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Whirlpool Country and other stories


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#121 harry4e

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 05:03 PM

QUOTE (ShippudenGirl @ Mar 21 2010, 07:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You know, Minato might actually be Tsunade's son since we don't know Dan's last name. It was a theory I heard that was really interesting.
As for Sakura, i'm sure she's not too over-stressed about her boob size; hasn't seemed to affect Naruto's feelings for her.


um...why are people talking about Breasts all of a sudden? Minato being Tsunade's son doesn't add up, She was 50 when Naruto was Thirteen, and from the looks of it Minato was in his early Twenties atleast when he died so 13 + 22 = 35, meaning Tsunade would have to be 14 atleast when she ot pregnent and give birth at 15..and from flashbacks she looked 17 or older at the very least when she met Dan. So doesn't add up. (A clue on her age when Dan died is Shizune, she's 28 in the first arc, and would have been alive when Dan died otherwise would not have left with her when she did.)

There is something nearly everyone seems to forget and that is the second Hokage, he could have been Minato's or even Kushina's father, makes more sense, The Madara incident happened just before he came into power and he had the Uchiha's watched closely as he was weary of them, and just like Naruto got his mothers name to protect him from his father enemies, the second could have done the same to protect him from the Uchiha, and we know he died away on a mission so it's entirely possible nobody knew about Minato being the second's son except maybe Saratobi, and that's why he was put in Jiaraya's Genin team. I think that theory would make more sense than Tsunade being Minato's mother. I'm personally hoping this theory is true, atleast that way the battle destined battle between Uchiha and the will of fire will be more meaningful with both main forces being members of the family that started the conflict, doesn't have the same impact if the one of the two is a substistute because the Senju are pretty much all dead and buried.

Yosh another update, will have to read but currently too busy trying to figure out how to defeat the final FFxiii boss to properly concentrate on this chapter. Hopefully it will give some hints on Naruto's behaviour last chapter, was probably the only time I've been a bit disspointed and dissagreed with Naruto's actions.

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#122 Gravenimage

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 05:47 PM

QUOTE (harry4e @ Mar 22 2010, 09:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
um...why are people talking about Breasts all of a sudden? Minato being Tsunade's son doesn't add up, She was 50 when Naruto was Thirteen, and from the looks of it Minato was in his early Twenties atleast when he died so 13 + 22 = 35, meaning Tsunade would have to be 14 atleast when she ot pregnent and give birth at 15..and from flashbacks she looked 17 or older at the very least when she met Dan. So doesn't add up. (A clue on her age when Dan died is Shizune, she's 28 in the first arc, and would have been alive when Dan died otherwise would not have left with her when she did.)

There is something nearly everyone seems to forget and that is the second Hokage, he could have been Minato's or even Kushina's father, makes more sense, The Madara incident happened just before he came into power and he had the Uchiha's watched closely as he was weary of them, and just like Naruto got his mothers name to protect him from his father enemies, the second could have done the same to protect him from the Uchiha, and we know he died away on a mission so it's entirely possible nobody knew about Minato being the second's son except maybe Saratobi, and that's why he was put in Jiaraya's Genin team. I think that theory would make more sense than Tsunade being Minato's mother. I'm personally hoping this theory is true, atleast that way the battle destined battle between Uchiha and the will of fire will be more meaningful with both main forces being members of the family that started the conflict, doesn't have the same impact if the one of the two is a substistute because the Senju are pretty much all dead and buried.

Yosh another update, will have to read but currently too busy trying to figure out how to defeat the final FFxiii boss to properly concentrate on this chapter. Hopefully it will give some hints on Naruto's behaviour last chapter, was probably the only time I've been a bit disspointed and dissagreed with Naruto's actions.


You make an interesting point that the second Hokage could be Minato's father but I don't think so. If that was the case Minato would have been older and he died young, I believe he was 24 when he became the fourth Hokage. Also I completely disagree that the second is Kushina's father because she's not even from Konoha to begin with she's from hidden whirlpool.

Edited by Gravenimage, 22 March 2010 - 10:26 PM.

