761 replies to this topic

[Lid]

Hey man, how's it goin, glad to see positive thoughts! I liked seeing the 10 things you were glad about, good to see.

 

Song to keep the positive juices flowin, -

 

I love 80s music haha

[James S Cassidy]

One last song before I go....just because my friend put it in my head.

 

PS. I am not a little girl

 

[James S Cassidy]

[James S Cassidy]

Plant Plant Plant Trap

[James S Cassidy]

And it's all because of you...

 

[James S Cassidy]

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground.

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, what's lost can be found.

 

[James S Cassidy]

This reminds me of her...

 

Edited by James S Cassidy, 04 October 2013 - 12:57 AM.

[James S Cassidy]

[James S Cassidy]

Another song I enjoy alot.

 

[James S Cassidy]

Who wants a piece of the champ?

 

Edited by James S Cassidy, 06 October 2013 - 04:24 PM.

[James S Cassidy]

Don't fall away and leave me to myself.

 

[James S Cassidy]

I wish I could say what I really felt at the moment, but the world I live in, I can't. Apparently I am always wrong no matter what logic I use. Why am I wrong? Because they want me to be wrong. Because they refuse to accept the truth, but I have to accept theirs.

 

It's always funny when people don't play by the rules, but become total babies when I don't play by them telling me "You can't do that."

[James S Cassidy]

I keep bleeding

 

[James S Cassidy]

 

You see a story like this and you wonder why people....no, humans beings care more about Kim Kardashian's divorce/baby than they do about the real people who make a true difference in people's lives.

 

This man is a true hero. Yeah, all he did was buy cookies for a little kid, but sometimes even the most small and insignificant things can make a huge impact.

[James S Cassidy]

Thinking upon life in general and what the meaning to it is I have com across something in my meditation. I question my own existence. I question why I am alive and why I go through pain quite a lot. Some say it is a matter of thought or what I want, but how can that be when I don't want either one of them? I get told it is expectation. That even if I don't want it, I expect it and so it comes true. I guess so, but what I don't understand is is could it quite possibly be that since others also expect the worse that that is the very reason why things can  be bad? What if someone else thinks terrible thoughts that some how affect you? Could it be possible that the reason why some bad things happen is not because I did something wrong, but the fact that some people do wrong to me? That maybe they are to blame for my misfortune. I can't say which of these applies, but I am merely asking is there a possibility that maybe it is not always my fault and rather the fault of the person standing next to me. (That is not to say I don't make mistakes myself)

Truth is, we are afraid of the unknown. Actually, I think I have gotten passed that aspect. I am no longer afraid, but rather curious of the unknown. What I don't know I want to learn more about. However, for most of us we are afraid of it. Afraid that the answer you get is not the answer you want. The idea that what you want is not what is. This can be from a insignificant thing to something much greater. Some even on the forum are afraid to be wrong and thus put on this defensive attitude like "It is my opinion that is right and you are wrong." Some of you will deny this claim, but I know you can;t even see you are doing it. Should I list off names? Perhaps not. Hate for them to lash out at me because they are afraid to face a truth about something or afraid to admit that maybe they have a problem.

 

Of course, there is not wrong with admitting that you are flawed. We are all flawed in some way. We all have problems we need to fix about ourselves. I include myself. I know what flaws I need to improve on, but at the moment I don't know how to improve them. I just know I have them. So I keep going forward and maybe some day I can find the the answers I seek. I do have to ask though, why are some of you afraid to be wrong? Why are so afraid to the point of making excuses when the times comes that you are proven wrong? I used to think it was "polite" to not say anything to people, but I realize that not telling them leads to them never improving. True, I shouldn't be mean about it either, but it seems that even when I am trying to be nice about it, they become so defensive and assume the worse. Again, assuming the worse in the world instead of accepting a truth. Some might deny now while reading this, but reflect upon this. If you are angry when you deny this, then it means in reality you know you are wrong, but you don't want to admit it. Is this arrogance I am speaking with? No, but rather understanding. Trying to educate and show the reality that they live in. Like I have said to some, I hold up mirrors to people. Most of them people refuse to see into those mirrors for one reason or another.
 

