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[Sakura~Kitsune]

Well wasn't this a surprise?

Exactly why wouldn't such a past even be a surprise?

Wasn't it because this airship was home to some of the most twisted things.

Bad Past; Check.
Scarred Conscience; Check.
Attempting to hide the truth (yet failing); Check.

It seemed we had a new co-worker... who already had the basic set-up.

Truly something else, don't you think? My total exterior and interior changed in the process of listening to that... I could literally feel my senses growing cold, and the same for any sort of feeling. I was reverting back to my self from the start - the girl who avoided Jyuuki anytime she could, and only completed her shift in solitude. Not only did my sudden movements proved of this change, but the just looking in the mirror: I saw that cold face.

That nobody speaking out to me, telling me to remember a certain group of Sky-Pirates... who were damned enough to sell me out to a certain Pirate Mafia. Oh yes, I remembered that. The attempts of hostage, constant chasing, and occasional wounds before my body felt itself being hauled away. Those bastards used me for their own good... with shackles at my wrists, my final days of the thief-life were brought to an end like that. I, Shihna, could remember that dreadful pain anyday. Well of course I could, back then I was nothing but a helpless child. A child who knew nothing better than which way was North, South, East and West.

And I played to those certain cards.

Which soon enough brought about my downfall, it was clearly that simple.

My mother already said I was a failure to launch in the world, and no matter how much I resent that fact... that woman was right. That kittening woman who turned me into this, was actually right about something. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, there was no way I couldn't see that I was the one being toyed with; and not her.

After all those statements to change my life. To make sure that I didn't end up like her...

Look at me.

"The Pirate Mafia, you say. Well, I can't help but be relieved that you ran into our airship... It seems I'm not the only one who crossed paths with them. Although I'm surprised to see any of them alive..." My reponse was simple, although no matter how hard I tried smiling with that... I just couldn't. Recalling all of the objectives they forced me to accomplish was something of morbid and positively repulsive, and that sudden wave of fear overcame me. The thoughts were creeping back into my sub-conscience. Mocking me. Reminding me off the people I did not want to loot... reminding me of the people they forced me to kill. Such memories brought yet another taste into my mouth, which nearly caused me to hurl over in possible sickness.

This feeling was overcoming me. And it was truly painful.

So everyone in Raven's life was gone?

That was tough, and I knew that. Only the full-length scar upon my casually bandaged arms proved that I understood what she was trying to get at. Although, 'losing my family' wasn't the issue; I basically lost my life to that certain group of people. I became their pawn, without any hope of even finding my way back to sanity. Because I was truly passed that rift, and brinking the lines of insanity. Where was I to go after that? Psychotic? Couldn't help but wonder.

"You truly are a lucky one, Raven. Not many people are even able to make it out of their clutches alive... and even if they did, they were killed on the spot. Am I correct?" I distantly glances towards the Elvaan girl, still recalling memory after memory before I decided (well tried) to brush all thoughts away. There was no need to crawl back into that hole... I actually had a life of my own now.

I was no one's plaything, as I was before.

Although the sudden appearance of 'Vitty-kun' caused something to snap back into my head. So it seemed that Jyuuki had some past events with this stranger, and there was no need to toss the dagger. The moment he and Jyuuki shared placed somewhat of a smile upon my face, however I truly couldn't possess the 'love' of it all. I wanted to be happy for this sudden reunion, but there was no words that dare escape from my mouth. Especially when Raven's full story was still sinking into my brain.

This was literally killing me on the inside.

I had to stop before I did something rash. Something that would cause me to end up like her.

That demonic woman I got to know during my time as their little pet.

Her golden eyes and silver / sea-green tresses, that familiar black-red attire... and that mask. Oh gods, this mask belonged to her of all people. The playful little demon-girl who commited homicide after homicide at the feeble age of fifteen... and even 100 years later, she was still craving the bloodthirst. This woman (well girl) was someone I was forced to call a relative. Almost a mother or grandmother of the sort. This couldn't be happening, could it?

Feeling that sickening bile raise up passed my chest and into my throat, I was only able to mutter out a single word, that left so much meaning in the depths of my heart. Recalling the facts, first it was her sister and niece, her brother, mother...and then it was me. My fate was once destined by the one with no name; a girl who decided to give herself a personal title in which would show anyone she was not to be forgotten. Two syllables.

"...Miri..."

The name of the one who started this all.

And she, was my family.

(OOC: This Miri I'm going on about is a character I was supposed to use in the previous Sky RP but never got the chance. Fully have her future events from those years before... and I should be making Miri's bio sooner or later ^^)

Edited by Sakura~Kitsune, 17 December 2008 - 04:41 AM.

[Abel Nightroad]

Bending down to rummage amoungst the fallen glasses to check to see which ones could be saved, Archer glanced over at Cid.

"If its that far from here to where they went," he said, "you could always install an intercom system, no?"

(OOC - Umm...no :rolleyes: )

OOC: Lol, at this rate we might just have to kick some 'pirate mafia' butt now the way things are going, eh?

Edited by Abel Nightroad, 16 December 2008 - 04:16 PM.

[Sakura Blossoms]

OOC: Lol, at this rate we might just have to kick some 'pirate mafia' butt now the way things are going, eh?

(OOC - That's entirely up to Shadow. It's his 'No Fighting' rp, so it's his decision if he wants the thread to see a little more...'action' )

[Abel Nightroad]

(OOC - That's entirely up to Shadow. It's his 'No Fighting' rp, so it's his decision if he wants the thread to see a little more...'action' )

OOC: I didn't mean in this thread. I was referring to how both your and Sakura~Kitsune's characters have a past with this 'pirate mafia' and that it might make a good sequence either here or in another thread.

[Sakura Blossoms]

OOC: I didn't mean in this thread. I was referring to how both your and Sakura~Kitsune's characters have a past with this 'pirate mafia' and that it might make a good sequence either here or in another thread.

(OOC - Right. As, I said here it depends on what Shadow wants to do, though I wouldn't mind having that as a potential plot point, as there is only so much 'no fighting' one can do

And in another thread...no. Raven's background was created for Raven for this thread. If you want to use the Pirate Mafia storyline in another thread that's entirely up to you, but I'm satisfied with using it for this thread only )

For a whole moment, my mouth was half open as I watched the girl that had etched herself so deeply into me that she still affected me to this day. I shook my head as the temptation to hold her in my arms tried to take over.

I watched her reaching out, and I slowly held her hand with my own. For a moment, our eyes were locked with each other. Old memories...fond memories...ones that I wished to forget at one point...they were flooding me. I gripped her hand tightly, and felt my throat tighten.

"...Jyu-chan...I..." I shook my head. She was here. Breathing...alive...well...and aside from a few scratches or so it seemed, unharmed from anything...at least that's what I saw so far.

"...the leiutenant said you left abruptly...I thought I would never see you again..." I felt my throat constrict on itself. I had to get these words out, "...Jyu-chan...I missed you."

I abandoned all my common sense and wrapped my arms around her, and lifted her off the ground a bit so her feet were just swinging a bit. I laughed, though it was partly to cover up my own cracking voice, "...heh...still as short as always..."

She was here. She was real.

I would not let this make me cry...I would not...

Damn it...my eyes itch...

(OOC - Oh, teh fluff...eet keelz XD )

[shadow_Uzumaki]

(OOC:Ooh, and the dark pasts appear..., interesting interesting, we'll see where it takes us.... Actually, I don't know how to respond to this for now... so we'll see what happens again.)

He had to chortle at that one, an intercom system, where's the fun in that? "Mr. Business-man, this fine establishment's ran by a grizzled old man and two teenage-ish girls. They need to get yelled at in order to move their lazy asses up and running. Besides, it's fun to get those two riled up, even if I regret it later on." Cid informed as he took a swig of his beer. For some strange reason, he got a cold shiver up his spine, followed by another. Living with those two girls have caused him to see them as daughters, while he may not know all of their pasts, he knew enough that they've had it hard and he's done his best to give them a place of (relative) peace. "'Scuse me, I need to attend to something." It was that overprotective streak again as he got up, walked past his liquor (rack? cabinet?) where he took out a hidden spear and stalked quietly towards the boy hugging Jyuuki.... In the future, Cid would think that he acted a little bit too crazy, even for an overprotective parental-type unit really. It wasn't every day he sees Jyuuki letting a boy hug her.

