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#1 desaix

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 04:15 AM

It's been a long time since I really did anything in the Naruto fanfiction universe... and I'm not able to write (or to post anything I do write) at the moment. I feel like issuing a fanfiction challenge, however, so I might as well try here. Especially since a lot of the better NaruSaku fanfiction has\is drying up, a bit, so anything which might inspire a burst of more fanfics seems like a good idea.

This is a form of challenge I've seen in other series' fanfiction (Harry Potter, Ranma, a few others). The idea is for the challenger (me, in this case) to give a list of lines for each character that they wouldn't ever say, or at least would be something you would probably never expect to hear them say. The writer accepting the challenge is supposed to try and incorporate as many of these lines as they can in as believable a way as possible -- the more crack-fic it gets, the less acceptable it becomes insofar as meeting this challenge (humor is fine, mind -- in fact, is encouraged -- but crack-fic and\or making the characters massively out of character to get them to say the lines is not). Using all the lines is probably impossible (especially since several of the characters are dead at the points others appeared in the manga, or some of the lines only work in part 1 but not part 2, and visa versa), but try and use as many as you can in one fic.

With that in mind, here is my list in the spoiler box below. (I can't think of lines for everyone, especially for the members of Akatsuki\Team Sasuke\etc., but I think there's more than enough lines)


Naruto:
1. How can you possibly eat so much ramen? Try your vegetables!
2. Shannaro!
3. Kakashi-sensei! You're early!
Sakura:
1. Sexy no jutsu!
2. Dettabayo!
3. Naruto, could you get me a signed copy of the latest Icha Icha book?
4. Yes, the carpet matches the drapes. Want to see?
Sai
1. I think I'm in love!
2. Let me give you some romantic advice...
3. (to Tsunade) Hi, breastless!
Sasuke
1. I love you.
2. (post-Uchiha massacre) I have the best big brother in the whole world!
3. You know what? My clan deserved to be destroyed.
Kakashi
1. To hell with teamwork!
2. If I don't make it at least two hours early, I will run five hundred laps around the village!
Lee
1. Gai-sensei... your eyebrows look ridiculous!
2. Do I have to practice, today? I was going to watch the clouds.
3. Let's go blow up some squirrels!
4. Neji... you are within the range of my divination!
Tenten
1. Why don't I have a last name?
2. Who needs weapons, anyway?
Neji
1. It was long ago decreed by fate that I must go to the bathroom!
2. Fourth gate... open!
Gai
1. Lee-kun... your eyebrows look ridiculous!
2. The wisdom of old age triumphs over the power of youth! (...actually, this sounds almost like something he'd really say)
Hinata
1. Kiba, fetch!
2. U-um, K-kiba... why are you sniffing my b-butt?
Kiba
1. I want a pet cat.
2. I think I'm allergic to Akamaru...
Shino
1. I hate it when ants get into my picnic basket.
Kurenai
1. He's dead? Well, I guess I'll get that abortion after all.
Ino
1. I wish I had naturally pink hair, too....
2. Choji Akimichi, I challenge you to an eating contest!
Shikamaru
1. Alright, you lazy (censored)! Get to work! You don't see me acting lazy all the time, do you?
2. The lotus of Konoha blooms twice.
3. Chess? Not right now. How about poker?
Chouji
1. No, thanks -- I'm on a diet.
2. People only call themselves big-boned as an excuse, you know -- you really are a fatso.
Gaara
1. (after being made Kazekage) I'm going to bed. Wake me after Shukaku destroys the entire village.
2. I never understood why father never let mother hug him.
Temari
1. Trust me -- when it comes to battle fans, size doesn't matter.
2. Like, um, math is hard and junk, so why don't you figure it out for me, Shikamaru?
Kankuro
1. I agree -- the pink face-paint looks much better than purple.
2. Puppet shows are so boring.
Jiraiya
1. Look at all the pretty naked men....
2. That was the tastiest set of frogs legs I've ever had.
Shizune
1. Let's all get drunk!
Tsunade
1. Jiraiya, why don't you ever peep on me?
2. I can't go drinking, now -- do you see how much paperwork I have on my desk?
Danzo
1. You emotionless bastards cannot stand against my will of fire!
Orochimaru
1. Sasuke... show me the sexy no jutsu again!
2. Techniques, techniques, techniques... is that all you want? Extreme determination trumps techniques every time!
Itachi
1. Why did I massacre my entire clan? Well... funny story, actually. It was all an accident.
Zabuza
1. Want me to buy you a new dress, Haku? (Haku must be a male to include this one)
Konan
1. And just why am I the only woman here, huh? And don't tell me about Deidara, because we all know she's really a man!

