4 replies to this topic

[SageNaru]

I wasn't sure where to put this so I put it here. Sorry if it's in the wrong place.

MY girlfriend keeps being approached by guys asking for her number and she gives it to them she says she does that just so they can leave her alone and I believe that cause she's not "that" kind of girl. She also just got asked out on a date by one of her co-workers/friends and she said no to the date but that she would still hang out with them. Is it ok for me to be angry about this? I told her that he might take it as her giving him a chance to try to win her over, but she said she didn't mean it like that and I know SHE didn't but he might. So I don't know what to do to fix this and I'm starting to get mad at the fact that she gives away her number like it was nothing and everything else! Please help me resolve this! I'm usually good at solving problems like this but this time I just can't and need some help or advice on what I should do. Please please help! And Thank you in advance.

[Sakura Blossoms]

You need to have a *serious* talk with your girlfriend. She's showing you obvious disrespect by constantly giving out her number. If she is with *you* what good reason does she have to be giving her number out to other men. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem right. She's playing games and that's stupid on her part. You need to be more firm and assertive, and tell her that you are *not* okay with what she's doing. And that while you're asking her 'nicely' to *stop* you are still asking her to quit it.

[KonaKonaFan]

What SakuraBlossoms said. It's disrespectful, hurtful, and just plain rude. You guys need to have a SERIOUS talk.

[ciardha]

There's another possibility of what's going from what I'm picking up from what you've said about your girlfriend and your assurance that she's not doing this to flirt with other guys. It sounds like sexual harassment situations to me. Your girlfriend's comment that she gives her number "so they'll leave her alone" is a neon sign that she feels sexually harassed by these guys. Most girls aren't socialized to stand up to guys- what happens when girl does- she's called the b word, young women especially are afraid being labeled as a b... Many young woman aren't even aware they are in a sexual harassment situation, they just know they just want the guy that's bugging them to go away, and often it can even be a guy they like as a friend or a coworker that does this.

Now the hard part- how to handle those situations. If you're a feminist woman like me (and I was in my teens and twenties too) you say no to them and walk away.

[krisk]

dump that-



nah man jk. few things that come to mind though:

1) you've gotta ask her again WHY she's giving out her number to these fellers. If she believes that she could befriend them and gain another bud in her flist, that's cool, but she has to understand that some guys see this as getting their foot in the door. Your lady friend needs to understand that her number is essentially the equivalent to a 'get out of jail free' card. I REALLY don't understand the mentality that her giving what they want = what she wants.

2) ciadhra mentioned about sexual harassment. It's a disgusting thing and i've heard too many accounts of women being subjected to this behavior to brush it off so quickly. If what your gf says is true, I believe her (albeit not understanding) BUT she needs to handle this in another way. Again she needs to try to get up the nerve to say "no." It's not that hard, one simple word. If she states it with enough conviction, she's set.

3) although if #2 doesn't work, only advice I've got is for her to give out a fake number. She never sees the dude again and you don't have to worry anymore. Also if she does become uh... brazen enough, tell her NEVER to engage the guy. Wrong move, and if she's alone that can lead to serious trouble.


ah and on-topic, you being mad? talk to her. let the girl know what the heck you're feeling, sir. If she doesn't know, she continues to do it and you continue to be mad and THE CYCLE NEVER ENDS. good luck!



remember, fake numbers. for alittle more kick tell her to try memorizing and sharing a rejection hotline number :D