11 replies to this topic

[Dalton.T.R]

Ok, a few of you know about my book serise (Chris Lynheart) and might know what it's about, but...I just have this feeling I mixed up with my lead female.

Early in the story, Chris (the lead male) has troubles with his life (picture Naruto's past 10 times worse) and eventually draws his line and tries to commit suicide, but fails.
His school prinsipal is concerned and tells Chris there will be someone who will reach out to him in time. He says it's a high chance of it being a girl who reaches out to him, and that's where I kind of got a bit concerned.

This is why I asked specifically for a female reader to answer my question. Would you say females are better at understanding emotions and feeling someone elses pain? That's how I made Jessica (lead female) to be. I'll tell you a bit about Jessica.

Jessica is a new girl in Chris's school that moved to DC with her family from Orland California. She is raised in a very strong military family and has learned U.S.M.C hand-to-hand combat techniques from her parents who are both in the United States Marine Corps. She has also learned a few moves from her brother who joined the U.S Army at the age of 17.

Jessica is a very kind and out going person who doesn't hesitate to do something silly or stupid. She loves pulling pranks and make people laugh. She's an open girl who is not affraid to speak her mind and will not hesitate to ask about something that confuses her, or defend a friend from a bully.

Jessica recieved a gift from the heavens when her mother was giving birth to her. Her gift is called "Forayer's Sight" By looking into someone's eyes she can see their past and instantly know everything about them. Which is how she becomes so interested in Chris.

She instantly feels sorry for him and promises with her pinkie finger she'll be his friend. She understand emotions better than most people and can tell Chris isn't dealing with jsut a few school bullies.


So, my question is. Do females understand emotions better than men?

[Muffins?]

Empathy depends on the person, not the gender.

[JoHamSandwich]

Empathy depends on the person, not the gender.

This is true.

But generally, women are more emotional than men...or better at conveying their emotions.

[Miss Soupy]

I don't think there'd be a higher chance of a girl reaching out to him. Girls might be more emotional, but you have to also weigh in the likelihood of someone from the same gender being more comfortable with talking to him. So really, it could be either gender that was likely for different reasons.

[Dalton.T.R]

I don't think there'd be a higher chance of a girl reaching out to him. Girls might be more emotional, but you have to also weigh in the likelihood of someone from the same gender being more comfortable with talking to him. So really, it could be either gender that was likely for different reasons.

Mmm...how can I put this...? I guess what I'm asking might be a little..."iffy" But that's just how I see the perfect girl in my own opinion. Not affraid to speak her mind and will go through anything for her friends, not that men can't do that as well.

I don't really know how to put it on a computer, but if I were talking to you personally, I could probably do it with no problem.

Ok, well take this for example. A girl and her friend adre hanging out by a lake or a pond or whereever, and her friend is acting weird. Arent girls better at noticing this kind of stuff?

To me in my own opinion a female can leave a sertain...effect? On the person they're trying to cheer up. I always feel a lot better if one of my girl friends talk to me about something other than the guys. Maybe it's just because they're the opposite sex. Or maybe I'm just hanging around the right kind of girls...

[ciardha]

This is why I asked specifically for a female reader to answer my question. Would you say females are better at understanding emotions and feeling someone elses pain?

Good question. This is subject feminists (both second and third wave, actually first wave as well, but that's going back a bit too far when you are speaking of modern culture.) have explored. Women do tend to be better at understanding emotions and being empathic. The debate amongst feminists is- is this something innate about women or is it socialization? My age group (now in our mid-late 40's) bridges second and third wave feminism. I tend to lean toward the majority opinion in second wave feminism- that it's mostly, if not completely socialization. (in other words, if a man was socialized the same way women are they'd be equally capable of understanding emotions and being empathic. Third wave feminists tend to favor it being an innate thing. I disagree, because there are men that are that way, and women that aren't.

Sorry for making this more complicated. ;)

[Miss Soupy]

Mmm...how can I put this...? I guess what I'm asking might be a little..."iffy" But that's just how I see the perfect girl in my own opinion. Not affraid to speak her mind and will go through anything for her friends, not that men can't do that as well.

I don't really know how to put it on a computer, but if I were talking to you personally, I could probably do it with no problem.

Ok, well take this for example. A girl and her friend adre hanging out by a lake or a pond or whereever, and her friend is acting weird. Arent girls better at noticing this kind of stuff?