You haven't experienced the full cofusion of modern gender relations until you've heard an angry group of women yelling, "We want tentacles!" at an all-night Hentai-fest.

-Tonbo
 

You can find my original fiction, facebook, twitter, and other ways to contact me on my website, FennecFoxPress.com


#2 CloudMountainJuror

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 04:31 AM

Alright, I'm sorry if this is off-topic, but that list you gave us is HILARIOUS laugh.gif 111189.gif I laughed a lot while reading it. Very good creativity.
Good luck to whoever decides to take on this challenge. happy.gif

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#3 desaix

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 09:32 PM

QUOTE (zacrathedemon5 @ Jun 1 2010, 12:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Alright, I'm sorry if this is off-topic, but that list you gave us is HILARIOUS laugh.gif 111189.gif I laughed a lot while reading it. Very good creativity.
Good luck to whoever decides to take on this challenge. happy.gif


Honestly, I wasn't too happy with this list. I started posing this challenge with only four lines, total (the bathroom one from Neji, Ino challenging Choji to an eating contest, Gaara asking people to wake him after Shukaku's done destroying the village, and Temari's "size doesn't matter" comment. Oh, and Tenten stammering "Why don't I have a last name, anyway?" was a part of a snipped remnant of the Drunken!Tenten lines from Training for the Job; I decided it didn't really fit there, even though Tenten really doesn't have a last name in that fic), and struggled to come up with enough others to fill out the number needed for this challenge. There were also several people (like the Sandaime, Asuma, Yamato, etc.) who I wanted to figure out lines for but couldn't. It didn't help that I was trying to avoid pairing bias in most\all of the lines (I suppose there were a couple that were pairing-biased, but they could be used in a pairing-neutral way as well).

Still, like I said, plenty of lines in there that could be used for a challenge. And glad you found it funny, even if no-one ever writes a fic for it.

You haven't experienced the full cofusion of modern gender relations until you've heard an angry group of women yelling, "We want tentacles!" at an all-night Hentai-fest.

-Tonbo
 

You can find my original fiction, facebook, twitter, and other ways to contact me on my website, FennecFoxPress.com


#4 Cupcake-chan

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 10:09 PM

Damn I can't get this smile of my face XD

#5 James S Cassidy

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 01:40 AM

Hahaha I love it when you have Sakura say "The carpet does match the drapes." The perverted side of me really wants to see that.

Naruto:
-I am like Goku and Jesus rolled into one
-Hey Sakura, want to have a shadow clone threesome?

Kakashi:
-Teenagers scare the living sh-- out of me.
-In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. (This is to make fun of his one sharengon)
-(To Naruto) I got pictures of Sakura in the shower, wanna' see?

Sakura:
-Sorry Naruto, but I realized I am really in love with Ino.

Sasuke:
-Singing "Living in the sunshine" by Tiny-Tim.
-I am my own monster.

Madara
-Tobi is a naughty boy. hehehe

Deidara
-So if I masturbate, would I be giving myself oral sex?

Gaara
-(To Sasuke) Shut up will you...shut up.

Pein
-I am so awesome, I could have a gangbang by myself.
-I could run my own basketball team.