Someone once told me that it is best to be self-reliant. Sadly, they forgot to mention or at least never realized that we are not even born self-reliant. A babies we are born relying on others and are very selfish. We want attention, we want food, we want many things, but we are also very curious. It is only when we grow older do we become less selfish and more aware of the world around us. In truth, a good 99% of us are not self-reliant...or at least not the true sense of the world. Do you have parents? Do you have friends? Are you in a relationship? Then you are not self-reliant. They make you happy don't they? What I ask is, why do you need to be self-reliant when there is so much good to just ignore? To claim you are self-reliant means that you don't trust the world you are on. Ever play a game called "Final Fantasy 8?" The main character Squall saw himself as self-reliant and believed that only he could trust himself. That being in relationships, whether friends or more, was just a burden and only lead to more heartache. Is that how you truly feel? By the end of the game, Squall learns that it is okay to ask for help when things get too tough. It is okay to rely on others that you know will always be there for you, but the moment that someone thinks that self-reliance is the only way then you truly miss the point of being in relationships. You are lying to yourself when you think you can be self-reliant, yet believe there is joy to be had in hanging out with friends. Like I said, we are not born to be self-reliant, so why do we have to be? Sure, there are some things that one must find strength in yourself, but when you start losing trust in the world because you believe that life is all about being self-reliant....then you miss out on love.

Would you like to know what I am afraid of? I am afraid to be alone. I am afraid to live my life thinking I am the only one and so I have made strives to not be alone. To find a place where I fit in. It's not that I can't be self-reliant like many people claim I can't be, (Which by the way, if you think negative of me, then you know nothing of me) but rather I don't want to be all by myself. I don't want to have to face the world alone because I shouldn't need to. The logic I get told a lot is very flawed in their own ideas, but at least they are thinking. The problem is many assume me to a person that I am not. Some of you assume I am one way, when I am not even close to that or even that is just a fraction of who I am. If you look closer you will see that I am so much more. Some of you actually do see me as being much more. Some even much more than even I see.

 

Sadly, my fear of being alone has caused me to be alone. Many who have lied to me and pushed me out of their lives even though they said they wouldn't. I have lost so many friends all because they couldn't understand or were too afraid to face a reality. People who told me to be true to myself, yet at the same time are afraid when I reveal a apart of me to them. Why are you so afraid? I am only what you want me to do. I am only taking the advice you give, but now you are afraid of me? Perhaps you are just afraid that it will affect you.

I know who I am as a person and I know my limits and flaws. Do you? I know in my heart I can love so many, but people are afraid of my love. So much so that I started to think my love was toxic, but I realize it is not me who has the problem. Rather some of you are just too afraid of the unknown. I am adventurer myself. I love the unknown and are willing to find out more. I am even willing to find something in others that even they can't see: Good and bad. The sad reality though is that many of you rather only remember the bad and never the good. How can only one bad moment in one day ruin a friendship that had been built up over years of work? How could you or even they let go of something so easily because of one thing they are afraid of? I may not be perfect, but at least I am not afraid to face the world. I am not afraid to tell someone off if they are being a jerk or afraid to tell them to their face what I feel in my heart.

 

Everyone is afraid of losing. Losing their love, losing their friends, losing their credibility, but you know what? If you know who I truly am, then I can never lose. You can lie to yourself about things, but you can't lie to me and expect me to accept it. You can't tell me to take a certain piece of advice and yet not even practice it yourself. That just means that even you find doubt within yourself. I am willing to help anyone who needs me to find a better answer to life. I am willing to do anything I can to show you that life is much better than you really think and open your mind to new ideas that are waiting for you to discover, but I can't help you or show you if you are unwilling to try. Bravery is not having any fear, but rather overcoming it. So be more brave and speak your mind. Don't be afraid of another person because they are no better than you. They have no higher standing than you no matter what title they hold.

 

"At the end of the game, the king and pawn go back into the same box."
Italian Proverb.

So just know that everyone is equal and we all have the same opportunities. You are no better nor worse than any other person on this planet. You are just human and are meant to discover the unknown, but the more you hide the more you lose a little bit of yourself. You can't be truly self-reliant because then you won't develop into the person that you are. You need the "mirrors" to reflect, otherwise how can you improve?

