I just finally put up one of my fanfics (oneshot) and I thought I'd share since its NaruSaku!
Sleeping Through Revelry![smile.gif](http://www.narusaku.com/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Overall it's a good story, but some constructive critiquing on a few points- as tips for future fanfics of yours:
The first one is just a general critique not just addressed to you- it's a kind of irritating thing I've seen creep into fanfic lately that comes from porn, not reality or even the Naruto manga: having female characters sleep naked.
(In the real world it's extremely uncommon for women not in a regular sexual relationship to sleep naked- heck, even in sexual relationships women tend to go to bed in far more clothes than men do- teddies, sleepshirts and underwear, pjs, nightgowns, etc...)
We absolutely know Sakura does not sleep nude. At least twice in the manga she's been shown waking up in bed or getting ready for bed in part 2 of the manga- once in a sleep yukata (at the hot springs), and once in what look like a variant of her part 1 tunic at home- when she was looking at the Team 7 picture.
Sakura actually seems to be even more self-conscious about her body (and perhaps other women's bodies too in a nonmedical situation) than even Hinata is- even around her female friends Sakura seems to be inhibited about being nude around them- we see this in both hot springs pictures Kishimoto has illustrated her in part 2. Around the female strangers she stands turned away from the other women and with even her breasts completely underwater. With her female age peers she turns her back to them, hiding both the front of her body from them and perhaps to avoid seeing them nude in a nonmedical situation.
(We also know Naruto actually still wears full pjs at home in part 2 of the manga- from when Sakura comes by his apartment to take him to the meeting with Tsunade.)
Second point is that Sakura reaction to the situation is a bit too stereotypical tsundere- not fitting her character, especially not the Sakura we've seen around Naruto from chapter 343 onward. Look as well as her words to Naruto in chapter 469-70, what she says about being in Naruto's arms.... She's definitely not going to decide it's all his fault- that's just never been part of her personality even in early part 1. She never has blamed him for her own situations. No displaced anger at him at all- in fact she tends to be rather overly judgmental of herself instead, and believe that overly harsh judgement is how people see her, this to a crippling extent in part 1, still a private weakness in part 2.
Third point- You set up a premise and don't truly explain why they were blanking out or have Sakura react to this medical mystery in a way her character would tend to- she is an elite medic ninja, already more skilled and knowledgeable than Tsunade was at her age, she would have known exactly what drugs would have made them blank out and tested both Naruto and herself for traces of any of those drugs. She would have researched this mystery relentlessly until she discovered the answer. (This was the point that troubled me the most about your fic)
Fourth point- Kakashi? No way.
![wink.gif](http://www.narusaku.com/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
She knows he's a perv, he's a guy, and he's not a medical ninja. All these points would totally rule him out as the person she would go to. She would go to Ino, Tsunade or Shizune. The typical choice for fanfic writers would be Tsunade or Ino (and either would be believable) , but I could almost see Shizune more in this circumstance, plus fanfic writers rarely choose her in the type plotline where she needs advice, even though Kishimoto has established she does have an emotional bond to Shizune as well.
Dream you dream alone is only a dream, but dream we dream together is reality- Yoko Ono 1971
When you go to war, both sides lose totally- Yoko Ono
Remember, our hearts are one. Even when we are at war with each other, our hearts are always beating in unison- Yoko Ono 2009