Kiba
-I hate dogs.
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#6 catsi563

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 02:22 AM

QUOTE
Sakura:
-Sorry Naruto, but I realized I am really in love with Ino


even more mind blowing

Sakura:

~Naruto! I wont lose Hinata to you!
My dear you deserve a great wizard, but im afraid you'll have to settle for services of a second rate pick pocket - Smendrick The Last Unicorn

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#7 ShippudenGirl

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 02:38 AM

QUOTE (catsi563 @ Jun 2 2010, 03:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
even more mind blowing

Sakura:

~Naruto! I wont lose Hinata to you!


Made my day! XD

#8 Cupcake-chan

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 03:18 AM

Shino: Quick, hand me the pesticide!

#9 Gravenimage

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 03:36 AM

Sasuke: I hate revenge I realize I love Sakura.

Naruto: ramen is disgustin I want to try some healthy vegetables.

Zetsu: I'm a vegetarian

Deidara: I want to be a real artist I want to become a painter.

Hidan: I'm a christian bless the lord Jesus Christ.

Kakuzu: money is for idiots.

Killer Bee: screw rapping I want to become a rock star!

Samui: I want to be a Playboy model.

Tsunade: I hate alcohol and gambling is ilegal.

Tenten: all I want is soul edge that's a real weapon.

Chouji: I finally lost weight thank you Jenny Graig.

Sasori: Pinochio became a real boy I want to become a real boy too!

Konan: I am angry because I originally casted for the series Read or Die but my contract was sold to that fool Kishimoto.

Naruto(again): Kyuubi I choose you!

Hinata: why do I want Naruto-kun when I can have a real man I love you Kakashi!

Pain: to hell with peace I want war baby yeah!
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#10 Toasty Warrior

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 03:49 AM

Jiraiya: Time to start writing children books!

Sasuke: I should ditch my revenge and return Sakura's feelings!

Naruto: Sorry Sakura, but I'm in love with Hinata after her confession to me.

Sakura: Naruto would you like to go on a date with me?

Tsunade: It's time I start going to AA meetings!

Shikamaru: I'm tried of sitting around and being lazy!

Hinata: Maybe I should start stalking Kiba instead of Naruto-kun.

Kakashi: I should read something more educational than these adult novels.

Edited by FullMetalMac, 02 June 2010 - 04:00 AM.

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#11 Gravenimage

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 04:11 AM

QUOTE (FullMetalMac @ Jun 1 2010, 07:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Jiraiya: Time to start writing children books!

Sasuke: I should ditch my revenge and return Sakura's feelings!

Naruto: Sorry Sakura, but I'm in love with Hinata after her confession to me.

Sakura: Naruto would you like to go on a date with me?

Tsunade: It's time I start going to AA meetings!

Shikamaru: I'm tried of sitting around and being lazy!

Hinata: Maybe I should start stalking Kiba instead of Naruto-kun.

Kakashi: I should read something more educational than these adult novels.


The Sakura asking Naruto on a date it can happen in the actual manga so it doesn't count as a funny line.
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#12 desaix

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 04:16 AM

*cough* Um, the challenge actually wasn't to write these lines, but rather to write a fanfic using these lines...

But who am I to spoil the fun?

You haven't experienced the full cofusion of modern gender relations until you've heard an angry group of women yelling, "We want tentacles!" at an all-night Hentai-fest.

-Tonbo
 

You can find my original fiction, facebook, twitter, and other ways to contact me on my website, FennecFoxPress.com


#13 Toasty Warrior

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 04:18 AM

QUOTE (Gravenimage @ Jun 1 2010, 09:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The Sakura asking Naruto on a date it can happen in the actual manga so it doesn't count as a funny line.


Well after denying him so many times, I though it would be a funny line, but you have a point.

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#14 James S Cassidy

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 01:14 PM

QUOTE (desaix @ Jun 1 2010, 08:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
*cough* Um, the challenge actually wasn't to write these lines, but rather to write a fanfic using these lines...

But who am I to spoil the fun?


Yeah, but this is a lot more fun.

Tried to write a fan-fic, but failed and so decided just to write my own lines.