Edited by shadow_Uzumaki, 16 December 2008 - 11:55 PM.

[krisk]

"...Jyu-chan...I..." I shook my head. She was here. Breathing...alive...well...and aside from a few scratches or so it seemed, unharmed from anything...at least that's what I saw so far.

"...the leiutenant said you left abruptly...I thought I would never see you again..." I felt my throat constrict on itself. I had to get these words out, "...Jyu-chan...I missed you."

I abandoned all my common sense and wrapped my arms around her, and lifted her off the ground a bit so her feet were just swinging a bit. I laughed, though it was partly to cover up my own cracking voice, "...heh...still as short as always..."

She was here. She was real.

I would not let this make me cry...I would not...

Damn it...my eyes itch...

Think of the fastest thing in the world. Now give it a can of RedBull mixed with an extra shot of guarana. Now, give that thing a kick in the ass with one of your spiked boots.

Think of it.

Got it?

My mind probably just lapped it twice.

As soon as his arms wrapped around my body (it was freezing) my mind snapped shut and shot off into memory lane. The feeling of his body against mine, the feel of our intertwining hearts beating together, the warmth we created the everything. It was there. It was all there. It was the same, it hadn't changed-- though one thing that I didn't recognize, one thing that was different from the past sensations.

Grieve, longing, reluctance.

Everything, every little thing seemed to rip me in two. The memories contrasted so heavily with the present, but at the same time they didn't and for some reason I wanted to be okay with it. But what was the point of being okay with it? Why would I do that? Why? After all that time and effort and work I put into getting where I was that day. Why. Why don't I not want too just throw everything away and forget what happened? What he did to me?

He did everything.

It's his fault.

Remembering the lies, the rumors. All the Vierra faces I punched in. The looks, the secrecy caused me to snap back. Caused my brain to backtrack and pull a complete U-turn from the rickety road that my memory lane was now forming. Caused me to tense which caused him to tense (good, I'm glad) caused him to pull back and caused him to form that eye contact we shared just seconds (it wasn't minutes? hours?) before.

My head was bowed, my fists were clenching beside my sides, my eyes were shadowed. But they were glaring, they were glaring with everything I had. He touched me. After everything-- after everything that happened. Like nothing happened. This kitten was bullsh*t. There was a thing yes, and this man before me-- this thing before me had reached it. Had done it.

I didn't need to look at him. I felt it before he even began to open his mouth; his questioning eyes, his fear, that reluctancy-- like he was on the brink of losing everything.

He was.

He is.

And I was sure of it.

"...How dare you." I icily growled. I knew he would be confused, I had imagined his face when I left-- the why's. Something I didn't know? What went through his mind the second he found out I was gone, that I had left and never came back. My nails dug into my glove as my right hand tightened. My other crawled up and grasped my tanktop-- where his used to belong. I whispered. My throat thick (he didn't deserve any more of my tears, he didn't deserve anything from me anymore) "You 'missed' me? You 'missed' me? Well, a fan-kittening-tastic job showing it, Vitty."

I might as well have spat on him. Instead, I chose my spit was too good to be wasted like that.

That clenched fist that I mentioned before? The one that was inducing self-inflicted pain by half-moon shaped nail marks? It was relieved when I cocked it back and flew it foward, where which the red-gloved fist connected with the face of blue-eyed boy--man--bastard-- in front of me. I never pulled any punches and when I didn't, I never ever held back. He knew that, he's had hands-on experience with that. But one thing that absolutely sucked for him?

He hadn't known for a long, long time.

That said, it wasn't that surprising that the force of my punch caused him to whiplash to his right, which caused him to get out of my way and away from me and I was happy but I was also lying. Go fig.

The air was still and I felt no one breathing, whoever was watching-- I didn't care, it was only me and him and he was out of my way and I was glad I could breathe. I took a step forward so I was standing beside him, his frozen by shock or fear or pain or whatever. Growling, I whispered behind my teeth, "I left 'cause of you. So either leave me alone or go to hell-- I like it here and I'm not about to leave again."

I couldn't tell if he was breathing anymore, I didn't care. So, I stalked past him and down the hall.

"'Scuse me, I need to attend to something." It was that overprotective streak again as he got up, walked past his liquor (rack? cabinet?) where he took out a hidden spear and stalked quietly towards the boy hugging Jyuuki.... In the future, Cid would think that he acted a little bit too crazy, even for an overprotective parental-type unit really. It wasn't every day he sees Jyuuki letting a boy hug her.

I stopped infront of Cid and gently snatched his spear. Cid was known for going crazy when it came to us. Nobody could blame him, he'd been the paternal figure in mine and Shihna's lives for a good few years now. And that's why you could find multiple spears all around the ship. That's why I was thankful for him-- that older older older big brother figure was always comforting when you lacked anything, when you need it.

With a grunt I held the spear up with both gloved hands and shot it down to my awaiting knee.

It cracked in half, two pieces, and I gave them back to Cid.

Paycheck deduction or not, that felt good.

But it didn't suffice fully, so I did the only thing I could do at that time and place--the girls were in the room and I didn't feel like talking and he was still here and Cid was there with two halves of one paternal boyfriend-swatter and thankfully I worked in a bar.

I pushed past Cid and past the door and into the bar room and to find a freaking drink. I found that freaking drink and pegged it down in one shot. I was dieing inside.

The bar fight, the Jack of all trade, Raven, our futures in the hands of our aging boss, and then him him and him, then two halves of something bigger and everything all packed into one afternoon.

So thankful for that freaking drink.

[Denim88]

My head was bowed, my fists were clenching beside my sides, my eyes were shadowed. But they were glaring, they were glaring with everything I had. He touched me. After everything-- after everything that happened. Like nothing happened. This kitten was bullsh*t. There was a thing yes, and this man before me-- this thing before me had reached it. Had done it.

Crap...something was definitely wrong. I didn't say anything...I was in situations like this with her before. It was best to let her speak her thoughts...even if it took some time. She had a way of getting on edge quickly, and talking would only cause further difficulties for me.

"...How dare you." I icily growled. I knew he would be confused, I had imagined his face when I left-- the why's. Something I didn't know? What went through his mind the second he found out I was gone, that I had left and never came back. My nails dug into my glove as my right hand tightened. My other crawled up and grasped my tanktop-- where his used to belong. I whispered. My throat thick (he didn't deserve any more of my tears, he didn't deserve anything from me anymore) "You 'missed' me? You 'missed' me? Well, a fan-kittening-tastic job showing it, Vitty."

I might as well have spat on him. Instead, I chose my spit was too good to be wasted like that.

What the hell? She was angry...I didn't like her cold tone...it scared me in a way to be honest. It was times like these that reminded me of just how deadly Jyuuki was. She didn't kill, thank the heavens above for that...but she could bring you pretty damn close to that point...

"Jyuuki, what are you-?"

That clenched fist that I mentioned before? The one that was inducing self-inflicted pain by half-moon shaped nail marks? It was relieved when I cocked it back and flew it foward, where which the red-gloved fist connected with the face of blue-eyed boy--man--bastard-- in front of me I never pulled any punches and when I didn't, I never ever held back. He knew that, he's had hands-on experience with that. But one thing that absolutely sucked for him?

He hadn't known for a long, long time.

Anything I would have said was drowned out by the resonating crashing of a gloved fist to my right portion of my face. Damn it...she still hit as hard as ever...

I smacked back into the wall as I backed away from her. I tasted blood, and could feel my bottom lip swelling a bit, and I may have lost a tooth...wait, no, I didn't.

I looked at her with a slowly swelling eye, and listened as she spoke, anger clearly evident in her voice.

The air was still and I felt no one breathing, whoever was watching-- I didn't care, it was only me and him and he was out of my way and I was glad I could breathe. I took a step forward so I was standing beside him, his frozen by shock or fear or pain or whatever. Growling, as I whispered behind my teeth, "I left 'cause of you. So either leave me alone or go to hell-- I like it here and I'm not about to leave again."

