143 replies to this topic

[Jwolf0]

Congrats on finishing Ciardha! Especially liked Zipper as well, 'Legendary Rabbit Pair' indeed! Twisted minds think alike I guess.

I'll get there someday. I have the next two ready, I just have to remember to bring the hard drive with me when I get to a computer.... Then that'll leave what, just over halfway? wai.

[Jwolf0]

Okay, two more. Maybe it was being stuck in airports on my way to Kuwait that did it, but these two came out kinda angsty. So I decided to fit them in with Obligation and Light; they'll happen beforehand. I'm reposting Obligation and Light just to put everything in order... and to spare anyone from having to hit the back button to read on, just in case.

Q is for Question. Naruto gets time to reconsider his answer.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Panting heavily, Naruto clutched his broken arm. He waited for Sasuke to move.

Instead, Sasuke asked a Question.

“You know my nindo! I won’t give up!” Naruto charged for one last attack. “RASENGAN!”

“Your nindo – is not enough.” Sasuke caught Naruto’s good forearm and snapped it in two. His Rasengan dispelled, Naruto slumped in despair. “This is about MORE than my nindo! This is for Sakura-chan! For me!” Blue eyes shone with unshed tears. “…For you.”

Sasuke’s eyes softened slightly. “I’m sorry… dobe,” he whispered before blasting Naruto unconscious.

Would you throw away the world to save a darkened soul?
~~~
Okay, I know this bit isn't NaruSaku but technically it's not against the rules - I checked. Besides, the overarcing theme is NaruSaku-ish, so that's my cop-out.
Incidentally, anyone here read the Dragonlance Twins series about Caramon trying to save Raistlin? That's the inspiration for this, although I mangled the question some - I couldn't remember it word for word.

Y is for Yes. The right answer sometimes isn't.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Months after Naruto fought Sasuke and lost, Sakura was waiting on their bridge. She knew this was coming.

“I knew you’d chase him Naruto, even after the council forbade it.”
“I made you the promise of a lifetime, Sakura-chan.”
Jade eyes flashed fire at him. “I don’t care about that anymore, idiot!”
Stubborn blue eyes met hers. “I promised!”

“So… you’ll go missing-nin then?” You’ll leave me alone again, Naruto?

Naruto didn’t hear Sakura’s questions, spoken or unspoken. Instead it was a whispered memory he answered. Would you throw away the world to save a darkened soul?

And Naruto answered….

And then the reposted two:
O is for Obligation

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Destroying Orochimaru cost Naruto everything. Defying the council to chase Sasuke made Naruto a missing-nin. Naruto was too late, so he destroyed Orochimaru – in Sasuke’s body. Broke my promise, Sakura-chan.

Impaled on Kusanagi, Naruto began fading. Inside, Kyuubi tried frantically to heal their shared body. Naruto suppressed its attempts. Lost Konoha and Sasuke… I failed again.

His delirious mind imagined Sakura showing up, crying over his body.

Don’t cry. I couldn’t keep my promise, it’s better this way.

It wasn’t fair to Sakura that Sasuke died and he lived. Naruto was determined to correct that.
He owed her that much.

~~~
Edited slightly.

L is for Light

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Sakura found Naruto motionless, impaled on Kusanagi. She ran hysterically to his side, pulling the sword out.

Naruto floated closer to the warm light that promised rest and comfort. He reached out.…

“Please come back to me Naruto.” Sakura slumped, putting her head on Naruto’s chest. “Don’t leave me alone.”

‘Sh-she’s really here?’ “Promise me…” ‘Sakura-chan…needs me?’

Naruto wearily turned from the light, joining his will with Kyuubi’s. Indescribable pain wracked his now-healing body.

Head on his heart, Sakura felt more than heard the words she longed for. “…promise, Sakura-chan.”

‘I’ll stay with you always. Never leave you alone again….’

[Jwolf0]

Updating for great injustice!

(And sheer stubbornness, I suppose.)