 

"It takes an entire village to raise one child"

African proverb.

 

So don't be afraid because you don't understand. That is not how you grow as a person. That's not how you live a life. And no, I do not believe that you NEED to be self-reliant, but I feel you also need to know that sometimes you need to take time for yourself to understand your world. Give some people a rest now and then and you can always comes back to them. If you trust them, then they will always be there, but if you can't even trust them when you come back then maybe you don't understand the relationship itself. This is why I hate it when boyfriends get jealous at me when I talk to their girl. It just means that they don't trust their girl to stay faithful. Sure you can say I am full of it, but am I really? Why would you question or get defensive if it was not true about being unsure about what you think? If your relationship is as strong as you claim, then no matter what I do you will always have your girl. If you have doubts or get jealous over other guys talking to her, then maybe you don't trust her as much as you think you do. It's also funny how many tell me that if you love someone, you should set them free, yet they themselves won't let go of their former loves or get really jealous and upset if the girl they love goes with someone else.

I know who I am a person. I know that I can love so many and I am can think of things that you never even realized. I have been called a savior, a hero, a villain, and at times even a scoundrel. I am all of them and yet I am none of them. Yet, the question is do you know who you are and if you do why do you lie to some people?

 

Who am I to say all this to you? I am me. I am a human being just like you. Who breathes like you, bleeds like you, loves likes you, and even lives like you. I also dream like you and feel as you do. I can do everything that you can do, yet I am also different enough to be my own person. You have to come to the reality that everyone in this world has the same potential and the freedom to do everything regardless if you like it or not. Regardless if you agree or not and that just because you think you are right doesn't always mean that you are. The world is only portrayed as you want to see it and you believe what you want, but at the same time just because you don't want to accept it does not make it untrue.

"To thy own-self be true."

-Shakespeare.

Edited by James S Cassidy, 09 October 2013 - 02:08 PM.

[Shadow Wolf]

Oooh *rubs hands and gets ready to type* XD
 

Thinking upon life in general and what the meaning to it is I have com across something in my meditation. I question my own existence. I question why I am alive and why I go through pain quite a lot. Some say it is a matter of thought or what I want, but how can that be when I don't want either one of them? I get told it is expectation. That even if I don't want it, I expect it and so it comes true. I guess so, but what I don't understand is is could it quite possibly be that since others also expect the worse that that is the very reason why things can be bad? What if someone else thinks terrible thoughts that some how affect you? Could it be possible that the reason why some bad things happen is not because I did something wrong, but the fact that some people do wrong to me? That maybe they are to blame for my misfortune. I can't say which of these applies, but I am merely asking is there a possibility that maybe it is not always my fault and rather the fault of the person standing next to me. (That is not to say I don't make mistakes myself)

 

Hehe... interesting. I encourage you to read and research the books related to this topic for the answer you seek, but I will share with you the theory that I've developed over my 1 month of studying this:

"What goes around, comes around."

Yup, as simple as that. People who wish you harm will get harm themselves because that's what they're spreading. By the same token, if you spread judgment, you will be judged. As such, when you spread out love, you will receive love and when you spread gratitude, you will receive gratitude.

Remember when I told you that when your voice becomes louder than the opinions of the outside you would master your life? That's because you can even decide what will hurt you? What do I mean by this?:

"Someone says: You suck!"

Is up to you whether to believe it or ignore it. But be sure that whoever said this will have something "sucky" come back to them.

 

You create your own world and you decide what feelings you will give to what others say to you. At the same time you respect how others want to shape their world and you let them live their lives the way they choose to, because that will not change your own happiness.

 

"When you realize your potential to feel good, you will ask no one to be different in order for you to feel good. You will free yourself from the cumbersome impossibilities of needing to control the world, your friends, your mate, your children.... You are the only one that creates your reality. No one else can think or feel for you... its you... only you."