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#123 harry4e

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 09:30 PM

QUOTE (Gravenimage @ Mar 22 2010, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You make an interesting point that the second Hokage could be Minato's father but I don't think. If that was the case Minato would have been older and he died young, I believe he was 24 when he became the fourth Hokage. Also I completely disagree that the second is Kushina's father because she's not even from Konoha to begin she's from hidden whirlpool.


Yeah and what better way to hide your child or grandchild as it may be, than to have them grow up in a foreign country. I actually think Minato was in his later Twenties, so it could work, maybe grandchild makes more sense, If Tsunade was the First Hokage's grandaughter, then the fourth could be the seconds, and would be a few years younger. It would be sad if both clans that originated from the SAGE end because one became murdering phychopaths and the other just didn't procreate. Would love to know what happened to the rest of that clan.

OK wrong place to be talking about this, sorry. I doubt we'll be seeing a Mokotan Naruto in this fic.

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#124 ShippudenGirl

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 11:10 PM

Well excuse me, it was just a theory I heard rawr.gif

Fine...

Review:

I liked the chapter. And I'm interested in Kushina/Sakira interaction, I find it funny and how they can relate. I'm happy the "Princess" is leaving, why pressure Naruto much? I guess she's bisexual, hm; poor Sakura, being invited to spend some "quality time" with the Princess if you catch my drift. I hope she isn't TOO involved with the story; personally she annoys me, she's quite stubborn and won't give up I'll give her that. I'm wondering what'll happen next chapter. Any fight or more NS moments? I enjoy Kushina in the story like many, just don't over-use her, I think the amount of time focused on her is good.

Keep up the great work! I really enjoy it and hope you continue!! ^^

#125 Chesh

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 11:55 PM

Thank you for adding the new chapters.

i shall be reading them tomorrow at work biggrin.gif
I'm making perfect sense your just not keeping up

#126 ciardha

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 02:18 AM

QUOTE (Gravenimage @ Mar 22 2010, 01:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You make an interesting point that the second Hokage could be Minato's father but I don't think so. If that was the case Minato would have been older and he died young


Yeah, the theory is Minato was Tobirama's grandson, just as Tsunade is Hashirama's granddaughter, thus being second cousins. That works chronologically. Minato, Nawaki and Naruto have strong resemblances to each other, and Minato also has some resemblance to Tobirama that Naruto doesn't have. Both Tsunade and Nawaki also looked more like their uncle than their father (apparently from the non Senju side, as Hashirama had the Senju look quite strongly, where Tobirama did not)
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#127 shadow_Uzumaki

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 05:16 AM

Minato doesn't always have to be related to anyone famous. For all we know, he was also a rags-to-riches story, yeah?

#128 Paradox Jast

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 03:56 PM

- Character Information - (SPOILER WARNINGS) - Updated March 23rd, 2010

For this particular post, I'm going to go over what I'm doing with relatively unknown canon and manga characters. Brief reviews of what we know about them, and how I envision how I've written or how I will be writing them in the future. I'm not going to scour and read-through the entire manga and watch the entire anime series again, so if I jumble things up or miss stuff, don't be surprised. Comments are welcome if something needs changing, this way I don't completely flub on how a character has been portrayed so far. Some of these bio's will impact and carry over from/to Hindsight::Foresight as well - the companion piece to Whirlpool Country from Minato's POV.

If there is an accurate age for these characters, I'm sure it's easily looked up from a databook. For WPC, I'm keeping all ages as they most likely would be in canon, but on occasion may be liberal with ages as needed for the story. No crazy age changes, but likely nothing will be different by more than a year or two, if that. I've tried to guess as close to canon as possible.

The layout for each character will be as follows -
Name
Age at the start of Naruto canon.
Age at the start of Naruto Shippuuden.
WPC Age as of Chapter 27.
Brief canon bio.
WPC/H::F bio.

Spoiler warnings will apply to anyone who has not read WPC up to the latest chapter.


Uzumaki Keiji --Click here to view--
Naruto Age: 41
Shippuden Age: 44
Current Age: 45

Canon: Keiji is an original character, and therefore does not appear in canon or anime Naruto.