F is for Fluff. Ah, the wonders of fanfiction.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Naruto walked to the computer where Sakura sat, smiling.
"Why do you like orange?"
"Because it's the best color ever Sakura-chan! Why ask?"
"I just read this fluff fanfic where you liked orange because of a ribbon I gave you. I love that idea."
"Fluff?"
"Because it gives you warm feelings - like a fluffy blanket."
"Really, lemme see!" Naruto said, sitting down.
Naruto skimmed through some fanfics. "Legendary Rabbit Pair? What's that mean?"
He missed her sudden blush. "Nothing to worry about yet, Naruto."
Frowning, Naruto found another link. "Okay Sakura-chan I understand fluff, but what do lemons refer to?"
~~~~~~
Yes, I referenced a couple of other people's works in there. Yes, they both frequent H&E so you probably have some idea of who they are. If either one of them object I'll take it down and rewrite.
EDIT: Neither Meg-chan or Ciardha had a problem with it. If you wanna know who wrote what, go check out their work!

So...that leaves about half or so? Dunno...maybe it will take me through the end of this year. =/

[desaix]

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Naruto walked to the computer where Sakura sat, smiling.
“Why do you like orange?”
“Because it’s the best color ever Sakura-chan! Why ask?”
“I just read this fluff fanfic where you liked orange because of a ribbon I gave you. I love that idea.”
“Fluff?”
“Because it gives you warm feelings – like a fluffy blanket.”
“Really, lemme see!” Naruto said, sitting down.
Naruto skimmed through some fanfics. “Legendary Rabbit Pair? What’s that mean?”
He missed her sudden blush. “Nothing to worry about yet, Naruto.”
Frowning, Naruto found another link. “Okay Sakura-chan I understand fluff, but what do lemons refer to?”
~~~~~~
Yes, I referenced a couple of other people's works in there. Yes, they both frequent H&E so you probably have some idea of who they are. If either one of them object I'll take it down and rewrite.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Erm, which fic did that come out of? I don't recall ever reading a fic with a 'legendary rabbit pair.'

[Jwolf0]

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Erm, which fic did that come out of? I don't recall ever reading a fic with a 'legendary rabbit pair.'

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

It's Ciardha's 'Rain or Shine.' Specifically she used the term "Legendary Rabbit Two" in the fic but in her 'Z is for Zipper' drabble she changed it to "Legendary Rabbit Pair." I liked that term better.

[Jwolf0]

Holy crap, I actually updated before two weeks went by?

M is for Magic

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

“Hey Sakura-chan! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”
“Not again, Naruto….” Sakura palmed her face briefly before smiling at her husband.
Sakura watched Neji laugh while Naruto swore “that it should’ve worked – next time I’m learning how to summon rabbits!” She looked over at Sasuke grinning widely (for him anyway, a quirk of the lips is all anyone else saw). She finally gazed at her simple wedding ring.
Naruto (currently tugging at a coin somehow lodged in Hanabi’s ear) may never learn sleight-of-hand, Sakura decided, but his true magic was changing everyone around him for the better.

[SakuNaruLover]

I loved the drabbles. Good job

[ciardha]

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

It's Ciardha's 'Rain or Shine.' Specifically she used the term "Legendary Rabbit Two" in the fic but in her 'Z is for Zipper' drabble she changed it to "Legendary Rabbit Pair." I liked that term better.

I liked "Rabbit Pair" better too, it implies the relationship as well as their "proclivities"
The origins comes from the idiom "humping like bunnies" (which is the "polite" way to say the idiom describing an exceptional horny couple.

The term is also "pair" in the later wedding arc chapters. I'm going back and changing it in all the chapters I reference that as Naruto and Sakura's Jonin rank nickname.

[Gnosismaster]

Updating for great injustice!

(And sheer stubbornness, I suppose.)