 

Truth is, we are afraid of the unknown. Actually, I think I have gotten passed that aspect. I am no longer afraid, but rather curious of the unknown. What I don't know I want to learn more about. However, for most of us we are afraid of it. Afraid that the answer you get is not the answer you want. The idea that what you want is not what is. This can be from a insignificant thing to something much greater. Some even on the forum are afraid to be wrong and thus put on this defensive attitude like "It is my opinion that is right and you are wrong." Some of you will deny this claim, but I know you can;t even see you are doing it. Should I list off names? Perhaps not. Hate for them to lash out at me because they are afraid to face a truth about something or afraid to admit that maybe they have a problem.

 

I have come to the realization that there are many good people in this forum and there are also people who only know to say negative stuff. When i noticed the change of behavior in the forum I decided that I would not let it affect me anymore. As such, I chose to ignore all those people who bring that negative aura to the forum and befriend all those people with good and positive posts.

 

Of course, there is not wrong with admitting that you are flawed. We are all flawed in some way. We all have problems we need to fix about ourselves. I include myself. I know what flaws I need to improve on, but at the moment I don't know how to improve them. I just know I have them. So I keep going forward and maybe some day I can find the the answers I seek. I do have to ask though, why are some of you afraid to be wrong? Why are so afraid to the point of making excuses when the times comes that you are proven wrong? I used to think it was "polite" to not say anything to people, but I realize that not telling them leads to them never improving. True, I shouldn't be mean about it either, but it seems that even when I am trying to be nice about it, they become so defensive and assume the worse. Again, assuming the worse in the world instead of accepting a truth. Some might deny now while reading this, but reflect upon this. If you are angry when you deny this, then it means in reality you know you are wrong, but you don't want to admit it. Is this arrogance I am speaking with? No, but rather understanding. Trying to educate and show the reality that they live in. Like I have said to some, I hold up mirrors to people. Most of them people refuse to see into those mirrors for one reason or another.

 

This may sound a bit... arrogant to some point, but some people are more mature than others. As such, some of them can face the truth in many situations while others can't. Hence why the defense mechanisms appear whenever they find themselves in a spot where their ideals are challenged. But when you realize this, you know that there is no need to keep punching that wall of fear because as long as they themelves do not destroy that wall, they will not proceed further in life. The best you can do is keep moving forward while hoping that someday, they destroy that wall and catch up with you on your path.

 

Someone once told me that it is best to be self-reliant. Sadly, they forgot to mention or at least never realized that we are not even born self-reliant. A babies we are born relying on others and are very selfish. We want attention, we want food, we want many things, but we are also very curious. It is only when we grow older do we become less selfish and more aware of the world around us. In truth, a good 99% of us are not self-reliant...or at least not the true sense of the world. Do you have parents? Do you have friends? Are you in a relationship? Then you are not self-reliant. They make you happy don't they? What I ask is, why do you need to be self-reliant when there is so much good to just ignore? To claim you are self-reliant means that you don't trust the world you are on. Ever play a game called "Final Fantasy 8?" The main character Squall saw himself as self-reliant and believed that only he could trust himself. That being in relationships, whether friends or more, was just a burden and only lead to more heartache. Is that how you truly feel? By the end of the game, Squall learns that it is okay to ask for help when things get too tough. It is okay to rely on others that you know will always be there for you, but the moment that someone thinks that self-reliance is the only way then you truly miss the point of being in relationships. You are lying to yourself when you think you can be self-reliant, yet believe there is joy to be had in hanging out with friends. Like I said, we are not born to be self-reliant, so why do we have to be? Sure, there are some things that one must find strength in yourself, but when you start losing trust in the world because you believe that life is all about being self-reliant....then you miss out on love.

 

I think this is just a whole misunderstanding, for you two have different definitions of this term. As such, my request is that first you should understand each others meaning of this term and listen to your respective versions of the story. I listened to both of them already and my take is that you are both right and wrong about some points, so talk it out. Like you said: don't be afraid my man. You both don't need to be afraid to make your friendship stronger, because I know that after this conversation your bond of friendship will be stronger.  

