1216 replies to this topic

[occasionalutopia]

It would be really fitting if their sunsigns were switched around XD I wonder how much thought Kishi really put into their birthdates ... perhaps he just had a general idea like Naruto = Libra because main quality of Libras is they crave social acknowledgment etc. And if you notice Chouji and Kankurou are Taureans - Kishi seemed to take the heavyset "bull-like" build thing to heart XD I had a temporary obsession with astrology when I was 12-13-ish, that's why I'm spewing all this random crap

I wonder how a sunsign compatibility match would turn out for S***S*** and N***H***?

[Shinyu]

I'm not ognna even try it incase it comes out the way we odnt want :/

[HinataFanBoy]

lol well i was hesitant on joinin that HInatas beautiful features FC, since i thought it was kinda stupid, its just the Hinata FC with a different name...and ppl are more perverted there, i just joined cuz it had to do with Hinata, now dun make a Sakua's beautiful features FC cuz that wud just be wierd

[Faucon]

now dun make a Sakua's beautiful features FC cuz that wud just be wierd

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How is that weird? there is one about Hinata and it IS weird already

[HinataFanBoy]

yeah so? they'd both b wierd

[Blayze]

What next? The Lee's Shiny Teeth FC?

[alphabet]

But what I really wanted to rant about:
Has anyone read Princess-Tsunade of FanFiction.net fame? Does she frequent these forums in another guise? Bbecause I'd rather get away clean with what I'm about to say than get into a protracted argument with someone who won't take kindly to what I'm saying. I think I'll wait for verification before I spout off anything I might regret.

Needless to say, as with everything else I have to add, it's not kind.

Say it anyways. Let it out, because I'd like to hear it.

[Geno Calamari]

Oh great. I did it again. I typed out a really long essay, four or five pages, and then I managed to screw it up. So I'll write it again.

Say it anyways.  Let it out, because I'd like to hear it. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just remember, you asked for this.

Click For Spoiler

She's like the Danielle Steele of the Naruto Fanfiction world.

Do you honestly like the way she writes? I find the style jarring and disjointed. The vast majority of her paragraphs consist of one or two declarative sentences. Then, the next paragraph is a clarification of the idea encapsulated in the previous sentence-paragraph. This might not seem like a horrible thing at first, but consider that it leads to stringing out a scene over whole pages, when it could take a few lines. Being concise is a wonderful thing. Also, I've noticed that each subsequent paragraph will expand the idea she had before, either taking it to the next level of detail or twisting it around completely backward. She contradicts herself occasionally, which is far more than 'none' where it should be for an author. It's unsettling and irritating to me.

It's odd that she gives no effort to expounding upon the ideas or consequences of actions but will spend almost pages detailing the facial expressions and environmental conditions. I don't need that much detail to picture things in my mind, thank you very much. It's a waste of space that could be better spent on other things, like plot.

Also, she over-describes the scenes. In an attempt to keep things interesting when the characters are doing little more than looking at one another, adjective use peaks to an all-time high. This would not be such an awful thing, if the author were the least bit verbous. Her word choices are poor. She has a limited vocabulary and it shows. This leads to awkward and repetitive word choices. If she didn't feel it necessary to describe the way Naruto's eyes sparkle like the sky or whatever her current favorite simile for his blue eyes is, she wouldn't have this problem, now would she? And she can't just say blue eyes, or blue-eyed as adjectives, no. She has to give entire sentences and paragraphs over to describing these adjectives to the fullest extent of the english language. Overuse of fancy words smacks of pretense, especially when they are used poorly. It is also fine just to say 'eyes.'

Break time. Poor Style is one of the things that enrages me. People get irritated that I'm wordy or I'm hard to read, or even better, that 'my tenses aren't constant and I need to work on them.' I find it funny that her style is praised, yet it is so full of... hot air, empty calories, what have you. It's because it's the perfect style of writing for those who have short attention spans.

