I think we need to make this into so bad it's good to help ourselves. Otherwise, this is legitimately shut. I know it's just a novel but good god.
not just any light novel. It's part of the canon time line. Kishi seriously is high on crystal meth.
It will be retconned that Team Taka (Karin included) were all just figments of Sasuke's imagination, and that he created them because he desperately missed Naruto and his Sakura. Kishimoto will then laugh and say people are mean for not understanding how brilliant he is.
Kishimoto: It makes me feel sad when I'm called a beta male.... just because I cry all the time and wonder why my wife married me instead of the man she first feel in love with doesn't make me a beta male. Did I tell you I wasn't my wife's first lover? I mean I don't have a hang up about that... but I really think women are whores if they sleep with more then one person in their life. I'm just going out on a limb and saying that right now *laughs*
Interviewer: I... I just asked how you have been... wait are you saying your wife is a whore? Or that you aren't man enough for her?
Kishimoto: We are very happily married! She even lets me sleep in the same room with her some nights if I beg her enough. I once told her, rightfully I might add, that as my wife she is suppose to be living her life in dedication to MY happiness. After she slapped me a few time, and my nose stopped bleeding, I called my editor up and he told me what to do. Things have been ok since then, even though she still doesn't understand how lucky she is that I choose her, even after she broke up with the first guy she loved. I mean most guys wouldn't be as awesome as I am, and over look something like that. I didn't even call her a whore after I found out about it.
Interviewer: I.... I mean....
Kishimoto: I know I wasn't her first but do I bring that up? Nope. I mean I never even kissed a girl till I meet her, but I still overlooked the fact that she was with that baseball jock for years. I'm that caring of an individual. Beta male. It hurts me so much when my fans call me that.
Interviewer: I... that is... are you sure it's your fans who call you that?
Kishimoto: Hinata is there to represent the woman the Naruto deserves as much as the other way around. It's not like Naruto feels like he had to settle. And even if he did so what? Hinata is amazing! I wish I had a Hinata in my life who waited for me like that, and rejected all other people besides me. Hinata isn't some horrible woman, she didn't change her mind and marry a cartoonist, no she stayed with HER MAN. And she does right by him, she sits in the corner knits him some scarfs, and shuts the hell up unless Naruto ask for a beer.
Interviewer: So... your wife is Hinata?
Kishimoto: Yeah Naruto stayed at his job a lot. Sure who doesn't? I used to miss family events all the time. It's not because I was scared of my wife! She isn't the boss of the house I am! That's what I tried showing with the Naruto ending. That he loves her even though he isn't ever around. I showed that with Sasuke too. He isn't there often because he is a man doing important man things. He's pure. An athlete! He'd of played baseball if they had it. *laughs*
Interviewer: So your wife is like Sasuke?
Kishimoto: Sakura staying with Sasuke is natural. You know my wife left her first boyfriend because she was abused by him? Did I ever tell you that?
Interviewer: My... my God. Kishimoto that is horrible, I'm so sorry that happened to her.
Kishimoto: So am I! She left him because of that. What a b*tch. I can say that because I love her, we have an understanding. But really leaving a man cause they hit you? That isn't normal. Women shouldn't get all high and mighty about this kind of thing. Sometimes they need to realize who they belong to. *laughs*
Interviewer:... Are you mad that your wife left her old boyfriend and ended up marrying you?
Kishimoto: She's a whore! I can't believe she called me a beta male. I wasn't the one kissing people and holding hands, and things before we started dating. I did it right! Why does that make me a bad person? You know what it is, it's because women don't like nice guys. I mean I did my job. I handed her my pay check, showed up a few nights of the week, and only asked for sex every other month. I'm the victim here! I'm not a beta male! Naruto did the right thing settling for the girl who loved only him and lived for him. That's the way it's suppose to be. People don't understand that if Naruto had forgiven Sakura for loving Sasuke he'd end up sad and alone in his own house! I know that for a fact! I know how that goes!
Interviewer: ... Kishimoto I have the name of a therapist who can help you with these feelings of inadequacy that you seem to be suffering from.
Kishimoto: I do not have erectile dysfunction! *laughs* That's a lie! Hinata is the perfect woman. I'm sending a message here for everyone to see! Women need to wake up and get back into knitting. That's where they belong. My wife knitted me a scarf once, back when she pretended I mattered. I can't help it people keep being confused by my brilliant red herrings.
Interviewer: I'm just going to.... *stands up to leave*
Kishimoto: I'm not a beta male! Remember to tell them that! *laughs* Oh and read my next manga series! Soft Taco Boy: The Adventure continues! *laughs*
Heh. Watch, wait and see him come out on April 3 and say half the kitten that you just said
There's no fandom in this world as amazing as the NS fandom
:feels:
It's like hunting down a S-class missing nin
The Gold Saints