 

Would you like to know what I am afraid of? I am afraid to be alone. I am afraid to live my life thinking I am the only one and so I have made strives to not be alone. To find a place where I fit in. It's not that I can't be self-reliant like many people claim I can't be, (Which by the way, if you think negative of me, then you know nothing of me) but rather I don't want to be all by myself. I don't want to have to face the world alone because I shouldn't need to. The logic I get told a lot is very flawed in their own ideas, but at least they are thinking. The problem is many assume me to a person that I am not. Some of you assume I am one way, when I am not even close to that or even that is just a fraction of who I am. If you look closer you will see that I am so much more. Some of you actually do see me as being much more. Some even much more than even I see.

 

*nods*

 

Sadly, my fear of being alone has caused me to be alone. Many who have lied to me and pushed me out of their lives even though they said they wouldn't. I have lost so many friends all because they couldn't understand or were too afraid to face a reality. People who told me to be true to myself, yet at the same time are afraid when I reveal a apart of me to them. Why are you so afraid? I am only what you want me to do. I am only taking the advice you give, but now you are afraid of me? Perhaps you are just afraid that it will affect you.

 

Remember the post on fb that I wrote: "We are all friends until we disagree"? Yeah, this is what I meant. To put it in simple terms: If someone is not willing to accept you on your bad times, then they are not true friends. I'm not afraid to face you when you tell me that I'm doing something wrong and I'm not afraid either to tell you when you are wrong about something. At the same time I'm grateful for all the good things our friendship has brought into my life and at the same time I know you are also grateful about this. As such, it depends on myself whether I will be your friend no matter what or if I'm going to be too afraid to say something and back off. Is the same with every other person, you decide to remain their friend no matter what but they decide whether they will be your friend in good and bad times or not.

 

I know who I am as a person and I know my limits and flaws. Do you? I know in my heart I can love so many, but people are afraid of my love. So much so that I started to think my love was toxic, but I realize it is not me who has the problem. Rather some of you are just too afraid of the unknown. I am adventurer myself. I love the unknown and are willing to find out more. I am even willing to find something in others that even they can't see: Good and bad. The sad reality though is that many of you rather only remember the bad and never the good. How can only one bad moment in one day ruin a friendship that had been built up over years of work? How could you or even they let go of something so easily because of one thing they are afraid of? I may not be perfect, but at least I am not afraid to face the world. I am not afraid to tell someone off if they are being a jerk or afraid to tell them to their face what I feel in my heart.

 

Because you are willing to carry the risk of being proven wrong. Not everyone has the guts to do that and believe me, there are thousands and thousands of people who are not ready for this.

 

Everyone is afraid of losing. Losing their love, losing their friends, losing their credibility, but you know what? If you know who I truly am, then I can never lose. You can lie to yourself about things, but you can't lie to me and expect me to accept it. You can't tell me to take a certain piece of advice and yet not even practice it yourself. That just means that even you find doubt within yourself. I am willing to help anyone who needs me to find a better answer to life. I am willing to do anything I can to show you that life is much better than you really think and open your mind to new ideas that are waiting for you to discover, but I can't help you or show you if you are unwilling to try. Bravery is not having any fear, but rather overcoming it. So be more brave and speak your mind. Don't be afraid of another person because they are no better than you. They have no higher standing than you no matter what title they hold.

"At the end of the game, the king and pawn go back into the same box."
Italian Proverb.
So just know that everyone is equal and we all have the same opportunities. You are no better nor worse than any other person on this planet. You are just human and are meant to discover the unknown, but the more you hide the more you lose a little bit of yourself. You can't be truly self-reliant because then you won't develop into the person that you are. You need the "mirrors" to reflect, otherwise how can you improve?

"It takes an entire village to raise one child"
African proverb.

 

QFT my friend, QFT.

 

So don't be afraid because you don't understand. That is not how you grow as a person. That's not how you live a life. And no, I do not believe that you NEED to be self-reliant, but I feel you also need to know that sometimes you need to take time for yourself to understand your world. Give some people a rest now and then and you can always comes back to them. If you trust them, then they will always be there, but if you can't even trust them when you come back then maybe you don't understand the relationship itself. This is why I hate it when boyfriends get jealous at me when I talk to their girl. It just means that they don't trust their girl to stay faithful. Sure you can say I am full of it, but am I really? Why would you question or get defensive if it was not true about being unsure about what you think? If your relationship is as strong as you claim, then no matter what I do you will always have your girl. If you have doubts or get jealous over other guys talking to her, then maybe you don't trust her as much as you think you do. It's also funny how many tell me that if you love someone, you should set them free, yet they themselves won't let go of their former loves or get really jealous and upset if the girl they love goes with someone else.

