358 replies to this topic

[Kyuzo Hatake]

Can I call you Shadow?Besides angels are way better than demons.

Kyuzo Hatake

[Shadow Wolf]

Toasty: You have a point there buddy, hehehe.

Kyuzo: Yeah, I guess Shadow's OK too. But I have to ask, why did you mentioned the fact about angels and demons?

__________

Am I a good person?

This will probably be a bit sad, so I'll just enclose it in spoilers. Feel free to check it out, but I have to say in advance: I write this as means to let it out, and I dislike to make people feel sad about me. That's why I like to be kind with everyone.

Tonight's events... --Click here to view--

Well, tonight my dad snapped at me yet again in his drunken state. I’m used to the weekends being a disaster because my parents get drunk and if they don’t have discussions with one another; my dad vents his frustrations out yelling at me and insulting me. I usually keep quiet, since I know that drunk people usually say things they don’t really mean and because I like to keep peace in the house (I prefer to cry in silence than to snap back at my dad and have a heated discussion with him while he’s in that state)

However, tonight I could not hold it anymore... I snapped at him (I didn't said anything mean to him, though. I just talked about the fact that I do care about what's going on even though it may not seem like it). I tried to keep myself quiet and just let my dad vent out his frustrations until he got tired of seeing my poker face and go to sleep, but as soon as I heard him talking about my online friends and the girl I love, I could not take it any longer. I could take a mouthful of bad things about me, but I definitely could not stand it when he mentioned that I didn’t truly loved her and that my online friends were not true friends because they could not “feel me, lend me borrowed money, or hang out with me”.

This was the first time I ever argued back with him and made him shut his mouth (he had to see my tears to do so, but he finally held his tongue). The whole family woke up and was worried about our conversation, but in the end, I made sure everyone was OK.

I hugged my dad and told him that even though I may not be his "ideal son" I'm there for him and that I love him. I went to the room, kissed my Mom and told her the same. After that, I went to my little brother's room and comforted him (since my Dad also said mean things about him), and finally, Monica (my sister)recently went asleep, since I'm sure she was exploring facebook to keep me company for a while (she got out of the room and witnessed everything while my brother and my Mom remained in their rooms listening).

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a good man. Not having a job yet... disappointing my family... and not believing in myself, thus being afraid to do many things... I ask myself that question every time this happens.

However, this is one of the few times I can answer positively to that question. I am a good man because I have friends who believe in me, brothers who know how much I care for them, parents who know I love them despite any of their flaws, and someone who loves me like no other person has ever loved me... someone who I want to make happier than anyone else at the end of every day.

I won't let anyone badmouth the people I care for, because they’re the ones who showed me that I have a purpose to live for, a reason to hope for, and they showed me to believe in myself.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I hope that everything ends well in the end. That way, the next time I ask myself Am I a good person? I know I’ll be able to answer: Yes Louis, you are a good person.

Well, that aside, I hope everyone's doing well. Believe in your friends... in yourself... and in the people you love. This will give you the strength you need to keep going.

Later everyone!

Shadow Wolf

[Kyuzo Hatake]

Don't really know...But it's true,Besides I don't have the same problem as you I just am very different from anyone else(Look at my profile and you'll see what I mean)I'm an introvert so I don't really want to "belong" I just want someone to understand, just so I know it's possible to.I'm pretty different from the rest of my family and I hada close friend who understood a bit,but then when we grew up he didn't think it was possible and thought it was just an act.(you should check out my blog)

Kyuzo Hatake

[Shadow Wolf]

Well, I have to admit that your profile description is quite interesting Kyuzo. I think that we choose who we want to be and that we should be happy with ourselves despite what other people think. I don't know if I said it before, but Erich Fromm is one of my favorite authors and he says this in quite an inspiring way:

“If other people do not understand our behavior—so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being "asocial" or "irrational" in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them. How many lives have been ruined by this need to "explain," which usually implies that the explanation be "understood," i.e. approved. Let your deeds be judged, and from your deeds, your real intentions, but know that a free person owes an explanation only to himself—to his reason and his conscience—and to the few who may have a justified claim for explanation.”

___________

Well, today, I went through an unusual, but very unpleasant experience: I accidentally "swallowed" a mosquito.

I won't enter into details (since I think describing it would only make it really unpleasant), but let me tell you that I'm eating "Quesitos" and drinking fresh milk and I still can't get that unpleasant sensation out of my mouth.

That aside, I hope to buy another car for my collection today. A scale model of a car which you can construct by yourself. I really enjoy building them as a hobby.