F is for Fluff. Ah, the wonders of fanfiction.
Naruto walked to the computer where Sakura sat, smiling.
"Why do you like orange?"
"Because it's the best color ever Sakura-chan! Why ask?"
"I just read this fluff fanfic where you liked orange because of a ribbon I gave you. I love that idea."
"Fluff?"
"Because it gives you warm feelings - like a fluffy blanket."
"Really, lemme see!" Naruto said, sitting down.
Naruto skimmed through some fanfics. "Legendary Rabbit Pair? What's that mean?"
He missed her sudden blush. "Nothing to worry about yet, Naruto."
Frowning, Naruto found another link. "Okay Sakura-chan I understand fluff, but what do lemons refer to?"
~~~~~~
Yes, I referenced a couple of other people's works in there. Yes, they both frequent H&E so you probably have some idea of who they are. If either one of them object I'll take it down and rewrite.
EDIT: Neither Meg-chan or Ciardha had a problem with it. If you wanna know who wrote what, go check out their work!

Can you provide links please?

[Jwolf0]

Can you provide links please?

Rain or Shine by Ciardha: http://www.fanfictio...1/Rain_or_Shine
Ribbon by Miss Soupy/Meg-chan: http://www.fanfictio...165753/1/Ribbon

[Jwolf0]

Wow, thanks to those of you who read these drabbles. It's nice to know they weren't completely made of suck.

I DO hope you went back through and read the older drabbles by the other posters, there's some good'uns buried in there!

Anyway, at this rate I might actually be done before Christmas.

V is for Vibrant. Well, it IS a dad's job to teach....

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

“Hokage-sama? He's here.”
Naruto looked at his secretary. Thanks Mirei-chan! I've got it from here. Bowing, Mirei left him with the scowling boy. Standing, Naruto walked to the window, gazing at the Hokage Monument watching over Konoha serenely - as serene as possible covered in blue paint.
Naruto called his son over. "You know what you did wrong, Ken-chan?"”
Kenichi awaited the inevitable tongue-lashing. At least this way his father, the busy Rokudaime-sama paid attention to him.
"Blue isn't bright and vibrant enough! Those grumpy faces look much better orange!”
The Hokage grinned at his dumbfounded son. "Tomorrow, I'll show you."

[Elellon]

Wow, thanks to those of you who read these drabbles. It's nice to know they weren't completely made of suck.

I DO hope you went back through and read the older drabbles by the other posters, there's some good'uns buried in there!

Anyway, at this rate I might actually be done before Christmas.

V is for Vibrant. Well, it IS a dad's job to teach....

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

“Hokage-sama? He's here.”
Naruto looked at his secretary. Thanks Mirei-chan! I've got it from here. Bowing, Mirei left him with the scowling boy. Standing, Naruto walked to the window, gazing at the Hokage Monument watching over Konoha serenely - as serene as possible covered in blue paint.
Naruto called his son over. "You know what you did wrong, Ken-chan?"”
Kenichi awaited the inevitable tongue-lashing. At least this way his father, the busy Rokudaime-sama paid attention to him.
"Blue isn't bright and vibrant enough! Those grumpy faces look much better orange!”
The Hokage grinned at his dumbfounded son. "Tomorrow, I'll show you."

That was awesome!

[Jwolf0]

Thanks, Ellelon!

Okay, here we go again!

J is for Jab. And that's why she should only use one finger.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

No, not like that. Pervs.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

After Sakura described Tsunade’s training, Naruto grinned at her.
“Sakura-chan, you’re meant to be her apprentice! You’re a great medic-nin, prettier than Baa-chan,” Sakura blushed at that, “and you even have her temper! Eheheheheh… um, oops?”
Waitressing nearby Ayame bowed her head, praying for the soon-to-be-dearly-departed fox boy.
It was meant to be a light jab. Sakura sweatdropped as her ‘light jab’ sent Naruto flying out the door, painfully introducing himself to several garbage cans and a wall.
Eyes swirling like his namesake, Naruto tried getting up before deciding that staying down was an excellent idea. “Oi… Baa-chan’s strength too.”

EDITED to avoid t3h evil double-post.

S is for Smile. Sakura needs a clue.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

It took awhile but Sakura learned to hate that smile.
She first noticed something fake about Naruto’s ear-to-ear smile after his “promise of a lifetime.” She’s had plenty of chances to study it since then because it always showed itself when Naruto talked to her, especially when Sasuke-kun was mentioned.
Every time Naruto’s plastered-on grin appeared wider than before, a piece of Sakura’s heart seemed to shrivel up and die – and she didn’t know why.
Sakura despised that smile. It mockingly told her she knew nothing about Naruto (“you’re afraid to understand him, aren’t you Sakura-chan?”) and she never would.
~~~~
Set shortly after Emo-duck runs away, but you probably knew that.

