start writing it.

[crazyefra]

Something else, is this a good title: Chronicles of the dead?

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[Gravenimage]

Something else, is this a good title: Chronicles of the dead?

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Chronicles of the dead sounds cliche, what about the beginning of the end?

Edited by Gravenimage, 07 March 2010 - 08:15 PM.

[crazyefra]

hmm.... I decide later.
For more info check my ff.net profile

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Edited by crazyefra, 07 March 2010 - 08:22 PM.

[ShippudenGirl]

It's not Sakura?! Rawr! xD

[crazyefra]

The fiancee is *cough*Shion*cough* but only in chapter one

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[ShippudenGirl]

The fiancee is *cough*Shion*cough* but only in chapter one

WHAT ThE F-k?! Not the blond one Kill me... XD No, I kidding, i'll still read it ^^
What you mean one chapter, boy? >.> Hurry! I wanna read.

Edited by ShippudenGirl, 07 March 2010 - 11:17 PM.

[crazyefra]

I'll try to upload it this week. If it's not uploaded slap me silly. Okay

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[ShippudenGirl]

I'll try to upload it this week. If it's not uploaded slap me silly. Okay

I will happily pimp slap and drop-kick you :] xD

[Muffins?]

Looks great I'm always craving anything with zombies and what cupcake said!

[Cupcake-chan]

Yes, what I said.

[ShippudenGirl]

For a Title how 'bout "Attack of the Zombies; badass blonde"

[crazyefra]

I have a new title for my story, To Live or Die. What do you guys think?

[crazyefra]

LoL, Even though the story is serious there would be some funny stuff just not in chapter one.