I stood there for a moment, watching her go. Her words, surprisingly, were the part that hurt most...

"Left because of me?" I shot back, and spit out some spittle and blood, "...I'm sure..." I looked up at her back, she still hadn't turned to face me, "Well, I sure as hell would like to know what gave you a reason to go and DECK ME IN THE FACE!"

"For crying out loud, Jyuuki, the last time I saw you was out in outpost R-12! You freakin' up and left! Here I was, two hours before leaving for some platoon that I had been assigned to, and I was thinking, 'Gee, maybe Jyuuki would like to come with. She's always wanted to travel along with a platoon on missions, and I practically love the girl to death, so why not?' " I looked down for a second, and continued in a much more restrained and quiet tone, "I was going to ask you to come with, Jyu-chan...it was going to be a surp..." I shook my head, not sure if she was even listening, "...those friggin' Vierran archers kept hassling me to take one of them along, but they were just part of my duty. I HAD to train them...I didn't want to be with them...I know you didn't like them much either...I heard from other to verify that. I'm sorry...if it means anything."

Now I was starting to think back on that day...

"Ferrumo, have you decided on taking someone with you for the platoon?"

"Captain...I was going to ask Jyuuki if she wished to join...but she's not-"

"Ah, Jyuuki...she left last night...something about going off to work on recon for awhile..."

"She's GONE? Where? She didn't even...damn it! She would have loved to gone with me..." I shook my head and hopped on the large vehicle, "...I guess I'm ready then..."

I felt torn that day. She didn't even say goodbye...I had always suspected I was cause for her leaving...well, I was right.

"Jyu-chan...I know you don't want to...but if you give me some time...I'll explain it all to you..." I spoke quietly, staring at the small drips of blood falling to the floor. I couldn't lose her again...not before giving her a explanation. Was she suspecting that I had been with someone? Did she just get sick of me?

"...ten minutes...please, Jyuuki...ten minutes, and if you still won't believe me after then...I'll...I'll leave, and promise to never return here." That was kind of dumb, since I may sometime in the distant future stop here for an odd reason...

"Just ten minutes..."


I then noticed the barkeep walking towards me with a less than pleased look on his face, "Sir, I apologize for this...I...I didn't plan on seeing her...we were...well..." I thought for a moment, "...we were, more or less, in love, back then." I didn't say that I still loved her, pretty sure that she could understand that, "...if you're going to ask me to leave, then just please wait for her response. I'll leave and cause no further harm if she refuses my request..." I turned to her....hoping she'd be willing to hear me out.

She didn't stop though...she walked right out to the bar...

"Damn..." I got to my feet, and grumbled as I felt a nice bruise starting to show around my eye. How the hell did she hit so much of my face? I walked past the others, forgetting my need to go and use the washroom. I walked out to the bar, and over to her. One last time...one sure fire way could hopefully make her give in and listen...

"Jyu-chan...please...I don't want you to be angry at me for a reason that has no truth to it..." I didn't reach out to touch her, but I did notice something else, "...Jyuuki, it's not good to drink 160 proof like water...I always told you that drinking like that was bad for you...you never listened though to begin with..." I sighed, "...so...will you listen, or just kick me out?"

[Abel Nightroad]

OOC: @SB: Understood.

IC: Ronon raised his eyebrow at Cid's response, but said nothing. His other eyebrow rose to join the first when Jyuuki and Ferrumo had their reunion. Tilting his head to the side, he watched as Cid headed over to the two with a spear and the following events. Standing up, he walked over to Cid and placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"If you ask me," Ronon said, "that young lady strikes me as one who can handle a situation like those on her own. Besides, there are some things people need to handle themselves. I'm sure if she needs help...well, let me just say the odds here are most certainly not in this young man's favor.

"Oh, and on a different note....looks like you need a new spear. Hop over to my airship later and I'll see what I have in stock that you like, kay?"

[krisk]

"For crying out loud, Jyuuki, the last time I saw you was out in outpost R-12! You freakin' up and left! Here I was, two hours before leaving for some platoon that I had been assigned to, and I was thinking, 'Gee, maybe Jyuuki would like to come with. She's always wanted to travel along with a platoon on missions, and I practically love the girl to death, so why not?' " I looked down for a second, and continued in a much more restrained and quiet tone, "I was going to ask you to come with, Jyu-chan...it was going to be a surp..." I shook my head, not sure if she was even listening, "...those friggin' Vierran archers kept hassling me to take one of them along, but they were just part of my duty. I HAD to train them...I didn't want to be with them...I know you didn't like them much either...I heard from other to verify that. I'm sorry...if it means anything."

I bit my lip as I stared ahead, at the damage, at Cid's attempt to clean it up himself, at the two other men in the room, but not really seeing. My mind was back on his words and was back on how I could agree to them and I didn't get it. Sure I remember that day, it had been one of those long ones where I knew it would be crappy-- crappy because he was leaving and I wasn't since I was supposed to be staying to train a whole jillion handfuls of new recruits.

See? Crap.

I mean, don't get me wrong; nothing would make me happier to see more with the skills that of yours truly running around and reeking havoc just like yours truly but what the hell. Why did I have to be the one? Why couldn't I just like, observe or something? And then there was my love-life or whatever you'd call it. Pfft, like it was even a love-life considering the way it turned out and it wasn't even my freaking fault.

I remember the few weeks before that, the news of having my ... him honing some new Vierra promotees (the lingo never appealed to me) skills in archery. And then the following weeks had been hell on earth, where the hell would be disgusting and gag-inducing and the devil was a stupid furry-fatass Vierra with her stupid ears and her stupid long legs that went on for motherfreaking forever which just didn't make sense either. Anyway, those stupid stupid Ogre-Bunnies had to be in heat or something because all they had wanted to do was get into their instructor's pants the whole time training.

And I seem to remember archery not involving arrows of that category.

And shut up, hell yeah I know this by first hand viewing. Like I said, since I have mad skills in observing from trees or you know what? Not even trees because that wasn't the place I wasn't not observing from. I used my observing abilities to watch Ferrumo's training regiments invited (the janitors knew I was there) and I could've so had someone else teach my own since I rocked hard in what I did and observing was one of them.

Whatever why am I even thinking back to this? Like I have to remind myself of the pros or cons or whatever was supposed to be my conscience at the moment. It was his fault, 'cause he was here and alive and he actually still smells the same and feels the same and holy kitten do I need another shot.

I growled and glared at my shot glass as I filled it up and knocked it back again, not really feeling the upside of the booze but the comforting feeling of the burn. Only then would the burning help (yeah it made sense, somehow, who cared, I didn't because the booze was booze and it was helping). Seriously though, I needed to get to what I needed to get to.

The job offer with Cid and that one Jack of all whatever and saving our futures. Mine and Shihna's and Raven's-- but I know what I'm doing and it's not good-- to do this. This when I avoided and shut out situations I didn't like and oh look nevermind because gawd here he followed me.

"Jyu-chan...please...I don't want you to be angry at me for a reason that has no truth to it..." I didn't reach out to touch her, but I did notice something else, "...Jyuuki, it's not good to drink 160 proof like water...I always told you that drinking like that was bad for you...you never listened though to begin with..." I sighed, "...so...will you listen, or just kick me out?"

I crossed my arms and glared at him, the lighting was better and my hazel eyes took in his whole face his whole appearance, took in him. He'd changed all his clothes, different from our regular threads back then, his hair was longer, his clothes were more thrifty and his whole self was rugged, laid-back, what I liked.

I scoffed.

'Good luck having me admit that now, babe.' I snarled slightly, remembering the things those Vierra fat bunny fiends had told me, about his looks about his body about his performance. The mental image of skin on fur was relieved when I had feigned momentarily pms and kicked their Ogre-Bunny asses that day. It made me grin inside, but not on the outside since I was then, glaring the hell out of everything, that everything seemed to be him. Then I skimmed his face and I felt slight comfort in that fisted-kiss I gave him was starting to welt nicely but I then fell into the abyss of crapville and no doubt my grandma would scold the living sunshine out of me as soon as I saw that scar. That scar that ran along his cheek, that scar that almost killed him he'd told me and I had been struck speechless and all I did was freaking say nothing and touched it with my lips.

