358 replies to this topic

[Kyuzo Hatake]

Watch the video for last day on earth completely and you'll understand.

Kyuzo Hatake

[Shadow Wolf]

Hyuzo: Nice one buddy. That song is sad and really moving, and I have to admit that the artist look beautiful. Of course, I have to disagree with the fact about the sexiest woman alive but I'm sure you'll understand why.

Oh, and I would definitely recommend you to post these questions in you blog.

____________


"So am I, still waiting..."

Well, today is a day where I find myself lost in many different thoughts. On one part, I'm missing my darling very much and I'm happy at the same time because everything is going better than expected. On the other side, I'm thinking about the movie I saw last night and about how much I identify myself with the main character. And on the last part, I'm thinking about the fact that I'll be getting my own internet connection today.

Now, each topic is worth talking about so I hope I don't bore people with this, but if you do get bored, then I apologize.

___

"I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal."

When I think about how love grows each day even more, I can't help but realize that the closer we are to a person, the more we miss them and the more we want to make then happy. Is something so simple, yet so deep... to love someone with all you can give. It goes beyond just a feeling to transform into a decision and a promise. It is a big responsibility, but when you know that your beloved is about to make the same decision, the fact that you're both ready to face the future together and make this relationship last is something that no positive adjective is enough to describe. I'm not sure if I'm making a lot of sense here, but I guess is no wonder why I miss her and I love her so much.

Eden's Blessing

"My love is for you"
"Are you telling me the truth?"
A kiss was the proof!"
___

To anyone who has not seen it yet, I definitely recommended you the movie: "The Fighter" starring Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale.

But anyway, focusing on what I mentioned earlier. If you notice the struggle in the family portrayed in this movie, you'll see pretty much many aspects of my life. I won't comment a lot on the movie because I don't want to reveal spoilers but I have to say that I cried in this movie a few times because of the pain he has to go through for the sake of his family, which is somewhat similar to what the black sheep in the house has to go through sometimes in any family.
_____

Finally, today I'm setting up a new connection service in my house. I only have to pay a few dollars a month and hopefully, it won't be a problem to save that small amount of money. However, there's something I've been thinking about lately. Thanks to my lack of courage to take a stand, and thanks to how my family raised my little brother, my credit has hit rock bottom. However, what I hate the most is that they're still trying to make me become "the man of the house", which is obviously not my responsibility.

Now, what does the internet connection has to do with this? Easy... the connection is for the family, and therefore, I expect at least my dad to help me with the bill. However, I get the feeling that it won't be the case... again. That's why I'm considering the idea of moving from PR to the US... I want a life of my own now since I want to learn to live by myself even if it's the hard way and I want to provide a future for both mi amor and me.

The thing is... I lack both the resources and the courage to do something so big. And on the other hand, if I don't do it, I know I won't be able to move forward. Hehehe, now I know how hard it can be to make such a drastic decision. :ssweat:
____

Well, that's pretty much what's going on. Let's see what this day has in store. Until then, take care everyone!

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Shadow Wolf]

'Cause I want you, and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin...
(Nick Lachey - What's Left of Me)

Well, I find myself thinking deeply about taking the decision of moving into the US. Who would've known just how scared one can become of such a big decision. I have the encouragement, I have at least one of my parent's approval, and now all I have left is to make the plans happen (meaning to save money and to make the remaining preparations). But I'm just too damn afraid of taking that step. Why? I'm not sure... maybe because I'm thinking about dumb questions like: "what will happen if it goes wrong?", "what if I can't find a job?".... those "what if" questions which can make our will hesitate...

But on the other hand, if I don't take this choice, I probably won't be able to move forward. I've been in my house for 23 years and I'm sick of feeling like a burden to my family.

Well, until I can figure out how to transform the "I want" into "I'm going to", I'll carve the idea into my head as many times as I can.

Emotional moment aside, these days have been good. Everything seems to be improving nicely in my life and I'm glad to know that I'm also helping other people to live a life full of happiness.