WPC: Keiji is cousin to both Kushina and Naruto. Keiji's father was brother to Kushina's father. He has a fairly gruff attitude, and places the blame of Whirlpool's destruction on Konoha, even though Whirlpool was completely blindsided by the split attack from Iwa that came from the sea. Leaf did what it could to help, but by the time they arrived it was too late. Needing someone to blame, he used Konoha as that outlet, and fell into bitterness and depression.

He did what he could to help the few survivors, two of which were his sister Mei and her daughter Nayoko. Nayoko was too young to understand what was going on other than the fact that her home was gone, but Mei was constantly chiding Keiji for placing all of the blame on Leaf when it was Rock that had destroyed their home. He was slowly coming around until their last priest and his cousin, Kushina, disappeared to parts unknown. Believing he had been betrayed, he set out on a journey to find himself again.

He returned after wandering the lands for many years, much wiser through his experiences, bitterness having eaten him up to the point where he felt like a hollow man. Finding his sister to have come down with a sickness and now gravely ill, he declared his intent to work to help her get the best treatment possible. Nayoko started following her uncle around, learning various tricks of the crafting trade from him for the next several years. One day he got an assignment outside of the small village where they lived and had to leave for several months, leaving Mei in Nayoko's care.

Unfortunately, Mei's illness worsened in Keiji's absence, and Nayoko sent for her uncle immediately. Keiji arrived too late, Mei had passed on before his arrival. Stricken by grief, along with Nayoko, they both decided to leave the village because of the memories. As a result, the two of them began to patrol the old Whirlpool territory for several years, never settling in one place for very long.



Uzumaki Kushina --Click here to view--
Naruto Age: 35
Shippuden Age: 38
Current Age: 39

Canon: Not much is known of Kushina, other than her appearance when she was pregnant, her fighting style, and her personality when she was younger.

WPC: Kushina was betrayed by the husband of her best friend. Uchiha Fugaku cast a genjutsu on her, one that combined with her fatigue, sent her into an endless loop of despair with no apparent way out. The genjutsu cast on her caused her to almost go insane; if not for the actions of her friend and Minato's student, Rin, she fears she would have been lost. Unfortunately, attempted return visits to Konoha apparently triggered the return of the genjutsu, leaving her in a catatonic state until Rin could release it. As a result, she had been gone from Naruto's life for nearly 16 years.

Kushina does not remember much of her childhood. She knew that she had two parents, but they were mysteriously absent from her earliest memories. At birth, when she had the water of Whirlpool placed above her heart, it glowed brightly and chose her as the next Priestess. From then on she was essentially raised by the village, though she lodged with the parents of her cousins, Keiji and Mei. She had much informal shinobi training in her younger years, though always seemed to take strongly to ninjutsu. She did not have small chakra reserves by any means, though her control was still exemplary. Many believed it to be the influence of Whirlpool, but it could never be proven.

Upon first meeting anyone, she was often mistaken for a boy for several reasons. She always wore her hair cut very short, and the clothing that priests wore was very nondescript. She was the first priestess in five generations, so she was influenced greatly by her predecessors. She always claimed to have more fun jumping around in puddles when it rained instead of sitting inside playing house.

She had no way of knowing, but her life would be forever changed on one fateful day when she was eight years old, when Jiraiya stopped by with his team as they were on their way to do a mission. It was on that day she met an eleven year old Namikaze Minato, and a twelve year old Uchiha Mikoto.

Adult Kushina is a bit perverted and ditzy at times, though overall her personality hasn't changed much since childhood. She prefers to get up close and personal during fights, as she feels that she is a natural born scrapper, since she knew she'd be using swords as was required of her position - though she isn't afraid to add some ninjutsu into the mix. She constantly worries about her son now that he's found her, and wants to do everything in her power to keep him safe. Things are still awkward at times, however, as they both understand that it will be hard for them to recognize each other as mother and son after having neither for sixteen years, though both of them are willing to work through that. She's very outgoing, and not afraid to tell anyone what's on her mind... perverted or not, much to Naruto's amusement and discomfort.



Uzumaki Naruto --Click here to view--
Naruto Age: 12
Shippuden Age: 15
Current Age: 16

Canon: I really don't think I need to explain this. He is the main secondary character, after all.

