So I was watchin' "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide"--DON'T JUDGE ME IT'S CUTE--and was giggling over my favorite character, Gordy the janitor. Gordy is played by Daran Norris, who happens to be a long-time voice actor as well as TV actor. He's most known for being the voice of Cosmo, Mr. Turner, and Jorgen Von Strangle on The Fairly OddParents. Because I'm a huge FOP fandork, especially for Cosmo, hearing his voice always makes me happy.
Unfortunately, it also makes me incredibly sad anymore because he was also the voice of Tasuki, a character from Fushigi Yuugi<---the anime that I can no longer enjoy because the manga broke my heart. The anime that was my solid favorite for five years before I finally managed to buy all of the manga, only to have the manga's ending shatter the (as I'd seen it) perfect ending of the anime.
Fushigi Yuugi is, to me, one of the most sparkly, romantic, sappy shoujo series there is. It's right up there with Sailor Moon in the sparkle department. And for me, back in high school, that was
perfect. I ate up all 52 episodes of the dub (and that's something crazy, since I rarely ever like dubs) and went on to rewatch it at least four times before returning the borrowed DVDs to my friend. I loved the characters, the plot, the romance, everything; it made me laugh, cry, throw tantrums, and left me feeling completely satisfied by the end of it.
So, imagine if you will, my joy at finally being able to buy up the manga in omnibus'--three volumes in one, six big omnibus volumes, one happy me. After reading the first three, I realized that the anime had actually ended at what was the halfway mark of the manga. I remember being so nervous about reading beyond the anime's ending that I put it off for a week and a half. Finally, though, I sat down and read on.
In order to continue, some explanation of the plot of Fushigi Yuugi has to be given. The basic premise is that there's a book called "The Universe of the Four Gods" that, when read by a young woman, has the power to drag her into the book itself so that she becomes the main character--a priestess of one of the four nations (each nation being protected by one of the four gods). Said priestess then lives out the story, working to gather the seven celestial warriors related to the god of whatever nation she landed in so she can summon the god. Once the god is summoned, they will grant the priestess three wishes. The catch is that once the three wishes have been granted, the god is supposed to devour the priestess; this usually isn't learned until much later on in the story.
The main character of Fushigi Yuugi is Miaka, a high school girl that accidentally ends up in the story as the priestess of Suzaku (the guardian of the South, a phoenix). The series follows her as she gets accustomed to being the priestess, goes on her journey to find the celestial warriors, and deals with friend/romantic drama. She falls in love with the first person she meets inside the book, a young man named Tamahome. Later, it's revealed that he's one of the Suzaku celestial warriors, and this leads to complications in his relationship with Miaka. The romance between Miaka and Tamahome was my absolute favorite part of the show, and after 52 episodes of watching them struggle to be together, I was completely satisfied with the ending.
See, an essential part of the plot is the difference between the real world and the world of the book--it takes a while for Miaka to realize that the land she ends up in--the ancient China setting--actually
is the book. Once she does, the question of whether the people she knows and loves in the book are actual people or just fictional characters comes up. Obviously, the biggest concern is over whether Tamahome's real or not seeing as he's the love interest, and towards the end of the series Miaka is forcibly sent back to the real world. Tamahome somehow manages to go with her, and they share a little time being comfortably together while Miaka shows Tamahome around her world. Unfortunately, he figures out on his own that he's not supposed to be there, by way of not seeing himself in the mirror--no reflection=not real, ne? It also helps that Miaka's best friend/enemy/person that wants Tamahome for herself tells him flat-out that he's a character from the book. This leads to him wandering around aimlessly for a while, feeling depressed at being fictional and not being able to really be with Miaka, until some random event makes him pull the, "As long as I can be with her I dun' care" speech.
During the climax of the anime/first half of the manga, all of the celestial warriors are pulled into the real world for a battle with the Big Bad. Once it's over, the creator of the world inside the book tells Miaka that it's time to say good bye to everyone, including Tamahome. Miaka asks if there's any way Suzaku can keep them together through the wishes, but the creator says there isn't.
Cut to two years later (or so, I think?), with Miaka having gotten into a decent high school (this was a minor plot point; like, reeeeallly minor) but feeling rather incomplete ever since the "ending" of her adventure. She's walking on campus with her best friend and older brother, not really paying attention to what's in front of her as he brother mentions that there's a new guy at his university. Said new guy has been talking about gods, priestesses, and being a celestial warrior in his dreams. He'd also mentioned how there was a girl he felt he had to find, no matter what. Suddenly, Miaka looks up, and there's Tamahome. He holds up his hand, showing her the impromptu wedding ring he had exchanged with Miaka before the final battle. She gasps and covers her mouth with her hands, showing her ring as well. As she cries, he says, "I finally found you", and the anime ends with the words "Wo ai ni" ("I love you") appearing on the screen, followed by "The end".
I WEPT LIKE A BABY EVERY TIME I SAW THAT. I never questioned how Tamahome got back to the real world, I never cared about what happened to them afterwards. I was completely satisfied with him being back, them being together, and the "The end" giving me the best closure any anime series has ever given me.