Finally, I plan to watch some movies today. I already saw Main in Manhattan and well, I liked the story. Romantic (sappy), fun and well, good overall. Anyway, if you're the type to like romantic comedies and sappy love stories, then I recommend Maid in Manhattan.

Well, That's all for now. Later everyone! Oh, and don't forget to tell the people you love that you love them. Believe me, nothing beats an honest I love you.

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

_____________

Well, I don't feel like double posting now so I'll go ahead and edit this one.

To be honest, I'm feeling a bit sad today. I really have no reason to be sad, or maybe I do have one: concealed feelings.

You see, I held all my emotions on the day when my dad insulted me. However, due to me holding my emotions, I spend the next day feeling very tense. I think I even had a bit of high blood pressure (my pulse was at 92 so there's a good chance for that). Of course, my dear one helped me feel happy, and I'm truly grateful to her for that. In fact, I wonder if I'm loving her as much as she loves me... that's how happy she makes me.

However, I guess I should not hold emotions too long, because if I do, this happens (and by "this" I mean this bit of sadness I'm feeling today).

It's funny that I have everything to be happy right now, and I feel a bit sad. I guess sadness is a natural feeling in humans, even in happy ones. However, I don't want anyone to worry about it, really. I'm sure that after a nice shower, everything will be fine.

Of course, I would like to ask: Have you also felt like this (having everything to be happy and feeling sad at some point)? What do you do to handle it?

Well, I think that's all. Later everyone!

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

Edited by Shadow Wolf, 18 April 2012 - 01:12 PM.

[Kyuzo Hatake]

I don't really care what people think of me.And your Awesome

Kyuzo Hatake

[Toasty Warrior]

I find it best to ignore what people say because usually they just say harmful things to make themselves feel better.

[Shadow Wolf]

Kyuzo: Thanks! You're pretty much an awesome guy yourself.

Toasty: It's kinda hard to pull that one out when your own Dad is the one doing the insulting, but I've managed to do it a few times. Is just that in that specific day, he began badmouthing someone I care for and.... well, that made me snap back at him (while never offending him, though).

_____________


Well, I woke up "a bit" earlier than usual today (hahaha, 3 hours... yeah right!)

Anyway, I made some coffee today and I've been thinking on my reasons to be awake at this hour. And the main reasons are two: Missing someone and empathy.

I woke up missing a certain someone a bit more than usual and I could not conceive sleep anymore. I'm a bit afraid that she might be worried of me not getting enough sleep, but I hope she understands that things like this can happen, hehehe.

The other reason was empathy for a friend of mine. I went to visit him yesterday and we watched a movie. However, I found out that he had to wake up at 4am today (it was 9:00pm when he told me this and the movie ended up at 9:15pm). So you could say that, after finding out today that it was 4am... the least I could do was to try to know how he felt today as he slept just a few hours because he had practice to complete.

Anyway, those are pretty much the two main reasons for me to be awake at this hour... and since I don't think I'll be goign back to sleep soon... a cup of coffee *sips a bit* and I'm ready to go!

Time to do some fun stuff in the meantime:

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
Hahahaha, yep. I did that a few times.

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
Umm... how can I say it... this is teh first time I'm dating someone and we're pretty much the same age so... but if unrequited love counts then 2 years.

3. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yep, I've been in about...four. Fun thing is that I wasn't the driver on either one of them, I was on the co-pilot/passenger's seat.

4. Were you popular in high school?
For my academic skills, yeah. For the rest... not so much. :sweat

5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Nah. I don't go out much so...

6. Are looks important?
Not really! We all grow old anyway.

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Yeah! I have about 3 friends I've known since childhood. We're neighbors (or we live near each other)!

8. By what age would you like to be married?
Considering my current situation.... 25+

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
It depends! If she plans to be a friend, then I don't mind; but if it's someone looking for a serious relationship and has slept with a lot of guys (and I mean a lot), then that would definitely freak me out. XD

10. Have you ever made a mistake?
Who doesn't?

11. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
I've had good looking teachers, but I usually had a crush on a classmate so... nope.

12. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
Yeah, probably.

13. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
Alcohol has been traumatizing in my life so if possible, none of them. If there's no other choice, then a beer.

14. Do you have any phobias?
Yeah, fear of dogs (usually big-sized dogs). Childhood experience.

15. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
Nope

16. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Negative commander.

17. Do you believe in ghosts?
I've had my share of experiences.

18. Missing someone now?
Yep! That's why I'm awake so soon.

19. When was the last time you told someone “I love you”?
Just today!

20. And truly meant it?
You can be sure of that!

21. Can you handle the truth?
It depends on the kind of truth.

22. Do you remember your dreams?
Yepp. Just yesterday I remember a dream about hair color. XD

23. What has been your longest love relationship?
Hmm... I haven't been in a relationship until now... I usually liked a girl, and if I became friends with her, I had what I called the 2-month-curse.