Edited by Jwolf0, 09 August 2007 - 08:17 AM.

[Jwolf0]

EDITED: Removed. Again, it spurred some discussion but this is the wrong place for it. Bottom line.

[ciardha]

Here's another one.

I'm telling you right now this has some ADULT themes in it. Nothing explicit, certainly not lemony or even limey for that matter but... you'll see.

Also, NOT a happyfic.


For a lot of you, I'm sure this isn't your cup of tea. However, I would really like some feedback on this one. Thanks.

Don't think you'll like this feedback. It's completely out of character for Sakura. Sakura cares deeply for Naruto, far more than she'll ever feel for Sasuke. You could see that even at the end of part 1. In part 2 It was loud and clear by the rescue Gaara arc, and even Chiyo, Sai and Yamato could tell that and they had just met her. Tsunade knows it too. Sakura has clearly accepted and is quite comfortable with her feelings for Naruto now. The encounter with Sasuke in Grass country clearly crushed any tattered remains of her crush on Sasuke. He tried to kill them all, he was only stopped by Orochimaru. It's quite possible if Naruto wasn't so determined to bring back Sasuke, Sakura would have given up on trying to bring him back, She can see him as completely consumed by his obsession to kill his brother, that he has lost everything that made him their team mate. Look how she reacted to Shikamaru's reasoning behind his desire to avenge Asuma's death, it disturbs her, and it quite clear she makes the connection to Sasuke's obsession. From that point on you see not just a sad expression but a bit of anger flash across Sakura's face when his name is mentioned. She looks a bit hopeful (where Naruto is bouncing off the walls with delight) when Tsunade and Jiraiya tell them that Sasuke has killed Orochimaru, but as soon as they tell them that no Sasuke isn't coming back Naruto looks sad and Sakura has that faintly angry expression on her face. She cares about Sasuke's fate and doesn't want him to destroy himself, but she clearly doesn't love him. Who does she worry about all the time now, who being in danger and seeing the pain he endures and hides makes her cry- Naruto.

I don't like fanfics that bash Sakura, saying she's a "selfish #%&^* that uses Naruto." That isn't in any way shape or form Sakura. And to further slam her by saying Ino and Tenten would be his girlfriend anytime just makes this uglier. Neither Ino or Tenten have expressed any romantic interest in him, it just makes it look like you have an agenda to slam Sakura as the most selfish @#%&* in the Naruto manga. Your Smile story has that as an undercurrent too. You are totally missing the crucial point of Sakura's personality that we saw in part 1, even early on, she's the most kindhearted of the characters, and not only is she kindhearted but she is spurred to act to help soothe other's pain. You see that as early as the Wave County arc. Who expresses sympathy for Inari first? Sakura. Look what Naruto says to Sakura in part 2 when she's crying over his pain and danger at living as a Jinchuriki- "You're always being made to cry, Sakura chan" She cries in deperate sadness at being able to "only do tiny things for Naruto" when he goes 4 tails and Yamato has to stop him. She wants desperately to be able to be the one to help him, because she's so deeply in love with him.

[Gnosismaster]

^ You took the words right out of my mouth. :thumbs:

[Jwolf0]

No, that's fair Ciardha. To be honest I don't like what I did with Naruto and Sakura in this one either. I think part of the problem is that there are a couple of things in fanfiction that I believe:

- Fanfiction is by definition a deviation from canon, where roughly 95% of the time the writer is asking "what if?"
- When you ask "What if?" you're changing at the very least the actions the characters took and therefore the feelings they have (even if only slightly)
- If you write it well enough, you can make me believe almost anything.