WPC: Naruto is maturing at an exponential rate, due to everything that has been placed on his shoulders. He is very well aware of how much he is now responsible for, and is constantly turning to Kakashi, Yuugao, and Genma for advice - to which the trio are more than happy to help.

The situation in Lightning Country has him feeling disturbed, and he still doesn't know what to make of it. Though he is aware of being in charge of nothing more than the border outpost, which is now Whirlpool Village once again, he has decided to start exploring the potential of a plan he made with input from Yuugao. Further input from Kushina and Keiji solidified his mind about the potential of the plan, and he explained the proposal to the other two Leaf Jounin present - Kakashi and Genma. While initially wary, they both threw their support behind Naruto when he was able to explain the plan in it's entirety.

Currently his plan is at its infant stages, and hinges on responses from Cloud and Sound. If either of those two agree, even with conditions, he plans to confront Leaf and Sand, perhaps even Mist.



Uzumaki Nayoko --Click here to view--
Naruto Age: 18
Shippuden Age: 21
Current Age: 22

Canon: Nayoko is an original character, and therefore does not appear in canon or anime Naruto.

WPC: Uzumaki Nayoko was barely a year old when Whirlpool Village was destroyed. Her father died trying to protect the village as her mother carried her away. Eventually they met up with Keiji, who acted as a surrogate father for a short duration until he disappeared, consumed by his grief and bitterness. Nayoko's early childhood was fraught with worries that they would be discovered, so she and her mother Mei lived with assumed names until Leaf finally won the Third War.

After things settled down her childhood was fairly normal, though she was given accelerated shinobi lessons as an Uzumaki Scout, as her mother belonged to the Scout Branch of the clan. They made a brief visit to the ruins so that she could activate her blood trait, and Nayoko was mentally scarred by the image of the destruction that was there, deciding that she would never let anything like this befall her current home.

Her mother fell ill in Nayoko's early teenage years, though neither had any idea how. Luckily, her uncle Keiji finally decided to return around that time, and he swore to help them by whatever means necessary. He found steady work and started training Nayoko in the workings of the Craft Branch, just in case. For years the two of them worked together, providing in whatever way they could for Mei.

By some strange twist of fate, the moment Keiji got a lucrative assignment outside the village they lived in for several months, Mei's illness worsened by a large degree. In a panic, Nayoko called her uncle back, hoping he could do something. The effort proved futile, however, as Mei passed on barely before Keiji arrived home. Stricken by grief, Nayoko closed in on herself for a week, until Keiji brought her out of it, stating that Mei would not like to see her daughter torturing herself this way. He also related his own experience, telling Nayoko to never take anything for granted. It wasn't until Keiji related his life to her that Nayoko started calling him sensei.

The duo began to travel, never staying in one place for very long. They took to patrolling the old lands of Whirlpool Country, helping whoever they ccould. It was during those travels that they encountered a rogue shinobi named Jun, who asked to help them. He had medic skills that they badly needed, though Keiji was worried Jun was only after Nayoko. It wasn't until she assured her uncle that the man wasn't after her that they agreed to take him along.

When hit by the Whirlpool Awakening, they decided to travel to the old Whirlpool immediately. Upon arriving, she discovered her long missing cousin, Kushina... as well as Kushina's son, Naruto. Currently helping to rebuild and protect her old, yet now new home, Nayoko feels like she has been living in the clouds, every day brings a smile to her face.

Edited by Paradox Jast, 23 March 2010 - 05:42 PM.


#129 catsi563

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 05:24 PM

im suprised you left out the influence that both Sakura and ino had over Naruto in his bio. personally I think they have had just as much of an influence on him especially their relationships with him as anyone in WPC has had.

It wasd Inos relationship with him that pushed Sakura closer, and Sakuras budding relationship which has given him some serious strength to deal with some fo what hes had to in later chapters.
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#130 Paradox Jast

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 05:41 PM

Naruto's bio is left somewhat empty... because there's just too much to type. laugh.gif Seriously, I'd almost end up typing the entire story all over again. I'll be going back to do edits, certainly, and I haven't even gotten to Sakura's or Ino's bio's yet.

#131 catsi563

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Posted 28 March 2010 - 02:38 AM

btw PJ I just finished rereading Chapter 8 the gauntlet. I think.. No i know you need to rewrite that and fix it back to what it was before the rewrite.

