QUOTE (Jenskott @ Jan 25 2010, 08:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have found a nice fic. It is a time travel story, but it is pretty original, avoids most of the typical pitfalls of that sort of fics, and it manages capturing my attention and keeping me reading. I think it is worth to check it (and it deserves more reviews):
Mirrored Images by Shizune has been updated with Chapter 10.
Mirrored Images by Shizune has been updated with Chapter 10.
I'm reading That one too on my breaks at work.
It does capture the attention, and is well different from most of the rabble that runs around FF.net nowadays.
QUOTE (jbspence @ Jan 26 2010, 07:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
While my immediate reaction to this thread was "Holy kitten they're talking about my fic guess I should stop lurking and say hi!" I suppose I'll step in to offer.. not so much a defense, because you're right in that I also think that it's a weakness, but an explanation. The problem I tend to have while writing is that I have pictures in my head, but I don't have the skill to get them across in writing - it tends to come off as a rushed pacing to other people in most places. My expertise isn't there; it's elsewhere. The reason that particular thing comes off poorly, though, is because that wasn't quite how the fic was supposed to go in my outline.
Namely, I chickened out.
Team ten was originally supposed to all die there in a more open confrontation, and I had a finished version of that and simply couldn't bring myself to post it. Evilish Sakura is SUPPOSED to be a villain, but there's at least some hint of sympathy I try to write about her - she really is supposed to be what Sakura could be with the background I'd had in mind, and I don't think anyone would really deny that Sakura could certainly have a mean streak.
It might just be in my head, but at least part of the reason I'm writing is so that in two or three years, I can go back and see that same picture in my head, you know? I mean, I'd love for it to find an audience, and for other people to enjoy it the way that I've enjoyed the work of others, but I can certainly sympathize with the complaints.
Namely, I chickened out.
Team ten was originally supposed to all die there in a more open confrontation, and I had a finished version of that and simply couldn't bring myself to post it. Evilish Sakura is SUPPOSED to be a villain, but there's at least some hint of sympathy I try to write about her - she really is supposed to be what Sakura could be with the background I'd had in mind, and I don't think anyone would really deny that Sakura could certainly have a mean streak.
It might just be in my head, but at least part of the reason I'm writing is so that in two or three years, I can go back and see that same picture in my head, you know? I mean, I'd love for it to find an audience, and for other people to enjoy it the way that I've enjoyed the work of others, but I can certainly sympathize with the complaints.
Your scene changes need work, and you tend to focus alot on evil Sakura, which is understandable. If you find your self rushing it some. Maybe you can go full third person and work in some of the other characters thoughts on how Sakura is acting. But for what you have so far, you are a fairly decent writer.
By the way, since there is, as some have mention, a classic trek parallel. Does evil Sakura prefer wearing tight leather and playing with really sharp kunai? lol