What I did here was write with someone's basic personality trait in mind (here, Naruto's devotion to Sakura) and twist it. The circumstances (including Sakura) followed. It's possible I may have been able to spin something that would explain how they got where they are, but even if I could (or wanted to) the rules of the drabble wouldn't allow it.
Granted, the line with Ino and Tenten was kinda a throwaway, just meant to reinforce what Naruto is doing.

I appreciate you putting up those arguments in defense of Sakura, Ciardha. Those are some good points. I have a confession to make - I've never read/watched PTS manga/Shippuden/Filler Arcs. I'm a member of a couple of other fanfic boards and the lovefest for the almighty Sharingan (isn't the name of the series 'Naruto?'), all the plotholes described, and some of the plot twists disgusted me. I know SOME things that happened (for example, Sakura and Naruto moving closer together) but I haven't been able to work up enough interest to catch up. So knowing what some of those points are is helpful.

Incidentally other people on those other boards hate Sakura, although not quite to the level Akane Tendo's achieved. But that's neither here nor there.

Like I said, I knew this wasn't going to be a very popular one. I'm not exactly sure what mood I was trying to hit, but whatever it was I overshot it by a lot.

Looking over the rest of the prompts, I don't see anything that would cause me to go in this direction again. Also I'll try not to write them while bored, waiting for someone and/or something. I think everything angsty I've written was done at those times....

NINJA EDIT: If it wasn't obvious, my favorite pairing IS NaruSaku. While I like and appreciate other pairings (Again, you can convince of almost anything if you write well enough), NaruSaku is how I think the series should go. Oh, and thanks for the comments guys.

[ciardha]

No, that's fair Ciardha. To be honest I don't like what I did with Naruto and Sakura in this one either. I think part of the problem is that there are a couple of things in fanfiction that I believe:

- Fanfiction is by definition a deviation from canon, where roughly 95% of the time the writer is asking "what if?"
- When you ask "What if?" you're changing at the very least the actions the characters took and therefore the feelings they have (even if only slightly)
- If you write it well enough, you can make me believe almost anything.

The problem is when a fanfic writer turns a character into something they've never been in an ultra negative light, and the other main character is portayed as being victimized by said character, you're no longer writing the characters who's names you attach it, but an original story. I would suggest removing the Naruto characters names and turning it into your own original story. Change the names and the setting to whatever town you live in, bring in local elements and go with your story that way.

This is what I try to follow in writing fanfic, (a friend of mine, who professionally writes stories about other people's characters, also follows this): Write the characters as close as possible to canon, build depth from that, don't contradict character's canon personality, especially in a negative light. Even if you don't particularly like the character, even with villian characters, try to keep them in canon and don't make them worse than they were. Don't turn the characters into saints either. The best bet is portray them as in canon. For villians, definitely don't turn them into saints, but touching on some element from their childhood that makes the readers have a bit of sympathy for them is a good idea (note how Kishimoto will do this- even with Orochimaru, we saw how as a young child he missed his parents, ditto with Sasori, etc..), it rounds out the character.

[Jwolf0]

The problem is when a fanfic writer turns a character into something they've never been in an ultra negative light, and the other main character is portayed as being victimized by said character, you're no longer writing the characters who's names you attach it, but an original story. I would suggest removing the Naruto characters names and turning it into your own original story. Change the names and the setting to whatever town you live in, bring in local elements and go with your story that way.

This is what I try to follow in writing fanfic, (a friend of mine, who professionally writes stories about other people's characters, also follows this): Write the characters as close as possible to canon, build depth from that, don't contradict character's canon personality, especially in a negative light. Even if you don't particularly like the character, even with villian characters, try to keep them in canon and don't make them worse than they were. Don't turn the characters into saints either. The best bet is portray them as in canon. For villians, definitely don't turn them into saints, but touching on some element from their childhood that makes the readers have a bit of sympathy for them is a good idea (note how Kishimoto will do this- even with Orochimaru, we saw how as a young child he missed his parents, ditto with Sasori, etc..), it rounds out the character.

