80 replies to this topic

[murdoc]

COOL, Chapter 5 is out

I can't wait anymore, I decided I will read Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 NOW.

[ciardha]

COOL, Chapter 5 is out

I can't wait anymore, I decided I will read Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 NOW.

Thanks I just finished the first draft of chapter 6, going to let it sit for a few hours before I come back to proof and edit it, and then send it to my slow betareader

[murdoc]

I didn't know whether to leave a comment in your Live Journal, wait to review them when you post the Chapters on fanfiction.net or to post the reviews here. So I decided to just post them here in a spoiler tag.

Chapter 4 Review:

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

This Chapter was great.

I really enjoyed reading the ceremony.

It was pretty funny that Jiraiya's book was about Naruto, I assume most of it was fiction because this chapter said that Naruto was somewhat a ladies man but he never tried to make a move on them.

LOL, Naruto and Sakura were kicked of the ANBU because they had sex during missions.

You don't like Ino that much, right? Because you made her look kinda slutty and annoying.

Chapter 5 Review:

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

This Chapter was a little short compared to Chapter 4 but it was quite as good or even better

It was really emotional and It made me shed a couple of tears

I know that you want to show how much Sakura and Naruto love their friends but it kinda seems like the love they feel for each other and the love they feel for their friends is the same, It doesn't really feel like there is much difference

I can't wait till the next Chapter

Keep doing this AWESOME job

[ciardha]

Feel free to comment both here and Live Journal. I check both regularly. You don't have to worry about spoiler tags there.

I plan to eventually do a chapter that is about Sakura's and Naruto's stint in ANBU As for Ino, I like her I'm just writing what I see as her nature. The guys don't understand why Sakura is friends with her but I tried to show in chapter 3 why they are friends. Sakura knows Ino's nature and accepts it. They've chosen very different life paths though and the friendship drifts apart a bit because of that. Not that they'll become enemies or even dislike each other, just have less and less in common over the years. Something that often happens in real life. My best friend in high school drives a city bus and I'm an assistant librarian. We've talked a few times in recent years and still are fond of each other but our lives are so different now that it's hard to connect.

[murdoc]

You portrayed Ino's personality pretty well but it feels like you only talked about her bad qualities and kinda forgot about her good ones.

[ciardha]

It's there Ino's protective nature toward Sakura- why she flirted with Naruto so outrageously when they were alone- no witnesses, she wanted to make sure someone that was Jiraiya's apprentice would be faithful to her best friend. Then there is Ino's real feelings of affection for Choji. Even even what might be percieved by Naruto and Sasuke as negatives aren't seen as such by others, including Sakura. Even some of the guys find that aspect a positive, including Sai who has great fun trying to out verbally pervert Ino. It's a skill they like to test each other on, because both are highly skilled at it, it's challenge to see who is the "best" Very like how Naruto had to claim his Sexy no Jutsu was more perverted than Konohamaru's when he returned to Konoha.

Sakura knows Ino quite well and knows what her skills are. She trusted Ino alone with Naruto and knew Ino would test him in some way. Naruto thinks he's hiding some terrible thing about Ino from Sakura, but she basically already knows. When Ino came in complaining about how boring Naruto was that told Sakura that he'd passed the test with flying colors. Sakura couldn't help a moments gloating that at least for one man in Konoha she was the most sexy woman, and it just happens to be the man she loves.

[murdoc]

I read Chapter 4 again and you're right it is there, I didn't notice it that much because it's more implied than stated.

[ciardha]

That's because so far Sakura is the only person who has a positive perspective on Ino that I 've written a direct interaction with. I've implied that Sai and of course Choji have a positive view of Ino. Shikamaru's opinion is pretty positive too. Tsunade knows she's one of her better ANBU ninjas. In fact, most of the kunoichi like Ino. Temari's probably about the only one that has mixed feelings. Of course Ino feels the same about Temari. Even though Ino's moved on romantically from Shikamaru she's still a bit jealous that Temari can relate to him as an equal partner. In turn Temari's a bit jealous of Ino because she's really the winner in seduction skills. Temari had been the winner on that part when Ino wasn't quite 13 and Temari was a far more womanly looking 15 year old. But once Ino caught up in both sexual maturity and kunoichi seduction skills, she eventually surpassed Temari.

