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Original Story: A Victorian Tale


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#1 Luna

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Posted 13 December 2020 - 03:01 AM

Inspired by Chatte, I wanted to post a story that I never would probably posted until completion but I wanted some feedback on the few chapters I have.

 

Title: A Victorian Tale

 

Summary: This follows the story of Amelia-Rose Baker; a passionate young woman who loves cooking and dreams of opening her own business in the future. However, she has truly difficult journey ahead of her before she reaches her dream.

 

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#2 Luna

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Posted 13 December 2020 - 03:02 AM

Chapter 1:

 

 

SOUP

 

 

“Miss Baker!”

 

“Miss Baker!”

 

I was beguiled by their cute voices. The children surrounded me with ravenous gazes. I plastered a gentle smile on my face released a wistful soft sigh.

 

“What are you making for us today, Miss Baker?”

 

I looked down at the little boy who wears a second hand stitched up sailor suit. His name, as I recall, is Sonny. “I’ll be making a tasty nourishing soup that will certainly fill your tummy., little one.”

 

Sonny’s big brown eyes widened and he looked at me with a toothy grin. “You’re the best Miss Baker!”

 

“Thank you, Miss Baker!”

 

I whirled around, my plain dress creating a perfect circle as I commit each of their faces to my memory. Their praise and thanks were as sweet as honey, filling my heart with sugar. I gracefully thanked them, whisking out of the orphanage lobby and into the kitchen with a heavy heart.

 

I didn’t want to cry in front of the children, whom I dearly so love. Their candied apple eyes that looked so hopeful and eager whenever I cook for them…..I will miss it, oh so much.

 

I walked over to the sink, peering out through the window with burning eyes. I felt the tear rolled down my face and unconsciously I licked it, crinkling my nose at the salty taste.

 

I had grown up in this orphanage and never was I adopted like the other children. I worked hard from a young age, learning all I can to help others have an easier time. It wasn’t until I discovered I had a talent for cooking and I was tasked to help the kitchen cook at the time.

 

I became enamoured with the art that required so much finesse. I learned all I could, as it was another reprieve from my lonely existence apart from the lovely children. Eventually, I replaced the old cook at the wee age of seventeen when he couldn’t go on any longer.

 

The older I got I realized that my future wasn’t going to be like the noble ladies. Though, commoners such as herself could be married to someone of noble birth, I didn’t have such high notions. I aimed for a reachable goal that came with it’s own fair share of challenges.

 

I wished to open my own successful business in the future. I was sanguine about my goal and saved the meagre pay I earned as a cook in this little orphanage. My decision to leave the orphanage was influenced by my goal and today was my last day here.

 

I sighed, turning away from the window to face the kitchen I worked in for four years. In this derelict orphanage, this small kitchen is my paradise, my home. I walked over to the counter, tracing the trimmings of the counter with my dainty fingers.

 

It was becoming difficult to breathe as I tried to valiantly fight my tears. Through watery eyes, I was fastidious, absorbing and committing the kitchen to memory. Today, was my last day in the orphanage and I, Amelia-Rose Baker intended to make this the last meal and best meal of these children’s lives.

 

 

I mustered the best smile I could and began gathering the ingredients needed for the soup I was going to prepare. I briskly walked over the small copper coloured cast iron pot that reminded me of a burnt orange ombre cake and removed the white cotton cloth that was draped over it.

 

I nodded thoughtfully, looking at the peas I had soaked last night. I lifted the pot and placed it with the other ingredients and quietly listed off the ingredients.

 

“12 bacon rashers, 3 tablespoons of butter, 2 onion, 4 carrots, 2 celery sticks, 11 ounces of yellow split peas, 4 sprigs of mint, 4 sprigs of thyme, 3 ½ litres of vegetable stock, salt, and pepper.” I spoke softly.

