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#1 gamerman_007

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Posted 12 November 2006 - 01:25 AM

So, I'm writing this fic see, and I need help see? So help me.

Here it is(Rated M for obvious reasons):


-Master Bedroom-

Haruno Sakura was sore. Very sore.

"Damn pervert" she muttered while glaring daggers at said pervert, who was still sleeping, with a grin on his face.

"You damn perverted bastard."

What was the cause of her foul mood you wonder? While watching a hardcore porno together, Naruto, that blond idiot, got an idea:

'Why don't I gang-bang Sakura-chan?'

He would never ever share his wife with any other man, so how he did he screw her from all sides to the moon? Kage Bunshin.While it seemed highly erotic while under the influence of super horniness, the pain came around soon enough and took her in the ass.

Literally.

Her ass hurt.

A Lot.

No surprise on her part (being a medical ninja and all) that the ass can only be stretched so far to accommodate multiple guests. Same with her other two orifices that Naruto had his way with.

"Well no use complaining, gotta get up and get to the hospital..."

She paused for a second.

"...I need a f***ing vacation" she grumbled silently as she climbed off the soft, red silky sheets. Naruto didn't like silk, he said it was too weird feeling. Like the cat they now had, Sakura was able to make him see her way. And so he allowed the sheets, under the premise that it made the "act" feel even more awesome. Sakura grabbed her toothbrush and began her morning ritual. A ritual that hasn't changed (much) since she started the academy. After completing all her morning necessities, she attempted to get the sleeping fox man up. It was no use, the Rokudaime would never get up till past ten. But she never stopped trying. She left the room to wake up her kids.

Wait a minute...

...She wasn't a f***ing alarm clock!



-In a bedroom-

Beep beep

“Groan”

Beep beep

“Damn machine……”

Beep beep bee-

SMASH!

“ZzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz………”


-30 Minutes Later-

“GET UP! YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!” shrieked Sakura.

"30 more minutes...plea...yawn..ze...zzzzzzzzzzzz", the figure on the bed pleaded, then went back to sleep land.

"Your worse then your father." The older woman sighed, grabbed both ends of the bed sheets and ripped them right off the the bed.

"The coldness, it attacks me so, so cold...so col-"

"Get up already, and quite your whining, you're not gonna be late for the academy on my watch." The pink-haired lady eyed the remains of the decimated alarm clock, she sighed again,

"And when you come back home, buy a new alarm clock, perferably a reinforced steel one, kay?"

"Yes mom". 'Do those even exist?' he wondered sleepily.

"Good boy", and with that, she walked out of the room, trying to find better ways to wake up everyone...that didn't involve her fists...or pain in any form. She was trying to cut back on the use of violence, having once scared Naruto absolutely s*** less. Though he didn't s*** himself, he would have, had he been less afraid.


Her terror had stopped all his bowel movements.



-In the bathroom-


The young boy who just had awaken previously, slumped/crawled/locomated like a snail to his bathroom. He so damn sleepy...so damn tired.He looked out the window with his groggy eyes, and noticed the sun had just come out.

"What the hell?" He checked the time the clock that hung in his personal bathroom.

It was six...

...what the f***...

'No human being should be awake at this time!' the young boy mentally ranted. But then again was his mom human? She seemed nice and all, but sometimes he had to agree when his father said she must be a demon.


"Screw the bijuu, if the Akatsuki ever got hold of a pissed-off Sakura, the world would be doomed" he once said. It garnered a couple of chuckles till Sakura caught wind of it. Thank Kami-sama that the blond man could heal so fast or Konoha would have to elect another Hokage. And as much as he liked to think, they weren't gonna get his teeth brushed, or his body showered. So he silenced his mind and proceeded to do what needed to be done.


With that he proceeded to let his mind wander. It soon rested on the object of his (trying, but failing to deny) affections, Bibishii Munachi. She was the hottest girl in the whole class, but that wasn't why he liked her. There was something about her.........he just didn't know what. Something that drew him to her. It could be her fairly large breasts. He emitted a perverted giggle, fantasizing on what he would do to those oh-so-delicious breasts. He quickly shook his head, clearing out all perverted thoughts.

"I am not a pervert, I am not a pervert." He repeated this mantra to himself, until he felt it was ingrained in his mind enough. Then he repeated it again, just in case. That's what separated him from the other boys, especially Inuzuka Teiru, Kiba-ojisan's and Hinata-bachan's kid. Teiru-hentai was obviously the class pervert, he was more perverted then Jiraiaya was at his age. So it was no surprise when he got a lot of bruises on his face and between his legs, and that Ero-ojiijii was his hero.


