Just tired rantings over today's happenings.
I met my best friend in 2nd grade. I'm fifteen now, we still talk from time to time. We grew up together, had a lot of laughs. She slept over my house constantly, and everything was great. It was around Christmas, 5th grade when her dad left her mom after catching him cheating. Since that happened, my friend developed a bit of a .... wild side. It wasn't going anywhere too fast, at age 11/12 she was posting revealing pictures of herself online for guys. But it didn't matter at that point, because we still had tremendous laughs and everything was still great. She slept over still. I'm not sure if she'd still be the same person if her dad hadn't left, sometimes I blame him for loosing my best friend. But I suppose it's all your own choices, right? Around 13 she started coming over less, but when she did, it was still like we were kids again and had fun together. We had arguments a bit more, but we got over them. I still considered her my best friend. We talked every day, the longest we went without talking was a day at the most. I didn't like that she was hanging out with this girl named Halie - who at the time, had a bit of a wild side. Nothing big though, but at 13/12, that's a pretty big thing to be running around the way they did. The thing was, though - when my friend came here, she was herself, she wasn't someone pretending to hang out with a certain crowd like she displayed with said previous girl. To me, that was good enough. She knew who her real friends were and where they stood. We're fifteen now, she'll be sixteen in May - be able to drive. That scares me because she's on drugs now, always high and always drunk.
We barely talk now. She got involved with people who's families are constantly high - their mom does drugs with them and drinks with them. The last time I seen my "best friend" in person, was July 24th, 2011. My 15th birthday. August, 2011 - she destroyed me. We were planning a sleep over, since we were kids, our set time for her to come over was always 7 PM. She messaged me and said she was stuck with her mom with a flat tire. Sure, okay - she said she'd be there in a bit. No biggie. So I waited. She ignored every message i sent to check up on when she'll be coming over (It was getting later.) Nine PM came. Her excuses changed on why she couldn't make it. 11 PM came, still egged me on when she was coming. By now, I had done a bit of stalking and found out she WASN'T stuck with a flat tire, she wasn't even with her mom. She was with this girl named Ali, who's a total drunk and pot addict. Her whole family is drug addicts. God knows what else. My friends mom lost total control of her, they fight constantly, this happened a few years ago after her father left. So she egged me on, still - had me convinced she was still coming till almost 12 AM at night. Lol. It was all bullsh**, by then I had already knew the truth. Before the incident in August, I was dying to see her, dying to make plans with her cause we never went more than 2 weeks without a sleepover. Every other week we used to see each other, we were just that close until a few years ago. - she was starting to always make excuses on why she couldn't come over: "Oh, i'm gonna hang out with ___" Four weeks prior. She didn't follow through with any of this, it was just another excuse so she could get high, and drunk. She used to sleep over every other week. Like I said, i haven't seen her since 2011. Recently, this year - we went over 3 weeks without talking. She hangs out in the ghetto a lot, had to sleep in someones basement one time to score a bag of weed with a group of people she didn't know of the dudes basement. She could of got raped, or something. Today, I finally heard from her and she acted like nothing was wrong. It killed me, haha. I keep telling myself i'm done with her, but I miss the memories, the memories we had when we were kids, but my mom tells me that she's not the same person - believe me, I know this. I'm a good person, not to be conceited or anything, but I'm nothing like her, we have nothing in common anymore except for whats happened when we were kids, I still hold on dearly to all of it, and even if she stabs me in the back how many times, the sad thing is, I'm always going to be there for her if she comes crawling back to me realizing she's f**cked up.
Maybe to be high and drunk constantly is normal. I don't know. But all I know is that I'm against everything involving drugs, now. Alcohol, I get it, I can handle that. I get it if people do that, it's normal sure. But when people are just total high on pot and other things, I just, i'm just sick of it all. Drugs drugs drugs, pot pot pot , that's all I hear and I'm tired of it.
Pheww. had to let that out.
Everyone is a child at heart and that's all that matters right? 