 

Pulling up my sleeves, I grabbed the knife and slowly diced the vegetables up with attentiveness. I took great delight dicing the vegetables, something I have done many times over. Next was the bacon which I diced finely as well. After I was finished with the vegetables and bacon, I lit the kitchen range and the rumford fireplace. I grabbed the 4 litre pot and hung it up on the trivet so it could catch the heat.

 

I needed to prepare the vegetables and bacon first, stir frying them with butter. I added the butter to the pot, listening to the sweet sizzle of the melting butter and stirred the savoury essence with a ladle. I watched, memorized but the silky texture of the melted butter.

 

I washed the diced vegetables off before adding them to the pot along with the bacon. I smiled, inhaling the appetizing scent that filled the room. I slowed stirred the vegetables over the fire, immensely enjoying myself.

 

I started to hum a simple tune, gently flicking my wrist to and fro, making sure the vegetables are nicely soaking up the butter. After cooking them for a few minutes, I added the peas and the vegetable stock to boil and simmer for forty-five minutes and covered the pot.

 

I chose vegetable stock because I wanted the children to have a hearty filling meal with nourishing ingredients. I love them very much and only wish them happiness. I knew children hated vegetables but I always had a way to make them tasty.

 

While that was boiling I gently picked up the herbs, silently inhaling their intoxicating scent. I sighed contentedly as the scent filled my senses. I placed them down, chopped them up finely and added them to a bowl to lay in wait.

 

“Miss Baker.”

 

I turned around at the sound of my name being called. It was the orphanage matron who stood by the door. I titled my head downwards in acknowledgement and smiled. “Yes, Miss Hawthorne?”

 

“Is supper ready yet, my dear girl?” She asked with a serene smile.

 

“In half of an hour, the soup should be finished, Miss Hawthorne.”

 

She nodded and left the room just as fast as she could, with her round body that reminded me so much of dumplings. I stifled a laugh, picturing a ball of dough rolling into the lobby.

 

“Pardon me for my thoughtless inappropriateness.” I softly said, my lips itching to smile.

 

The orphanage matron was a reasonably nice lady who had always supported me, despite my active imagination that is filled with food. She wasn’t a doting mother, that’s for sure, but she always showed whatever affection she could muster up for the children. It wasn’t much but bare minimum was enough to make these children happy.

 

After the soup boiled and simmered enough I added the herbs, the salt and pepper to season the soup and give extra flavour. I didn’t use a lot of pepper since I was cooking for children but just enough to warm their little tummies. After another five minutes and the soup was finished.

 

I lifted the cover and the scent was simply divine. I was filled with such a profound feeling of accomplishment at another well done dish, that I simply had to stare at the inviting soup. Th urge to taste the hearty soup took over and I scooped some of the soup out into a small wooden bowl and tasted it.

 

“Mmmmm.” I moaned in delight before catching myself.

 

I covered my hand with my mouth and looked around cautiously before giggling softly. If someone had heard such a languorous sound coming from my lips I would be met with derision. Placing the bowl into the sink, I put out the fire quickly.

 

I headed to the kitchen door and peered out into the lobby. “Miss Hawthorne, the soup is ready to be served.” I politely said.

 

“Thank you deary, I’ll serve it right away.” She said while walking towards me but I stopped her.

 

“If you don’t mind, Miss Hawthorne, but I would love it if I could serve the children today.” I said with a bittersweet smile. “I want to see they’re sweet sugary smiles one last time...”

 

Miss Hawthorne nodded with a soft expression. “Then I will set the table for the children.”

 

I curtsied before slipping back into the kitchen. I tilted my head back, looking at the ceiling so the tears won’t fall. Blinking a few times, I practice making happy faces, since children were outspoken and intuitive and would certainly notice my mood.

 

I composed myself and moved to the rack that hung over the brick counter. I grabbed a pair of mittens and lifted the pot from the trivet. I heaved, struggling with the weight of it but I was determined to see those smiles on those round faces. I headed to the dining hall door and stopped, listening to the laughter of the children and their voices only made my decision to leave harder. I steeled myself and pushed the doors opened.