Events:

-Got a haircut
-Bought two pair of sneakers
-Experienced for the first time the unpleasant sensation of having a rusty nail pierce my foot thumb (luckily, it was only the tip and I quickly proceeded to clean up the wound with alcohol and antibiotic).
-Currently on season 3 of Bleach (I hate Byakuya... nuff said)
-And of course, sharing memorable conversations.

Well, I hope no unexpected events happen today, hehehe. See you around everyone. Take care!

EDIT: Well, I was shaken today when I found out that my uncle (Dad's older brother) passed away. You could say that he was the funniest of my uncles so I'll miss him a lot. I... really am at a lack of words and tears... and I feel dumb for that. I noticed that I miss my loved ones when I can't see them in my everyday life and that's when my tears appear so... well... I feel kinda empty for not being able to cry right now. Despite that, I'll probably miss his funny salsa dances, his jokes and his funny advices. I'll miss you uncle José. May you rest in peace.

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

Edited by Shadow Wolf, 09 May 2012 - 03:23 AM.

[Shadow Wolf]

'Cause we lost it all
And nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Song: Simple Plan - Perfect

1:30am..... I can't sleep.

It's good I managed to fall asleep for a while from 11pm-12:30am.

This pretty much describes why. My parents weren't happy to put the emotional knife on me in my house. They had to tell the whole neighborhood about it.

As I came from Josue's house (my childhood friend who lives behind my house), I noticed that my parents were in a small group party where at least 10 people were). As I was walking by, I couldn't help but hear part of the conversation... they were burning me again... but this time, with all my neighbor's visitors. It's kinda ironic that I dropped psychology to get a one-year course in computers... all to look get out of college and look for a job faster and well... nothing makes them happy.

I could forgive them each weekend my father practically screamed at me while my mother said that I shouldn't mind him because he was drunk.... but this time... I'm not sure if I can since the pain is not letting me sleep.

I guess I better accelerate the plans to move to the US... or maybe I'll end up losing my mind.

...I can't stand it anymore. But I have to be strong since I have a purpose to create a future now, and I don't plan to let go of her.

I hope I can get sleepy again soon. Later!

Louis

[Shadow Wolf]

Well, let's kill some boredom.

One hundred truths about Shadow Wolf (credits to Konan-chan for the idea).

1-Real name: Luis Angel

2-Nicknames: Lou, Wolf, Bolin

3-Status: Dedicated to someone.

4-Zodiac Sign: Pisces

5-Male or female: Umm... male!

6-Elementary life: Letting Butterflies escape

7-Middle school life: Finding what were feeling exactly and how to cope with them

8-High School: Getting over a crush

9-Smart: Indeed

10-Hair color: Black

11-Long or short hair: On me: Short. On a girl: Long

12-Loud or quiet: On me, loud. On a girl: a bit introverted

13-Cargo pants or jeans: Jeans

14-Phone or camera: Phone with camera

15-Health freak: Not really.

16-Drink or smoke or neither: Neither

17-Crush on someone?: Requited so its more than that.

18-Like to eat or drink: Hmm... eat.

19-Piercings: Nah

20-Tatoos: Nope

21-Have you ever been in an airplane?: Yeah

22-Have you ever been in a car accident?: Ujum! Though I was always a passenger.

23-Have you ever been in a fist fight?: Nah, I'm not suited for physical violence.

24-First best friend?: Dad

25-First pet?: A tiny cute chick

26-First award?: Umm... First Prize in a science fair with a project about The Geometric Figures in our Daily Life (Gosh I cen't believe I
remembered the title).

27-First crush?: Dorielis if I'm not mistaken.

28-First big birthday?: Hmm, it could be when I was little... I don't know.

29-First big vacation?: Emm... I've never been into a big vacation.

30-First time hanging out with a friend?: I guess it was in 4th grade when I became friends with Luis Enrique.

31-Last person you talk to?: My dad

32-Last person you texted?: I don't have a cellphone.

33-Last person you watch movie with?: *thinks* The Avengers with Josue (neighbor and best friend)

34-Last movie you watched?: Death Race

35-Last food you ate?: Rice, red beans and fried chicken

36-Last song you listened to?: Umm... right now I'm listening to music so... N'sync - That's When I'll Stop Loving You

37-Last thing you brought?: Well, I brought the leaf rake inside after using it to clean my yard.