 

Hah.... hahahahahahaha.... You probably know why I'm laughing so hard right now.

 

I know who I am a person. I know that I can love so many and I am can think of things that you never even realized. I have been called a savior, a hero, a villain, and at times even a scoundrel. I am all of them and yet I am none of them. Yet, the question is do you know who you are and if you do why do you lie to some people?

Who am I to say all this to you? I am me. I am a human being just like you. Who breathes like you, bleeds like you, loves likes you, and even lives like you. I also dream like you and feel as you do. I can do everything that you can do, yet I am also different enough to be my own person. You have to come to the reality that everyone in this world has the same potential and the freedom to do everything regardless if you like it or not. Regardless if you agree or not and that just because you think you are right doesn't always mean that you are. The world is only portrayed as you want to see it and you believe what you want, but at the same time just because you don't want to accept it does not make it untrue.

"To thy own-self be true."
-Shakespeare.

 

Now my question for you is, Are you willing to stop asking why people don't accept you into their lives and shift this thought into: what can I do to achieve my own happiness while I allow others to live their lives how they choose it to be, even if that life is a life of fear?

 

"You are not here to try to get the world to be just as you want it. You are here to create the world around you that you choose. And allow the world as others choose to see it, exist as well."

[James S Cassidy]

Oooh *rubs hands and gets ready to type* XD
 

 

Hehe... interesting. I encourage you to read and research the books related to this topic for the answer you seek, but I will share with you the theory that I've developed over my 1 month of studying this:

"What goes around, comes around."

Yup, as simple as that. People who wish you harm will get harm themselves because that's what they're spreading. By the same token, if you spread judgment, you will be judged. As such, when you spread out love, you will receive love and when you spread gratitude, you will receive gratitude.

Remember when I told you that when your voice becomes louder than the opinions of the outside you would master your life? That's because you can even decide what will hurt you? What do I mean by this?:

"Someone says: You suck!"

Is up to you whether to believe it or ignore it. But be sure that whoever said this will have something "sucky" come back to them.

 

You create your own world and you decide what feelings you will give to what others say to you. At the same time you respect how others want to shape their world and you let them live their lives the way they choose to, because that will not change your own happiness.

 

"When you realize your potential to feel good, you will ask no one to be different in order for you to feel good. You will free yourself from the cumbersome impossibilities of needing to control the world, your friends, your mate, your children.... You are the only one that creates your reality. No one else can think or feel for you... its you... only you."

 

I am still am trying to find an answer to a question about "Creating your own world." vs "You can't control everything." Of course, I could be thinking too literal about it, but at the same time there is part of the equation that kind of says "Yeah, you can." Very hard to express what I am thinking on this one, but perhaps...Hold on let me bring up something that might apply to what I am thinking and also might be the answer. Still meditating on it.

 

 

I am reminded of this
 

I have come to the realization that there are many good people in this forum and there are also people who only know to say negative stuff. When i noticed the change of behavior in the forum I decided that I would not let it affect me anymore. As such, I chose to ignore all those people who bring that negative aura to the forum and befriend all those people with good and positive posts.

 

Indeed there are, but there are times I feel that the good people get punished for what the bad people do all because they stick up for themselves. So, I fight for them. Why? I don't have to. I don't really need to either, but....I want to. That's who I am as a person to help those in need and speak for those that cannot speak or are too afraid to.

 

Honor - Choices that you make, reflect of whom you truly are
Courage - Rise above the masses, live your life complete and strong
Compassion - Is the power that must be used for the good of all
Loyal - To the ones in my care, standing true for what the cause
Honesty - There are no shades of grey, only truth as it can be
Sincere - Don't need to give my word, to speak of such, is the same thing
Courtesy - There's no need to prove strength, even respect your enemies
Values - This is the code I feel, emotions without words, can speak
 

It is a life I choose to live because it makes me proud of myself. It let's me know that I did all I could even if I fail.