 

Nothing but silence encompassed the room.

 

The children rest their gazes on me, smiles slowly forming. I lifted the pot, smiled and winked. “Supper is served.”

 

“Miss Baker!”

 

“Miss Baker!”

 

The children jumped out of their chairs and circle me with joyful voices. I laughed, barely containing my own joy. “Now children, we shan’t be so hasty, we don’t need this delicious hot soup to fall. So, stand in an orderly line and you’ll have your soup before you know it.”

 

“Yes Miss Baker!” The children happily replied in unison and quickly got into line. I placed the pot on the table and began serving them one by one.

 

After all twelve children was served, I looked down at the pot which still had more than enough for a second serving. “When you’re finished with your first bowl, you can have a second bowl.” I informed them and was met with praises.

 

I pensively watched them smack their lips, praising the soup and drinking it with gusto. I dabbed my eyes with the mittens, briefly thinking how unsanitary it was before succumbing to the joy the children brought me.

 

I turned to Miss Hawthorne. “Can you watch over them, Miss Hawthorne?”

 

“Of course, now run along and pack. The carriage will be here any minute.” She said, shooing me away.

 

I ran upstairs to my room and began throwing what little belongings I had in my suitcase. I made sure my earnings from working here was safely stored in the suitcase. After I was done I moved onto my next task.

 

Writing a letter, addressed to the children.

 

I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye, which I hope would soften the blow of my leaving. I picked up the fountain pen and began writing a heartfelt letter that conveyed all of my feelings. I smiled, noting the cursive of every letter as I poured my feelings into it.

 

I was unable to wipe the tears away that threatened to fall. I watched as they stained the paper yet I still continued despite some of the ink smearing. This orphanage had some many memories, not all good, but some good enough to make me emotional.

 

The children, I was going to miss them so much but I knew Miss Hawthorne would take care of them and possibly find well off homes for them.

 

I finished the letter with a special signature and kissed it before placing it neatly in an envelope. I grabbed my suitcase and hurried towards the stairs. I hadn’t reached the stairs yet but I heard the children’s laughter coming from the dining room.

 

I took the first step down the stairs but stopped, remembering the vase filled with red roses in my room and rushed back to get it. I spot the vase filled with red roses on my simple vanity and my heart bloomed.

 

These roses were from my secret admirer who sent me a single roses everyday from the time I was seventeen years old. I’m twenty years old now and continually received them for three years.

 

My stomach churned, and I choked back a sob that threatened to escape. I was sad that today will be the last day I receive a single rose from my secret admirer. I didn’t even get to meet him, whoever he may be.

 

I turned away and walked out of the room, opting to leave the roses there which will soon become my past. I walked down the stairs and Miss Hawthorne was already by the door with both hands behind her. I walked over to her and hesitantly handed her the letter.

 

“When I’m gone...may you please read this letter to the children?” I ask, hopeful of a good response. She nodded and sent me a sad smile.

 

“You can stay if you want to, Miss—I mean Amelia-Rose.” She told me in a soft voice, almost pleading.

 

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Miss Hawthorne.”

 

She sighed and smiled at me. “I had to try, at least for the children.”

 

I laughed, but it sounded strained to my ears, almost like my voice was cracking.

 

“I have something else for you.” She told me before pulling out a single rose.

 

My heart soared and I reached out for the rose. The moment I had it in my hand, I brought it to my nose, inhaling that natural scent. He sent another one, another rose for me and only me. I so wished I could meet him but maybe fate has other plans. One day, he will present himself to me but until then….

 

“Carriage for Miss Baker!”

 

The voice rang out, grabbing my attention. I sighed and gave Miss Hawthorne one last look. “Miss Hawthorne, I really want to thank you for raising me and for this opportunity. I will be forever grateful for your grace.”