I dont know if Disney XD got to you or something but it went from a nicely written action packed chapter to a passive kiddified version of itself. the parts where Naruto and Yuugao are groping each other were nicely writtena nd flowed beautifully into each other.

now theyre disjointed and candified almost as if someone from a disney censor went in and rewrote them.
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#132 Paradox Jast

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Posted 28 March 2010 - 03:12 AM

One of them was being very bold as well, and after double checking his memories he knew it had to be Yuugao because he could usually catch the flash of purple hair before she was gone. When they had first started the Gauntlet, every time it was her turn to try to 'capture' him, she would sometimes get up close to him faster than he could track while looking for traps, and touch him. Most of the time it was just a quick pat here and there on his back, shoulder, or arms, and at first he didn't pay it much mind. But then after about two hours and it was totally dark, the pats and quick taps started turning into rather lewd gropes. He lost his concentration badly. It had cost him dearly too, quick thinking and skillful use of Kage Bunshin were the only thing that kept him from becoming more than a dark red stain on the forest floor on several occasions.

After being groped several times, Naruto finally caught onto her game. She was doing it on purpose, taking advantage of a distinct weakness of his. Unlike some people he knew, he wasn't a pervert. He respected women. Yuugao was trying to teach him a lesson in her own way, though from what he knew of her personality, she was most likely getting some kind of enjoyment out of watching him kitten up every time she groped him. She was doing to him what many less curteous and disrespectful shinobi were known for doing to enemy kunoichi. She had the body to be extremely effective at making anyone she tried this on either extremely uncomfortable or mad with lust. Either way, they'd be easy pickings.

Once he caught on, however, he was ready for her the next time. Jutsu wasn't all Jiraiya taught him.

He groped back.

He must have grabbed at her chest too hard though, because he heard a distinct yelp before she disappeared again. He wasn't sure if it was in pain or shock, but after doing it he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He'd have to apologize later.

Just about an hour ago, he changed his mind about the apology. She must have gotten bold again, because someone - he hoped it was her, anyway - slapped his ass... HARD. He yelped and stumbled... right onto that lightning trap... which made his foot go numb. As a result, he had to use his hands for a lot of the swinging from branch to branch, leaving him open to attacks by the weapons which had been slicing him up mercilessly.


Of the three of them, however, Yuugao was the most bold, hands down. When they had first started the Gauntlet, every time it was her turn to try to 'capture' him, she would sometimes tease him by getting a lot closer to him than Kakashi or Genma ever would. While he knew that she wouldn't purposefully hurt him - at least not badly - he understood when she was trying to teach him a lesson, as she had done many times in the past. At first Naruto thought she was just going to try and distract him at a crucial point and make him stumble into a trap. Each time she appeared, though, she kept getting closer and closer, making him sweat. In an attempt to mess up whatever she may have been planning, he gave her a grin and a wave when she was within a few steps of him. She disappeared for a moment, only to startle him by appearing right next to him... and gave him a pat on the back before disappearing again.

He whipped off his jacket in a panic, thinking she had slapped a tag on him... but there was nothing. Cursing to himself, he had started putting it back on, only to hear kunai flying through the air at him. Knowing he wouldn't get a chance to put it back on at this rate, he let it go and swiftly moved to the next branch. It was a while before he encountered Yuugao again, but it was a moment that he doubted he would ever forget. The sun had set, so he felt her approach more than he could see her. She was easy to sense since she was boosting her speed by using chakra, and Naruto altered his course slightly so he could try and see her approach and potentially counter any attack.

She moved up next to him and did something he never expected; she felt him up for a brief moment, then disappeared again. Completely stunned, Naruto lost his concentration badly. It had cost him dearly too, quick thinking and skillful use of Kage Bunshin were the only thing that kept him from becoming more than a dark red stain on the forest floor. There were two traps on the next branch he landed on that he just barely managed to avoid.