 

This may sound a bit... arrogant to some point, but some people are more mature than others. As such, some of them can face the truth in many situations while others can't. Hence why the defense mechanisms appear whenever they find themselves in a spot where their ideals are challenged. But when you realize this, you know that there is no need to keep punching that wall of fear because as long as they themelves do not destroy that wall, they will not proceed further in life. The best you can do is keep moving forward while hoping that someday, they destroy that wall and catch up with you on your path.

 

You could call it that if you wish, but I rather call it "inexperience." Simply put, some of us haven't been through all of what life has to offer...good or bad. Some die before they can and others live long enough to experience several times over. This whole idealism that "you should just ignore it and move on," isn't kind of the very reason why stuff doesn't get solved? People just keep running away hoping that it will solve itself....at least until they run the same problem again...and again....and again. All they do is run and never know how to truly solve the problem. This is why I try showing that facing down the problem is better than running away from it. Eventually, the past can sometimes catch up to you and repeat...I know this all from experience.

 

So the idea of "always run away and never look back," eventually you will have to fight your demons. I rather not live a life of regrets like that and I don't feel people should either. Not at least without trying to make a difference. As usual though, fear gripes them and all they do is run.

 

I think this is just a whole misunderstanding, for you two have different definitions of this term. As such, my request is that first you should understand each others meaning of this term and listen to your respective versions of the story. I listened to both of them already and my take is that you are both right and wrong about some points, so talk it out. Like you said: don't be afraid my man. You both don't need to be afraid to make your friendship stronger, because I know that after this conversation your bond of friendship will be stronger.

 

I know what the other meanings are and as the song goes..."I'm ready when your ready for me." The problem is, do they understand the meaning of the word? I have met several people tell me how so self-reliant they are, yet always expect others to bail them out or, and you know who this is, say that they don't care for something in their life and yet go after it anyway. I am saying that what they think is in essence a lie. At times and in some topics, I question them and want say "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."

 

Or perhaps they need a better word than "self-reliant," because they might not be using the word correctly. A better word to use would be "resourceful." Finding other means to achieve your goal or achieve a state of mind. A person who is resourceful is not restricted to self-reliance and actually is more flexible in that case. By definition, self-reliance means "With no outside force helping to achieve a goal." This is unlike "resourcefulness" which is a basic "use any means to achieve ones goals."

 

As I said, self-reliance is not something we are born with and I wonder if we are not meant to be self-reliant.

 

self-re·li·ance

n.

Reliance on one's own capabilities, judgment, or resources; independence.

 

Asking your friends whether or not you did the right thing to going to friends to be happy is NOT self-reliance by definition.

re·source·ful (adj)

Able to deal skillfully and promptly with new situations, difficulties, etc.

 

This seems a more flexible word don't you think?

 

Remember the post on fb that I wrote: "We are all friends until we disagree"? Yeah, this is what I meant. To put it in simple terms: If someone is not willing to accept you on your bad times, then they are not true friends. I'm not afraid to face you when you tell me that I'm doing something wrong and I'm not afraid either to tell you when you are wrong about something. At the same time I'm grateful for all the good things our friendship has brought into my life and at the same time I know you are also grateful about this. As such, it depends on myself whether I will be your friend no matter what or if I'm going to be too afraid to say something and back off. Is the same with every other person, you decide to remain their friend no matter what but they decide whether they will be your friend in good and bad times or not.

 

But why? How can one detail change so much and erase everything else? We brought up the fact that should remember the good times and not the bad, but isn't that what they are doing? Instead of remembering all the fun and good times they think of one bad moment....one silly mistake....one moment of weakness and all of a suddenly he whole game changes? I don't accept that. I'm sorry I don't. I understand it, but I don't accept it, but then I can't change it or help it. It's a bit childish to let one bad moment ruin an entire lifetime rather than thinking "I guess things just got carried away."