I do not understand why Tsunade and Jiraiya have been marginalized. In making Team Seven go train on a mountain, their proper teachers have been reduced in purpose to somewhere around the towel-holders and paper-weights level. Kakashi does little more than stand around and look pretty. He occasionally says something mildly inspirational, but most of the time he just looks amazed as Danah does or says something amazing.

I dislike her Original Characters, Danah and Raidon.

Danah is a Mary-Sue. This is a danger statement because it sets Princess-Tsunade off, but that does not detract from the correctness of it. She is simply more powerful, knows more techniques, and has most uncopyable, unstoppable, irresistabe abilities than anyone without a bloodline limit has any right to.

I hate Danah. I can't stand her. I was amazed how quickly she waltzes in and charms everyone. If I were Gai in that fanfic, I'd be wondering if she pulled a genjutsu on me when I wasn't paying attention. Within five seconds of her entrance, she decides to take in Naruto and Sasuke, which makes little-to-no-sense to me, as they have never been able to tolerate one another, let alone live together.

She studied under Tsunade. Huh. I don't think her name is Shizune, so I don't really see that happening. She studied under this Raidon character (more on him later). She can block the lower-level Sharingan. That's just crap. The whole point of the Sharingan is that it sees through illusions and genjutsu and that's why Sharingan users were feared. You can't block it, because it's an anti-deception bloodline-limit. She can do these amazing multi-element jutsu that form a static object from the elements, and yet Kakashi can't copy it. Again, stupid. There's a reason why you can't use multiple elements in one jutsu. It's hard and the elements probably resist one another in the same way magnets do. She has some sort of weird shamanistic summoning tied to her, which just happens to be a pheonix. They're pretty and heal people, remember, so she fixes Rock Lee up better than Tsunade could have ever done.

Let me take this moment to express my disbelief. Okay. Good. Shall we continue?

Raidon. Oh man. I can't stand him. He's loud for no apparent reason, he's surly, he's not a role-model or an example of an incredibly powerful ninja by any means. Not only that, but he sprang from the head of Princess-Tsunade, if you'll forgive my mythology. He literally comes out of f***ing nowhere (and I hope you excuse my language, but the point begs the emphasis) and is on the same level as the Sannin and he comes in with some sort of legend and mystique and he's a hero of sorts. He's simply too damn amazing to have existed in a void.? Yet everyone has heard of Raidon the Dragon King or whatever his name is and that he lives on a mountain and will train anyone who comes to his little village, regardless of allegience. Putting aside the inherent difficulties of keeping these people from killing one another, it brings up the parallel concept of the preoccupation amongst fanfiction authors to have characters leave the village on their own and get significantly stronger in a short amount of time.


Let's set aside the difficulties of keeping this school running, because they'll try to kill each other, for a moment and focus on the idea behind it: People can leave their villages and become inordinately stronger than those in their year and village group. I do not understand why authors make characters leave the village for a few years and come back incredibly strong.

Toheko Gecko (spelling might be wrong, but you'll know of him) is the worst offender of this by far.

Riddle me this, faithful reader: If you can get so strong leaving a village, then why are there villages in the first place? What's the point of organization if the only thing that makes you strong is your experiences and struggle against adversity? This might make sense at first, but then if the emphasis of training is on overcoming personal difficulty, everyone can leave the village when they want to be stronger. Thus, no one stays in the village, and the entire ninja world descends into chaos and anarchy.

Reality Check: Failed.
Plausibility Check: Aborted.
Rebooting...

Okay: This is the thing that really, really gets me angry. I've had dinner since I screwed up posting this the first time, so I'm relaxed right now. This should snap me out of it.

Please. Please. Someone tell me they can see the blatantly obvious character archetype Princess-Tsunade is forcing ITACHI into? Tell me you see that she's making the man himself into a 'creepy ex-boyfriend stalker guy.' She's gone missing recently, huh? Sounds like Itachi abducted our fair, over-dramatic lass. Remember how Itachi loves to abduct people? Especially women? Because it's so in his character that I can just see him doing it. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Caustic statement. Pithy invective. Etcetera, Etcetera....