My eyes flew back to his and I glared again, forcibly pushing my sympathy (it was expired for all I knew) and my rhetorically scolding granny conscience waggling her all-knowing justice finger in my face off the cliff of my mind.

All I did was hold his gaze for a few seconds, thinking if I should give him this chance and since I had been beaten with that belief that everyone deserved a second chance (thanks Grandpa) I quickly made up my mind and acted by reflex after my eyes scanned the hallway in the back, leading towards one of the storage rooms.

With a growl and no words, I stalked around the bar table, roughly grabbed the front of Ferrumo's shirt and dragged him towards that hallway and I was happy, so happy but guilty as hell for feeling happy at how natural the feel of dragging him somewhere he had no clue of felt. I brushed off that warm feeling, back in the present, and as soon as we came to the room (now us causing a scene will only have, I dunno, NO bystanders? kthx) I pushed him inside and slammed the door behind me, leaning against it.

He looked dazzled. Unsure and somehow I knew he'd felt that warmth from before. The bastard (and no I'm not a hypocrite, I'm allowed-- he isn't-- it's in the book of rules, look it up.) Anyway we got our standing and I crossed my arms, meaning business. The storage room was a familiar place no doubt between us, but no-- no no no nononono.

Just.

Business.

"Fine." I hissed, the storage room a good change to the long cold hallway (between 3 pairs of eyes and 3 judgements given) because it was more personal and I really really wanted to get this business personal meeting over with. Faster he gets his second chance to explain how he took all those Vierra hors the faster I could move on with my life-- again. "Fine, Vitty, fine. You wanna talk? Then talk, I'm listening. It's your word against all the stuff I heard-- the stories, the evidence. But no, it's not my turn issit? Nope, it's yours. Go ahead, take the floor sweetie."

[shadow_Uzumaki]

He turned to Ronon, "I know, wouldn't be the overprotective, concerned figure if I didn't at least appear with a spear in hand eh?" Blasted kids, this day's turning into an emotional drama.... He watched Jyuuki drag the boy towards the hallway, "Well, whatever. Jyu!" He yelled, "Remember to hide the body! That and gather the other girls when you're done, Mr. Archer here's got a proposal!" Turning back to Ronon again, "Now, about that spear...."

[Denim88]

I growled and glared at my shot glass as I filled it up and knocked it back again, not really feeling the upside of the booze but the comforting feeling of the burn. Only then would the burning help (yeah it made sense, somehow, who cared, I didn't because the booze was booze and it was helping). Seriously though, I needed to get to what I needed to get to.

I frowned, and gave her a rare disapproving look. She was usually a rather 'happy drinker' as I have been told. I would know, she usually tried to get me to get me to follow her into a room and somehow lock it. Those were crazy days...

I watched her drain the last of the alcohol and sighed. She wasn't happy, I could clearly see that...

I crossed my arms and glared at him, the lighting was better and my hazel eyes took in his whole face his whole appearance, took in him. He'd changed all his clothes, different from our regular threads back then, his hair was longer, his clothes were more thrifty and his whole self was rugged, laid-back, what I liked.

Now she was letting her eyes wander while still glaring. Had we been in a different situation, I would have probably flashed her a grin and asked her in some cliche' 'rugged voice' what a pretty face like her was doing in a place like this. Used that line on her when I finally got the courage to ask her out on a second date...she had been the one to, for the lack of a better word, threatened me to go out with her.

Needless to say, I didn't regret those days with her at the local pub. She was a flirt to others, and I knew this. She was also a bit possessive; she didn't like a girl talking to me, it made her uneasy and sometimes blade happy. However, despite the way she talked with the guys, she somehow always stuck with me on the way home at night. I questioned her once on why she liked me. She smacked me on the head and said that I was asking stupid questions...or something like that.

Maybe that's why I loved her. She balanced out my rather care-free attitude with her exuberant and fun-loving one. However, I also saw the rare part of her. The gentle side, the one that would scold me as she put on the guaze strap around my arm because I was too stupid to take care of it.

'Good luck having me admit that now, babe.' I snarled slightly, remembering the things those Vierra fat bunny fiends had told me, about his looks about his body about his performance. The mental image of skin on fur was relieved when I had feigned momentarily pms and kicked their Ogre-Bunny asses that day. It made me grin inside, but not on the outside since I was then, glaring the hell out of everything, that everything seemed to be him. Then I skimmed his face and I felt slight comfort in that fisted-kiss I gave him was starting to welt nicely but I then fell into the abyss of crapville and no doubt my grandma would scold the living sunshine out of me as soon as I saw that scar. That scar that ran along his cheek, that scar that almost killed him he'd told me and I had been struck speechless and all I did was freaking say nothing and touched it with my lips.

"Jyuuki..." I sighed, but didn't say more. She was adamant about this. I suppose in a way she had a good reason for her anger. I was really starting to hate how she was acting. She was...angry. I hated seeing her angry, because it meant she was hurting. I hated seeing her hurt...

With a growl and no words, I stalked around the bar table, roughly grabbed the front of Ferrumo's shirt and dragged him towards that hallway and I was happy, so happy but guilty as hell for feeling happy at how natural the feel of dragging him somewhere he had no clue of felt. I brushed off that warm feeling, back in the present, and as soon as we came to the room (now us causing a scene will only have, I dunno, NO bystanders? kthx) I pushed him inside and slammed the door behind me, leaning against it.

He looked dazzled. Unsure and somehow I knew he'd felt that warmth from before. The bastard (and no I'm not a hypocrite, I'm allowed-- he isn't-- it's in the book of rules, look it up.) Anyway we got our standing and I crossed my arms, meaning business. The storage room was a familiar place no doubt between us, but no-- no no no nononono.

Just.

Business.

"Fine." I hissed, the storage room a good change to the long cold hallway (between 3 pairs of eyes and 3 judgements given) because it was more personal and I really really wanted to get this business personal meeting over with. Faster he gets his second chance to explain how he took all those Vierra hors the faster I could move on with my life-- again. "Fine, Vitty, fine. You wanna talk? Then talk, I'm listening. It's your word against all the stuff I heard-- the stories, the evidence. But no, it's not my turn issit? Nope, it's yours. Go ahead, take the floor sweetie."

I blinked, and leaned against the opposite side of the cramped room. This brought back memories...being stuck in a small room. Gah...reality, reality. She's pissed, and looks ready to kill. The bar owner didn't sound concerned for my well-being either...

I considered for a second my options if violence were to start. Jyuuki was fast, and could kill a guy like me twelve different ways with a hair pin; but she didn't kill.

I nodded, and decided to just numb my emotions for now, "Jyuuki, before you go and say anything else, let me say this: I didn't get involved with any of those Vierran women, or with anyone for that matter. You were the first girl I had been with, and to this day, the only one."

I took a deep breath, and continued, "Jyuuki...here's the truth. Yes, I did leave with the platoon for a position among them. Here's something you didn't know though. I was forced to take that position after declining the first offer..."

Jyuuki's eyebrow quirked ever so slightly at that remark, "I was originally offered to be a Commander in the Edo Stealth Force. That's basically the highest ranking area a soldier of my field can go, aside from Commander in Chief." I watched her reaction, she seemed to be understanding of what I was saying, but was still glaring. Damn it...

"The reason for that first decline was because I didn't want to leave. I asked, and I quote, "I will go as long as Officer Jyuuki is able to be with me." They said that it was impossible; you weren't of the right qualifications which I think was utter crock, but yeah, that's another story..." I took in a deep breath before I started ranting. That happened when things like people doubting Jyu-chan's abilities came around...

"Jyu-chan...I also never got a chance to say goodbye because during that whole week when I was getting ready to leave, I had to sign document after document stating I would help with my platoon, read over my duties, that stuff...the thing is, you would have been able to join me, and as a high ranking Leiutenant. I..." I looked down, here was the part I hated, "I know you would have found out about this...and...well, I was worried about what you'd say if I told you I was getting transferred. I mean...you always said that I was stuck at the bottom of the ranks because I didn't try hard enough. Then that first offer came up for a title as Commander...well, I didn't want you to know. I wanted to stay with you...I could care less about the Vierran-archers..." I looked up again, and felt two years of pain starting to well up again, "Damn it, Jyu-chan. I love you...still do...must be some curse. I was unable to find someone else. I kept comparing them to you. Any pretty face that tried to talk to me...they fell short of you..."