 

Miss Hawthorne cracked and tears started falling. “I wish you all the best, Amelia-Rose. Do take care of yourself!”

 

“I will.” I said and walked out of the orphanage without looking back.

 

The hardest part was leaving the place I called home for many years but now I was excited about the new chapter in my life. I looked down at the rose that I held in a tight grip and smiled. “Wish me luck, my secret admirer.”



 


#3 Luna

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Posted 13 December 2020 - 03:04 AM

Chapter 2:

 

 

Sugar

 

The carriage ride was a long and slow harrowing one but the carriage had finally arrived at the place I was to be employed, at dawn.

 

I peeled the curtain back to see what true luxury looked like and fixed my gaze upon the manor that looked ominous in the morning light. I was complete flabbergasted at how luxurious it was. I couldn’t describe it because I didn’t have the vocabulary necessary to put such a sight into words.

 

I closed the curtain, my stomach churning with nervous energy. I took deep breathes before fixing my brown hair, trying to smooth it out. I dusted my dress off and pinched my cheeks twice to give my cheeks that red ethereal glow.

 

“Oh, sugar sticks. I’m so nervous...” I whispered softly.

 

“Arriving at the Duke of Cambridgeshire’s Manor!”

 

The driver’s voice startled me and the carriage stopped. I sat with a bundle of anticipation and nervous energy bundle together and then the door opened. An old men appeared in my vision with a solemn expression and my hands trembled.

 

“Milady, I’m Rufus Francis, the designated Butler of the Duke’s Manor.”

 

I summoned my manners and bowed my head slightly. “A pleasure to meet you. I’m Amelia-Rose Baker.” I said, trying to hide my trembling hands.

 

“We’ve been expecting your arrival.” He said, holding out his hand for me to grab. Hesitantly, I placed my hand in his and slowly got out of the carriage with my suitcase.

 

“You luggage will be taken to your quarters but in the meantime, I will take you to meet the rest of the kitchen staff and then you shall meet the Duke and Duchess of Cambridgeshire if they permit it.”

 

“Many thanks, Sir Francis.” I curtsied politely, making sure I made a good first impression. When I saw him nod approvingly, I felt relieved but dare not relax in his presence.

 

“Follow me, Milady.”

 

“I-I Yes, Sir Francis!” I replied, following him towards the manor doors that looked expensive. He opened the door, allowing me to go in.

 

I took a deep breath and stepped into the luxurious home with my head lowered, fixing my gaze on the pine flooring. I grew up in the orphanage where I didn’t had the chance to learn etiquette like the upper class and middle class did.

 

I belonged to the poor class and it was only by some miracle I learned some basics from watching the middle class patrons who visited and secretly listening to their conversations.

 

The one thing I learned was that the upper class was never to be addressed unless it was absolutely necessary. Using the proper title was of the utmost importance. If the ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ was seen it was necessary that I ‘disappear’, turning to face the wall or avoid eye contact.

 

“Leave your luggage here at the door and let us make our way to the kitchen.” Rufus said, looking at me appraisingly before turning away.

 

I reluctantly released my suitcase, leaving my hard earned money with a heavy heart. That was the money I needed to reach my goal and if anything happened to it, I would be devastated. I followed him through a series of turns, memorising the path we were taking.

 

When we finally arrived at the kitchen, I had to control my body not to run around from the joy of seeing such a luxurious kitchen. I wanted to run my palms against the oak counter tops, caress the beautiful expensive copper pots, hug the mahogany ice box and kiss the luxurious cast iron stove.

 

“Presenting Miss Amelia-Rose Baker!” Rufus announced loudly.

 

I watched as the four people stopped what they were doing and formed a line while looking at me with curious gazes. I lowered my head, plastering a smile on my face and curtsied while keeping my head lowered.

 

“So, this is the lass that will be our new Scullery Maid?” The only other man in the room asked. I raised my head slowly, so I can get a better look at the man who addressed me.