I think it's summed up pretty well by this statement:

'I loved you because we were best friends back in school and I never got over my creepy obsessive infatuation with you so let's get together even though I'm a sociopath.' So he's captured her, and that sets us up perfectly for a little scene I've envisioned:

Interior Scene: Cave. Because Itachi's crazy and psycho so he can't have a conversation in a normal place like an inn or a tavern or a place with a floor.
Itachi: Danah, I love you.
Danah: ::tied up:: No! I don't love you anymore Itachi! I love Kakashi now! So leave me alone!
(This line is added because Danah borders on self-insertion. Any Mary-Sue that falls in love with Kakashi or Itachi or Sasuke is. Princess-Tsunade wants her character to be a powerful woman and express that by spurning handsome and powerful Uchiha Itachi. I love the word 'spurn' and it fits here, because PT is attempting to write one of those bodice-ripping romance novels.)
Itachi: But... Danah... my precioussss... we're meant to be together, My Ssssharingan eyessss ssssee thisssss... ::grotesque coveting action::
Danah: Eek! Help me!
::Kakashi, out of nowhere::
Kakashi: I've come to save you, my lady love!
Danah: Kakashi, save me, my love!
Itachi: Spouts some crazy drivel in line with 'If I can't have her, no one can!'
::Fight::
Kakashi: Augh! I'm losing because Itachi's better than I am. Also, if I won because of the power of heart or something then everyone would know this story is complete bullsh** and it would become a train-wreck. And if I'm losing... then we're set up so nicely for...
::Danah breaks free::
Danah: Kakashi, no! Itachi, I'll kill you!
::Fight. Itachi will lose::
Itachi: Why... Danah? I love... you... ::dies::
(At this point, Kakashi will probably need some serious healing to continue that pesky breathing thing, which Danah will provide with little strain despite having just fought and killed the strongest character in the manga. But luckly, she has that pheonix thing, so everyone will be fine!)
::Iris out::

That's a funny scene no matter how I imagine it. Except for the Itachi dying part.
huh... everytime I envision it, Itachi always ends up slaughtering both of them... wow, he's one cold dude. ::Geno chuckles:: Oh Itachi, when will you ever learn, you silly Uchiha...

Er, what was I talking about? Oh right. Princess-Tsunade.
Next up: Don't you think it's a little suspicious that everything that Danah does it wonderous and special? Aren't you getting the least bit tired of being spoonfed joy and awe? Wonder is sickening, especially in massive doses like a new chapter of Flower of Konoha. Everything, right down to the last unimportant character or unsubtle plot nuance is so freaking impressive and jaw-droppingly cool, that I cannot stand it. God forbid if anything is anything less than perfect and the snowfall is anything but virgin or the vistas aren't scenic enough or the house picturesque enough.

If I hear Raidon or Kakashi give one more moralistic speech to Sasuke/Naruto, I'll put my fist through my monitor. Naruto, might I remind everyone, is the most moralistic person in the entire damn show and he's the only one who continues to get away with it. Remember Nawaki and Dan? Both rode in on the high horse and left on their backs. Naruto doesn't need a lesson on morals or behaivor, he needs someone to teach him something useful. (which is not swinging a sword)

Sasuke doesn't need an attitude adjustment from anyone but Naruto. I find it hilarious that authors love having an authority figure give Sasuke the moral backhand, but the only one that should be allowed to do it is Naruto. Sasuke is trying to emulate his brother, though he doesn't understand that yet, and in doing that he will have the ultimate personality for a shinobi. Killing will not bother him, sacrificing friends and loved ones will not bother him. He'll be numb to it all, just like Itachi, and that's what the perfect shinobi should be like on the inside. They are weapons, possessing of a heart which shows no tears. Naruto's allowed to smack him around because he is the only character capable of challenging and changing this perception without getting killed first.