[ciardha]

Chapter 6, unbetaed draft, up on my live journal. (I think I'm going to have to ask someone else to beta read my stories, my old beta readers have too busy of lives and that makes them too slow for good beta readers.) I'm not too keen on putting up unbetaed chapters on fanfiction net, but I'm getting impatient so I'll probably go ahead and do it soon.

http://ciardhapagan....com/210490.html

Had some fun in this chapter, part 1 of the wedding reception.

[Tobi_Uchiha]

Cute I love it....specially the part where Hitomi asked Sakura that question about Naruto. I think Sakura blushed deeply, didn´t she?

Please, Please update it soon

[murdoc]

Chapter 6 was great ciardha. I don't really have much to say about it except for one question:

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Did Sakura take Naruto's last name when they got married or did she keep her's?

Sorry if you already said this in one of the chapters but I read lots of NaruSaku fics and sometimes I forget little details like this one

[Tobi_Uchiha]

Cute I love it....specially the part where Hitomi asked Sakura that question about Naruto. I think Sakura blushed deeply, didn´t she?

Please, Please update it soon

Oops hehehe I mean Harumi....hehehehe I made up another name

[ciardha]

Chapter 6 was great ciardha. I don't really have much to say about it except for one question:

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Did Sakura take Naruto's last name when they got married or did she keep her's?

Sorry if you already said this in one of the chapters but I read lots of NaruSaku fics and sometimes I forget little details like this one

Yep, she took his name. They are the founding members of Clan Uzumaki.

Oops hehehe I mean Harumi....hehehehe I made up another name

Heh, and yes she did. She also had to restrain herself from having a "Tsunade reaction" to such a hentai question.

[murdoc]

I'm not too keen on putting up unbetaed chapters on fanfiction net, but I'm getting impatient so I'll probably go ahead and do it soon.

If you're getting too impatient maybe you should start putting them slowly one by one, you could put Chapter 4 on fanfiction.net I didn't see any mistakes in it (actually I didn't see any mistakes in any of the Chapters)

One more thing, could you mention in your fic Sakura's married name (I know it's Sakura Uzumaki) because usually when Naruto and Sakura get married in fics they never mention her married name, it really bugs me seeing more times on the internet the name Sakura U----- (I don't type it because I hate that name) than Sakura Uzumaki (I love how it sounds).

[ciardha]

If you're getting too impatient maybe you should start putting them slowly one by one, you could put Chapter 4 on fanfiction.net I didn't see any mistakes in it (actually I didn't see any mistakes in any of the Chapters)

One more thing, could you mention in your fic Sakura's married name (I know it's Sakura Uzumaki) because usually when Naruto and Sakura get married in fics they never mention her married name, it really bugs me seeing more times on the internet the name Sakura U----- (I don't type it because I hate that name) than Sakura Uzumaki (I love how it sounds).

I like it too. I think you kind of allude to an interesting point though, with Sasuke, Sakura becomes basically only an appendage to Sasuke (and frankly it looks like that was the way the Uchiha clan was set up, very patriarchal. I didn't see even one female Uchiha who was an acting ninja, or in the village police force. It looked like the only role for females in the Uchiha clan was wife and mother. Sasuke's mother was clearly quite subservient to her husband. The Uchiha clan looked to be in some ways even more rigid in acceptable roles for clan members than the Hyuga clan, particularly for gender. It explains part of Sasuke's attitude toward girls too with that kind of gender role rigidity. He would have great difficulty understanding girls that acted outside of his clan's expected roles, and he would have to struggle with seeing a female as his equal or superior. (Which spells some difficulties with Tsunade, unless something happened to tear away his attitude about his clan superiority to anyone else's. Which does happen in my story, although he'll have some inward discomfort at having his life as a ninja, up to Tsunade's decisions. Not at the first moments when she decides to allow him to continue to be a ninja on a probationary level, but later, when he gets comfortable as a Konoha ninja. He also has to work it through how much stronger and self assured Sakura is, she's on a basic level, his equal, not the weak vulnerable girl he remembers. The fact she was crucial in saving his life makes it a concrete thing, and helps him accept her and see a woman, for the first time, as his equal. It's as much Naruto's and Sakura's rescue of him as his hellish last part of the time he was with Orochimaru, that shifts him away from the mindset he grew up with.