24. When was the last time you went to church (or a religious house)?
About a few weeks ago, if memory serves right.

25. When was the last time that you cried?
Last weekend! Uncomfortable circumstances...

26. If you fell in love with two people simultaneously, how would you pick?
That hasn't happened, since I'm usually a one-crush-at-a-time guy. However, if that were to happen someday, then I'll probably stay with the one who I know will compliment me the most and whom I can share a greater bond of trust.

27. What was your first car?
Mitsubishi Mirage

28. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Usually no one. I don't like to "bother" other people with my problems so I usually write something. But now, I guess I also like to share my worries with her,

29. How old do people say you look?
Usually 19... until they hear my voice.

30. Who’s the sexiest famous woman alive?
My soul mate, of course.

[Shadow Wolf]

These questions look familiar. I wooonder why?

*is caught stealing questions from Kim's blog*

....Umm... I can explain.

lol, so did licking it help at all?

Hahaha, it worked after I cleaned them with some water and a soft tissue... but if it was alive, my tongue would probably get mad at me. (I was a kid, though).

[Shadow Wolf]

I'm listening...

Umm....

*thinks hard*

UMM.....

*thinks harder*

UUUUUUNNNNGH...

*thinks really hard*

......

*lowers head*

I can't come up with anything but the truth... I guess I'm the most dreadful liar after all. XD

I was stalking your blog for a while and I found these questions to be funny so I thought you wouldn't mind if I borrowed the questions (though I should've let you know).

Ew, well you should've tried that first.

Hahahaha, I think it's a bit too late now. Thanks for the advice anyway.

[Toasty Warrior]

Well, your own dad throwing those insults at you? That's not right...

[Rainy Daze]

I don't really care what people think of me.And your Awesome

Kyuzo Hatake

Woah wooah waahooooh~

There are lizards crawling on my window outside. It's pretty neat but kind of silly.

HI SHADOW. I'm stalking your blog right now /noms on some ice

...

Rainy's ulterior motive for entering this thread was for lurking purposes and to stare at Kyuzo Hatake's avatar picture in wonderment abandon


/nods and eats more ice Yup yup

[Shadow Wolf]

Well, your own dad throwing those insults at you? That's not right...

Yeah... unfair... but I guess drunk people can be hard to deal with so I usually put a poker face and let him rant until he gets tired and goes to sleep. This time of course, I couldn't allow it. And I won't allow anyone to badmouth my darling. Insult me to death but say anything bad about my soul mate and get ready to feel this howl sinking his fangs in your soul.

But nothing to worry about Toasty. He even apologized to me on the next day (and that was a first).

Woah wooah waahooooh~

There are lizards crawling on my window outside. It's pretty neat but kind of silly.

HI SHADOW. I'm stalking your blog right now /noms on some ice

...

Rainy's ulterior motive for entering this thread was for lurking purposes and to stare at Kyuzo Hatake's avatar picture in wonderment abandon


/nods and eats more ice Yup yup

Hahahahaha, you sure know how to make your friends laugh, huh Rainy?

Anyway, just be careful not to get a brain freeze from eating a lot of ice, OK?

And yep, Hyuzo's avatar draws attention fairly quickly.

____________

Well well well, today's a lazy day. Just chilling out listening to "Sunday Morning". ((d_b))

Anyway, I'm staring in amazement and disbelief at my backyard. One of the trees nearby is dropping so many leaves that it makes me feel like I didn't clean my backyard just two days ago.

I'll probably begin to build one of the collectible cars I bought a few days ago. That's one of the hobbies I like to do because is a hobby both my dad and me have in common. I hope this collection keeps growing.

My collection --Click here to view--

Well, I'm off for now. Take care everyone! Later!

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Rainy Daze]

Yep yep, glad I could make you laugh :3 I'm sorry to hear about what happened though ):

[Toasty Warrior]

That's good that your father apologized to you for his action although it was probably more the alcohol at work.

[Shadow Wolf]

Rainy: Thanks, and not to worry. It all turned out well in the end.

Toasty: You might be right. He had recently woke up when he did that so there's a chance that it was still the effects of alcohol. What has kept me thinking is that a drunk person usually reveal what they truly feel so that has left me feeling uneasy.

____________

So bring on the rain... oh baby, bring on the pain... and listen to the thunder.

Why are rainy days so effective in making a sensitive person feel kinda sad. I won't exactly know but today, the rain has done a good job in doing that... or maybe I'm just too sensitive to begin with.