They don't need to be changed. They are what they are and they are, to a degree, perfect for being ninja. Some old geezer on a mountain that materialized around chapter 17 has no right to tell them otherwise, no matter how much experience he has.

Speaking Raidon changing them, why are they learning swordfighting? It seems sort of counterintuitive for a pair of kids that can't even sneak around properly to be learning how to run right up to their opponents and fight them man-to-man, right? They are ninja, so shouldn't they be learning the ways of stealth and observation, especially when Naruto so desperately needs instruction in these areas? And why did they leave the village to learn swordfighting? The answer is simple: Because PT wanted to show off her OC and why he's so cool, so she dreamed up this impressive mountain-top school with lots of people from all across the world learning side-by-side, despite the implausibility of that. It detracts from their proper teachers, Tsunade and Jiraiya and even Kakashi.

I don't see Sakura ever leaving Konoha to train to be stronger. Because in the manga, she always represents 'home' to her teammates and that's an important thing for her. She's home base, a stable platform for her friends and colleagues.

I can see Sasuke leaving, because Danah showed off a powerful and flashy technique, and you know how he loves those. This 'Form a Sword from all the Elements' technique is foolish. Can anyone say Captain Planet? (I'm getting my steam back, I think.) Why is it that techniques never use more than one element? Probably because they resist each other like magnets at best and at worst, mutually exclusive. Consider how much more useful a static, non-chakra-sucking sword made from steel would be. Can you see that it draws far less attention, makes less noise and gives off less illumination? This sounds far more useful than Sword no Jutsu.

Why do they have to leave to study swordfighting? (Despite the fact that all they've done is swing at one another and watch Danah and Raidon show off, I'll call it studying for now.) Certainly there's someone in Konoha that's a swordmaster. That masters of weapons and martial arts live in far off and exotic places is a total kung-fu movie premise. People don't do that in an age where televisions and video cameras are used in ninja exams.

Sudden Thought: Genjutsu must fool cameras. Huh. I so take credit for that one.

Back on track: I remember a character called Gekkou Hayate, who carried a sword around on his back and used the 'Dance of the Crescent Moon.' So he could use a sword quite well, and being 'Young to master such a technique' he must have been taught by someone. I'd have believed some Gekkou guy showing up and teaching them the sword far more than Raidon. Also, ANBU wear ninjato, so someone in Konoha must be able to teach them. Tenten's parents, I'd wager. (Mother probably. She's had a strong female role model. Or maybe she lacks one, and is trying to make up for it by acting so tough. I don't know.)

About the style again: Some might say that I like Red Crow, the author formerly known as Crow-sensei, yet they write in a very similar format. You would be correct to note that, although the style is entirely different. Red Crow is very minimalist, and avoids using too many words and describing anything too much or for too long. Whether by design or accident, it works grandly and I love it. Red Crow is the perfect antithesis to my wordy, nothing-left-unsaid style. Princess-Tsunade beats a dead horse in her descriptions and overuses adjectives. I have already said this, so I'll move on again.

Oh, lookie, Sakura's got a magical flute, just like everything else in this story is magical and wonderous and she can only play the melody when she finds it inside herself. Oh really? How imaginative. Sounds like Sakura's being ignored once again. She doesn't make an appearance in several of the later chapters, despite being dragged along on this crazy escapade on the promise of strength.
And... waitaminute... thought coming through...
Didn't Tayuya have a flute as well? And she controlled genjutsu with it?
Get some new material, Princess-Tsunade. Preferably something original.

