Lizardo221

I am drafting for a fanfiction contest and need some opinions on which version of a story to focus on. I like both a lot but they are a little too similar to submit together. The main topic of course is NaruSaku and though I haven't posted here in a while, I hope that some of the regulars would do me the favor of picking between the two stories.

Version 1

Within the world of the shinobi, the village hidden in the leaves is well known for being quite peaceful under the protection of the hokages. Today though, its people are seen hurrying about in a frenzy, putting up all sorts of decorations and transforming the town into a colorful wonderland. You see, many years ago, Konoha was damaged badly by an evil man but on that same day its people were saved by the hokage. To honor the event, Konoha's villagers hold a bright and beautiful festival with all sorts of games and entertainment for everyone to enjoy.

Now as night came and the city was alive with revelers, there was one little figure who seemed to be having trouble enjoying the spectacles of the evening. This little girl had remarkably brilliant, pink hair along with dazzling blue eyes to match. The kimono that she wore was milky white with an array of red, orange, and yellow leaves, blending together to appear as though she were surrounded by flames. Despite such a glowing appearance, this child had an expression of disappointment on her face that truly didn’t match the evening's atmosphere. She loved the festival and all its exciting venues, but had gotten separated from her mother and father and couldn’t seem to find them. Not wanting to appear weak, she silently searched for them throughout the crowded streets.

Everywhere she searched, there were families she knew entertaining others at the festival. The Akimichi’s were taking on all sorts of challengers in eating contests. Some of the Sarutobi’s could be seen performing an elaborate show involving all sorts of fiery jutsus. Even the Aburame were doing their part as they terrified visitors in the haunted bug house. She was happy to see all of her friends and their families working so hard but wished that she could do the same with her own family.

Eventually she wandered away from the crowds of people and stood on a small bridge crossing the river. It was becoming increasingly taxing to see so many happy families, making her want to hide till it all ended. A tear forming in her eye, she was about to let it all out when suddenly someone’s hand rested gently on her head. In the water, she could see the reflection of a tall, blond figure wearing a white mask in the shape of a fox. He had on a long, incredibly orange jacket with red flames along the edges. Most striking though was the title of “Hokage” tailored elegantly along the back, making him recognizable to even a child like her. She turned excitedly with bright eyes and screamed, “Grandpa!” to which the man quickly put a finger to his mask’s face, signaling to her to not yell so loudly.

This comforting figure knelt down on one knee and asked his adorable pink haired grandchild, “Why do you look so sad?” She somewhat looked away from him but explained that she wanted to pet the deer at the festival but got separated from mama and papa when she ran off on her own. He seemed to ponder over what she said and humorously replied, “You just wanted to go play with the Nara boy you always stare at didn’t you?” Her face turned a shade of pink that matched her hair and the young reveler became flustered. Before she could get mad though, he handed her an incredibly big snow cone covered in of course orange flavoring and patted her on the head once more. “Don’t worry, grandpa will always protect you no matter what,” he said.

Before the masked man could say anything more to console her, there was a sudden intent to kill coming his way. Quickly picking up his granddaughter while turning around, this innocent little child was all that stood between him and potentially the greatest beating of his life. An older woman had appeared before them with radiant pink hair wearing a lovely red garb covered in white swirls that perfectly matched the festivities of the evening. She glared at the masked man as though her gaze could burn a hole through him, declaring, “I know that’s you Naruto!”

She walked up to the petrified hokage, took the snow cone eating child out of his hands, and cooed to the girl saying, “How’s my adorable little grandchild doing!?” Naruto quickly explained that their young granddaughter had gotten lost and he got side tracked looking after her. Somewhat doubting his reason for being absent during the main events of the festival, her stern demeanor melted away as the small pink witness tugged on Sakura’s dress, staring up with adorable, little eyes. She took her grandchild by the hand and said to her, “Let’s go look for mama and papa, ok?”