SO. Imagine, if you will, my trepidation in reading beyond that point in the manga. As I read on, the plot began to revolve around exactly how Tamahome had "gotten back" and what happened to them afterwards. Turns out, the dude isn't necessarily Tamahome, but a reincarnation named Taka. The god Suzaku runs on
love power apparently, and he knew that the love between Miaka and
Taka was going to be superduper powerful. So, because he couldn't wait for them to meet up and get to having a powerful love, he sent Miaka into the Universe of the Four Gods, and put Taka's soul into the character of Tamahome. Once the story in the book was over, Taka's soul went back to its body with the memories of Tamahome (I guess? It was never completely clear to me how Taka's soul was in the book even though he was born a few years before Miaka. Was it just a piece of his soul?).
This, I could have lived with. I could have accepted the name "Taka" despite having been a Tamahome fangirl for five years. I could have accepted that Tamahome, as in the guy born and raised in the ancient China setting of the book, was really Taka--that they were one and the same, set up in two different ways so Miaka could build a relationship with him strong enough to last from the book to the real world.
Except that wasn't the case.At the very end of the last volume of the manga, Miaka and
freaking-should-not-exist-Taka at staring at the starry night sky together, talking about how they're so
grateful to Tamahome for allowing them to meet. About how Tamahome was basically a plot device created by Suzaku so that Miaka and Taka could meet. About how
Tamahome is a separate character from Taka.My mind broke.
My heart broke.
Tamahome....the guy I'd spent 52 long episodes watching fall in love with, and struggle to be with, Miaka is a separate character from the guy she ends up with?
Tamahome, the one who'd been apart of my favorite anime--which seemed to tout the theme of "true true love" like a neon banner--for five years, was just a stepping stone for Miaka to run off with someone else?
Someone else who,
by the way, is nowhere near as entertaining or lovable as Tamahome? Someone who had nowhere near as much relationship development with Miaka as Tamahome did?
I mean, what did Taka have to go through? "Oh noes, am I Tamahome or is Tamahome me? Does Miaka love me or Tamahome? Oh look I'm the real guy and she picked me over Tamahome. Yaaaaaaay."
What did Tamahome have to go through?
--struggling with his feelings for Miaka despite being a celestial warrior and therefore someone only supposed to protect her as the priestess
--struggling with balancing his duty to his family as the eldest, most capable member and wanting to be with Miaka as a suitor
--helping Miaka on her journey and supporting her through the good and bad times
--helping her through her issues with her best friend/enemy
--struggling with his own powers as a celestial warrior
--dealing with whether or not he's fictional or "real"
--dealing with the fact that he probably won't be able to marry Miaka and stay with her
because he's from the book
Etc. Etc.
Et bloody cetera.
Because of that last little bit of WHAM in the manga, I raged for a good two or three weeks after the ending. I gave away all of the manga. I gave away the anime. I gave away the collector's items I'd saved up for, because I just couldn't stand to look at them.
I still don't like hearing about Fushigi Yuugi because part of me wants to keep on loving it--the characters, the utter sappiness of it all. But I know that I'd never be able to go through the anime again without thinking about the ending of the manga. It's, essentially, been tainted.
I know it's
reallyreally a little childish to get so hung up over an anime/manga; I get that it's probably not worth getting so upset over, especially since it's been just over a year since I read the ending of the manga. But... Up until reading the ending, I'd been able to attach myself to everything I read/saw and really dig into it. Since reading it, I've become much more cynical in regards to anime and manga, and I find it difficult to feel attached to them anymore--at least, to the level I used to. Sure, I still have some series' that really get me, and some romances that really make my heart pound. But for the most part, I read 'em or watch 'em, then forget about them or just add them to my list of read/watched things and move on.
Even with the series' that I
do grow attached to, it doesn't really last like things used to. At most, I'll feel really passionate about one for a week or two, and then it fades and I scrounge around for another to take its place. It's kind of tiring--I love having a series or character I just can't get enough of, and it makes me sad to realize that while I have favorites that last, their "presence" comes and goes, and at times I feel like I have to work to make myself like them as much as I had before.
....I dunno if that's making any sense, but that's best I can describe it I think, lol. The short of the long is, one of my favorite characters from Fushigi Yuugi was Tasuki, one of the celestial warriors of Suzaku. His dub voice was done by Daran Norris, and whenever I watch Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, or even Fairly OddParents, I still hear Tasuki and grow incredibly sad remembering how much I enjoyed Fushigi Yuugi and how much I miss it. Today there were three straight episodes on of Ned's DSSG, and by the time they were over I missed Tasuki and all of the other characters so much I contemplated digging up the Fushigi Yuugi episodes for old time's sake. Then when I got upstairs to my room, I remembered the ending of the anime. Which reminded me of the ending of the manga. Which made me not ever want to see Fushigi Yuugi ever again.
And now I'm stuck with a quandary: I desperately miss the anime, and I know that I loved it separately from the manga long enough that it may be possible to see it as its own separate series altogether. However, try as I might, I can't seem to be able to disassociate the manga's ending from the anime's ending, which makes watching the anime at all seem pointless as it would just lead to me feeling sad all over again.
The most obvious choice present is to give it a shot and see what happens; just try and episode or two and see whether I can still enjoy it without thinking of the manga. The most obvious uncertainty with that, though, is that if I
can't enjoy it without thinking of the manga, I'll have brought it all back into focus by watching the anime and I'll end up feeling miserable for a time when I could avoid it by not watching it at all.
IS A PUZZLEMENT.
ANIME. WHY YOU TOUCH MY HEART THIS WAY, HUH? WHY YOU GOTTA BRING A GIRL DOWN, YO