38-Last sweet you had?: Pop Tarts!

39-Favorite Food?: Rice with Chicken, "amarillitos", and juice (preferably orange, grape, fruit punch or sour ones like cranberry)

40-Favorite drink?: Coffee!

41-Favorite clothing style?: My own!

42-Music?: Every day!

43-Favorite Flower?: Hmm... I don't have one but *searches* OK, this one: Flower: Violet(blue). Meaning: Watchfulness; faithfulness; I'll
always be true

44-Favorite Color?: Blue

45-Favorite Movie?: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

46-Favorite subject?: Emm... Social Sciences.

47-Favorite person?: My darling

48-Favorite book?: The Art Of Loving

49-Favorite phrase?: I have two in my profile.

50-Favorite videos?: Hmm... Three music videos then: Shakira - Dia De Enero, Santana feat. Michelle Branch - The Game Of Love, Boys Like
Girls - HeroHeroine

51-Eating right now: Nothing

52-Drinking right now?: Nothing either

53-Doing right now?: writing the answer to this question.

54-About to?: Answer the nest one.

55-I'm listening to?: Breaking Benjamin - I Will Not Bow

56-Waiting for?: Getting drowsy to fall asleep

57-Career in mind?: Something that doesn't take me too much time so I can dedicate myself completely to love.

58-Ever wanted kids?: Yeah, but is not a big wish.

59-Which is better on a girl(boy for girls) lip or eyes?: Eyes because they tell the truth and more

60-Which is better for a girl(boy for girls) troublemaker or hestiant?: A balance between them both

61-Which is better for a girl(boy for girls) romantic or spontaneous?: Romantic.

62-Which is better for a girl(boy for girls) nice stomach or nice arms?: Nice stomach for sexy kisses.

63Which is better for a girl(boy for girls) sensitive or loud?: I guess sensitive since it will help be careful and make me treat her with care.

64-Prefer hook-up or relationship?: I'm always serious when it comes to romantic feelings so relationship

65-Have you ever wore glasses or contacts?: Both, though I now have cosmetic lens (for fun stuff to say it like that)

66-Have you ever tried or have ran away from home? Not really

67-Have you ever held a knife/ or gun before?: Yeah, but because my friend is a police and it was a way to teach me that holding one is serious
business (it was unloaded and with the lock so it was perfectly safe).

68-Have you ever kissed someone?: Nope.

69-Have you ever broken someone's heart?: Nope and I hope to never do something like that.

70-Do you believe in yourself?: Lately, yeah.

71-Do you believe in miracles?: Indeed! Just having someone so special is a miracle in itself

72-Do you believe in love in first sight?: I believe in impression at first sight, but love goes way beyond that.

73-Do you believe in heaven?: With a different definition but yes.

74-Do you believe in Santa Claus?: Nope

75-Is there one person you want to be with right now?: Oh yes!

76-Have you done something embarrassing?: Sometimes.

77-Do you believe in God?: Ujum!

78-Have you ever broken a promise?: It was a small one but yeah, I think I did.

79-Have you ever had your heart broken?: A few times, yeah.

80-Do you like Halloween?:Not really.

81-Do you like Christmas?: Kinda neutral when it comes to it.

82-Have you ever met someone who changed your life?: Indeed!

83-Did you ever had a job/ or have a job?: Yeah, a few and currently looking for one.

84-Do you hide secrets?: Hehehe.

85-Favorite pasttime: Umm... hobby? I guess manga, anime, and videogames

86-Have ever went over the minute on your phone?: I think I did once when I had a phone like that.

87-Have ever broken a promise?: See question 78 for the answer.

88-Have ever pretend to be sick?: Nah, I suck at lying.

89-Have cried over the silliest things?: In some situations, yeah.

90-Have sleep in front of the computer/laptop or t.v?: Not that I remember

91-Have ever been bullied?: Yeah, that was a disadvantage of being short.

92-Have ever gotten into trouble?: With my parents yeah, but not for anything else.