Anyway, lately I feel like all I've been doing is screwing up. I guess I'm probably exaggerating or taking things too seriously but that's how I've been ever since an unfortunate event happened.

You see, at one point in my life, I remember to have offended four people in less than 3 days. They all kept quiet about it until they all told me at the same time each of my offenses. It was a cold shower and all I had left was to apologize. I didn't know how much I was capable of hurting others until that day.

From there on, I promised myself not to offend anyone and try not to say embarrassing stuff.

The thing is, I felt like I've been kinda doing this when posting some comments. Is not my intention, but it has happened. And well, even though I apologize for each event as soon as it happens, I can't help but feel that I'm not doing any progress at all in preventing this from happening. Is like tripping twice with the same stone.

Well, I guess I should just stop over-thinking everything. ;; I'll take a mood-flipper now.

1. Do you believe in Heaven?
I may have a different definition but yeah, I do.

2. Have you ever come close to dying?
So far, nope.

3. What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
Well, I take it off if I know it'll get dirty but I have a bracelet I always wear.

4. Would you ever consider having plastic surgery?
Not really! I did thought of something like that at some point but somebody helped me change my mind.

5. What do you wear to bed?
Hahahaha, well, if you want to know... this island is tropical so night's are usually hot when you don't use a fan.

6. Have you ever done anything illegal?
Stuff most people do on the web and break some driving rules (like speeding and the like, but its usually because I don't notice it. )

7. Who was the last person that you touched?
My mom, she woke me up to ask me for the laptop.

8. Where did you eat last?
Here at home. Breakfast!

9. Besides your own blog, are there any that you routinely read but never comment on?
Hmmm... I usually drop by Konan's, Rocket's, Boom's, Leo's, Kim's, Konoha's, Fenris's, Rainy's... usually the ones that have been updated.

10. Ever been involved with the police?
Like arrested? Nope.

11. Do you talk in your sleep?
I think somebody told me that I talked to him while I was asleep but that was a long time ago.

12. Now a celebrity fantasy. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
Umm.... I'm not a guy with a favorite celebrity, but even if I had one, I wouldn't do this.

13. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
Define successful, because I think that even though I may be poor or broke, my life has been successful because I get to be myself.

14. Where do you wish you were?
Hahaha, in a certain country in Europe.

15. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Hmm... I seem to remember an experience of something like that, but I usually dismiss it as a dream.

16. Is there any type of dancing that you love to do?
Salsa and Merengue are my favorites.

17. Last gift you received?
Hmm.... I don't know if this applies but a kiss and an I love you.

18. Last sport you played?
Sport? Hmm... I don't know, I guess I played Volleyball, but that was quite a long time ago.

19. Last place you went on holiday?
El Yunque *points at pictures on the Show Yourself thread*

20. Current Song?
Well, right now I have a song on repeat: Shakira - Rules.

That's all for now. Later everyone!

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Toasty Warrior]

Alchol has a tendency to do that to people. I should know, I've seen it's effects firsthand too and that's why I refuse to drink not so much of it.

[Shadow Wolf]

Toasty: Sorry for bringing such painful memories buddy. I guess the good thing is that you learned what it can do while in my situation.... well, let's just say that the same hasn't happened with my parents. But no to worry, since no matter what, they raised me into who I am today and I'm grateful to them.

_______

I don't have much to say, but I don't want my blog to be empty either, so I'll write a few details of today's events:

-Today I continued the quest to look for a new job. I made some calls to show interest in the places I went to before, visited an agency which specializes in finding jobs here and there and went to the "Department of Jobs and Unemployment" to send my resume and request for availability to work. However, in the process of doing all of this, a sudden negative thought came to mind and I can't seem to shake it off my head because it may have some truth in it: "You're just as much of a coward as you are nice to others, aren't you Lou?"

I have to admit that I don't give my true potential because of fear. Fear of what? I don't know exactly... it may be fear of disappointing others or disappointing myself... fear of change... fear of failure... I'm not sure. However, I have it... and it's bothering me to no end because if I don't fight it, I might end up being just like my brother called me once... "a parasite". The thing is... even though I wish anyone would help me on eliminating this fear, I can't... because I have to fight my own fears.

I know that it is a negative thought... and who knows... maybe my pessimist behavior is what has made my parents lose faith in me... and in the process, I guess I also lost faith in myself.... plus in the process, maybe that how I end up running away from everyone... every time. Into my room, into the computer, into anything that has nothing to do with reality... maybe I've been running away all this time.