I grit my teeth. I would NOT be like this in front of her. I was feeling my eyes itch. Dust...must be the dust...

"Jyu-chan...I..." I used a choice profanity before going on, "...I would have given up working for the Republic if it I could be with you." I pulled back the collar of my shirt, and pointed at my left shoulder, "Don't you remember? This meant more than any words...damn it. This symbolized the bond between us. Stronger than any petty vow...it meant undivided love and trust. How we could always rely on each other. The arrow and the shuriken...flying together...don't you remember?!" I raised my voice, pretty sure tears were in my eyes now.

"You think I'm that shallow?! That I'd go and fool around with some Vierrans that hardly know my name, let alone who I am?!" I shook my head as I tried to calm myself down, "...Jyuuki...I guess...I wanted to say that...even if you hate me, you deserve to hear the whole story. Rumors are rumors...I thought you'd be one of the few who still knew me." No, don't go and turn the blame, "...I can't blame you though. Those damn archer women were horrible...I've heard of what they say."

I took in one last deep breath, and looked to her. I couldn't think of anything else to say...just wait and see what she had to say.

[Sakura~Kitsune]

OOC: @SB: Understood.

IC: Ronon raised his eyebrow at Cid's response, but said nothing. His other eyebrow rose to join the first when Jyuuki and Ferrumo had their reunion. Tilting his head to the side, he watched as Cid headed over to the two with a spear and the following events. Standing up, he walked over to Cid and placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"If you ask me," Ronon said, "that young lady strikes me as one who can handle a situation like those on her own. Besides, there are some things people need to handle themselves. I'm sure if she needs help...well, let me just say the odds here are most certainly not in this young man's favor.

"Oh, and on a different note....looks like you need a new spear. Hop over to my airship later and I'll see what I have in stock that you like, kay?"

Have in stock?

Since my ears could not help but perk up at this sudden statement, my body responded with the usual motion; shooting up in a sudden surprise before beginning on the hunt for something new. I was stressed as it is, possessing the feeling to do nothing but spend hours ripping my hair out in distress. Better yet, why don't I just try out a simple target practice? Forcefully (yet carelessly) aiming my lovely dagger at who-knows-what could probably place some sort of smile upon my face... that is, until I 'accidentally' jab someone in either the chest or face. Wouldn't that be the story of the week... accidental slaughtering in neutral bar-airship after one of the workers unleashed her fury out on the bystanders: and that would get me fired, wouldn't it?

But at this moment, I truly did need some sort of stress-reliever, and this 'hop' onto a fellow airship might be the reliever I've been looking for. It was pretty humorous to see that in just a few moments... I could end up like this. Thinking back to the dark stages of my life, that certain demon who supposedly claimed me from years before, and him. A certain someone a part of the Pirate Mafia in which I never wish to speak about yet again. That bastard ruined my life along side the rest of them (but he seemed to affect me the most), and no matter how hard Miri tried; her threats never ceased the pain I felt.

Miri was overprotective towards me, unless when it came to using me as a tool. I never could understand why she constantly watched over me despite her murderous personality. As she told me during my imprisionment... she would wipe the floor with anyone's blood that dared touch me. Never could imagine that she was serious about that.

But after that certain day.

Seeing body move in a certain way as she danced within a shower of blood, that smile gracing her face and the corpse that resided beside her legs. Just the sight of that sent chills within my body, making the blood rush at an unbelievable slow pace that had me wondering if I was dying on the inside. And to just make matters worse, that cold hand of hers (and those sharpened nails) grazed my cheek and yet no blood made it's way down my face. A unusual glint in her golden eyes, and the mixture of coldness and warmth overflooded both me and her palm; back then, I felt safe around her.

Gods. It wasn't right to think about that Miri. Why couldn't I just remember the main facts of it all...

Miri did not try to save me that last time. After what he did to me, the look on her face only gave off an emotion of disappointment. And like that, she was gone...

Why couldn't I just get over this?!

I hated her!

"So you have some weaponry over there? Alright if I tag along?" My response was somewhat mumbled, but I really needed to find some sort of anti-drug. Standing up on wobbley legs, my darkened eyes glanced towards Ronon with a questionable look. However, my features also proved that I wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. After having my legs severely beaten, being thrown through a door, mocked by Jyuuki, and now this guy who nearly got his lights knocked out from Jyuuki... I DESERVED a look of my own. I mean, it wasn't like I was going to attempt the chance of stealing some things.

Or would I?

Glancing towards Jyuuki and the new guy, I could only shake my head in disapproval at what was about to take place. Going into the storage room was something new for the former thief, which could only mean that this conversation between those two was that of a private matter. I wouldn't even think of stressing Jyuuki over what the problem was after seeing the sudden events that took place; especially the complete change in personality. Although I was counting on placing my frenemy into a quick/semi-long embrace before the night was over. For some reason, it looked like she was going to need a hug more than I ever could. Although... this guy... Vitty or whatever the hell his name was... continued to piss me off. And I didn't even know the guy!

Anyone who could do this to Jyuuki basically was on my bad side.

A known fact in my mind.

"Hey Stranger," I called towards the closed storage door, my eyes flaring as I walked passed it. Stabbing daggers into the cheap wood, just waiting for the damn thing to explode. "I swear... you do anything foolish to my sister and I'll hunt you down." It wasn't occasional for me to even speak of Jyuuki as my sister, but whenever things began to disturb me and was revolved around Jyuuki, I couldn't help but convert myself to the sisterly feel. And with a sudden toss, my dagger impacted against the dreaded wood of the closest, making sure that my threat was made clear.

I noticed that the blade had not clattered against the floor... it was still lodged in there.

Score one for Shihna~

Sure, Jyuuki might be mad at me because of my actions, but I couldn't help myself. She knows me better than anyone here, which results to knowing what I'd do when it came to these situations. So what if I had issues?

He turned to Ronon, "I know, wouldn't be the overprotective, concerned figure if I didn't at least appear with a spear in hand eh?" Blasted kids, this day's turning into an emotional drama.... He watched Jyuuki drag the boy towards the hallway, "Well, whatever. Jyu!" He yelled, "Remember to hide the body! That and gather the other girls when you're done, Mr. Archer here's got a proposal!" Turning back to Ronon again, "Now, about that spear...."

Attempting to make my way towards Ronon and Cid, a small smile graced my lips before I glanced back over to Raven's location. Hand reaching out, I asked her a simple question. It didn't see right if my newest sister was going to be left behind in this 'adventure' of the sort.

"Hey Rave, care to tag along?"

[Abel Nightroad]

Ronon's uncovered eye took in the three before him as his eyebrows returned to their normal placement.

"Spears, poles, staves, daggers, axes, hammers, maces, katana, great swords, rods, bows, arrows, crossbows, bolts, guns, bullets....you name the type, I probably have several different versions that fit that category of weapon. As well as armor, shields, accessories, and other stuff," he replied, "in fact, Cid...you don't mind if I call you that?...I think I have a spear in mind you might like. And, as for you," he gestured at Shihna, "young lady...I'm afraid I didn't catch your name...how about a new dagger? As for anything else I have you might like, go ahead and browse through the rest. If you want something and I don't have the exact thing you asked for....let's just say I have my ways of getting things delivered."

As he spoke, he mentally ran through the locations he kept his inventory in aboard the Enterprise and where the specific spear and dagger he was thinking of for the two would be in all of it.

"For you," he turned to address Raven, "I'm afraid I don't know what weapon type you would prefer, so I can't take the chance of giving you something you don't know how to use. As such, feel free to let me know if you find something you like in my inventory."

Turning back to Cid, he inquired, "Should I call for a transport large enough to fit all who are going or are you comfortable with docking the two airships together...at least for the time being?"

OOC: So, continue in this thread...or should I make the seperate thread for my airship for us to RP this in?