93-Favorite animals?: Dogs, Cats and Wolves

94-Have ever ran a whole mile without stopping?: Nope

95-Place that you always wanted to go?: A few countries in Europe.

96-Another language you would like to learn?: A difficult one.

97-Have ever broke something by an accident?: Hahaha, it happened a lot when I was a kid and it happens every now and then.

98-Most coolest thing you ever seen?: A Dodge Viper GTS passing by my side.

99-What would you try on improving?: Creating a future and setting the base for an ideal relationship.

100-Are you happy with your life right now?: Lately yeah.

Oh yeah, I forgot: tomorrow I'm going to check something about a possible job offer for the US in the morning. I hope it goes well. Hehehe, I hope I'm not missed too much. Take care!

Edited by Shadow Wolf, 15 May 2012 - 05:08 AM.

[Shadow Wolf]

Every smile makes you a day younger. ~Chinese Proverb

Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

Hehehe, that's what I'm trying to do right now, smile. I can't help but feel nervous whenever I have to check out a job application and today, I'm even more nervous than ever. I have to speak English this time and even though it will be useful practice for me if I want to go to USA someday, I can't help but feel nervous at it. Hehehe, well, the only thing left to do is try.

Well, not much has happened in these last days. I've been playing a few games, doing some chores, and having some crazy dreams. Lats nightmare was pretty cool since I was fighting a demonic version of me (much like a dark Naruto or a Hollow Ichigo). The funny factor? I was fighting him over my blanket.

He was preventing me from going to sleep and even though he might've looked scary, he made me lose my patience. Taking a deep breath, I released a loud scream which... not only did it scare him off, but it also woke me up from my own dream.

Oh yeah, and I've been secretly watching FoolishYoungling to learn some cheer-leading skills (sorry for spying on you buddy). I needed some tips so I could encourage my darling. She was going through a lot of stress lately because of some events and that helped me cheer her up. So even though you didn't notice me, I thank you for helping me Jordan.

That's all for now. I'll leave you with a phrase and a question about it: is it true?

When a girl is in love, you can see it in her smile; when a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes.

Take care everyone! Later!

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Shadow Wolf]

It's been a pretty fun ride, to tell you the truth. (R. Lee Ermey)

Well, this weekend was pretty nice. I met again with a childhood friend, made a new one and had a lot of fun.

Hehehe, it was sudden to know that the Puerto Rico Comic Con was on this weekend. Rushing to get a ticket may make one a bit anxious, but the fun lies in the rush you get when you finally have the ticket in your hands.

Saturday was the day. We got lost on the road there but found our way to the Comic Con 20 minutes later (after driving for two hours, getting lost while almost there can be fun and annoying at the same time).

But once you get there, you forget that you got lost on the way and simply focus on one thing: Enjoying yourself and all the things the Comic Con has to offer.

Well, I just won't speak further. Let the pictures show you the joy of being in a Comic Con.

http://www.narusaku....mp;#entry390299

Later everyone!

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Shadow Wolf]

Ah, wow... its been a while since I updated my blog.

Well, I guess I wasn't sure of what to write so I just chose to do some other stuff.

But well, its been a few days so I guess I can write a few new things:

-First of all, the plans to move to the US are finally starting to take place. Now I have to get serious and really get moving if I want to make them come true. I have a place to stay, a chance for work, and now all I need is to buy the plane ticket and save some money to pay at least the first month of rent. I may not be entirely ready to become a fully independent person, but time won't wait for me so I'll have to stay positive and focus on the task at hand.

-On the hobby side, I just beat the single player campaign of Portal 2 on PC. The game makes your mind get some nice exercise and you'll get a few surprises to keep you addicted to the game. I recommend this one to any person who loves figuring things out.

-On the fantasy side: my last dream was kinda weird. To make it straight to the point, my dream was about an SR-71 Blackbird landing on one of my favorite fried chicken restaurants.