However.... however.... someone suddenly appeared in my life; and now, she has put all her faith and all of her happiness in my hands.

I asked myself: "How could she trust... me? Can I make her happy? What does she sees in me that she has not seen in others, and that it makes her love me that much?"

And that's when I realized that I'm still in fear.

And even with that negative thought in mind... I can't help but... smile. Heck I'm even laughing at myself as I write this (I guess I pretty much crazy right now).

But you know... I guess that's because I believe that love has that kind of power: The power to drive off fear and all doubts.. the power to make you believe and to help you discover just how strong you are and just how much you can love someone. Hehehe, maybe that's the reason as to why I love Naruto so much: "When a person… has something important they want to protect… that's when they can become truly strong.".

So yep, I guess I owe her much, since she has lent me the key to finding the power to fight my own fears. Hehehe, I bet she'll be very happy when she reads this since I let her read my blog. So yep, thanks for so much happiness darling.

Hahahaha, well, I apologize for the weird stuff I write at my blog. I guess I sometimes use it to think of deep topic. That way, I won't forget them.

Well, monologue aside, I want to ask you guys. It may be an awkward question to answer but I'm taking this one seriously: How do you guys fight your own fears?

Well, I better GTS for now. I'll leave a quote which I think it gave me an answer to how will I fight my own fears and to show just how important your precious someone can be.

"I hate rain. It rains in here, too. When you are moody, it becomes cloudy. When you are sad, the rain comes down... I can't stand it. Can you understand? How horrible it is to get rained on when you are all alone in an empty world? In order to prevent that from happening... I'll lend you whatever power you need! If you can trust me... I won't let one drop of rain fall from that sky! Trust me... you are not alone..." (Zangetsu speaking to Ichigo - Bleach)

Later everyone!

Louis (Shadow Wolf)

[Toasty Warrior]

Don't worry about the painful memories thing, it wasn't me that was effected by the alcohol per say, it was my friends that got effected by it and I've seen the dark side of what it can do to good people.

[Kyuzo Hatake]

[i]1. Do you believe in Heaven?
yeah

2. Have you ever come close to dying?
yeah
3. What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
a piece of rope around my wrist
4. Would you ever consider having plastic surgery?
No!
5. What do you wear to bed?
Cotton pants and...any shirt
6. Have you ever done anything illegal?
Yeah (in a good cause)

7. Who was the last person that you touched?
My Dad

8. Where did you eat last?
Home(dinner)

9. Besides your own blog, are there any that you routinely read but never comment on?
Yeah a bit
10. Ever been involved with the police?
For training yeah

11. Do you talk in your sleep?
Nah
12. Now a celebrity fantasy. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
No one
13. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
Yeah... so far
14. Where do you wish you were?
Japan
15. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Nah
16. Is there any type of dancing that you love to do?
No

17. Last gift you received?
A hug
18. Last sport you played?
Soccer

19. Last place you went on holiday?
Kenya

20. Current Song?
Last day on earth-Kate miller heidki

Edited by Kyuzo Hatake, 28 April 2012 - 11:19 AM.

[Kyuzo Hatake]

[i]1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
No

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
2 years
3. Ever been in a car wreck?
No
4. Were you popular in high school?
No
5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Nah.

6. Are looks important?
No!

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Yeah I have a friend I've known since I was 2.
8. By what age would you like to be married?
35

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
If it's a high number a bit.
10. Have you ever made a mistake?
Yeah!

11. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Yeah but it was just a bunch of shallow feelings
12. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
After a while, yeah

13. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
None.I don't drink

14. Do you have any phobias?
No

15. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
Nah

16. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Middle

17. Do you believe in ghosts?
No

18. Missing someone now?
Yeah I'm missing a girl I love that just thinks of me as a friend(as in a normal one)And I'm also missing my relatives in kenya.

19. When was the last time you told someone “I love you”?
yesterday

20. And truly meant it?
Hell yeah!

21. Can you handle the truth?
Yes

22. Do you remember your dreams?
Mostly(sometimes I wake up, lie there thinking about it for like 10 minutes get up and promptly forget)

23. What has been your longest love relationship?
I haven't been in any(coz when I get in a relationship I want it to go somewhere,but not at killer speed)
24. When was the last time you went to church (or a religious house)?
Last Sunday

25. When was the last time that you cried?
Today...

26. If you fell in love with two people simultaneously, how would you pick?
The one who might go somewhere)
27. What was your first car?
I had a Ducadi motorbike

28. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
God

29. How old do people say you look?
14

30. Who’s the sexiest famous woman alive?
Kate miller heidke

Edited by Kyuzo Hatake, 28 April 2012 - 11:41 AM.