I think I'm actually done. Wow. It's shorter this time. Probably because I'm less acerbic. And last time I compared Flower of Konoha to a bodice-ripping action adventure romance. Remember those awful Harlequin romance paperbacks, like Two in Texas or something? I made up a whole paragraph description of FoK in the style of those 'books,' and I use the word loosely, but I don't feel like retyping it. I'll give the gist.
Danah = happy protagonist girl who comes into town.
Kakashi = Mysterious, tall, dark, and handsome thing that she falls for
Itachi = Creepy ex-boyfriend that was run out of town who comes back to claim her.
IN A BATTLE WHERE THERE ARE NO WINNERS
WHO WILL WIN?
Okay, not like that, but you get the idea.

I would like to take this opportunity to add a disclaimer. This is a covering my ass and contradicting myself statement, so here goes:
The views expressed above are my own and can be disregarded at your leisure. In no way did I force you to read my opinion and you are not obligated to believe me or use it as a basis for your own decision. In fact, I recommend you go and read Flower of Konoha, if you haven't already. Then come back and see if you agree with me or not. If you would like to express a view different from my own, I encourage you to go ahead and engage me in socratic dialogue. Perhaps without the question answering a question, because we all agree that gets annoying, but with the politeness thing intact.

And the liberal dose of the truth I add in at the end:
I want you to read it because I don't feel that I should be the only person to suffer as I have. I can't stop reading it, because it's like two trains speeding at one another on the same track. You know a collision is going to happen, but you can't look away and there's nothing you can do about it.
I am addressing the politeness part to Princess-Tsunade more than anyone else. I've called your precious character a Mary-Sue, so I figure that's got to get you steamed up. This is criticism, and I have read your author notes and I have seen how well you deal with criticism, especially of Danah. I will admit I was hardly kind, but I was a whole lot worse the first time around. Sad that I think it was more poignant then, but what can you do?

[XTCDraGonZ]

lol. author of "flower of konoha"? i couldn't continue reading it after 7 chapters or so. I'm surprised you've read it so far along. I couldn't find reasons as explicit as yours but it was just too mary-sueish to me. Y'know... her being the backbone of the relationships of the main characters or something.

You sure are thorough in your critiquing...

[Geno Calamari]

You sure are thorough in your critiquing...?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Reread. I posted the last half of it. Again.

Bad fanfiction is like a stab to the heart to me. I do this for amusement. It makes it far less fun for me if I see other people butchering it.

And Blayze, you know you want to join the Lee's Shiny Teeth FC. Saying otherwise just means you're a liar. I would so join in a heartbeat.

[Shinyu]

Heh, i'd love the Lee's Shinyu teeth FC, lets make a fanclub section

[Smiter]

Geno. Beautiful rant.

While I do not try to compare my writing to others (because there are different styles, and also because I'm very critical of my own and am not so confident in my abilities), I do at least do my very best to avoid inserting self-inserts and OCs whenever possible. Any OCs I put in are minor or, if they will feature significantly, are made as "real" as possible - never on the level of the main characters but created to usher events along or bring out a part of a character (NOT as in love).

I see a LOT of fics where I can tell the author is a self-insert Mary Sue from just reading the summary. It's dead easy. Words such as "KakashiOC", "SasuOCIta" and "Mysterious woman" ring massive alarm bells. With big flashing lights.

Even worse are the Mary-Sue fics where other pairings are declared. At least 95% of the fic is devoted to the MarySue/(insert character) while the other pairings only have the token sentence or - if you're very lucky - paragraph. They also get little to no development over the story. So if you read the story for the other pairings mentioned, tough luck.

There are also the "Sakura-inserts" where the fangirls thinly attempt to pass themselves off as Haruno Sakura, and put her in SasuSakuNeji, SasuSakuKaka or even SasuSakuIta triangles. Leaving Naruto out in the cold simply because he's "too loud" and "couldn't possibly understand" because he has the temerity to refuse to angst and mope.

It really, really annoys me to see authors drastically change characters to fulfil their pairing fantasies. Of course, not all Sakura-triangle stories are self-inserts, but a lot are.

Thank god for all the authors here in the NaruSaku FC. You have no idea how much I love you guys.