[shadow_Uzumaki]

He was drooling, "Spears...spears!" Even better, a spear that may be exactly for him! God it's heaven! Ronon's voice shook him from his stupor. "Dock the ships, Shin, don't steal anything, got it?" (OOC:Keep it together for the meantime)

Edited by shadow_Uzumaki, 21 December 2008 - 11:08 PM.

[Sakura Blossoms]

There seemed to be some major boyfriend/girlfriend drama going on between Jyu, and that random weird new guy.

I didn't want to get involved, and was so very glad that I wasn't involved with anyone who could make me act like Jyu was acting right now.

Being in love seemed to suck too much. I would avoid it as long as I could.

Attempting to make my way towards Ronon and Cid, a small smile graced my lips before I glanced back over to Raven's location. Hand reaching out, I asked her a simple question. It didn't see right if my newest sister was going to be left behind in this 'adventure' of the sort.

"Hey Rave, care to tag along?"

I smiled up at Shin, nodded at her, and reached out and took her offered hand in mine.

"For you," he turned to address Raven, "I'm afraid I don't know what weapon type you would prefer, so I can't take the chance of giving you something you don't know how to use. As such, feel free to let me know if you find something you like in my inventory."

I nodded at this new guy, and waited quietly by Shin's side for us to go to this guy's airship to check out his inventory.

[krisk]

"Jyuuki, before you go and say anything else, let me say this: I didn't get involved with any of those Vierran women, or with anyone for that matter. You were the first girl I had been with, and to this day, the only one."

"Jyuuki...here's the truth. Yes, I did leave with the platoon for a position among them. Here's something you [i]didn't know though. I was forced to take that position after declining the first offer..."

"I was originally offered to be a Commander in the Edo Stealth Force. That's basically the highest ranking area a soldier of my field can go, aside from Commander in Chief."

I watched her reaction, she seemed to be understanding of what I was saying, but was still glaring. Damn it...

I had told myself to keep a cool head, to keep that posture up, to keep those two arms crossed infront of an unyielding metaphorical invisible shield of indifference and you can guess how stupid I felt when I realized with each passing second, each passing word was slowly forming stupid cracks in my shield. Seriously, this was unfair. I spent so so so long getting over him (was I even? shut up grandma) and now everyone seemed to be against me, Vitty as the head of the Let's-Break-the-Exgirlfriend's-Resolve! club and this tiny room was his and all my stupid consciences club room and holy mother of suffocation was the room shrinking? It probably was, I knew these things-- had these senses.

Either way, I could feel the tip of the forgiveness blade of justice he was now stabbing into my fortress of indifference as I listened.

The whole you-were-my-first bit was to be expected, so I had already ducked behind that one but what made me want to go up to him and smack him over the head was that he'd first declined the offer because of me. Ugh, what a STUPID. I wanted to growl so badly, wanted to yell at him, remind him that I've told him not to let me or anybody else get in the way of his success and that I would understand and that I expected him not to be a complete moron when making decisions. And, not only that, not ONLY was I feeling rage and pain and guilt because it may have almost been my fault he'd have to stay behind (our superiors were pricks, there would be a fat chance that they'd let me go-- I'd bad rep) but I was also feeling pride.

Gawd I wanted to smile and hug him for being offered such a position. I mean, it wasn't surprising, this guy, this man before me could take down an army with his reflexes, his speed, his aim, his skills-- so why not Commander? I'd expect my bo--

I glared again. Resolve built up once more. Take it slow, Jyuuki, not too fast-- be cautious, you can't just grab ahold of his napsack and demand he spill what he knew (like before! good times). No. Glare and frown and do all the things that would totally get you sent away for suspicion of having amnesia by Cid and Shihn. Glare and frown and be angry and don't let up.

Review.

Okay, Commander of the Edo S-Force. That I could believe, since I expected clarification.

And fine, I knew I couldn't come-- again bad rep, I did what I wanted, in my own ways because I hated the book and I think it had always been like that. Either way, I could believe him on that.

Now back to glaring and scowling and the small small small fear that I would end up crying if he brought up certain topics.

Correction; glaring and scowling and hoping, just for the sake of my super shield of indifference that took freaking forever to build.

"The reason for that first decline was because I didn't want to leave. I asked, and I quote, "I will go as long as Officer Jyuuki is able to be with me." They said that it was impossible; you weren't of the right qualifications which I think was utter crock, but yeah, that's another story..." I took in a deep breath before I started ranting. That happened when things like people doubting Jyu-chan's abilities came around...

Now my forehead itched. I wanted to smack it like woah.

Actually, smacking him would suffice too. I mean, I'm not picky and holy crap I knew it. Captain Deaf, Blond, and Stupid had done what I feared and risked his future for me. For me. On that thought, I had never been so glad to have left. You had to know when to leave and since I wasn't sure if that was the right choice and maybe it hadn't been back then but gawd was I ever so grateful that Ferrumo would've not gotten that position, would've stayed and had his skills go to waste, a no future with me.

Score one of me even though, y'know bitter wins sucked.

Anyway, my anger only coupled when he said more to the confirmation of me not going only not just because of my having that book-burner 'tude, but because I hadn't been qualified!? Jesus, did I crave to see those old farts in their stiff uniforms right that second-- hell, I would've maybe turned down a fortune in steak and massages and money just to verbally butt-destroy them. I knew as soon as I came back with disapproval stained into my mission reports and the second after I walked out of their stuffy, old man-smelling offices I would be that soldier-- that officer-- (and after finding out that I'd been promoted to Captain if I got a hand at training a new regiment) that Captain.

But I didn't care.

I hadn't planned on staying there for long-- but eh, by turn of fate, I did. And what a rep I built up as an oxymoron with legs. Woo boy, did the meaner high-ups hate me. It was great.

But -- no -- hell no did that excuse them from denying me the right to join another division-- even if I was involved with other divisions myself. There'd been temporary transfers, they existed and holy crap do I suddenly want to punch something. But I came back to reality soon enough and my worst fears were answered, were approved, were right in front of me and I just had to think Thanks, ya unforgiving goddesses for my luck.

What misfortune graced me as soon as I came back to reality, came back to the storage room, came back to the kittening past I'd worked so hard to avoid?

He was breaking.

And I wanted to catch him.

"Jyu-chan...I also never got a chance to say goodbye because during that whole week when I was getting ready to leave, I had to sign document after document stating I would help with my platoon, read over my duties, that stuff...the thing is, you would have been able to join me, and as a high ranking Leiutenant. I..." I looked down, here was the part I hated, "I know you would have found out about this...and...well, I was worried about what you'd say if I told you I was getting transferred. I mean...you always said that I was stuck at the bottom of the ranks because I didn't try hard enough. Then that first offer came up for a title as Commander...well, I didn't want you to know. I wanted to stay with you...I could care less about the Vierran-archers..." I looked up again, and felt two years of pain starting to well up again, "Damn it, Jyu-chan. I love you...still do...must be some curse. I was unable to find someone else. I kept comparing them to you. Any pretty face that tried to talk to me...they fell short of you..."

I grit my teeth. I would NOT be like this in front of her. I was feeling my eyes itch. Dust...must be the dust...

"Jyu-chan...I..." I used a choice profanity before going on, "...I would have given up working for the Republic if it I could be with you." I pulled back the collar of my shirt, and pointed at my left shoulder, "Don't you remember? This meant more than any words...damn it. This symbolized the bond between us. Stronger than any petty vow...it meant undivided love and trust. How we could always rely on each other. The arrow and the shuriken...flying together...don't you remember?!" I raised my voice, pretty sure tears were in my eyes now.

"You think I'm that shallow?! That I'd go and fool around with some Vierrans that hardly know my name, let alone who I am?!" I shook my head as I tried to calm myself down, "...Jyuuki...I guess...I wanted to say that...even if you hate me, you deserve to hear the whole story. Rumors are rumors...I thought you'd be one of the few who still knew me." No, don't go and turn the blame, "...I can't blame you though. Those damn archer women were horrible...I've heard of what they say."

I took in one last deep breath, and looked to her. I couldn't think of anything else to say...just wait and see what she had to say.

He'd done it.

He'd so done it.