-And finally, on the self meditation side: I've been a bit thoughtful about how my relationship is going. I have a truly kind and loving girl with me but for some reason, there was a moment in which I became unsure of myself, and therefore, jealous. It wasn't intentional, since I was having a lot of problems on that week (mostly relating to my family), but even so, that is no excuse for my insecurity. Now I'm left wondering if I'm really the man she deserves. I want her happiness above everything, and I'm willing to do almost anything for her, but I must show unconditional trust if I want to say that i truly love her. I hope that this helps me learn the value of trusting the person you love, because if there's one thing which keeps me going in life, is the fact that I love her very much.

Well, that's pretty much on the wolf howling at the moon tonight. Take care everyone and I'll be writing to you later.

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Shadow Wolf]

Heh... wow... almost one month with no updates... my bad.

But in all honesty, not much has been going on. In any case, I'll just summarize a few events:

1-I'm an uncle again. That's my adorable niece (Dainimar), who keeps me awake until this hour, just so I can wait until she wakes up to help my sister with her feeding. Hahaha, it's funny that I find babies to be so fragile (hence why I don't like babies that much) and yet I care so much for her. Oh yeah, and the mood at home improved drastically ever since her being here.

2-The trip plans have been postponed for one single reason: money. I'm still waiting for a payment related to a chore I do periodically but I guess I can't do much about it except wait. Anyway, job seeking was cancelled for a while after an unfortunate event which made me feel utterly useless. Hopefully, there's a new opportunity which I'll be taking chance of very soon. Hope I can nail it this time.

3-Finally, today is a special day for me since 5 months ago I got to know someone very special to me. So yeah, I'll go to sleep with a big smile today, hehehe. Though things don't always go according to plan... I couldn't enjoy a single minute with my darling today, hehehehe.

Anyway, not much has happened, really. So to make my posts a bit less boring, I'll just write a few random questions:

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Making a video with the laptop camera

2. Who are you in love with?
With someone special, of course.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
As far as I remember, nope

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
My room is dark and I'm lazy, but I don't think so.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Today. I went with a friend since he wanted me to help him buy some Xbox 360 games.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Nope

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
Hahaha, I wish.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
I think about three weeks ago.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Negative

10. Are you hot?
I don't think so.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
I drank water a few minutes ago

12. What are you wearing right now?
Sleeveless and jeans

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
My car is currently out of service, but I usually wash it myself.

14. Last food that you ate?
Chinese rice, French fries and Fried Chicken,

15. Where were you last week at this time?
Probably sleeping

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Hmm.... I'm not sure. I did bought a picic of clothing, but I think it was a week and a few more days ago.

17. When is the last time you ran?
I honestly can't remember.

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
A basketball game between Nigeria and Greece. Epic game that one.

19. What is your favorite animal?
*points at username*

20. Your dream vacation?
Japan or Venice

21. Last person's house you were in?
Edge's house (a friend of mine) playing Borderlands.

22. Worst injury you've ever had?
A scar I have in my upper lip after my cousin accidentally ran over me with his bicycle

23. Have you been in love?
I am right now. Does that counts?

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
You can be sure of that.

25. Last play you saw?
Um can't remember.

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Hah, I'm not the type to do that so I don't have anything like that.

27. What are your plans for tonight?
Sleep.

28. Who is the last person you sent a Facebook message or comment?
Hmm... I can't remember right now. I do remember that I poked a friend of mine, but that's it.

29. Next trip you are going to take?
None at the moment

30. Ever go to camp?
Nope.

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
I did have good grades, but there wasn't any program like that in my school.

32. What do you want to know about the future?
Nothing in particular.

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Not right now.

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
I don't think so

35. Where is your best friend?
On the other side of the world, hehehehe.

36. How is your best friend?
At this time? probably hungry, hahahahaha.

37. Do you have a tan?
Nope

38. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of my fan.

39. Do you collect anything?
Constructable cars (upper shelf) and some random collections (middle shelf).

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
There's a program called "SuperXclusivo". The host of the program is probably the biggest gossiper I know.

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
A really long time ago.

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Usually the ones from fast foods.

43. What does your last text message say?
No cellphone... no text messages.

44. Do you like hot sauce?
Depends with what I eat it with.

45. Last time you took a shower?
A few hours ago.

46. Do you need to do laundry?
Not really

47. What is your heritage?
Puertorrican squared I guess...

48. Are you someone's best friend?
Indeed.

49. Are you rich?
Money? No. Love? Yeah.

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
Playing some games as I awaited for my niece to wake up to help with her feeding.