The child's parents during this time had looked everywhere for their little pink ball of joy, terrified of what might have happened to her. Before they panicked though, the couple heard amongst the crowd the sound of their daughter laughing. They turned quickly towards the sound but were surprised to see her walking hand in hand with the hokage and his wife, each eating a snow cone as they laughed amongst one another. Seeing her mother and father, the little girl ran to her parents and embraced them. They asked if she was ok but the little reveler simply smiled and said “Grandma and grandpa found me.” All together now, the entire Uzumaki family happily walked down the street as they made their way through the festival.

Version 2

Within the world of the shinobi, the village hidden in the leaves is well known for being quite peaceful under the protection of the hokages. Today though, its people are seen hurrying about, putting up all sorts of decorations and transforming the town into a colorful wonderland. You see, many years ago, Konoha was damaged badly by an evil man but on that same day its people were saved by the hokage. To honor the event, Konoha's villagers hold a bright and beautiful festival with all sorts of games and entertainment for everyone to enjoy.

Now as night came and the city was alive with revelers, there was one little figure who seemed to be having trouble enjoying the spectacles of the evening. This little girl had remarkably brilliant, pink hair along with dazzling blue eyes to match. The kimono that she wore was milky white with an array of red, orange, and yellow leaves, blending together to appear as though she were surrounded by flames. Despite such a glowing appearance, this child had an expression of disappointment on her face that truly didn’t match the evening's atmosphere. She loved the festival and all its exciting venues, but had gotten separated from her mother and father and couldn’t seem to find them. Not wanting to appear weak, she silently searched for them throughout the crowded streets.

Everywhere she searched, there were families she knew entertaining others at the festival. The Akimichi’s were taking on all sorts of challengers in eating contests. Some of the Sarutobi’s could be seen performing an elaborate show involving all sorts of fiery jutsus. Even the Aburame were doing their part as they terrified visitors in the haunted bug house. She was happy to see all of her friends and their families working so hard but wished that she could do the same with her own family.

Eventually she wandered away from the crowds of people and stood on a small bridge crossing the river. It was becoming emotionally draining on her to see so many happy families, making her want to hide till it all ended. A tear forming in her eye, she was about to let it all out when suddenly someone’s hand rested gently on her head. In the water, she could see the reflection of a tall, blond figure wearing a white mask in the shape of a fox. He had on a long, incredibly orange jacket with red flames along the edges. Most striking though was the title of “Hokage” tailored elegantly along the back, making him recognizable to even a child like her. She turned excitedly with bright eyes as though she wanted to scream his name but the man quickly put a finger to his mask’s face, signaling to her to not say anything.

This comforting figure knelt down on one knee and asked this adorable pink haired child, “Why do you look so sad?” She somewhat looked away from him but explained that she wanted to pet the deer at the festival but got separated from mama and papa when she ran off on her own. He seemed to ponder over what she said and humorously replied, “You just wanted to go play with the Nara boy you always stare at didn’t you?” Her face turned a shade of pink that matched her hair and the young reveler became flustered. Before she could get mad though, he handed her an incredibly big snow cone and patted her on the head once more. “Don’t worry, I will always protect you no matter what,” he said.

Before she could say anymore, the little girl heard her parents franticly yelling nearby in search of her. She quickly turned around and yelled back to them till they made their way towards her. The couple embraced their lost child and asked where she wandered off to. She simply smiled, pointed behind herself, and said “Grandpa found me,” but the couple holding their daughter didn’t see anyone there. Not sure what she meant, the small family walked back to the festivities, each holding a snow cone in hand.

“She looks so much like you, Sakura-chan,” the kage reflected. Next to the masked man was a beautiful woman with hair as pink as the little girl. Her dress was crimson red and covered in many elaborate white swirls, perfect for the evening. This stunning figure replied to the masked man, saying, “Yes, but she has your warming smile, Naruto.” The pair quietly stared at the happy family walking toward the festivities and eventually faded into the night.

The 6th hokage was known far and wide for being an incredibly caring individual. He protected his friends and family with his life, never going back on a single promise. Some say that he always watches over the village to this day, putting smiles on his loved one’s faces.

Both are still in a drafted stage but I need to figure out which of the two is more worthwhile to focus on. Please enjoy and give feedback if possible.