 

White, straight hair gently hangs over an aged face with the rest pinned underneath his chef hat. His intense brown eyes made me nervous as it seemed like he was scrutinizing me. I gulped, secretly hoping I met his standards.

 

“I’m Jonathan Spencer, the Head Chef.” He said gruffly, turning to his workers. “Introduce yourselves quickly, we don’t have all day!”

 

I turned my gaze to the beautiful blonde woman who stepped forward and curtsied. “I’m Emma Pearce, the Second Cook.”

 

“I’m Leila Kennedy, the Senior Kitchen Maid.”

 

“And I’m Evangeline Fletcher, the Junior Kitchen Maid.”

 

I kept my smile intact when they finished introducing themselves and curtsied even though I didn’t have too. “I’m Amelia-Rose Baker, its a pleasure to meet you all.”

 

“Get back to work!”

 

I watched as Jonathan ordered his three assistants before turning Rufus. “When can the lass start working? The Sir and Madam's breakfast needs to be done, we have pots that need to be cleaned, utensils piling up and much more to do.”

 

On the outside, I was calm and collected but internally I was terribly nervous. I looked at Rufus who was looking at me thoughtfully.

 

“I was going to take her to see the Sir and Madam but since things are in such a dire state I believe she can work immediately.”

 

My fate was sealed just like that but on the upside, the sooner I worked, the sooner I get paid. I mustered my best cheery disposition.

 

“Alright lass, you won’t have time to change and I won’t have time to explain all of your duties but for now, I want all of those pots, bowls, and utensils cleaned.” He told me, pointing at the dirtiest part of the kitchen, where a stone sink was filled with dirty kitchen ware.

 

I was shocked that a kitchen this luxurious would have so many dirty kitchen ware. Annoyance flared up inside me but I pushed it back down for fear it would appear on my face. I simply smiled at him, rolled up my sleeves and got to work. Thus, my first day at work began with me scrubbing pots.

 

I dragged the brush harshly against the pot stained with old food. I huffed, blowing stray strands of brown hair from my face before using more strength to scrape the food off. I was used to this kind of work at the orphanage so it was pretty easy, thus I was able to split my attention to the goings of the kitchen behind me. The different scents were overpowering my senses, making me want to drool.

 

“Hurry it up with the Egg Fritters, Emma!” Jonathan loudly yelled. “What’s taking so long with the Crumpets Evangeline?!”

 

“R-right away, Mr Spencer!”

 

I listened with rapt attention while moving onto the next pot as Jonathan ordered his assistants around. The head chef at the orphanage wasn’t this domineering when I worked under him. This Jonathan, he ruled with an iron fist, and expected nothing but the best from his assistants. I finished the pots, neatly setting them aside to dry before moving onto the utensils.

 

“You work quickly, good job!”

 

I flinched at the loud voice and turned to Jonathan stood with satisfied expression. I bowed my head in appreciation before turning back to the dirty utensils. I rubbed the cloth across the ladle gently, stalling for time, hoping he would go away.

 

His praise was unnecessary since this was something that wasn’t praise worthy. I heard his footsteps move away from behind me and I sighed, relieved that his watchful eyes weren’t on me. I decided to fully focus on the utensils in front of me.

 

I placed the last of the utensils in the appropriate container and moved onto the bowls. Suddenly, a loud crash erupted near me, making me jump. I looked in the direction of the crash and all of the pots were on the ground with Evangeline looking at me with contempt as she walked away from the mess she caused.

 

“What is this mess?!” Jonathan yelled, stalking up to me after hearing the crash.

 

I remained silent, making sure my aloof expression remained unchanged despite my inner turmoil.

 

“Get it cleaned up now!” He spat, spittle flying.

 

I nodded, rushing over to the fallen pots and placing them back into the sink one by one. She fell those pots because Jonathan praised me. I closed my eyes, taking several breaths to compose myself, quelling my anger. I wasn’t the confrontational type so I pushed those thoughts from my mind and resumed working on the pots.