Neji
-Taz likes spinning. (If you all gt this joke bravo)
-Massage anyone?

Rock Lee
-Can I have a glass of WATAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
-These tights ride really high.
-Wow, now I know how Robin feels.
-(with Gai) We're men....men in tights. We roam around the woods looking for fights.

Kisame
-Mmmm I love fishsticks
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#15 Black Rose

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 02:27 PM

I...I...can't stop laughing!!! XD XD XD Enough, guys, enough! Please, mercy! Those lines are hilarious!!! XDD

 

 


#16 CloudMountainJuror

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Posted 03 June 2010 - 12:41 AM

Naruto:
Ramen? No... Juicy Juice.

Gaara:
The Sandman is here to put you to sleep...forever.

Lee:
Naruto's half right when he calls me Bushy Brow, but I'm bushier somewhere else... *wink wink*

Deidara:
If you can dodge a clay bomb, you can dodge a ball!

Jaraiya:
I think I'm gay.

Asuma:
I'm really an alcoholic.

Tsunade:
CAN'T READ MY POKER FACE~

Choji:
Potato chips taste terrible.

Sakura:
Black is the new pink.

Ino:
I have a crush on Choji.

Shikamaru:
Men are such a drag.

Tayuya:
Screw the flute, I want a ****ing guitar!

Kimimaro:
One bone I possess is only used when I'm exited...

Hidan:
I'm an atheist.

Kakuzu:
Money isn't everything... It's the thought that counts.

Konan:
I hate flowers.

Kisame:
I can't swim...

Anko:
I'm still a virgin.

Hinata:
I love you Lee!

Itachi (nearly blind):
I can't see much anymore...so I saved myself some money by switching to Geico.

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#17 catsi563

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Posted 03 June 2010 - 01:04 AM

from the file labeld slightly perverted

Yamato: I give good wood

Konan: who says paper media is dead?

Sai: im upgrading to laser jet

Pein: only those who are told bad jokes can know true pain.

Tsunade:

*pointing at kakashi holding a rasengan* hes got big balls

Sakura:

*pointing at Naruto holding an odama rasengan* and hes got big balls

Tsunade and Sakura: in unison

*pointing at Jiraiya holding a gigantic rasengan* But hes got the biggest, balls of them all.

Anko: Snakes; why did it have to be snakes?
My dear you deserve a great wizard, but im afraid you'll have to settle for services of a second rate pick pocket - Smendrick The Last Unicorn

..(^)> PENGUIN!!!!
C(...)D
..m.m

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new pair of gloves 20 ryou

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#18 Sherry

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Posted 03 June 2010 - 10:50 AM

yknow I was kinda th_twitchsmile.gif

Naruto: could you guys be quiet? I'm understanding the theory of relativity here

Sakura: what?? sweets?? No, I could be a big girl if I eat them

Sasuke: Narutooooo miss you much much iluvff.gif *get Itachi off

Kakashi: does this lipstick's color fit me?

Sai: Yamato-taichou, I'm out of paper and I need your wood to make the new ones

Yamato: *trying to wink out with new eyelashes *_*

#19 desaix

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 05:53 AM

Okay, figured out another one (kinda perverted, but not explicit... and somewhat scarily in character):

Itachi: You have been caught inside of my tsukoyomi. I will be torturing you for the next seventy two hours.
Anko: 72 hours of hardcore bondage and domination starring myself? SWEET!

(by the way... is ANYONE going to actually try and take this challenge? Or are you all only interested in writing the lines?)

Edited by desaix, 08 June 2010 - 05:54 AM.

You haven't experienced the full cofusion of modern gender relations until you've heard an angry group of women yelling, "We want tentacles!" at an all-night Hentai-fest.

-Tonbo
 

You can find my original fiction, facebook, twitter, and other ways to contact me on my website, FennecFoxPress.com


#20 Muffins?

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 07:14 AM

Anko: I'm tired of these mother f***ing snakes on this mother f***ing plane!

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