Maximum Overdrive.
What the **** Stephen King, seriously? I swear, I sat through the entire movie in a freaking daze. Every three minutes there was a logic fallacy or something that made no goddamn sense whatsoever. Keep in mind, I'm a pretty forgiving guy and can find enjoyment in a lot of things others can't for some reason. But I just did not understand what the hell I was watching.
You want to talk about a ridiculous ****ing movie, this one takes the cake. Here's the basic plot summary. A meteor passes close to earth, emitting some strange kind of radiation. This radiation causes trucks, vehicles and small appliances to go haywire, gaining sentience and murdering humans. A group of humans are imprisoned at a truck stop, forced to refuel all passing trucks or be killed. They're also all damn near killed by a sentient eighteen wheeler with a goddamn goblin head on the front, like it was some kind of circus attraction. At the end, it's heavily implied the whole thing was a plan by aliens as a preliminary invasion. A UFO was destroyed by a russian sattilite carrying nuclear explosives. Yes, really.
Did that make any sense to you? Me neither. If you put even the slightest amount of thought even into the basic premise, the entire movie falls apart.
The only good part is the soundtrack, which is by AC/DC, but bloody hell, you can go out and BUY that.
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Spider-Man 2
Not sure if I'd call it the worst so much as I feel it's the most over-rated film of all; I honestly do not know why it's as popular as it is. I swear I had more enjoyment watching the Rifftrax of it. It was basically 90's Spidey on the silver screen in regards to how bad it was; and, well, marriage era Spidey was so damn bad that bringing in Mephisto to erase the damn thing was seen as a preferable alternative to it going on any longer. The only Spider-Man film I actually enjoyed was the first one, which was in spite of it's flaws.
Oh Spider-Man 2, let me count the ways:
- The most wooden acted sequel I think I've ever seen. Granted, Tobey McGuire and Kirsten Dunst weren't exactly right for their respective roles right from the get-go, but at least it felt like they
tried in the first film. The two seemed damn bored in this film and it translated into a few yawns of my own.
- WHY THE **** WAS SPIDEY'S MASK OFF IN THE TRAIN? WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE? WHAT DID IT DO FOR THE FILM? RAEGFAEC.
- OMG THE CAMPINESS I CAN'T TAKE IT.
- I swear the film has to have had one of the dullest film romances this side of Twilight.
- Honestly, the film, or the trilogy in general really, didn't seem to have a real clue who Peter was. Sure, it paid lip service to classic moments in the comics, but did the character really feel like Peter Parker? Didn't to me. But hell, I just read the comics, what do I know.
- What is with the damn pro-American imagery? It wasn't too bad in the first film, but after that it just got ridiculous. I mean, patriotism is fine and all, but how often did the damn character pose in front of flags? News Flash Raimi, he's not an American Icon. Though I can see why you might want to do that; I mean, it's not like Marvel has a patriotic American icon of a super hero for all that sort of thing, right? RIGHT?
Oh.
... Dammit Raimi.
The good part about the movie? Doc Ock. Now that was one part of the film I loved. Alfred Monila pretty much stole the damn show, to the point where I was so glad to see him throw a car through that restaurant, breaking up the dramatic tension.
I won't get into 3. I fooled myself into believing that film was any good for so long. I'd prefer not to have an aneurysm from rage.
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Batman & Robin.
OH MY GOD. AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! EWW! EWW! KILL IT! KILL IT!
Do... do I even need to explain? Please don't make me explain. I don't think I can make it through the ice puns and the Bat Credit Card and the Bat Nippl-
AHHHH! NOOOO! IT'S IN MY HEAD GET IT OUT! DAMMIT SHUMAECHER!
Please don't make me go on. ;_____;
I think you should explain it. Partly because I want to see what you would say and partly because its been more than a decade since I saw the movie, and I can't remember anything about it other than people saying how much it sucked.
I watch movies so rarely I can't add a lot of new stuff, but I'll add the Never Ending Story. My old college roommate thinks I'm high for hating it, but I detest the movie. I really though it'd never end.
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