328 replies to this topic

[jim1982]

That... I haven't decided. Haha, probably near a big town somewhere, in his castle.

well I canon, it would suggest that the capital of Fire country was close by to Konoha. Maybe it could be between Leaf and WC?

[Paradox Jast]

That's most likely the case. Most of the time I think a country's capital is placed near the center of the country, or at least that would seem to make the most sense.

[Codus N]

One minor critique on chapter 27. It's a nitpick that's common when male writers write about girls and breast development and girls feelings about their breasts.

Sakura hasn't expressed dissatisfaction about the size of her breasts since she was 12 in still in Tanner stage 2- the breast bud stage. At about 12 3/4 she was slightly behind average to still be in Tanner stage 2 of breast development, but not by much. By the Chunnin Exams- at right around 13 1/2 she had moved into Tanner stage 3- within the age norm.

Once a girl starts Tanner stage 3, her breasts are their full adult size at max two years, sometimes as short as 6 months later. (unless she has an extremely rare disorder that cases the breasts to continue to grow past puberty)- and you can see that in the flashback Sakura has with her training with Tsunade- likely about 14 1/2, right before the Chunnin Exams, that she passed. Although her body below the waist looks not much changed, her breasts look just about the same size as they do now in the manga- 2+ years later- she's nearing 17 now, as Naruto is past his 16th birthday. Kishimoto knows female puberty development pretty well, the hips don't start to really develop a "womanly" shape until around 15, right about the time breast development completes. (Notice Temari's breasts look about the same size in part 1 and 2, she turned 16 in part 1, 19 in part 2.

Tsunade as well had her adult- pre grief induced enlargement, breast size at about 16 as well- in the flashbacks with her brother Nawaki, her breasts look the same size several years later when she meets Dan. I theorize she was in very early pregnancy, a month or less, when Dan died and miscarried shortly after Dan's death, just after her breasts would have enlarged a size due to the pregnancy, and in deep grief she got a bit nuts and made her breast size go up a couple more sizes and couldn't undo it once she got past the crazy part of grief- her breasts didn't enlarge after Nawaki's, death, and didn't after Jiraiya's either, only Dan's. A woman's breast size goes up about 1 cup size during a first preganancy (doesn't during later pregnancies if the breasts stay pregnancy cup size.), and fairly regularly stays a cup larger post pregnancy. Sounds like you are saying in your fic Kushina did the fairly typical thing and kept her pregnancy breast size.

Considering the way Sakura dresses, and her words to Naruto in 245, she knows she looks like a woman now. She dresses to minimize male attention to her breasts (and less successfully- to her rather large bottom- it's large enough that like Hinata's breasts, at best she just slightly minimizes the appearance). At B cup she can successfully hide her breast size, without making it obvious she is. (Hinata can only make her DD breasts look D in that loose jacket top.)
Hinata and Sakura would have slightly different reasons for hiding their breasts. For Hinata, she doesn't like attention drawn to herself, period, so being so well endowed would be painfully embarrassing. For Sakura it would be about shutting out unwanted male attention- perverted guys.

Sakura appears to be quite comfortable with her body now as it is- but here's where your scene could work- Sakura does strongly desire Naruto's approval. If she thinks he finds bigger breasts than hers the most sexy, she may feel hers are inadequate. (Remember she did see how he reacted to Konohamaru's Yuri no Jutsu and those "girls" looked about C cup, so about a size larger than her breasts.) At B cup the standard Chunnin outfit you have Sakura wearing would also somewhat minimize her breast size (C cup or larger it would draw attention to them) although not as much as her standard red top in the manga, which just skims over her breasts. The current situation might trigger Sakura casually wear something maybe a bit more like Tsunade's top that would draw Naruto's attention to the fact she does have breasts, without going to something that was too overt for Sakura- like Ino's fitted crop top, something I don't think would be her style, not as a still virginal girl, just really feeling that depth of mature desire for the first time.

Hm, I had figured that Sakura had perhaps always wrapped her chest in bindings (she strikes me as the type who perhaps would), but was at the same time trying to give the impression that she felt Kushina had what Sakura feels is the 'perfect' physique. It's not really something that I had planned on getting into TOO deeply, but you've definitely given me some information to think on. Thanks.

I don't think you need to edit that PJ, I like it just fine. It is after all, intended to be a comical scene. So, it's not really WAY OOC for Sakura. I wouldn't be surprised if Sakura did at some time feel a bit less confident in her physical appearance. Every girl has to have had at least experienced that. And also, when you're a Kunoichi, your body is your greatest weapon. So, it's no wonder if she had at least felt a lack of confidence in that area once. Especially when your peers' are much bigger than yours.

[-ThEoNe-]

Just stopped by to see the discussion on everything, maps look great! Looking forward to the next chapter!

[ciardha]

That's most likely the case. Most of the time I think a country's capital is placed near the center of the country, or at least that would seem to make the most sense.

So you guessed on Whirlpool being in the NE point of Fire Country? My guess was that odd peninsula in the SE because it looked so out of the way from rest of Fire country, like something that was added on later, and a peninsula seemed like it would most likely be geographically favorable for significant sized whirlpool to exist.

http://ciarda927.dev...-Shine-81914956

Edited by ciardha, 14 April 2010 - 02:11 PM.

[Paradox Jast]

Yeah, I had considered that, but when I first started writing the fic and came up with the plan as to where I'd put Whirlpool Country, I hadn't seen the anime movie that shows the extended world map. It ended up becoming one of those 'If I knew then what I know now' things. Most of the stuff pertaining to the geography is made up other than the names of some countries, a lot of which only appeared in filler anime. Even the 'River of the End' is something I made up... there's no way to know if there really is a river there or not.