 

I placed the last of the bowls down and moved back to the sink. I dutifully cleaned out any food that was left in the sink and carefully dried my hands gently, inspecting them for any scrapes or small cuts. Finding none, I felt relieved because my hands were important for cooking. If anything happened to my hands I wouldn’t know what to do.

 

“Is this what you call a Crumpet?!”

 

I was startled by the outburst and turned around, watching Jonathan huff and puff in front of Evangeline with an angry expression.

 

“Mr Spencer..” She feebly said before she was hit by a crumpet in her face.

 

“This is awful!” He yelled. “How could you forget something as simple as sugar?!”

 

“The Sir and Madam will be down for breakfast any minute.” Emma said softly, looking at Evangeline with pity.

 

“When I get punished, you’re going down with me Evangeline!” Jonathan snarled before turning away from her, glaring at the crumpets.

 

Seeing Jonathan mumbling over the crumpets, a sudden thought popped into my mind. I had seen the old chef at the orphanage make crumpets without sugar and added honey or jam.

 

I furrowed my brows in thought, wondering if speaking up would jeopardize my long term goal. After thinking about it, it could go two ways. Getting fired and being homeless or being praised and suffering the envy of others.

 

I decided on the latter.

 

“Mr Spencer.”

 

He turned to me with furious eyes that looked like they wanted to burn me alive had I not been prepared for such a gaze.

 

“What do you want?!” He snapped at me. “Do you want to throw more pots to the ground?!”

 

I took a deep breath. “May I make suggestion?” I ask, not taking my eyes from his angered form.

 

He stared at me in silence.

 

“What suggestion would you have?” Leila questioned, looking at me with suspicious eyes.

 

“Leila!” Emma exclaimed, admonishing the girl.

 

I ignored them, summoning all the confidence I can muster before it crumbles like a cookie that was left too long in the oven. I stiffened as he walked over to me, looking down at me with curious eyes.

 

“Go on.”

 

“Since Miss Fletcher forgot the sugar, I would suggest using an alternative like jam or honey.”

 

He sighed, massaging his temples. “That’s a great idea lass but the larder doesn’t have any honey or jam.”

 

I remained silent, trying to think of another way to sweeten the crumpets. I looked behind him at the white sugar in the bowl, thinking of a way to use it and then it hit me. I smiled and looked at Jonathan, who looked at me expectantly.

 

“If I may, Mr Spencer, do you have a mortar and pestle?” I ask with a bit of excitement. “I believe I can be of help.”

 

Jonathan raised his eyebrows. “What do you want to do with the mortar and pestle?”

 

“It would be best if I could show you, Mr Spencer.” I reply, hoping he would give me the chance.

 

“Fine,” He relented with narrowed eyes, “you get one chance and if it’s not good enough for the Sir and Madam you’re out of here!”

 

I nodded.

 

“Evangeline, bring the mortar and pestle now!”

 

This was my only chance to make a difference and increase my foot hold in the family. I walked over to the counter, feeling the many stares on me and looked down at the bowl of sugar. I took the mortar and pestle from Evangeline who looked rather reluctant and inspected it.

 

It was clean so I used a spoon and place four spoonfuls of sugar in the mortar and used the pestle to grind it.

 

“What are you doing?” Emma asked me, looking at the mortar curiously

.

“If I grind this much sugar, it will eventually turn into a powder, that way we can sprinkle the powdered sugar on the crumpets to give it a sweet taste.” I said politely in a soft voice.

 

“Did you come up with that idea lass?” Jonathan ask, amazed as he looked over my shoulder.

 

I nodded and grind the sugar as best as I could. When I was finished I presented it to Jonathan who looked at the texture in amazement. I felt even more accomplished to have came up with the idea in the nick of time.

 

“This is great!” Jonathan praised me. “I’ll make sure your efforts are known to the Sir and Madam!”