For narusaku fans we are used to seeing them as equals, they are just Naruto and Sakura. I was conciously doing something in my fic with the choice of family name and clan symbol that said this marriage is a creation of something new and of equals- she takes his "family" name (which didn't belong to anyone before him) but the clan symbol is a representation of her first name. They are creating a new clan. (and if Kishimoto's "future team 7" drawing that inspired this story, was a wedding picture of Naruto and Sakura, it looks like he was thinking along the same lines. I like to think so. As for the difference between Naruto's hair and makeup in what you've seen in my tale of their wedding and Kishimoto's drawing, Naruto looking like that will be in there.

[Enermil]

and if Kishimoto's "future team 7" drawing that inspired this story, was a wedding picture of Naruto and Sakura, it looks like he was thinking along the same lines. I like to think so. As for the difference between Naruto's hair and makeup in what you've seen in my tale of their wedding and Kishimoto's drawing, Naruto looking like that will be in there.

What is that drawing that you are talking about? Can you show us some pic?

PD: Excellent fic CIardha wonderfully written

PDD:Sasuke is Gay... well the last two manga chapters "Sasuke kun give me your body", Cursed Seal 2 and 345 cover have nearly convinced me about Sasuke´s homosexuallity.

[ciardha]

What is that drawing that you are talking about? Can you show us some pic?

PD: Excellent fic CIardha wonderfully written

PDD:Sasuke is Gay... well the last two manga chapters "Sasuke kun give me your body", Cursed Seal 2 and 345 cover have nearly convinced me about Sasuke´s homosexuallity.

This drawing, it appeared in the first Naruto databook
http://www.naruto-wo...nimebook-04.jpg
I'm surprised narusaku fans don't have it plastered all over the net Kishimoto occasionally does a possible foreshadowing drawing. For example, there's one of an adult Naruto in the Chunin/Jonin uniform with a kunai in his mouth, hiding behind a doorway, looking like he's getting ready to attack someone, as a chapter cover in one of the early volumes. (At first I thought it was the Fourth until I saw the whisker marks on his cheeks and was like- Hey! That's an adult Naruto!)

Thank you.

Yeah Kishimoto isn't hesitant to write gay characters, that's for sure! Sasuke just always had a gay vibe to me.

[murdoc]

I don't really get the meaning of that drawing, Is it really a wedding drawing? it seems like a normal team 7 picture to me.

[ciardha]

I don't really get the meaning of that drawing, Is it really a wedding drawing? it seems like a normal team 7 picture to me.

Not noted as a wedding picture explicitly.
But note some interesting things about this drawing: Kishimoto did it before he even published the first chapter of part 2. They are clearly at least part 2 age, and looking at Sakura's face in particular, look even older- 18+ I'd say. Now look Sakura's pose, she's "connected to" Naruto. Then notice both Sakura and Naruto have cherry blossom motifs on their costumes, as well as the giant pipe behind Naruto has a cherry blossom motif. Notice that Sakura's and Naruto's finger where a wedding band would go are hidden...
And you know what Kishimoto says about looking for the underneath

I think Kishimoto was playfully suggesting a wedding picture there. That picture was what inspired my fanfiction. I was an English lit major in college so I almost automatically start looking for symbols in literature, which is often quite helpful in catching subtle things in manga.

[murdoc]

Now I get it. Maybe you're right, Kishi might be sending us a message.