After several more close encounters, Naruto finally caught onto her game. She was doing it on purpose, taking advantage of what some other ninja might consider to be a weakness. Unlike some people he knew, he wasn't a pervert, or at least consciously avoided trying to be a big one. He respected women. Yuugao was trying to teach him a lesson in her usual way, through a hands-on approach. Though this was a lot more 'hands-on' from her than Naruto had ever experienced before. What Yuugao was doing to him was somewhat commonplace in the shinobi world, many kunoichi - especially the better looking ones - used their appearance and physique to get close to their targets or enemies and distract them with so-called 'eye-candy'. Naruto was now quick to notice that Yuugao had the body to be extremely effective at making anyone she tried this on either extremely uncomfortable or mad with lust. Either way, they'd be easy pickings when she finally decided to move in for the kill.

Once he caught on, however, he was ready for her the next time. Jutsu wasn't all Jiraiya taught him. He mentally prepared himself for their next encounter.

When she finally did approach him once again, Naruto was ready. The moment she made her move, he made his as well. Yuugao must have been expecting him to try to block again, like he had all the other times, so she didn't stop him at all when he made to reach for her. He heard a muffled gasp from behind her mask, and she clumsily retreated and batted his hands away. Naruto winced as she disappeared from his vision. He might have been a little rougher than he intended to be, he only wanted to surprise her, not hurt her.

After that little incident, he was still attacked from range, but he didn't see any of the three ANBU chasing him. They would usually make themselves visible before an attack to herd him to a specific section of the Gauntlet - typically an area riddled with traps. For a while, he was able to move with nearly no impediments, other than the occasional kunai or shuriken tossed his way to keep him going in a certain direction. Right about the time he figured he really should apologize to Yuugao after this Gauntlet run was over, she appeared next to him without her mask on, winked at him and slapped his ass... HARD. He yelped and stumbled - right onto that lightning trap - which made his foot go numb. As a result, he had to use his hands for a lot of the swinging from branch to branch immediately after, leaving him open to attacks by the weapons which started coming after him with revived gusto.


I can see where you think they're different. Looking at them side by side, I can see it easily. My intent wasn't so much to make it PG-13 like it is now, I actually intended to further expand upon that scene and clarify it a little bit. It was the first time Naruto and Yuugao really appeared in a scene together, and I wanted to show that while they were both taking this test seriously, there were just some boundaries that neither of them were wholly comfortable crossing. The reasons for which are found out later.

I'll go back and look at it more thoroughly after I finish Chapter 28, and perhaps adjust it again. Thanks for your thoughts.

#133 KungFuTruffle

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Posted 28 March 2010 - 04:14 AM

I agree with catsi, though not for the same reasons. The original version, to me, is the more "fun" version of the two. The edited version is just too serious.

#134 ShippudenGirl

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Posted 28 March 2010 - 04:21 AM

The original is funny xD she slapped his ass...

#135 Paradox Jast

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 12:45 PM

Just uploaded three new maps to my DeviantArt page.

Go here to take a looksee.

#136 Hak

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 01:31 PM

Nice job with the maps! They're very helpful when trying to understand locations and events in WC.
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#137 harry4e

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 04:21 PM

Oooh maps, so when they releasing and how many points, better not overcharge us like MW2 Stimulas pack? Whoops sorry, too much online gaming biggrin.gif Nice atleast now we know where everything is, and gve a better idea what's happening. Nice job.

Quick question, is Valley the Valley of The Ends? or a Country? Because the location doesn't make sense if it is VoTE, why would a famous monument depicting the great battle between two Konoha Ninja's be between Lightning and Swamp?

Edited by harry4e, 30 March 2010 - 04:25 PM.

iAnby7W.gif


#138 Paradox Jast

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 05:50 PM

The Valley of the End is a single location that is placed on the border between Fire Country and Rice Field Country. It just has that name, and the river that flows to the sea through Whirlpool was named after the valley.

Valley Country is in fact a country. An entirely different place, and a much larger one at that.

When I do the Rice Field Country map, I'll point out where the VotE is.

#139 harry4e

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 06:22 PM

Whoa going into detail, that's like JKR and Tolkein detail there. So where does the Fire Daiymo live? hehee only kidding don't need to point it out.

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#140 Paradox Jast

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 06:25 PM

That... I haven't decided. Haha, probably near a big town somewhere, in his castle.




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