 

When me and my mother had that horrible argument I come to realize something. yeah the fighting was bad, but you know what? We communicated more than we ever have done. So "You think we're fighting and I think we're finally communicating." Isn't that looking at the good side of a horrible situation? The Secret says to do this all the time and instead feed off the good and positive energy.

 

You ask me to accept a lot from them and accept a lot during a situation, but should I be the only to accept it? It's when people tell me to stop living in the past yet I tell them "then why are you holding on to a grudge that happened 5 years ago?" I am looking for a better future and they are too busy remembering the past thinking it won't change for the better. So who is the one really living in the past? In relationships, it's not one person...it's two. That's why that whole argument "it's not you, it's me" is such bull. What do they expect to hear? "Yeah, you're a complete b*tch who hurt me and you should pay the price for it OR perhaps it is better to change it. You can always try and makes things better you know. Nothing in the cosmos says you can't."

 

Again, playing in the whole "You create your own world" vs "You can't control everything."

 

 

Hah.... hahahahahahaha.... You probably know why I'm laughing so hard right now.

 

 

 

Yeah I do.

 

Now my question for you is, Are you willing to stop asking why people don't accept you into their lives and shift this thought into: what can I do to achieve my own happiness while I allow others to live their lives how they choose it to be, even if that life is a life of fear?

 

"You are not here to try to get the world to be just as you want it. You are here to create the world around you that you choose. And allow the world as others choose to see it, exist as well."

 

 

No. I will never stop asking "why" because as I said I am always going after the unknown. That's the best part about the adventure. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

The even bigger question is....Are they? Can they accept it and learn to move on from it and be my friend again? What have they got to lose? They have everything to gain from it. Can the other people in their lives accept it or are they going to live by their word and not their own? They can see the bigger picture and move forward or are they going to be stuck in the past. If the world is made around my choice...then I choose to wait and see what they say. If they can give me a real answer as to why or why not...then I will accept it as is. I am not gonna push anymore, but I am not going to go away either just because they want me to. Sorry, but that just means they can't accept my world.

That's the funny thing about freewill. They can't make do what they want me to do either...so I will wait right here where they can find me. I will wait till they either change their mind and or one of use dies because as along as we are still alive then change will always occur.

 

BTW, We need to discuss something on Skype when you have a chance.

Edited by James S Cassidy, 09 October 2013 - 05:29 PM.

[James S Cassidy]

You gotta beat the heat these haters comin' hard
Ready to to break down your armies and go shatter your walls

 

You're gonna rattle, shake and bring the heat!
You'll show the haters when you sweep 'em right off their feet!
You're gonna cast out your light and cover them in your glow
The world is now your garden; Give em love to grow
You're mother nature; They hate ya. Nailed ya on the cross
It's all lost to me; The cost to be a beacon in the dark ya see
Is your life; But you know inside though they're your blight,
They're never ever gonna manage to put out your light
So Carrot Top; Spread your wings and take to the sky
You're gonna rise in time; They hurtcha but you'll never die
Like a phoenix; Rise again when they strike you down
You'll change their frown; Turn all their worlds upside down
The second coming has begun; The deed is done
The haters lookin' atcha; Shakin' cause they're all about to run
But then you hold out a hoof and show em gentle smiles
It's worthwhile; They feel they hatred leave; You banished the vile

[James S Cassidy]

If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?

And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

No!

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.

Try to find out what makes you tick.
As I lie down
Sore and sick.
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

There's a fine line between love and hate.
And I don't mind.
Just let me say that
I like that
I like that

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.

Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love.
Die for anyone
What have I become?

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.

 

[James S Cassidy]

Funny story happened today.

 

I was walking downtown when I saw my first hooker, she was beautiful and had really pretty eyes. She was crying though, a man had just beaten her, I assume it was her pimp. Anyway, she told me she has two mentally disabled children and this was her only form of income. So I asked how much she needed to which she replied "I need about $3.50." Well it was about this time I realized this girl was 8 stories tall and from the paleolithic era! God dammit Loch Ness monster! You ain't getting no tree fiddy!

Edited by James S Cassidy, 10 October 2013 - 08:00 PM.