Edited by Shadow Wolf, 13 July 2012 - 12:51 AM.

[Shadow Wolf]

These last days have been kinda tense. Not only bad luck seems to be by my side, but also it seems that I'm an expert on doing the opposite of what I'm supposed to do to make my loved ones smile. Right now, I'm at the point of doing one of two things: either have an emotional explosion in which I will probably express my problems with a high probability of hurting others in the process (including my darling), or I could just isolate myself for a while and wait until my emotions dissipate (probably either listening to music, crying it off, or just expressing it in a poem) so I can prevent myself from hurting others anymore.

I'll probably do the latter, so there's a chance that I'm not around the next week. Not that it matters though, I don't think I will be missed much around here, hehehe. Anyway, I'll just say one more thing: no matter what happens, I must say that I'm grateful for the ones who have been kind to me in the forum. And well, I won't say that you don't need to worry, but I can do say that no matter where I am, you are still in my thoughts.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm either neglecting you or abandoning you. Believe me, that is clearly not what I want. I just tired of people getting hurt because of me.

Take care everyone! And like this song says: missing you will be my need.



(These are the lyrics with the translation: http://lyricstransla...me-Salvame.html)

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Shadow Wolf]

Well, I thought of doing this for a while, just to make sure that I didn’t leave any feelings inside of me.

Sunday, I ended the getting-to-know period with her. It seems she has lost interest in me. I’m not sure of the reason, but I guess part of it was due to many circumstances combined, the top being the fact that she was overwhelmed by problems and that I couldn’t be there for her.
I still feel a bit sour that she took all this time to tell me this, but I guess that’s understandable. We never want to hurt people, and when our feelings change, we fear hurting them by telling the truth, because at one time, we did loved them. And like a phrase says: “Better late than never, right?”

Well, I don’t know how I feel right now… on one part, I feel sad. I have shed more tears than I have had with any previous crush, obviously. But believe it or not, it was because I didn’t know what to think. I have been played many times, and I was afraid that I was being played again. The uncertainty and the fear made my heart bleed.

However, now that I finally know the truth, it makes me happy for two reasons:

-She is the first person to be honest with me about this

-By finally knowing what was happening, I felt like a heavy burden (the heavy burden of uncertainty) was removed from me.

It is still sad, but I’m glad that I was told the truth. That is worth a lot.

Now, as I keep my gifts and my bracelet stored, I wonder what will happen from now on. I want to keep the friendship, but it’s kinda difficult to suddenly think of the person I loved most as a friend. She is my best friend, but she was more than that. And well, I guess it may take a while for me to process this. I truly hope that I can overcome this, since she’s a kind and friendly person. Still, it can be difficult to kill all hopes from one day to another.

Still, I think I might have said some selfish things before closing this chapter. Hence why I hope that I can be forgiven for that. Thoughts can be clouded when a person has pulled an all-nighter due to thinking too much, and I think I might have suffered the consequences of it. Of course, I always think too much so there’s also a chance that this might happen in this occasion too.

In any case, one thing remains unchanged: I really hope that she can be the happiest woman in the world. To me, she deserves it.

As for me… well, let’s just say that I don’t think I will shed any more tears. I’m satisfied with the fact that I gave everything for her, and if I did something wrong, I trust that she will tell me and thus, help me improve if I fall for someone else in the future. That’s what friends are for, right?

Well, is currently 9:08pm as I finish these words. I guess she’s probably sleeping and well, I still kinda hope that she’s having sweet dreams… but alas, I don’t want to sound as if I’m holding on to a reality that may not happen again. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but for now, I’ll hold on to what I know today, which can be summarized into the following translation of one of my favorite intro songs:

We frolicked and showered in the sparkling water
But the happy days go by in time
I trust my love and just have to go on now
Keeping the important word to myself, going my way.

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[T XD]

Luis ( it's ok if i call u that right ? ) i didn't know u have a blog before XD
so how's everything and ur moving to US ?