 

I bowed my head in appreciation, hiding my happiness, ready to return the sink. I still had the floor to clean which was wet and dirty.

 

“Wait!”

 

I stiffened, slowly turning around to face Jonathan. “Mr Spencer?”

 

“Are you not going to finish?” He asks, gesturing to the other crumpets.

 

Reluctantly, I returned to the counter and using a spoon, I sprinkled the powdered sugar over the warm crumpets. I confidently looked at m handy work and gently took up the plate and presented it to Jonathan.

 

“I’ve never seen anything like this.” Jonathan expressed his awe while taking the plate from me. “Good work lass, clean up and take a break afterwards.”

 

I bowed my head. “Thank you, Mr Spencer.” I wanted to joyfully dance around but could only gracefully return to the sink while avoiding heated gazes of the others.

 

“As for the rest of you, finish up your dishes now!” He bellowed.

 

“Yes Mr Spencer!”

 

I didn’t have to turn around to know that I was being glared at and anticipated the inevitable confrontation. I grabbed a cloth and started to wipe the floor in front of the sink, drying it carefully. The maids came into collect the breakfast and Mr Spencer left the kitchen, leaving me alone with the women.

 

“You bloody trollop!” Leila hissed, stalking towards me,

 

I quickly sat up and stared at three women who were looking down at me. Evangeline and Leila were sneering at me while Emma kept looking towards the door with worried glances.

 

“How can I help you?” I ask before standing up and dusting off my dress.

 

“You should know your place!” Evangeline spat viciously. “You’re a Scullery Maid. The lowest of the low in this kitchen.”

 

I didn’t understand why she was so angry.

 

I sighed. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I just wanted to help out.”

 

Evangeline spluttered.

 

“Evangeline, we should leave her alone.” Emma whispered, tugging at the girl’s sleeve.

 

“NO!” Evangeline snapped, pulling away from the girl and glared at me. “She JUST started today and earned the praise of Mr. Spencer. Just because you’re a little bit prettier than us you think you can seduce him?!”

 

Seduce Mr Spencer? An old man? I scoffed inwardly and before plastering a smile on my face. “Please, do not slander my name for I meant no harm to you or your fellow workers.” I responded firmly.

 

“You-”

 

“Enough!” Emma snapped, startling both girls. I looked at her, wondering where the soft girl I saw disappeared to. “We should start preparing for lunch lest Mr Spencer scolds us again!” Evangeline and Leila huffed and walked away form her with Emma in tow.

 

I shook my head, not looking forward to my days with these girls. I finished off my cleaning duties and was then summoned to the door by Rufus. I bowed my head slightly and greeted Rufus.

 

“Milady, I’m afraid the Duchess and Duke will not be meeting you today so I shall take show you to your quarters and I will give you a rundown of your duties as a Scullery Maid.”

 

I smiled. “Thank you, Sir Francis.” I said before following the butler who carried a peculiar scent. I followed him through a serious of corridors and down some stairs while trying to memorise the layout and figure out the sent emanating from him.

 

It smelled sweet, like cherries and it me me recall a particular day when a noble came to the orphanage to give out candies. I stared at the back of Sir Francis’ head and smiled, opting not to say anything. Though, I found it amusing that the old butler liked such a sweet treat. I almost giggled, my thoughts venturing down places that could get me thrown out. Imagining the butler, much older than he was now, and toothless, sucking on candies is crude but still funny.

 

When we reached the room I was staying in, I walked into the small room that had a single bed, one dresser with an old alarm clock on it, one desk with a chair, and a single closet. I looked around for my precious luggage and saw it placed neatly in the corner. I opened the closet and found my uniform for the kitchen. I turned around, looking at Rufus who stayed outside the door.

 

“Thank you, Sir Francis.” I said sincerely and he waved me off before speaking.