I was mostly giving my opinion on the likelihood of someone saying, 'well a girl might notice first'. Not sure if someone would initially think that to be the case XD

And, as for your example, I'd say since they are friends they would notice something was up, not just because they were females. If you changed it to two guys hanging out, or a guy and a girl, I think any gender has a shot of noticing something is up. It amounts to the friendship between them more than just the gender. Hope that makes sense.

To me in my own opinion a female can leave a sertain...effect? On the person they're trying to cheer up. I always feel a lot better if one of my girl friends talk to me about something other than the guys. Maybe it's just because they're the opposite sex. Or maybe I'm just hanging around the right kind of girls...

Girls and guys might approach a subject differently, that is true. But really, I think it depends on who you are close to and comfortable with.

[Darth Krypt]

I go to my girl friends if I have a problem and just need someone to talk to. They usually do more listening and have more empathy. They make it seem like they know how you feel, that's why you feel better after talking to her. It's like you have someone to "share" the problem with. If I want suggestions to solve some problems, I go to my guy friends who are more practical.

[Dalton.T.R]

I go to my girl friends if I have a problem and just need someone to talk to. They usually do more listening and have more empathy. They make it seem like they know how you feel, that's why you feel better after talking to her. It's like you have someone to "share" the problem with. If I want suggestions to solve some problems, I go to my guy friends who are more practical.

Yeah, that's basically what I was trying to say. All in all it's not looking like I screwed up too bad. I went back and read the parts I wasn't too sure about and they seem fine to me. Just thought I should ask though

[PachucoDesigns]

Until you see a study proving that women are better at perceiving emotions, you're better off not assuming that they are. More importantly, you want to keep your personal beliefs and perceptions distant from the development of your characters, or they will all end up stained with your personality. The most dynamic characters are those that stand completely apart from you, or identify with your sentiments by their own life experiences and not because your personal opinion bleeds through.

[krisk]

Until you see a study proving that women are better at perceiving emotions, you're better off not assuming that they are.

lol pretty much.

it won't be until society stops forcing stupid gender roles that we'll have some unbiased truth.

men aren't allowed to be emotional because then they'll seem "girly"
women aren't allowed to be non-emotional because then we'll seem "un-lady-like"

both opposing roles are perceived as bad and lesser, already. (can we say homophobia?) and since fear is #1 on humanity's check-list, we won't see any progress any time soon.



anyway where can i get sommadat Forayer's Sight because daaamn son

[kirabook]

I feel it's just ... how people are socialized like ciardha said.

Think about it, how are boys and men supposed to act now a days says society? They're supposed to be tough and strong. They're supposed to be stronger than women, afterall, men are supposed to protect women and children from danger. Men aren't supposed to cry, that's a girly thing. Manly tears are only allowed occasionally. Men aren't allowed to wear pink too often -even though pink used to be considered 'baby red'-, it's too girly.

Women on the other hand, women are supposed to be weak physically and emotionally. Women cry at just about everything, even the small things. Women are supposed to marry men, take their name, and be taken care of. Women are the ones that know how to take care of a child better than a man -why do you think women win custody cases more often-. Women are all wonderful cooks and have some kind of second sense when it comes to emotions.

It's all conditions and a bit like self-fulfilling prophecy. If women think they are meant to be better at handling emotions, they'll strive to do that. If women are supposed to listen to peoples problems and open up and listen, they will. If men are supposed to laugh off any attempts at opening up to a fellow man about their feelings, they will. If men are supposed to be tough and pretend that they're emotions are rock hard or non-existent, they will strive to do that.

That said, that is the appeal of fiction. You can write your own society and how things work there. If women are more emotional in your book, then it's closer to what society thinks today I guess you could say. But it's not always the case. I'm not a very emotional person at all. I'm very introverted and I often bottle up all my feelings until I break. I don't realize I'm doing it till it happens. I have an emotional panic/break down at least every 3-4 months, it just gets to be too much for me. My friends who are girls do express their emotions more often and more openly than I do. If they need to cry from something that just happened, they'll do it right there. I, on the other hand, will end up convincing myself it's not worth crying over, and end up crying later when it gets to be too much to handle.

I don't know if I can understand emotions better than men, but I do feel that I pick up on some things most don't notice. I kinda go into every conversation expecting certain things, picking up on certain gestures that indicate their mood or what they might be really thinking throughout. But anyone can be highly observant.