Edited by T XD, 12 August 2012 - 05:41 PM.

[narulsaku]

hey you are really moving to us or jurt a joke

[Dragunov]

Well, I thought of doing this for a while, just to make sure that I didn’t leave any feelings inside of me.

Sunday, I ended the getting-to-know period with her. It seems she has lost interest in me. I’m not sure of the reason, but I guess part of it was due to many circumstances combined, the top being the fact that she was overwhelmed by problems and that I couldn’t be there for her.
I still feel a bit sour that she took all this time to tell me this, but I guess that’s understandable. We never want to hurt people, and when our feelings change, we fear hurting them by telling the truth, because at one time, we did loved them. And like a phrase says: “Better late than never, right?”

Well, I don’t know how I feel right now… on one part, I feel sad. I have shed more tears than I have had with any previous crush, obviously. But believe it or not, it was because I didn’t know what to think. I have been played many times, and I was afraid that I was being played again. The uncertainty and the fear made my heart bleed.

However, now that I finally know the truth, it makes me happy for two reasons:

-She is the first person to be honest with me about this

-By finally knowing what was happening, I felt like a heavy burden (the heavy burden of uncertainty) was removed from me.

It is still sad, but I’m glad that I was told the truth. That is worth a lot.

Now, as I keep my gifts and my bracelet stored, I wonder what will happen from now on. I want to keep the friendship, but it’s kinda difficult to suddenly think of the person I loved most as a friend. She is my best friend, but she was more than that. And well, I guess it may take a while for me to process this. I truly hope that I can overcome this, since she’s a kind and friendly person. Still, it can be difficult to kill all hopes from one day to another.

Still, I think I might have said some selfish things before closing this chapter. Hence why I hope that I can be forgiven for that. Thoughts can be clouded when a person has pulled an all-nighter due to thinking too much, and I think I might have suffered the consequences of it. Of course, I always think too much so there’s also a chance that this might happen in this occasion too.

In any case, one thing remains unchanged: I really hope that she can be the happiest woman in the world. To me, she deserves it.

As for me… well, let’s just say that I don’t think I will shed any more tears. I’m satisfied with the fact that I gave everything for her, and if I did something wrong, I trust that she will tell me and thus, help me improve if I fall for someone else in the future. That’s what friends are for, right?

Well, is currently 9:08pm as I finish these words. I guess she’s probably sleeping and well, I still kinda hope that she’s having sweet dreams… but alas, I don’t want to sound as if I’m holding on to a reality that may not happen again. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but for now, I’ll hold on to what I know today, which can be summarized into the following translation of one of my favorite intro songs:

We frolicked and showered in the sparkling water
But the happy days go by in time
I trust my love and just have to go on now
Keeping the important word to myself, going my way.

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[James S Cassidy]

I think you need to return Shadow Wolf. Eventually, things must be forgiven. Eventually, things must laid to rest in the past where they should be. This life is too short to live a life lie that.

If anyone dares to criticize, then I challenge them. How many of you have messed up in there life? I don't mean silly mistakes like forgetting to go to class or getting a ticket. I mean, those huge mistakes that you believe just completely ruined your image. Mistakes that you know you f**cked up and can't change back.

I have. I have made such mistakes myself. Some I can never take back. Some I am taking back as we speak. Some I am still paying for, but it shouldn't stop me from living my life. Nor should it stop Shadow from coming to this place

[James S Cassidy]

I'll am going to post everyday till you return. Even if you don't, at least to keep a memory.

Edited by James S Cassidy, 21 August 2012 - 08:10 PM.

[James S Cassidy]

Life is war and we are all soldiers.

[James S Cassidy]

Bark at the moon

Edited by James S Cassidy, 06 September 2012 - 11:36 PM.

[CloudMountainJuror]

I must have missed something... he left?

[James S Cassidy]

I must have missed something... he left?

Yeah, but nevermind on why he left. It's better to leave that story out and I am not allowed to say, but I don't think it matters anyway. I am just trying to show that he is always remembered and welcome on this site.

Trying to get him back so to speak. This was the friend I was talking about in my blog.