I looked on, my arms uncrossed, my posture not so hard and stiff and cold, my face slowly softening as I felt like I was choking on my bottled emotion, and goddamnit did my year old shield just shatter into a million pieces. I wanted to grit my teeth and shout and stomp my feet and yell about how unfair this was. It was-- I didn't know who to believe but I'm starting to believe him but I just can't let go.

But I did let go of my silence. I shoved a gloved finger at him, and my face felt like it was on fire because I was just basically running out of trust-rope. "I KNOW OK? I know you, or I thought I did! I thought I knew you, Vitty, I thought. But you had just changed! You didn't tell me stuff anymore, you kept things to yourself, you dodged questions about the platoon and I couldn't ask you about those Vierran hors because I knew you hated it when I got that way about them! And you wouldn't SPILL when I bugged you about stuff! You always did when I got annoying enough! So what the HELL did you expect me to think!?" I shouted, screamed, any category that fit at him.

I was breathing heavily and biting my lip and shaking and I was pretty sure I was crying, crying just like those month-- those damn months I wish had never existed. I angrily swiped at my eyes and cursed my tear ducts to hell for getting over-excited. I breathed again and growled heavily out, slowly and lowly, "...and what the hell was I supposed to think when those Vierran fur-covered sl*t-bags came to me telling me oh-so vivid tales of them and you? During practice? After practice? They even showed me your clothes, Vitty. And don't give me any of that crap about how they must've slipped in and gotten them okay? I THOUGHT of that beforehand! I'm not stupid, I'm not so easily gullible.. but what was I supposed to think when you wouldn't talk to me anymore or when you avoided topics when you basically just... changed." I hiccuped alittle before remembering that he'd brought out our sign and I suddenly raked my hands over my right shoulder. "And don't go preaching to me about how much I loved you enough to get this tattoo. How much it meant to both of us because I know-- So. Don't."

I suddenly felt emotionally drained, I didn't know what to do anymore-- do I believe him? How should I do that? Why should I? I know I want too, and I really really don't think those Vierrans were telling the truth

-- but. It was just that thing. There was still something there that made me skeptic and it sucked because I couldn't let it go. Was it the comfort? Was it the fact that it was easier to hate him than forgive him for me thinking he'd do that to me? That he'd leave me because of me? It had happened before and there was no one to say it wouldn't happen again.

I couldn't think, I couldn't forgive him but I wanted to and I just let those (his) tears fall slowly as I backed up against the door, slid down and brought my knees to my chest where I promptly ground my head into the top of them, at the fight-worn knees. The ground was probably my best friend in the room because it provided a much-needed foundation for all those insanity. So I used it to sit and hide, since it was the only thing I could do because I didn't want to run but I didn't want to fight so I just shook as sobs wracked my hunched form and hid. I mumbled out incoherency though, since I figured it was a private room and maybe he'd know what to do. "Vitty... I just... I -- I wanna believe you--gawd-- do I wanna. But.. I can't. I spent all that time getting over you and you know you and your moronic self is the hardest thing to get over, and I totally blame you. I ... you-- I can't trust you until I know I can.. it's just--" I bit my lip in my area of angst and finished blubbering out, "I need to know it's okay to trust, believe you..."

I really was at a lost, stuck, all in one.

[Denim88]

But I did let go of my silence. I shoved a gloved finger at him, and my face felt like it was on fire because I was just basically running out of trust-rope. "I KNOW OK? I know you, or I thought I did! I thought I knew you, Vitty, I thought. But you had just changed! You didn't tell me stuff anymore, you kept things to yourself, you dodged questions about the platoon and I couldn't ask you about those Vierran hors because I knew you hated it when I got that way about them! And you wouldn't SPILL when I bugged you about stuff! You always did when I got annoying enough! So what the HELL did you expect me to think!?" I shouted, screamed, any category that fit at him.

I looked at her with a mixture of surprise and...relief? Yeah, relief. She was finally talking to me. Like she used to...yelling. I felt a tiny, tiny flicker of hope grow, but I didn't let me get all excited. Yelling was one of her best ways of getting her point clear. I knew at that moment that at least she wanted to communicate.

I nodded at the point she made. Yeah...I had been rather distant with her during that two week period...Ferrumo, you idiot, "Yeah...you've got me there. I didn't really...talk to you at all." I looked up at her with a sad smile, "...maybe I didn't want to be reminded of what I'd be leaving? I don't know. You know me; a complete and utter moron sometimes." I finally let my exhaustion from the past day's travel, coupled by this meeting, and leaned against the wall as I sunk into a sitting position.

I was breathing heavily and biting my lip and shaking and I was pretty sure I was crying, crying just like those month-- those damn months I wish had never existed. I angrily swiped at my eyes and cursed my tear ducts to hell for getting over-excited. I breathed again and growled heavily out, slowly and lowly, "...and what the hell was I supposed to think when those Vierran fur-covered sl*t-bags came to me telling me oh-so vivid tales of them and you? During practice? After practice? They even showed me your clothes, Vitty. And don't give me any of that crap about how they must've slipped in and gotten them okay? I THOUGHT of that beforehand! I'm not stupid, I'm not so easily gullible.. but what was I supposed to think when you wouldn't talk to me anymore or when you avoided topics when you basically just... changed." I hiccuped alittle before remembering that he'd brought out our sign and I suddenly raked my hands over my right shoulder. "And don't go preaching to me about how much I loved you enough to get this tattoo. How much it meant to both of us because I know-- So. Don't."

Crap, now she was crying...well, shedding tears at least. Now I felt horrible, "Jyu-chan..." I shook my head. She wasn't in the mood for a lecture on the tattoo and meanings behind it. Truthfully, neither was I.

I scratched my head, and waited for her to finish. She looked like she wanted to get this out more than I did...

I couldn't think, I couldn't forgive him but I wanted to and I just let those (his) tears fall slowly as I backed up against the door, slid down and brought my knees to my chest where I promptly ground my head into the top of them, at the fight-worn knees. The ground was probably my best friend in the room because it provided a much-needed foundation for all those insanity. So I used it to sit and hide, since it was the only thing I could do because I didn't want to run but I didn't want to fight so I just shook as sobs wracked my hunched form and hid. I mumbled out incoherency though, since I figured it was a private room and maybe he'd know what to do. "Vitty... I just... I -- I wanna believe you--gawd-- do I wanna. But.. I can't. I spent all that time getting over you and you know you and your moronic self is the hardest thing to get over, and I totally blame you. I ... you-- I can't trust you until I know I can.. it's just--" I bit my lip in my area of angst and finished blubbering out, "I need to know it's okay to trust, believe you..."

I really was at a lost, stuck, all in one.

For a moment, we said nothing...just sat there in silence. My breathing was a bit quicker, and she was sitting against the door, trying not to show her frustrationg and emotions too much. I once again had to restrain myself from reaching over and holding her. No, she'd hit me for that. She always did in the past (after the initial half hour she did stay like that with me).

"...I understand." I sighed, "...if...if it's time you need, I can give you that. I don't know if they others will want me around though...seeing the impression I made here, heh. I'm pretty sure the barkeep had a spear hiding in one hand when he was walking towards me before, not to mention your friend had made her intentions clear, if the knife in the door is any indication, hahaha..." I chuckled for a moment, and looked to her, "Jyuuki...just remember that no matter what happens, I still care for you. If you want to deck me a few more punches, by all means, go ahead. I won't stop you...I never did before."

I grinned...the same grin I had when we were younger...less talented...less worried about the war, and more worried about when we could get out of our squad drills and sneak out to some shed for a good fifteen minutes...

In the back of my mind, part of me said that she was being unreasonable...but then the more logical part said that it was both of our faults. I hadn't been smart enough to talk to her about these things...and she had been to caught up in the stupid drama with those damn Vierrans to try and make up her own mind...or something like that.

The minute she said something about clothes and Vierrans, I frowned...that must have been where all those shirts and boxers of mine disappeared when I went to go bring my clothing to the outpost's laundromat. Figures that they'd do that...I didn't bother to say this though, Jyuuki probably already thought of that one. She wanted to know she could trust me...

More or less, she needed time. I'd give that to her.