I also wanted the 'Whirlpool' to be more... special... than just a bunch of whirlpools and that's what they named the country after. Would it make sense? Yeah... but as it pertains to the story I thought it would have been a little lame.

[Codus N]

Fight a thing like that in his free form, Sealed, split the chakra in two parts, one inside the Dead God and the Other inside his son to give him a power to fight Tobi, create a Key for his son to release the seal, and then sealing himself inside of Naruto to watch out and protect him, create a special seal when Naruto lose control and release 8 tails in that way he appears and reinforce the seal again...

A mean, that is the most Amazing thing in the entire Manga. Create a strategy like that in a few moments

This also makes me wonder whether Minato knew Killerbee or not. It looks like he predicted Naruto would train at that area, unless there's another way to train jinchuuriki or Kyuubi. I kinda dislike Yamato for saying "a Four Element Seal", though Killerbee made it up by saying it was more powerful and stuff. No need to knock down Minato.

a lil' off-topic here, but these 2 posts on MH, makes it seem that your Minato time travel theory even MORE plausible. Damn, if your theory is true, that would just make you the most epic writer on FF.net in the Naruto section!!!

Edited by Newkerz, 27 May 2010 - 07:32 AM.

[Paradox Jast]

I really need to hurry up and finish writing those fics before Naruto ends, or what Minato did is explained. Because if what i have planned is accurate in any way, I don't want it to seem like I'm copying. lol

[Codus N]

Actually, some of your theories are already becoming pretty plausible. Especially about Naruto's seal. Even with these recent events, this theory of yours is still plausible.

[Nick Soapdish]

I think he's saying that's the problem.

[catsi563]

I doubt the time travel angle will be an issue

but the aspect of it does make Minato look like even more of a genius then originaly thought thats for sure. Ninjas in fantasy have oftne been gifted with foresight, which is their greatest strength. This would make Minato gifted with foresight beyond his years the strongest ninja ever beyond even madara.

[desaix]

I really need to hurry up and finish writing those fics before Naruto ends, or what Minato did is explained. Because if what i have planned is accurate in any way, I don't want it to seem like I'm copying. lol

I know the feeling. Fortunately, I think I managed to get past the bulk of that prior to my most recent hiatus... (although I never did get Sakura into the room full of hundreds of creepy sharingan eyes all in jars before Danzo showed us his arm... ah, well)

[shadow_Uzumaki]

I believe what Minato has done is what is called the Thanatos Gambit trope. Minato's death came with benefits; sealing the Kyuubi to not only stop its rampage but to also fight Madara and creating a one-time seal to repair the 4 Elements seal just in case Naruto would try to open the seal himself.... And all this without a Kekkei Genkai. XD

[catsi563]

true. And its well in line with the main theme of Naruto in that regard.

think about every bloodline limit clan, or so called genius prodgies. theyve either fallen out of grace or been bad guys from the start, or been over come by internal problems.

Even the main villian with his uber kekke genkai has been subjected to failure after failure after failure forcing him to take short cut after short cut after short cut to power. Hell I cant even name one single clear cut victory hes had where he struck the final blow. And almost every time he ""won"" he lost something more important, in the case of his most recent as example he lost Karin. the one girl who not only doesnt fan girl after him, but who understands him better than anyone even Naruto did by Sasukes own standards, and who stood by him like an equal.

Im actually very interested how the changes that have been incorproated into the story as told so far will deal with that theme.

[Codus N]

Anyways, the point is, right now you should focus on ending Hindsight:Foresight before Kishi gets to it. WPC can wait. Besides you only have about 2-3 chapters left for H:F right, PJ??

[Paradox Jast]

Yeah, the big problem I have is that H::F has spoilers for WPC in it, or at least what I planned to write does. So unless I can find something else to write instead, I'd have to wait on completing it anyway.

I'll have to think on it some.

[catsi563]

actually I dont think that should be a problem at all. you have to think about it like this. HSFS isnt just a side story to WPC. in fact if you look at it, its almost WPC itself. just WPC from a different perspective.

the spoilers in HSFS arent as spoilery as you might think due to the context of the scenes they spoil. the perspective of each scene is different due to whos viewing it.

Its almost as an example like the recent Splinter cell novels conviction, and End game. In the one Sam fisher goes rogue and avoids a team of splinter cells sent to hunt him down while he hunts a mole in third echelon. And at the same time the second novel End game follows the team of splinter cells that are assigned to hunt him while simulatneously tying both books together.

literaly one story with two different perspectives.

[Paradox Jast]

Yeah, I guess it can be viewed that way too. Of course when I got the idea I thought it would be simple to write, but it's definitely turned out to be a lot more... interesting, I guess, than I originally thought it would be.

[Paradox Jast]

Expect an update soon, whenever Denim has some free time and gets to beta what I sent him.

WPC 28 --Click here to view--

"You've had contact with Itachi?"

Kushina was looking at Sasuke in confusion now, but was concentrating on him so much that she was completely missing the signals and looks being sent by both Sakura and Ino. "Well... once. He was here not too long ago, and talked to Naruto-kun and Jiraiya-sama about some things regarding Akatsuki, but that's all I know."

Sasuke's exp​ression gradually evened out, and there were several moments of silence. Kushina's gaze finally flickered over towards Sakura and Ino, only to see the blond shaking her head while Sakura was looking down, rubbing her forehead. Frowning, Kushina looked back to Sasuke once again, only to find him staring at her with his Sharingan activated.

"Where is Naruto?"

[Hak]

Good chap, loved the end!