 

“As a Scullery Maid, you will be the first one in the kitchen and the last to leave. You’re required to be present at 4am in the morning and leave when the kitchen is cleaned up. You are to assist the cook; to keep the kitchen clean, clean all kitchen utensils, prepare vegetables, wash towels, clean the ice-box and kindles fire in the morning where there is no watchman. The latter isn’t necessary since we have two watchman.”

 

I was stunned by the duties I had to complete on daily basis and could only nod and smile. “I understand, Sir Francis.”

 

“Do you remember your way to the kitchen?”

 

“Yes.” I replied politely.

 

“Very well, you shall begin work tomorrow,” Rufus warned her, “do not be late, Miss Baker”

 

I jumped onto the single bed as soon as he left and sighed loudly. I knew that this work is going to be tougher than anything I endured at the orphanage. I felt like an egg that lost it shell, vulnerable and ready to be fried, yet I felt unshakable.

 

I rolled over on my side, thinking of the children in the orphanage. “I miss you, little ones..” I said before yawning. “I hope you miss me too.”

 

I closed my eyes, dreaming of a future where my dream of fulfilled.



 


#4 Luna

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Posted 13 December 2020 - 03:06 AM

Any feedback? Is Amelia an engaging character so far? For me, writing this story I wanted the characters to capture the audience. 

 

I use this guide to create my characters.

 

Character Creation Sequence:

  1. Primary Drive

  2. Fear: Major and Secondary

  3. Physical Desires

  4. Style of Self Expression

  5. How They Express Affection

  6. What controls them (What they are weak for)

  7. What part of them will change



 


#5 Chatte

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Posted 15 December 2020 - 12:40 PM

I read only the first chapter for now and I am on my phone so I can't properly explain some stuff, but I will come back with a later edit.

At first glance I really liked it, the atmosphere and everything. It really gave me a british vibe setting. It also somehow gave me the vibe of the newest sensation put there "The Queen's Gambit".

I like that you also have a little suspence introduced there with the secret admirer, making the reader wonder who that is and empathize with Amelia-Rose's slight regret to never have met him.
That's one of the things that industry expert also recommend - to build suspense from the getgo in order to keep the audience hooked.

She expresses a lot of candor and it's easy to connect with her as a character.
It's also nice to have a goal set for her.

Btw, thanks for sharing the character creation sequence! That's truly interesting!

Oh and I observed some slight grammar errors here and there, but I think that's bound to happen when you write.

I also had lots of those in Kaika Saisei but thanks God for a friend of mine that helped me with looking over the chapter to help me with corrections.

Cuz 2 pairs of eyes is always better than one. 👀😁

That's it for now, I will come back at a later date with an edit.

2d617bda57e68a9871d0769988a82b4b93870803

Still rambling about Naruto/NaruSaku stuff on

https://chatte-georgiana.com


#6 Luna

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Posted 15 December 2020 - 07:57 PM

I read only the first chapter for now and I am on my phone so I can't properly explain some stuff, but I will come back with a later edit.

At first glance I really liked it, the atmosphere and everything. It really gave me a british vibe setting. It also somehow gave me the vibe of the newest sensation put there "The Queen's Gambit".

I like that you also have a little suspence introduced there with the secret admirer, making the reader wonder who that is and empathize with Amelia-Rose's slight regret to never have met him.
That's one of the things that industry expert also recommend - to build suspense from the getgo in order to keep the audience hooked.

She expresses a lot of candor and it's easy to connect with her as a character.
It's also nice to have a goal set for her.

Btw, thanks for sharing the character creation sequence! That's truly interesting!

Oh and I observed some slight grammar errors here and there, but I think that's bound to happen when you write.

I also had lots of those in Kaika Saisei but thanks God for a friend of mine that helped me with looking over the chapter to help me with corrections.

Cuz 2 pairs of eyes is always better than one.

That's it for now, I will come back at a later date with an edit.

 

Thank you so much! This made me feel great and yes I noticed the errors. I definitely need a beta.



 





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