I agree with those points your friend made. However some deviation is necessary in fanfiction, and one change can bring more, which brings out more deviation. The challenge then is to find a good point between straight canon and OOC-land, because going too far with the changing means you might as well not write about Naruto at all.

I missed with this one; it took off on me. While I think that it's theoretically possible to write a story bringing them to the conditions above it's neither in my ability or interest to do so, so no I won't be continuing that version of Whirlpool.

It taught me a lesson though; if I plan to go that far into right field to stretch characters, I better have a damn good explanation for it first. A drabble thread is not the place to do it.

In the interest of playing Devil's Advocate, a tiny story first:
I was in a high school Honors English class. We were watching Centennial, a movie/mini-series about America in the 1800s involving Manifest Destiny and all that. Since it was English class, the teacher was always about allegories, imagery, and metaphors in writing. (For all of you who've ever written "Man vs. Nature" on the page of your copy of Moby kitten? Yeah, that.)
As we were watching a Bald Eagle fly across the screen I turned to my friend and said, "Don't you think we read too much into this stuff sometimes?"
He replied, "As long as they <the director/producer/author> don't say anything I think it's okay to see whatever you want."

Folks, that stuck with me. The reason I bring that up is without Kishimoto saying 'NaruSaku FTW' it's okay to believe whatever you want within reason. Otherwise why would there be so many debates still: NaruSaku vs. NaruHina vs. NaruSasu (ick. alright, no, there's no canon justification for this one outside of the squeeing of Yaoi fangirls. i'm just saying it's there) Don't get me wrong, I can't really defend this one. I don't expect anyone to defend it for me and I'm on the wrong site if I did expect it .

Two more things:
1> I am curious, how did it make you feel though? Sad, depressed, confused because 'WTF that's not Sakura,' pissed off at Sakura, pissed off at me for writing her that way, pissed off enough to make you punch the monitor (please don't)? That applies to anyone who read it, btw.
2> If a different bunny for Whirlpool ever pops into my head, I'll replace it.
NINJA EDIT: 3> (So I lied about two.) I really wish I could write this amount of words this quickly for these drabbles... I'd've been done ages ago. :/

[ciardha]

Two more things:
1> I am curious, how did it make you feel though? Sad, depressed, confused because 'WTF that's not Sakura,' pissed off at Sakura, pissed off at me for writing her that way, pissed off enough to make you punch the monitor (please don't)? That applies to anyone who read it, btw.

1) Irritated that I was seeing a completely out of character Sakura bashing drabble in a Narusaku fanclub fanfiction challenge. (You asked It's a bad cliche fanfiction type I've seen in every fandom where the female main character was an equal to the male and didn't worship at the guy's feet.

Oh and the yaoi pairing is every bit as likely as naruhina or sasusaku, meaning no chance, because just like the other two it's one sided.

Yes, I think Kishimoto is not only writing Sasuke as gay, but he feels love toward Naruto. This is why Naruto keeps getting confronted with teasing that shows his homophobia (Sai and Kakashi both have teased him that way. Kakashi isn't gay- someone that into Jiraiya's porno novels couldn't be, but Sai rather obviously is gay. Kakashi is teasing him that way because Naruto is going to have to deal with people who are gay and not feel hostility. Kakashi might even strongly suspect Sasuke is gay and is trying to get Naruto less hostile to gay men so he won't be shocked when he realizes his best friend is gay and has some feelings for him.

However, in fandom in general people support all sorts of pairings that there is no evidence for whatsoever, it doesn't mean anything. I like Iruka and Hana (Kiba's older sister) and there's nothing in Naruto to show they interact at all. I noted a personality similarity and thought they'd make a good match, same for Shizune and Aoba (although they've had some very minimal interaction), and Gaara and Matsuri (semicannon character- she's the most persistant of Gaara's fangirls in the chapter where he's brought back to life by Chiyo... And in totally silly pairings I have a desire to see Tsume (Kiba's mom) chasing Gai (literally. To see Gai hiding and fleeing from Tsume would make me laugh.)