I got up, and spoke, "Hmmm...well, I do recall one particularly annoying archer who said she'd 'show me a good time' after practice." I noticed Jyuuki's eyes immediately look to mine, "I used one of those lines you suggested, and said 'I'm allergic to animal dandruff, and I was running low on medication.' She didn't seem to happy when I said that, heheh." I plastered a fake grin, trying to shove away the pain for now. I could cope with it on my own time. For now...I wanted to try and fix things...

I slowly held out a hand for Jyuuki, and spoke, "I'm willing to try and start things fresh if you are...I'm not saying we should put the past behind us...but I do want to try and learn to forgive." How ironic...I hadn't forgiven myself yet, and here I was trying to say that Jyuuki and I should try and forgive each other...

Well...either way...I was glad that I finally was able to find the person who had been in the back of my mind for about two years. If I could find a way to make amends with her, and maybe, maybe start over with her...I'd be happy.

[krisk]

For a moment, we said nothing...just sat there in silence. My breathing was a bit quicker, and she was sitting against the door, trying not to show her frustrationg and emotions too much. I once again had to restrain myself from reaching over and holding her. No, she'd hit me for that. She always did in the past (after the initial half hour she did stay like that with me).

"...I understand." I sighed, "...if...if it's time you need, I can give you that. I don't know if the others will want me around though...seeing the impression I made here, heh. I'm pretty sure the barkeep had a spear hiding in one hand when he was walking towards me before, not to mention your friend had made her intentions clear, if the knife in the door is any indication, hahaha..." I chuckled for a moment, and looked to her, "Jyuuki...just remember that no matter what happens, I still care for you. If you want to deck me a few more punches, by all means, go ahead. I won't stop you...I never did before."

I knew I should've lifted my head and looked at him when he started talking, it felt right -- if I did that, but all I did was look over the top of my knees and through my bangs. Though, his next words make me chuckle lightly through my sniffles since it was true. Cid and Shihn really were crazy when it came to me and vice versa-- even though Shihn and I had had our differences and even though we enjoyed making eachother's lives hell, that sister-like bond always shone through when times called for it. Like back then with her knife in the wall and Vitty's expression and how the sounds of her threat made me feel enormous amounts of happiness and how I couldn't thank the goddesses enough because man did Shihna being my sister sound good right then and there. I always needed that-- my brothers, long gone, having not seen them in what felt like forever made me cherish that sort of bond with someone. And Shihna was that someone who I could, if threatened for my life, would admit to her being my kin. And then there was Cid-- him and his spear and the fact that he reminded me of a really really old big brother mixed with a creepy uncle that could get just a little bit too crazy and then lastly him being part-friend, who needed to be made fun of. I loved them both, so much.

Anyway, I just kept my place on my bestfriends back and stiffled my watery grin behind my knees.

I got up, and spoke, "Hmmm...well, I do recall one particularly annoying archer who said she'd 'show me a good time' after practice." I noticed Jyuuki's eyes immediately look to mine, "I used one of those lines you suggested, and said 'I'm allergic to animal dandruff, and I was running low on medication.' She didn't seem to happy when I said that, heheh." I plastered a fake grin, trying to shove away the pain for now. I could cope with it on my own time. For now...I wanted to try and fix things...

I pushed what he said about those damn Vierran off my thought-train (and more likely into the tracks where -- oh yeah) as soon as I noticed that grin of his. I knew that upturned smile. I knew I remembered it. This stupid infront of me would use it when hiding injuries I knew he had, when hiding bad news of his friends of our friends, when hiding hiding hiding away.

I hated it.

And I hated how he was willing to shove aside himself for me. Again. He just cared and worried and loved so damn much, I couldn't stand it and as much as I told him to stop it or I'd make him he just ...wouldn't.

Me before him. Not this time and this time I wasn't going to run away, I sure as hell would not let myself or him for that matter (seriously he wasn't going anywhere) run from this, us.

I slowly held out a hand for Jyuuki, and spoke, "I'm willing to try and start things fresh if you are...I'm not saying we should put the past behind us...but I do want to try and learn to forgive." How ironic...I hadn't forgiven myself yet, and here I was trying to say that Jyuuki and I should try and forgive each other...

Well...either way...I was glad that I finally was able to find the person who had been in the back of my mind for about two years. If I could find a way to make amends with her, and maybe, maybe start over with her...I'd be happy.

I could tell he wavered when he began but felt more... more himself when he said he wanted to work on us before anything else. I so knew Vitty, I know that you haven't forgiven yourself for helping this get to where it was-- I had, along time ago-- now, knowing that if I had stayed you wouldn't have excelled-- but you haven't.

I looked at his hand, glaring slightly, then back into his face where the stupid see-through smirk was. He was unsure and crumbling inside, blaming himself and not forgiving what needed to be first before anything else. I scoffed and relaxed my knees, sitting cross-legged and leaning against my other best friend the door. A moment passed and I crossed my arms again, glaring slightly at his hand and then at his face, locking eyes-- a beat.

"E lymm pimmcred."

It was only the two of us but really, I felt that I really really could care less who knew. I was part Al-Bhed. The race that seemed to have hit the growth-spurt of the century a few something eons ago. Nevertheless, it had been a recessive thing in my family-- started in one of my great-great-great-great grandmothers direct bloodline. The language though? I knew it, my gram-gram had focused on that part of me prominently, basically beat me with the fact I had Al Bhedian blood in me. So yeah, I knew the language, I knew our customs, I knew that those small swirls in my eyes and the fact that when I cried it hurt after (but I'd gotten used to it, I'd had plenty of practice) and whenever I spoke the dialect, it depended on the situation (yes the situation) was because of what ran through my veins.

Anyway, I noticed that he was struck grounded for a little bit after I growled that out, so I repeated it for his sake (I tried teaching him, but he was so arggh about it that I'd given up, frustrated). "E lymm pimmcred, Vitty. Lid dra lnyb. Cut the crap." I called him out on him, he was faking something and I wanted him to ... to let me help him first, before anybody else. I shook my head and I frowned, disappointed in the fact that he thought he could get past me. "I'm not taking your hand. I know that grin, I know so stop pushing it aside. You can't forgive me until you forgive yourself first and so, just stop.... Please." I knew what to do, and if he would let me, I would... I would help him first, just like before-- it'd feel right. And we needed more rights in this room full of so much freaking wrong.




(OOC: uhh.. on that whole making another thread, Abel, my vote goes to you starting one once you guys get on the actual ship ship-- so the moving process isn't so crammed. 8D SO YEAH MAKE ANOTHER THREAD, THAT'S MY VOTE. BD)

[Denim88]

"E lymm pimmcred."

Aw crud, she was speaking Al Bhedian again. She only did that on a rare occasion with me. I've never been able to pick up on it, aside from a few phrases. Other than that, the only time I ever heard that was when she was trying to scold me, reciting phrases from her childhood, or when she was speaking to me intimately...as far as I knew that's the only time she ever did.

Anyway, I noticed that he was struck grounded for a little bit after I growled that out, so I repeated it for his sake (I tried teaching him, but he was so arggh about it that I'd given up, frustrated). "E lymm pimmcred, Vitty. Lid dra lnyb. Cut the crap." I called him out on him, he was faking something and I wanted him to ... to let me help him first, before anybody else. I shook my head and I frowned, disappointed in the fact that he thought he could get past me. "I'm not taking your hand. I know that grin, I know so stop pushing it aside. You can't forgive me until you forgive yourself first and so, just stop.... Please." I knew what to do, and if he would let me, I would... I would help him first, just like before-- it'd feel right. And we needed more rights in this room full of so much freaking wrong.

...dang, she really hadn't lost her touch. A politician would have a hard time lying to her...

I dropped the fake grin, and gave her a small smile, not as joyful, but still happy...a little at least. I shook my head a bit, and spoke one of the few bits of the language I learned, "Jyu-chan, oui chaygo meddma kunoichi." I grinned. Sneaky little kunoichi...she had hated that. It probably angered most of all because it showed I could learn the language...if I actually put some real effort into it, "...I guess you're right." I let my hand drop a bit, and I scratched my head a bit, "...two years can do a lot to a person, eh?" I cracked my neck a bit and spoke, "Well...I suppose we better not keep them waiting out there much longer. The death glares I can handle; the spears and knives may be a problem though."