He wondered whether or not Teiru would ever pro-create, since no man's balls could possibly survive all that abuse.


But even more perverted then Teiru (is that even possible?) was his little brother, Toushi. But because he was young and adorable, he got away with it. Easily. What he did was jump on their chest(he liked 'em big), the fondle their jugs. The ladies would just gush at how adorable he was.



That bastard.

That lucky bastard.



Well, he was done with his shower. He dried his long pink hair with the white towel on the rack. It kinda sucked that he was born with pink hair, out of all of the colors of the rainbow. It was as pink as his mother's, and it surprised him not when all the older kids called him a girl. Once he even got asked out by a village boy. Did he look that girly? Then again, Mom did say that he looked quite bishie. Add that with pink hair, and we've got ourselves some gender confusion. He looked at himself. He was kinda skinny and in the right clothes, he would fool even the most observant man.

Glossary:
Bibishii Munachi - Beautiful breasts -cheesy grin-
Teiru - Tail
Ero-ojiijii - Old pervert man
Toushi - Fighter


I need criticism/advice/etc. And it's not done yet. So far my longest work.


Bunny: Sasuke, join me.
Sasuke: What will I receive if I join you?
Bunny: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!
Sasuke: Sweet! what do I do?
Orochimaru: Sssssssssssssaaaaaaasssssssssukkkkkkeeeeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnn!
Sasuke: oh f***

Sono nantomo ienai sekushii na oshiri wo ore no kokan ni okittensukete rizumu ni awasete kosurinasai = Back that ass up. :D

#2 narusakulover2468

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Posted 12 November 2006 - 01:52 AM

I'll help ya but if ya could put a OC of mine in there. Equvalient exchange ,ne? biggrin.gif


Name: Takeshi Akira (last name first)

Age: 12

Weight: 86 (ehh she doesn't eat much)

Eye Color: black

Hair: White (pure white) with black tips

Rank: Genin

Clothing: A black tee-shirt hoodie over a red long sleeved shirt with fishnet at the end of the shirt. Black pants. Awesome body.

Speciality: Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and Intellegence (stragy)

Weakness: Genjutsu and Cinamon rolls (don't ask)

Personality: Very strict like Tsunade-sama but is VERY protective of her loved ones.

Clan: Takeshi

Bloodline: The Stare Of Death- The person who has this bloodline can see the chakra network like the Hyuga's but if you look into their eyes when they are white you can go insane. Instead of using their hands like the Hyuga's she uses kunais so they implode. Hasn't Opened.

History: She respect Tsunade-sama very much and believes her word is law. Disagree and you get smacked by Akira.


Yah it's like my Jounin OC on RPG but I like her and I have a awesome picture of her.


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My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#3 narusakulover2468

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Posted 14 November 2006 - 11:16 PM

*pokes the owner of the thread* You alive?


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My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#4 gamerman_007

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Posted 15 November 2006 - 12:56 AM

GAMERMAN LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And yeah, I guess I could use your OC. Though she won't get that much of a role. But you never know. :rolleyes:

Oh and BTW, you mind if I change some characteristics of your OC? Seems a little too Mary-Sue with the bloodline thing.


Bunny: Sasuke, join me.
Sasuke: What will I receive if I join you?
Bunny: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!
Sasuke: Sweet! what do I do?
Orochimaru: Sssssssssssssaaaaaaasssssssssukkkkkkeeeeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnn!
Sasuke: oh f***

Sono nantomo ienai sekushii na oshiri wo ore no kokan ni okittensukete rizumu ni awasete kosurinasai = Back that ass up. :D

#5 narusakulover2468

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Posted 15 November 2006 - 01:03 AM

:blink: Uhhhhhh sure.

Edited- R u even alive


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#6 narusakulover2468

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Posted 17 November 2006 - 02:40 AM

Soooooooooo how's the story doing? biggrin.gif


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My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#7 gamerman_007

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Posted 17 November 2006 - 02:41 AM

I'm procrastinating.


BTW, I do need criticism, like soon.


Bunny: Sasuke, join me.
Sasuke: What will I receive if I join you?
Bunny: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!
Sasuke: Sweet! what do I do?
Orochimaru: Sssssssssssssaaaaaaasssssssssukkkkkkeeeeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnn!
Sasuke: oh f***

Sono nantomo ienai sekushii na oshiri wo ore no kokan ni okittensukete rizumu ni awasete kosurinasai = Back that ass up. :D

#8 narusakulover2468

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Posted 17 November 2006 - 02:43 AM

You got anything new?