[Shinyu]

i have noticed that trend A LOT!  Why do people keep making Hinata stutter like she's got a serious problem.  I've seen this one fic where every sentence (YES EVERY SENTENCE), she was stuttering, and being super super shy (if there was such a term).  I mean come on...she's shy, but not THAT shy.  Damn those Sakura haters, why do they be little her...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Because they're evil. veeeeeeeeeeery evil

[alphabet]

*applauds* Wonderful rant, Geno. Feel free to post any other rants you have about anything else; they're a pleasure to read. Hell, you could rant about the phonebook and I'd find it fascinating.

I commend you for reading 'Flower of Konoha'. I could only get through about nine chapters of that fic. After the third or so chapter, I wanted to use my mad karate skills (sarcasm. No karate skills exist) to punch holes in the wall. I have no idea how I managed to make it through nine, since three was too much. I only started reading it because it had so many reviews, so I figured that it must be good. How wrong was I? I had the same problem with 'Puppet In Pink'. They're both ridiculous stories with no canon to back them up.

I wish I could rant as good as you can.

[Blayze]

Ah yes. Mary Sues. Because everyone knows heartless killers fall in love with females who appear from nowhere in a shower of glitter.

And I know what you mean, Smiter I'm still tossing ideas around inside my head for those characters you made for me for Rikyu

And Shinyu... you said 'Lee's Shinyu Teeth'

[Muttz]

nice rant @___@, yeah i really dont like self-insertions....sorry to interupt this escapade but i saw some reviews that were saying Naru/h*** and NARUTO/SAKURA are overused @____@ naruto/sakura overused?! only just recently have we been able to sink our teeth into anything eveny slightly naruto/sakura. before there was like....1 new naruto sakura fic every 2 months. twits..... anyways just wanna here what you guys have to say...since you`re all like... ranting masters.

[Smiter]

nice rant @___@, yeah i really dont like self-insertions....sorry to interupt this escapade but i saw some reviews that were saying Naru/h*** and NARUTO/SAKURA are overused @____@ naruto/sakura overused?!  only just recently have we been able to sink our teeth into anything eveny slightly naruto/sakura. before there was like....1 new naruto sakura fic every 2 months. twits..... anyways just wanna here what you guys have to say...since you`re all like... ranting masters. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I remember that review, QR! I said exactly the same thing as you, hehe.

There are a lot of NaruHinas and even more S***S*** fics compared to NaruSaku. Heck, if one pairing is overused, it's NaruSasu.

New rant... JANUARY 31st!? *cries*

[XTCDraGonZ]

i dislike good incomplete and discontinued fics. Really irks me.

[Brass-san]

NaruSasu overused? That is an understatment it is by far the most used paring out there, damn yaoi fangirls.

Over the summer I've read many different Naruto stories, one alomst all the so called Canon parings have the same thing in them.

N***H***-Hinata tells Naruto she loves him in his lonlyness Naruto falls in love with her yada yada yada. Or Naruto is going out with Sakura, something hapends, people push Hinata towards Naruto, Then we all know what's going to happen.Most Naruto/Hinata stories are like this underthough no real plot and have Sakura and somethimes Sasuke bashing. There are few N***H*** that are good and well though, eg belive (or something like that)

Sasu/Saku- I don't read stories where Sasu/Saku is the main paring so I don't know how they turn out, from the stoires when it is a minor paring this is what I can see. Sasu/Saku is used in Naru/Hina story so that the story isn't to flat. Or It's used to get Naruto and Hinata together.

NaruSasu- Naruto or Sasuke is in love with the other about three chapters later the tell the other yada yada. OR they are both going out then Garaa or Neji steps in trying to get Naruto.

I'm really getting sick of seeing these parings all over FF.net and aff.net I'm sure some people agree with me.

[AfterDeath]

*steps back away from the chaos* Maybe Ill just read wut you guys have to say I have nothing to say, because I dont read fanfics. Ive read maybe 2? yes that was not a type. thats 2.