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My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#9 gamerman_007

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Posted 17 November 2006 - 02:50 AM

Nope. Still the same.

Still procrastinating.


Bunny: Sasuke, join me.
Sasuke: What will I receive if I join you?
Bunny: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!
Sasuke: Sweet! what do I do?
Orochimaru: Sssssssssssssaaaaaaasssssssssukkkkkkeeeeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnn!
Sasuke: oh f***

Sono nantomo ienai sekushii na oshiri wo ore no kokan ni okittensukete rizumu ni awasete kosurinasai = Back that ass up. :D

#10 ia3

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Posted 17 November 2006 - 11:16 AM

Lol, i like the kagebunshin idea. There just arent many good enough fics out there :devil:

Still, i think your fic reads to modern in a way. Eg, lotsa cursing and stuff, which i don't think is really condusive to the tone of the story.

Just an opinion. Best of luck with it!

To disgrace oneself is something a samurai should never do.

#11 Derock

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Posted 17 November 2006 - 11:51 PM

This look like a good fanfic to read.

Quick question: Who's the kid's name?

latest?cb=20140126021943

What's Happening with the Naruto series as of now!


#12 gamerman_007

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Posted 18 November 2006 - 03:14 AM

The kid's name is Arashi. Did I forget to put that in there?


Bunny: Sasuke, join me.
Sasuke: What will I receive if I join you?
Bunny: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!
Sasuke: Sweet! what do I do?
Orochimaru: Sssssssssssssaaaaaaasssssssssukkkkkkeeeeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnn!
Sasuke: oh f***

Sono nantomo ienai sekushii na oshiri wo ore no kokan ni okittensukete rizumu ni awasete kosurinasai = Back that ass up. :D

#13 narusakulover2468

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Posted 18 November 2006 - 04:07 PM

dry.gif Yeah ya did


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Gaia- NejiHinaLover12
My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#14 narusakulover2468

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 10:41 PM

*drums her fingures* I've been waiting for eva 4 a update!


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My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#15 Derock

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 11:08 PM

Me too !!!

We want more!!

latest?cb=20140126021943

What's Happening with the Naruto series as of now!


#16 gamerman_007

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 04:57 AM

PROCRASTINATION NO JUTSU!!!

I'll do it.......someday........


Bunny: Sasuke, join me.
Sasuke: What will I receive if I join you?
Bunny: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!
Sasuke: Sweet! what do I do?
Orochimaru: Sssssssssssssaaaaaaasssssssssukkkkkkeeeeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnn!
Sasuke: oh f***

Sono nantomo ienai sekushii na oshiri wo ore no kokan ni okittensukete rizumu ni awasete kosurinasai = Back that ass up. :D

#17 narusakulover2468

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 04:19 PM

*glares and cracks knuckles* You'll. Die.


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My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#18 gamerman_007

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Posted 21 December 2006 - 10:55 PM

RAWR!

I'll do it later..... >_<

I need new ideas, btw.


Bunny: Sasuke, join me.
Sasuke: What will I receive if I join you?
Bunny: POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!
Sasuke: Sweet! what do I do?
Orochimaru: Sssssssssssssaaaaaaasssssssssukkkkkkeeeeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnn!
Sasuke: oh f***

Sono nantomo ienai sekushii na oshiri wo ore no kokan ni okittensukete rizumu ni awasete kosurinasai = Back that ass up. :D

#19 narusakulover2468

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Posted 21 December 2006 - 11:32 PM

Hmmmmmmmmmm a idea ehh..... How about finally making him got to the academy and then start off with the test thingy!?


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My Harem- Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) l Kōki Kariya (The World Ends With You) l Karou and Hikaru (Ouran Host Club) l Edward Elric (F.M.A) l Kyo Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Hiro-chan Sohma (Fruit Basket) l Sohma Kisa (Fruit Basket) l Oliver Riggs (Amazing Agent Luna) l Kai (Blood+) l Kakeru Manabe (Fruits Basket)l Romeo (RomeoxJuliet) l Juliet (RomeoxJuliet) l Tybalt (RomeoxJuliet) l Ed (Cowboy Bebop)








#20 animefan

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Posted 22 December 2006 - 08:28 AM

how bout him going girl hunting ..... i meant research ....... what i really meant was training ya training biggrin.gif




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